Don't look we're talking about it's a metal band. Oh no,
no, I heard I heard rings of Saturn or neck or goblet,
so I don't really know No. sector. I guess I'll get there.
I heard a crazy news story. Yeah, me too. Yeah,
yeah. Are we thinking the same one?
I hope not. But I just wanted to I just wanted to share it. But
I'm gonna do my spotlight it's cool. No, I mean, this is perfect.
So this I read this thing this guy dogs off went to the hospital because he was putting a little little toy horses up his ass. Oh my god. Did he put like six or seven of them up there? Did he tried to explain away by saying I don't know what happened. My kid was playing with them and I just fell and sat down. I didn't get that far into the details, but they said that his condition is stable.
See, john, why do you got to take a bit? No, not that one specifically. Same exact type of real new. Okay, hey, don't fuck it. I got my own. I'm saying like, you fucking you draw us in with like this story and backstory. This is real. The same thing with the fucking birds.
I got them for days. All right, I got one more birds.
Speaking of news, I'm just gonna give out my news segment now. TMZ just recently dropped this sizzler of a scoop on us. Brie Larson was out in about one day eating an apple when they are taking a bunch of pictures of her and she dropped her apple. Luckily she was able just to bend down and grab it because it didn't like go past her feet.
Okay
TMZ reported that I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the Bri
Alright, I hope you guys enjoyed this. Welcome to Dont Look Under The Internet everybody because is starting and ending.
Welcome to Dont Look Under The Internet where two people here not naming them. Have a good time the other has right off the bat. That's you. That's Doug. Hi, Jason. Hello. And my name is Garfield and boy do I hate Mondays? I love me a lasagna.
Oh, do you? Have you seen Have you seen the Garfield comics without john?
Have you seen the Garfield comics was just john Yes.
Fantastic. All I can think of is the Garfield from fuckin Rick and Morty
field. There is a hate Momo moment on stage meat Canyon has this youtuber meat Canyon has a Garfield to say that. Say that sentence one more time. All I heard was meat cannon. burgers, youtuber meat Canyon is not Canada. Okay. Like the Grand Canyon. Okay, he has a Garfield cartoon up and he does like, really like fucked up parodies of these things. And it's john about to go on a date with a woman. And he's like, oh, stay outside. I'll be back in one second. I'm just gonna go take
care of my pets real quick. And he comes inside. He's like Garfield, why is there lasagna on the floor? And there's like this man who has like his hands tied behind his back and he's got like a blindfold on with like cat ears and a cat. And he's like, no, I'm sorry, john. He's like,
why are you talking? Guys? Don't talk. Funny. It's just the intro to like, porn. It could very well be or john just fucking well, john
Johnson insane man and you want to know about the other insane man?
That sounds like a smurf film. This sounds like does sound like a Segway? Or a bird. There you go. Thank you.
So what's our topic today? Doug, enlighten us.
Yeah, please tell us what the fuck we're doing here. Well,
we gave you guys a twofer for last couple episodes
for grace if you would remember him from that 70s show?
Honestly, I would say it's a half first because we thought it was gonna be one episode. It turned into three hours worth of content almost a little more, but however I will. I will say the fucking space pussy and demon penis land narratives kind of made up for all of the drawing that we did.
Well there's technically now that when you're hearing this episode, our other episode Gregory 88 is going to be out so I wanted to say we were giving you a small break but we're gonna just continue on with the one that I think about it. So one part episode ever
since Gregory 88 came out already too. I would like to I forgot to shout him out in the Greg radiate but my buddy Matt. He was the one that recommended
Greg, actually Yeah, I
thought you're gonna shout out Gregory Ada forgot to mention reg
Greg. Oh boy. No but thank you Matt. I forgot to mention that in our last step and Gregory one because I was I, you know, I get nervous for these recordings and I forget shit. So, but thank you, buddy.
The somebody else actually recommended that to me like when we literally I would say a week after we recorded um Have you been having strange dreams? So right off the bat? Wow. Yeah, they recommended this to me. They're on Reddit. I forget their fucking name. I'll if I remember to put it in the description. I will. Which don't hold your breath. But
this is a that was a fun one. Yeah, yeah, that was really good. I liked it. Yeah, Twitter. Twitter whore is good for especially because I'm a Twitter boy. Twitter whores. Anyway, but Doug, what was our last? What is our app? So now we're talking about insane people? What are we on? Right? Yeah,
yeah. So today we're gonna do a fun little creepy pasta. It's actually you're actually getting a twofer on this one.
Going back to the tos and again, this is not mean this is two episodes.
