Don't look under the internet
so I'm all fucking here.
So what's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster? With implants?
You can't cook a bus station alive and here it screams in
the hot boiling pot. You've never been to the right bus stations
but haven't been in New York.
I don't know what's the difference? One is a crusty bus station. And one is the station.
So stupid.
Dont Look Under The Internet everybody. Welcome to Dont Look Under The Internet where we have jokes just like that. Ready for you to subscribe and hear more of that's Doug T. That's it. Is it? Chase and chase chase j been
here so close. Georgia. Just sound we've only known each other for like a decade now. Jonathan? Yep, you got it. I'm
Jonathan.
I'm Jason.
And I'm Clark. Clark. Clark Clark.
Clark. Clark.
That's fucking crazy.
I'm Michael. Hello pretty people. Hello. I hope you're all doing well today.
Oh wait, are you not talking? Are you talking to me are the live
the live audience don't have that all we have to turn on the applause sign.
Beep there it is. Dad's makes so much more sense. Hello, everybody. Hello. Yeah, sorry. I
don't know how to write it down.
Sorry sometimes the live studio audience gets a little too uppity and I have to shut them down a little bit put
him in their fucking place.
Yeah, actually shackled in place to
tell y'all again. Well, Oh, you've we only have like one live studio audiences the same live studio audience has been here
back some of them are live there. They were slowly going down. Then they're gone. Now.
What happened?
It looks like they like clipped through the floor. The whole audience.
They're just gone now.
who forgot to turn on clipping mode where
the hell do you think sorry guys that was me. I had God Mode on and
you clip the whole audience or no clip the whole audience through the floor? Where do you think they go? Yeah, well, there's
certain a smell in here anyways, that's half of them were dead.
The other half were eating the other half. I was eating them. But no, like, Where? Where did they go?
I think they think they ended up in like the back rooms. Oh,
mama. Is that where you buy? The pornos from like a blockbuster or like a family video? The places
that don't exist anymore? Yes.
Well, that video does but or somebody is in our studio right now that has a Burger King gun and has just been translocating one by one to Burger King to enjoy. Nice, delicious, crispy chicken sandwich as a young
sponsor.
What are we talking about here? Today, dumbbells.
We are going to fill your your dirty little minds with something called the back rooms. This is a fun little fun little creepy, creepy pasta. I guess we can call it that.
I don't know at this point.
Or is it a fun little dark piece of reality? That is entirely real.
Well? Why don't I just fill you in on what the back rooms are?
Yeah. Oh, can we? Uh, sorry, before we started? Well, just because we did it before. Can we shout out our other Patreon? Oh, shit. Yeah.
Yes, it's been a minute because of that marathon recording day that we did that we will not do for a while
it was Zachary.
Zach Platt, buddy. Um, I actually went to college with him. And, you know, I saw him I saw him grow up, turn into a man turn into a lady and then turned back into a man magic. None of that happened. But no, yeah, he's a he's a super cool guy. He loves what we're doing. He's super engaging with us online. Yeah, he's
he's keeping track of all the times I say Um, yes. Oh
my god. We Okay, we have to set a date right now. Right now.
My birthday is July 28. I don't want to give that information.
What's your social way? You
just gave that to me.
I shared it. Birthday July 20. You
know, let's let's set a date for that. When are we? When are you going to fulfill Your promise to the people Mike. Don't be a politician.
I will fulfill my promise when I get one other person besides Zack, give me a tally sheet. If I have to tally sheets that way, I know this is mood No, no this way I just know that Zacks not just making up numbers, if it matches that Baltimore around the same number, then I know maybe like,
five, up or down kind of thing.
Exactly. So as long as I got to so I can reference off them and I can go from there. That's all I need. So one more person Give me the tally with how many times I said, um, and you both will be legally held responsible of my death. So and we will film it and sue you
if I ever see you. But no, I won't either. I just get to take a gander at my erotic liver.
Well, the nice thing is I have life insurance. So legally, I can't die. Otherwise I can stay
with that mean. Yeah,
that's true.
Anyway, again, thank you very much, Zach. He, him and Nicole.
Both you guys are
yours.
If you go to our Patreon page, you can also get shouted out from us and get a sticker. I believe we have set to what three bucks, there's $2 for just a
shout out. Five bucks gets you the what I have, I made an executive decision and I call them that logo. The computer creep logo works for me. So you'll get the diluted computer creep logo is a sticker to wrap wherever you want. We have more in the works. We actually have a shirt we've been designing that I think looks super badass, but it's not ready yet.
So go to patreon.com slash deluded pod and kind of take a gander throw in a couple bucks here there if you want and you'll hear us you know just go bananas over you and love you forever. Oh yeah, we talk about you as much as we are talking about Nicole and Zach because we love
them. Yeah, we just want your support and we love you guys for listening to us. And Zach is willing our our sex with
happiness.
Our butt sack is turning into a happiness sack. Now Zack, Mike will leave his fiance for you if you continue to be as engaging as you have been. So please keep it up.
Yes, we're gonna be on record. I heard about that one, but I hope she understands.
Well, maybe you guys can reconcile to where like, he's like the pool boy.
But I have a pool boy.
Who needs a pool? What do you have a pool boy
cleans my tub in my scene. Can you gutters, my gutters? Yeah.
Okay, enough with that? Yes, I have. I've noticed there's a lot of sexual noise coming from mainly my throat on this podcast. So
I'm like, let's let's get back on track to the back rooms. Yeah. So
what are the back rooms in one might ask themselves not knowing what the backrooms is right?
Well, our back rooms me.
Yeah. What are the back rooms?
What am room back?
Okay, so
I don't know. Sometimes I just, I just word and it doesn't work. But yeah, so for those of you who don't know, the back rooms are a labyrinth of random indeterminable rooms, halls and nearly anything that you could imagine. The starter level sure three distinct characteristics, yellow lighting, fluorescent lights, yellow walls, maybe stained, even, and yellow carpets with varying quality of age. Hmm,
so far, there sounds like the best office space I think I've ever been to.
Oh, for sure. One of the best. So far, there are approximately three generally recognized starter levels excluding the negative levels. Each level has its own unique set of familiar landmarks. It's unknown why these things are located in the backgrounds but they're there nonetheless. bar the aforementioned characteristics each level contains a variety of different
objects. Examples of these include random items ranging from furniture to broken typewriters to weapons, etc. Some of these items located within the backrooms can be very helpful, and sometimes they can be the difference between life and death. The rooms also contain various different creatures, which can either attack you or not pay any attention to their behavior is seemingly as random. As the backgrounds itself.
It's almost like these rooms are just like the physical embodiment of our Jesus.
I was gonna say like a purgatory,
not like random number generator Jesus.
It almost makes me think of like, the way that like how like randomize the Minecraft Yeah, rivers are
essentially generated, or like the Diablo loot system. Yeah,
no, guy. We can go on forever.
Yeah, that game, but I'm serious.
This does give me vibes of our SCP.
Yeah. So that's the first thing I fucking thought of. I started reading about this.
It's a very awesome those type
of vibes which I am all about.
Hello.
I actually have another link to the SCP that we did through the backrooms one of the entities that lives within them, but I'll get into that more later.
Oh, no. Sokka Yeah. So the theory of monsters existing in the back room. is backed up by the fact that nobody has ever made it out at least that we know of. Unfortunately, most people who encounter these monsters only get to post the occasional eerie image or story before their accounts go dark.
Sounds about right. If they don't get out, how do they post? Do they find just like a little hotspot in the back room and there was a bar by Pablo to Facebook, I haven't been on there a couple months. So
they do there are certain levels that have like access, but it's very limited. And it's hinged on the fact that you can make it this settlement area but we can get into all that
you get one phone call, so you better make it out to one 100
was it collect delivery pod@gmail.com
one bar internet spend that one bar internet going to dilute going to fucking patreon.com slash pod
dash $5 perfect.
Hey, fuck it, you know? You're about to die. You might as well give us your money.
You won't be using it.
That's the marketing is going off. You're gonna die fucking give us your money.
solid solid business plan. So how does one get to the backgrounds? How? Thank you.
How?
How do you do?
Kramer?
Kramer.
How do you get to the back rooms?
Well, getting to the back rooms doesn't have an exact process you can follow. One moment you'll be in a familiar place and then next thing you know you end up bumping into a wall but you'll pass right through it. Maybe you'll open a door that you swear was never there before and boom, now you're in the backgrounds. There's many paths arising out there. no rhyme or reason just I could be in a fucking I'm gonna say a bowl of dippin dots at the food court at the mall. But are dippin dots
even around anymore.
Oh, yeah, they're the ice cream of the future for the past 25 years.
I will say they'll get there eventually. Being the Florida theme park expert Ted I am all of the dippin dots are gone from Universal Studios right now.
