Luke and his wife have been married for 25 years and have struggled with sex through most of that time. Things changed after kids and his wife experienced post-partum depression. Her libido plumeted and didn’t come back. Luke took the stance that this was her problem to solve and waited for years for her to 'fix' herself. It wasn’t until they found Janna and the Doing It Together program that Luke learned how big of a role he played in the lack of intimacy in their relationship. He shares what h...
Mar 11, 2025•54 min
Janna discovered Jaime and Josh through their shared Instagram profile, @marriageishappening , and was so moved by their marriage story that she invited them to join her on the podcast. Married at 21 with four kids soon after, they initially adhered to traditional gender roles—Jaime stayed at home while Josh worked outside the house. Jaime, an extrovert, describes early parenthood as a time filled with "shock and horror." She found herself isolated in a basement suite with no help, limited adult...
Mar 04, 2025•1 hr 9 min
Keith continues his story from Episode 134, diving deeper into his experience of starting the Doing It Together (DIT) program with his wife. Having gone through his own therapy, Keith thought he was way ahead of the game when he began DIT. However, he quickly realized the role he played in his relationship dynamic was much more complex than he had originally thought. In this episode, Keith shares the valuable lessons he learned about processing emotions, truly listening to and understanding his ...
Feb 25, 2025•42 min
In this two-part episode, Keith shares the first part of his story. Growing up as a child of color, Keith learned early on what was and wasn’t acceptable to express around his family and friends, especially the men and boys. While the women in his life supported his artistic side and sensitivity, Keith feared being labeled as weak or ridiculed by the men. His culture taught him that toughness and strength were the key qualities of being a "real" man. As a result, Keith struggled with his emotion...
Feb 18, 2025•1 hr 11 min
In this enlightening episode, 40-year-old Brandi shares her inspiring journey of self-discovery and rekindled desire. Growing up in southern Utah within the Mormon faith, Brandi's sex education was rooted in the belief of abstinence until marriage. After her first marriage ended due to years of betrayal, she ventured into the eye-opening world of online dating before meeting her current husband. In the beginning, their sex life was amazing, but after she became pregnant, her desire faded c...
Feb 11, 2025•49 min
Kate and her husband started out having what she describes as a great sex life. It felt exciting, easy and fun and her pleasure was easily accessible. As the years passed and life got more stressful and overwhelming, her desire plummeted. She couldn’t understand what happened. She started keeping a calendar to track how often they had sex and if too much time went by she would shame herself into doing it. Even though sex felt fine in the moment, she had no desire and felt broken and very alone. ...
Feb 04, 2025•59 min
On the final day of the last round of Doing It Together , Janna and her team gathered all the husbands and wives for a farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, she asked, "What’s been your most unexpected takeaway from this program?" The couples’ honest responses were deeply moving. After just eight weeks on their journey, they had already made remarkable progress in rekindling their intimacy. Although the journey wasn’t without its challenges, witnessing their progress in real-time...
Jan 28, 2025•1 hr 4 min
In this special episode, Janna talks with her coaching teammates, Justin and Melissa, about the upcoming round of Doing It Together, what couples can expect from the program, and common questions they are asked about low libido and sexual connection from both men and women. Justin and Melissa answer: What are men and women worried about when considering joining Doing It Together? What would you say to someone considering joining but is on the fence? What do you hear men and women share about the...
Jan 21, 2025•49 min
From a young age, Kris learned to suppress his emotions and handle his feelings alone. His friends, family, and culture reinforced this mindset, showing him quick fixes for managing his growing anxiety, such as drinking alcohol, using drugs, or turning to adult entertainment. Over time, he became an expert at burying his emotions, but this came at a cost—dark moods, silence, and withdrawal from his family and marriage. After decades of living this way, Kris hit a breaking point and, with hesitat...
Jan 14, 2025•49 min
Chloe and her husband, married for 12 years, struggled with their intimate relationship from the very beginning. However, they found it difficult to have honest conversations with each other. Both raised in Britain with the belief in keeping a “stiff upper lip,” discussing emotions or sensitive topics didn’t come naturally to them. Her husband’s moods often turned dark and tense, and Chloe learned to tread carefully, trying to manage his unspoken feelings. Instead of confronting the issues, they...
