Welcome everyone to dont look under the Internet. The podcast we are just we're just fucking okay. I just stared into Jason's eyes deadly for like, a solid five seconds.
It made me feel so comfortable.
That's Jason
Hello.
That's Doug. Wade he's looking a little
rough over there. Was that God, I think he's like bubbling up from that drain in the floor.
I think he just turned into someone else.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that. That's my bad guys. Okay,
it's not duck fuck Doug were with you know, we're with Matt aka
moods. Yeah, he's, he's filling in for Doug this episode. So everybody say hello to as somebody who just very kindly put it as a Moog. Big fan.
I would like to be the one to say we have a big announcement that involves moot we do? Yeah. I wouldn't say big but we did a lot of talk and wouldn't either. Like what we're kind of bring in move on as the fourth member of the Lodi
Oh shit. Really?
Yes. Yes, we
got we didn't tell you.
We talked about this.
But no, it's true. We we have decided to extend an invitation to our good friend Matt. Or as you guys know him as moot. He's helped us out so very, very much in the past. He ran a whole fucking arg for us, just to give us content, I'm assuming. And now he is here to help us out with episodes do some behind the scenes stuff, but mainly just joined the Duty team. So everybody, please welcome moot in the best way you know how
you like me? Cuz here I am. They're just
laughing at you. I'm so sorry. That was the wrong? I'm sure. Know that.
The audience we really can't hear what it was.
You can't hear the board. That's right. It was a
special computer.
So you've just invited here to make fun of me with sounds that I can't. Exactly. This is gonna come out next week. And it's just every time I say something just fart noises that what you're gonna do to me?
I mean, you won't know until I'm done editing. So for now let's remain in that mystery.
Yeah, but Doug's not here today. So not moody is going to Mad eye moody is going to take over tonight and you know in the future to come as well. Some episodes. So yeah, absolutely. So welcome aboard, buddy. Do you have anything you want to ask people the beautiful people
I appreciate you guys giving me a shot. And hopefully I don't let you down. Hopefully the audience likes this new setup. And the last time I was on the podcast, I said continue existing and you should do that as well. So
yeah, I mean, I hope everyone else is really happy to hear from our unpaid intern mood as well.
Please help me he's not getting this
I would like to start this off by doing the old fashioned diluted clap of housekeeping above your head. I think Moots news could have been in housekeeping but you know that's okay. It gets its own separate bracket. We have two new patrons that I want to announce today one with the surgeon. Oh he's gonna use US Surgeon you guys will good. Give you a ticket. So scalpel served you so good.
I can't look at you
the surgeon we also have John surprise now is your name John surprise or is it like an action like Tama in there it's a John surprise John
surprised.
I didn't know how excited to be right now or how surprised
thank you guys. It's really awesome. Use
directions unclear to cut to cut and paste
there's a shirt if I ever fucking
but thank you everybody. If you want to be a patron as well go to patreon.com/deluded pod. You can chuck in something or you can chuck in nothing. It's a free country. You can do whatever you feel but if you do do the nothing route you won't get anything so
you We'll get Us Weekly. True but that's it.
That concludes
that delivery weekly Like Us Weekly like the maggots.
We're on the same level I think.
My my KISTER dad more on page seven I would also want to just get this one out of the way too because I haven't done it in a cool minute. That was weird.
What the fuck just happened? I don't know.
I want to we have no this one minute so it's a spit on hands. But you drink it. Are you thinking there's a bottle here and it's up to you? Yeah, yeah. Well,
first we got to hear from the newest member. What uh, what are you drinking? Matt
menagerie of things. I started with a shout of benchmark whiskey which at my local liquor store they marked for at the wrong price. And so I just scooped up a bunch of it. And so I took a shot of that. And then I've also got liquid death to rehydrate from my weekend. I abused my litres that just and I'm currently paying for it still is liquid death, just like sparkling water. It's sparkling water, but I have the lime flavor.
So it's a fancy Lacroix he
like fancy maybe not, but it's like, cooler. Yeah,
it'll murder your thirst. It's called Liquid.
Like, you're right. You're absolutely right.
And then I also have a Texas Leaguer, knuckle Bock German style dark lager for later.
Texas leader knuckle buck. Sure. Yeah.
Close enough.
Jason, what do you what do you bring us
I brought us a Kentucky fuck you Corbin Kentucky straight bourbon called puncher's chance. And there's a picture of uh, honestly, this looks like it could be hanging in a cocaine dealers den like this, this picture of this tiger. But it's on there. And that's honestly the only reason I bought it. And we're drinking it now. And it's, you know, it's whiskey. I'm feeling it.
It's strong.
It's strong.
It's strong. And it's cheap. Is it good? It's strong and it's cheap. So that's where
we're only whiskey I won't drink as the whiskey that's in like the plastic handle at the very on the very bottom show like $8
gross you know else is gross. Jason.
What else is gross?
How some like governments or is this is can just take over a country or not a country a town? A county you could say Yeah, and just go gung ho and do whatever they want on it.
Yeah, I agree. This is a this is a great topic opening sentence. Other area of the podcast as
the Blue Oyster Cult one said God dammit
that was wrong. No, that's fucking Colonel champ even
I thought he was gonna go for don't fear the Reaper and I was having a really hard time figuring out how you were going to cut.
It was an even slow bit that I've watched. Oh, man. Can we do that over?
We can but I'm not getting rid of it. That's the one that's making the episode. We're
covering the Eventide Media Center today. Yes, we
are going right back to the tempest universe. Yeah. Channel Seven
was in The Tempest. Universe. So this is actually Aiden. If you guys remember last time channel seven was made by Aiden chick.
Aiden Schick? Not a male yet. Yes. Different eight in there. My theory is you have to be named Aiden to make analog horror and you have to be named Alex to make analog horrors. Well, I guess one of the two names as long as you're Aidan or Alex, you can make analog horror otherwise Sorry.
Go fuck yourself. Sorry, Matt. Yeah,
well, I mean, you did a good job, but
you have to be named Aiden or Alex make good and
ya know, Aiden, as some of you may know, if you follow him on Twitter or anything like that. He did put a tweet out there where he's like, ah, yeah, I'm not really into my channel seven or my Tempus universe or anything like that. I feel like it was like a selfish thing to make and he was like I did it for you know, the clout essentially. But he you know, stated that channel seven he didn't think was all that good. He said that Eventide was his, you know, is true. Analog core.
Personally, I liked channel seven. I thought it was very fun. But you can see in Eventide there are things that he took from Channel Seven, and added upon in ways that I enjoyed thoroughly. I think it's,
you know, it's good. It's definitely you could I'm happy we did channel seven first I will say that
yeah I want to do an introduction because I liked channel seven a lot and obviously if we're gonna go into the tempest universe more what better way to introduce them then
you know yeah first one he made you can't start off with like the heavy hitter yeah
but eight and if you listen and we love you and your everything you do is pretty pretty awesome so follow me best slot
into datumize Deana
follow the podcast back.
Eventually you'll just slide into daddy Mike but conversation for
later. Yeah, he needed some foreplay first though.
Where do we start with Eventide boys? I don't know. I don't know.
Yeah, I guess I have the beginning. I guess I'm just gonna jump right into it. Hell yeah. So you'll have that we start off with from video one which is C they brought me here. They set me up and they were like, you're just gonna fucking start off and do the first bit. So sticking into the fire,
I want you to know this. This is pretty much exactly how we do episodes. We forget about it until Monday night and then we scramble.
Yeah, okay. Anyway, the first video is called unusual architecture. And it's apparently from 1989. And it looks like this is a video that has been ripped from a VHS tape. And it's very reminiscent and style and like appearance to one of those educational videos that your teacher used to make you watch in middle school and she would roll out the CRT TV on the cart. And you had to sit there and watch and listen to that awful techno music. Hey, man, those
were some of the best days of my class. It's like
that is true. It's like an arrogance. You didn't have to if you can master the skill of sleeping with your eyes open.
It's like an old Robert crown video. Remember Robert Kraft?
I don't know idea of it. Sure. You don't either moon? No.
