Don't look I am law. I'm burger town. Speaking of burgers when Laurie and I, when we were in Salem, we went to this place called Bitbar. And they had burger burger burger at burger time. And that's like one of my favorite arcade games. It's so yeah, yeah, fun to play.
But when were you like going down the ladders? Yeah. And
you have to shoot pepper wieners Yeah.
My favorite shit shooting peppers that winners forgot
about that fucking game.
Yeah, it's it's a good ass time. All in all very awesome. And I have some stories from my honeymoon that I will be. Bring sharing, sharing as well. Yeah.
Well, welcome back, Mike.
Hi. Yes, it is also
no, I'm not Mike. Oh, well, hold on. We'll get into who you are in just a second. But welcome, everybody. To dont look under the internet. Two points, Episode 2.0. because 1.0 re listening though. Steve Jobs just took it from the like, he came back from the grave to take the fucking episode away from us listener
episodes to electric. Listen, listen.
Yeah. Welcome, everybody. In the studio, we have Doug.
All right. You caught a mid y'all. Or he's trying to see or there it is.
That's done. Oh, hey,
let's see my sweet potato. Mic. I'm not Mike.
Okay. We have somebody else.
Richard.
Bette Davis.
Bring me Agnew. I need to see Agnew.
And I'm Jason,
I need to kiss him on his lips.
Today, we have a very special episode for all of you. We've tried to do this one. So the universe said no. So here is attempt number two at our listener episode, and
I am here for it this time, unlike last time, so actually, it's worked out pretty well for me. Not gonna lie. No. Yeah, I get to hear some creepy stories that I wasn't able to hear before.
Honestly, what the fuck? were we thinking? Trying to do this without mic? That's honestly the reason that's probably the reason why we couldn't get it to fucking Well, I
am kind of curse now. I think so that might have been my problem. I think he
cursed us prior to leaving. And that's why we couldn't record because he wanted that to happen.
But soundbar Yeah, but I mean, another nice thing is we get to shout out our patrons again, and add on a couple more. Yeah, yeah. So that's pretty fucking almost double the list. Yeah, so we have quite a few and as penance for us, and I don't, I wouldn't say penance but little blessing for you guys. We're gonna spend a little like not extra time, but, um, every single one of us gonna get a nice little thing for me. So that is not how you spell my mother's name. But I don't care.
You get that? And I hate I hate I hate. We're going back to my mom later. Well, we
can let you think your own mother. Thank you.
Better stop. John. John. Janine, June. June Nene. Anyway, so let's get on the list. Boys. What do we got? First up?
We have good job.
Yes, that. Yeah.
The first one's your mother though.
Alright, fine.
Do you want to do it? I can do it. Or do you want Doug to do it? No,
thank you, mother. That's very kind of you to give us $5 And it's funny because I just listened to an episode. I think it was local 58 We're like, man, her parents don't support us.
As soon as I saw her patronage, that's the exact moment that I thought about. I was like, I hope it wasn't a dick because that was total sarcasm.
My I messaged my mother on the thing and I'm like, Hey, thank you, mother. Super swell. And then she texts me like I didn't see anything. She's like, Oh, I'm giving you $5 a month. I it's only $5 So whatever. I'm like, Yeah, I messaged you. I know. Thank you very much. Yeah, we saw and you're not allowed to comment on my mother. No, piss off. We also have I'm sorry, go down the list boys. So
we also have a good buddy. Two good buddies of mine that are giving to the the patronage, which we're super, super happy about. The first one being a work friend of mine named Justin.
Justin, Dexter. You sir. Your last your last name on there is a killer. Yep, yeah, yeah. Solid is also the name of my old Great Dane. He's a good boy. And just just not sure you're just as good a boy, not more.
He is a great boy, this boy will give you so many pets. Yeah,
I'll give you a biscuit. I'll pet you. I'll rub your tummy.
This is going into the thing that we don't want.
And then the other one is someone that you guys have actually heard on an episode of ours. My roommate Ryan, how you Ryan? Thank you, sir. You are we love you and you're such
a good boy. He was on our cars. First I'll go listen and hear his beautiful voice because, boy is he like, unintentionally funny in that because the entire time you guys are like, this takes place in a dream and he's like, the Hold on now. Is that real? That's what's real. And you're like, nothing. It's all a dream. He's like, but what about the monkeys in the trees? You know? All the dream dream? What about their planes?
It's all a dream. I think at one point, I was like, Okay, if it's a thing, like if it's a thing in existence, not real, not real. And he was like,
Hold on. Okay, but what about
he actually asked me personally, if we could just negate him from that whole episode. Fuck no. And Ryan, we
love you too much to do that we do. We also have one of the cooler names like they have heard. Zane graves.
Is that like graves as a last name is amazing.
Yeah, you sound Yeah. You sound like a magician that goes on after what the Mindfreak what's his name of Criss? Angel. Yeah, I'm saying graves and I'm gonna levitate in front of you. And it's like, wow. So thank you, also Zayn. Jason, would you like to shout one I would
love to. I'm actually I'm happy that we're the only silver lining to us fucking up the last episode was Ashley. Thank you so much for upgrading your Yeah,
I just saw that today. Yeah. Sweet of you.
Yes. You may not have been 20. But you know, you're 20 in our hearts. Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. I mean, she
was very sweet. She came in as a $2 and bumped up to five and I think you might various of the bonus content. Maybe you're a very thoughtful person. And I appreciate that. Ashley.
Yeah. You are fantastic. So thank you so much for giving us your patronage. We don't deserve it. But we have Why do we have it now?
And then who's our final pitch pitch on our final patron?
It's Connor
Connor REM linger, which is kind of also kind of a cool. Sounds like one. Well, the first,
my 50 Riplinger. Well,
the first name is spelled with spelled with a K which I don't think I've ever seen. I've seen
it a couple times. I think dirname calm I think Superman's son, Connor Clark is spelled with a K as well. Oh, wow. So because it's supposed to be a play on Kal El, which is where the K I think don't quote me on that. Car. That's that's all of them, though.
Thank you. Superman son. Yeah,
thank you.
But if we missed you, yell at us. I
go. Thank you, Justin. Thank you saying thank you, Ryan. Thank you, Ashley. Thank you, Connor. And hi, mom.
Thank you, mom.
I'm on. I'm gonna show me.
Um, you all are really awesome. And everyone that gives us really awesome we we hit our 20 patron goal what we can have to know like three weeks ago. Yeah.
No, anymore.
We're actually well over. Yeah, we're 25
Yeah, yeah. And that was three weeks ago, we hit that and that was incredible. And we got nothing to do but go up. And it's all thanks to you guys. Thank you very much. Yep. Um, with listeners like you. You keep this show going. You keep us going and being drunk. Yeah, honestly,
you keep my liver being upset. Yeah.
But thank you so much. If anyone else listening wants to, you know, chuck in $2 a month it's patreon.com/deluded bot so
yeah, thank you so much for that. I will say though the $5 tier is kind of where it's at right now just because every episode release you're going to be getting a nother episode on top of that. So if you double the content and get your dollar
to dollar to get you a shout out $5 gets you all the bonus content on there plus a
sticker.
You get to hear us get wasted and then talk and not remember most of the things we talked
about right? Yeah, it's it's a new experience every time I edit those episodes, I'm like what the fuck
it's like I'm talking to a completely different person.
I usually wait like a week or two to listen to the bonus so I have like a couple to listen to and I'm like holy shit I am. Whoo. Oh did not need to say those things.
A little bit more of duty housekeeping. I just want to give an update real quick. Good dear friend of the show here Nicole because she's helped us out with so much stuff sent us pictures of her stuff much and everything turned out good. We do want to give an update though that when if you do have printing issues we have been talking to Teespring it does seem like you guys unfortunately we'll have to do most of the contacting with them.
Yes, but still basically what they said to me because I was the one in contact with them. I was like, Hey, I had one order mess up. I'd like to get this corrected. I'd like to get out New whatever is they were out to the people per Teespring privacy policy. We cannot do that because we cannot know your order numbers, we cannot know your history, we can address etc. They will not let us help you. Which is unfortunate. But also, they seemed like they're
very willing to work. Yeah, things are messed up.
You were talking to like, set. I was watching emails, yes. Like, oh, Jennifer up to this up to her boss. And yeah, he got directed over here to help out, can you guys do something to help these people and they seem like they're very proactive about it. But I was still will say if for whatever reason you get something that is messed up, or it's not what you expected, please still let us know. Because we're obviously this is
our first merch shop. And if this kind of thing keeps happening, we're gonna think of going to a different shop. So please, if you still have issues, you know, keep sending us the pictures, keep letting us know if there's any issues because we want to make sure it gets fixed. And it
does seem like this was like a one time printing error. Because somebody else bought the same thing after I took it off the shop. Nicole, that's what Yeah, then yes. That's, everything's good. Yeah. And so
please keep us in the loop with everything. If something again is not to your quality, please let us know. Because we will do everything in our power. I know, it's probably not much, but we still will do everything in our power to make it right. Even if that means like if Teespring gives you, you know, a hard time with like a refund or something and it's obviously you deserve one. We will still help reimburse you. So yeah, well, we'll get back to our Yeah, yes,
we will. Yeah, so that's I think the last bit of duty business.