Jan 07, 2025•1 hr 5 min
Tim and his wife have been married for 30 years. Their initial connection was deep and fulfilling, but once they got married, something changed. His wife began to touch him less and less, and Tim felt rejected and confused. This led to frequent arguments. After their three kids moved out, Tim hoped things would improve, but they didn’t. He fell into an emotional spiral, convincing himself that the only explanation was that his wife no longer loved him. Thankfully, Tim’s wife discovered Janna’s p...
Jan 01, 2025•1 hr 1 min
33-year-old Bri was convinced something was wrong with her. She hadn't been intimate with her husband in over two years, and their once passionate relationship had dwindled to a series of weekly arguments and frustrations on both sides. She was convinced she had low libido because she was too young to have lost interest in sex—what else could it be? After following Janna for several years, Bri and her husband decided to enroll in Doing It Together to finally understand what had gone wrong with t...
Dec 24, 2024•45 min
Jason describes himself as an adventurous thrill-seeker, always in search of a rush. When he discovered the internet in college and the types of images and videos that could be accessed secretly and anonymously, it led him down a dark path marked by decades of manipulation, lying, and gaslighting as he tried to protect his secret behaviours. His marriage suffered as a result, but he was unable to recognize the damage his actions were causing to his wife. He believed he knew the "right way" for i...
Dec 17, 2024•53 min
As a young girl trying to understand sex and sexuality, Kelly experienced a lot of shame from her parents and the small-town culture she grew up in. Without any sex education, she and her friends had to figure things out on their own, trying their best to support each other along the way. Now, as a mother raising two daughters, Kelly still sees the same shame directed at young women and the sexualized way they are often viewed. These messages had a significant impact on Kelly’s own intimate life...
Dec 10, 2024•49 min
Zack had always thought of himself as respectful towards women—until he confronted the reality of how his daily consumption of porn, starting at age 12, affected his relationship with his wife. For over 20 years, this habit was a part of his life, and though he never intended to objectify anyone, he learned that it deeply harmed his ability to connect emotionally and intimately with his wife. Through the Doing It Together program, Zack took a hard look at his behaviors and realized just ho...
Dec 03, 2024•35 min
Janna is joined by Danielle, the creator, host, and executive producer of the Sex Ed with DB podcast . Danielle's current series, Rom-Com V🤮m , is a rewatch podcast focused on 90s and early 2000s rom-coms. In it, she unpacks the toxic lessons these films teach about sex and attempts to rewrite the script. In this episode, Janna and Danielle dive into several iconic sex scenes from movies and TV, analyzing the messages they convey—both positive and negative. They explore how th...
Nov 26, 2024•57 min
In this week’s episode, Janna sits down with Zoe, who shares her deeply personal journey through 30 years of struggles with intimacy in her marriage. For years, what was meant to be a natural part of life became a chore—a cycle of guilt, resentment, and exhaustion that left her feeling broken. Even after the kids moved out, Zoe thought the situation would improve, but it didn’t. When her husband expressed his dissatisfaction, Zoe blamed herself, unsure how to break free from the pattern that had...
Nov 12, 2024•52 min
In this empowering solo episode of Doing It Together, host Janna Denton-Howes delves into the transformative power of self-advocacy for women. Janna, a seasoned relationship coach and sex educator, shares her insights on overcoming cultural barriers to embrace true pleasure and connection. Discover the essential stages of self-advocacy, the roadblocks you might face, and the importance of understanding your unique needs. Janna also introduces her new program, Wanting It More Foundations, designe...
Nov 07, 2024•19 min
Too often, societal pressures push women into roles where productivity and selflessness overshadow the importance of personal joy and connection. Instead of being encouraged to embrace their desires and fully experience their bodies, many women find themselves burdened by guilt, expectation, and a sense of duty to provide for others. This episode uncovers how these ingrained beliefs create barriers to genuine enjoyment in the bedroom, and lead women to feel a low desire for sex. Janna shares pra...
Oct 30, 2024•27 min
I have some very exciting news! After years of requests from thousands of women, I'm finally ready to launch a DIY video and journaling program specifically designed for women. This course is your first gentle step toward gaining clarity about your feelings toward sex. Wanting It More Foundations aims to empower women through reflection and observation. You'll experience freedom and relief as you discover your true self and understand your needs. You don’t need to involve your partner in this pr...