We're gonna press pause Mike,
Robert crown it for those of you that don't know, is a company that when you're in fifth grade, they come to your school and teach you about sex. And they show you a video of a woman given birth. And they show you these weird shitty 3d diagrams of like the labia and the Libya or what else is over there? The Syria I think. And it's show I
went to primary school in the Deep South, so we just didn't get this through you. We basically just got told that if we had sex addicts, we're gonna fall off.
You have sex, you will get pregnant and you will die.
That's the order of operations here. Well, okay, um, that'd be fucking you know that now. Thanks my content. Yeah, I'm
sorry. Thanks, Mike. Anyway, the video starts off with an intro screen with a 3d model of a cube, a sphere, and a pyramid. Which makes me think that this was made for us. Because if you're in the diluted discord, you know, all about the cube, the sphere in the period, but or bloated anyway. Anyway, there's no narration or anything to this video, there's just some music and playing in the background. And then there's a series of different screens with
informational texts on them. And the first one reads, In this video instruction series, you will learn about the types of impossible shapes their history and their use in architecture. And then we go into part one, which is what is an impossible shape that is, what it is. Possible shape, also known as a Penrose shape is a geometric structure that cannot exist within 3d Euclidean space. And this video doesn't go over it.
But if you don't know what Euclidean space is, is basically just like, the space that you do geometry and it's kind of like a graph, but it goes in three directions instead of to,
I'm gonna I'm gonna stop. So okay, all right, what it actually is, is it's you know how, in SCP there's the object class, Euclid Euclidean space is a space where you don't fuck with it, it won't fuck with you, the loony
pod, the place where you learn things that make you dumber, your life?
There you go. Is math related to science? I don't know. Anyway, three dimensional Euclidean space. Basically, all this is saying is that if you tried to construct a physical representation of one of these shapes in real life, it wouldn't work. You couldn't do it. Tell me what to do. And then it goes on to say even further that such configurations also cannot exist within the limits of non Euclidean space, such as an elliptical, spherical or hyperbolic geometry, which basically is just different
types of spaces. We think of space that we live in as basically like an infinite cube. Well, one of these spaces would be shaped in some other way. And that's basically all that means if you if you happen to Live in a space that is not Euclidean, unlike the rest of us, you still can't make one of these shapes. Sorry about that. The video also goes through some examples of impossible shapes and it gives you a picture of each one.
Mostly what they look like is they're made up of bars that are connected to each other in like some sort of impossible way. The best way to envision this and they actually bring it up later in the video is if you've ever seen MC Escher his paintings oh my god, I like those paintings where at first glance it just looks like a bunch of random staircases but if you actually pay attention like you realize the staircases can't move that way. Yeah,
he's one of my favorite favorite modernist artists. There's
that that that famous image of like the the optical illusion of the like the stairs that look like they're going upstairs to other stairs, but they're all connecting that's yeah, what this
Yeah, those paintings are made it yeah, those buildings are made out of these sorts of impossible shape.
Those non Euclidean Well, ish. Well, the painting themselves that MC Escher painted were non Euclidean spaces.
Yeah. If that makes you comfortable? Yeah, if that's your comfort space, just think about the SCP just Yes, even nothing. Yeah, nothing can hurt him like, it's okay.
He's safe space.
But anyway, all of this shit makes sense so far. And like the first part of this video is basically just an informational video until you get to the next part, where it starts fucking with you. And it says, although Penrose shapes seem to be paradoxical in nature, it is merely our psyche that dictates their appearance
of impossibility. By disregarding the limitations of our minds, we can begin to come to an understanding of the nature of impossible shapes, which that basically just means what you think is impossible isn't actually impossible. You're just a fucking idiot. And you need to think about it.
Take the red pill, consider this.
Exactly, consider the fall. And then the next part is actually impossible shapes and architecture, which shows you a bunch of pictures of MC Escher his paintings, and it's the video like skips for a second, almost like the VHS tape skips, and there's like a section cut out and then it comes back. And when it comes back, it gives you information about Lionel and his son, Roger Penrose, and the to believe that their creations were impossible to recreate within the confines of our
universe. They're the people who actually came up with these impossible shapes. And then it goes on to explain that despite their incredible ingenuity, their minds were ultimately unfit, which is just a big ol insult to these stupid. Yeah, they're also fucking idiots. And then it goes on to insult MC Escher. Because it says that he was responsible for popularizing the image of impossible shapes. His art often depicts buildings that incorporate these
configurations. Such art opens up the possibility of real world constructions of impossible shapes. The usage of these shapes could be the gateway to unlocking perpetual motion machines. Then it shows another one of his picture paintings, and then another one of his paintings, and then it says it requires a trained mind to conjecture, the experience of true impossibility. And then in a big old fuck you to MC Escher as well. It says not even MC Escher was capable of such a task.
First they came, and they said nothing.
They came for my paintings. The key to the secrets of the universe lies within the brain. And like I said, all that is to say that if you train your mind correctly, you can actually understand and build these impossible shapes,
always IQ level 9000 moves. Now
this is yeah, this is some Lovecraftian shit. This is for sure. Like once you understand the knowledge, you can understand these unpossible concepts, but my guess is your brains not going to be the same when you're done with it.
Right? Yeah. Who knows how you're going to turn out on the other side. But what do you get to the other side? Apparently, you should be able to build these impossibly as the seemingly impossible structures, and they should be able to provide infinite sources of energy. Oh, BP and then yeah,
oil air sorry.
Part three, actually goes over constructing an impossible shape. And it says in order to even begin the process of creating an impossible configuration, your mind must first be open to the possibility and then it says that if you follow these instructions carefully, you should be able to build in possible shape and that you should ignore all mental distraction. So it starts you
through this process. and it has to start with a prism and steps one, and two and three basically all tell you to go through various steps of extruding a prism to begin constructing this impossible shape, okay? And then somewhere in between steps one and two, there's a cut in the video where it starts to kind of glitch out. And then between step two and step three, there's an even bigger cut. So and then
we just, we just don't get any fucking, they're not gonna tell us how to build this, are they? Oh, they do.
Oh, we're getting there. Okay, good. Okay, so we get to part three, where you very nearly constructed the shape. And it says to put another prison next to the first two prisms that you extruded, and then the video just like completely go statically, like completely staticky. And in the background, you can briefly see the rotated object should completely disappear at this point, and then there's nothing but static, and then it comes back. And what would you guess? I think Jason's already guessed
this. There's an impossible shape on the screen.
None of the important steps are given to me here. And I have some questions for the manager.
Yeah, basically, they've given us make a shape, turn it into another shape, question. Question. Question profit. Basically, what
you've the equivalent of like, SpongeBob with the marble slab? It just hits it once.
Sculpture. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
exactly. And then at the very end of step three, when the video comes back, it says, Here is a full rotational view. And it seems like it's about to rotate the shape so that you can actually see it. And as soon as that starts to happen, it just morphs into like these scratchy lines, and makes a noise and then disappears. Oh, which I think the meta, like the in universe. thing here is if you're watching this video, and your mind is open, then you're
not a fucking idiot. When the when the shape starts to rotate, you'll be able to comprehend what's happening. But I haven't attained that enlightenment. So I couldn't see what it actually looked like. Somebody out there has attained enlightenment only man
that has would be Elon Musk himself.
Yeah, but there Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sorry about that. Sorry.
Why did you kill should just listen the Fourth Amendment.
Yeah. But if you freeze this video, exactly five minutes and 20 seconds, and the staticky lines that show up when the shape begins to rotate, you can actually see a pair of eyeballs like inside the scratches, but they disappear really quickly. So that's pretty fucking creepy. And then after that, there's just a copyright screen. This is 1989 Eventide Media Group. And then it says, created with a grant from the architecture association of Massachusetts.
And then the screen that follows that is a screen that says Eventide Media Center, open daily 9am to seven,
you're gonna see that one. Yeah. So
yeah, just like most of the analog cars, I'm venturing to guess at least with yours, Matt, that the the first three at the very least did the same thing that mine did, which is opens up with the Eventide logo and like your programming, or whatever the fuck is going on there. And then it just glitches and goes into what it actually needs to show us.
