Welcome to the Pet Grooming Business podcast with me, Bill Betts, where we give practical business advice to help you grow your pet grooming business. This podcast is sponsored by Low Pay, the low rate payment app that gives you more. So without further ado, let's get going. Excellent. Hello, everyone. Welcome to this episode of the podcast and Facebook Live. And we are going to be chatting all about joy this morning. So I'm joined by Raquel, the empowerment life coach. Welcome, Raquel.
How are you? Very well. Excited to be here. Good, good. Did you have a good weekend? I did, I did. Added some joy in there, you know, here and there, everywhere. I was a craft. So that was. That was joyful but busy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excellent. So I wanted. We have had a chat earlier before, haven't we? And we talked about ego and we touched a bit on finding joy in your life.
But I wanted to invite you back to, to specifically talk about joy because I think joy is something that's missing from many of our lives. And I really like the spin that you have on it on how we have to go out and find it. So tell us how you sort of discovered this journey where you. You focus on joy. I've always been joyful. As in, I have high energy, I'm very expressive. I've always been joyful. And then my life imploded. Life just didn't work.
How things were terrible at the time and because things were wrong in every area and they just kept going wrong. At the beginning it was just fear. Like I was just in fear all the time. And then I just stopped feeling anything. I was just numb. And for a long time I thought, oh, it's just this difficult moment. Joy will come back. And then I realized that it wasn't coming back. So I was alive and I was in function mode, just doing and taking the next step.
But I just felt this dead inside, just emptiness inside. It's just void. I didn't have enthusiasm for anything. I didn't have excitement about anything. Everything was just like, get it done, move on, get it done, move on. And I then realized that I had been relying on feeling joy as an external thing. So if someone brought it to me, like someone delivered it to me, I would feel it. And if my circumstances were good, then it could be exacerbated. You know, I could really thrive in it.
But when that wasn't there and I didn't have that reliability of my day to day with things that were going well, I looked around and I thought, well, I don't have much But I can have a really good shower. I can have that. And it was very much where these very small, tiny things became the moments when I felt alive, I felt pleasure, I felt connected, I wanted to smile. And they were tiny, but they were very significant. And I think that's the point.
A lot of the times that I speak about joy, people will not necessarily say it. Some do, but the majority just has this thing where they're thinking, oh, but that's just so small like that. That really won't make a big difference. But it's like a chicken, you know, they only have one tiny bit of corn, but over the whole day they're full, you know, so it's the small things that add up and they come into big things. My joy came back in a very difficult time. I could connect again.
And then it's just like a puzzle over time. When I decided to do my coaching, my first client told me I have no joy. And I was thinking, oh, you do. Just don't know that you do. And I then decided that joy was a great method in coaching to get people to be more alive and to celebrate what they have and to be more in control, feel safer and more connected and more. There's more smiles, regardless of your circumstances, I think.
I think that's quite an interesting point that your, your client made. I have no joy. And I wonder if people that are listening sort of will be thinking, well, I think we, we. We disconnect from that joy, don't we? We, we maybe forget what it's like and maybe we, we find a lot of joy in childhood, but then as we come into adulthood and things become, like, serious and, you know, and. And the, the world isn't really set up for joy. It's set up to keeping us fearful, isn't it? So, yes. Is there.
I don't know if there's that responsibility Bill. Right. As you come into even the end of your teenage years, the to do list gets more impactful. Like, what job are you going to take? What course are you going to do? How are you going to earn money? And then you want your house, and then that comes with bills. And you see what I mean? Like all these responsibilities, and the responsibilities come, and then once you get into those, your chores explode.
Like the things that you need to do to keep the responsibility taking over. And you're absolutely right. The older we are, the more we dismiss it. What I do think is that it goes back to that point that you were saying that because it's a little bit dismissive we are a bit dismissive about it. We don't really value it so much. We don't even notice it so much.
It's very much because the older you get, the more you get into these either or situation, like it's going well or it's not, I am healthy or I'm not, I'm happy or I'm sad. And it's these extreme views of it is or it isn't, when in reality it coexists. Your realities coexist. You might be doing really well at work and your health isn't doing well, or you're doing great in your relationships, but something else isn't working for you.
So there are multitude of areas in our lives and we just tend to focus on either I'm doing really well or I'm not doing really well. And they coexist. So that is a big part of my concept of joy, is that life isn't either or life is also. And. And it's understanding that things coexist. And if today, for some reason, you lost all your income, you're devastated, you get that blow, oh, oh, oh, oh, how am I going to do this? But in the same day, in the same hour, you might be elated.
