Taking Care Of Your Family, Insurance and the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO in New York. #444 Part 1.

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Welcome to another episode of Docs Outside the Box . It's your boy , Dr Nii . I'm joined by Kiara . What's good , Welcome . How you doing .

You're in that late thirties , forties , maybe even fifties , you taking care of your parents , but we got a big trip coming up . We're going back to Ghana taking the parents there for an extended trip , maybe three months or so and see how it goes .

But it's a lot of pressure , right when you're packing not just for yourself but you're also packing for your parents and they can't really help you that much . And it's crazy , you know . It's just like you're trying to pack medication . You're trying to pack all these different things that you anticipate . Ghana has a lot of things that we have here , you know .

But you know , sometimes , from an electrical standpoint or from a tech standpoint , they have it , but it's just in a different voltage . From an electrical standpoint or from a tech standpoint , they have it , but it's just in a different voltage . So those are things that I'm trying to keep track of .

We need some durable medical equipment , so that's going to be a pain in the butt to get packed , but we're almost there , and so that's going to be a trip that I think will be really fulfilling for me , but also really fulfilling for my parents , because as they get older , you know , I think that they've always , you know , mentioned to me that they wanted to

go back home . I think it came to a point where they just didn't know how to do that anymore , right , and they didn't know exactly how to verbalize it , more so than just saying , hey , I want to go home . So for me , the fulfilling part is having them kind of help them reach the finish line of , you know , them coming to United States , particularly my dad .

He came to the United States on a boat .

And you know , you just like you don't like your parents or your parents they got everything on lock , right . And then you start to realize , as you get older , I started to realize , as I got older , I'm like , oh , they really don't have this on lock .

As you get older , I started to realize , as I got older , I'm like , oh , they really don't have this on lock . And you know , maybe about 15 years ago I think , the first time I really realized that I needed to take care of things was in fellowship . When I finished fellowship and I found out that my dad had prostate cancer .

He was very nonchalant about it , but he also seemed like he was in the dark about things . And that was the first time that I had to change the trajectory of what I was doing on the basis of my parents . I've never had to do that before . Right , it was always just like I got to go to school . Just make it happen and that's it .

You get further and further away from your parents . That's just how life is . My dad did it when he was in his mid twenties . He left Ghana , came to the United States a whole new world and started that's just what I'm going to do .

But when my dad got sick , I was like , oh man , I got to , I left fellowship early actually , and and came home and started doing locums and decided I was going to stay home . And when I stayed home I started looking at all the bills and I was looking at all these bills that were not paid or these bills that were in arrears . You know my dad .

He's very hardheaded , he's very stubborn , but he's a very proud man . He works very hard . So I was asking my dad about all these different things and trying to get an answer out of him sometimes can be really difficult . But basically what it boiled down to is that he was scared through this whole process .

So I took him to his doctor , the urologist , and we figured out what the plan was going to be . We got a second opinion and we figured it out and I would change my locum schedule to make sure that every time he got his radiation treatments I was there for it .

And then I was able to make a plan with my sisters so that they can help them and it worked . And that's really the basis of me kind of doing locums right out of fellowship , falling in love with , wow , like I can make my work wrap around my lifestyle . That's something I wasn't used to at all .

I think you know like even small things , like I had a Jetta , a 1999 Jetta , so this is around 2012 now . I had a 99 Jetta . So I was like you know , when I started doing locums , I go to different States and when I come home , like I really needed my car , but at the point where I gave my parents the car , it was like 135,000 miles on it .

But at the point where I gave my parents the car , it was like 135,000 miles on it . You know , I had been through Kansas City , jersey , atlanta , miami . I was like just keep my car Right . And I just started noticing like just more and more , like taking over with their lives , taking them to their doctor's appointments and everything .

And then , even when I got married , same thing , like it was just helping them more and more . And now it's like you start to realize like 10 years ago you guys should have tried to move back to Ghana to kind of finish the circle right , to kind of retire and stuff .

But they just economically couldn't do it or financially or you know , just emotionally couldn't do it . So now we are finishing that and I don't know how long they'll stay . They'll probably stay for several months and then come back . But we're here and we leave tomorrow .

So if anybody's listening , if you know what I'm talking about , let us know if you are part of the sandwich generation or if you have similar dreams or hopes to like kind of help your parents out and you're not sure exactly what to do . But low key . The other thing too is we got a caseworker from my parents' insurance and they helped us .

There's this program called PAD , like the prescription . Basically it's a prescription help for old people , right , old , you know folks , and you know my dad has a history of clots and he takes Eliquis , which is a blood thinner , and that shit is expensive as hell . Like a 30-day supply .

Like those are the things that I've been helping my parents with and my sisters .

Like , when you think about like there's this huge donut hole right , like where , um , if you can kind of think of , uh , prescription coverage almost like a donut , right , there's a in between , right like a , you know there's a hole in the middle and then , before you get to the hole , there's , like you know , the donut .

Well , that part of the donut you can imagine is coverage right , and then , once they reach a certain point , past that , once they keep , you know , using medications , there's a hole there that doesn't cover anything anymore , and that was that came out . Uh , medicare Part D came out when I was in medical school , so this is during Bush's time .

This is Medicare Part D , and that was the big issue is it provides a good amount of coverage , but there's a portion where , if you go past a certain amount of coverage , like , you're on your own .

Insurance has got to be the biggest scam ever insurance across the board , home insurance , listen , car insurance a man a man woke up in the morning from his hotel room , left his hotel room and was going to a meeting and got shot in cold blood on video and nobody gave a damn about him .

