DLUTI 023 - Advance-fee Scams

Don't look

those matter? You get tickets on those points, right?

And those are like if you go to certain places they pay you in those. It's like money

is a form of currency. Yes.

Yeah, I guess yeah.

You can buy candy with those. No, the points don't matter. That's the whole point of the points is they don't matter. Asked Drew Carey,

welcome everybody to another episode of Dont Look Under The Internet. Now. I know we promised one thing. And we were getting the exact opposite, because we said that Doug would not be here this time. But Doug is here. However. Have you heard from Mike like at all?

I have not. And that is actually why I'm here because I got a frantic call earlier today being like, Yo, I haven't heard from Mike in a couple days don't know what's happening. So I put aside some stuff I had to do and I rushed my ass out here.

And here we are. Hi. I think Mike's fuckin he's calling us. Jesus. Hold on. Let's we have to get this.

Hello, boys, boys. Boys.

Holy shit.

Are you okay?

I'm hiding. I'm hiding where? From? Where have you been man? Oh, God. I just got a bar. I had to work on Nan fees is fuckin worth on. You. I didn't get him enough tea for you. We also didn't

get it yet.

You didn't take them with you? Yeah. Your teeth are sitting. It's dark. I don't know. It's I don't know. what time it is.

It's it's recording time.

Yeah. What are the fuckery? I don't know. It's it's cobblestone. Where are you? Are you legit? Like, have you been fucking taken? Back out of here. He's coming. He's coming. I gotta be. It's coming. He knows where I'm at. Who I guess like coming in. You're not at you. Either way. It's not a good look. I I kick your Speak up. I'm not wearing any pants. Oh, so

he's coming in you okay?

Jesus are deep like, dude, can you give us some clues as to where you are?

I hear I hear. I hear a train. Okay, it's it's wet. If everything's damp. cobblestone. There's cobblestone. Do you understand us?

I'm pretty sure I just saw this on a movie the other day. Was this fast traffic tonight? It was nose backdoor slots night. So he's got it.

I gotta move. Can you move?

Can you get out? You guys? Are you guys recording?

Where are you? Where are you though?

You have no idea. No, that's why I'm saying I'm in some sort of dungeon. What the fuck was that? I don't think it's hard to see. I don't know. I'm just kind of running around in a hallway.

Okay, how how long have you been there? Like we even heard from you in days, man. I

don't even I say God has been days. Yes. Oh, God. It feels like

it's only been a few days. Yeah. I can't see the sun. I don't know. There's no windows. I feel like in the back rooms but I don't know. I mean, if you're there, you know, it was it was nice knowing you. recording now. Sorry about Yeah, we're recording. We were just wondering where you were? Did you? Did you shout out to the Patriots the new page? No, we were legit worried sick about you, man. We were waiting to get to that.

trade off the trade off the Google photo of the Google phone.

Let's just know we can get we were waiting for you. We thought you were going to be here to help us out with that. That's why we called you

and I need an answer. Frankly, work. Let's say I remember I was going to work and then a burlap sack over the head. And

now I don't know. There's teeth all over the floor. Normally, I'd like that, but I didn't put them here. So okay, wherever Mike is it sounds fucking horrible. Well,

can he hear me? Oh, okay. I gotta go. I gotta go. He's here. Oh, well, oh, and they're there he goes. Well, um,

it was it was it was nice knowing him.

Yeah, I mean, we did know him.

For a little amount of time.

Do you think he'll be back by next Episode, or do we have to fill that as well? Well? Awesome. I hope I hope like he's okay. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Sure if anyone out there knows of a place by them that might be wet constantly and full of cobblestone and is the lair of Orthon the collector, please just let us know, we have to go find our friend. Also, we need him back on the show because I mean, who's going to do social?

I mean, don't be surprised if you guys see a an application for one of our hosts. That's on the podcast.

But we'll we'll figure it out. Ya know, for sure. He's, he's wily. He'll be fine, right? Yeah. Like you said he. He's got some sprites and stuff.

I mean, he does collect all four Orthon.

If that's who has him, that's, maybe he's not doing it fast enough. Maybe Maybe he's not spreading the love enough. Is that do we have to start sending people teeth? Do we have to start kissing more dads? Maybe that doesn't pertain to Orthon? I'm not sure I you know, I don't really fully understand Orthon as it is like, I

think he's a demon. Like did Mike sell his soul to Orthon?

I mean, maybe? Who did I honestly, who knows? We might find out more about that. But at this point in time, it sounds like Orthon has a pretty firm grip on Mike and he's not coming back. So

it'll work itself out. Hopefully. Yeah. Well, that being said, we do have a couple of fun things to talk about before we get into the episode.

exciting things.