You just experience the most beautiful orgasm that can happen on the same day in the same hour. But we tend to dismiss the good when we are in the bad. And it's also this other thing that I have experienced with some clients, which is a sense of betrayal, a sense of guilt. So imagine that you have lost all your income and something lovely happens. A song, your kid, something happens that is quite nice. You almost feel like you're betraying your sadness.
If you're gonna smile now, if I'm gonna celebrate this, then really that bad thing, I'm making it not bad when it is really bad. All the guilt of it, either for yourself or somebody else. Say your wife is very ill. You're thinking, I can't be smiling. Like, why am I smiling? If she isn't well, or something bad happened to you and you're like, well, then it isn't painful if I can smile. And the truth is, we do have a whole. If we visualize our lives as a massive mansion.
You have millions of rooms in there, you know, dozens at least. And it's not because one is destroyed or really in tatters and it needs the rebuild and it needs work on it, that the entire house is to be dismissed. Like there are other rooms in that house. And it's understanding that, okay, we've got to focus on that room and what's the work that needs to be done there. But there are so many beautiful rooms, too. This podcast is sponsored by Low Pay. Low pay is half the price of.
Sum up and Zettel. So you keep more of the money that you earn. Rate start at 0.79%. Do you think some people sort of say, I haven't. They struggle with the energy to. To summon joy. Like things are happening over and over again. It's like I'm just too tired. Just too. Like, I can't look at. I can't invite this into my life because I'm just tired, and I'm just tired of trying to live life. Yes. And you have your endless chores, as we mentioned as well.
On top of that, there's also the dismissal that joy has be clapping in balloons and confetti and jumping up and down. And that is one of the possible joys. But I really want everybody to understand is that joy can be beautiful and powerful and really quiet. Really quiet. You can look at a painting and think, wow. Like, wow, like how what is that? I felt something. And you might not even say it to anybody else, but that's a quiet moment.
I know you in particular feel that with nature, and for you, it's very much about the birds and their movement and looking at them. For somebody else, it might be the trees or the ocean or you know what I mean? But we find it in nature, we find it in art. We find it in small details. And you don't have to be in a high level of energy to look at your bird. But there's one thing looking at the bird and thinking, oh, he's pretty, she's pretty.
And another one is to look at it and go, I'm having a moment of joy. And I think that's step one for joy, is you need to label it. You need to think about the things that you enjoy, that you like, that are good, that you smile at and go, is that a joy for me? Does that give me joy? And from there you have step one, which is, you know, this thing is joy. And number, too, is you start layering it. You start adding more layers to it. Like, how big can I make it?
What else can I add to this to make it more impactful, more, you know, to expand it, to make it more impactful when you do it. So sometimes I suppose it's highlighting to yourself what you find joyful. And then I suppose sometimes it's. I think it's being selfish as well, isn't it? So that saying, no, I don't, you know, I don't particularly find that joyful, but I find this joyful and not.
Yes, everyone's different and I suppose we're, we're forced to look at things and watch videos and tick tock and stuff like that. And everyone's going to enjoy something differently. And be silly, you know, like, don't tell me if you think, oh, she's not gonna like it or she's gonna think I'm nuts or, you know, whatever you're gonna think, you have to tell me what brings you joy, but just accept that it does. Like, I, I, I met someone who loves donkeys. Yeah. Not saying it's wrong or right.
I'm just saying donkeys make this person have that big smile, finds them funny, finds them unique, finds them different. I don't know why, but, but don't go. Donkeys would sound crap. Like, I can't tell anybody that I like donkeys or the I enjoy it or that they make me feel good, you know, so it doesn't matter what it is. Be silly with it. It's that playful side, like what makes you happy, what makes that smile pop in.
And it could be humor, it could be the, the leisurely things that you do just because you enjoy doing them, you know, I know there's a lot of men that are knitting that was associated with women, but some women love golf and for a long time that was associated with men. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't really matter what it is, but if there's something that brings out that aliveness in you, accept that it does and lean into it. I, I got some bits to share, actually.
I don't know if I'm doing this. Yes, please, we like that. So this morning, like getting the kids ready for school, you know, doing the lunches and stuff, I was listening to some Katy Perry remixes, which brought me a lot of joy. Yes. But it didn't bring my household a lot of joy, I don't think. Who cares, Bill? It's daddy time right now. Tom. Tom came down. My son was just like, oh, not this again. God damn it. Why, Sean?