I think so
the housework what is it called? House housekeeping. Thank
you business adjourned
business. Q Can you cue in the law and order cone cone for me right here
I will try to do without getting finds out.
They don't own a
gun gun. Okay. Just you know, up in an octave. Yeah, there. Yeah, I'll
punch it in his stupid face if he thinks he can get away suing me for a gun gun. Executive producer Dick Wolf.
I'm fucking coming after you more like Dick head. Yeah, God.
Anyway, listen to our episode. It's here and it's here. It's ready. Let's fucking go do this. I do have a couple stories. I'm also gonna say You know what I listen to our show. I'm a listener dammit. You our list. So well. Let's dump into our listeners.
Let's dump into our listeners. Hey, welcome, everybody.
All right, here we go.
You were just killing it coming back.
JC Pete's I'm here for quality. We got we got friend of the show. Barbara. Bob on the on with us. Hi, Bob. Hello. Spooky scary story or two for us a?
I like to think so.
Well, me too.
Wow. This is such good audio. Such good audio?
Yes. Anyway, so go ahead. Whenever you're ready, BB give us your really wicked spooky stories.
So before you start, you want to give us kind of like a so you said you have two stories for us. Right? I have two Yes. Okay. Where do you each of them take place? One of them
takes place in a graveyard. And the other one takes place alone in a car.
All right. Well, I mean, What's scarier places there to be that alone in your car? Sure, crude comes on the radio and you cry in and then there's spooky specter out the window and it's a harsh time.
Alright, well, Bart, whenever you are ready, feel free to share your terrifying story with us.
Alright, first, I just want to say thanks so much for having me on. Guys. This is really exciting. Absolutely. Well,
we're very happy to have you on Barbara. Honestly,
we've been looking at ask us to have you on and this seemed the perfect way to do that. So
yeah, we could use more. More, like knowledgeable smart librarian people are. Yeah, yes. It's like when it's like when you've gone a whole week eating nothing but fast food and then you finally eat a salad and you're like, oh my god, this is so refreshing.
All right, barbel you have the floor, please feel free chairs your story and make it sound real creepy for us.
Right. Okay, Story number one. This takes place about nine to 10 years ago. And at that point, I had this group of friends that shared a particular interest in spooky things just like myself. And we used to actually go out and explore various types of graveyards all over the local area, you know, at 1011 at night, clearly When you're not supposed to, because that's the best time to do it. And so one day we went to this particular graveyard. I don't remember the
name of it. But it the first thing that I felt when I got there was it actually seemed pretty peaceful, which is highly unusual for a graveyard at that time at night, but you walk in, and it seems, okay, fine. So we're walking around. And naturally, we all just kind of start to wander off in our own directions. And I ended up alone. And so as I'm walking, I'm walking around, it's pitch black, I am not near anybody anymore. I'm the only one with a flashlight around me. So it's
the only light I have. And this graveyard was so old, it's not lit, and it doesn't have a driveway running through it. So the streetlights come around. So I'm walking, and I make my way to the very end edge of the graveyard. And this particular graveyard had, it was kind of like walled in by these eight foot tall bushes. So it was a privacy privacy thing. Of course, it was a nice clean line. And so I start walking along the bushes and on the ground are various gravestones.
And so I'm just looking at them and just just kind of thinking about them. And then I start to hear this humming. And it was crystal clear. A woman's voice coming what sounded like a lullaby. And I had no clue what that was about. Like there was like I said, there wasn't really anybody else around me, except at this point, there was one person and it was a man. And he was about 10 feet away from me. So not close, but not far
either. And the second the humming stopped, I looked up and I looked directly at my friend who was about that 1015 feet away or so. And he had the exact same reaction. And we looked at each other, and we just made eye contact. And we just stopped and we were just looking at each other for a few seconds. And he asks me, did you hear that? And that's when I started to get really freaked out. I'm getting shivers down my spine precon out. I'm on the edge of this
cemetery. There's only one person in a relatively close proximity to me. And then all of a sudden, there's this humming, and there's no one else around. There's no woman. We're right next to the bushes, the privacy Bush, we kind of peeked back there to see if there was anybody there maybe in the backyard of the lot next to us. There was no one. No one. And it was crystal clear. It was
beautiful. This beautiful humming Lullaby and I thought, I don't know what I thought I thought at first it might have just been in my head where I was with the environment. Okay, but then looking up and seeing my friend Christian, we make eye contact with each other and then we both hear the exact same thing I asked him, was it
humming? And he goes Yes, it was a woman humming a lullaby and then we booked it out of there because that was a little too scary for us to reveal that was probably the most real experience I've had with something like that before and I know it might not sound like super detailed or spooky but let me tell you when there is a crystal clear song by being hummed by somebody close to you. And somebody else hears the exact same thing and no one else
is around. Well that's enough to make you not sleep that night
wow
you piece of shit Yeah,
god damn BB that
sound yet spooky.
fucking terrifying.
Do you remember what the lullaby was like?
Ooh, yeah.
How the tempo wasn't everything.
I'm sorry to put you through this but like a song. If you could sing us a song that'd be great.
Oh God, um, I don't remember but if I could try it would it would be something probably like, um,
damn. Are you sure it wasn't like that?
Not twist like Not a sponsor. That was
that was later.
So how long ago did this happen?
It was probably a good decade ago. Oh, okay. And this was in community college at the time. Okay, this
is kind of one of those things that just sticks out and remains in your memory to, you know,
DLUTI How many graveyards Have you been to sense?
Oh god. Oh, God question 100
Yeah,
well, you're gonna go to summon Salem? Oh, sure, huh. Oh, we're gonna spend a lot of time and graveyards and Salem. Oh, yeah.
So in case anyone listening is wondering. Barb is a she's very heavily into like the spooky and the weird and also which
I can say she
would you self identify as a witch?
Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
She loves the spooky stuff. She's going to Salem again. I'm sure she's gonna come back with more spooky stories for us. I'm very excited about that. But you do have one more story for us, don't you?
I do. Okay,
are you? Are you ready to tell that on air to all the beautiful people? The beautiful people? Oh, good segue. We try. Are you ready?
I'm ready, okay. Story number two. Now, dare I say this one is a bit more scary. At least it absolutely was for me. So again, it was a another period of time when I went out with this group of friends to a another graveyard. And so imagine all of us in a car, there were five of us. And there was another car behind us with more people. And we all pull up to this cul de sac. And it we all we parked our cars there. And I at the time was not feeling good. My stomach was
bothering me. So I told everybody to go on ahead without me. And I would stay behind and join them. When I started feeling a little better. I think I was just a little carsick. And so they all agreed. And where we were parked, again was a cul de sac. But it was in an area where there weren't any, like full houses around like it was where you'd have a neighborhood that was next to a forest preserve and where we parked was kind of
next to that forest. So you had to walk through a little bit of woods to reach this grave yard. So I'm sitting in the car. And I'm alone, and I'm not feeling super good. And everybody's gone. And I'm listening to them walk away. And it was the first eerie thing that happens, of course in this setting is listening to the voices of your friends fade. So I'm sitting there listening to the adventure, and all of my friends start to fade off into the distance. And it gets quieter,
and quieter and quieter. Until there's just silence just me alone in this car with no sound. And just hardly any feeling except for the cold that was starting to seep into the car. And so of course the temperature starts dropping, and it's so quiet out and I start to just kind of feel weird I start to I felt this feeling as if I was being watched. And of course I'm a 20 Something woman alone in a car in this neighborhood that I don't know and I'm not familiar with and all my friends are
gone. And so I'm naturally on edge and I start to get really defensive and I look around at my surroundings looking out all the car windows everywhere around me there's no buddy around no cars, no movement, no one walking out on the streets, just the wind howling through the trees. So I start to try to calm myself down thinking maybe I'm just anxious. Maybe I'm just freaking out because I'm alone in a car next to a graveyard
that I don't know. And starting to kind of calm down but I just can't shake this awkward, scary feeling that something's off. And then and then I started to hear this sound. But I'm getting chills just thinking about it right now. I heard this sound and it was a kid To the sound of the key, or a fingernail, scraping alongside the car. And I started to get really scared. And it was it was, it
was happening to this car. And I could hear it I heard and start from the edge of the car from the back, all the way to going up to the front. And I'm just paralyzed, sitting where I'm sitting where I am, I'm, I'm scared. And then I heard this just giant, just a knock on the car, and it shook a little bit. And I started freaking out. I like I just I stayed in the car, I made sure all the doors were
locked. I got my phone out, I was thinking about calling 911 Because I thought somebody was around, but I'm looking out the car windows and there is no one, there is still no one around. I didn't see anybody running off the area was wide enough with space that I could see very clearly if there was anybody else around if somebody was trying to run away. So then I'm thinking they're under the car,
right? And so then I get my phone out, and I call my friends and I I'm like shaking and I'm crying and I'm screaming, and I'm telling them like you guys need to come back, you need to come back, you need to come back right now. And they're trying to figure out what's going on, you know, they don't know what's happening, their friends just calling them they know she's alone. So they weren't that far. And they were all running back. And they all came back at the same time. And that's when I got
out of the car. And in the meantime, of course, as I'm waiting for them, I still see nobody, there's nobody around. My friends come. As I said, I got out of the car. I told them what was going on. I'm talking primarily to one person and the others are starting to kind of scan the surroundings, see if they can see anything. And that was when one of them stopped and was like oh my god. And I turn around and I look at them. And I go ramrod straight. And I ask what and we we both go over to
the end of the car. And they show me they show me a handprint. There is a handprint on the back of the car in the window. And the only reason we could see it was because again, I'm I was sitting there alone in the car. And that wasn't on it was a little cold out my breathing fogged up the windows. And I'm again some of you will say there was your hand. It was not. I did not touch the back of that window. But there was a
handprint clear his day. And there was nobody around that could possibly own up to it
always always.