No, no. So we one of the one of the stories that I wanted to do for a while was the the dollmaker story, which is what we're going to be doing today but there's actually two fairly good ones that we found so we just decided we're going to do both of them and
and Matt so normally we only give these kind of hints to our patrons but just because it lined up so fucking perfectly. This week's episode has something to do with next week's as well.
Yeah, just a little a little theming dolls on the mind. What is happening in your corner? Like to probably have sex with this is the whole episode right? Yeah, no that go on Mike. Just keep it going.
new thing we can we can talk about like what we're doing while he's doing that. Oh, I'm done. Okay, well, nevermind. Oh, he's out. Okay. Bit so we're we're blowing past that. We are going to be sharing with you lovely people. Two stories today one about the original doll maker and the second about the other doll maker.
Yeah, the so we'll call this the so we're gonna read two stories. One is called the doll maker. And then the second story is called the doll maker. Not to be confused with the book, The doll maker or the Batman villain, or the or the actual serial killer who goes by the doll maker. We're not touching on him now. Yeah, like just
refer to this doll maker as doll maker. And the other one is doll maker. So there's no confusion
towards the deluzy. doll maker. Yeah, we can tie her name. So this Yeah, yeah. No, we can't we take credit for everything that we're about to arrange. Everything that we read is ours. We wrote it. Mike thought about saying this before it was written. You can't disprove
it. So he actually has a trademark on all of his thoughts.
So it's licensed through Yahoo.
Alright, well, if you guys are fucking ready, we're gonna dump
into this bad boy. Don't like, like you. We're gonna dump a dump into the dollmaker. Like you just got back from Chili's. And you just had those fajitas fresh off
the Southwest goddamn egg rolls. Come on. Oh,
those are fire but those are from Friday's
Yep. No, no, they
actually they do have them. write a book about. That's true. You do. I let you borrow the book stole your best life. Yeah, well, I prefer the Friday's ones.
Oh, well, you read my book enough. You can borrow it. You can take it home.
I will throw that book. Don't add a goblin.
Okay. Mike wants us to keep going. Let's talk about selfless aggro.
How about talking more about dumping?
I'm gonna jump into this next story like a, like a 52 year old man who lives in his mother's basement who just bought a real doll.
Okay, that's a lot of come burn too much. So I know that we've touched on Russia a lot. We're gonna keep doing it. Yeah, we're gonna keep touching on that right now. I'm touching you. For whatever reason. Russia has a bunch of creepy shit going on. Why
am I holding the the sickle and hammer.
But so we're going back to Russia for this one. And if any of you were kind of wondering about what people will do in Russia, for fun, this is absolutely this story for you. So I mean, you're not wrong. Let's just put it that way. It's It's a very, very, it's eel, Noni here. So,
it's a really don't want to get us off topic, but I'm about to get a sub topic, God. So a friend of mine reached out to me recently who I was really good friends with in like, Junior High in the high school. And she's Russian. And I posted something on Facebook about the death love pass. Okay, so yeah, she's like, why didn't you consult me about this stuff? That's
a fantastic question. Why didn't we consult her dog? I don't know. We don't we don't. We don't talk as
much as we used to anymore. She's got a busy life.
We're like super famous, like, people are gonna start coming out of the woodwork and say like, Hey, remember how we used to know each other for four seconds and time?
Yeah, yeah. I, I told her next time we do a Russian thing. I'll consult her. But I didn't think about this one. Because this one, we don't have to do any research on Russia per se. So you're failing her is my whole life and she can she can
attest to that. Either way, we are fucking going back to Russia. Because from what we're learning Russia is home to the most fucked up shit. So let's learn a little bit more about the daily life in a small Russian. Yeah, yeah, let's go fucking do it. My great grandfather was always a quiet man. For a fellow who'd spent the first half of his life in the USSR. You'd expect him to have some stories. And maybe he did. He just never told any of
them. Except for one. Once in the 1980s when I was laid off, thanks, Reagan. I picked up a side hobby of repairing antique dolls. My great grandfather absolutely hated this, which made things incredibly difficult as I was caring for him at the time. One day, I had finally had enough of his complaining.
Why? What is the issue with those product? They want to know why those things so much. Yes, please, please don't mean, I want to understand. I've kept silent for so long. But you want to know. So you shall. But I won't you know. You will wish you had known No, they asked.
