Don't look under the internet.
elbows for knees or knees for elbows, which would be
I want to say they work the same way. No,
you're dumb. Because like, this way Exactly, yeah. If you had knees for elbows, your elbows would be kinda like ostrich legs. You know what I mean? Like bending backwards. Yes. And you're, you're out your knees. I'm confused now.
Can I opt into not doing either? No, you
have to do one or the other.
Mike has confused himself. Once again.
I saw a video on tik tok today, where that was exactly what was going on the guy's
whole other backwards. Yeah.
Oh my god,
someone already made the decision. Dont Look Under The Internet. Everybody. We have a special guest today due for Mother's Day, we decided to have a really awesome mom on the show. We have Doug's mom, Mama, Doug. Give us a round round of applause from
the audience.
Turn on the sign this time. All right. Yes,
yes. That's all for you. All right, no, shut off.
free time.
You gotta watch. If you don't show them who's in control, then they just step all over you and the last thing we want. It's like that scene from A Bug's Life. where he's like on one hand rises up. They all do if you let one AUDIENCE MEMBER just out of term. And then all of them will. So you just got to
Well, that's why we killed half of them last time. Yeah. And now the rest of them are in the the backrooms
debating them back with no, they took them there. I mean, we kind of just said, Hey, figure it out. You don't get to listen to this. Explain how you get out. But you can. You'll figure it out here for the other one. This
is a new audience. Oh, yes. 2.0
we bought a new audience. Yeah. Okay. We have that kind of money. They're all bear. Thank you.
Thank you. stimulus check. Yes. Mama dog. Tell us a little bit about yourself that you're wanting to share with
you. Yeah. What's the occasion? What? Why? Where are you here today?
Well, you asked me to come here.
He's not wrong at all.
I'm visiting from Phoenix. Where it's warm. Now, like here, because I wanted to spend Mother's Day with mice.
Oh, doggles.
Yeah, we did a whole lot of nothing. It's been real nice.
I can imagine. Well, awesome. Thank you so so, so much for joining us today. We're very happy to have you. Do we know what we're doing?
I have not really much information on this.
Well, we'll give you a hint. Because it's mom day. It is mom day related. We do a bunch of creepy pastas. Much of spooky spin gets around here so you can imagine what we have lined up. We have a creepy podcast called waiting for mom. That's what I was getting past. What I say creepy. Creepy
rebranding. Creepy pastor creepy podcast creepy mom now
and we thought we go sad be me. We thought we go a little spooky on this mom day. So
absolutely. Especially when we had a fresh set of lungs on the audio recording deck. I think that'd be really refreshing. Yeah, let let people hear other voices that are not us anymore. Absolutely. Before we kind of get into that I do want to know, Mama dog. What is the most embarrassing thing that Doug has done? First thing that comes to your mind? Hmm.
We were once when we lived in Spain. It was rather embarrassing.
When we list the Olive Garden thing. Hardee's Hardee's right.
knew he was about three, four years old and we went to Hardee's to eat. And we got our food and we were sitting in the booth and he was actually standing in the booth. Of course,
like the rebellious dog that he is
and all of a sudden he threw up right into his food.
You ruin family dinner
parties.
This triple bacon burger. Son of
a bitch. I just happen to have an extra thing of secret sauce for the table.
Thank you for that. Well, well now that you all know Doug a little bit better, I kind
of wish that happened at the Olive Garden like you thought it did. Cuz it would have had more of an impact on
you. And it's a hard it's already.
Yeah. If anything that's just adding to the field health code that they already had. If it was the olive garden has been more prestigious. I mean, they're staged. Speaking of, you know, food. We have a story about a mom who went to go get food. And something that happened in the meantime.
Yeah, that was the worst bird scooter ever. segway, it was even more terrible. You fucking come up with one.
If you guys want to appreciate what I have, then why do I even bring it to the table?
So okay, what what are we? What are we covering today?
We're waiting for mom. We're waiting for waiting for mom. That's a creepy pasta about a boy's mom.
How long? How long do we wait? Just keep waiting till my leg stops being asleep because oh my god, the static is real right now.
Let's just let's just jump into this one shot.
Like my mom is in the room.
let's dump extra hard and creepy pasta for mom. Take it away.