Yeah, something like more or less. It's the same. There's variations of that. Yeah,
exactly, exactly. But then, if you actually go to the description of this video, one of the links in the description of this video is a Twitter page for the Eventide Media Center, which the description of that is Eventide Valley's Community Media Center and library, which for the astute leave minded, you might assume that these are videos that are coming out of this media center, and even tie Valley so what if you're not that astute? Well, then your mic and you explain that experience to me,
then you just say you fucking figured. So
we'll figure ways
out of every situation.
Yeah, loops. So that pretty much covers video one. And so we go on to video two, which is Ocean View forecast. And the description of this video is your local forecast. And it opens up with a weather station intro screen, like an old 80s Weather Channel. Intro and it has jazz music playing in the background. I
love jazz music and all of these every analog or news things has the best jazz music in the background. Mike's gonna talk and love it.
Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah, it's, it's something there's something creepy about it. Yeah. I don't know what it is. And I think I think it's like the disparity between what should be cut coming in just the fact that it isn't the hell that's unfolding on the screen for it. Yeah. But you get the intro screen. And then it says, Ocean View weather regional forecast. And you get the weather for Misty point, Massachusetts, which appears to be a city on the east coast of the United
States. And the video also, this video also looks like it's ripped from a VHS tape. And it's around from around the same time period as the first one. And it has just like idle Weather Channel footage. So lots of people now, like younger people might not know what these weather stations look like. But and I don't even know if they have these anymore. But they used to have like weather channels that you could just go to, and just have 24/7 The
weather. It was basically like the weather app on your phone. But it was a TV station. Yeah, would just
like go through like 10 cities or something that was near you. Right? Yeah, find the one you wanted.
Yeah, this is exactly what that is. And the weather for this video is from Sunday, June 27. And there's more information about Misty point Massachusetts scrolling along the ticker at the bottom of the screen, which includes Misty Point Lighthouse is open Monday through Friday from 10am to 8pm. And it also says that you can buy a tour of the abandoned Misty point graveyard. So a lot like the first video, the first part of
this seems really normal. The first thing that you're going to realize is it's the Weather's supposed to be pretty calm, maybe a little bit of when and it's supposed to be foggy that night, and missed the point. But eventually, the video fades to black. And then you hear the sound of thunder in the background. And when it fades back in, you see the ocean view weather logo again. And this time, there's a video of like a pretty normal looking lighthouse
and the background. And then we jump back into the weather. Except this time, if you look at the top, the timestamp up on the top of the video, you'll notice that about 30 minutes have passed since the first weather update. And the forecast has now gone from mostly okay and foggy to like it's definitely going to storm like you're getting ready
to roll it. All right. So we've also get the same shit as before with the same screens, except that it's warning residents to stay inside and then a severe thunderstorm is coming. And eventually, we get a weather radar map. And it shows a very obviously large storm that's moving in to the east coast from the Atlantic Ocean. And then this is where the weird starts, the video starts to glitch out. And there's like this white light that moves from one side
of the video to the other. It's like just like this bright white fade in the tape that makes this buzzing noise and then disappears. And I don't show up well
on Phil's got very pale skin. Yeah, it doesn't. Exactly.
That makes sense. You're it's a problem. And yet back in the 80s the cameras couldn't really have you it would
enhance the audience. We're gonna be going open. Sorry, every time I go by the camera.
Oh, I'm sorry. And then we get a couple more warnings about thunderstorm and winds some more distorted video. And then it warns anyone who is on the coast to evacuate immediately. And if you read the evacuation notice at the bottom of the screen long enough. When it gets to the end it says if you see a lavender beam of light through the fog avoid its path. I loved this video so much. Yeah, it definitely was pretty cool. Suddenly after that the music stops and the white light moves
across the screen again. And then the video cuts out. And then the video comes back and there's a fog horn blaring in the background. And then a new message plays across the ticker. And it says something is coming through the fog avoidance gaze. Something is coming from the sea for something arising out of the waters that Deleuze brings for the life of the ocean. The lighthouse is glowing. There's a face in and then the video cuts out again with a blue photon that's reassuring
because that is as Christian given name cathedral photonic autonomy dries Oh, okay. I thought it was like Italian
Italian Hey, it was one of them oh my that's a sitcom and the fucking making Louis the the Italian God or whatever the fuck
yeah, well Yanis cousins, Tony, Tony, Tony.
Masada my oceans. Fucking love that.
Hey, you keep quiet. I will slap you with this.
I would like that too much. So Don't tempt me all the time.
As a as a analog comedy. Ooh. Ooh, there's analog.
I have Yeah, it has been, I think nobody still that it would be even more niche than analog horror, which is
already pretty fucking one viewer and it will
be dug. Yes, exactly,
as long as he enjoys it this morning. We're also then taken back to the radar screen. And you can see that the storm has basically covered the entire state of Massachusetts at this point. Good. One thing you can notice about the storm on the radar is that it's not just like a big cloud that slowly moves over the radar like a normal storm would it's kind of like sneaking and like growing and inching along. And like that's
sort of something like that. And then in the like deep in the center of the reddest part of the radar, you can see a weird shape coming out of the center that kind of looks like the eyes and the mouth from a screen mask. And then after that happens, the white light goes across the screen again and the video cuts out. This time when it comes back. We get the same intro screen as before with the
lighthouse. Except this time the lighthouse is covered in like this webby stuff that I thought at first was ectoplasm it looks like a spiderweb Oh, it kinda looks like something something very large just like Bokashi the lighthouse I
think I know.
And then the sky is also black. And the lighthouse is emitting a lavender beam which swivels around and then it points straight at the camera. And then the same face from the radar shows up briefly inside the beam. And then we get an outro screen and the tape ends
the imagery of like the lighthouse being all like wonky like that is probably one of the creepiest look at things i love it it's so cool.
I love does it make you want to fuck a fish person
a little bit? A little bit and are bad. I don't I don't remember if this is correct or not. But when the lights like going back and forth the film does it turn lavender after
a while as a lavender from the beginning. Like it's
okay. I couldn't remember if it like went lavender over time or not.
Yeah, really happy that some of these concepts are making an appearance early because like I said, I only had time to watch my four. And I watched glimpses of the others but there was one part I was very confused about and you guys talking about a lavender light is definitely making a lot
if you want to clear if you want to dope ass computer wallpaper. Go take the snapshot of that and use that because it looks fun.
Yeah, it is pretty cool. Yeah, this series does a cool job of uploading a bunch of videos that seem completely disconnected. And then just having like these concepts that just make reappearances an unlikely place.
It's a lot of fun. B
So with that said we move on to video three which is nuclear safety
that Mike's very excited
is safety get you hard Mike
always okay, I started my new job and I've gone through so much safety training so yeah, I'm into
safety work on mine because they just make it morning
we had at our my new job you they had to go through like the very basic like training for us or like oh, yeah, this is what you do during a fire. You know, it's like Look both ways. So you don't cross the fire. Yeah, exactly. And then one of them is called it's a whole like PowerPoint on ladder safety.
And I have a follow up and
during like the we had this whole orientation with like 3040 people in it and some of the other my co workers right when they got the Ladder Safety slide he's alright, now we're gonna go on to Ladder Safety. They're like you're all Ladder Safety is is just don't fall off the ladder.
So we actually just had a actually don't I'm gonna phrase this differently so as not to incriminate myself. Did you know that apparently, if you are to fall off a ladder, it is possible for you to remove all the skin on your arm, eat. There's only one way I know. Oh, I'll break HIPAA if I tell you how I know it, but I'm guessing everybody can infer what the fuck I mean. Not pretty. So yes, Ladder Safety is a fucking real thing. Follow it because I don't want to see you at work.
Okay, okay, good thing. I don't climb ladders.
Notice
you just mow lawns. Sorry, I'm so sorry, Matt, please go back talk
about less important things and Ladder Safety and go over nuclear safety but ladders definitely more important. So I'm glad that you brought up
the OSHA mandated Ladder Safety and now we're going on to the also I guess
nuclear
safety is fine black and gas. We also have to do this one.
It's part of the training guys just bear with us.