I've got an example actually of where I've, when I was, I used to be in, I used to be in the place. And you know, you go through your life and you have a lot of weddings and christenings and stuff like that, and parties and I used to enjoy dancing to music. So be a bit wacky up dance floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I went through sort of some. Some struggles with mental ill health and stuff like that. And I'd.
I'd go to like weddings and stuff, and I just couldn't summons that motivation to go and dance. And I really. Dance. Yeah. Actually, I've. I really. It highlighted me that that had stolen the joy from my life. And I actually thought these sort of words, he's stolen the joy from my life. Because the way the. My work made me feel. So that was quite telling. I thought that was quite interesting. That is telling as well, in the sense that we have this concept of joy, that it's like the lottery.
We may get it. And when it arrives, will I be the one who gets the prize? And when is it? Is it soon? Will it arrive? Will it come to me? And that's one of the biggest pillars of my concept of joy, is that you need to reach for joy. You can't wait for joy to come to you. I didn't feel relaxed enough to. In that. In that room or whatever. I didn't feel relaxed enough to just go. Normally I'd be quite happy just to go and do some dead dancing and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that time in my life, the way I was feeling, I didn't feel relaxed enough to go and just go and dance like I used to. And the thinking that you're having that it's been stolen from you also reveals that it's something that you have lost, that you can't get it back. It isn't available anymore. Do you see what I mean? Yeah. But joy is available to us all the time. If you don't feel well for the dancing, like, you can't summon the energy for that joy.
You're not relaxed, you don't feel confident. Whatever it is, I can't get into dancing. There will be other joys that you can have. And then you just build on it, like, because you are having joy with your birds and then you're having joy elsewhere, then eventually just gonna dance at home and then at the party. You see what I mean? But it's about you knowing that joy isn't given to you or taken away. Joy is within reach.
Every moment of every day, every moment you want to feel joy, you just decide, I want joy right now. And you press play. And that is the audio that you have from Tom that you find really funny. That message that he sent you, that is looking for your birds, that is having your favorite drink, that whatever it is, you can have it. Yeah. And there was a bit of dancing this morning. In the kitchen.
Yay. Yay. With the terrible soundtrack that nobody approves of, but you're loving, and that's what matters. Well, what's interesting, though, if you. When. So you felt like what I was talking about, that dancing stuff, but you fast forward it to Christmas this year, last year, because, you know, Christmas yet. Yeah. Thought fast forward to Christmas 2024. We went out, my clients had, like, a Christmas party in London, and there was some dancing in there. You know, sorry, serious dancing.
I did a. I put a Facebook post on the next day going, you know, if you're. If you're a business owner, like, go and get yourself out and do some dancing. Because it was really. It really dissipated a lot of the stress. But it showed how my life had moved on to the point where I was actually now comfortable and. Yes. And had the energy to. To do that. And like this morning, like you're saying, joy is kind of a choice, isn't it?
So the choice for me in the morning is, you know, switch the radio on. And I am a bit of a Radio 4 listener, so then I love radio, too. I love the surprise of it. Radio 4, any. Any radio. I'm not like a specific one, but I just love the concept of radio. The unexpected that's coming next. I. But it's pretty dire, isn't it? The radio at the moment and news. So the choice was this morning was, you know, switch that radio on or switch a Katy Perry podcast on. Say so. Yeah, you do.
You choose, don't you? You have that choice to embrace joy or. Or not. Or go and find it, like you said. I went and found it. You need to reach for it. You need to go and get it. It isn't like, when is he gonna arrive? And it hasn't been for a while. And why is it? You really need to go and get it? And I think the first step is for you to find the things that make you smile and then label them joy. So when you do it, you do it with a different energy now because, you know, I mean, joy.
I'm going for joy. And then it's the layering of it, because you can expand it, you can make it bigger and better, but it's also understanding that joy isn't necessarily the clapping in the. You can have joy when you're really, really sad, Bill. And I think people don't talk about that because it isn't clapping and balloons and confetti, but when you're really, really sad, having something that's soothing, that's comforting, that's reassuring is really important.
I know that when I'm sad, not angry, that's a different energy. But when I'm just sad, I might want to have the sad thing a little bit. But when I'm ready to get out of it, when I'm like, damn, like, just stop this. God. Which is how, how long is this going to be? Live comedy, just choosing a live performance on the TV of stand up comedy. I know that's what I need because I need to laugh.