Another one of our gracious listeners as sent us a pretty interesting text message to our our Google phone. No, we

actually we got a couple of them. I want to say I'm so proud of you guys. Because I was very lonely, up until we started receiving more and more of these. And I do know when they come in, because when I'm in surgery, my fucking butt vibrates. And I'm like, that's either a text or it's the people that listen to us.

Yeah, right. I don't know. And fuck, so keep them coming.

Yeah. So what was it say Doug? Okay, so today,

this one's a little like mini creepy pasta and I love it. It's fucking great. Okay, I know you had a little issue reading it earlier. Yeah, didn't check the email. I just

read the tax and fucking unreadable. So thank you.

So I'll decipher it. And this is how it goes. Last night, a friend rushed me out of the house to catch the opening act at a local bars music night. After a few drinks. I realized my phone wasn't in my pocket. I checked the table where we were sitting at the bar, the bathroom. And after no luck, I use my friend's phone to call mine. After two rings, somebody answered, gave out a low raspy giggle and hung up. They didn't answer again though. I eventually gave it up as a lost

Oh shit. Oh. Oh, I like that. I

know. Right? A little short.

Have you ever heard of the fucking it's called I think it's called five second films. I can find him on YouTube. And I you would get a fucking kick out of this.

It sounds very similar to something that's on Netflix called like two sentence horror stories. It's

Yeah, it's very similar. But so the one that's the one that stands out to me. It shows like this guy he's running into like, I think it's a bank to rob the bank and he like pulls the gun out and he's like, give me all the money give me all the money. And he pulls the trigger and a little like flag comes out that says bang and then hard cuts to a clown holding a gun that is just like shaking and is scared of everything around him. And I fucking love that. It's all shit like that. Oh, that's

Well, we we haven't we have another special thing

we do. I mean you guys keep giving us so much fucking support like we hear from you guys all the time. And we always have a new patron announcement like week after fucking week and I'm blown away. I'm not I was not expecting this like at all like I knew that we had something good like under our belt but I didn't expect it to blow up this quickly as it has been and we need to thank all of you guys for making this possible. Like we are super

Don't worry all we have something in the works. I don't know how we're going to release this another wild but I

mean, honestly, I think it's just gonna be us drawing attention to the picture on Facebook, which by the way, gets a yearly attention. Oh, March. There's one day I'll come home in March and I'll see my phone says like you have 238 notifications. I'm like, fuck is it that time of year already?

All right.

If you guys are lucky, we'll throw up a link to the picture or just the picture but I have been doing some editing with it. made a few different variations that I think he has a like I think you guys will find very funny. And I think you guys might look at me in a little bit of a different light after seeing. All I have to say is

you don't even look like the same person. No, I think it blew my mind. I was like that's not Do

you know any context about that picture? I have zero tax. Well, again, yeah, conversation for later. I'll tell you all about it. But cool. What the fuck are we doing today, Doug? Holy shit. Uh,

this week has been crazy. So like, I guess we're doing Nigerian prince scams. Yep. I wasn't supposed to be here for

No. Yeah, yeah. Mike was kidnapped. So here we are. I mean, thank you for such short notice being like Yeah, fuck my plans. I'm gonna come talk to strangers.

Absolutely, man. I could be at home like building gundams or something. Good. Like,

here I am drinking whiskey and talking about Nigerian scams.

Live in the boys Prince for a second Siberian.

What's the fucking word? So to give everyone kind of an idea what we're talking about. So it's technically it's called the advanced fee scam. not free. Like it says there autocorrect sucks. Advanced Duffy scam. Apparently the quote, Nigerian prince unquote, scam. If that's like a, it's an offensive title for it. I don't see why though. Just because there's a reason it was named that and it's because this particular scam is I don't wanna say only run out of

Has anyone ever received anything in return? No.

They've got

there's no they received nothing. They'd people just keep taking and taking and taking and taking and like this is obviously a lot of people know what this is because they've gotten the emails or they know somebody who's got an email. I mean, I think I used to work with somebody who fell for one of these Oh my God, I'm not gonna say names, details, because I feel like they'd be very embarrassed if I did so.

so much money, Jesus Christ. But if you don't know what

the advance fee scam is, is basically where somebody contacts you and promises you like a bunch of money due to some technicality or some like legal loophole and says all they need are the fees to release the money or like the fees to like, pay this person to help with like, the paperwork.

So let's, let's let's stop for a second. Okay. If I came up to you, and I was like, hey, I need $200 or five, you know, whatever, any amount. I need $200 you pull out $10,000 Why the fuck? Why the fuck am I giving it to you? Right?

Right. So one of the biggest things that I've seen anyway is like the, this was budgeted by our government and now it's going nowhere. And we've realized that you're related to so and so who do so and so who knew this person but it's like it's this. This is big convoluted thing. And, like, I know the surface of that sound like if you read that you would be like, no, go fuck you're like, why would I give you any amount of money? Right?