Every fucking time.
set us up for failure in
case anyone's wondering about the confusion at the end of stories. Mike has been saying like, Oh, yeah, you You go ahead. You talk first you talk first. And then as soon as I hit record, he's just like Sorry, Barb didn't take away from some of that creepiness but holy fucking shit. That
was Yeah. I have two questions about the store. One lamb on me one was it just the the fingerprint you you found? Or did you finally scratch marks and stuff too? Because Didn't you say that it sounded like scratching.
It did and we didn't see anything. So that's why I was thinking that it was probably a fingernail and not a key because there is nothing like keyed into the car. It was just the fingerprint we found or the the handprint that we found.
Would you say you found mandore hand hookah car?
Damn it. You don't have to answer
to a whole new level.
That was a fucking terrifying goddamn savant when it comes to storytelling. I guess when you read 1000s of books you you learn how to tell
a tale Yeah, no, that's that's
fair. Is that called book talk? Yeah.
For the simple man. For the simple mind ah, speak.
She don't book talked.
Holy fuck Well, Jesus Christ Barbara. Thank you so much. You wouldn't happen to have a drink nearby would you?
Um, I do in fact, hey,
perfect. So one thing that we do enjoy doing with anybody who calls in is doing a kind of like a send off toasts. We are pouring shots as we speak.
Now for me, I'm driving live yet
Mike's driving his responsibility but Doug and I are absolutely indulging. So if you could go ahead and grab your
drink. were irresponsible.
I am happily ready to toast with you guys with me and my red wine. Ooh,
wine BB is here. Wine Bar.
Crazy reverb.
That was Yeah.
Wine Bar. When you hear the clink, take your drink. I'll see how it goes.
Barb, do you have? Do you have a toast that you would like to give?
Just the one that we are all familiar with
the one that will let you do do you want to go ahead and
do with them? Sure. All right. Are you ready? Here we go. Here's to me. No and no.
Just the one we're all familiar with. Fuck you. Agree?
Then fuck you. And here's to me. There it is.
I hate you so much. I hate you so much. Thank you so much, Barb. Um, the last thing that we would like from you is one piece of advice that you'd like to give to all of our listeners. Anything. Anything you want.
Stay spooky.
Ooh,
I like that. Yeah.
This is like post Halloween when this is gonna come up too. So thanks for giving that their Thanksgiving, the month a bit of a spooky scare.
You should say spooky Halloween
is all year long.
Yeah, wrong. Yes, it is reach. Oh, yeah.
Well, thank you so much, Barb. Thank you, Barbara.
We were we will.
Thank you for having me. It was fun.
I love doing this. And we will most certainly be having you back because you're way better at telling stories than any of the three of us combined. Oh, yes. Please, I will happily oblige. Absolutely. Awesome. Well, everyone say thank you Barb might get the button handy.
Oh, for the audience,
I think still alive.
I don't know. Well, last time I checked there like
these people. They were geese. Do we let them go? Either way. I just figured
I'm gonna push the button and we're gonna see why. Yeah, Barb, whatever noise they're making. Like, it's like cats in a bag fighting. Alright, let's shut him up.
Camel queef cool, cuz I haven't. And I don't ever hearing that ever in my life. But we have another special guest call in that. I'd love to have everyone's ear holes open up to. It's my lovely girlfriend Lissa. Hello. Hello.
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Hi, Lisa. How are you? Hello. I'm good. Good. Hello. I hear you have a very creepy story for us.
Tell me spooks.
You put the spooks right in my ass.
Shut up. No.
Sorry. Sorry. This is the intro. You're getting set up with buco.
We want you to know
so Lissa. I don't know how to segue out of this because you've got so far down the rabbit hole here. You have a terrifying story a personal experience for us. Yep. Yeah. Okay, perfect. Oh, when and where does this take place?
All right. So this takes place probably almost like 10 years ago at $1. General. Oh,
that is pretty scary. Free dollar dinner was is the story that you found something over $1
Yeah, it was terrible. It was 250 Oh,
my. Jesus Christ put a fucking rated our rating on this spooky story.
Um, okay, cool. Well, I guess without further ado, I can't wait to hear this story. Yes,
I have heard this before. And it's fucking awesome.
I have this. This is gonna be a good one. I'm sure. Dollar generals are always Yeah, they haven't heard they have these sponges. They're from dawn. You can only buy them at $1 General. And they're the best fucking sponges. They're so soft. And they got this like white like, like, like film thing over them that it's like a net on it. And it's the best fucking sponge. Oh, Dawn, but you could only find it $1 General. So I'm telling you people Dollar
General exclusive people. Get your sponges.
Get your dollar general info here at the ludie pod. That's one of the topics we cover is sponges and creepy internet bullshit.
Those are the two exclusive things they're actually prominently used in our only fans.
Oh, fuck i the image in my head cannot be erased but let's not go into that. Now Lissa, you said this happened at $1 General about a decade ago right? Yeah, okay. Um, why don't you go ahead and fill everybody's ear holes with some terrifying goodness sound good?
Yep. All right. So like I said, this happened probably like a decade ago when I was, like 1819, I had just started at $1 General and I was the person who would work late at night or early in the morning to do stocking. And I would say some of the first things I noticed was at night, when the lights would turn off shortly after, you would start hearing the toys in the toy aisle, which are like motions censored, start going
off. I didn't think much of it, I thought maybe it was just them shorting or anything like that. And then I also noticed, when I would go into the back room, I would also get these really weird like pressure headaches.
Again, I didn't think much of it, it was an old store, I don't know what I thought, I started taking a little bit more seriously, when I would almost see like shadows like turning the corner, like you see when like someone turns the corner you can maybe see like their feet or their legs, I would see like shadows going around aisles. Um, and then one of the biggest things would be I was it this was actually during the day, when it was actually pretty
busy. I was walking through an aisle, and it was a blanket off, like one of the top shelves was actually like pushed towards me. Because you know, when something falls, it feels kind of like straight down. Whereas this fell, like I mean, it was like push towards me. I'm like, whatever, I put it back on the shelf. And I continued walking towards the back because I was going to ask my manager something. When I got back there, my two managers were actually standing in the doorway
of the back room. And the door to that back room is very heavy, it scrapes it was a big heavy metal door, it was usually never closed, just because it did scrape. They were standing there with this weird look on their face. Because they said the door had just slammed on its own pretty much in their faces. Again, like I said, I mean, it's this big, heavy, Dory does not slam it wasn't the wind, anything like that. So from there on out, I'm like, Okay, there's definitely something
going on here. Um, and then, probably, I don't know, maybe a couple weeks after that, um, the cops actually got called to the store in the middle of the night, because it was registering on the cameras that there was a lot of activity in the office. So it set off an alarm, the cops showed up, called my manager and everything like that. So the next day, I heard that the cops were called there, they showed up, there's absolutely no one there. So of course, they checked the
cameras. And there was actually the cameras have like this little meter, which registers like how busy the store is. So like on a really busy day in the store, it would be all the way up. Whereas at night, there would be pretty much nothing. The activity in the office in the middle of the night was as far up as it would be on a really busy day at the store. Again, this was the middle of the night, it was past midnight, obviously, there was no one in
there. Um, so after that we made like a point to kind of check the cameras more. And we had seen displays that would get pushed over in the middle the night. Again, like I said, I mean, when something falls, it kind of just falls forward. But we were seeing displays that would be pretty much like plumb like across the room and stuff like that, like shampoo displays, we would come and they'd be like, way far away from where they originally put.