Oct 23, 2024•29 min
Janna is joined by licensed professional counselor Dr. Jake Porter to explore the complex dynamics of shame and secrecy surrounding pornography and sex addiction in relationships. They discuss the role of denial and defense mechanisms while emphasizing the value of the therapeutic disclosure process. Listeners will receive advice on where to seek help and how to navigate the healing journey. Dr. Porter shares insights on the importance of being honest with your partner and the potential damage c...
Oct 15, 2024•59 min
Janna has an eye-opening conversation with Dr. Ashley Southard, a licensed marriage and family therapist of 22 years, about her work helping overfunctioning women in love with underfunctioning partners. They discuss what this dynamic looks like for both women and men, why women tend to take on the emotional labour for both partners, and what women can do to self-restore inside or outside of the relationship. Find all of Dr. Ashley's resources here: http://drashleysouthard.com/resources Jan...
Oct 08, 2024•1 hr
We are re-airing this episode in which Janna gathers with real couples who have completed the Doing It Together program and asks, “ In what beneficial ways has the program impacted your life or marriage that you didn't expect?”. You'll hear from both men and women on what they learned and how they are applying this new knowledge to strengthen themselves, their marriages, and their intimate relationship with one another. This recording is from the last round before the name change, so that is why...
Oct 01, 2024•56 min
Janna answers the most common questions she's asked by both men and women about her Doing It Together program. If you're considering joining the next round, this is a great short episode to listen to. To hear the wrap-up call with husbands and wives from last round, listen to Ep. 62 . Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration. The next round of Doing It Together runs June/July 2025. Join the Waitlist. Learn about the Doing It Together program de...
Sep 24, 2024•23 min
With the next round of Doing It Together approaching, we’re excited to introduce Janna’s team and share their personal stories and insights. Melissa and Justin, both alumni of the program, discuss their experiences of taking the program, what participants can expect from the 8-week course, and their dedication to changing the narrative around low libido in women and the realities of sex in marriage. Melissa and Justin share how Janna’s approach to sex and intimacy has profoundly impacted their l...
Sep 17, 2024•46 min
Sandra shares her incredible journey of transforming painful sexual experiences into a space of safety and pleasure. She recalls how, in the early days of her marriage, she and her husband were deeply connected and satisfied with their intimate life. However, after the traumatic birth of her fifth child, Sandra suffered a severe pelvic injury that left her in constant pain and made traditional intercourse nearly impossible. This created a fear of sex and a sense of rejection for her husband. But...
Sep 10, 2024•50 min
Janna chats with Michael Kaufman, the author of The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution . Michael, a renowned advisor, activist, and keynote speaker, shares his insights on how traditional male roles in the bedroom and beyond often don’t benefit women. They dive into why it's crucial for men to confront their own privilege and engage in open dialogues about gender equality. Michael also discusses the rapid shifts in societal roles for both men and women. By listening ...
Sep 03, 2024•55 min
Janna speaks with Ericka about the use of alcohol and how it can become a crutch in intimate situations. Ericka started drinking in high school, initially finding that alcohol eased her anxiety and helped her feel more relaxed before sexual encounters. However, this pattern led to risky situations and a troubling reliance on alcohol to numb out her fears and concerns about sexual performance. The result was a disconnection from her true feelings and intuition. Now four years sober, Ericka has cr...
Aug 27, 2024•42 min
We are rebroadcasting one of Janna's favorite episodes: her fascinating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist who specializes in sex and gender issues. Dr. Schermer Seller is the author of one of Janna's favorite and most recommended books, Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. In this episode, Dr. Schermer Seller discusses her research on the Christian conservative church and the rise of abstinence-only education and purity cult...
Aug 20, 2024•56 min
We are rebroadcasting our very popular episode with betrayal trauma expert Michelle Mays. Partner betrayal is SO complex compared to other forms of trauma. The lying, manipulation, scapegoating and gaslighting create a cycle of shame of wanting to simultaneously connect and disconnect from a cheating partner. Michelle shares her own betrayal story and outlines the rationalization, minimization and justification used by cheating partners to make their behaviour ok. She also speaks to the vi...
Aug 13, 2024•55 min