This one is not a VHS tape. As far as I can tell. This one instead appears to be significantly older than the first two videos and it's actually play a projector slideshow. So it's done in the style of like a Cold War era public service announcement. And we get instead of like, the 80s style, like slow jazz that you get on the weather station, we get like big band music playing
in the background. And then we get a screen that says, this is an official United States film property of the Massachusetts Threat Defense Group. And then the next slide is nuclear safety complete guide for the whole family. The video, then goes through several slides and indicates that people should be prepared for a nuclear attack, we get a warning signal section
of the video. And it goes over the difference between two types of warning sirens that might play to warn citizens of impending danger, the alert signal and the attack warning. So the alert signal is just used for general emergencies during peacetime. And then the attack warning is actually used to warn citizens of an impending attack on America. And we get to screens that show like that nuclear fallout symbol with the
yellow triangles inside. And it says, if you hear an attack, warning siren, head for shelter immediately. The symbol on screen denotes the location of a fallout shelter. And then we go over the effects of a nuclear bomb detonation. So what we get here is a visual depiction of a city and then a bomb detonating next to it. And we're informed there are four stages of a detonation. The first one is a flash, you get a blinding flash
of light. The second one is a heat wave, and you get a searing wave that ignites anything in its path. The blast wave is the third thing. And that is a wave carrying the sound of the explosion along with dangerous debris. And then after that, the music stuffs and we get the fourth stage. And the fourth stage is fallout. Finally, radioactive fallout drops from the explosions mushroom cloud, Fallout is one of the most deadly aspects of a nuclear explosion, and then we get a
beat. And then the music comes back. And we get instructions on what to do during an explosion include looking away immediately. That's important. And then we get my favorite part of the video, which shows like a cartoon man on the screen. And then the following very helpful bit of critical information which is at this point, heading for cover is futile. The most you can do is hope that the heat kills you before the flash then we have
the guys in like the fetal position or something I think right? Yeah.
It's like that that mean this like, like, like, try not to cry.
Cry. But hey, before you go further, I do need to touch on this. This is one of the tropes that we see over and over and over again and we usually refer to it as what the crying the three four F's crying, yep, that starts with F crying, fighting. beat down, feet down, or feet up. No feet up facing something face down. Something else. And then the last one just says kill yourself. front yard front yard face down.
ass up.
And that's as far as we're getting a fairly.
And that's the that's the way you do the diluting nuclear fallout shuffle.
Not a mouthful at all.
Next, we have the aftermath, which is not a 1996 compilation album by Dr. Dre. but is instead of a nuclear blast, which is there is no aftermath. Once the attack begins. There is no hope for survival.
Did you write that? Down or did that just come to you?
Well, okay, so as I was watching it, and then I didn't write it down.
But you're better than Mike, that's for sure. He writes down all of his jokes.
I don't write comedy. It just comes to me. I'm a genius. So then, like, as if shit hasn't gotten weird enough. This is where it actually gets weird. The video starts to explain what nuclear fallout is. But as its describing nuclear fallout, we get this illustration of the nuclear fallout, and it actually makes it look like it's some sort of living creature. There's like these three tentacle micro organisms and they it shows them seeping through a crack and a fallout shelter. And then one
eats a dude's intestines. Whoa, and that's not elaborated on at all. And then
you just deal with this information now.
What is concerning is that my V, everything is great because the next part of the video actually tells you how to prepare yourself. The videos advice on preparing yourself for that is as follows. There is no way to prepare, once it begins there is no way to stop it. And attack is inevitable. And as such one should mentally prepare for the day that it happens. Those who are ready will experience no pain in the transition. Those who aren't
will be faced with a judge. And then we have a picture of a mushroom cloud. And
it's all seems very happy it's very upbeat. Yeah.
It's very it's very portal to Yep, yeah. And then we got a picture of a mushroom cloud and instead of normal smoke and shit, it looks like it's made out of the same gooey substance that was the cockade all over the White House.
Oh yeah. Well that makes a comeback Don't worry Yeah, yeah,
come back.
Like Kim Kardashian
got it. She got come on her back Thank you man. Thank you President
video wraps up by asking the viewer to prepare neighbors and family by making sure that they're informed and then we get a brief glimpse at a title screen and it says emergency real be issued by the Massachusetts Threat Defense Group. The declassified and approved for public release in
1971. amended by the Massachusetts Threat Defense Group for use in the event of an unforeseen attack warning reel contains instructions that May and then something is whited out we just redacted don't know what that was.
Already Yeah, it'll be 20 seconds late.
In then it says Not for use outside of designated timeframe to be distributed only Upon confirmation confirmation of what who knows that's the end of the video.
Very informative. Um, so now that we are done with the nuclear threat portion pork chop sandwich is what is happening is this a Drake song? I don't know.
No, it's that fucking right when in my brain I was like, Would it be funny we just yell pork chop sandwiches. Get back from the cut
just happens in your in your brain most of the time. Like what did you want to know?
In his brain and in real life by proxy? Because Oh, it always happened. This
will take seconds to explain that's fine. Inside of my brain looks like that scene from Space Jam. When Danny DeVito is character sits on the remote and all 12 1000s of his TV. TVS turn on and it's just Looney Tunes on full blast. Flashing lights. That's my brain all the time. And it hurts a lot.
Well, honestly, if that's the case, it's a fucking miracle that more doesn't make it out. So good job, man. That mental fortitude that had to be through training or something.
I'm doing my best.
That's all it is. I'm just doing my best.
It just comes out on your Twitter's angry political rants.
He is the angry political tension. I will say that he does. He beats me every once in a while. Oh, it
was the three F's were front lawn face up feet together. Thank you under the table Gremlin bank you Yes, yes. Yes. The victory posts from local 58.
Okay, cool. Yep. So now that we're done talking about the nuclear holocaust, and how futile it is to try to do anything about it and just fucking die. We move on to a video called deep night. Its tone shifts drastically, as is tradition with most analog horror videos. This one starts off with your normal Eventide media programming shows you what's to come in the near future. And it starts off by giving this big logo. It's
called deep night. And it kinda looks like it's something to do with like something internet related. It looks like a very 80s Internet. And it says
26am. And then it gives a list of the future programs that are going to be playing the very first one. I actually thought this was a typo because I didn't know this was an actual word. It's called typography. And I thought it was typography, like typographic graphics or something like that. But no, it's called typography. And that actually refers to something called trypophobia, which is the fear of small bumps and or hormones. Yes, I think Mike has this.
Yeah, I haven't seen those images on the Internet if you're scared of those images that you have this that's bullshit those those pictures are just horrible.
No, they really are. And there was there was a picture that I saw that like if if that statement were true, I would have trypophobia but I don't think I do I just thought it was gross because they replaced some of these finger tips with the mouths of lamb praise and it was fucking horrible it looked like they had just these bumpy holes all over their fingers they just they're just fucking gross but yes so the next program we are going to be viewing is called typography after after we see
this little bulletin it like glitches a bunch and typography is the only one that stays for a while the rest kind of disappeared they like vanished come back and it cuts to a night vision camera it's a static cam it looks like it pans over a little bit and there's a just a bunch of there's these like holes like all over the ground there's not a whole lot of them in this one but they're there and the text pops up and it says the torrent Park region has seen minor increase in growth since
the last inspection of March 20 to mean somebody is surveying this area for what not really fucking sure it goes to region to region to is another it looks like another area of park or just like wildlife area. And it looks like even more holes or farming says region two is only 2.3 kilometers from torrent Park. Not sure if they are connected. Not sure what that means yet connected. I don't know why.
I would say if some freaky shits happening in both locations, the exact same the chances of that just randomly having burning device and not being connected.
Our fuel is absorbed for children's playground in two different towns. I wonder if it's connected?
No, not at all. It's just It's random. So they're wondering if it's connected so it shoots back to another region called region three and again it shows more of these holes in the ground and some vegetation and all it says that region three has had evidence of seed growth can region for something similar except this time it's that's where
the com came from.
region four says connection discovered seed growth apparent in Region Five finally it shows this like bigger open field and there's like this house in the background and it shows these eyes like these eye stalks I guess is the only way that I look like that I
bought a monster from Star Wars yes
yes the trash compactor they'll just like that if you remove the Harry skin that was all over it that's what these fucking and they're everywhere
also is seed growth just another word for like having like someone's all over this area having a trial because your seeds growing that could also
be it I'm guessing so I'm guessing this one's referring to some anomaly within the vegetation slash under the ground hence all of these ice stocks coming out of these fucking holes that are all over the ground. And I now understand why it was called typography because it's graphing out this area that had been affected by a bunch of little tiny holes and a different pattern and all of these holes seem to have something living in it
what it is we don't they look like ocular from Small Soldiers.