Yeah, cuz they're super expensive to make.
Why? They're just frozen balls
of ice kits the way that they're produced. They use like a special like freezing thing where it's got to be like negative 40 degrees. All these liquid nitrogen blood diamonds
are the price of liquid nitrogen go up?
No, I don't know. It's like they use liquid nitrogen but the like the freezing containment that they use for them. It has to be at negative 40. So they're constantly just blowing like liquid nitrogen in there. And that's not cheap. So it's just not a economic way to eat. I just fucking go by Ben and Jerry's and call it a day. You don't need a little fucking small, fruity pebble looking ice cream. I don't know why I'm sounding more aggressive.
This man loves dippin dots and he's real salt so
you don't have to fucking Eagle
balls. I'm
just gonna fucking buy a tub of it. You fat ass Well,
Jesus Christ might get your shit together
gelato forever.
So yeah, there's a lot of different possible ways to end up there. The most notable thing that we know about getting there is something that we would call no clipping and that's kind of how you end up there. You pass through something seemingly as if it were not a part of this reality almost like a portal to another dimension per se. why you'd want to go there is beyond me but there's one constant and that it's that you'll never see it coming. Yeah,
no, no clipping for you know those out there that don't know what it is the biggest crowd out there if you've played video games before you know what no clipping is, but if you're not a big video game person if you've ever seen like someone playing video games are a dumb like video online of like someone just like walking by a desk and like the character just like glitches into the desk. Yeah, that's no clipping. Yeah, a physical object is no longer physical anymore.
You can walk through it. It's most prevalent in Garry's Mod, which is like the halflife engine.
Technically, ghosts can no clip
there. Yeah, it's real life. No clipping. Yeah,
they just walk through what goes confirmed.
Same the slimes from the end. Oh,
okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
So do you guys want to like, set the scene for what a what a journey into the back rooms might be? Are we
please don't tell me that we're about to go to the bathrooms.
We're gonna take a trip to the background. I
don't want to do that because I had the terrifying research this time around.
Well, alright, I'll set the prep your anus.
I'll set the scene ready. Fade In exterior.
Let's just read a screenplay.
Real quick. Exterior, knight city. Sun rising up from the On
smooth jazz plays in the background. So in all seriousness, if you ever do find yourself in the backrooms, this is possibly what you might experience. It's late September. You remember these nights, humid, muggy, just the end of the coming fall. too cold for a T shirt but too warm for a sweater. These are the nights best spent at Cooke place community mall. In my modest Midwest hometown. A diamond in
the rough in my eyes. The Shopping Center is a break from the monotony of tired hardware stores and family grocers that line Main Street. The cook place mall is typically packed to capacity. But not tonight,
15pm on a Tuesday night, 45 minutes until close. Not exactly prime window shopping hours. Despite that, my three friends and I were still going strong. We were ending the night in the dusty arcade located in the basement of the shopping mall. It was down a short flight of stairs between the Dairy Queen and Spyro and the food court faded and flickering Carnival lights lie in the dimly lit hallways and steps. Do you have another
quarter? My youngest friend question is the word game over splattered across the screen. Philip was 12 years old and a bit under developed for his age. Andrew, his older brother, my best friend and my biology partner scowled as he rummaged through his pockets in vain.
Maybe if you were a bit better at the game, I'd have more quarters for you to play on.
16pm and it seemed our time in the arcade may be coming to a close. I had a few loose quarters left in my pocket, but that was gonna stay my secret. I was hoping to spend it on a coke tomorrow before class started. Clay. The guy Andy and I just met in biology had clearly been waiting for this moment.
Honestly, yeah, guys, it's getting a bit late for me. I think got a bounce. I got to study for an exam on silly reproduction.
The exam wasn't for a week yet, but I wasn't bothered. Clay had been acting a bit ambivalent since we got to the mall. Seemed he wasn't a huge fan of having Philip around, cramp his style or whatever. I didn't care. Philip was pretty much like a brother to me. So he came first. Philip having realized there would be nary a quarter for him gave up aimlessly pressing buttons on the freezing machine.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Didn't you just
go. Yeah, but we had a large soda.
You had a large soda kid. That time I got a sip. It was all backwash.
Charcoal does Andy and Philip started away from the arcade machines. Clay while texting followed laser Lee behind them. It was a 24 and we had located a bathroom. The bathroom we were used to using in the mall was closed for renovations. So we had to find another one. An L shaped hallway lit with yellow humming fluorescent lights ended with a corresponding bathroom on either side of the hall with custodial equipment blocking the women's entrance. Philip rushed into the
restroom. The mall closed at 9pm so we were going to need to get moving. Sure enough as the thought crossed my mind the ratty old mall entercom crackled the life with a
closing in 30
minutes. The mall will be closing in 30 minutes. I checked
26pm someone's in a hurry to get out of here tonight. That's retail.
I might just get going you guys I would probably close to here. I'm just gonna walk instead of the bus.
Did I know I clay he turned his back and walked away turning right to depart the mall. Andy and I looked at one another.
I don't know. Kind of a wet blanket. He seemed really cool when I met him.
Now he was okay. Maybe just a little quiet. The texting was a bit annoying though. Our attention was drawn to the sound of a flush from the bathroom and his face twisted a no mischievious grin. Hey,
we we should give fillable freight when he comes out.
remembering how jumpy Philip tended to be. I felt a pang of guilt. It really wasn't very nice to spook him and we did it pretty often. Nevertheless, I stood on the other side of the door opposite of Andy waiting for Philip to step between us not expecting a thing. Philip stepped out into the hallway, focused on drying his hands on his pants. He's stepped by none the wiser. Philip yelled as he twisted around and fell backwards. Philip fell into the wall and then Philip fell into the wall.
That was the only way I know how to describe it. One moment he had slipped off his feet and crashed into the wall the next everything but his legs are gone through the wall as if they were perfectly shaped hole in the concrete. Phillips legs spasm in the air in the same looping spastic pattern, but for a few seconds, and then there was nothing left but solid concrete.
Oh, what? I
as he shuffled toward the wall, his face turned to fear.
I don't understand. I don't understand. Philip, Philip.
He slammed his hands into the wall once, twice, not a third time, and his head now protruded from the wall facing the ceiling. His head seized from side to side as he continued to scream for his brother. God, he sounded like he was yelling through a box fan. I stepped backwards as my best friend disappeared from sight, and I was left with a scream bouncing off the hallway walls intensifying as it mixed with the hum of fluorescence. The how
of fluorescence. My back pressed against the bathroom door and I jumped. I screamed as my world exploded with static, deafening and blinding man. The noise was unbearable, and the grain obscured everything. And all at once it stopped. I clutched my head in my hands I squeeze shut. The static had dissipated but was replaced with the hum of fluorescent lights, and all too familiar yellow glow through my eyelids. But there was something new, a smell that hadn't been there before. The musty wet
smell of carpet. Carpet that should have been changed decades ago. The smell reminded me of the dilapidated bowling alley down the road from the mall. I opened my eyes before me was the bathroom hallway as expected, lit by the same light as before. The bathroom doors were gone. There were no more doors, no more custodial equipment, just a smooth slab of concrete wall. I got to my feet and I looked around me cautiously. It seemed I was in the mall still, but it was quiet. It felt different.
The fluorescent home buzz was too loud. My ears edge. I walked down the hallway in the direction of the food court. As I turned the corner I was met with not the opening to the food court as expected but by another abrupt 90 degree corner turning to the left. I froze. The loudspeaker was engaged. The empty air of the speaker nearest me told me that but the operator
had nothing to say. After emotionless moment, which felt like hours, the microphones snapped back to the console cutting the empty noise. Whomever had activated the speaker seem to have hung up confused and growing ever more frightful of where I'd found myself. I turned the corner. I was met with a large empty room that I had never seen before. It was about the size of a classroom with stained concrete walls. The smell of must was
even stronger in here. Each wall had an identical rectangular door shaped opening that seemed to be placed at randomly decided positionings among the wall. The popcorn ceiling littered with the smears of dirt and greasy imprints had long cracks spanning it. This room was clearly in need of renovation. I don't understand. Truly did. The featureless rooms serve no purpose other than a passageway
to these other rooms. The lack of planning and absent attempt at caring for the room made me feel as if this place was long forgotten. might as well try the next room I thought to myself as I walked through the door to my left. The room I found myself in was bleak and unrecognizable as the last. From my first glance. The only difference in style was that this room was shaped as a triangle. I heard a single cry from my right was more of a whimper actually What the fuck?
It was Claire's voice couldn't be clay. I watched him leave the mall. I rushed through the door to find clay laying in a fetal position in a long hallway is stretching a distance to my left and right.