Mom. I was home alone on a Tuesday night. It was spring break. And despite all the things my parents wanted me to do, go to the mall with friends see a movie catch up on my reading. I had really nothing going on. For the past five days, I've spent my free time sitting in front of the TV and drawing my favorite Marvel superheroes. Well, tonight was different. As usual, I was watching comedy shows and drawing my favorite characters and the people I shipped them
with. My dad was on a business trip for the next two days and my mom was running what she liked to call late night errands. Before she left, she had asked me if I wanted to come. I told her no because well, I just didn't want to go. I was a kid and I thought watching TV was way more exciting than waiting in line for groceries or a package. It was around 11pm when I started wondering why my mom wasn't home
yet. Usually she would have been home about two hours ago telling me to go to bed because it was and I quote too late for a 15 year old to still be up at this hour. Not that I would have gotten asleep right away. I'd probably be on my phone for the next hour or so until I got tired or bored. But right now my mom was not here to tell me what to do. If we had been keeping track of how long it would take my mom to shop, this would have been a new world record. Then
the garage door opened. About time I thought I was actually tired at this point was kind of hoping my mom would arrive soon so that I wouldn't fall asleep. Then my mom would have had to find a new way into the house. I remember ever since I was 10 my mom would leave me home alone and whenever she got home, I would walk to the door that led to our garage and wait for the engine of her car to turn off before unlocking and opening the door for her. I got up from the couch and trudge towards the
door. I quietly listened for the engine to home and then get cut off. Listen for my mom's high heels to click towards me quietly at first, but gradually getting louder. But when I stopped to listen, all I heard was silence. It was like I'd gone deaf instantly. I heard nothing in the house or outside in the garage. No engine running. Nothing. Not even my mom's clicking high heels sounded behind the lock door. Charlie, please unlock the door.
What's the secret pass code?
Charlie, please unlock the door. Wrong.
I left and began unlocking the door. We had five locks on our garage, front and back door. My mom like playing it safe when it came to leaving her only child home alone. The correct
answer was Charlie unlocked the door. Why do you keep saying that?
I froze where I stood keeping my fingers on the third lock. This was a little weird. My mom has never even spoken to me through the door. And why was she repeating the same thing to me? Are you okay mom? Charlie, please unlock the door. The way she said my name was the creepiest part. After hearing it four times I started to sound like an echo. In fact, by The fourth time Charlie didn't even sound like a name anymore, or a word. I took my fingers off the third lock and backed away from
the door. It was still quiet in the house, but the further I backed away, the more my name seemed to echo from the garage. Lock the door. I wanted to scream. I wanted to open the door and stab what was ever on the other side with a knife. Have I gone crazy? Holding my head with my hands out of annoyance in the mess of headache I had just gotten. I wanted it to end but hadn't even been going on for five minutes and already the front door open.
I was about to cry out like a frightened five year old girl. When I heard a familiar clicking noise. My mom was home. I ran up to her she was gently setting her groceries down on the floor preparing to take her coat and shoes off. I embraced her before she got the chance.
What's the occasion?
I'm just glad that you're home mom.
Did you watch that? Don't be afraid of that dark thing again.
No, just the Bonny man massacre.
You know I hate it when you watch those things right before bed. As a matter of fact, you should go brush your teeth, slip on your PJs and head to bed
or not. But I did want to read a little bit before bed. So I went to the family room to get my book from my backpack. I couldn't wait to just sit in bed for another 20 minutes and just read my new book. It was always a way of ending another day. And then I looked outside our driveway was invisible in the black of night. Except for the basketball hoop that stood off towards the side of our lawn. But usually if something was in the driveway we wouldn't be able
to see it shape. And this time there was no car
oh my god so spooky scary.
That was something else I you've ruffled Mike's Jimmy Yeah,
I pee peed a little not in here. Round of applause everyone for mama dogs.
Yes, please acting we have our our guest voice actor your sag and your sag check is in the mail. If I'm being her voice kind of made the whole thing.
And now we have Elvis in here.
Apparently Elvis is here too.
But Doug, you said you have a couple more Mother's Day factoids for us. Yeah, I
mean, I was trying to find some like good spooky dark Mother's Day history stuff and I'm not that dark. They're not well all the fucking in my mind all of the dark Mother's Day references just fall on Casey Anthony. That's a whole episode on. And like, I just don't feel right. Just fucking picking the low hanging fruit there.