The story my great grandfather told me is as follows. Well, my great grandfather was young, he served in the militia of a tiny village. From what I can gather, it was a relatively peaceful place. The occasional theft was all the militia really had to deal with. That is until the incident with the dollmaker on the outskirts of the village of the man who made dolls and other toys for a living. My great grandfather described him as a friendly but odd man with a wife
and six young daughters. He was I guess, an eccentric who was always trying to invent new kinds of toys and games for the village children. It sounds like he could never get it quite right. And some of his creations on that being the stuff of nightmares. He would take parts from a doll and use them to make trains. He would take out dolls eyes and fill their heads with a brightly colored scarves that children could, in theory, pull out and play with. But none of his ideas really took off. As
you might imagine. The doll maker became depressed. He grew increasingly despondent. Eventually, he started wandering around the village demanding the children take his toys and play with them. He would scream and cry if they didn't. The militia almost had to run him out of town. One day, as my great grandfather was making his rounds to the village, he was approached by the dollmaker his wife,
sir, you must help me. I don't know what to do. But my husband, he frightens me. He seems to frighten the great many people. Most of them children. No, you don't understand. something is very wrong with him. He doesn't eat. He doesn't sleep. I have to force him to wash. And he goes about with a stranger look in his eyes. He keeps mothering to himself saying big and new. The children must have something big and No. And the way he looks at me and the children I fear he might do
something terrible. Is he violent or? No. But I fear he may be console Ville. You go straight home and tell him that if he does not come to his senses and stop behaving in such strange manner, the village watch will have to pay him a visit.
As the story goes, the dollmaker his wife looked skeptical, but think my great grandfather nonetheless and hurried back home. It was at this point in the telling of the story that my great grandfather paused. I watched it all as a tear formed in his eye and rolled halfway down his cheek before it he wiped it away. Never before had I seen the man cry, it was quite some time before he resumed his tail. The dollmaker was almost never seen.
After that. He didn't come out to the village square like he normally did. It was clear that he hadn't left town because the lights would be on his home at night. But his shop never opened again after that. His wife and six daughters can still be seen in the village, running their daily errands. But even they disappeared after a while. Everyone assumed the dollmaker his wife had left him and taken the children. Other rumors began to swirl. Some people said the dollmaker went completely crazy.
Others said he was praying to Satan for the return of his wife. No one knew for sure, of course, and any attempt to make contact with him was with a Curt go away. I'm busy. The villagers curiosity about the dollmaker was just starting to die down when suddenly one day, he threw open his front door and ran from his home. He looked absolutely terrible. His skin was pale and stretched over his bones. heavy bags can be seen under his sunken eyes. He looked like a
walking corpse. And yet the smile on his face could not have been bigger. with wide eyes and a croaking hoarse voice. He ran through the streets and shouted Matryoshka Matryoshka. He reached the village square where a crowded gathered there he shouted to anyone within earshot Matryoshka at last. And then, according to my great grandfather, the doll maker fell to the ground and never moved again. He was confirmed soon afterwards, the man had died.
The task fell, of course, to the village militia to enter the man's home to determine exactly what had happened. My great grandfather said the first thing that hit them before they even went in, was the smell. He knew then that whatever they were in for, it wasn't good. Still, nothing could have prepared them for what they had found. Upon entering his workshop, several questions were answered at once. In case you didn't already know. Matryoshka is the name for those Russian nesting dolls. The
militia learned at once. Why this had been the doll makers last word. And they also knew what happened to the man's wife and daughters. Why wasn't that weird? I changed my voice. It went wrong. It went from oh hell. To me
whenever at least it wasn't like my godfather voice
was decent but wasn't I just
buki is better than Russian
than I could do? That was a spooky fun story
ease. I liked it a lot. It's fantastic. And we keep coming back to Russia.
Russia is just full of I think it's because their government is like kind of mysterious to where it's like yeah, we'll be doing some fucked up shit.
Changes are gonna be happening to the Russian government in the future. They okay they say are you talking Putin fucking like somebody is gonna replace me Yeah, when I die and I'm like you know who it's gonna paper for life is what you're right. Oh
no, Vladimir Putin is gonna be replaced with Vladimir buton him with a mustache on that's
all it's gonna be and I'm excited for that. Russia should just go with Vlad the Impaler
they yes so that's i that is an episode I would love to do is just Vlad the Impaler I know it's historically accurate but holy shit. He is inspired so many fucking modern urban legends it's not even funny. It's so good. Plus he loves marshmallows how how can you hate that person?
He because he again it he react because marshmallows he
looks at them stabs them and goes these things are fucking great.
Well, you know what, they'll be more you know what else is great?
What is great Mike gangs gangs wow with that. 180 Okay, let's He is the king of the bird scooter.