Yeah, I mean you that Yeah, cuz like shit I get emails from Chase Bank and I'm like this is actually Chase Bank

right? Absolutely happening if you read that a Nigerian prince is about to relinquish $20 million and needs somewhere to put it and apparently you are the best place to put it?

Would you believe that? Not for a goddamn second? Yeah, no, neither would I. But

the other side of that is there are people gullible enough to believe that. So if you can't if you think about it, sending out that ridiculous of a message just gets rid of all the people you don't want to talk to who are using their brains. And now you just have a pool of people who are like,

Oh my god, you have money for me like these sheltered, just like eight now that everyone under the age of 65 has left the room.

Let's talk to you people who are left.

Pretty Yes, no. I hate to say it. But yes, the boomer generation is one of the highest percentages of victims and under this scam, but not like it narrows your search pool to people who actually might fall for it. So like you and I it sounds fucking bonkers, right? Like it's just out of this goddamn world. Yeah. But if you were targeting gullible people to take money from wouldn't you make an outlandish claim to only land the people that you are trying to target? Oh,

God, I feel like I can just scam a bunch of old people now. I mean, we can. We'll talk about a lander. Yeah, we can?

Well, we'll think about that later. Um, so that's kind of what this is the advanced fee scam or the Nigerian prince scam. And the reason it's called that is because it's one of the like, staple lines that you're going to see in one of these emails. Other than all the misspellings and other shit is basically claiming that a Nigerian prince has a bunch of money for you.

And it's funny because we have some of the like, first recorded instances of the advanced fee fraud, which is more like this fraud, like that's happening is actually more modern version than we used to Oh, wait way, way, way more modern. And one of the variations which had been has been documented all the way back to the French Revolution actually. Shit kind of goes like this. Okay. A letter arrived describing an aristocrat aristocats that's who's running

yeah, so fucking like almost a quarter. Like this is a 25% success rate almost.

Yeah, so give or take a quarter of the people responded out of 100 letters 20 people respond I think it's 22 but it was 20 people Okay, so you know you're looking at about 1/5 of every not bad 100 letters is getting you know answered and possibly being paid out on and these guys are just making out like bandits pretty much I mean,

why why the fuck should they at this point like there's no there's no check. There's no checks and balances for this kind of shit. You hear something? Especially in letter form back then you're like, Oh,

this must be urgent. I want to like see one of these letters. I want to know what they were charging for the ship back in the day like yeah, was it like half a cow and like, hey, Penny, a penny. Like Well, what were they charging for those like what are they want

right now I've have you So have you ever actually like seen that? Have you come across one of these in your inbox.

I have not gotten a Nigerian prince scam in my inbox. I get a lot of the ones that I was getting back in like the like. I call it like the mid 2000s like to late 2000s I was always like, Hey, you have a virus, you need to pay us to help you get rid of it. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, bro. No,

no, I

do this for a living almost like I literally I'm literally going to school for computer engineering like I'm not an

idiot. Go fuck yourself.

Yeah, but that's all I saw mostly. So

one of the things that this scam has managed to do through the ages is evolve with the times. So like Doug said, It started off as like a letter that was written to wave like somebody in France, that basically what they wanted to do is bail, a prisoner out of jail, so they can go retrieve a bunch of money and then because they were so thankful they are no longer in jail is send you a bunch of money, right?

I would have been like, Yo, what like, Did you throw them jewels in?

Yeah, no, exactly. I just fucking like I'm free. I'm not in prison. I can come do this. But no, so the con is a guy's name not at the the French Revolution turning point of all this. But it was about a century later. It was popularized in the United States during the Spanish

let's keep in mind 100 plus years ago, yes, people were not thinking about this kind of shit on the rag.

No, no one can go to Google and just fucking be like, Well, hold on. Mr. Man. Let me just google where you're, like, learn everything about you real quick. There was none of that. You took everything at fucking face value back then. Basically, so Havana and Madrid they both offered like the perfect setting for the letters promises. So it was remote, but not inaccessible, exotic, but recognizable, and full of Pulitzers and Hearst's

Yeah, prisoners are like super stand up guys.

In prison. They're the like, the fucking pinnacle of sainthood. And, you know, why would they lie to you? Exactly. They shouldn't like they have a bunch of money they want to give you absolutely. So after they kind of got you on the hook, they would keep implementing more and more fees. And basically they would just fucking suck you dry of everything they could

that's what she's

basically just making sure they can take as much money as they can at one point because they have no intention of giving you money back. And one of the things that you run into when you're following this line of logic is I'm sure you've been there at some point with not this but other things. Is that like, well, I've already put so

I don't want to go too too much into this but for whatever reason this is making me remember stuff that we used to do in Runescape where we would scam people for their party hats Okay, and there was this like little thing you could do when you were trading that if you put a bit of string in your like next to some gold in your inventory with the gold it looked like it was more gold than it was like it made it look like it was like 1000 or a million gold instead of the light shit. Yeah, it was so

See Doug on the corner selling a fucking illicit cigarettes?