Chase shall
change that. Change the channel,
Clay clay you got to get up clean and respond to me. He never would his eyes wide and I'm blinking with fear we're glued to the floor. How can fluorescent lights be so damn noisy? And then I saw it and then I felt it. It hung motionless in the air, feet lightly scraping the ground. It had dry cracked scan that was dressed loosely with torn, rough spun shorts had the torso of a man but its torso was on the
wrong way. It's frail and feeble arms outstretched to the ceiling not quite reaching as if an act of Surrender had a cocked head as if confused as it appeared down the hallway at me. Dark beady eyes stared wildly at me through the holes in the bloody duct tape wrapped around his head and then it started to float towards us. Every time I blinked, stunned and absolute terror, it was not where I expected. A few feet forward some inches to the left, never
where it should be. And yet it was getting closer, ever closer. What I saw next will follow me forever. I turned to run, breaking the stillness and sprinted down the hallway. I don't know. I guess I just assumed clay would follow me in the moment. I was wrong. A blood curdling screech shook the hallway. I whipped around. It had reached clay. He still wasn't looking but he was certainly screaming. It extended its long, spindly arms and cradled him like a child. But it
wouldn't look away from me. No, its eyes never left mine. In one quick jerking motion, it was holding clay by the top of his head, palming him like a basketball. I blinked and I had grasped clays arm with its free hand. With brute strength. It twisted clay by the torso. Plays screaming, cut short with a fleshy crunch as he dropped to the floor in a twisted pile. His eyes had finally opened to look at me one last time. And then I
screamed. The louder I screamed, the louder the fluorescent home became, which was louder I couldn't tell. I turned and ran to the first door I saw blindly twisting and turning through the rooms that followed. Why on earth does every room look the same? The turned a corner and rent faced first into a dark mass. We both fell to the floor. Andy,
how did you get down here? Where the hell are we?
I don't know any. Where's Philip? We have to get him right now and leave. We turn in rush down a third hallway perpendicular to the hallway Andy and I met in. We ran until we felt we could run no more and then fell into a final doorway. We landed in a mass on the damp floor and quickly scuttled to the back wall. The hum of the lights was all we could hear louder and louder. And then they all went out silence. We found ourselves in total darkness and total silence as we cluttered
each other. No way, not total silence. The sound of static as if emitting from a television slowly coming towards us. Only when the light coming from the source of the noise started to slowly and illuminate the room did I realize this room only had one door that floated around the doorframe, toes dragging on the floor as a cast its bloody eyes upon us. Andy and I mute with fear stood against the wall and he moved himself in front of me.
They floated towards us. And he raised his arms and reached out for us.
Leave us alone.
We all became statues. We locked eyes with it as we listened to the intercom crackle the life. Shallow rapid breathing came through the speaker
Andy
it was filled up with a guttural scream and he lunged towards it. I fell backwards into the wall. And I landed inside of a trashcan what was inside a trashcan filled with the refuse of the full day of food court disposal.
Kid, what are you doing in
there? I looked out to see a very confused elderly janitor wondering why a young man was taking a sparco bath after all
32pm At least that's what the clock over the water fountains on the water from back in the mall. Oh, sorry, I was just hungry. And I ran. The following years, I would try to make sense of what happened in the back hallway. I even went so far as returning there and trying to access that place. but to no avail. I never found a thing. But I kept trying until they demolished them all a
year later. Philip and Andy's parents weren't really present when they were around so they didn't make much of a deal on TV when they were interviewed. Despite the media trying to fire them up. They just seemed like it was the final straw to send them to total apathy. Last I heard clays parents moved out of town but we're paying exorbitant bills to find their son. After a few years of half assed detective work and a few rotations of mo curtains. Andy and Philip were forgotten by our
sleepy little town. But sometimes when I'm going to sleep I remember and I leave the TV on Channel three. There's nothing broadcasting on that channel. But the static helps me sleep.
Wow, That sure was something guys. It was a thing for $10 a month you can be sent the audio WAV file of that fucking Wilhelm scream of mine.
Which one was it? Oh,
it's so good.
Yeah, it's real funny when it's not edited.
He joined our Patreon, maybe you'll get a glimpse of that. Yeah, who knows?
So that that little story was a I want to credit a Reddit user named your d&d guy. He wrote that all the credit goes to him. reached out personally and he gave us the okay to do this. So we really appreciate it. What a nice person.
I love when people enjoy what we're doing enough to be like, oh my god. Yeah, please take my content.
Yeah, yeah. Take my wife.
I didn't quite ask that. But no, he was really, really nice about everything. Super, super cool. So thank you for that. Absolutely. Thank
you so much. Mr. d&d guy.
The nice thing is so what you guys might have gotten from the story as well is that was only one level of backrooms that was level zero. Correct? Yeah. Awesome. There are for the elitists out there there are three levels to the back rooms for the non purists fucking we we actually got a glimpse of what level zero was like, in that little short story. That sounds
good. Sounds like an apartment I used to live in.
dingy wet carpets. Yellow Wallpaper. Magic. Yeah, the Yellow Wallpaper.
Yeah, I will brand shooting off fireworks in my fucking kitchen. All of us just meat galore,
but there are three different levels. level zero is one that we are kind of just introduced to it is literally just it. It kind of reminds me of like, shitty like doctor's office.
Or like you know what I mean building that's been closed down.
Yeah, the the the walls are like this dingy mustardy yellow with like some like very, like, boring looking design on the
wallpaper. It's all repetitious.
Yeah, and the carpets are just as gray damp.
Have you ever played The Stanley Parable?
Yeah, it's it's very like it's like The Stanley Parable it's a good very much yeah,
it gives a very very very strong Stanley Parable
lives but the the creepy part is every room is like the same you exit a room surprise, you're back in it. But you can't tell if it's the same room you're just in. Or just a room that looks the same.
If it looks with your head. The psychological aspect of all of this would be fucking enormous. Yeah.
And you're practically alone. Like in level zero there are like, other versions of the story where they find like colonies of people, but for the most part, you're fucking by yourself. You're just wandering aimlessly for the most part.
It seems like it's very random. So like, I feel like level zero. We get this like yellow vibe like fluorescent office building kind of thing. Like if Do yourself a favor. Google Image this uploaded onto Instagram and everything too. Yeah, just look up backrooms. You'll see the image it's plastered all over when you search Google for it,
yeah. And and you got to be careful. Because the way that you get into level zero is just like what happened to that kid in the audio thing? It just fucking happens. You'll be walking up to work one day slip on a fucking banana peel and instead of hitting the pavement you just go into an office building yet so it just happens Harry Potter wasn't real they just Diagon Alley when they go through the
movie when you walk through like platform nine three quarter that's what I was talking about. almost same and that's just you're in the back rooms. Yeah went insane. They thought they were
they've mastered Harry Potter mastered it.
Yeah, they're still there.
We can get you through this port. Maybe some jackass fucking was like portals or thing and then like and then some wizards somewhere was like well, okay, we're doing our direct on our end but you can do whatever you want. And Gary the dumb ass.
There are some scarier than the wise wizard Dumbledore the great mcgonagle the wise, Gary the dumb
berry notice that wizard
is he the fifth Hogwarts house like the sounds are slither and there's there's slither and Hufflepuff Gryffindor Ravenclaw and just dumb house
it's just like their their crest is just like a turd.
turd Ferguson from a
from SNL.
Yeah, like an SNL Jeopardy sketch.
Or 500 alligator
bum cover
But yeah, that's that's just how you kind of access level zero as you just accidentally fall into it. And it could be numerous different ways through a wall, you can get into an elevator and get off on this in this office and
oh, yeah, elevators can take you there. If a train can take you there like,
No, it's just random adore that shouldn't be there could take you there
basically the universe telling you specifically that you should go fuck yourself. Yeah,
pretty much.
It's like, do you want to press this big red button? Yes or no. And then you kind of have to decide.
It's always Yes,
it's the mean.
So there is a level after level zero, though. level one. The easiest way to get into level one is you have to survive level zero for four days. And it's a bit more complicated to survive levels zero, we'll get into why in a little bit. But you have to survive for days. There are other ways, just like you can randomly get into level zero, you can just randomly stumble into level one without even realizing it. But after four days, you'll just be
walking aimlessly through. And you'll just notice very subtle changes like the walls instead of going like from the Yellow Wallpaper will slowly turn to concrete. The floor will go from carpet to like cement as well, just over a long period of time to where you barely even notice these subtle changes and then all of a sudden, you're in level one. Congratulations. Level one isn't necessarily any better than level two. Worse
hell,
it is no harder for you to
this is kind of I wonder if they got reference from like Dante's Inferno? Oh, from this you know what I mean? Because there are other levels to this and there is in theory, the the from the lower a main nine levels. Doesn't Dante go through nine realms of hell? Yep. So yep, I see kind of a thing there.