I wouldn't say King more like the idiot who decided to rent one and then fell over on it. Okay. With a bird scooter. They hit himself in the ankle multiple times with Sedbergh scooter. But that's the segue to the second fucking story.
You are doing so well in story about a doll maker. Do we want to mall Dacre? Do we want to jump right into that?
No, we're gonna jump right in. We're gonna like you just had Taco Bell at three in the morning. Yo, I had a call today, huh? So you're about to dump I'm about to
dump into this one here. Everybody let's fucking dump into this.
I want you to shit all over this one with that dump truck of an asset of yours, Mike.
Oh, me. Yeah, yeah, that's alright, I'll do it right now. Let's go.
There once was a man who made beautiful dogs of all shapes and sizes. Even made life size dolls. Many requested these expensive and exquisite dolls. And though these dolls brought the humble man a lot of money, he lived modestly with his young son vine. young boy is fascinated by his father's work. The doll parts and finished dolls filled the home. Each was unique and had their own beautiful personality. Vine would watch and fascination as his father would paint the delicate lips upon their pale
faces. He wants to be just like his father someday and create gorgeous works of art. One day a rich businessman requested an ornate life size doll from the humble dollmaker he went by the name gear. However, the doll maker refused to make the doll upon discovering gear was crooked and one of the doll for perverted means. Gear grew in rage at the makers refusal so enraged that he sent hired arms to get rid of the doll maker. The doll makers home was set
ablaze. He sacrificed himself to save his son from the flames. Vine watches and tear and dismay as his father burned alive before him. His tears only evaporated from the heat. As he washed his home, turned to rubble, and ash. He sobbed over the remains of his father surrounded by charred reminisce of his home of the beautiful ornate dolls. There are now melted, distorted, horrid disfigured atrocities of what
they once were. Via in search through the wreckage with his tiny hands, trying to find anything that may have survived the Blaze. In the end, all he could find was a life sized pink glass door lie. He kept it in his hands and held it close to his heart, his messy black locks falling in his face. The eye was all he had left. The child was the mere age of nine when he watched everything he had ever known be destroyed in an instant. Unfortunately, the tears were not over for the
child. gearhead has hired arms returned to the scene of the crime to make sure the dollmaker was truly dead. They found the charred corpse of the once great dollmaker However, they came across the child. Not sure what to do with the child they abducted him and took him to gear. Gear had no real means for the child but decided to keep him kept high to replace the doll he never received. He kept fine for three years, treating him like a doll in object playing with them. Vine was his
prisoner. The boy couldn't take any more and he began to lose himself. His mind began to deteriorate. One night while the man loomed over vine with him pinned to the bed, trying to play with him. Fine decided he didn't want to play anymore. Vine quickly grabbed a pen off the nightstand and began to stab it through the man's carotid. Blood gushed from the whole, it's splatter over the walls
floor invite himself. Vine had just killed a man for the first time as the body lay there stiffening find stole some money and quickly escaped. violence on the streets. He wanted to start up the family business again. To make dolls. He lived in an abandoned boarded up apartment in the bad part of town. With the money he stole. He got parts
and painted beautiful dolls. He sold them getting more money trading up, making more more beautiful dogs, more lifelike dolls, plastic, clay and porcelain no longer became enough to satisfy vine.
Breaking News missing tane murdered horrific scene was discovered at the town Park Emily Ryder brutally murdered. Here's what the autopsy has to say.
Cause of death, blood loss and shock found and will appear to be in an elegant hand stitched gown. The corners of Emily's mouth had been sewn into a small smile, with lips painted a deep red eyes gouged out and replaced with glass ones, fake eyelashes and painted makeup. her nails removed and replaced with fake ones. A frozen expression remained on her face. Her head was shaved and replaced with blue hairs sewn into her scalp, replacing her once blonde
locks. And perhaps the most disturbing, every joint in her body was popped out of their socket or broken, truly the work of a psychopathic killer.