I got potterheads for you I got fucking lunex is

like what do you want black market party business that

fit your cat, this one's for people's doesn't matter whatever you need I got you.

So this is so this is essentially later, this all happens and this is kind of the thing that set this whole like it, it got this scam notorious because by 1910 the author Arthur train, which he if you don't know who he is, he's a fantastic fucking author back in the day.

But he said he's the john Grisham of his day,

I might say that he is the john Grisham of his day. He could actually casually allude to a letter in a short story, confident that his readers would know the characters being taken for a ride. So he basically just like, mine only lay out like, if you pay us money like this fee will you'll get a bunch back like and everybody knew what the fuck he was talking about. After that it remained. You know, the irony of this was lost on me until right now. It remained popular in the United States out

Can you can you imagine just being like, coked out of your mind. Like,

bro,

bro, I got a letter in the mail. Fucking trying to send me money. They hit the fucking jackpot.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I mean, everyone was so fucking deep. Like they were so sheltered. Like America was sheltered as shit throughout the 80s and 90s, even like now and we're seeing kind of the the adverse effects that's happening, as you see the giant rift between our generation and the next. That's again, a topic for another time. Yeah. But Lastly, the internet aided this

Thank you. And this is why we love you.

The Internet. Internet's a fantastic place. But as we also know, especially on this fucking podcast, can be a very terrifying and a horrible place to

then that so that's kind of why we wanted to cover this one. I know it's a little more silly than the things that we normally do. Yeah. But like, this is a perfect, perfect example of like, the things that you can see on the internet that are just like, Hey, I'm gonna believe this shit.

Right? And that explains so many flat earthers that explains the hollow earthers especially the fucking trumpets that parade their flags around saying he's coming back in August like all that shit. Like, all that makes more sense to me after researching this fucking topic, because you see how little effort that was put into it. Everyone's like, Oh, yeah. Oh, no, you didn't take it for a fucking ride, you asshole.

It's just it kind of blows my mind as much as I love reading the bullshit that is on the internet. Like I just can't believe like, I want to see a percent in front of me. That tells me how many people believe the things that they see on the internet or on a regular basis. Like

without hesitation.

Yeah. Like it will wake up Media says it like Well,

okay, yes, Wikipedia is a good starting point. Well, here's

the video on YouTube though.

Yeah. How does that exist? If it's not real,

but like literally somebody tweeted it?

Yeah, like how can you do that? If it's not real? It's it. Yeah, I'm gonna be so excited when that generation fucking dies I'm sorry to any of you out there that are part of that generation that are not fitting fitting the fucking stereotype. I don't hope that all of you

So here at the Liberty pod there's two things that we don't support ignoramuses and children Yeah.

Get out of here if you want a child cool but don't force me to have it will not end well for anybody. No.

So speaking of children this scam still to this day rakes in about $700,000 a year. Holy shit. Yeah, it's kind of ridiculous.

That's a lot of fucking money.

It's way more than it should be making

well Okay, so what's the actually keep talking? I'm gonna look up what the conversion rate from like, whatever the money is in Nigeria to US dollars.

Oh my God,

because there's only so much okay, I don't know what that is. But yeah, keep keep

there they even use in Nigeria.

I don't know. I don't know. There's so many different forms of money. Keyboard doesn't work actually.

Do you mind? Yeah, here hold on. I got I got you. Stuff things talking.

No, like, Nigerian $700,000 every year that are just people giving money to people asking for money. Sounds like a charity was your face.

One Nigerian nyrA nyrA I sure I may be mispronouncing it, but it's okay. In a IRA nyrA. Sounds like nyrA is point 00

to four cents. Oh my god. Um, okay, so the, the nyrA is much weaker than the dollar. So

if you have let's

say $700,000 how much in IRA is that?

Seven. Nope. That's a four. Nope, that's a four again god damn 700,000 Oh my God put 123456789999 commas three nine commas. That's about $287 million.

Holy fuck. Let's see. Yeah. 123 but again in nyrA 700,000. us is about 29 million nyrA no 280 200 million Jesus 287 million nyrA to 700,000 US dollars. Holy mother of god damn. Well, I'm

their fucking stinking Viet. Well, I

mean, think about they're, they're contacting a very wealthy nation and saying some stupid things. And the people are like, Oh, yeah. That fucking tracks.

Well here, why don't we talk about some people who actually fell for it and like fell for it hard.