But the absolute biggest thing, the final thing where I was like, Yo, this isn't I don't want to do this anymore. It wasn't actually a night that I was working. But my co worker was closing up. She was mopping the aisles and stuff, there was no customers in the store of the clothes. So she mopped one aisle which had you know, like in spring, they start to put out like the fake flowers like the burial Reese like that to put on
graves. Um, she mount that and then she went to the next aisle, when she came back to that aisle with the barriers and stuff like that. There was a barrel wreath sitting directly straight up in the middle of the aisle. Um, so of course, she's like, that's really fucking weird. I mean, that shouldn't be there. There's no one in the store. The manager was in the office counting down the doors and stuff like that. So the next day I came in, they told me about it and we decided
to check the cameras. And what you saw is literally like the burial wreath was picked off. I mean, I don't think it was the top shelf but it was you know, on a higher shelf It was literally picked up off that shelf and sent directly into the middle of the aisle straight up. Like you didn't see it fall you almost saw like float directly into the middle of that aisle. And yeah, shortly after that I quit because I'm like I'm not I'm not doing this
boy howdy, I was so bad.
I had a feeling that's why I kind of was just like Jesus and And anyways, so Mike, fuck you. Yeah. Melissa, thank you so much that that story literally never never gets old gets old. Do you? Do you know if you guys still
have a video or like was it saved?
I don't know. I mean, it's been almost 10 years now I should hope someone say that though.
I feel like that's a video we'd see on like some YouTube compilation of like paranormal caught on tape. Yeah, something like that. But
speaking of paranormal caught on tape, Ben kissel, Ben kissel's on that. Yeah, so we're watching that over the weekend. Yeah.
giant red. Big Foot, man.
Yeah, that literally he came on the TV at work like a month ago. I was like, holy shit that Ben was like, Who the fuck is that?
I was at at&t and I had it on last year for like, spooky stuff and I just hear his voice I'm like, what? Playing the podcast? Where's that coming from? TVS is talking in his big ass and I'm just like, Whoa,
oh fuck, so I don't think I've ever heard a story about $1 General being haunted.
And you said it was a wreath right?
Yeah, you know like, like a burial wreath like those like flower things that they put on graves like the fake one that's what it was.
I don't even know those were sold at dollar generals. Yeah, I
didn't either.
Name them in the spring
crime death time I guess. Was there a name
on it? No, no.
Did you ever look into see if anyone died or anything
around that area? Was your name on it?
Oh
no, I tried to look up stuff about the Dollar General but I couldn't find anything all I know is like it's been the building's been there for forever and it was like a grocery store before and that's not any more creepy so I don't know. I don't know what's going on there.
Honestly, I think the fact that it's not like it never used to be a creepy location and isn't a creepy location adds to like, the creepiness Right? Like you think of like creepy shit happening in like old abandoned houses or graveyards? Like never $1 center
all the spooky places I've never read Chucky Cheese and Dollar General are the two that are like off my list for the most part. Yeah. Yo,
Han Chucky Cheese.
Let's go. I don't want to think about that. Because just reminds me of fucking either. Five Nights at Freddy's or Willie's Wonderland. Yes. And he it's your man and want you to have fun. But Lissa, thank you so much for joining us today and sharing your terrifying tale. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. And as I asked earlier, you have a drink in front of you. Yeah.
I do think it Oh, I think you
want Oh, fuckin royalty over here.
Well, I think you know what's coming next. Do you have a toast that you'd like to share with the people? The beautiful people but who do?
Um, yeah, I would say here's to not shopping at dollars. Unless you
want the good spunk. Go to dollar Talon. You can try it man. So good.
You know, I'm not gonna lie. There's this fucking tick tock channel that all they do is they give you like, the deals of the week at like, I think it's Dollar General might be like, one of the off shoot dollar places. But like literally they're like, yeah, if you buy this, this that this and this. You'll literally like they owe you money. Hmm. And he's just like this random tick tock journal. They're like eight like 14 things a fucking detergent.
And they'll pay you. And I'm just like, I don't need 14 things that detergent for sure. And money. And I'll take that dollar. Thank you. No.
Okay. Well, you guys heard it. Don't ever shop.
These ones. These Funches Damn, it's, there's so fucking good. Email. They're the dawn sponge nylon mesh to pack. And they're so fucking good. Are they? $1
I listen, I know that this seems like this. This whole section of this podcast might be about sponges. And Mike's love for them. But we promise it's
like about you. Yes, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. I literally could listen to you tell it 100 times over. Yes. Well, that's very biased of you know, it's not biased at all.
Well, either way. Do you know what to do? When you hear the clink? You fucking drink? Ready 123
We that shot that we just took so good. So great. Oh, it's okay. It was so good that Lissa had to leave.
Definitely not 10 minutes passed between taking that shot now? No at all.
No. Definitely didn't have a full long conversation with Alyssa and then hung up and then we got someone that's also super awesome and special on the show right now. Love hot metal. We got to come on the show. I tell gentlemen.
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi there.
Tim is one of my friends that I've known Fuck, man. We've known each other for how long I mean, it's been since
ah, it's been over 10 years do Yeah, like it says don't theater.
Oh, right. Right.
It's been a longest fucking time. And Tim's got some wicked scary stories that he won't want to tell everybody and give us all nightmares. So
yeah, I'd love to have some nightmares tonight. So, Tim, before we can go into this where whereabouts does does your first story take place?
In my old bedroom of my family house, okay, which is up on the second floor? It's like the second biggest bedroom.
Okay. Oh, the lap of luxury.
I guess. Like, according to my calculations, the second most haunted room in the house, or the first versus second, I'm not sure.
Depends on say, either way, the key word was haunted.
Very onto. Yes, eventually.
Well, shit. I mean, we don't we don't really need a whole you know, we don't need a big intro for this. What
the fuck are you trying to say?
I don't know. I need our whole intro. His story. Doug, would you help? No. Oh, okay.
So for all of you listening, we are going to let Tim dump it into your ears his spooky stories? What
is it my spook call Tim.
Tim, are you ready to put your story in Mike's a spook hole?
Are you ready for my stories to invade your ear vaginas?
That'd be great, actually,
that we would all love that. So I have a consenting young woman.
Holy, that's rough.
Well, without further ado, welcome, Tim. Let's fucking hear all about your creepy spooky stories. And we will be the judge of whether or not is terrifying enough for our listeners. So are you ready? I'm ready. All right. Whenever you want go ahead.
I'm really bad with time and keeping things straight in my head in that sense. So I can't remember how long ago this was. But I was working third shift at a Sam's Club. Hurray. And I had come home from the third shift and had gone up to
bed. I was in bed for a very short amount of time when I woke up because I heard something wrestling in my room and it was my brother we shared room at the time my brother coming in the room to get changed and get ready for his workday at Panera or something I can't remember. So at first I read them like, oh, it's Robbie, go back to sleep. I'm asleep for blood feels like minutes later, and maybe not even then it feels something like behind me like somebody is behind me. I'm
laying on my left hand side. And it feels like something's at the other side of the bed. And I immediately assume oh, it's Robbie getting dressed or some shit. I don't know. But I try to go back to sleep. When I start to feel the presence approached me and get closer. And then it starts to like loom over me. And then I feel it reach out towards me. And it touches me sort of it doesn't feel like a physical
touch. It feels like its aura touched my aura, which freaked me the fuck out and I immediately jumped awake and looked around. And of course, the rooms empty. Nobody's there
wow, he's actually
is that your question?
Yes. First of all, wow, he and Zoey. Wow, that's fucking unsettling. Yeah, to say the least.
It's yeah, it was it was a bit upsetting.
You said it felt like it touched her aura.
That's the best way I can describe it. Oh, I'd actually didn't finish the story. Now that we think about it. Yeah, the capper on the end of that story. I'm sorry. I told you. Yes. Please
show us where it touched you.
Yeah. Please finish your story.
So I don't tell anybody this story because I just assumed that like it was a nightmare or something or I'm like, losing my mind or whatever. until many years later. When my brother has moved out, and it's going to college, and I'm visiting him at his college, home in Wisconsin, and they tell me about his like, you know, he's living in an old ass house in the middle of Wisconsin, they get fucking, like 100 year old houses. So there's ghosts. So he's telling
me about his skills. And then as he's telling me, I tell him my story about dude, someone reached out and touched me. And as I was telling him the story, he starts getting really all upset and disheveled. And he says, Dude, that used to happen to me all the time. Which completely scared the shit out of me.