I need to find the ridiculous in stuff, I need to look at those connections that I wouldn't have made and just laugh. And it moves me out of this passive heavy into the giggles and the different energy that I have when I'm laughing. And it gives me perspective, it gives me that, that practical sense of life is also. And like I am sad about that. That hasn't changed. I'm sad, but can I laugh? Can I rejoice in something being funny? Yes, I can. That's still around.
And it just really works your nervous system to be more able to adjust to whatever situation. Because as you know, at this point in your life you've had the good, the bad, the ugly in different shades and intensities. But it's knowing that whatever, there is a joy to be had. And I was working with someone who was in grief and we had a really wonderful conversation.
And at the end he wasn't just remembering the loss, he was remembering what he lived with his mom and how special that was and how many wonderful memories he had. But he was just connecting to the there will be no more and I won't have it again. And at the end he's connecting to, I've had it and it's been wonderful and what else can I do? Do to get it bigger and, and do it with her and for her and. And now he's connecting to his joys and he's alive. That hasn't killed his sadness.
You see what I mean? It's just put sadness in the place of you're here, you've got your role, but life isn't over because of you. Life is still happening. And I want to connect to that because I don't know what you need less less of, but what you absolutely need more of is this sense of being alive. You were talking about responsibility, you were talking about chores, you're talking about this grown up world and when do we come to life?
And if you could have it in little snippets throughout your day, little pleasures that come every day you more wanting to do more and to enjoy what's coming and to also know that there's this safe soft landing that joy provides when things don't go well, that something didn't go as you wanted or as you planned. But joy hasn't vanished regardless.
So if you, if you had met me like three years ago or four years ago, maybe a bit longer because I'm starting to understand, you know, having talking, spoken to you and, and doing a lot of sort of work around myself and that I'm starting to understand myself better. Yes. If you'd met me like five, six years ago when I was called, my nickname was Eeyore and at work. Yes. How would you.
And we were to work together, how would you extract or highlight or help me find the, the things in life that I found joyful? Because I remember going, for example, I went to, I did like a fast car activity track track and the guy was driving really fast and sort of looked at me and was like, you know, you can smile. Do you, do you not enjoy this? I was like, well, you know, I did this for a living kind of thing.
Emergency calls and so like I always used to say my, my threshold for enjoyment is quite high. My, it takes a lot to get my adrenaline sort of going and firing. Yeah. So how, if you'd have met me, how would you extract from me like what I found joyful and where joy lied and would you go through lists or like, look at my. I always start with what brings you joy? And you might say to me, nothing. Right? That's your answer. Like, no, not much. Okay. But is there one thing?
And you say no, like, I don't do joy. Like I just don't feel that. Yeah. If we're that level, the best thing to do is to connect to your senses. And that's also what I do do. If you do list some joys, I will also bring you to your senses to kind do this treasure hunt. Because that's the whole thing. Searching for something is not the same as going on a treasure hunt. You know, like you lost your keys.
If you can't find them, there's this dread of oh my God, what's going to happen if I can't find them. But if you're on a treasure hunt, you're more excited about what you're going to find. But the both situations you're searching, but the energy is very different, isn't it? So it is really the concept of going on a treasure hunt to discover your joys. And I will start with your senses. So what do you like to look at? Would you like to taste? Would you like to touch? Would you like.
So we just go through the senses. And you might say to me, oh, I love a fried breakfast, or I love Katy Perry, or it doesn't matter, but it's going. Going through your senses and asking your body, what does it like? What does it connect to? What is it? Find some kind of yay in it. And then we just distill it further. So, you know, if you really like Katy Perry, there must be other songs that you like that are not Katy Perry. Now we start expanding the.
The playlist, let's say, because you love music. But some people, it doesn't really matter what's on the radio. Like, they don't connect to that at all. They don't even understand why you find joy in dancing. Those people like something else. Like, they love quiet, they love nature. But what is it? Because for me, it's the ocean, but for you it's. It's the birds. You see what I mean? So nature in itself is massive. Let's get specific. What exactly is it?
And then we just hone in to the things that you do already say, I like this. We label it as joy. And then we expand it. Because for you, the moment you realize you like birds, you just like them, that they're not big, they're just something that I like. But the moment you say, oh, this is joy, you now look at them with more enthusiasm. But then you buy the little house where they're gonna visit, because if you can glue the. The see through to the window, you don't go to them anymore.
They'll come and visit you. And now you see them more often. And then that will lead you to want to discover and do the treasure hunt for more joys. Because you're thinking, God, it was a good day today because it was not blue and it wasn't sunny, but I had like five birds come to see me. And then you start getting back to that childlike enjoyment of things. Do. Do you then encourage people to sort of journal or write down what they've. What they. Yeah, we need to have a list.