Hell yeah. Abs a fucking lewdly Alright, so

first, first and foremost, we got we got a man named Fred Haynes already hate this guy. Just off his name. Don't like, Fred is like a name. I would give a cat or something. But that's different. If your name is Fred, I'm sorry.

Are we gonna fall back into like, what are dumb baby names?

I mean, it never ceases to you know, we'll get some content out there. That's fair. So Fred Haynes fell for the scam and lost over $100,000 so let's go back to the statistics, right? Yeah, we've got $100,000 right. Seven that's

that's 174 that's 40 something million nyrA

411 million for yet Jesus Christ or 4140?

Yeah. 41 million.

So he was in Kansas City. And a district attorney helped him get his money back there was bank and urged others there. You know, contact the attorney's office of this started happening to them. Okay, thankfully for him. He got his money back because like $100,000 is a lot of fucking money. But what year was this? That's great question. Oh,

okay. And here, we don't have another host here to like, help us out with that.

Does he? blamer I'm reading someone else's

Notes for this episode. We're in a bit of chaos right now. We all have some shit going on in our lives and we have had to just adapt and overcome. Yeah, if Orthon decides to take the host that made the outline and no, that's not really our fault, but we're making do that we can.

Yeah, we did decide that well, since we didn't know he was kidnapped until tonight, we did decide that we were just going to go ahead and record and I was just going to steal his note. So um,

yeah, I think it's going well so far. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Thank you, Mike, I guess.

Yeah, Thanks, Mike. There's no answer. That's weird.

Yeah, it is weird. Usually he has something to say.

So Fred Haynes got taken for 100 fucking $1,000. That's to my hand. Yeah. Does that the most amount

taken? Let's see. San Diego based businessman James Adler lost over 5 million,

5 million

and the advanced fee scam. So while a Court affirmed that various Nigerian government officials, including the governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria were directly involved, or indirectly involved we don't know and that Nigerian government officials could be sued in US courts under the commercial activity exception to the foreign Sovereign Immunities act. Adler was unable to get his money back due to the doctrine of on lean hands unclean unclean hands that's not correct

on unclean hands condemned mic everyone

123 unclean

hands cool. that weren't that one. Well, but okay, you said 5 million 5

million miles what

was the figure that you gave for average yearly? Oh my god 700,000 was the average yearly and this motherfucker got taken for five fucking million. Fucking why how? Okay,

hold on. Going back to the figures here.

Mass the podcast. 2 billion polio 2 billion Naira.

Oh God, whoever got his money? Should I hope they are not in Nigeria anymore?

Yeah, I you should be if you get 5 million US or I'm sorry, how much in Nairobi? 2 billion, 2 billion Naira? If you can't afford transportation for you and the people you live with out of your country like Jesus. Now again, I don't I don't want to say that we are shitting on the people of Nigeria. We are not we understand that unfortunate circumstances arise.

Right? Okay, so Hear me out. Okay. If you scammed someone for five mil. And you're in Nigeria would you try it again? before you left?

Damn, that is a good question. Because Yeah, right. Yeah,

I was shit want there it's this is like every fucking action movie ever there. Like just one more.

One more. And I get the fucking mentality though. Like I get it. You just got like the taste of paradise. And you're like, Well, that was easy.

So like, instead of being a gambling addict, they're a scam addict. They're like I just got some one more

one more scan just just one more so it's like the bender Rodriguez of the world is pretty much okay damn that's crazy though. That's so fucking that's so much money. Yeah, that's

a lot of money like 5 million is probably more than I'm ever gonna see my entire fucking life.

Yeah, I'll never see that. You guys

our listeners help us out. Yeah, we

love you.

We do love you. And if we make if we end up making $5 million off of this I promise you it will it will not be in our bank accounts for very long. I can tell you that much the majority of it's probably gonna go back into the podcast inside things but Jesus fucking Christ smartest nation in the world everybody in the United States getting taken for a ride.

You can 5 million air quotes Yeah. Oh,

holy shit. It's that's embarrassing.

So this next instance, actually takes kind of a Darker turn

darker than losing $5 million to some random asshole in Nigeria.

Let me let me just let me just set the scene for you. Okay.

faded exterior. Sorry magnified here.

We're in spirit trying to you know, you know send him good vibes to get away from Orthon. So, both semi Hitomi a Japanese businessman who was lured to Johannesburg, South Africa and kidnapped on September 26 2008, the kidnappers took him to albertan, south of Johannesburg, and demanded a 5 million ransom from his family double. So that I guess 5 million is just a common number that Nigerians

unfortunately, there are some dumb people in the world and like this. So okay, be honest. Out of all the scams that you've heard of, especially the one going around about the your extended warranty as well like, trying to reach extended warranty. Exactly. Kind of all the scams you've seen. I honestly feel like this one, like has the most potential to actually work, right? Like, especially if you look at it for your target audience is the most gullible people on the face of the fucking Earth.