Oh my god yes. Holy shit Yes. Hey, Guy better name but fuck yeah that it looks like ACULA from small soldiers for sure.
Mike you say you're an idiot and then you just have like this like you dig deep and just pull out these very specific references and
like he doesn't give yourself enough credit right? Like the only reason Doug and I make fun of him so much is because he makes fun of himself and it's an easy bandwagon to hop on it is it I am
yeah he doesn't make it too easy
like the easy way it's like Thomas the tank and the X ray at nighttime oh man so many images in my head and I don't like any of them
the twin engine
for another reason I will not be sleeping tonight to horny but after so after these ice stocks are popping out of all these little holes you get the text that pops back up pauses for a bit and instead of these like long paragraphs of like status updates of these different regions all it says is Region Five growth nearly complete. And it goes right back to the fucking title screen the little Eventide media programming up next your future programming etc etc. That's the
end of the deep night video. I will say something that we did not mention yet is in the descriptions of all of these. A lot of times analog horror, you will find like extra information this one, all it has is a link to the bulletin, which is the Twitter, as well as a few other resources like Patreon and something else so you don't really have to dig too hard into the descriptions. The next one that comes up is called midnight
movie. And this this one, I think I watched this three, three solid I enjoyed
this one. It was weird, but I you I just don't
I think this is my least favorite one.
I enjoy the I enjoyed the aesthetic that it was going for.
I think it would have enjoyed it more if a little bit more happened. That's what I understand why they did what they did. And it took me again, all three fucking watch throughs to figure out why. But video five is called midnight movie. And you would think that you would see any semblance of a movie here. But I mean, technically you do you see the very end of it. You see the fucking end credits, and it rolls and you just see a bunch of names, names, names, you
don't think anything of it. Then you get to a point where they say in memoriam and they basically memorialize everybody who had who had been a part of the film, who died in 1953 to 1950 to 1953, which I'm assuming is when the movie was actually filmed. And they give this fucking list like it's it's like the entire cast. It's like the whole fucking cast. And it just says, you know, this person from you know, 1911 1953 this person 1926 and 1953. And then you find out what the name of the movie
is. And it is it's how Fuck What was the I forget the actual name, but it's essentially spiders of whatever this town is Sunday anvil or Sunday, something like that. And you realize this movies about giant spiders attacking the area that all of these videos are coming from. And you kind of put together that all of these deaths might have this this movie might not have been fiction. You know what I mean? Like all of these deaths are connected to this movie, and
they died well on the set. And it has something to do with something weird happening in this town.
It was either it's either a legitimate found footage movie where people actually got fucked up by these giant spider. Yeah. Where somebody was like, we have these giant spider. rampaging this town. Either way so much money.
giant spiders exist in this equation. And then you see a little clip at the very end attack of the Somerville spy Somerville spiders. Thank you attacking the Somerville spy, Somerville, and the very end, you see as the credits hurt and a wrap up, you see like a skull, like cracking through the background a little bit and it flashes. All while this is happening. You see, like flares popping up, which I'm assuming is like, fire or something alluding to the cleansing of
something. And you see in like a first person view in like a, like 1950s style camera and this woman it's that end of it's that fucking horror scene from 50s and 60s movies where they see something terrifying camera cuts, and you see them put a hand up and they scream. And then that's it. And that's the entirety of this last clip, but it's first person and you see whoever is holding the camera like looking eye to eye with
this fucking eye to eyes. Thank you to say that because they have eight of them.
With this giant s Hydra I just Eye to Eye to Eye to Eye to Eye to eye to see I was gonna
save our listeners from that, but my pet like doesn't care. Um, but yeah, she sees this thing, just like destroying the last of this town screams and lunges towards her. And that's about it. And we I mean, like I tried looking through the names to try and pick up on something that had to do with anything here and I really couldn't find anything. So that's the entirety of midnight movie. It's a fun one confused the show me for a little bit.
But the next one is one of my favorites is called City Council.
I love the city council one.
Yes, it's it's so it opens up just like your normal Eventide media would. And you get the Eventide media and this is our city council meeting. And it shows the city council chamber and it shows these censored people sitting around the view called City Council Chambers, I guess. The chamber table Yeah, something terrible.
That sounds good. They're all sitting around it and the mayor speaks up and says okay, we You're going to in this meeting, we're gonna go over some resource allocation and they put up this pie graph and immediately I'm like, something's off here some Fuck yeah. Because 58% of this town's budget is reserved for something just under the title of excavation what
what do you word might word digging down here
they just dig dig, dig dig, I guess.
If you don't got a shovel Yeah, you know, man in this town. And so
they they go over the resource allocation, they show that 58% is going to excavation and the rest is being divvied up among the towns like so like the churches, the firehouse, whatever. Um, after he gets done, going over these facts and figures, he asks if anyone else has anything to say about this, to which a priest from the Church of Gosford pipes up
what a dope as name for the town seriously Goffs for
Yep. He says he wants to relocate the project for several reasons. And he goes over those reasons but then he gives the real reason and that is this project goes against the will of God.
The will of God does. Fire and Brimstone like is a very US centric priest.
You're just doing fucking feature bought from Futurama. Yes, God, we need somebody else on the show that can do compressions because I fucking can't Well, I'll just do that the whole time. Yeah, he's obviously he's nailing them on top of rebar and rips on anyway. So this, this priest from the Church of gas food, he was relocated dishes, and he's like he's ranting and raving. And all of a sudden he just hits CUT THE FUCK OFF and the mayor is like,
okay, yeah, that's fine. Anyway, now let's hear from like the foreman, the person who's in charge of this whole thing. They're gonna give us an update on the excavation. And they go well, it's going pretty well. We're gonna need more money, we're gonna need more money. We're digging a lot more than we
thought. And they're also we understand the church is asking for some reparations and some payment for some like last last this last that basically they've been digging on church property and they want money to help repay that they completely blow over that and say the businesses in town will definitely get money but you want and then they're like
let's reduce education to Yeah,
we can even we can even pay for this by making our kids dumber and making sure there's not enough you know, education budget here.
Welcome to Costco. I love you, Brando.
So he's given this update and he goes, Yes, everything's going well, we're expanding and I we do have a very large update here. And he says, These are our findings as of recent apparently, what they found was a glowing beating Purple Heart. In their excavation. It's, you see like these this like white ish purple is glowing light throughout the entirety of a lot of these videos. Now you're actually seeing what it is. And it's very, very, very what it is
what that is. It's legitimately it's it looks like it looks something just right out of d&d, like an arcane beating heart or some shit. It's purple, it's glowing, and it's just throbbing with energy. And as this happened, they started talking about it and he the mayor gets cut the fuck off. And that's when you see the middle of this room erupt into Earth and something huge shoot out of it, and then the fucking video cuts out and it goes, is it bad that I laugh? Oh, dude, I laughed my
ass off when I saw that. I did not expect it at all. And I thought it was the best fucking thing. So yes, we're on the same page here. If that happens, it cuts to this scene of like, the mountain side with some trees there's some fog and then something gets up and when I say gets up it means it stands up above the trees of fuck up in the mountains and it was not first I'm assuming whatever this was did it all for the Knuckey as well. But I don't know what it
was. It looks like it looks like a robot or like some kind of giant humanoid or something but doesn't really go over it. And then it just hard.
Looks like Enderman from Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll link ESR
or super dark white eyes. Yeah, I can see that. Like yeah, but that's the end of that video. Um, the very last video I have to go over is a video So called computer graphics. And this, this is a fun little bit.