It's good when you don't have many. It's still good when you have many to actually list your joys and divide them into different things in different areas. If you are, for example, away with work for a week, you might not get your birds, you see, but what could you take with you that would ignite that joy? Or you might be in a situation where you're quite sad, the joys for enthusiasm and Katy Perry might not be so alive if you're sad.
You see, you need to have other kinds of joys for that moment. So ultimately, the goal is that you have a joy that matches every mood, every emotion will have a joy, and it's knowing what those joys are. And then regardless of your circumstances of life or health or whatever is happening in your life, you always know the joy is possible. But just go back to. Every emotion has a joy. What does. Can you break that down? For example, you will. You will connect to a joy when you're sad.
That's very different than when you're frustrated or when you're desolated or when you're angry or when you're. You've been betrayed or lied to or, you know. So in different moments, you have different equal measures of emotion that are required in that moment. So if I'm absolutely distraught, it is much nicer to be distraught with the loveliest blanket and my favorite drink, because there's comfort in there. It's soothing in there. It is much nicer to have the. Your favorite song.
And that could be the let's Dance song because you want to feel that rhythm even if you don't want to move. Or that could be that weepy, weepy song because you just want to cry. And that song kind of makes you feel heard and understood, and it really reflects how you feel in. But it's having that safe, soft landing in. In. In times that are difficult. But if you already know what joys are good for you in that moment, you. You go and you reach for them.
But if you don't have a joy for that moment, you just sit there. You don't go for joy when it's bad, Bill. You kind of sit or cry or lie down or collapse or, you know, whatever the size of the situation is. But it's knowing that for whatever emotion you have, there will be joys that will either ease it or soothe it or ignite you to move to a different emotion. I've written down sort of practicing joy because. Yeah. Example of.
Of that, I suppose today was this first time I'm back in the office since Crufts and that. So my bird feeders were. Were empty, so I was kind of practicing. Yeah. Away. By filling them all up and then encouraging them to. To come back. Yes. Yes. It's lining up the things that make you happy, like just preempting them. Your favorite drink tastes better in your favorite cup. And it's just a drink and it's just a cup.
But you, if you take notes when you're doing work or when you're doing whatever, and you like to take notes, you like to write something, it's much nicer in delicious paper and a fabulous pen. So it's those small things. Some people have a very specific, you know, very elevated sense of, of their scent, like what they smell really matters to them. Surround yourself with that.
Not everybody's got the beautiful garden where the flowers are going to bloom and you walk past and you have all those scents. But you can have a diffuser at home that has eucalyptus, rose. It doesn't really matter what it is, but does it. Do you love it when you walk past the room and it smells that way? Does it make you smile? So it's using your senses as much as you can to discover what things give you that smile.
And some people have a great sense of humor and they have that really ridiculous, fabulous card that cracks them up every time, but it's in some draw or in a box somewhere. Put them up on your board, look at the funny thing that you sent or was sent to you that cracks you up every time you look at it. Have it crack yourself up often. And it's having those rituals because that's, that's the thing with rituals. And we're talking micro ones talking, you know, Christmas or a birthday or.
But even the tiny, tiny ones, what they are rituals and rituals is, is, is the difference between ordinary and extraordinary. That's what rituals do. They make the ordinary extraordinary. And it's having them enough that you realize how blessed you are, how so much is already around you and celebrate it and live it and enjoy it and you will inspire other people to do it because people will go, oh, he's got that extra smile today.
And even if Tom this morning said, oh, Lord above, is that the soundtrack again? He goes to school going, my dad was happy, my dad was loving his song and my dad was dancing. And that has a ripple effect on the people around us. I was just thinking when you said about putting up those, those cards or that photo or something, it takes me back to. My grandparents were like a grand. It's like cameras were, were fantastic.
And they used to take billions of photos, but the photos would be dotted about in, in the house, on, in pictures and frames. But yes, with digital photos, with our mobile phones, we take, we do take a lot of photos and videos, don't we? But we don't see them, we don't. See them Because I don't think people put them up as used to. Yeah. And I. And I do sometimes if we.
If we're, like, fed up with watching telly on, we've got an Apple tv and you can go into your photos and it will show you, like, on this day, like a few years ago. Yeah, yeah. And it just. Is that despair now. It's watching the. Watching the photos go around and you and Tom and Josh are like, is that me or is that Tom? Yes, yes. Because they were little. Yeah, yeah, but. And that's joyful. But I think maybe modern life, if we allow it, it kind of takes some of that joy away.