examination notes it appears that Emily Ryder was very much alive when the killer started to mutilate her. She was alive she had her face sewn into place. Each lock of hair tediously sewn into her scalp and her eyes were gouged out. She was initially found on a park bench, put in place like a doll on display. This would explain perhaps why the joints were popped out of their sockets that would make it easier to display her in whatever way he pleased. By the way the killing
was executed. It appears that killer views his crimes as a work of art. Jason Harris, medical examiner
Emily was fine second murder, but a first of a string. He got a thrill and creating new dolls carving into them, making them beautiful. He was now 17 never caught, still living in abandoned homes, still killing. He had gone completely mad, though he did not believe so. One might describe as schizophrenic vine whoever thought he was fine. He lived in a reality he had created for himself in his own mind. He was not a killer. He was an artist. It artists who make beautiful
dolls. Mine prided himself in his work, but still saw himself as worthless, dirty used goods. In an attempt to make himself as beautiful as his dolls. He gouged out one of his own eyes and replaced it with the only thing he had left from his childhood, the glass eye. He then stitched half a smile into his lips. However, he did not finish the job. There was too much pain. He felt he failed and making some beautiful, leaving scars, leaving his face mutilated by his own hands. He
knows he has damaged goods. He knows he is worthless. All he can do is make people happy. By making his beautiful dolls. His work became quite popular in the newspapers and television broadcasts for displaying his art in public places. He loved the name given to him by the public to the dollmaker just like Daddy, right?
Let me make you beautiful. The covers So Mike is pissing his pants Can we? Well, you
know, I don't know why we're doing this voice.
I'm so sorry. Cuz you're so scared. So what do you guys think of the dollmaker I used stories.
I love those stories. That second one's my favorite person. Let's
see. I like the first one.
I like the like this guy making human dolls
thing. Oh, yeah, that's I I love the concept of it. I just in terms of like storytelling, I guess is what I'm talking about.
I like the way that the first story doesn't exactly tell you what happened. Yeah, like they tell you what happened without telling you. Yeah,
I just want to say real quick apology real fast. I just took a little sip of my whiskey and forgot I was by the mic for a second. So I took a I took a sip and I just don't
and that might have showed up on the audio. If I can get it out I will but if all this makes it in it'll be a treat for what happened.
Just know that Mike is the throat goat.
Only for teeth and dads. Oh boy. Yeah, well yeah for you. And if you subscribe to our $20 a month Patreon which is going to be called it's only fans. I'll do something to your dad Damn it now we keep it in tried I tried so hard. I do like the the dollmaker like I do like the dollmaker like it it's not like an original idea. There's so many like offshoots of this type of of this. Oh yeah. Like Like there's the dollmaker creepy pastas. We just read. There's, you know, a house
of x vibes. And Batman Ville, filmmaker
Batman has kind of I would say two villains that are kind of don't make it there's the dollmaker Professor peg is kind Yeah.
Professor pig gives me more like solid vibes
though. Oh, yeah, for sure. But I just mean because he turns people into these weird Zombie dolphin. There's also a really great book that my fiance Laurie recommends It is called the dollmaker is by Richard monton, Ari Dickman, but apparently, it's super good. And Laurie, I asked her what the book was called. And she just sent me like this giant paragraph on it. And she's like,
it's so awesome. She's like, in one part, he poses a dead girl on a park bench and it takes a whole long while for anyone to notice that she's
This reminds me of a creepy pasta know that we just read.
Was it a with Dexter? Where there was another serial killer that was posing people
like Trinity killer? I haven't seen desk ducks. Yeah,
the Trinity Calico. Yeah, yeah. Oh, is
it the episode in Dexter's Laboratory?
Where he can only speak French? He says omelette du fromage all the time. Yeah,
remember the episode where he? He had to say, forward make time go forward. Yeah. And then he had to say something backwards in order for it to go backward guys.
Have you ever seen that Dexter's lab? Where they run out of coffee? That's what he does. I'm probably not not gonna lie. It's a hilarious episode. Like literally like Dexter and Didi, drink all the coffee in the house. And then they're like, wide awake, like super early in the morning. Like they don't sleep and then the parents come down. There's no coffee. And they both just go like, Ah, it's so funny.
HBO Max, watch that show. It's on HBO max. Yeah. Oh, shit. That he's on there too.
I'm gonna say our ability to fucking derail Yeah, to take stepping stones from one topic to another and just use them as rail.
We've derailed more than poorly built train.
Oh, yeah. So but that's kind of our superpower. But yeah,
I wouldn't marry I would be very excited to see some sort of like mystery movie about something
or even a series there's probably some I'll look at I should have looked it up prior to those but I'm sure there's some movie out there that is exactly this Yeah,
I mean, this is this is kind of I mean, to that same extent and we were talking about the the Batman villain the dollmaker. But yeah, I feel like whenever they make like, Batman movie like an animated one where it's like every animated Batman movie it's always like, oh, Batman is fighting the Joker again. Like give me like the dollmaker
Yeah, you know, as much as I love the Joker i a lot of other Batman villains are
fucking pushing way to the side like Hush. Hush was pretty good. And that focus? Yeah, Riddler, which was awesome. And
it was one of my favorite fucking villains.