I like this one a lot. It's nice little instructional
it shows you the parts of your motherboard, it shows you how computers work in a very, very dumbed down fashion. And it breaks it up into these little
segments. So you're gonna see the Eventide media logo pop up, and it's gonna start going over the inside the the like, how to how to produce computer graphics, and it tells you that this is like a demo video for Fuck What was the name of the it was actually the fucking company doesn't matter at all in this one, which is weird because most bloggers do Thursday nights like innerspace or something like that. And it says, this is a demo video for interspace
graphics. And it's goes over animation and visual effects. Now, I want all of you I know this might seem very trivial, but I want all of you to pay attention to interface
vision interface, very close interface visions. Dope logo, though
it is I like it. I want everybody to pay attention to the numbers on this one numbers names, mostly because this is very subtle, and I was actually very confused as to why this was part of the series for a second was waving. Yeah, he needs the moral support and it's not looking great. So this first part is called animation visual effects. And it shows examples of like computer graphics for like, like 1990 and earlier states that all of these graphics come from the visions
and dreams of employees. That phrasing is very, very, very important. visions and dreams. So it shows a couple of different like models and shows three separate ones. Okay. The second one goes over the actual models. And these are like people like it's like it's video game graphics from the 90s of people. Now these ones it shows
three separate models. It shows Bill Reid shows Steve Harriet, and it shows Joe gates Berg now those three names are all people that work for this company and all people that have participated in worked on this project, especially when making this video that's that's number three, right? Yeah, three for everything. 333 the very end of this video it mentions a memorial for your name. Either way, it sounds like it's either Joe Gaisberg sister or wife one of the two same last name him or
her actual name. Um, I'll look it up for you. It's not a huge it's not like recurring look at me doing Jason's work for Thanks, Mike. Welcome, he loves you longtime me love your long term. So that that right there is essentially the end of the video it shows the different graphics and these different computer models. Now there's three actual models the bill read model, the Steve Harriet model and the Joe gates bring them up.
Now, it also shows models of like, the models that they made on the very first event that they took from like real life is like a piano with like, yes, there's a piano, there's a rose rose. And it's like, the things that you see like how they're like constructed is like it's nothing but like, you know, the little like, I guess it's the current pieces from a microchip the golden pieces. The pins, not the pins, but it's like the sharp like the long.
Yeah, the only move. Yeah, you know, I mean, the things that plug into the motherboard. No, it's you know how motherboard is green. And then you see all those bold lines that's what they're saying. It's made of like you see a flower with like the circuitry going in is it's like the roots. Yes, exactly. You see a computer with like this weird stick in the back and just falls out.
Yes, piano also has circuitry and strings are
the word fucking circuitry. And
over here we attention that circuitry because it pops up right now. The very end of this. It shows four beds, like plugged into the motherboard.
Did you also mentioned how the ball no the modelers like their their models are a fucked up.
So hold on. So it shows these four beds plugged into the motherboard right at the very beginning. One of the first models that you see is this golf ball rolling like along this plane and it rolls down these columns and it ends up at a cross kind of signal signifying a grave marker. That's one of the models. Another model is a piano. Another model is a rose. There are four beds sitting in this motherboard. There were three human models At the very end
343 Halo six confirm mail.
We did it at the very end. It says in memoriam for whoever it is Gainsbourg either Joe's wife or sister. And then it says dreams become reality. So when I first watched through this, it didn't hit me. Madison gates, Madison gates Berg, thank you. Gates book. What happened to that fourth person? There were four beds. I don't know. There's three models. Three models, three models. Well, they did memoriam now let's go back to that fucking tagline. Your dreams for beds in the mother in
the motherboard, right? become reality. Which means now one person's dead beans.
So did dedicates bird dream that his wife was going to be dead.
And then I think this company made it happen.
Interesting. So extreme VR.
This one was a this one was a fun one. I didn't think that it was going to be this like, intense. Did
you go over the fucked up faces? Yeah, they
have all the actual models,
models. They're like these are models sculpted. First ones fine. They're like that one even is kind of fucked up. They're not as bad as last one. They're like these models are sculpted in like exact detail as to what these people look like in real life. And you got these three people there. And their models have like these like microchips coming out of their heads they got like circuitry coming out of
the back of their head. They're like Jaws all fucked up and has like circuitry in it and everything I got from this. Personally, I don't know about you guys, but this video I took away that the world that we know it as is kind of like a giant microchip or something because they add all the trees and everything with all this circus simulation.
That's what I got. I thought like some like daddy's like a bird was just plugging all these people into the metaverse because they have like they have shit plugged into the back of their heads and then at one point it shows a CRT monitor and it's also got a thing plugged into the back of it yeah as if like this tubing them together
yeah I'm I am I'm on board with the matrix theory for sure.
You know what I'm on board with Dr. Dick my videos
oh yeah go ahead man we're I know with all mine
you were in the final three
so you're it's like you're trying to generate hype and then you're stopping right before the hype build up and my my fucking Jimmy's get rustled and then you just fucking stop
thinking my, I think my go to like comedy style is build build build. Gillette down blue ball.
You are the comedic version of blue balls is what you're telling us.
I was like listening to past episodes. I do that a lot. I think that's just naturally I'm just a blue ball.
I mean, it's funny, but also in the moment are like,
Fuck the word. Don't Are you afraid of Sardis I suck.
Are you one of those people that are just like afraid of succeeding in anything? So you just sabotage yourself at the last moment? Oh, like
3,000% You should see what goes on behind the seat. Well, you know. Anyway, so the next video is called the Oasis greenhouse. This was brought to you to you by the botanical foundation of Massachusetts. Remember Massachusetts?
Anyway? Do remember Massachusetts, they
show you a bunch of fucking flowers like they show you a hydrangea. And it gives you a little bit of like detail on the hydrangea. It's like you know the heights like two millimeters. The origins from Japan. The use is transferable reproduction cells
and reproduction cells. Bokashi it's all coming together.
fancy word for Buka.
They show you other ones like a high biscuits for example. And it gives you more information like it's from Malaysia. Its use is external stamen and nectar. That's fun. And then you go into like tropical plants.
Oh, am I supposed to care about?
Okay, we go into tropical plants. Next like we got the Roy Estonia. This guy is 16 meters long. Jason. He's a big boy. He's from the Virgin Islands. Its use is the oversized palm leafs.
Oh, yeah,
we get another one but it can grow to be 11 meters tall looks like a bunch of bananas. It's from India. It's use oversized stalks and routes. The most exciting thing we start to go into now we were in tropical but now we're going into Saudi with
a Chance of Meatballs were shit just cheeseburger. Burger.
We're going into subtropical plants now though, so don't worry about it. We were in tropical notes. It's better to give meaning. Yeah, so we're looking at now we have the head area helix, its height variable, its origins Ireland. Its use predatory tendrils. The what next is the dye injera, which you might know as the venus flytrap. Its height is point five meters. Its origin is the United States its use, you might ask, base genetic code and carnivorous tendencies.
Base genetic code.
Next up, Jason is a fun flower that you might love. moot. No, you might know what this one looks like. I will show Jason the visual. This one is called the valveless con. Kick to kick to.
You're doing great,
thank you. It is one meter tall. Its origin is Eventide Valley. Oh, and it's use digestive fluids a meter tall. digestive fluids. For those of you that digestive cysts. The plant is just a big tummy. It's a stomach. It's the intestines. It's
fucking intestines and fucking throat and it was
one that was like stinky flip plants on the top. Yeah,
those nip stinky plants.
JASON Yeah. You might know where this one's going. The next one is called the Botha Sarah Brewer. Sarah. This one is also rain. Oh, these are local in nervousness. Yeah, this is local while this is local wildlife. Yeah. Fonterra yeah the Botha cerebral is this
related to the Permian Basin wildlife and fauna or is this something
completes height is one meter. So it's the brainstem? Its origin isn't even tied Valley. Its use consciousness.
So the brainstem and brain it is the brainstem in the brain. It's just a big brain on a swing. Is this a game show? No. Yes. And that you're failing? I'm winning. Yeah.