Although we've got lots of photos available, we don't necessarily go out and actually display them, like you were saying. Like it does, because we're more. We're more and more the doers. Right. You need to do it, like, get it done. Do, do, do. We have so much to do. And it takes away the being, like the feeling of it, you know, like, do just feel something. Just stop. And I don't want Joy to be another task and another chore. And he doesn't take an hour and doesn't take a day.
And a lot of it you are already doing. You're just not fully in it. You know, I always give the shower example because we all shower. Well, people just shower. You walk in, you do the thing. That's my shower. But what if the shower was a celebration already? Then you'd have a celebration every day. You get in, you know you're going for joy because you really enjoy feeling the water on your body. And then you go, okay, well, what shower gel do I like? Do I want the exfoliant? Do I want the oily?
Do I want creamy? What smell do I like? What texture do I like? And. And then you keep. Keep doing the. The add on all the layers. Do I want the 80s rock? Do I want Katie with me in the shower singing for me? Do I want the podcast that I never get round to do? I just want silence. I want to just listen to the water and what's the fluffiest towel I could have?
And you just had a shower like you did every other day, but you just had this kind of little celebration that was fun and it was good and it felt good and it felt nice. And I think that we need to learn to feel good independently of others. Phil, I'm always waiting for you to make me feel good. Do you find that it's kind of like some people just turn around and Say, God, you're just so joy, you know, you're always so happy. It really wears me out. Well, I think. I think.
I think everybody's gonna have that. Yeah. Because for some people, I'm too loud and I'm too joyful and I have too much energy. But then the opposite of me for. For somebody else is going to be, you're too dull and you're too boring, and you're too nothing. Like, why? Why? You know, I don't think that you can appeal to the masses. Katie is singing for you. You're loving it. Tom isn't loving her. He isn't loving her. But I don't think that that diminishes the talent or the wow of Katy Perry.
Okay. She will have people that love her. And joy doesn't have to be my sense of joy. It could be your sense of joy. I don't find the joy that you find in Burns, but when you tell me about your joy in birds, I recognize it. Like, I know what that joy feels like. I just don't find it in birds. I find it somewhere else. And it's like kids, right?
When they're little and they're playing, they will play with the most random thing, or one loves the musical instrument, and the other one will pick it up and drop it because it loves the building. It doesn't make one thing better than the other. Or, oh, the construction guy, he has a great time. The musician, he enjoy. You know, the music isn't as much fun. They're both having fun. They just find it in different places. I think that people get curious about why I'm so joyful.
And that's not necessarily just because I am, but because I don't necessarily have a life where everything is lined up for me right now or has been for a long time. So I think that's when people get curious. Like, so it's difficult. And you smile a lot. Like, why? And it's because I count my blessings a lot. Like, I realize that there's a lot that I don't have, but there's so much that I already have. And I don't want to have days that are heavy and difficult.
I want them to be as light as they can be. So I want to connect to things that make me feel alive and that show me that today could be a good day, might not be the day that I was dreaming of. It might not be in the circumstances that I'd like to have, but it doesn't take away how beautiful the blue sky is. But I have that choice. I can look at the floor and go, God damn it, it's dirty and it's old and I don't have the money to put the new floor in.
Or I can look up and go, hello, blue, you've come today. And. And be happy with that, you know, like celebrate that, enjoy that. And it's just that moment. Even when you're traveling or you step out to do the bins, can you just smell the air or can you just look at the sky? And we don't do that so much. And I think that the people that embrace joy start to just connect to minute things and feel more alive in it. Yeah, I think it's highlighting it to yourself.
So if I went out and walked out to the van, we've got a not lavender bush, but I can't remember what it is now, but it's a. It's a herb which overgrows. But I'll just brush through that because I really like the smell of it. There we go. But that. That's a moment. Right, but bill that. Brush through it. But you get the scent and you go, oh, hi. I love you. I love. I don't. I don't have to. Yeah, I don't have to brush it, but I choose to.
Yeah. Make the smell come up and then take a deep and get in the van and off. And it isn't balloons clapping up and down. Maybe nobody else knows. I do. Now, when you get the. When you get to the van and you're driving, you're driving from a different energy. It re. Energizes you. Having joy. Yeah. Just uploads the energy. Because I know that the majority of your audience, we're talking about people that have dreams and taking steps towards them, and there's a lot to be done.