And along Halloween is kind of Riddler. S and calendar man asked which is cool, but
we shouldn't say this discussion for
now. We will. I'm just saying looking. dollmaker I would love I would love like a dollmaker Batman. Oh, fucking history. Absolutely.
Detective
movie. That'd be dope. Yeah, sure.
There's a good portion of the whole quarter of our series that has a part.
Yeah, that's a no. Is it? The lawmaker? Is that Professor Big?
I think it's I think you're right. I think it is Professor pig. Yeah,
it doesn't turn out like anyway, like he railed like a train.
So if you do happen to subscribe to our $5 Patreon tier, you're gonna get some bonus episodes. This is very reminiscent of this for me, because all we are doing right now is arguing about movies. And that's what our bonus episodes are kind of like yeah, although you are going to get to find out a lot more about me a lot more about Mike, specifically, and dug as well. Like we tend to divulge a bit more about our
personal lives. We tend to make up facts about the people who aren't here and decide if you think they're true or not like it's it's a good time. So
yeah, yeah, the more episodes the more bonus episodes that you guys you know, listen to the the Emperor wants to. Yeah, the F plus
the bonus episodes are not edited. So you're gonna get all of this. Yeah, you're
gonna you're gonna hear all the weird weird things on here smoking you're gonna get that sound
a lot. Yeah, like it's it's just us having a good time kind of decompressing after recording so
yeah, we have a dope audio track on the back of our afterdark
so sexy
it's called AC unit companies all of us
it's almost as cool Yeah.
No weed so on these episodes, we turn the AC off for you guys because we love you so much. We want this audio to be fucking crisp. And
we want to clear like especially open to pepsin No, no, no, no quisque crisp, crisp, like a crispy pubis.
Have you seen that picture of a fucking to face from crispy? And they like remove the nose portion
of the Small Faces. I think I think this seems like we're signing off your boys.
I don't know. I mean, we keep talking. What Do you guys want to hear what you guys want to talk about for a little bit?
I mean, we were we did expect this to be a shorter episode. I was kind of like, you know, let's not let's not roll into the roll back into the groove kind of episode.
Actually, we have a fucking great segue. Sorry, boot bit. Bird scooter on board that board school is great bird scooter. Because so these two stories that we've narrated to you kind of set up the next episode that we're going to be doing we are going to let you guys ruminate on that. Guess.
What? No, it's a baby voice.
It sounded like stitch.
Did sound like stitch? No, mommy.
Oh, sorry. I'm gonna be I can already tell. That's the voice of Siri. Mike.
I'm glad I'm friends with you.
You shouldn't be friends always the ones you know?
Because he won't get killed since he's
friends with you that it'll be harder for you to kill me or it'll be easier actually. Now,
I'm a psychopath. I've been lying throughout our whole friendship. Hmm.
things to think about later. Anyway, awkward. No. So the the dollmaker stories we just talked about are kind of a huge hint to whoever's listening to what our next episode is going to be. And the next episode we're doing is I'm super excited about it because it is confirmed to be either real or fake before we head into it, and I'm I can't wait to get into it. But don't make your stories. Oh. Oh, creepy as fuck.
Yeah, there it is. Some disturbing Yeah,
brown. Dude. Are you gonna see disturb signs gonna be fucking dropping plates? Here's something for your ear holes. Get
there it is. I can't I will. I couldn't do that voice. I can do what is it? mega death was Hello me. It's me again.
No, Eddie. Yeah. No, that's fucking Iron Maiden. Sorry.
I thought that was mega death. Oh, Eddie's tire. Maddie
is Iron Maiden. Yep. Back ways. Well, shit, we are a little bit of time to just kind of fucking talk we have already happen. What do we want to convey to the people I would like to convey? Do we want to ask them anything? Do we want to tell them you
know what I would like? Cuz one of the things I would love from everybody is a little bit. I'm not trying to force this upon you like an asshole. But if you guys want to, don't be shy to interact with us on social media, hopefully on Twitter, we have two of our Patreon subscribers that talk to us a lack in the goal. Yeah. And we talk to them a lot, too. Yeah. And I would, I would like to shout out real quick, because this might be an issue that
comes up. Okay. We care about our Patreon Patrons a lot yet aware. Yes. We already had an issue with one of our our patrons where
Yeah, actually, do you mind if I take it from here? Yeah. Before okay. So we we had an issue with?
Yeah, well, Nicole, thank you.