I so I've mixed feelings just a little bit on this. I feel like this scam gets less credit than it should for how it is. But I think there's a better scam out there. And I was I was actually just I happenstance across this the other day, okay. And you know how I was talking earlier about how I have those. You have a fucking virus on your Yeah. So I was watching a tic tac, about a guy who was getting

Okay,

so he's like, Okay, I'm gonna take this address, and I'm gonna go to the address.

Right? him so he went, yeah, holy shit. Okay,

so he goes to this address, and it's just a random home on a random Street. And guess who answers the door?

I have no fucking idea who an old woman. So it was just obvious fake address that they get well, real address that was not theirs. This is

where it gets crazy. Oh, shit. So he asked the woman who goes hey, just so you know, someone's trying to scam me for $21,000. And they wanted me to send it to your address. Any idea why. And this old woman literally busts out crying, like straight crying to this guy. Fuck. And she's like, I sent $20,000 to scammers five years ago. And they took my money. Oh my god. And apparently, they were trying to give it back to her. I don't know why. And I

Like, fuck,

I don't know if they were going to take it from her or if they were actually going to get it back.

I mean that I would love to think that I also have been around long enough to know that that's probably not the case now.

But like they literally just wanted him to send a check to this woman's address. So like, that's we How would they get it?

Unless they the only logical explanation is that they scammed her. But again, the only logical path from that is if you're making me send $20,000 to this address, it means you want to pay this woman back.

And that's the thing like it wasn't an electronic check. It wasn't a like a debit card payment. Yeah, it was a cheque being sent to this woman's address. Nice. How would they get it? If they're, let's say in Nigeria?

That's fucking strange,

right? The I wish the video had gone a little longer and explained a little more but like it basically stopped at the point where she was like, I was scammed for this much money. And obviously it could be fake. It's the energy. Yeah, that's a wire.

But like if it was real, like that's the that's you? It's basically like somebody Okay, let's say you're a journalist and you stumble across like, a story of man tortures and kills 200 children to death, and all of a sudden you're like, let's talk to the pastry shop next door. What the fuck? Are you kidding me? Like, tell us like we want to know.

I know. I know. Yeah, but that's so that's that's where we are with as far as like actual scammers go Yeah, I don't have any other real world experiences.

I mean, aside from my a couple days ago, possibly. No, are we not touching that?

I don't know. I got I got a weird thing on my credit history that just like totally just bought raped my fucking credit score, but I don't really want to talk about that. All right. Well, we'll save that for later.

Yeah. memories that we look back. Over that time. was fresh.

Yeah, who knew? $53 can degra day your fucking credit score? 30 points. So anyways, well do Should we go over some like funny emails that these like?

What? What do you mean funny? Like,

you got to be a real dumb piece of shit to her.

Then, obviously, Yes, please. Okay,

okay. Okay, give me a second here.

God, I wish Mike were here because we could play a game that says he gets to tell us like now I would say real or fake because, but it's obviously real. But like some kind of game where if he gets it wrong, he takes drinks. He should be taking so many drinks right now. He is so he Okay, owes a lot, guys. I'm I am deathly serious right now. harass Mike. Just fucking get into his inbox, get onto his Facebook, tell him that

Yes, and random, unnecessary plug. But like, if you guys subscribe to our Patreon. If you listen to our bonus content, we have a bunch of funny things happening right now that you guys can be a part of it. Like we really want you guys to be a part of it. And like, you know, we do this for you guys. Like that's our main goal is to like, make you guys aware of what's happening and bring you into the fund.

We we have so many good ideas. And you guys are helping us make a lot of these possible, especially with the goal that we have set on Patreon. If you go to patreon.com slash the Louis pod, you can check it out,

or you can buy us a drink. And we have our goals listed there as well.

Absolutely. And the first one that we're doing is once we reach 20 patrons on Patreon we are going to record and release our very first wack a pure audio drama with some backup episodes of the actual gameplay. But we're all super excited about this. We have it's so it's an undetermined RPG that we're going to be doing especially because Doug sent me a fucking RPG that I really want to fucking play called a mothership. Yep, yep, I'm an alien fan. Like the entire alien universe is my fucking whole

Yes, yeah. But we're figuring

it out. We want to know which one we want to play with. But we want to record some live tabletop sessions of us playing these ridiculously complicated, but amazing games. And we want to turn them into a fucking audio drama. Because I swear to God, I have said this for the last like six years that any campaign of d&d or any other tabletop RPG could easily become a TV series, right? Yeah. And

the cool thing is we have like a couple different nuances for this we're going to be playing one RPG to actually build our world. Yeah, that we're going to record for you guys. Yeah. And then on top of that, we're going to record an audio drama of us playing it so like it's going to be like the best of both worlds. You're going to get the you know, if you're a fan of critical role or 20th dimension or whatever it is you like, like my brother, my brother and me or whatever it