And we always looking at the peak of the mountain and how long it's going to get for me to get to that mountain. But that journey is made of many steps. And what if in each little step you can have a little tap dance or a little beautiful smell or a blue sky or it's just reigniting because we very focused on all the things we got to do and then we don't fill ourselves back up, you know, to have that feel good of. I've done something that was really good and joy kicks off celebration.
And it doesn't have to be big. And if use it, you could be quiet, but it's like, wow, I've done that. I felt good. That thing was really good. And you just Start tracking what's good a lot more than what isn't. Yeah, I certainly. Wrong. Definitely from. From speaking to you over the last year, I certainly start sort of thinking about it. It's rosemary that. But, yes, I love it. Yeah, it's lovely to smell. It's lovely to cook. It's just a lovely smell. Yeah, I love it, too.
So I think one of the main messages from your last. Or one of the messages from your last podcast that we did was about going out and finding that joy. A bit like what I was just talking. Yes. You don't have to wait for joy to come to you. You've got to. You've got to be quiet. You've got to be a little bit proactive these days. And, yes, go out and find and be purposeful. Like filling up the bird feeder, washing past the rosemary when you go to your car.
Yes. So I suppose the exercises that people need to sort of take away is grounding themselves and understanding what brings them joy. And maybe, I don't know, writing a list down or having a mate. Yeah. And then label it, call it joy. That thing that you like, this current joy, this is my joy. And then see how you can expand it. So, for example, do you. Do you happy with that bird that comes whenever they remember, or do you set up a little home for them to come?
And if that home is going well, why can't I have two homes? Like, I can have more birds? You know what I mean? You just decide how much or how often you want things and you make sure that they happen. Just like you make sure that there's food and you make sure that you shower, and you make sure that there's, like, there's things that must happen. Joy must happen.
You just become this person that is on a treasure hunt and goes, okay, I have these joys, but there'll be another one that I haven't found yet. And you just get curious. Being curious is very empowering because you're like, oh, what's the next thing that I'm gonna love? And sometimes it's really blatant. It's really passive. Like, you only find it when it's there.
Like when you set up the camera, I was looking at your room and I was thinking, I just love the blue, because I love blue, but I love the contrast of white and blue. And just looking at your wall, I go, I love it. There's a joy right there. You know what I mean? Like, it's just. Just a beauty thing that I appreciate. It's. It's finding things that are beautiful or make you smile or just ignite your senses.
But I do want people to also remember that my specific concept of joy is exclusively about you and for you, because I don't want anybody to be dependent on other people to feel it. So that's why the examples that I give are quite individual, because once you have your joys, you're not relying on anyone else for them to happen. And then you can have many joys that you share with people.
You know, you can go to the party together, you can do loads of things together, but the joy of dancing is your joy. Do you see what I mean? It's about not being dependent on other people to feel good. Because I think a lot of us are waiting for somebody else to bring it and for. For. For somebody else to deliver that joy or. Or an event, be invited to something, whatever it may be. Whereas you're just a home or just in your garden or just traveling, and you could be feeling joy yourself.
So reach for it. Go find your next joy. And no one can take that away from you, then, can they either? Exactly. Exactly. And then that becomes a double thing. I want to feel extra good. Here I go. Oh, I don't feel good. I can choose to feel better because there's a joy for, you know, either expanding the one that you feel or to ignite it. Like, I'm feeling crap. I'm sad, I'm disappointed, I'm whatever. There's a joy out there that's gonna align me with. I can also feel good.
A lot of us are waiting for life to be perfect, and then we're gonna feel great, Bill. And just don't. Just don't. Because when you get that thing, which is, say, the new car, the stair is going to break. You know what I mean? When you get the promotion, something else is going to go.
We're always on this endless route of fixing and guiding and directing and planning, and along the way, can we just have more smiles, more energy, and just more delight in the world that we're living and the life that we do have. Love. It's being present, isn't it? And being grounded and. And that. That constant seek for seek of, like, it'll be perfect takes you back to working with the money coach Fanny Snave. And she always.
She always says, you know, she's been happy poor, she's been sad poor, she's been happy rich, she's been sad rich. So it doesn't always come along. Isn't that powerful, Bill? Yeah. That it's not dependent on however many pounds you have in your pocket, how happy you can be. And we have so many examples. The, the, the very poor countries have people, and especially children, but people generally dancing, laughing.