And it mainly is because he worked for an insurance company , right , he was the CEO of an insurance company . That is how bad the public sentiment is on insurance companies , right . And you know , like I said , like we value life I'm a doctor , You've , you know you're , you're , you're a basic human being . So you , you value life .

But a lot of people are pissed off at insurance companies . That ire , that upsetness when it's pointed to that CEO , it's like whatever , you know people rather talk about how good looking .

Where in new york in general it's very much , uh , you didn't see nothing , you can't say nothing , you didn't hear word , word , word , but we saw this , though , we saw it we saw it , we do , we just not gonna say nothing ?

that's and that's crazy , because that , first of all , it's just New York culture in general , yes , but even across the board , even if it had happened in another state , I feel like we've become so desensitized to human beings in general .

Still , you know , keeping that camera on that person while the person is going through a seizure and stuff . Or you know , the whole thing with the woman on the train , the New York train getting put on fire , like this is crazy , you know , but I can't . But can you officially say that ?

Like , let's say , this was 20 years ago or 15 or 30 years ago , people would actually do something . I just think that's our nature , right ? We just want to watch and see what's going on . That's the whole essence of rubbernecking , right ? People just want to see what's going on .

Yeah , I mean , I think the insurance situation is bad and I think that a lot of people , like , when you think about insurance companies and what they do , in essence they take a whole bunch of money from you . Right , you could be a state , it could be you as an individual , or you as an employer or what have you , and they give you .

Whatever they give you back is less in value than what you gave them right ? So if you give them $100 , they give you , in essence , $20 worth of coverage . That's how they make their profits .

It really spoke to me as I prepare for a career transition and influence how I reflect on my meaning , the past and purpose , the future . Keep up the great work . Take good care . Sincerely , dr O . So just want to give a shout out to Dr O . She knows who she is . I hope you start your podcast .

I wish you all the luck with that , or restart your podcast . I wish you all the luck with that and that episode with Dr Jordan Grumet . That was a really good episode . I think he you know how like I still find it really like .

I was listening to a podcast yesterday the Joe Budden podcast , which is one of my favorite podcasts and they were debating you know who is like what's a rapper's rapper and what I mean by that is who's a rapper that when they rap and when they put out lyrics , that is who's a rapper that when they rap and when they put out lyrics like other rappers aspire

to get to and they can quote their lyrics , just like that , right . And I kind of look at it like in terms of podcasting , like is there a podcast that I listen to that I'm like man , I just want to be just like that person , right , no-transcript , really , you know , like that show .

Like I've seen doctors will talk to patients' families and be like , yeah , this patient has , you know , cephalohematoma of this and broken this , this , this , and the patients are just looking at them like , or the families are like I don't know what that means .

And I think part of communication is understanding who you're talking to and it's okay to kind of just like make things a little bit more lay so that people understand . And it's the same thing with podcasting Like how can you express and reach the people who are listening right now and help them understand things ?

Like , yeah , I'm with you , I understand what you're talking about and go from there . So boom .

okay , I love you yes , but you know how he used to break everything down , like , oh , this is , you know , happy and happy is , and just kind of just break it down to lamest terms , like like you're explaining it to children . That's how we see it and it's like I need of just break it down to lamest terms , like you're explaining it to children .

That's how we see it and it's like I need you to break it down . When I don't understand something , I need you to break it down Barney style . Explain it to me like you're trying to explain it to a child .

You know , it's just . That's just the way how it is . Like you go to your , your , your mechanic . If you go to your mechanic and they tell you something like , I'd say , the majority of people , 99% of people , do not understand what the hell the mechanic is talking about .

But you know , if they seem like a nice guy or girl , you know they'll be like all right , well , yeah , just go ahead and fix my CV joint . That's probably doesn't need to be fixed , you know , right , am ?

I think it's your gallbladder and it could be your gallbladder , could not be your gallbladder , but you trust that person to say , yeah , this is the reason why , like you don't have the ability to review the test , you know , and even if you looked at the test , how do you know to interpret that this is the reason why you're having pain ?

You just have to trust that that person , who's interpreting everything and has gone through school , understands you know everything that makes you have pain in that area .

mastery . So me and Renee would go back and forth about this in med school , like she like , when we would study together , like we like I study well , by myself , renee , I don't know how she does it , but I would study on my own . And then right before a test , right , let's say a test will come at the end of six weeks .

So we would do what's called blocks , right ? So you would study neurology or the brain or the neuro system for six weeks and in between that time you would have some quizzes and some tests . But at the end of six weeks was the big block examination .

So me and Renee , like the night before , we would go to another school there's a library there that was open 24 seven and we would just study with each other and ask each other questions . And you know she would . You know she was just finishing being a teacher .

So she would say , like , teach it to me Like you know I'm one of your students , or explain this to me Like I'm one of your students . I had to get really frustrated about that , but what she was trying to help me to understand is that well , I understand that you can memorize it and I understand that you understand it .

But if you can verbalize it , speak it and take it from what you see on the textbook to how I can understand it or help me to understand it , then you definitely got this and that was the key for me .

You know and um , you know , as I said in a previous episode , med school wasn't that I didn't have that many difficulties with med school in terms of the academics , you know , the emotional , the financial things . Those were really crazy , but from an academic standpoint , like I don't know why , but it just it worked and I'd do it again if I could .

Actually it was fun . I say it all the time .