Yeah. So we're gonna hit that comedy facet first. Especially when we're really seeing like the actual play audio, but we want to take that the whatever story unfolds and I wish I could tell you guys what would be but the fantastic thing about tabletop RPGs is the story is spun by the players. Yeah. So every episode we will release the fucking tabletop gaming audio of us just shooting the

We have some major content ready to go for you guys. And once we get the time and the resources, you guys are going to be swimming in fucking content and fucking great like, it's gonna be really fun for everyone.

It's gonna be fan fucking tastic we're gonna bring some we're going to bring somebody in that you guys have not heard on air before? Yep. We're still kind of figuring that part out. But like my mentality says that a good game consists of three or more players. Yeah,

you guys are probably going to be hearing new people. Every other episode or so. It's gonna be like, you know, obviously, we're not going to be having celebrities on our show. But you're going to be hearing voices.

No, we we've had celebrities on every episode. Until today. That's very true. Very true. Let's fucking cut the shit there. We are going to have that

long story short, is you're going to be hearing a bunch of different voices, you're going to be hearing you know, new new people that you've never heard before. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

And you're going to heat the most important thing is you're going to hear the inner workings of my fucking brain.

Oh, yeah. And

I don't know, I've been told that that's a scary and terrifying place sometimes. So you might want to check it out. It's very scary. But that being said, Enough plugging we're done with Patreon.

Let's get back to the episode.

Let's just fucking cover the mic thing. If you guys want to check us out if you want to share with your friends go to link tree comm slash delivery pod. Literally every social that we have is Facebook deleted by some something really, really bad. If you Google the luti pod or Dont Look Under The Internet, you will find this everywhere. But the easiest way to access all of our content and see what's happening new. And now is if you go to our link tree, which is linked g.com slash

Yeah, seriously, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, Patreon, Patreon coffee. Buy me a coffee tree. We're fucking everywhere. We're trying to get our name out. You guys know the deal.

So absolutely. And that being said not we're done. Are we doing housekeeping now? I think we're done with housekeeping. Okay, good. I have a fun idea. So this is pretty much the whole story of the advanced fee scam. Right?

Yeah, I mean, besides the funny emails that all we have to do is

Oh, what do you think we have to do anything but there's something I do want to do.

Can I can I just real quick, I want to read one Phone Email. Oh, yeah. Because honestly, I was looking through a bunch of them. And they're pretty much what you expect. Go for broken English. Terrible grammar. Yeah, but this one. This one fucking got me. All right.

So it says

I've zoomed in too much. Here we go. Okay, so Hi. Hi, Chris Grammer, we will play info we hold about you. So you can be sure this is genuine request. We have limited what you can do with your account, dear Chris grammar. But for now, you can still receive payments. Please take a minute to make sure the information we hold about you is up to date. We need to check this information with you every two years for legal reasons. So appreciate you taking the time

that. Yeah, Jesus. And this is guys, if you are worried about cybersecurity at all, this is like what we're dealing with. I guarantee the majority of you will never be the suspect of a cyber attack. Because if you're like either of us, you have some very mildly interesting things going on in your life. But apart from that, but if you receive this fucking email, and you respond to it, a please send us that whole conversation. We would love to go over it and also be just go to YouTube and

If they don't leave a fucking voicemail. It's not

It's not important, right? That's my fucking logic.

So I so I used to work at at&t for four years prior to me doing what I do now. Yeah, I would have so many people come into my stores, they would literally drive from their homes,

to my store to ask me if this email is legit. I can Okay, apparently I cannot work in tech sales. No,

it is the worst thing ever. at&t is a garbage company. I'm sorry, if you work for at&t, but just know that you're working for a bunch of stupid people if you can guess

not a sponsor.

But literally the things that people will come to you for that they don't understand in their email. That is fucking ridiculous, right? It's crazy. Like, literally, there'll be like, Hey, I got this email. And it's from like, you know, PayPal, saying that they need my Social Security. Like, why they don't? Why would they do that?

Like, if you have an account with them, they probably already have it. So they don't need it. No,

they don't. And most of the time, most companies, I want to say 99% just ballparking it says will never contact you via email for any

personal information. legit. That's the disclaimer given at the beginning of the fucking terms. Like you just got I hate to be that guy. But fucking at least at least skim the terms of service. Like, that's, you're agreeing to something. It's a legal binding contract. And I understand that, like everything that you download every app you download, every program you install all has this ship.