I've been Doctor 15
It shows us all this. And we got some glitching out and we get this like handheld video of a giant ass fuckin venus flytrap just bustin out of what looks like a like university. Kind of and then it glitches and we're done. You get the I thought it was a house. It wasn't like university visor. It might have been a hospital. Either way, it's a big big ass venus flytrap. I'm talking like fucking 50 feet tall. Let's do boy. Next, we have the video fire danger. It is brought to us
by the company power. This was fucked up and the chainsaw. Oh, that's fun. So it is also brought to us by the ash and field Department of Natural Resources which if you didn't know ash and field is next to even tide Valley they're all counties next to each other which is nice. Yeah, so
that's probably sounds like a great vacation
spot was wonderful. It's one of those like news and that was the news bulletins, but like it's one of those old like news style things were it's a message from the County Fire Department. This takes place on July 23 of 1979 at 5:33pm It lets you know
35pm a controlled burn will occur at the junction of Cr 32 and ash and field bypass be prepared for possible detours when traveling and we get this little meter throughout this entire video we get this meter that shows like like fire danger basically in its like low moderate it's here yeah we fuck basically that's the
I've seen that meter before Gail Park signs and stuff.
Yeah, and that was just like on the side of the road.
It was just chilling there in California
it's just it's there throughout the entire video It's starting now it's unloaded. It is not even there. There's no fire danger at all don't even fucking worry about it but
in a little bit just toss your cigarettes it Yeah,
just just go crazy. We're moist around here. We're fine. Everyone worries everyone's slippery no one's gonna get on fire you're fine. So you start to see this. This ticker kind of slowly keep making its way from low to like moderate up to like high and too extreme over the course of the entire video and you can see it keep ticking you
know from low to moderate. Once we get to like moderate and everything you get another message from the County Fire Department that says a controlled burn is currently in process progress. That was not participating. You know I can mute you anytime. Those not participating.
That's the fun thing. You can't anymore.
That's true. I don't have power.
He's he has the same power as you do
true. Those not participating are required by law to seek shelter immediately. Right now, right now. So GET THE FUCK inside you do Pfister do a controlled burn.
Stop shitting get inside I don't know why you nevermind
Are you shitting outside
that's yep that's a good question
because it because it's so moist
you never have to wipe it just naturally clean any way this just keeps going from moderate to like high we're like the high category yeah
we are the high like fire risk of JSON of a murdering everybody for talking about what slot so now,
now it says controlled burn is now classified as a high hazard wildfire fireline currently heading toward ash and field bypass and Grove Creek. This is taking place at 338 the control fire started three minutes ago. They've already lost control of this controlled fire. It took them three minutes to go from a low to a high grade fire. Jack jamming Yeah, they fucked up.
Amen. This is who we are controlled burns and firesafety next we're
getting into like the you the danger category. We're before we say hi now it's like bog that's where we're at now. It wasn't the actual like yes,
it's a wooden fry. It's medium high. Oh,
it wasn't being read to deep Maroon Five. You know, like we're right there. And now it says if you're capable, any and all citizens love god damn it if you're capable, any and all citizens of Ashfield must report to a local fire station. Immediately. We get cut away. And we get this like raging forest fire and it's like a news like It's like one of those like helicopter things where they're in the helicopter in the news and like it's me chat you bet show with the news. I'm loving
chopper. I've been chopper seven. And it's like, do this bird this control burn got out of hand. shits fucked up right now. And then you see this giant fucking thing in the fire. It's like this huge, kind of similar to your big old creature thing and the let your your episode, but it's got more like 10 like arms and kind of looks like a mix between a person and a spider.
It looks like it's grown up a little bit. Yeah. Almost like the first part was possibly the pupil stache larval stage.
Yep. And then it cuts away. And we're done with that one. Yep, all you get is as big as this guy.
We were almost about to learn something to not today.
We're onto the last episode now boys and girls. Jason.
I know I don't I don't know what to expect. We're fucking 73 episodes deep. Hasn't happened. I haven't learned a single thing yet.
You decided to bring me on. You didn't have to you and Doug were like, who should we bring in? You had every option in the book and you chose this.
You're an easy target. You make a good punching bag,
or like we need someone to bully.
I'm not going to admit that on there. I'll just so here
we go. Last video. It's called the week ahead. And you get like a calendar update of like the week and what's coming. It's Monday, September 22. Now, the week ahead for the the new Twilight. That's what they call the new Twilight. And we have things coming up like on the 22nd There's like a Monday Festival on the 24th are called
Monday festival. Please tell me it's
just the Monday festival. I'll get into it. Well, the 24th There's a city council meeting on the 26th There's a triathlon 27th There's autumn parade, and on the 28th there is a twice try light art show the tryline art show.
I'm guessing all of that has to do in trypophobia
I don't know it also does take place on Channel 33 as well. So there's channel seven no channel 33. The festival the money festival begins at 9pm tonight on Main Street. Parking is available at the sky park. Recreation Center lots. The closing ceremony ceremony begins at 10pm and all festivities promptly end at 11pm. And then we get some like glitches and everything and we get this weird like it kind of looks like my spidery thing is just like chillin now like it's relaxed.
It's kind of like hunker down like you're I'll show you a picture. It kind of looks like the the giant thing you burn at Burning Man.
Looks like the Burning Man.
It looks at the Burning Man before you light it on fire. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then,
you know, we don't get too much more going on. We get like glimpses into this like supermarket called delta, which their logo is a triangle try ha. And then we see what's happening today. Today is Friday. And we have the Friday events going on. They're going on all day. Jason, do you wonder what the tri day events are?
It sounds like they're thrown during a party for these fucking things a
try day events Jason
I'm I'm not the only one here
but you're the one that's interrupting me the most I'm gonna keep doing
the lecturing
or I'll put you outside with chiefs so the Friday event
just I was gonna take dogs body with me but I could just leave it here no one else can deal with that was corpse smells Well, I'm talking that way I'm leaving
Elene here
so the try day events begin between 12am and 5am remain in bed by 3pm in all clear will be given over the tri light local alert system remember to remove all instances of the number three in your place of residence. Well remember
Oh, a three you
know there's so many threes around here.
Like you know how fucking difficult it would be like yeah, how do you go every single three just like think about if you have magazines
or throw
just instruction manuals for random old shit that you have land in a trunk? a junk drawer somewhere not just
that but like if is it just the number three or like things in threes? Like if I have three paper towel rolls left in my house? Do I have to do one away? Or do I add another or am I okay? If I have three ounces of note Daniels low Am I fine?
You have anyway you have to have less
so anything that is like could be divided into units of three oh so have fun with that
as abilities What Am I cute so this is where the number 20 the movie The number 23 was stemmed from was somebody who lost their fucking shit over the number three or something i
beans we get some glitchy stuff that goes on and then we get like this sky this camera that's shooting up in the sky and it shows six of these like lavender diamonds floating in the sky it's it's the it's the Forever gems and these things are just
the longtime rock there's one way to remove all of the tension at war
he's got the six longtime rock
there it is. That's got the longtime rocks EVERYBODY RUN
Thanos is acquired two out of the six long time rocks what do we do
reality Reality somewhere has that look for
members so make art of like a shitty mitten with six longtime rocks take anyway send it to the delivery pod somewhere anyway but yeah it's like it kind of resembles you know the Phoenix lights yeah kinda resembles that a little bit
the triangle pattern and not even the triangle pattern
it just the way it's shot and everything.
Oh, God had a look. Oh yeah. Okay.
We then get a cut to a card that says a temporal interruption has occurred at station site for one dash 93139 comma negative seven 0.93890 We're
not in an SCP reading. We don't need well I
had to do that. Okay. And then we get like this this video of someone's house and in his house of shows like his bed with his like nightstand. And then his nightstand. We see it was in the sand and we see like another like camera angle of his kitchen. And then it flashes to the kitchen. You see these like lights happening? little subtle lights and then it flashes back to the nightstand. The nightstand drawer like opens up and then flashes back to the
kitchen. The kitchen like cabinets open and the lavender. Diamonds are coming into the kitchen. They look
like Sims plumb Bob's but then
they looked at they looked at the arrows over the Sims. Yeah. And then it shows like the clock and
I need to stop. Yeah. Are those called plumb Bob's is what they're called. Bob.
They're called plumb bob lumbus
I see I understand more about what love is. I don't know. I'm sorry. It's just stopped the whole thing here, but
we learned something on the Lutie. Hey,
we fucking figured it out this type of operational podcast we do Oh,
but these things, I'm gonna just stop you there. This is probably my favorite bit because I don't know how he like, made these effects. But they reminded me a lot of poltergeist that the scene that happens, you see like, his clock gets taken over by like this yellow, this purple, like tenderly looking like electricity. And it looks like how in the 80s when they would make like the lightning effect, like how the hand drawl and everything, and it looked like that and I fucking love that
effect. It's so beautiful. So well done. It looks fucking great. Aidan check. fucking fantastic my God. It's fucking beautiful. And then it glitches out
love the style of a lot of this. Me too. Yeah, every
everything looks hand drawn. And that's why I think I like the most about it. It's beautiful.