Now she's a terrible person. We'll get that. Yeah. But I mean, so if you guys wanted to know, Mother's Day was actually like I want to say even so the the official days or the official year is 1914 is when Mother's Day was signed into law 1914 I want to say it was Woodrow Wilson please fact check me but I'm pretty sure that's who signed it into law. Okay, most of the world celebrates this regardless of it. Being a law is bullshit.
You want a mother's day? Let's let me let me explain a little bit. So this woman basically was very adamant about having what we know as Mother's Day because back in the day, a lot of childbirth didn't go so great because unsterile situations and not enough you know medical research having been like been done
of source to scalpels clean water.
I put the baby in the bucket like what do you want from me? It's still wet from the last fucking operation. I did. Obviously it's still clean,
lubricated. Yeah.
So what there's you know, Billy Bob's blood in the bucket. It's blood, the same substance, I get it. But basically, this woman fought for it for a long time. And then finally her daughter actually ended up being like, hey, my mom died and wanted this to be a thing. And then she kind of went in and got it done. So it's it's really not that exciting of a story. But uh, it's creepy as fuck, though. A little morbid. Yeah, just a bit.
But to be fair, the Greeks actually celebrated Mother's Day in a different way back in the day because they you know, they celebrated the the Got a hot in here? Does it sound hot? Is that what that noise is? I'm
putting up a storm. So
we've like put your cock away. Okay, technically we have two guests in the house tonight. One is the very illustrious the very famous mama Doug, who has decided to dedicate her night to helping our podcast. Her last night in town and the other Yeah, the other is my fucking dog Finley who is distracting Mike right now because his face is in his crotch,
you Good boy.
And you can take that however you want. He's a good boy. That's not healthy. Yes. A good boy. He is a good boy. Mike, you and Laura need to talk about a couple things. One of which being a dog. The other being my crotch. Yes. And the noises that Finley is making? Yeah, he's making some gurgling noises down there
was was was that it with your?
Yeah, that's about it. That's all I could find. That was like, honestly interesting to me. Obviously, the Greek celebrate, you know, multitude of gods and their different things that happens. You know, I actually do have one little tidbit of information about Mother's Day. And it's that on Mother's Day, the female committed crimes dropped by like a like a fuck, I don't know the exact percentage but they go way
down. Which leads me to believe that you motherfuckers on every other day of the year, all of you moms are just committing acts of theft and other crimes. Why is it so low on Mother's Day? Oh, hell yeah.
Mama dog when do you commit your crimes? is on Mother's Day or is on other days of the year? Yeah. When do you prefer other day? Most other days? Okay. That's fair. Oh. Throw the police off your trail.
I still have the hiccups. I'm your dad and I of course, dopes voters.
Say it like that. Say it proud and say it out loud. It's illegal most places nowadays. Yeah. And everyone knows what
it is. It's here and in Arizona. Oh, yeah. But we would go into the bathroom.
When I was young, right. Yesterday,
and we still hiccuping
That's okay. That's okay. Everyone, please forgive mama dog. I've been feeding her non stop. And this is kind of the treatment we give all of our guests.
But we would go in to the bathroom and smoke to throw him off. And yet he was in the basement doing this. He does not smoke now.
I don't but it's funny to wise. She's super right about
oh my god. The funniest thing was when I used to smoke Virginia slums. Okay. And they were
super long. Oh, yeah. So I would smell super skinny. Yeah,
yeah. So I would smoke a half a one. And then so she
she would she would leave it in the garage like she would smoke a half a cigarette in the garage and she'd leave it in an ashtray in the garage. Okay, just for context.
I would go into the garage. And there was Doug and Nick the
TGA all your old buddies
in the car.
Hey, everybody, we are
sewers smoke, and
we're getting a great look into Doug's past here. He did. He does not do that anymore. No. I can vouch for that. It was funny. I remember the first time you caught it was me and Adam. I want to say
no The first time I caught you was with you and lady. Oh my god.
Story. Yeah. nitti Oh, God, I don't want to go. But long story short, we were getting high and like, in my basement like making out doing weird things. And she like walked down in the middle of us. Yep, getting high. Being teenagers and it was so awkward. Oh my god. But to come back to the story you were telling about in the garage, so me and my buddy Adam. We were We were literally smoking a blunt okay in my car parked in the garage. Okay, there was smoke billowing in the car.