I fucking love Paradise Lost.
I know what that is to
Dante's Inferno. Oh, iron acio purgatorio to three books, the pregnancy map of heaven, hell and purgatory. Ray St.
reanna.
Paragon Erna durbur more Do you ever play the game?
Yeah. Portillo's gifts,
honestly, it's a very good way to tell the story. Yeah. Is
it syrio
if you read the book, you'll be like, Oh, shit. Yeah,
I played this. Yep,
it's so good area find a huge naked woman and that's
pretty cool. And I find a dog with four stomachs and nine miles now
cereal. What I'm just kind of so
Reese's puffs on the mind. Yep,
you can. Once you get to level one though, it is similar to how level zero works where it's just walking in aimless rooms only the for fluorescent lights that are going off or on. They're not just like, Daddy, on all the time. They're flickering. Sometimes they'll flicker off for a few minutes. Sometimes it's for hours. Sometimes it's for fucking days, I
would drive me fucking bananas.
Well, sometimes we'll just turn off like four days. Nope.
Nope, I don't want to I don't want that Me
neither. Because who knows what's lurking in the dark?
I mean, I have a bit of it's my mom. Journey journey.
journey and you didn't hit me up kind of upset?
Well, she's in the background, my
mother's house.
Well, sorry.
Hurry, get out. She but when you get into level one, You'll never believe how you can get into level two. Level two to get to level two it mostly you rely solely on finding like a flight of stairs or an elevator that can take it to level two. But there is kind of a down side to it. You it's like at random either you'll you'll go from level one to level two by going into these elevators or these random doors. Or it might just send you right back to level zero.
And just say I saw the back maybe well I heard that levels zero also you can find an elevator that takes you either to level one or back out of the back room level zero
can take you anywhere there. Yeah, he even says like, we're not going to get into all the fucking levels because there's after a while the lore goes into hundreds of 1000s of levels. But there is a way where if you like stomp on the floor enough and break through the floor you'll just be in level 27 like you can get from level zero to anywhere you just got to stumble upon it somehow
kind of what I'm gathering is that if you want to go anywhere in the backrooms just try shit just yeah, it might work if you like I don't know. spit in between your toes and like shuffle around the carpet four times in a circle and then yell mahalo.
Praise go through there will be Praise me and him
yeah exactly like maybe you know you're on you know, level 31
Yeah, who even knows
who fucking cares
Why don't even do this anymore
smoking stupid
the last time God fuck
it's hot I'm bothered I'm fucking done you
just yeah with to get to level two you just kind of end up there really elevators or stairway and level two is just fucking worse because it's just very narrow hallways with like industrial pipes along the side and there's no like room for movement they're very cramped hallways and a lot of them are just long dark hallways. So if there's something you know, at the other end of that hallway lurking, lurking
Have you have you guys ever seen the movie grave encounters?
Yeah, the fourth I just recently watched that actually. A I love
that movie. Well
fully on YouTube. Watch. Really? Yeah. And the second one
I watched him on I think prime but the first one so fucking good. Second one. Yeah, but that like, if anyone out there has seen grave encounters and you're wondering what the fuck we're talking about right now. It's just think that just not a mental hospital. Just these dingy Yellow Wallpaper print musty rooms. Just Yeah,
that makes sense.
Cool. I have not seen this movie. Check it out.
Yeah, good. You might like it.
It's pretty fun actually, like found footage. Yeah, that's pretty good.
I do like me some found footage same. Yeah, level two is just know what? Typically the worst of the three I would say you really don't want to go to level two. Level Two is kind of the best way for you to like escape and get back to normal like your real world. But the art when you get to level two, they said the odds of you escaping is just damn near impossible. But you escaping the backrooms in general is pretty fucking non existent.
The odds are stacked.
Yeah. In level two, you have the best odds which still aren't great. Your odds went from point 00001 2.000002. So it's not any better, but you might as well at this point.
Can somebody check that to see how many zeros my GED actually went down or not?
I'm pretty sure it did. But
hey, guess what? escaping level two is damn near impossible. But it's your best chance? Yeah.
Yeah. Sadly. There are other levels that I don't know if we should say our Canon or non canon but the these three are like known as the pure.
Like, yeah, there's a if you there's a group of people that are involved with the backrooms. There's a council.
They get together every unity they get together and the local Chucky cheese every Tuesday night they discuss how many levels levels are typically typically they land on three, because that's about the number of toppings they get on their chocolate Chucky cheese pizza.
So if you were a backrooms purist and you frequent this Chucky cheese hit us up we want some tokens and some pre plays
and I want to see gels the dog
I want to get me inside one of those animatronics
Did you know that for Chucky cheese doordash Prime doordash doesn't call Chucky cheese Chucky cheese. It's like pasqualini pizza.
What the fuck is Pasquale?
squale is the chef at Chucky cheese
I just found out that fucking I think it's I hopper Denny's is it is the burger then.
There's a burger fire. Yeah, Pizza Hut is wing Street. Sometimes you'll see him on there was wings that I knew. But yet, if you see a swallow you just ordered a Chucky cheese pizza, right?
I'm gonna trick Kelly.
Like I was saying it's not only getting lost in these back rooms that give you almost no chance of survival. There are other things that kind of prevent you from escaping. or living,
though. Oh, are there? There's so many.
Yes, that's why I said it Jason. Oh, good.
Man, you're going from your topic to mind now
I have segwayed every day
but now my is my my temper tantrum voice it's
so Mike is very right there. There are ways to escape. They're very very, like this chances of you actually getting out are very, very, very slim but to make those chances even slimmer. backrooms are filled to the brim with different entities
like Gargamel Gargamel, e c, Gargamel. Not only do we stop,
no, no, no, let them go because we're living creating a backroom level right? Yes.
targum the Gargamel level?
Yes. Where you go into this level and you automatically get turned blue and there's a giant Gargamel chasing you down trying to kill you and turn you into his gold pin.
Exactly
feel like I've had the stream before.
Probably after listening to each individual another
level where there's another level where a giant tooth named Orthon, the great is hunting it down like goddamn pac man eating pellets and ghosts,
and you're the ghost enamel. But no. So these backroom levels are very, very complicated. They're very, very difficult to navigate. To make it even harder. They have been filled to the brim with different entities that inhabit different levels of each floor. I'm not going to go over all of them. Because, fuck,
there are so many. There's a lot, especially not to cut you off here.
But I'm known for what you are doing.
I am going to do that not to cut you off. But
let me continue. Yes.
Well, there are so many because like we were kind of saying before, I forgot to mention it. There are more than just the three levels. There's the purists that say there's three but it goes on for 1000s of 1000s of levels. And throughout these levels, you get more and more of different types of beasts, but we're only focusing on those three. I mean, for folks, I
mean, they're not. Well, I
mean, for like me explaining it. I'm not gonna explain all these fucking levels, right? There's one where it's like, I think it's like level fuckin for 20 or something. No, yeah, it's like, yeah, there's another one where there's one just filled with, like, it's birthday party with a giant cake. And it's like, it's your birthday. And they turn around. There's a bunch of murderers, clowns, they're trying to kill you.
Which sounds Oh, yeah.
So there's a bunch of different rooms, but those three zero levels 01 and two are the main three. Correct?
What do you guys think son? Like? level 69
I think is a bunch of gnomes sucking each other off.
It's that picture that you have on your phone? Oh, Scrooge
McDuck.
Fucking the ice climbers.
The wallpaper is just that. And then you come across it in real life.
fuck do we have to post on social media now? Don't?
Yeah,
I'll give you the close up of just as hot as everyone.
Oh, just Google Scourge make Fuck yes. It's gonna it's exactly what you think it's gonna look like Yeah. Okay, it's nothing at all. It's gonna involve Scrooge McDuck. very muscular, very buff one face fucking the ice climbers and through the back of the skull.
One of just look it up. We'll let you determine what is actually happening in the picture. It's
quite arousing.
And erotic. Oh, yeah, I get a boner every time. Monsters speaking of boners and monsters. Some of the entities in the back rooms are actually helpful. Most of them will definitely try to kill you. But there are some that are actually pretty helpful. For instance, one of the most well known entities in the back rooms is someone called the break room, man. He's an entity and he's on level four. Now again, if you're a purist just fucking shut this off now. Like go listen to something
else. No, no, no,
keep listening. Just take this with a grain of salt. Don't knock viewers away, Jason.
That's fair.
Yeah, big old dangus
that's fair.
Yeah, big old Dong.
All I'm saying those of your peers. You hear what I have to say from here on out like you're probably not going to agree with any of it. Keep it in mind. Let me let me say my part. Let's see how terrified you are of everything in this fucking labyrinthian hell. So like I said, not everything in the backrooms is there to try to kill you torments you. file you whatever terrible adjective you
can think of. There are a few good ones so like I said, the break room man level for this entity is an all white humanoid. seven feet tall non-hostile sits in a brown chair and has an odd black outline.