It's unsettling. Something about it is like like this is more it's more unsettling in a way that isn't just like the typical like grainy footage, found footage way that analog core is like something about the effects. And the art style itself is like uncanny valley. Style unsettled.
Yeah, I have one more panel to read. And that's it. The last thing we see before the video cuts away is the try day events have now concluded, please return to your everyday schedule. normal programming will resume Tuesday, September 24. Thank you have a great triad. And that's the end of eventide. Thanks. It was nice. There was that that's the end of even. Um, wow. Wow.
I hope you guys were following along at home
I enjoyed even title a lot. Same.
I mean, I love all analog horror. So
I we're gonna get into like something here at the end. We're at the end. Where I think moot here. Real quick, I just want you to briefly mentioned what you did before, because we're almost out of time here. You mentioned before, I didn't know that these were all kind of like coherent. And you're like, what's the overarching story, you seem to have a pretty solid theory on what's going on?
Well, I mean, what I was alluding to in the beginning was more than just like it. I like the way that it that it has like all of the entries are just seemingly completely disjointed in ways like they're even in different locations and stuff. But there are things that make reappearances throughout the videos like the jazzy looking spiderweb stuff
up there. Oh, shit. And thank you for saying that. I'm so sorry to cut you off here. In the fifth video you saw or the whatever the video was with the midnight movie. You see a flash of like this hole that's full of that, like the spider webby spider will become is just everywhere in the vet in. So that's, that's one of the recurring things happens here.
Yeah, yeah. And like the number three appears a couple of times, like in Jason's video with the computer graphics and the burning and stuff like that. But as far as theory goes, I initially thought this was just it's archival footage from the Eventide Media Center, which is like a library. And these are just VHS tapes of random shit that's happened in the Eventide Valley's history that somebody has just dug up from the
archives. And there's something about the area that leads to these sorts of strange occurrences. My theory was that there's some sort of living creature underground. Like the all this whole valley seems to be built on top of some sort of interdimensional being or something that is under the soil. But talking about the computer graphics, video earlier actually got me thinking about what if Mike's theory is at least partially right? Because the none of the like Eventide
Valley doesn't exist. If you go to a map of Massachusetts like this, this place doesn't actually exist, these towns don't exist. So what if these are towns in Massachusetts that actually exist in some sort of Metaverse, and there's weird shit going on? Yeah, because anything is possible. Oh, absolutely. Zach land.
I hope that's what you call it this amusement park.
Can you imagine the fucking horrors are going to come out of the metaverse. One could only hope if if big giant if the metaverse actually makes it to like the public, like a wide array of the public. If it's something like the internet, then yes, if it's something like going to space then no, because it's reserved for only the few the far between the elite and those that were chosen to have more money than us so we also
have confirmation from discord from someone who lives in Massachusetts various various, they were able to confirm Eventide do not real
eloquent of ways.
Yeah, I mean, again, in check, he has a Twitter Eventide Twitter, it's kinda like a bulletin board. There's not a whole heck of a lot of extra information there. But you do get some extra fun like, images and bulletins there. Again, if you're looking for some fun, like wallpapers and stuff, this dude makes such fun. I fucking love I don't know if he's conditioning someone to make it himself, but it's fucking awesome. And
honestly, I just want anything analog horror related. I've already started buying merch that's related to like, creepy weird episodes. I'm wearing my Bolivia shirt right now. There's a whole merch store for this. There is an iTunes I ordered a couple of stickers.
You know, there's another merch store that you can find in a free.com/diluting pot.
Oh man, the bird scooters are flowing
linktree.com/delivery pod you can find everything there including our merch store. We still have to update it to add the flag. We are still I'm sorry if we haven't reached out to you yet. Alexandria, you will be getting your free flag. We've just been so busy. I started a new job. I've been super exhausted and busy and I usually take care of that stuff. I'm sorry. I
have excuses.
I do have excuses. Moodstruck Hey,
Matt. These are these are your excuses to now.
Problems can be used as my bro
I will reach out to you if you're listening. Zack slash pack slash limited ambition. Yeah. If she's not listening, let her know I will reach out to you guys soon. And make sure I get you your flag. It's just taking me a minute because of all the shit I have going on my life right now. You will get it we will get the flag and the shirt for dead under space, our Discord space all your horse. We will get your submission up there as a shirt as well. And we'll contact you to let you
know we do it as well. I just have a lot going on. I'm getting to it. I'm sorry. It's taking us a while
yeah, we all have there's a lot of things happening Doug's not around right now. Mike's going through a new job change. I mean, I've just I'm, I still work as a surgical tech. Busy all the fucking
time I got off a 10 hour shift and then just basically went right down to the basement to do this. I watched him eat party. So there's a lot going on that I'm getting to I just have a lot on the back burner. So I'll get there eventually, I promise. Hopefully by the time this comes out, I have already either a message you or will be reminded to message you because think tree.com/delete body find
our links for everything. We're deleting pod or don't look into the internet everywhere, especially YouTube, go to our YouTube page that is bussen. If you want to promote us the best right now that is one of the best ways you can do it. Yes, along with giving us five star reviews, or any type of review on Spotify. Right now Spotify algorithm is like perfect for people in our situation.
I think it just has to do with whoever's writing the descriptions of the episodes and posting up to Buzzsprout so when they get posts Yes, CRR says yes might hit all the topics people are searching maybe that could have something to do with.
Thank you, dog.
Wow.
But yeah, our links are everywhere in the link tree go there you'll find everything again. linktree.com says to Louis pod patreon.com/to Louis pod by me coffee.com/pod pod but let's be real. It's gonna be fun. If you want to keep up to date with our merch again, that's in the link tree. And I think that covers just about all of it. One more time. Lane tree.com/delivery pod. If you want to send us a text or voicemail, you can go to our
Google phone number. We will play voicemails on air we will respond to text we always do that phone number is 63090993661 more time that is 630-909-9366. That's about that.
Yeah, I can't think of it as this.
Moody moody. Moody patootie you got anything for the beautiful people but do do
continue existing. Thanks for having me. Let you know let them know how you felt about this episode. Did you like me hanging out? If you want to hear more of this when one of the regular three chuckle fucks isn't around if you don't tell them that too, because I'm not gonna be able to see those messages so you know, insult away. And
also would you like to hear hear Matt on an episode in person with us because that's something that we could possibly talk about make happening.
Or that too? Yeah. And I'm gonna plug it shameless plug buck if you like me a lot and you want to hear a lot from me and my longtime good friend Chris, head over to unplanned pregnancy.com or search an unplanned pregnancy on any podcast platform and you'll find me and my friend Chris talking about some random shit every Thursday I'm a bucket oh god we're gonna have everybody likes the fucking no duck is I'm not gonna lie only team best
No no, I said that on purpose. I'm Team basket. Thank you two buckets they're not like if we have like two minutes I'm going to destroy buckets or ugly baskets that's it everything else because they're ornate they're nice you can't put a bucket in like the fucking bathroom and put like flowers in it or something. You can you
can but you have like a farm chic thing.
14 basket over here I'm sorry Chris. Fuck you.
I will send us
good good good. If you guys would like to hear more crossover nonsense please again like like Matt said let us know. We have a lot in store in the future a fucking lot in store in the future. But the biggest thing that I want to leave you with is as always, fucking guys
stay paranoid. If you see a cluster of holes outside in your backyard that was not a random wildlife animal digging you should definitely venture down in and tell me what's what's down there but but remain paranoid while you do so.
If you do and you live to tell about or go tell the story let us know
closest go go to Starbucks whoever's in line in front of you hug them
wow that's what also the people he's trying
like a Weekend at Bernie's,
I would say yes I do think does was actually just that was great. Thank you for having that was so convincing. Do weird. Alright everybody. Thank you. We love you. We will see you next fucking week. Yeah,