Oh, so you guys were hotboxing Oh yeah, no we are like parked in the garage just boxing my like hot box in my car. Like so she comes out and smokes a cigarette, flips the lights on in the garage. And we're like in pitch black just like smoking in my car like shooting the shit like in high
and they all look over at me. I
hadn't we were like, I hope she didn't notice. deer in the headlights. She didn't say a damn word though. She comes out smokes a cigarette and goes back. Just like stones. Okay. Finish this now.
Don't move but mom's visions based on she'll never see
we were Hi. So basically,
but you and nitti was the first time you and nitti know we're in the basement. And I walk down into the basement. And I see that and I just was just like
keep in mind this is an audio show when you do the walkaway sign. They can't see that.
Sorry. But basically the live audience live studio audience can absolutely see all of us they'll report back Yeah, they'll they're filming once we add them.
Now that was the first time I
have not changed the topic but I did remember a few days back I posted on our socials like because I forgot to post on the socials. I was like, Hey,
hey,
give us a question. We'll answer it on the podcast. I got a few responses Did you
yeah so From who? I am wait before we ask these questions. I think Mike you Doug and I should bow out of this. This is gonna be like mom wisdom Yeah, like I don't know what the questions are though. Yeah, that's that's fine
yeah there's no such thing as mom was there is
if you would like if you are a loved one or a hated one would like to send us a message on any of our socials were at pod at everything DLUTI icon org on our link tree comm slash duty pod you'll find all of our links there our first question is from presumably Kelly kk underscore Murphy.
Yeah. We do know the right lead you know, Kelly, she asks,
Why do you Why do you have to get your Jimmy's all rattled over the duck tails? For those of you that don't remember we have the Scrooge make faac picture posted on our sales you can find it there.
That's not even the whole picture just saying.
So tell me boys. Why do we get our Jimmy's off? And all rattled over the DuckTales mama Doug,
would you like to chime in?
Well, you call me a guy for one thing.
Guys. guys and gals Get your shit together. Mike. Why do you get your Jimmy's off over the duck tails?
I do not.
Okay, you know what duck tails are though. Yeah.
Whoo. Well, hell yeah.
Everybody should know what that is
a child who is his son?
I am a child who is a song every day we're out there DuckTales I Oh, God. We never posted the whole video. No, we did. Oh, we're sitting on something. Yeah,
we're golden my
fucking explode it is. I think Kelly's gonna be very upset with the response perfect answers to post the video.
Well, yeah, it's gonna be on our Instagram now. Also on Instagram fuckit bucket asked put the hole in my apartment wall.
So for all of you who don't know who fucking bucket is. That is my roommate Ryan. He's a piece of shit. Not according to the story though. Well, no, this story makes him look like a saint. Luke's meal
giant house want
to context clues? Yes.
You have a story to tell. Yeah, who put the fucking hole in his apartment wall. Doug.
You guys want a great story? All right. Oh, guys. Drink this whiskey while you do that. So before we had the idea for this podcast, me and me and Jason decided that we were going to do what we call a 72 hour board game extravaganza. My
God Allah God did you really
No, actually, it was like 12 hours 12 to 12 hours.
I mean, that's that's pretty short for us. So long story short, the weekend did not go as planned. But we did get together one of the days I think it was a Saturday, we played some board games. And then we did what we would call the hot wing challenge. Oh, I don't ever do that. So I have a bunch of the hot ones hot wing sauces. And then I have a bunch of other ones that have just
bought through the time. So we've made a bunch of wings and fucking slathered that shit up and went from the you know, the least hot to the most hot if ever any of you have had a sauce called duck bomb.
Oh, don't do it. No, it's great. Actually, it tastes very good. It's fantastic. She's fucking front door. It's
one of those episodes maybe?
Yeah, that's every episode.
So to make an incredibly long story short, we do a hoppings challenge everyone sobers up, and then we're like, Damn, like we're all sober now. Let's drink really really hard to make up for the fact that we're all sober now. We're sober. So we just fucking slam like a handle a jack, we have Maker's Mark. We got James like, literally, we had so much alcohol. It was stupid. And then morning happened morning.