Yes, we had an issue on we love you Patreon. Where? So if you go to patreon and you subscribe to the $5 tier, you're gonna get a sticker and you get bonus content. Oh, no, I
was talking about what happened today. The sticker? Yeah. Is that what you're talking? Yeah, exactly. Oh, cool. Okay,
I'm just I'm just giving some reference. Okay. Yeah. So if you go and you go to the $5 tier, one of the things you're gonna get isn't exclusive as executive decision I called the computer creep logo as a sticker. Now, one of our patrons received the sticker and her child took said sticker and decided to just fucking destroy it.
Which is, you know, if I'm a child and I see a Topaz sticker like that,
you're gonna mess with it, too. Yeah, you're gonna enjoy it for four seconds and then realizes destroy
glamour. We don't support children.
So I don't I don't wait like legally or we don't really like the idea of children. I mean, that's fair. I I'm not having kids. I do if you are having kids fucking more power to you in a call. I'm having a kid. That's more patience than I could ever muster. At Yes, battle monsters. So what we're doing is we heard that a current patron just received their sticker and their child got a hold of it, and promptly fucking
destroyed it. Well, I just ordered a bunch of vinyl stickers as replacements, we're going to be pasting them all around like our hometowns to try and like help get awareness. But if you are a patron, and you receive a sticker, and something happens to me that please send us a picture of it. Tell us your story. about what happened. And it will send you a fucking brand. Yeah, yeah,
we you guys come first. Well, yeah,
exactly. It especially
you know, again in ragdoll zombie aka Nicole's instance because she was, I believe our
original patron. Yeah, the first one and she's the first to receive that much thank you so much and I again I want to say I'm very sorry that happened to you yeah and of course we're going to take care of you guys we're gonna we're gonna send their send you another sticker we're going to send you if you know later on the line if we hit like other merch or something and something gets messed up in shipping or damaged quickly or something we're gonna help you
guys out Yeah, I get it. I yeah, I've been on that receiving end where I get something in the mail and it gets fucked up and it's like man And the
worst part is seller does nothing to help you and it sucks and the worst part is like you like you know that it's your fault that it's fucked up. But like part of your brain had to break Yeah, part of your brain is like I just I waited for this I paid for this
please Oh, especially because we makes you wait like a couple months for this to make you wait for you to get it for a couple days and it'd be damaged so we're gonna take care of you guys if you have any problems of Patreon stuff message us like Jason said some picture of it being damaged. Plus, if you fucking join our Patreon you're gonna hear us being stupid without the context.
Yeah, my opinion is better. We have no holds barred I would like
to think I really just want to I'm gonna I'm gonna cut you off. You're like I just want to say about the whole sticker thing is if you do get a sticker and you do happen to slap it somewhere random in your town send us a fucking picture Yeah, I guess in it like do all that hashtag like I know I'm going to be personally grabbing a buttload of stickers and slapping them around Indianapolis and then
I would love to take a trip to Portland you have to slap some fucking stickers
we get that oh yes yeah they'll pay for Yeah,
hashtag it if you do post a picture of the the sticker tag is senate and hashtag D pod because I checked that hashtag daily. So if you want to reach out to us either tag us or something or hashtag duty pod is the best way to get in touch. Besides you know obviously emailing us or getting dming us
directly or something. Speaking of dming I would like to just shout out our link tree real quick though healing tree comm slash Dooley pod is the I would say easiest way to get to all of our our social stuff.
Yeah, it's all fucking right there.
Or you just find us under duty pod everywhere or Dont Look Under The Internet everywhere as well.
Absolutely can also find us@patreon.com slash the loony pod. You can also buy us a beer Mike, as you guys know if you have been listening to this religiously, which I hope you have been. We drink a fuckload on this podcast you
if you do buy me a beer. I'm not a huge beer drinker. It's so if I get money for it, no, if I get it, there's no
bias of whiskey options. So
if we get enough money for like a beer or something and I get a hold beer to myself, I will personally take a video of me doing my best to chug it. Without beating it up. Yeah, toddler. I will send that video to you.
Yeah. So look us up. Look up on a goodie about Chuck. Let's see how it goes on buy me a coffee, just look up delivery pod. We're right there.
Like I said, we're delivery pod or don't look at the Internet.
If you guys like what we're doing, and you think we deserve a beer each. Go ahead and buy us a beer please.