Fucking Yao Ming is chilling,
right? Yeah, absolutely. He's just there to help out. It's got these large black eyes that seem to be almost kind of like drawn onto it helps people by guiding them to settlements. settlements.
What does it remind you of? Different
pilgrims?
No,
I was gonna say more like the SCP 300 at IKEA with the settlements.
Okay,
change one of the so one of the other creatures I'm going to go over is actually it's called I think it's either an employee or the staff. Ah, and it's literally a faceless name tagged entity that politely tries to help you well, killing you.
were close closed, sir. Yeah, we're
closing
stores now closing.
Also, real quick. Speaking on SCP we're dropping another corner here. We are gonna stay tuned for that. And then we're gonna have a poll for which one you all like the most and then that's
gonna keep a lookout for that if
you find one so
yeah and then forget what we just said. And let's see
if you know what's good for you see,
I love that we have three distinct personalities on the show because there's no telling where the fuck we're going. Oh geez such anyway, so the break room man. He helps people like getting the settlements heat it I'm gonna say it because no one knows if it's like an It's a family. She whatever. They them. They them he she her his them ass. Oh,
I identify as an ass Sasha Oh, absolutely.
So seems to have memorized the layout of level four. And it holds a coffee mug. The owner recorded time a break room man I hurt someone was when it spilled the coffee on a traveler burning the travelers arm did they sue? Yeah. That's why all coffee cups now say caution hot Good on
you a person in the back rooms.
So is there a monster in the back rooms? That's a lawyer.
There has to be right. I mean, there's a whole fucking legal system set up I mean, there's settlements so it's not too far fetched. I guess.
He'll cover just imagining like a straight up like Harvey Birdman type situation happening.
Right when the coffee is splashed out and he says hey, here's my card. You'll need to call me later. You're entitled to a settlement.
What's it what's the what's this lawyers name?
Jg what
I thought for sure say Saul something.
Yeah. All right. So saw where
they go. Saw when you
saw coffee, man.
Get that thing I sent you.
What?
Yeah, let that resonate? Only there Oh, geez. We'll understand that right having
a stroke. Before we just
go to YouTube and type in type that in. Did you get that thing I sent you? And you will not be just disappointed. We will be surprised but not disappointed. Okay. What other creatures
This is a friendly one. Let's move on to something that's not so friendly. Okay, judging based judging solely on the name talking about the skin stealers. Oh, boy.
They sound friendly. These
are some of my favorites. Give me a skin is a pyramid hood. I mean, basically Yeah, pretty much except my as the pyramid hidden
giant knife. So it's just head.
Yes. Give me head.
Oh, no heads coming.
Oh, shit its head. So these the skin stealers are normally docile creatures. They become agitated when touched. Avoid Them whenever possible. The only physical description of skin stealers is that they're tall, pale yellow, and look like a humanoid figure with sunken white eyes. Once a skin stealer becomes agitated, it will hunt down its target via charging towards them at extremely high speeds to kill them. Unfortunately, details around
this fact are unknown. There's an SCP like that as well there is and presumably tear the skin off of the targets body and where it is a sort of disguise.
Oh, this isn't a This isn't a monster. It's fucking it's Buffalo Bill,
though it totally is. Leather. Do you fuck me?
Fuck would you get me
so explorers who have large scars on their veins neck or chest? Maybe a skin stealer to look like they look like normal people after after they've stolen skin. There's walking around, they can fool you into this false sense of security and the
guy in front of you at the grocery store arguing with management and bonds expired coupon code once you know it jumps out of the skin and just eats up that manager and becomes the manager of that grocery store. Now you got to worry about him his whole denying you your coupon and then you got to steal his skin back.
That's a great business model. Man.
I feel like you just had a run in at Walmart or something.
Coming out what happened to you? Okay, no. Is your home life good? Just blink a couple times. They won't hear it
blank blank. Well, no. No, I am awesome. My fiance and I hope she loves me.
So any skin stealers? Yep. Once they've still on skin, they are now disguised and they look just like you and me. There is one telltale sign to know if somebody is a skin stealer though. You just ask them. You're the yes They're by law they have to tell you like, like undercover cops. They have to tell you. No, no, they have they have. They have clear blood. And somebody actually wrote a fucking rhyme. To go around this. How
do you find out someone's a skin sealer? just stab them and see what they believe. Right? If they bleed clear blood, you did a good job and I was read just remember this Call Saul.
Just remember just remember these words. bloods read, he's not dead bloods not incite, be ready to fight. So if you if I see through blood, you're
probably running.
So fun. It's like the rhyme for drinking liquor for a beer you're in the clear beer before liquor you're never sicker
except for blood and that
blood drink is fine.
So almost the same thing.
Leaves of three but no poison oak this the same concept
and we've got a whole bunch of fucking mnemonics for for all the dangerous things in life
so Roizen
oak. We've got poison
ivy we check the snakes buttplate to know if they're poisonous
snakes apparently,
but like seriously,
dealers
I thought I just imagined a steak with like a drive like a license plate on the back and it's like oh, that's a 002 that's a poisonous one. But on these these creatures does it say what level each of these creepy creatures are on?
Yeah, so these skins Steelers are found on levels one and two. That's it cool. So it's not very diverse. I mean, there's 1000s of levels that exist to people who are not
Are there any level zero? No. Yes. No, there is one entity on level zero
there is one entity in level zero.
Smithers release the release stones owns
the highest q
the hounds are the only creatures on level zero these
all can fucking stop ruining my fun I love the hound smell then talk about I'm shaking thing up. I'm
gonna cut this
we've been talking about skin stealers. And you're like, are they on level zero? And I'm like, No. Okay.
Yes.
I'm like, Okay, Okay, sounds good. So
let's Yeah, let's Yeah,
pre cut all this. Yeah, I'm feeling I'm editing.
If any of you lovely people heard this thing. Congratulations. We decided not to cut it off.
Well fucking if I'm gonna I'll come back to this one. So
let's just talk about the house. Now that we've stolen the spotlight,
so the homes are very similar to like, just a black lab. Hence the name and from a distance they resemble women. Hmm. Which is weird. Not like a standing up upright. confident woman
more like a nine to five Dolly Parton?
No, not like that. More like her arms, legs and kneecaps and elbows have been shattered and are now reduced to being on all fours walking backwards in strange ways.
I do like a strong salt of the earth woman
would you say the torsos the wrong direction?
I depends actually. So their bodies can contort and twist into very weird positions. But so the the thing that kind of makes you think they're a woman are these long strands of hair that cover their faces. They can be very dangerous if provoked. If you hear a low rumble back away slowly, even if you can't see just start backing up. up close. They resemble contorted human shapes running on all fours. Now, if you are an avid HP Lovecraft kind of sewer
bill Exactly. You will recognize Hubert poovar love love got that forgot about that? No if you if if anyone here reads Lovecraft you will absolutely recognize some of the qualities of these dogs and you will compare them to the hounds of tilos which are eldritch beings who arrive to kill and punish those who travel through time and space almost like the time cops from Rick and Morty. But dogs that are horrifying
sound like hellhounds almost
Yeah, more or less about that. Time rates
from DC
Yeah, exactly. Another time cop.
Oh Anthea space cup. Never mind from RED LETTER MEDIA. Sorry.
You don't read a letter media.
I love red. What
are you saying? Like my favorites are fantastic. So on top of these hounds that will stalk you, and probably rip you a new asshole if they find you. There's another entity called smilers. level zero. No.
Oh, level one.
level two.
Yes. I'm just gonna go up the ladder, and 34 and most commonly on level negative 2.5. Hmm. I, let's not get into the negative side. It's a whole other thing. If
you want to know more about the other levels, do a little bit of research on your own. I'm not the one that usually says that. But there are literally 1000s of levels. There's so many.
They're all fucking cool. The main three are the ones we're going over, right,
but we won't go over the fun creatures of Oh,
boy. Yeah, so I basically looked through the creatures that exist within the backrooms. I found the ones that were the most prominent, the ones that I enjoyed the most.
So
these smilers they they exist on levels 234 and negative 2.5 and they have a home base. Their base is known to be the smiling room. This smilers can be identified by their signature reflective eyes, and teeth gleaming in the dark. However, most of the movement extremely slow speeds. The appearance of a smiler is unknown. They are rumored to have inhuman bodies with arms and legs bending in
unnatural ways. This is subject to speculation though, due to other reports suggesting different appearances.
I do not like how smiler sound, you're about to feel way more uncomfortable.
You know why? Why is also very well known that smilers are oberus which is that I know that word, which means they are able to lay eggs. Oh, the eggs hatch into adult smilers after an incubation period of about two days.