Dawn approached, I wake up the dawn of a new day, being none the wiser to what had happened. And then the least knock on our door. So yeah, so it's like 738 o'clock in the morning, the fucking police knock on his door. And our buddy Ryan wakes up goes and answers it and is like, Hello, whatever. This is. Yeah, um,
we got reports that somebody might have gotten hurt and might be bleeding and head left. Like, do you guys know who that might have been? And so at this point, I wake up, I'm on the couch. It's super early. And I see the police talking to Ryan I'm like, Oh, okay. I hear kind of what they're saying. I'm like, Okay, this doesn't concern me. I don't fucking live here. I'll go to the bathroom. Like put water on my face cuz I'm hungover as hell. Oh, yeah.
Oh, come back out. The police are now gone. Apparently Ryan had talked them away from suspecting anybody the in part in the apartment. Because Well, I don't think he knew when he was talking to them. That's also fair. I don't think anybody
knew until I collaborated. Yeah, we found your glasses till we found my glasses until we heard the story from Kelly from when I call Hey, it's three in the morning it's the middle of winter I'm walking home now a 25 minute drive away which is like a three hour walk or more yeah fucking ridiculous especially there was so like let me reiterate this there was so much snow out like I'm talking like a foot and a half of snow. Yeah,
well y'all got too drunk.
I didn't give a fuck no, we went hard and we had a good time but hard but so the reason for all of this drama with the police and Kelly and everyone like talking about like what the fuck is happening is because you're hitting your head into the wall
there was a hole through the fucking drywall. I guess the stucco. I don't know what it is. It's like that popcorn. Yeah, is this no bullshit. There's a whole pretty much directly through from the inside to the outside. splattered with blood there's bloody handprints around it just it looks up there's blood down the hallway there's blood down the stairs like I can't was everywhere. I try not understate enough. I can't overstate enough. How much blood the
company this fucking injury. So apparently what happened was we were winding our night down. Hard night. Yes. Heavy fucking air quotes because this was not a way to wind down. I'll tell you guys how we ended the night. We played the same Slipknot song about 16 times we've done that before I kept asking him what his favorite song was and I'd forget directly after. So I kept playing it. So after that I go fuck Finley has to go outside. So we take I take him outside. I'm walking out the door. I'm
like, Okay, I've got this. I've got that I'm making sure I have a bag for him and he sees something that he likes, which means he spreads down the stairs. I'm attached to the dog. And this is a big ass dog like a very large dog. It's an 86 pound dog who is sprinting full force towards the stairs? And my drunk body goes like Oh, just relax. dog pose and I'm like, Alright, I'll relax. I go airborne. I miss every single stare on the way down to the first landing. My face goes through the goddamn
wall. I broke my fucking nose doing it. Blood. Everywhere was the day.
Not the first time that you fell down an entire flight of stairs.
That's one of your earlier memories with me somehow
didn't break anything that time though. And you hit the wall.
No, that's the only thing I hit your arch nemesis the wall. But yeah, so, you know, everybody, you know me look better now. It was amazing. It was a great night. Like I wouldn't change anything about that night. I mean, I also wouldn't change the fact that we didn't do anything the next day. No, we just want to make that literally fused to my couch. Oh, yeah, we I think we ordered like a whole couch. We were just literally like in the dark for
like a good 20 hours. We got asked Hey, are you playing board games? What are we playing board games? Are we playing board games and we're both like, Go fuck yourself.
I said Jason's once we got shit faced. I woke up the next morning and was like, I need new clothes. But I'm hung over so I went home changed drove back to his house to lay on his couch. couch was a couch. I have another question. This one's from Twitter.
Okay. Oh, mama. Doug is still cracking. She's using my ass. First off,
I want I think Zack Platt sent us a message but for the love of me. I can't find it.
Maybe he heard my message and he's now secretly communicating with you.
Maybe No, I can't find anything exact but I could have sworn when I posted this I saw
must warn so make something up that he did. But
can I have another one? But okay, so Zack in my mind asked Jason.
Do you How do
four and a half. All right, great. Thank you Zack.
Nice.
No, Zack I apologize if you did send something to me and I lost it because I could have sworn I saw your name but whatever. Anyway, on Twitter we have at 80x Smart Okay, is there a vortex we don't know about yet.