You'll see that link in our descriptions as well. So
yeah, and I again, we are very, very, very audience oriented. So whenever the audience that we are talking to tends to interact with us, whether that be buying us a beer, subscribing to Patreon, and also some fucking social, like any of those things, we were super engaging. So don't be surprised to quote
the weekend. Go tell your friends about it. It's one of his songs. It's
one of the things I was gonna say is the more you interact with us on social media is to we take a lot of like behind the scenes stuff that like you. If you interact with us the correct way you might get sent that dm to you. Yes, yeah, actually,
by the time this is posted, the changes will already be about button. We're about to go Oh, revamp Oh yeah,
we just so we spent 2.0. So we spent a day recording two episodes so we can spend another day of recording, not recording. And that day was spent completely revamping what we're doing with a lot of our image, a lot of our Patreon a lot of every year we sold a few lands. They're super exciting. And I want all of you fuckers to be a part of it. Yep.
And with that new revamping, I will say if for whatever reason you felt you got in contact with us or tried to and you felt unheard. Do it again, because everything was just kind of like a buck shot to the wall. It was just kind of scattered all around. We didn't really have or
there's no rhyme and reason.
We had no system now we do. So get back in contact with us before and we didn't reach back to you.
But again, because we will see you this time we will hear you and if you still feel, you know invalidated by whatever method of delivery You decided to Jason's address
is three? Okay? No,
no, no if you'd like if you feel like you've tried to reach out to us and we just haven't gotten back to you like I'm going to preemptively apologize. We are we are all working full time jobs right now while trying to do this because we are trying to make this into like a full time thing. I would love to be able to sit here and talk to you guys. And just drink about creepy topics all the time. That'd be amazing. And
that can happen very easily. All it takes is you guys interacting with us go onto our Facebook, go onto our Twitter just just met just talk to us.
Oh, and there's a there's a new way to contact us
to there is. Okay, so we have a fucking fantastic way to get in touch with us. We got a Google Voice number. And I will give you guys a split second to just kind of prep your pens and your pads. Grab your peens and your wins, please text us call us at this number. leave a voicemail. Like if I'm being honest. Unless it's like Wednesday at 10pm I probably won't pick up just because we're all very fucking busy throughout
the week. But if you would like to leave us a voicemail, if you'd like to call us leave us a text message does not matter. This is the number to do it with.
Yes. And I will say if you leave us a voicemail, we will put it on the show. Oh, absolutely and react to it on the show. Give us more text messages as well.
I guess we'll read them off on the show. Now I want to say there was a part in one of our other episodes where Mike said we're going to draw them randomly out of a hat but I've vetoed that. And I've decided that if you leave a good enough voicemail one that is better than the rest.
Yeah, hell no. Hell no if you leave a fucking voicemail that just says poopoo PP,
I will play it here. Well, depending on how many we can fit into one episode and fuck it. Well, we'll put whatever we want. You have a good ass fucking voicemail and tax whatever it is.
Well, so if you guys leave us some nice messages we will we will probably develop a new segment somewhere in the episode where we're gonna like either take a break from the content or we will close out all the content with whatever the fuck you decide to send us. It could be a picture of a I don't know Lou child with a beard that says goats tastes like mushrooms or whatever the fuck you
have in your book could be the picture of loose teeth from the slave person that you keep in boarded up in your cellar basement and feed on every flavor on the twilight of every new moon. You raise the number of Bolin bits only to see him starve and see the sadness in his eyes grow and the happiness fade into the ever knowing oblivion that is his cat. Oh,
have you ever just wanted to like scream like Shut the fuck up at the top of your lungs? But you know you can read in a building that phone number is the phone
number that you need to reach us is 63090993661 more time up up up 63090993661 more
time for the rule of three.
Yeah, fuck you. I'm not doing that.
6309093 6x
perfect. you're tuning in to luti radio even
in your contacts has diluted but stuff
for Mike the tooth.
You can send us pictures. If you want to talk
send words of offering to Orthon the collector please send that for you. And if we get enough of those we will definitely start a cult following Are you more fun Doug and I will start a religion and pray to for some
yeah send
Mike your teeth. Sammy your pains or your beans and send Jason something I don't know who send Jason pictures of a surgery. You've had whole
fucking please and I can critique how well they close that goddamn wound. Yeah, let's
fucking let's go that route.
I love that. I will respond because I'm interested. Do you have something else do you want to save them?
Do I yeah. Oh, I do. Okay, God, should I say it now? Should
I say my thing first? Do you want to close on here?
I mean, it doesn't matter to me. I just think that the message of what I normally have to say to the people is ghost impactful and like it's the last
I will do it first put in put in your old VHS tape of the Winnie the Pooh the Christmas special. And fucking jack off to it. What jack off to it. I don't have that be jack off to Jason Go ahead.
I guess with that, please stay paranoid and jack off to jack off to it.
prefer if you guys have the VHS of the Chipmunks singing kick off
the rest of the episodes by the way.