That's it upon
finding his nest of smiler eggs, do not under any circumstances clutch, take a break or attempt to cook any of them.
Yeah, they don't really respond to being over easy. Well, my
first thought was definitely to cook them. Yeah.
Especially if you're in this room for an ungodly amount of time
you see an issue, okay, if you have no food for a couple of days and you see a giant egg, and I'm not going to eat it. Yep, gonna eat that.
Looking like an ostrich egg.
But if you do, you will you meet with a terrible fate. You shouldn't have done that. Exactly. So after these, uh, these smilers, we have things called clumps.
Those in the shower sometimes the clumps so keep in mind What a fucking reference.
Keep in mind wasn't
that an Eddie Murphy is? Pretty sure.
Wait, was that a claymation? Or?
Oh, it was uh, when he goes when he goes Hanson when he drinks the potion, right? Wasn't that
I got you guys keep talking. Okay. So clumps
clumps are balls of arms and legs. With many unique appearances
Saudi professor to his nutty professor clumps.
So we have we have an origin story of the clumps as the night professor to
I hate it.
What was I checking up? Duck quick look up this as well. It's a claymation that Eddie Murphy made.
I know what you're talking about the PJ's PJs. Thank
you. Oh, ages ba. So
that's on peacock donwload peacock now and get the PJ's
not as I would love to keep talking about these clumps. Love it. Sorry. You absolutely love it.
You know what this is reminiscent to when you were dicking around with Doug. This is fucking karma now.
Myself.
Medicine.
I get it. I get I get it. I'm
going to zip it. And you knew a thing. cipet good.
What's that? I can't think of it. So clumps.
What are those?
They're balls of arms and legs. Very, very, very many unique appearances. Most clumps are quite friendly. However, some have very one long hidden arm which they can use to grab you from up to eight feet away. If you're not careful.
Sounds, Cronenberg
very Oh, incredibly is I mean, it's a massive arms and legs that are rolling around. Yeah, that's Cronenberg. But apparently they're friendly.
What's the guy from Street Fighter? Who can like
oh, I'm Dharma are the actually the monk guy.
I think it is dharma.
The dude is like the super long stretchy
Yeah. And he's like, like a white eyes. He's like, yeah, you get the fucking butt cloth or something.
Yeah, the butts that cloth.
Yeah, yeah, you're talking about I don't know his name is um, so if one of these hostile clumps grabs you, they reveal a set of sharp teeth and begin to pull you in to consume you. Once it consumes you, it's believed that your own limbs and possibly fragments of your mind are absorbed into the clump. clumps typically reside levels two and 4.71 person claims to have seen eyes in the mass of appendages. Ooh, yeah, that's the fucking guy.
That's dharma.
Yeah, okay, cool.
He's just showed a picture of Dharma on his
from Street Fighter. That's my go to Street Fighter.
Like main I like the guy with a mask and everything goes
Oh fuck.
We should play Street Fighter someday. Okay, so after you've been absorbed in the clump, your mind also kind of gets absorbed. So your thoughts your whole thought process your psyche now becomes part of this clump. One person claims to have seen eyes in the mass of appendages and unconfirmed version of the clump with black tentacles seen as is seen the very end of a certain video on youtube I will post this in the episode description
you can search up nutty professor to
know so this video that I'm gonna post is actually really fucking cool because it's a VR video, which means it's a 360 you can look around as whoever's walking through the back rooms is walking around and you can see everything they see. Is that kind of like the alpha clump. It might be the black chemicals. Yeah, yeah, maybe? I don't know.
No football okay.
There it is. Thank you. After the clumps we move on to another very very strange entity very curious. And thi This is
my boy.
He's got a name. It's my boy. It's Jerry. Jerry Jerry the bird. Ah, so Jerry is a small bird looks like a parrot. It controls the mind of the person holding it making it say things like Jerry is everything. Jerry is what I live for. And all hail Jerry
Jerry's love this
is literally a brain slug Jerry Exactly. Yeah. Oh my god.
Yep. Or brain spiders from Star Wars. Whatever the fuck you decide.
Or Shrek?
shrek is love is love. Shrek is life.
Those controlled by Jerry go missing shortly afterward. They probably go to Jerry's room, but that place is kind of unconfirmed. So
we don't know where it is. Jerry's play place like it's fucking McDonald's.
Yes, Jerry's room is just a Petco.
As these mind controlled individuals go missing the the parrot goes with them and eventually reappears a seemingly random level to find a new host if you see a bird that resembles Jerry escaped by any means possible is rumoured that giving Jerry sunflower seeds or almond water will tame him. So if you hear some of that just lying around,
I always carry a pocket of almonds.
Actually, it's it's funny you mention almond water because if you go into the lore of some of these other levels, almond water is one of the more most common things you find. It's like a lighter Yeah.
So if you want to gauge what these entities can or cannot do to you, around you for you whatever. Almond water is the key would you say it's like a health potion?
Almost.
It it's more like a like a diviner rod more like a water. No like a divining rod like it tells you what things are. Okay, so like if you give something almond water, you can tell it's hostile or not. It's kind of like the standard of like, this is hostile. This is not hostile.
Okay. Okay, which is a very weird metric but it's just like here
it's the less violent way of before where you had to stab that one guy to see whether or not right just give him some water now like Yeah, okay. Do we know which
evolved past violence now to and we're on to almond water offerings
we went to the artists knew
exactly
how powerful occurs in this place.
So if you ever see a bird that resembles Jerry, please escape by any means possible. it's rumored that by giving him sunflower seeds or almond water, it will tame him, allowing you to pick it up safely. This will only work with the person who fed Jerry anyone else who holds Jerry will be affected normally. This unfortunately is not confirmed as there have been many contradicting accounts of you know feeding Jerry almond water and then also being mind controlled by him and led to
your death. It's not difficult To be led astray by Jerry because he's a fucking parrot like, you're in this giant labyrinth of things like skin stealers you have these smilers, you've got all these horrifying creatures. And you have a parrot who's semi sentient who wants to talk to you.
I kind of hope Gary the asshole was the one that was like, I'm gonna put Jerry Up In This Bitch.
I hope so.
That's all thanks.
So by picking Jerry up and feeding him, you kind of tame him. But again, it's not confirmed speculation because someone who had quote unquote tamed Jerry decided it would be fun to put Jerry in fryer oil and then try to cook the bird. their reasoning was literally quote unquote, because yes.
I mean, do you really need
explanation? I guess you don't worry Bird by
Bird.
So once the bird they were under the effect of Jerry the bird appeared around two days after that, kind of assuming that whoever cooked and ate Jerry is now dead. He became Jerry. Yep, this is one of the more interesting entities that exist with the factors Yeah, it's a fucking parrot that either love you or hate you or kill you or apparently can deep fry my fiance
right boys? So this is a roller coaster I
I was gonna say something and then
we Yeah, that's that's pretty much all the info we have on Jerry the bird laughs Lastly, I'd like to get into one last entity that does exists within the confines of the backrooms now I will say this is again to you purists out there I apologize profusely because this is definitely not can do but I'm gonna go ahead and decrease canon because I fucking love this entity. Now this dumb bear with me this entities name is uke thigh og durag
translates to iu
thigh og durag.
That's the Google Translate right there. Yes. translates a Harvey firestein I
looking at this name, you're like what the fuck is this thing? Although Doug and I might recognize what language it came from. Sure, too. If anyone's familiar with any type of Rylan, which is like the catonian language, you'll know exactly where this thing comes from. So are you excited her eggs are a group of entities. That hunt on levels two and four. They were discovered by a user who posted his experiences on Reddit. His name was Lord Mac
29. And he found there were two types of IU thought or eggs. First type was encounter previously when Lord Mack 29 entry level for their appearance is unknown, but it is known to mimic the voice of a friend or loved one. second variation is humanoid for the most part. However they like any facial features. Besides to pupils they make themselves known by humming
classical music. So if you hear any run as fast as you can and is for as long as you can, even when you can no longer hear the humming keep
crazy from
I'm just imagining fuckin Peter from family guy doing
Hey, hey.
No see, so it's not crazy for that axle axle.
The song title though? Good fogged is crazy frog
no it's excellent f
it's crazy frog by Axel f
if you text this number before 7pm you can get crazy for Nokia device
to know if you hear this humming the wrong his accent left by Harold fault Meyer.
Who the fuck is Harold falta Meyer
pretty sure no one gets it was from well the song is from Beverly Hills cops with Eddie Murphy. That's where the song originated.
Why is everything coming back to Eddie Murphy
right Crazy Frog
this happens every episode every
frog did a ream This is like a
seven Degrees of Kevin
Bacon. Same exact guy.
All right. We're entering the scary doors
speaking of So, If you hear this humming made from these creatures called the fuck How do you pronounce it? Are you exciter egg
yolk.