Mama dog I think might have the answer this
of a vortex.
Is there a vortex? We don't know about yet.
Oh, yeah. We're We're in maava john. Oh. He's so nice. To throw up a bunch of air horns on the air horn Simon. I will have to apologize to me also. No you're not. No, you're not. Why do you think I have the humor I have. You gave him now or humor. Here. He has my What do you think?
Are there any vortexes? Are there any vortexes? We don't know about?
Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Yeah, do you know random Nautica? Oh,
time is it your vagina?
My vagina is off limits to most people. There's there's three exceptions. Why? I'm not going over that right now. Drew Carey No, these things they get to learn very, very, very slowly. I will slowly divulge more and more about myself here that tells everyone what our anus sizes. Yeah. Once that once everyone knows that Doug and I had the same penis and sphincter sizes. I think that's as personal as we need to get. Right?
I don't want those are the three people that are allowed in his Virgina?
cobia is it Yeah, so real quick, I have to go back to the question that Zack may or may not have asked because I was looking for this while you were asking it because this is the perfect response to it
but what was the question? I don't remember.
But this and this answers it pretty well.
Do you How do that was? Yes. Do
you How do So has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do like more like you've got to be kidding me? I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can? Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that book. My guess is that when one really been far even as decided wants to use even go want it is then that he has really been far even as decided to even go want to do look more like It's just common sense.
What the fuck
my eyes went cross eyed For a second there I'm sorry mama dog beat me to the punch. What the fuck? Don't worry about it. No, no, you know no that's not a stroke you're having no that's just those are words using doublespeak
so I'm pretty sure it's a stroke
don't drive all i know i know about a vortex it's called the spaghetti one is the vortex of spaghetti.
Are you talking about the vertices? Are the vertex shield vertice knows the link weenies Oh, you're having that spaghetti. Cool. I just said that. We're talking about the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Yes.
A pasta Faria.
Oh my god pasta fart dude, we had a fucking problem with pastafarians when I used to live in Cayman, they would steal our cereal spoons. Like all for whatever reason that size spoon was fantastic. I'm really trying to determine if this is a real story. No, I'm serious.
I mean, he is from the cane.
I am serious. Yeah, one of the things are from being very very young. Are my parents trying their damnedest to explain away some weird pastafarian dude sneaking into our house and stealing our silverware
if you ever want to know about my part of my childhood if you ever want to know about probably like the most unfortunate
of your silverware now
no locks it up every very liberal with it
means it can have if you want to know about the most unfortunate soul think of a child who was born and raised in the Caymans and then had to live the rest of his life in Illinois. Yeah, my
god. The Amish years god damn paradise now I live in
Jehovah's Witnesses knocking
on your door.
Oh, no solicitation.
So I do just want to share my first time meeting my my dog because Doug and I have known each other for a while. Mike and I have known each other for a long fucking time as well. A decade now. Yeah, almost a fucking decade. Yeah. Um, but I will never ever, ever forget one of the times that mama dog doodles. We all hung out. We got super drunk. And we had a fantastic time. Mama dog expressed her desire to learn how to play Dungeons and
Dragons. She shared it and now she's a level 40 Dungeon Master? I can't I can't beat it. No. So she expressed the desire to play and Doug and I were like, Well fuck it. We had just come off of playing what he was either call Cthulhu or dungeons? Yeah, it was like some it was some random campaign. Yeah. may have been one. Robbie was probably but either way. Yeah, we were playing she she was living with me at
this point. And yeah, she'd heard us talking and like doing the d&d stuff every once in a while much fun. It's so much
fun. So we decided say okay, yes, I will dm if Doug takes mama dog to the kitchen and designs a character explains how it works. And I'm sitting in in the fucking living room. Drawing the map out like okay, yeah, this is where this is gonna be. This is where that's gonna be. I get done. I'm like,
oh my god. I'm done. Like, we can play this. I have all the maps. We don't have to stall. Let's fucking go and looks at me and goes, my mom's going to bed. She drunk. She goes to bed. But she built the whole character. She built the whole character and she built the whole fucking fucking serious my man. Yeah, I'm going to bed. Yeah. 330 in the morning. We appreciate we absolutely appreciate the enthusiasm and the like, let's fucking do this. Like you've always been that way.