I promise you, you will not kick yourself in the ass for skimming the terms of service to make sure it's all fucking kosher. Like just do the due diligence, please. And if you're not going to skim the terms and conditions. If you ever get an email asking for sensitive information, like your fucking social, maybe stop and think hey, maybe I should call their

hotline or just fucking report it. Exactly. Just say like, Hey, I was told by the guy said Dont Look Under The Internet. Who definitely know what they're talking about.

We are legit people

just don't answer these. These fucking emails that ask for shit. Like the Nigerian prince scam? Do not. They're gonna ask you for all sorts of personal information. Don't fucking give that out. It's the internet. It's not your fucking immediate family. Like they don't even know it. Nope, not me.

So that being said, That being said, What's the scam that we're gonna make up? Hmm,

we need to come up with a scam. Okay, in honor of well, should we call him Mike? Or should we just call him Orthon? Well, let's see if he picks up. Okay, well, apparently, I'm sorry for wasting everybody's time. But we called just went to voicemail. And I, you know, I'm honestly starting to get a little worried about him. I mean, I know he goes off on these. He's a big boy. He is but like, he goes off on these little non like, off grid

I mean, it's I know, it seems like he's our child. He's definitely like the wild card of the group.

Oh, absolutely. So I mean, it wouldn't be irregular for him to just fucking go off grid for a week and come back and be like, Oh, nothing happened.

Now he also doesn't give us any details about his, you know, demon contract with Orthon. So

yeah, I'm fucking fascinated with that whole dynamic that like, I don't understand the kid like the kidnapping part because I thought he embodied or whatever.

We've talked him about it. I think.

Either way, I think that we should we should probably go look for Mike. Yeah. Yeah. At the very least. Like drive by his house. Maybe not too far away.

Maybe to find train tracks

that are wet. Gas and some cobblestone. Right. He gave us a whole description. Okay,

everybody.

We are about to go on a search for Mike. Because we need him back. We missed him. If you guys agree with us, please, please press one pound sign. Somebody agreed with us. Thanks. Either way, everybody, thank you so much for listening to this episode of Dont Look Under The Internet.

We try to,

like, break things up into, I don't know more fake and real, like we find the interesting shit and we find the real shit because unfortunately those two things are mostly it's mutually exclusive. But we try to find some interesting content and this one actually came to us from Mike. Yeah, so I think we at least owe him the service of spending 10 minutes to look for. or something.

Yeah, I guess he gets 10 minutes. And that's about it though. Right?

Yeah, the contract. Well,

we don't want we don't we don't need the people don't need to know about what we sound alone. If we don't find Mike, though, do expect lots of merge with his face on it. Free of royalties on our own. So Oh, yeah.

I have pedal. I have several stickers in mind.

Yeah, so you know, we'll definitely exploit his death in the best way possible. So don't think you know, we're in we're not doing anything for him. His family won't get any of the proceedings then. No, no. What part of our agreement?

Yeah. And he only that he owns wheel. his money is our money. Mi casa es mi casa. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, Doug, do you have anything to say the beautiful people? Yeah, um,

if you're not slapping in your, if you're not slapping your beans against your peens really, really hard tonight? Like I'm talking like, pasture a hard like, you need some passion behind them slaps like I'm talking like, knocking the wind out of your beans. Like your goal needs to be breaking the sound barrier, like Mach four. Yeah, at least being pain slapping. You're doing it wrong, first and foremost. And if you're not fax holing us yet.

Get the fuck on that. Yeah, I'm super disappointed that no one has provided a fax number. Like I know that they're rare. And I know that nobody fucking uses them anymore. But I'd like to use one to solicit your asshole to the

public. If you want to see my fax number because God damn it people.

That's what it's there for. And last, but not very fucking least. We are missing a member. And I think we fucking called it from one of the first episodes we did that Mike would be the first to be taken. Oh, absolutely. So if that does not reinforce our main mantra, which is stay fucking paranoid.

I don't know what does.

So if you didn't get it, you know, you should stay paranoid. You

usually stay buried. You just stay paradise. Just do it. Just fucking do it. Um, I have nothing else. I have zero else. If you guys if anybody out there has become a victim of one of these scams. Please get in contact with us. I promise you we will not shame you. We will not talk. Ill of you. We just want to know like what happened. We want to know the story. We just want to see how it worked. We're

or if you know someone that this did happen.

Yeah, let us know. Abs fucking lose. It's fucking hilarious.

And we are going to judge you in our minds, but not on the back. Yes, no, absolutely.

You know who else might have been a victim of one of these schemes? Have a theory? Go on. So Gargamel Oh, no,

no, no, no, no, no. Okay, no, I'm gonna go No, no, no, no, no, I refuse. I'm not nearly as drunk as I was.