If you hear that run as fast as you can for as long as you can, even when you can no longer hear the humming run as fast as you can, and for as long as you can. Even when you no longer hear the humming keep running and sleep wherever you drop,
take take reference from Usain Bolt and and just
fucking go get out of there. There's a couple of reasons why.
The first one of my friends,
the first one might kind of surprise you.
If you're fortunate enough,
you run far enough away from this no one recognized dog.
Huh? What happened?
given us shifty eyes? I don't know what he said. I heard I missed it. But I got nothing. Okay. He's given us a shift
right now. So even if you're fortunate enough to run away from this thing, you don't hear the humming anymore. There's a small chance that you will wake no longer in the backrooms.
You will escape just for booking it.
Yeah, just for if you hear this humming, you will escape the backrooms.
Do you hear it now?
No.
That's the fucked up guys.
isn't even coming through. However,
I will say it's very slim chance. very slim.
It's always slim in the back rooms there. There is a an old tail when you're in like levels zero and one. kind of similar. That was if you just book it. You'll get out. If you just think, yep, I'm in the back. There's just my life and click your heels together. Yeah, if you're just like, this is my life now. The backrooms just makes a door that you can just fucking exit and you're back into real life as long as you accept your fate.
That's Yeah, I mean, it's, it's random whether or not that will happen or not. But so if you hear this humming from this thing called an IU exciter egg, fucking run, once your run until you are utterly exhausted, you will drop and fall asleep when you wake up, you may exit if you don't, they're just gonna keep chasing you. If they do manage to catch you, they will surround you and plunge you into insanity. Or, if you're lucky, they will tear you apart in the
blink of an eye. So basically, you're either plunged into this mental insanity that will tear your own psyche apart limb from limb for eternity, or you will literally be torn apart limb from limb in the blink of an eye. I prefer the latter. I read too much love crafts, and no
sanity sucks.
I'd rather just die if I'm being under present.
So since we're just talking about, you know, running and then an escape coming up, yeah. Can you escape the backrooms is that I know we mentioned it a little bit ago, but the chances are rare, but like they are
and like I said, the I thought Iraq is one of them, your fucking chances do so it's a very slim chance. But this slim chances.
Yeah, but how how slim? We are there are other detailed ways. You know, I mean, like other other multiple ways get out of every room? Do we know this?
So to answer your question, Mike, there are a couple of ways that we know how to exit the backrooms, whether that be you know, falling asleep from your phone. One of the one of the most recognized ways is once you're out of level zero, you enter a elevator door, and it has a chance of taking you either back to where you came from. Or you either go to level one or you go back to the beginning of level zero, which, in my opinion, the odds seem terrible
empathy.
But it really depends on who you ask. There's a lot of people that say, Hey, we have no confirmed accounts of people actually leaving the backrooms. But we also have a lot of first hand accounts that say they might have
he
The first thing to go ahead
real quick, just because it relates to the IU fighter eggs because they fall in the same level as what a lot of people consider to be the end. If you make it past these beings, you can encounter something called everyone it's called, but it's a room that contains a file, the file, its name is real life. So H a.xc is at the end. And apparently if you run that you have 5% chance of escaping, again, stacked the fuck against you. Five percents the
best number we've seen all night
seriously seriously, compared to my point 00001.
But I will say do this at your own fucking risk because if an eye direct does catch you, you will. You're dead. You're either dead or insane for life d d dead.
Yeah, there's like, this whole time there's been a couple people that have gone on like Reddit talking about their, like experience in the back room. So I guess you could say all of them escaped because they're talking about the backroom, how would they be able to reach us on Reddit and talk about it if they didn't get out of it? You know? Yeah. But there's, there's a couple like, there's a user named you slash warrior Bastion, who was able to escape. There's
you slash mugs, skeleton. And six Wesley Smith, which is my favorite, because he talks about how he actually owned a parrot named Jerry. And he was able to bring it back with him to the real world.
That's fucking cool, huh?
So he brought a Jerry with him.
That's incredible. Yeah.
How it happens. I know. There's also some like, there's a bunch of other stories out there that you can look into that are pretty detailed and fun. I didn't get wait to get into them. But there's one story about a guy going to like a doctor's office and he falls through the wall, the doctor's office, there's one about a guy who works at this office building. And he tries to play a trick on this woman in the elevator by pushing all the buttons but she does it first and and gets off the elevator.
He opens the elevator finally opens after all the buttons are pushed and he's in. I love zero. Yeah, there's a bunch of different stories that I would recommend reading because they're very fun reads, especially when you get into like the lore of everything. It's very, very fun. Very cool.
That also brings us to a really good point that I want to kind of drive across to everyone is that like, there's this very generalized yellow, like office building look to the back rooms. But that's not the case for everyone. Like, whatever the backrooms is, is kind of where you're at at the time, when like a very more like, monotone like weird feel to the thing. Not always that same look.
Think of it this way. If you ever find yourself in a room or a place that you aren't, like, familiar with, it just gives you the fucking creeps. And you're not sure like either how you got there or where to go from there. You're probably in part of the backrooms.
Yep. And you can kind of look at the backgrounds. It's like a purgatory. Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah, definitely agree.
But so speaking of like the lore behind the backrooms. I kind of wanted to go over, like, where it came from, and like what spawned all this attention on the backrooms and it's a post that came actually from 4chan. Fuck, I don't even know when,
where everything. April 21 2018 Yeah, April 21 2018. Everything horrible comes from 4chan.
You literally there's a post of this dingy, abandoned, almost office like
building. I love the image up on our Instagram too. Yeah,
well, we'll post it up. But it's got this this stupid Yellow Wallpaper all over everything is it just it looks terrible. And it was just that picture. And you got a comment underneath that said verbatim.
If you're not careful, and you know clip out of reality in the wrong areas, you'll end up in the back rooms, where it's nothing but the stink of old moist carpet, the madness of mano yellow, the endless background noise of fluorescent lights at maximum hum buzz, and approximately 600 million square miles of randomly segmented empty rooms to be trapped in God's save you if you hear something wandering around nearby, because it sure as hell
has heard you. lovin that's the original post that spawned the entirety. Is there all the lore behind their username
on that? Um, I know it's 4chan, so probably not. It's not it's a non
anonymous figure. Now Yeah, they don't really give anything. But so after this was posted, it began gaining traction. So on May 12 2019, anonymous user started a thread in the site's parallel board acts inviting users to post pictures of disquieting images that just feel off A user posted a picture of a yellow room, an off center angle. He's replied with the narrative about the picture that basically goes over what I just said. After that
happened started spreading. So on May 14, another thread combined the picture and the content appeared. Two days later, the post appeared on on Reddit on our green text on the caption, worse than any creepy pasta out there getting gaining over 32,000 points, which is fucking huge. It's fucking massive. And then on May 18, another writer by, you know, your d&d guy, which might shout out. Oh, yeah, absolutely. He then posted the story that we heard earlier. It was inspired
by this original post. After that, it just became it gained a fuckload of traction and now you see kind of where it is now became its own entity. After all, it reminds me of SCP where like something Yeah, it starts with something very simple and then people enjoyed it and just start adding and adding and adding and that's where is that now? Yep, it's fucking
ridiculous. There's so it's gone from like, just a myth to like this one yellow room to now having over 1000 plus levels over 600 million square miles. Like
one of the big reasons it caught on to in my opinion is because the the yellow room, I feel like everyone has this like feeling of like nostalgia to something familiarity ever. Everyone, you see that you see that room and you're like, I feel like I've seen this somewhere before that ties
into the whole luminous areas thing. Like it's basically it's just places that you feel like you've seen before. But in kind of like a more like, I'm not even sure how like what words to describe it as, but it's a place you've been before that you've seen before that you know, but
doesn't quite look right. It's somewhat familiar.
Like you get this weird, you get this weird lighting in a place that once was familiar. But now it looks not familiar, even though you think it's familiar. And I actually like it. For me personally. Anyway, that picture reminds me of
a certain section of a store called Nordstrom, that was out in the Oak Brook mall that I used to go to all the time with my mom when I was super young. And they had this like near the changing rooms, they had a section of just like unfinished, like room that looks very fucking similar to this. So as soon as I read anything about this, my brain goes like, Oh my god, I think I've seen part of this.
So I I have two bits that I want to say for like, final thoughts. Good
word that
I was about to ask. Are we at our final thoughts here? Oh, yeah, there's Okay. Great. Thank you. Doug, dogs The reason I drink. So my whole thing on why these rooms look very familiar is because how bland they are. It's just like, it's described as just white wallpaper or Yellow Wallpaper. With beige carpets. If you walk into any like any like low quality like doctor's office, or like dentist office, some some outdated office, you're gonna see this type of wallpaper, which is why
it looks so familiar. We've all been in a place with these color schemes where it's very mirror very familiar colors, very just muted colors that are common in the ordinary, you know, just exactly generic.