Yeah, yeah, that would terrify me too. I mean, that that Oh, give it one sec. God. I mean, yeah, that was just fucking hell. I mean, like,
learn your mychanic you know, the one seconds and then go.
Yeah, that would scare me to
fuck it. I'm probably keeping all of that good.
Well, no, and that's one of those things. I think it just kind of like shows that it's not just you if someone else had that same fuckin experience, you know?
Yeah, absolutely. It was really incredibly interesting because I just, I knew my brother believed to some extent, but I really didn't know if he had any experiences at all in the entirety of living in this house. We just didn't discuss it. So having that like affirmed was shocking.
So what makes you say it felt like it touched your aura like why why would you say that's the first thing that comes to mind?
Because I didn't feel anything touch my skin or my being like nothing brushed against me or I didn't feel anything move. It's just it's energy melded or mingled with mine and it was very intense and strange. I feel
like that's worse than being like physically touched by something like your your your your your energy itself is being grappled
Yeah, it was it was incredibly weird. i It's hard to describe but like it definitely like, it felt like there was like some extra physical contact. It was incredibly strange.
Do you know what that reminds me of? Have any of you guys seen the movie Ghost? With the clay we're
way. Oh, come on. What year is it?
All right. I dated myself for fucking sure. But Fucking Jesus Christ. I am so happy with the conglomeration of stories that we've gotten tonight so far, because they are my skin is goddamn crawling after hearing every one of them and holy fucking shit.
You were right,
that's in your home.
That was in my home. It's upstairs, like I said, but what I assumed to be the second or most haunted room was that my house
was that the only time it happened? Or did happen like multiple times do? It
is to me, only the ones like I imagined it happened to my brother a few times.
Can I ask how you're calculating what rooms are the more haunted.
Feel based actually, I just tried to try to open myself to the energy there. And there's a couple rooms in this in my house that I just don't like being in. So when you really,
when you when you say open yourself to the energy do you walk into a room and just like spread your butt cheeks?
Is that like the
metric?
I mean, the ground chakra, right. I mean.
Perfect, perfect. Perfect. But no, in all seriousness, I do kind of know what you're talking about. Like, if you have an open mind when it comes to
Jason is very familiar with spreading his budget.
I think I need I need context.
I think like the closest I've ever felt as something like that is like, you know, that feeling where like, you feel like you're being watched? Yeah, you can feel the gaze of something. I feel like that's probably the closest, like analogy. Like to, like put in perspective to like your layman, who has felt
well, okay, so you're when you're young, and you would like, have to like move from one room to the next room, and you'd have to turn the lights off in between. And you would just fucking like, turn the light off and then just fucking broke it. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. That's the feeling that I'm thinking of.
Fucking hell. We should go do an episode in.
We're just turning lights off and running away room.
We should go visit a old rush.
Oh, yeah, we should visit gold rush. And like I said, Oh, they made that like impossible. Yeah, yeah, but if I scan my badge, and it works like it's meant to be
Did you have another storytime?
Oh, yeah, another one similar to the
hell? I'm all about it. Fuck it. Let's
fucking I'm Joe. I'm jonesing right now.
Alright, so this has happened a few times in my current living space. So I moved out for a very short time and then move back into my house. I didn't want to be like in my childhood like room because that's just weird. So I moved into the basement and made this my like, apartment as of sorts. From time to time, I will get the sensation that it feels like there's something that like sits on my bed. And it's a very strange sensation. The first time it happened. Of course, I'm
sleeping. I'm like kind of half awake half asleep, I guess. I guess this wakes me up out of asleep. Not I think about it, but I'm not really sure. But I'm just laying there and I feel the bed shift and like a really specific spot in the space as if somebody had just sat right down. And of course the first time this happens, I immediately freak the fuck out jump and look around and I don't see anything in my room. You kind of let it go do your best to try to get back asleep and you know, let it
be. But then it happens a few more times and the first like two or three times. I obviously freak out each time it happens because it's a really Bringing sensation to be by yourself in a basement and then your bed just shifts like somebody's sitting on it. Very creepy. But eventually, I realized I was realizing that it was happening enough that I decided to just like, not freak out when it happens and just see what it
does. So it would come by it sits and I just kind of lay there pretending to sleep trying to see what it does, and it will sit there for just a few minutes or a few seconds, who knows how long I can keep track. And in eventually just goes away. It's like it sits back up, gets up stands up, like it was taking a load off, and it's gone. Wow, geez,
gee willikers. That was great.
So genuine and enthused.
I haven't tasted my own medicine and it is bitter. So to be fair,
I actually really enjoyed that. I was just getting Mike bat for basically interrupting me and Jason throughout this whole episode.
That's fucking creepy. Um, so did that only happen to you that one time as well? Or?
No, like I said, it's how many times I apologize. No, that's all right. But the weirdest said it evolved, it changes. It's when it's learned it went from. It's like it's learning. It's weird. So like, it went from just a single pressure being on my bed to what feels like an animal moving across my bed. Like it'll show up at like, say, the foot of the bed. And then it feels like cat paws. Walking across the bed just like up or down, is when the energy would just lift and dissipate.
Was there ever, like a specific time when this happened? Or was it just random?
It feels random. I haven't kept good documentation of it. So I don't know if there's any sort of emotional or physical correlation.
Did you ever own a cat that passed while you were living there?
No, we haven't had any cats at this location. I've had cats in my life before. And then maybe could be related. But I kind of haven't. I feel like that wouldn't be but it is possible.
Only asked because when I was living with my parents in I lived in the basement. And my basement was like fairly long. So like I had it sectioned off with like tapestries that you know, put it into thirds, basically. And I used to have a really old cat that passed away when I was younger. But I would always see this like little gray blob out of the corner of my eye and I would always see the tapestry move like right after I
saw that blob. And I always thought that it was my cat like the ghost of my cat just like wandering around amazement, because that's where it's meant most of its time while we were down there. So
super weird. Very Yeah, making the rounds as it were.
Have you ever like what's where I'm
like, I don't know why I got to go. Can you draw some pictures?
Could you draw some picture? Um, so I correct me if you said this before, I don't recall you saying anything. But did you ever like see if there is any? Like have you done any research into the place that you're staying at the see if there is any, like deaths or anything in that building?
No, um, so far as I understand that this house was owned only by one other family and I think they ran like a daycare out of it in certain locations of the House that the house isn't too old it's in a fairly new like housing district in the area that I live in. It's possible that the ground of course has something spooky going on who knows what happens on you know, native grounds but nothing ill happened at the house that I'm aware of just like lots of different kids in and out
just some very spooky happenings that randomly happen
Yeah, randomly and consistently just every now and then something strange happens.
Okay, well fuck that's a it's a incredible but thank you so fucking much for coming on and sharing that with us. I mean, we have so much for having me absolute we've gotten
Oh, you're coming back from war.
Oh, yeah,
I mean, we've already Oh, you'll be coming.
We have an old boy about it.
For me,
um, no, I don't know if you guys know so as we've already said before that this is attempt number two at the the listener episode. And last time we talked to Tim he had some info about some astral projection and we're not going to get to that now. No, but we want to we do we want to down the line. We want to have him back on and we want to talk about some astral project. And like real life experiences what to do almost like a how to manual? Yeah, yeah, kind of
rude. Yeah, it'd be I would be very okay with that.
He sent us some fun things that we can look into as well. So
he sent us some literature and from what I've seen so far it's all looks fan fucking tastic
and stuff. Yeah, absolutely good soup.
Well, Tim in a in lieu of you having to work early, we understand that you're, you're probably not partaking in our normal listener toast if you could give us a toast for everyone else who is listening and might be drinking along with us. What might you say to them?
Just popped into my head. Remember that we all are brothers. Cheers. worse for
me. Cheers. boys want to hear my drink so Wow. Just keep going man. What a spooky scary story that was. Dare I say? I'm spooky to the guy that made the Alfred Hitchcock has nothing on Tim's story or any of our listeners stories so far. Alfred Hitchcock more like Alfred Hitchcock
bitch that is probably the porno parody of any of his movies
yeah probably the birds is cool waco
becoming
becoming oh no that fucking what are we doing with our lives?
No one knows but we do have two more stories for you all and they are going to be told actually three more yeah about a couple
Yeah cuz Mike has so many Well Michael
was that tone
before we get into Mike's though, as he dies of laughter We do have one of our patrons has shared a story with us that He wants us to narrate from the user dxp I don't think that this is gonna go the way
Phoenix
sorry.
My bad y'all.