And it's not because they have money or immense meals or supercars or whatever we, we are thinking that we should be having. And then you have people that have so much money. There isn't a smile there. There's security, there's safety, but there isn't an aliveness there. And what she narrates the four possible scenarios of money and joy or no money and sad, like how they can all interact in different ways.
I want you to remember that it isn't about how much money or how much security or how much health or any of that. When you choose to have a smile, like you choose that smile. And I'm not saying we're always smiling. I have days where I'm not smiling or afternoons I'm just pissed off. And even my daughter tries to like, cheer me up and I'm like, I don't want to smile upset, I want to be upset. And that's okay because I feel that I need it out like this. Pretend that it's great. Doesn't help me.
I want to be upset about something. I just want to let it out, like feel the upset. But I don't want to live there. I really don't want to live there. You know, going back to that mansion and having many rooms, I don't have to be in that room all the time. I have a choice to go to a different room. And it's just exercising that I own my own smile. Like nobody else decides or owns my smile. It's mine and I'll have it whenever. And choosing it, preferably. Yeah, choosing it.
So I suppose some exercises to come out of this is one, finding out what brings you joy and hydrating yourself and then being purposeful and going out to seek it. Yes. Treasure. Hunt it on a daily basis kind of thing. Yes. Be purposeful about it. And, and it's a good tool to use your senses to do that. Some people like to touch it, taste it, smell it, hear it. You know, there's, there's different senses that are more you or more me. Find out what those are to, to. To yourself.
What things do I already like? And then start, start telling them that they're joys and have many of them every day. Every people like schedule big ones. You know, like you were saying about going to the van, that's a little joy that you can have daily. But what about scheduling a big joy? Whether that's a picnic that you're gonna have in three weekends or the stars are gonna align and you're gonna get the mic, the, The. The microscope.
Not the microscope, thermos, the telescope to see it properly. And that's in three months. Schedule big joys or little ones, but schedule them because there's an anticipation. There's the joy of I'm going to have joy as well. Like, you get excited about this thing that's coming and then you do the thing that you've been waiting for. So scheduling some joys is also very pleasurable things to look forward to. You know, like things that, you know are coming up. They, they.
They get that aliveness going as well. Or it's been as normal. It's been. Been great talking to you. If, if that is rebel. If people can just forget the fact that I disclosed that I. I like a bit of dancing. And I love that you like dancing and I love that you like Katy Perry. Well, particular mix of the songs. Yeah, but, yeah, you know, it's. And what will happen now is hopefully people will listen to this and they'll. They might just let it sink in and then just start being aware of.
Of surroundings and what's going on and just think about what we've discussed and, and just bring it into your life a little bit. And I've certainly done that since our last podcast. I do feel lighter, I do feel better. And things that you like to eat, anything that makes you. That gives you joy. Well, everything. But that's another story. No, but, you know, like, some people love cheese. Some people love. Oh, yeah, some people love, you know, whatever they do. Like, there's something they love.
Yeah, yeah. Cheese. Okay. Yeah, because that's. That you see just that instead of having the cheese that you always have in the fridge that you eat in your sandwiches or however you eat them every week, go. I'm gonna try a different one. I'm gonna find a baby one in the cheese counter that I don't know, and I'm gonna try that one. Yeah. And that's small, but when you have your meal, because you're gonna do it at lunch or dinner or both, whatever, it's.
There's a surprise element and there's something that you're gonna taste to add to something that you already know that you like, but you're gonna like some more than others. So it's that treasure hunt for more of it. Yeah. So you live here with homework oh, go. More cheese. I wish I knew cheese in my life. Bit more healthier now, but yeah, more cheese in my life. More cheese. Different cheeses. Arrive at the world of cheese and explore it more. Excellent. Well, thank you very much.
Thank you, girl. Where can people connect to you? I think you're quite. You hang out in LinkedIn a lot? Yeah, I got a little bit of LinkedIn. I'm a little bit more on Instagram, but I'm in both. Raquel Braganza, life coach. You'll find me in both places. Your Pierre and do you do like videos regularly? Videos and posts and I do post a lot. And then every now and then I do some little videos, little take on something. I have obviously a lot of joy there.
I'll be adding some more of this podcast there of our joys here. But yeah, go find me. There's some good stuff there. It's definitely empowering and it's definitely about feeling good or having a new perspective on something. So it's, it's a healthy dose of a smile there for sure. Excellent. Thank you very much. Take care. I hope you have enjoyed this podcast. Please make sure you give us a like or a review to help people find it. The podcast is sponsored by Low Pay.
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