That's honestly why it's like weird for me, because so my dad, he works for State Farm. And like way back in the day when like you do, like Bring Your Child to Work Day. I wouldn't go to his office. But like, for whatever reason, like every memory I have of going there, it seemed like there was like maybe like a handful of people in the office. But it was just like an office building fucking fluorescent lights. Yep, weird hallways that you'd have
to go down. And then you'd hit one room that just has a bunch of cubicles in it and like, maybe one or two people were there. So you'd see all these empty cubicles, very, like miniscule lighting, but still fully lit because of those fluorescent lights sounds like
just weird. That's why it comes off as familiar. And even if you look at like, let's take the show. The Office for example, is just an office space with for fluorescent lighting. The walls are
kind of dingy Can we just call the office the backroom sure why the fuck not. They're all just
like you seen these kind of, you've seen these colorings before you seen these rooms? Kind of before? Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean earlier and everyone can identify with it, which is again, like I'm so happy, Doug that you brought this to our attention because I've heard little snippets here and there about the backroom but I never ever, ever did like a deep dive on it. And yeah, we thought
yeah, this is very fun. Yeah, it's very fucking fun. Because every room is different. It reminds me of why I like SCP. Because every SCP is different. Every room is different. It's so fun.
There's that but so there's a there's a show on Netflix right now. It's it's only it's subtitled. It's a Japanese show.
Oh, the the Borderlands. No, no, that
the high rise is good to know. I'm talking it's called I think it's called Alison borderland, or the Borderlands or something like that. It's about these people who get locked down in the city and have to go through these different trials in different set like situations and like office buildings and shit like that. It reminds me of that, where it's like this game that people are
competing to survive in. So again, if you've ever thought about checking out a something similar to this is like a TV series check out Allison borderland, I think that's what's called, I hope that's what it's called
no find it.
If you search Borderlands on Netflix, you'll fucking find it. And
you might get the video game Who the fuck knows. But I will say there's one other thing that hit me on the way here that I think this might have drawn inspiration from or it might be referencing a little bit. I know we talked about the references to something like Dante's Inferno where there's the nine, level nine levels of hell, and there's a lot nine main levels of this. Something else that it kind of sparked me is this kind of gives off simulation theory vibes. Reason being God, I can't
wait to do this. If you know anything about Hollywood, a lot of video games work, a lot of like game developers will create a room outside of the map that you can walk around. And it's just this little room and they'll put like the items in this room that they are they're going to use in the map. So they can just kind of like shortcut drag and drop them into the map.
The back rooms because they have so many random objects they have like, sometimes they have office desks, they have lighters, they have almond water, it's like the dashboard for life. Yeah, it's it's like this, this dev back room of just random objects that the simulation is pulling to put into the real life quote, unquote, simulation. Like Like, for example, if you're playing like, Call of Duty,
if you can call to shoot a man, if you're playing Call of Duty, shoot a man,
you can, if you clip out of the map, you'll find a little room that the devs have just stocked piles of guns in and like beat up cars and everything. Because they'll use those items. They'll just drag it and drop it into the main map. It's easier for them just to drag and drop and create it every time. Exactly. And that's what this kind of reminds me of as it's just kind of like it really is a back room. It's
just a room full of random shit back end of a web page.
It's practically a warehouse for the story. Yeah, it's it's a repository for game developers, which adds to simulation theory if we're programming the back rooms is the shit that they're just pulling items from to put into our real world.
And I promise we will do an episode on simulation theory. I'm way too paranoid about it to not so I mean, again, I did spend several hours in the bathroom one day and I was really
yeah, that kind of hit me on the way over here. I was like was just a dumping ground for items for the game. Where a game man
practically assume
well if you guys had weren't smoking weed before now roll up up a baby leg baby leg is always an ode to last five guys yeah,
every time fucking love them.
Shit.
I think that's uh yeah, I think that kind of sums up the backroom sums
it up I mean, obviously doesn't cover close to everything.
Yeah, if you guys are interested There is so much to look up and there's so much to read about you know all the different levels all the other monsters there are so many fucking monsters By the way, though. There's
so fucking me. I'm gonna post dragons. There are dragons dragons. There's normal people like I'm gonna post the link to like the wiki for all this shit on the episode description so you guys will get a look at it. I know. We say it every time but go through this. Honestly if you want to. They made they've made games about this. Well, this
definitely is
Garry's mods a good one. Yeah. Where you can fucking find the backrooms. You can do a multiplayer backrooms, which I think would be a fantastic way to start kickoff like a YouTube channel,
right like that. Yeah, well, this
definitely is one that you're gonna want to do more of a deep dive in. It's kind of like SCP. There's so many FCPS there's so many rooms in the back room. That We're just not going to be to cover them all. So if you want a lot more of the lore look into it, it's very entertaining.
There's a wiki
so that's exactly the wiki we're really good at separates everything from room to room.
Yeah, that's gonna be your hub of information as
well we'll leave the link for that wiki in the description as well
as well as all of our information to go find and like us on social you will find this at our link today just link tree that the ludi pod you can find us on Patreon if you'd like to support us we would fucking love you forever as we've already done twice. We're gonna gush about you we always will
I can't believe Jason's taking my my I saw the fucking say hey, I was just about to say that what a fucking I'm over here on a bird scooter you're on the fucking Mondo segway Damn son.
Keep going. No seriously find this anywhere that you can fucking devour a podcast we
are diluted pod in just about everything you find on the
site. just literally Google is diluted Louis pod Dont Look Under The Internet. It doesn't fucking matter. At this point. You're gonna find us
our link tree has our main sources. But again patreon.com slash WTF pod. YouTube Dont Look Under The Internet. But I'm pretty sure you could find us under the luti pod. Doug, can you verify that? Again?
The channels just Dont Look Under The Internet.
Yeah.
Okay. Everything where do you actually
if you go follow us, subscribe to us on YouTube. We actually have some some fun things coming. I'm not going to give them away here. But if you go subscribe, you'll see me you will be in tune to what we are doing and I guarantee you will not be disappointed. Yeah. So please listen to us, share us tell your friends about us. And again, it instead of having to look up the loony pod on all of these things.
Just again, please just use our link tree. It's so much easier for you because you just have to go to link tree comm slash delivery pod. It has our YouTube and my is our Twitter. It has our Instagram has our Facebook. It has our apple podcasts or Spotify. They have everything. Everything in there. And on top
of all of this Mike will validate your parking.
He will Yeah.
Yeah, every parking validation. Dad kiss.
Yeah, I owe you all a dead kiss. As well as shots.
So real quick. I really just want to shout out your d&d guy for the creepy pasta that we read. Whoever the original 4chan poster was, thank
you for this awesome story.
Yeah, but mainly your d&d guy.
Yeah, we didn't take a lot
of insight you were not gonna even see stuff.
We appreciate it. The fandom wiki. I took a lot of my info from the fandom wiki. Fright Night on YouTube. That's night with a K like medieval Knight. I took a little bit of his information as well or not took but I use him for inspiration as well for a couple things.
Fucking just honestly, look up the backrooms on YouTube. You're gonna find a fuckload of videos. play the games. They're terrifying. They're amazing. Check out the the wiki. I mean, it's got all the information you could possibly fucking need. But most importantly, and I will say this every goddamn time is that you need to stay paranoid.
Mmm hmm.
This is a good one for me.
Have a lead up to that explains what you're doing.
Do I want you guys to slap peens this time I'm not sure. Maybe if you shake your beans, shake, shake beans vigorously shake.
Shake your beans, man.
Shake them all the time. Just shake peens and shake beans. I don't even want you to slap them this time. They're probably sore as fuck from listening to so just shake him as give him give him a day off. Go Go have a
well, a Health Day. You know I want you to if you haven't already draw a bath. Okay, put a bath bomb in there. Okay, get yourself a nice alcoholic drink. Okay, if you prefer to smoke, get yourself a nice baby's leg of Mirror Mirror marijuana.
I can rip a dab bro. And
then I want to reach under the bathroom cabinet. I want you to pull out that special item that's been on there for months now. It's a pineapple. Take that pineapple. I want you to carve it up. Nice. carve it up nice and slowly. Get all that skin off. I want you to carve it into the shape of a tooth. Orthon is coming to you. He's coming to your dreams. He's going to give you 11 months. He's going to view malevolence. He's going to be the follower. It is going to
be the Bringer. He is going to be your dentist I'm so go to your dentist. Because it's probably time for probably tougher checkup go see your dentist and also be your best person. I love you.
We do we love you all. Thank you so much for listening.
I give you a raspberry right now ready
that's where we have to