Fine. Yeah, let's let's we're gonna narrate the story from the experts you can not call in Unfortunately, while these two chuckle fucks just get this out of their system. So I guess without Without further ado, here is the XPS is dx Phoenix's personal creepy story
Hey, love the shout out. Unfortunately, when you complimented my pants, I was not wearing any, but it was appreciated nonetheless. I heard you guys were looking for spooky stories. So I'll just dump one of mine here if y'all are interested. I work overnight shift in the lumberyard of a hardware store. Most of the night I'm driving forklift back and forth bringing hex of lumber inside. About five months ago,
this happened. It was around 1am And the main lights of the lumberyard had gone out and the only thing lighting the yard was coming from inside the building. That light reached the end of the pavement. Beyond that, in almost total darkness was a small stretch of grass for water runoff and then a thick woods. I drove outside and saw a set of I
shines. This wasn't uncommon as I live in a relatively rural part of the Northeast and we get deer, coyotes and foxes near the store pretty often are sometimes even able to feed them. So think nothing of it, do my work and head back inside. About an hour later I head back outside the eyes are still in the exact same place. They haven't moved and they do not blink they raise up now deer can stand on their hind legs but that's usually only to spar with other deer or reach
food. And these guys had to be seven to eight feet high off the ground. So I think Fuck that's got to be a bear being quite an interested in becoming bear poop I nope, the fuck back inside. And about a half hour later I pick back outside and they are still there. I watched for about five minutes, I can just barely see a dark outline of a body which makes me think even more that it's a bear. Then the eyes fly up and backwards into the trees, but they do not look
away. Something either did a wacky as ninja jump or it flew backwards into the trees and then they vanished. Needless to say, I took a week off after that happen and still get nervous being alone out back when I work. Also, I don't smoke or drink so you can rule those out. At this point, I'm just counting the days until this Crazy Windigo Mothman murder bear eats me keep being awesome guys know what not
just waiting Mike. Yeah, just just wait any inevitable?
What are you talking about? Oh, I don't know. Also DX Phoenix, you're the best.
You really are you?
You? You're the best.
It's you know it's people like you that send us meaningful things that actually impact our lives and coerce us to do you know podcasts like this
it's people like you and for $1 a day.
These starving party member booty
cult member
at least one of us at least is that
me?
Maybe you are the skinniest I'm hungry. Almost always Yeah, I
snack like a bird.
Have you seen those? Okay, so I recently I saw a fucking picture of like, it looked like a marketing campaign and it said it basically had postage and inside the postage there's a nickel yeah and the Vita kit for this nickel you could feed a kid for a day if
that nickel Why are you giving it to the worst part is the postage cost more than a nickel
right so you pay 41 cents will feed a child for 41 cents
we'll ship you a nickel right
you your sponsor this one nickel
Mary's sponsor this nickel. DX Phoenix. I will say I have some follow up questions. I hope you answer one being sounds like a moth man. Maybe can you tell me Mothman usually foretells like death or like accidents. When that happened, were there any accidents that happened right after or maybe a week or so after?
I also have a question. Who do you think you are?
Well my thing wait for that. Wait a second. Okay. What color are the eyes?
I thought I thought it didn't sound like yellow was I wrong? Did I miss here that I might have
missed said I shines but that didn't really Oh, I
thought it was like yellow.
I thought it was just I shines. I want to know the color because that depending on what Laurie you're looking at, that might give us a clue as to what we might be dealing with.
I also have to say you pretty much poked at our heartstrings on this story because we are all extremely obsessed with cryptids like we don't cover cryptids enough but there's a reason for that. Also,
do you still work
there? If not good for you.
If not go back.
Why not?
Camera?
Yeah, yes video just make
sure it's real low quality and like real grainy and shitty so yeah knows what the fuck they're looking well
make sure when you see it, you immediately turn the camera away from it so that we can't see it. Well
speaking of like low quality and like grime you know, there's like Flat Earthers there's there's flat there's flat footers now Well, I would believe that whenever you take a picture of Bigfoot, he immediately just turns it to a two dimensional flat object that you may not Stanley essentially Yeah, because a flat stand.
Why am I thinking Mr. Bill? 2d? Oh, no, no, no. He becomes 2d Like every but did he
mention in that um I'll fuck it for I was gonna say I just read my brain just died. I know but Shut up. My brain guy. Whatever doesn't matter anyway, dx Phoenix. Thank you. That's a super creepy story.
Please, guys keep this shit coming. Like we we we have people sending us like stories, not personal stories, but creepy stories. And every once in a while via you know, Google Voice on you know, through text message on Patreon just pretty much everywhere. And we we love it. We might not respond to you immediately. But we promise every time that we read one of these Yes, we love boners and we parade around pictures we go
to the Macy's Parade it's
a whole thing. I'm
Isaac's a flow. Now you know where
I get my slap peens and bake beans because we just be slapping our peens together because we're
so excited I also since you brought that up I do want to say if we don't respond in time it's not because we're ignoring you but also because sometimes messages are hidden because Instagram is stupid.
I have been checking through I have to consistently but it could still
happen sometimes things fall through the cracks and I just want to put that into the ether
we have a lot of people asking us to wear their clothing for their brand and I know they're just bots but like
oh yeah oh have you look at literally every single one of our posts on Instagram just get promote here promote promote promoted
on this like fuck
you idiot. Yeah, at first I was like, Oh, cool. People are like they're seeing us and now that we've been doing this for a while, like, yeah, do. You aren't real? Hey,
well speak Have not real Mike, you have some stories for us, right? Wow, that hurts. That's just
me and Mike and birds are not real. That's true. I do
have some stories. I know you've been putting creepy music behind their ears. But for mine, you know, we're just going classic campfires spooky stories, so please put it up right now. Just get right there.
Okay, listen that crack. Listen that fire. Thank you for the audio.
Yeah. Do you guys have marshmallows in hand? Well, good. Put them in your hand. Put them in the fire. Do you have
the audio of like a fat child breathing heavy?
I can make hold on everyone. Except for Doug. Shut up.
Everyone except for Don
I don't get it.
That's fine. Our listeners? Well,
that's good.
Yeah, I got a couple stories. I got I got two. I could tell three if we want a third but we're getting pretty low. See how generous we are? Yeah, so so we can just go I mean, you can keep your mics. I'll give a fucking interrupt me. I'll give a dang.
Yeah, let's do that. Let's interrupt. Yeah, go ahead.
All right. Well, let me stoke the fire real quick. All right. Welcome to the midnight society. Yes. Remember that from Are you? Are you afraid of the dark?
Are you alright, real quick. I have to bring this up. I have been there. There's a YouTube channel right now. It's just a guy who uploads Saturday morning, Saturday night and just any morning cartoons onto YouTube. That's fun. And I've been watching them while I go to sleep because they're just fucking it's just like nostalgic, right. Channeling. Oh, I can find it real quick.
I am ready. Here's my story. Say some things aid in exterior black. I knew that a sunrise over the New York coast. That's not a coastal city. So
you know Manhattan's there is technically a coast.
Manhattan isn't in New York. Repeat. I'm dumb rents for that. Thank you. Um, oh, look at that. Oh, that's fun.
I live out there like five hours. Yeah, it's
a rinse, repeat. Anyway, here we go. Ready?
Let's get to two mics.
This first one is called Ghost cop.
You have names? Yes. Stories. Oh, this is called a movie before.
So here we go. So back when I worked at the movie theater, coincidentally with Tim. There was a cleanup guy and that guy I will just call him like because his name was Mike just
call him like
me God given a Christian. So he was the the night custodian you will come in after everyone except like the manager and one employee stayed back to clean everything. He would clean, like sparkling detail, clean everything. So he came in, it was just me. The manager was in their back office. And he started cleaning everything. And I started cleaning up the concession stand. So as I'm cleaning the concession stand, he's in the theaters deep
cleaning everything. I hear a knock at the door because we lock our doors up. And I see a cop there. And I walk up to it thinking oh, maybe he did it. Yeah, well, it's a cop. So I'm not about to not open the door. I don't wanna get shot. I'm gonna do like
the Wii didn't gender. It wasn't him. But you're like I open the door to it. Oh,
Specter, who knows? Oh, spoiler alert. Anyway, so I opened the door for it. And he comes up to me, I'm like, Hey, we're closed. Like, I'm sorry. What? Can I help you with anything? And he's like, oh, you know, I'm just in the area. Can I use your bathroom? And I'm like, Yeah, sure, that's fine. Um, so he I've shown where the bathroom is. And I go back to the concession stand and I start cleaning. And admittedly, I did go to the back a bit. But I really locked the door behind
him. So obviously, more people can't come in. And it's been a good like, 1015 minutes, and I'm just sitting there like, cleaning and I'm like, alright, well, I haven't seen or heard anything from this cop yet. I wonder if he's okay. So I think you Doug, wrote me a note that says stop. So I will shut up.