I love you guys.
We love you. Love you to everyone. Hey, everybody say it back ready? 1230
the audience sorry, all of us. I want everyone out 3123
We love you know a dog. You guys this is a fucking This is a short episode. It was
a shorty but a goodie. Mama Mama doggy. Do you have anything you want to say to people?
This is your time to impart any kind of wisdom that you might have for anyone that wants to hear you. She's anything like me. She's gonna be like, nope. Fuck your pillow with a condom. Like No. She raised me. Well, I'm not letting her off the hook. Are you kidding me? No, no, you need to leave us with one nugget of wisdom. Did you just have
a better way? Wow,
how can we even talk to people? now know what your orgasm face looks like?
She didn't know that. Ladies gentlemen.
are sweet. And then just like BAM like
calm slash galouti pod.
I love her. That makes so much sense. Thank
you for listening. Thank you for being mom.
We can't talk yet at this point goes goes say tell your mom that you love her. Tell your mother that you will always be there for her. But most importantly, Mama dog. Give us one piece of advice that you would give any child in the world. You like don't suck all the caterpillar sticks or
you can't spoil a child. You really can't spoil the child.
Then you get a dog. Yeah, you pompous ass.
Well, a dog. Yeah, that's good. No, I can vouch for all that your cats. Yeah.
This boy is the best. I love this man.
Fantastic. Audience just odd. Oh,
yeah. But I can't I can't give up. She could spoil
me. But I did all weekend. I did not let her pay for like a damn. That's not he paid me. He might she had to sneak that shit in. I can't tell if Doug is like trying to buy brownie points. Now, aren't we all? Hey,
you wonder how you can earn brownie? points@pod.com slash deluded pi patreon.com slash blue pod youtube.com. Slash delete everything. Are you gonna make my econ brownie
point tier? Sure, Mike.
No, Doug has been like insanely paying for everything this weekend.
I literally would not look like anything. That's good. Oh, my gosh, she wants to fucking pay for everything. I'm like, no.
That's my that's my. But now he
can pay for you. You just you just you literally hit threshold, which means no, you found that point in time where the money flow goes from your account. And now Doug is like, No, I'm gonna spend all of my money on you.
And I don't know how to deal with
you. Yes. And make it a double is what you do. Like buying alcohol the first day she got here and she's like, Well, I was gonna pay for everyone's alcohol. And I was like, No, like, I'm gonna pay for the alcohol. Like, Isn't it weird? Get over? Well, yeah. You know who you have to thank for that alcohol.
You know?
God, no, absolutely not. No, it's our it's our fucking supporters. Yeah, our supporters are actually listened to what we are talking about right now. They are the ones that are providing for you, Mama dog, to be here to be present to just have a good fucking time with us. And Drew Carey and
Kerry. Yay.
What do you guys are whatever you guys want to say to the beautiful people at home?
I just want to say thank you for letting us do this episode. It's a little different than what we normally do. Obviously. We wouldn't be here without you guys. We wanted to do something special for Mother's Day. My mom was in town, so we obviously invited her around here. fucking killed it. We all had a great time. We're all a bit tipsy and drunk and whatever. It's fun time. But seriously, thank you guys for
letting us do this. If you have a mom and a dad, two moms, one dad, whatever it is, wish them a happy mother's day to dads. Yeah, fuck it. Who cares? Whoever you have in your life wish them a happy mother's day and just have a good fucking weekend guys. Mike during this ordeal we go first You go first. Cool. That's what I figured. I don't think I need to remind anybody to please please, please do the thing.
Actually, I don't like mama duck. Do it. What What am I doing? You have to say, Dave here nice
started parent. No Stay fucking paranoid please paranoid point A slapping those bands and slapping those brains so
your mom's tooth let's not
go there
comm slash delete pod
check out our YouTube, Facebook Instagram Twitter linktree wherever you find podcasts look as up please get us back in the top 50 Review us on Apple pod don't look under the fucking internet go get
us on Apple pod suck your mom's teeth suck your das t suck dogs to just buy a tooth for fucksakes review how
it was sucking your dad's tooth on our apple podcast page. Boom, there
it is.
If you have questions about it well and you have questions
go to your dentist I'm sure he has plenty of teeth go to my crack good
Orthon. org okay with that Good night, everybody