Now please keep going. Oh,
just talking. Thanks for the support, Doug. Anytime. So I'm like, Alright, it's been like 1015 minutes, like this cop should be out of the bathroom right now. So I go in the bathroom. And I don't see anyone in there. I'm checking the stalls. They're all open. And he's just not there. So I go to check the doors and the doors are still locked. So I go to the night cleanup guy and I'm like, Hey, did you let that cop out? He's like, What are you talking about? Like, I let a cop and use
the bathroom. I didn't see him come out. And he's like, no I haven't seen anyone at all. I haven't let anybody out digitally the door lock and you just walk down as Oh, no, I locked the door. And so I thought that was fucking weird. So I told my manager the next day, and they're like, alright, well, let's check out the recordings, the footage, and we look at the footage and you see me and go and unlock the door. Doctor cop, show cop bathroom,
and cop never comes out. And they fast forward at it and it's just hours upon hours and years. Never nothing. You never see the copper leaf. And it again Admittedly,
this was the this was the theater on Randall.
No, you're that's Randall that's 15 years at Kendall that's right Claude don't get a mixed but yeah, so that's ghost cop. This this this spooky spectra that is walking the thin blue line between life and death god should I say like blue like after lives matter?
And the floodgates have opened?
Fuck the police man. But a bit I just had somebody like when I when I first thought about stuff I had so many good jokes. I can so
many good jokes. But that's
jokes aside to cease and desist. God
six feet apart.
Oh,
I'm not gonna tell you that this might be detracting from the creepiness. I'm just gonna let you figure that out.
Oh, I know. But I think the listeners need a dose of
Yeah, we just fucked Yeah, right. But yeah,
that's ghosts cop like we saw I helped them in and he never came out again. And there that theater is apparently haunted by a construction worker named Meelo who had a heart attack Allegedly. Allegedly. While building kennel 10 And there are other hauntings that go on there too. Another one I had was when I was cleaning up there one night again closing concession stand. trashcan just fell over. Like it was like
pushed over. And it just rolled across the What's so funny Mike, don't keep me another posted note that just says I don't care. real meat today
by just holding on till
so I usually have
some queued up already too.
We are interrupting this spooky story to let you know that Mike is holding about four pounds of posts.
Doug is bad it just all just mean things. derogatory terms and all. Negative and
then the more negative I am the better you do it just
Yeah. But like a trash can, like got knocked over. And it's not one of those like, it's not a regular trashcan. Like it's it's in like, it's in like a thing that holds it up. So people can't just come by and knock it over. Like it's in like this granite of the ground. Yeah, it's bolted to the ground. It's like a granite thing that you have to like, use a key to unlock and then you can pull the trashcan out. And this thing just had to keep out of there. Vandals I don't fucking know the
band. Okay, so, I mean, let's put it up. People over there suck to put in perspective, one of the ladies that work there. I will leave her name out because I don't know if she even wants me to say her name. But she went to the girls bathroom and some girl smeared blood and women's hygiene products all over. And so there's shitty people out there that would just defile a trash can as well. Like they defiled the restroom.
So okay, I in high school, we had an announcement one day that was like still going Hey, it is okay. Can you not like basically it was like yeah, we need to make sure that like nobody smearing shit on the fucking windows or the mirrors of the bathroom. Oh, they smear that was a thing. It's fun High School. Yeah, it definitely announced people are
gross. Kids are gross.
Everybody assumes that like the men's bathrooms are the most gross things ever. No
women's bathrooms are what I've heard. I've like I've cleaned my fair share. They're fucking awful. And actually, I shouldn't say that because I think it was illegal for me to do that. I'm sure at the time were
a girl.
Yeah, that's right when I was 16 I looked like a young lesbian. Yeah, I did. I did like look at old pictures of me. If any of you find my Facebook I think it's public. You can just go back and find a fifth picture 14 year old
me now he just was like this one. A lesbian with a beard. Yeah, pretty great.
I look like Ellen DeGeneres. Oh, yeah, but without being friends with war criminals like fucking George Bush.
Anyway, like you haven't had enough. Fucking Adrenochrome
Yeah, exactly. So and she's like super shitty to our production people.
is actually the worst. Yeah, fuck you
already know what we're gonna talk about on tonight's round everybody. I
have another gun like recent story, which I think is probably
Yeah. Yeah, yes, please share that. This has to do with the recent trip Euro. Yep. So voluntary kidnapping.
Yeah, yeah. I allowed Orthon. So, I was on my honeymoon recently, as you all know, we went up to Stowe, Vermont, which is absolutely beautiful. Highly recommended. 10 out of 10. It's stove. Sto sto W E stove is better though, Vermont. Absolutely beautiful. It's what you think of when you think of like, sleep like all town? Yeah, yeah. When you think of like a small, small town where people go to like, ski and shit. Like there's a bunch of mountains, trees. It's gorgeous.
But there is a bridge up there called Emily's bridge. And the there's two stories the most known for Foxy. What is this now? You know, it says that's so interesting. Doug passed me another note that says that's so interesting, but I feel like there's a terse tone behind. Don't really like No, no, no, keep going. I feel like there's sarcasm here. See, you
said a tertiary tone. But I heard toast toast to turn.
Anyway, Emily's bridge the legend behind Emily's bridge, says that a woman named Emily killed herself on the bridge because her patrol never like, came back to her like he ran away and like abandoned her essentially. So she killed herself at the bridge. It is said that her spirit haunts the bridge, and she will scratch men who go across the bridge. Oh,
shit. Yeah, um, I forgot about there's another one, um, that that story I believe is from like the 40s There's one that takes place in the 70s where it's, it's just the other one is like, oh, yeah, a bunch of like, kids got into the occult, and they just made up the story. So I like the other one from like, the 40s better. But, so I went across this bridge with Laurie. And while we went across the bridge, I decided you know, it's a good idea. Taunting spirits,
as you do yes. So I went on the bridge and I was like, hey, Emily, like Scratch me. Like I want to see what you can do. Fucking scratch me if you're here like do it. Come on. I'm I'm telling you do it. Do a pitch go. I was very I was kind of rude. I feel bad. And I apologize thoroughly after Zack Baggins the fuck, but I actually agree. Yeah, exact bag is the shit out of it. Although I this was real and not a fucking hack. So got him.
That's the difference we love. He's like back Yeah.
Prove me wrong. Um, but so we went back to the hotel room after that. And I want to take off my shirt because we're getting into bed. And oh boy. Another poster. No, let's see what this one says. It says show me your bowls. Oh, balls.
The pin doesn't write very well.
Well, I will after Okay. Okay. I'm
just for it's a comfort thing.
Yeah, it's it's like a motional support. Well, no, it's all show. It's like the Totems
from inception. We know we're not a dream. Exactly. Are you real? Show me your test.
Show me your dog. So I know.
I put I put a mark on your balls do that thing with your balls that only I know. There we go. That's made them do the Irish jig. You're gonna fucking hernia. Yeah. Anyway, so went back to the hotel room. And I went to take off my shirt because again riverbed and I sent the picture. You guys in the discord? We can post it when this comes out if I guess Yeah. But I had this bruise on my lord back. That was in the shape of three scratch marks. It's I still have it. It's still on me.
Fuck it. Let's see it. Well, right now.
Yeah, right now. I
mean, it's it's faded away.
That's okay. See it?
Is it still there? It should be like around this area. Yeah,
I see. Oh, yeah, I see it. Yeah, yeah, I see. It's faded as fuck. Yeah. Yeah. But I
mean, that was like a week and a half ago. So the fact that it's still on me is weird. And I will say, since we got back my cats, I've been just staring up the stairwell. And for no reason. There's nothing I saw your Snapchat. Yeah, yeah. And Luna, one of my cats. I love her. She was actually sleeping. And I was downstairs last night watching TV and she was sleeping. And she just shot awake and just looked like right up the stairs. And did that thing cats do when they're like
curious or like rubberneck? And they'd be like this thing. They're just like, they're all Yeah, if she like she like gotten to that like defense mode that cats do. And she got a little puffy because like cats will like puff their tails and everything bigger, shallow, puffy. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. This you know, I didn't see that like so I do believe something might be attached to me and even as we're recording this right now Yeah, I saw like they were we were talking to one
of our listeners. I think it was when listen was doing her story. Yeah, it was and I just saw this like black like, shadow like fog just like fall from the ceiling to the floor. To my left Am I right? And these two didn't fucking see anything? I live Oh, I didn't. I might be
haunted. You might have something attached to you maybe. And I apologize
thoroughly to Emily like right after like, I crossed the bridge and I was like, Hey, I'm an asshole. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was hey, I'm an asshole. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. And hopefully that helps. I was like, you know, I'm sorry. Please. Stay safe. You got this girl? Do you your dad? It's fine girl boss ghost.
Oh my god. Um,
so yeah, those are two of my scary stories. I guess I have.
Let's actually let's save that one for the next time. We need it. Yeah,
that's a sad one more but don't blow your load in one way.
Do I have one more? No, no, I
think that was it.
Well, now you owe us another one shit.
We do. Maybe bonus who knows?
I went to a haunted house. Well, it was a house Oswego that's supposedly haunted. It's on Johnson road. I think
so it's just okay, that's happening. It's just happening. Cool. No, this
isn't that scary story. There's just some other side thing.
They do have a third one. It's the lights. Oh, yeah. But save that. Yeah.
Save that one. I
just want to talk about this haunted house. I didn't see a ghost dream thing. It's not haunted. You see, but, but here's the scenario. We went in there. No, we went in there. I think it was like a hobo den or something. Was there a bunch of like cassettes and like books just littered around the floor? Did they have carpet ceilings? No. Popcorn, ceilings, but there's like beds on the floor and everything too. And then it looked like they set up like
retracts? Because like so you saw the collector fucking movie set? Kind of
because like there's longhouse
I might have been because there was when you go up the stairs there's like a fishing line that I didn't see it and now the pin can well I hit it and with a baby doll came flying in the chest. And there's another one there I think it was like it was not set up. Thank God but it was like a fuckin like a knife in like a two by four. Like they're setting it up I've seen in a movie, I think where why? Yeah, the collector is that in the collector? I'm
pretty. It looks like they're trying to set up a death trap because it was like something that's supposed to swing down and stab a guy, but it was just laying on the floor.
A collector is just home alone if fucking Kevin McCallister was like the Antichrist or I don't know. Fucking Gollum. Oh, just trying to kill everybody. If you haven't seen
that movie. Ooh,
prepare yourself. Yes. No, I know. It's funny.
Are we Is that is that our bizarre listener episode? Yeah, is
that our center episode? Yeah,
we can we did it y'all we can't share everything that we want. Even though we have so much more but we're already we're fucking an hour and a half in right now. Like we have to do this again. Right?
Yeah, I mean every Halloween all of you people that are listening now that maybe were afraid or didn't want to reach out reach out next time if you really want to.
We're gonna make this an every Halloween thing I like this.
And honestly, if we had enough stories this might be like a multi. We can do it halfway to Halloween. Yeah, do a countdown like whenever we love hearing these creepy stories from you guys, because all we do every week is delve into these fucking creepy ass websites these weird stories. We tried to like uncover some truth about them but hearing from you guys directly is like that's that has made my hair stand up way more than most of the shit that we talked about. Aside from like a
video games. Yeah, okay, that one fucked me up. Yeah, that fucked me
up kept three fucked me up a
little bit. Yeah, I didn't like up there. That would make me uncomfortable. The videos on that one. I think maybe the most uncomfortable them all.
Did you guys see the fucking YouTube channel? I sent you guys. I did. Yeah.
Yeah, it's only got like four or five videos on it or something like Oh,
really? It was like 00390 I was not. Yeah, and I guess that's That's fucked up. That might be an episode for us later. Yeah. But
um, I would like to give a quick shout out again to all of our patrons. Yes.
Especially learning. Especially journey, especially my
mom. I was I love you, mom. Well, Jay all of you, you make us you are the reasons we are able to do this. And we thank you very much. I mean, there's so many of you already and there's gonna be more to come.
We didn't expect any of this week like Oh, you guys are blowing our expectations out of the law.
Yeah, I just again, thank you so much all of you for real. You're You're wonderful. Thank you to everyone that sent us a story. I hope this comes out a little after Halloween. So I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween
it was supposed to be out right around yet.
And even though we are in recording only a few few short days away from Halloween. We will be making it Halloween for you guys year round. So
when this comes out, congratulations. It's hot. To the electrowinning electric
Halloween aloo Yeah,
I'm Nick wiener Lou
we Innaloo happy Angel wean yeah heavy.
I would also like to shout out to my two boys here who took over social stuff when I was gone. I would also like to say I'm a bit salty because whatever JC has been doing has been getting a lot more attention than everything I've been doing kind of pisses me off but at the same time, you know, for a man that doesn't use Twitter you got to grab spot it
apparently I literally didn't know what to do so and posting it was my thought process. Here
we go. I think in the two weeks that Jason has taken over the socials, it's gotten more traction than everything I've done in the past.
I've given you a backlog of tools that you can use it I've been using the thing
I'm lazy, I'm not going to use them. I'm just going to go back to my old ways.
They're all right there. Yes, it's all copy paste.
It goes I love what you're doing, but I'm not gonna do Yeah, no.
Principal thing. I tried. Well, if it helps, I think Jason is gonna help a little with so yeah, you might you might see him.
We may all take that on Twitter. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna
get some downtime. You guys are gonna be seeing some very weird internet facts and finding or like some weird ass website has stumbled across because I in my free time, I just look up the weirdest bullshit sources. Yeah, that's the only reason I found that is because I typed in random words into Google horsepower for sounds like the 19th Fucking hit results. Oh,
I would also like to shout out to our link tree link tree.com
Good job and tricky.
Yeah, thank you. Did it. Link tree.com/duty pod you can find everything there we have our merch our merch is on our link tree or you can find our merch link in our descriptions
as well. So click that more details button or whatever right there and you'll see our merch buy yourself a nice fancy shirt or sweater this sweater whether you've been good and we have masks on their mascot people I'm not gonna buy one of the mass my saying and I would like to shout out obviously our YouTube page which is dont look under the internet. You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram literally everywhere just
put in Google deluded booty or yeah, look at it like
Google deluded pod or dont look under the internet internet you'll find
us or even Polybius
or now we're on buy me a coffee which at this point you know us it's going to be buy me alcohol. Yep. And again, thank you very much everyone. I hope you have a wonderful Halloween I hope you find a tooth in your Snickers bar instead of a razor blade.
Yes. Don't don't follow the the same route the trick or treat route
also don't don't sleep on the YouTube we put our shifting sounds fine. Yes. So
here's the thing with the shifting sands as well I think we mentioned it before I'm going to mention again. Shifting Sands is its own separate channel. So if you're looking up the brainchild Yeah, if you're looking up dont look under the internet on like Spotify for example. You're not going to find the shifting sands episode on our Spotify you have to go to our leisure tree sands go to our link tree we have this link right there. Shifting Sands is also currently being uploaded a
lot more places as well. It's not on everything but it just accepted
it Yeah, same process with like, fucking WD like, yeah, its own it. But Shifting Sands
is its own channel,
I do want it up. I do want to say this. We are trying to, to make more content for that as soon as possible. But coordinating between myself and fucking for other people is difficult. So the next time we're recording is November 21. Expect the episode out soon after that as soon as I kind of like get around to editing it because that is heavily intensive when it comes to
editing. But I want to make that make sure that whatever you guys are hearing on that front is just fucking supreme quality I want you guys to be entertained, is I have this whole story. I cannot wait to share this whole narrative with you guys. And I cannot wait for Doug Mike Nate Naomi to kind of run through all of this because I oh my god, I'm so excited. They've they've done my Homebrews before and they
like they liked them. But this one I've taken the kind of have a new level with the whole thing, so it's gonna be fucking fantastic. Stick around for it. I'm
super excited for it. It'll be good. But I also want everyone to go to our Google phone number. Leave us a voicemail. We will play it on the show. Shoot us a text message. We'll respond to you our Google Voice number is 630-909-9366 that is 63090993661 more time for the men in the back. That is
1248 1460 70 to
90 to shut up. Nine three.
No, no, no, no no no.
Jacob
Jacob, no man. No wait, it was George.
You know what we didn't do?
What
We've already started calling Jason Jordan research.
I understand why he doesn't like that. Because it's his middle name.
God everyone fucking Do you know what we didn't do? We've toasted every other storyteller on this episode. We didn't touch Mike. Mike's back to George we've missed it
Yeah, I guess this is one last one last one last one last toast clinking drink to send us off
toast until the long night yeah
and people just let you know we're probably doing the Lake City quiet pills next so Oh yeah, you can rest easy now your horse you can rest easy now it's happening.
Yes it stop sending us the suggestion we get it
before we
agree to that.
Like
this, this is the this is this is what where we are signing off. So Lexie, quiet pills will be the next thing that you fucking hear.
Maybe hopefully,
more than likely. It's like 8080 20 Yeah, it's
it's real fucking good beef. But uh, here's this toast is to all of our listeners. Every time every time
it took me a bit too long to understand the good beef.
This toast is to all of our listeners all those who called in. So thank you so fucking much to Barb. Thank you so much to Lissa, thank you so much to Tim. Thank you so much for the experience and thank you so much, Mike. For your fantastic stories are
a little less Mike though,
but we know. Yeah, I would put all of you on the top of that. Scale.
And not but either way this toast is for all of you. So partake or not. When you hear the clink Thank you drink fucking drink.