¶ Strategies for Dealing with Medical Bullies
Especially if you're being bullied for something that you know most likely this may follow me in my career . You do need to pause because you have to strategize . This is just as essential a skill set as learning how to suture . You know whether it's you having a certain name , a certain build , a certain gender , a certain sexual identity .
You have to build that skill set of how do I deal with these bullies . That could be when you take that time to go home and talk to your village , talk to your parents , talk to your friends , talk to your family , gather the opinions on how to address it , coalesce them together and then come up with a plan .
So I have a list here of who are the perpetrators , right , and the perpetrators could be anybody from your co-resident , which is not that likely , but that could happen to your residents who are more than likely higher than you , Right ?
So if your first year , your second year can push you around , they can do things with your schedule to make it more difficult for you . Or if your chief does a schedule you know .
I have .
I have nurses can sometimes bully , obviously attendings . I even have patients .
They can bully you .
Let's focus on the interrelationships between residents and how that plays right , because it's almost like is someone going to take your cornbread , are you going to stand up and if everybody sees that they take your cornbread ?
So I like the part about the name part right , which is like you established you , you established what , how important your name was , and then you just kind of joked on them and said , hey , like you have like the multiple syllables and all these different things , like I got you also . But like how do you like is there a way to come in ?
Like yo , like I'm not playing around , like how do you separate the emotion from the ? You know , dr Bilbroy ain't nobody to mess with . Like just keep it moving , do you ?
see what I'm saying . How do you do that ? Yeah , you know what I think that the greatest hey , I'm not messing around is just to be an on-point intern or an on-point resident . You come in , you're early , you're the last to leave , you're inquisitive , you're prepared , inquisitive , you're prepared .
Honestly , I think there isn't a residency in this nation that if you have those basic things and you're on top of your game and you're studying , you're asking the right questions , you're following up with your articles , they're going to be like okay , right Now , of course you're going to have people that will still , you know , do those set things , and then you
have to go back to your strategizing . But I really think that 95% of the time , if you are that prepared resident or medical student it is going to be very hard to find you at fault .
That's the strongest card that you have , the second strongest and this is so subjective and I really I hate when I say this but like playing the game like they got to like you right .
So I- no , but that game is dangerous though .
It's dangerous . It's dangerous and you have to play it correctly , like I wish that we Because you don't want to be a cap .
You don't want to be a cap because you could become just like them .
Right , right .
That's my personal story .
Oof , yeah , yeah , yeah . You don't want to , you don't want to become like them . And then you go home and you don't feel like you're you anymore , right .
Yeah .
But I think that it's worth it . Also , like I said , I trained in Texas . I was the second black female and when they were like hey , you want to go out with beer , so I don't drink beer , I'm going to take a Chardonnay , and so I'm going to sit here and listen to y'all tell me about what it
¶ Preventing and Responding to Resident Bullying
was like to grow up on a farm and hunt deer and quail and honestly opening myself up with boring . but opening myself up to someone else's experience actually made it easier for them to understand mine and to ask me to finally get comfortable to be like okay , so tell me about Atlanta .
Y'all have shootouts like that and I'm like , no , but the medical students be taking care of the gunshot wounds in the ER , like that's our thing . And so it broke barriers by putting myself and you really are like a martyr I need to find a better word than that .
But you know , when you're in that position where you're being bullied or whatever , you're putting yourself in the point where you do have to interject yourself and say , all right , well , tell me about you , which I think is just emotional intelligence . They're doing it because they're uncomfortable and they're threatened . That's why people bully .
They don't bully because they're confident in themselves . They're bullied because they don't understand what you are and they don't have the emotional intelligence to just ask can you tell me about your hair ? Can you tell me about your background ? So they poke fun of you , right ? Or maybe there's just some serious . They just don't like your background .
What about ? Okay , cause I in my I can feel like my . I can hear the audience like , what if I'm two years into being bullied ? I ain't like I got what you saying about how to step in and make sure that nobody steals your cornbread , how to step in and make sure that nobody messes with you from the get go . I missed that . I missed that episode .
Dr Bill Brew , I'm two years in . They bothering me Three years . How ? do I get out , how do I turn a page ? And I'm not leaving my residency , right ? I got a spouse here , they got a job and they told me they're going to kill me if I'm going to another .
You know , if I change to another residency , how do I turn the page and make sure I got like two more years to go ? I can't take this . How do I change the ? How do I change the ? How do I make a 180 degree change ? Boom .
Fix that one , dr Bill . So here's the thing like and I'm a realist , you can't If you're three years in because you missed lessons one through five and now you're being bullied . I think there's two ways You're being bullied . But you're a strong resident , there's no risk of you being held back , of you being fired or anything like that . Okay , let's terrible .
You know it's mentally , it's emotionally , it's all of that . And you still have another two years left . You know , if this is like a five-year program , this again , I always go back to a village because I think it's important you have to make it through . At this point we're almost over the hill .
So now this is a- , so you just accept it .
I'm not saying to accept it . You have to accept that it is a part of your process and that process doesn't last forever , right ? So you know , I think it's like giving birth when you're in like that . You know you're like seven hours into labor and you're like dang , I got another like 10 hours to go .
There's nothing you can do to speed it up , embrace the suck . You embrace the suck and say I'm here , I'm going to focus on my education , I'm going to focus on maybe using these experiences for the person that's coming behind me .
I'm going to focus on how , at the next stage of where I'm going fellowship or attending or whatever that this is not going to happen to me again and at the same time , I'm going to seek the support that I need , whether that is the mental health therapy , your family , your friends . I'm going to enjoy those moments outside of my training .
I'm going to make the best of them . So I had to listen to gospel music every day walking into that hospital , like every day .
That's it Before I go into this hospital .
Like people think it's a game . Like I the the mental games I had to play at , you know , like year two
¶ When You're Already Being Bullied
, when you're like , ah , there's still three more years of this . Like three and a half , it plays games with you .
So does escalating this help at all ? I'm going to go to my PD about this . I'm going to go to my chair about this .
Yes , I think you should always let the individuals who have the power and authority to make a change know what's happening at a not like a weekly basis . But they need to be notified enough , because that's your receipt . You can't keep it to yourself , Even if it's your program , under your chairman doing it .
You need to have a meeting and say I'm just taking notes , or send an email Per the conversation we have . I just want to recap .
Oh Lord , here we go Per the conversation . That's when they know , this is when you get your Claire Hu huxtable on per the conversation you gotta record it okay , wait . So so quick question . I forgot to to . I forgot to close the loop on the , the question I asked about , or the , the point you were making about you being an awkward surgeon in residency .
Yes , right , so when you kept it to the objectives , right , and you're attending with stuttering afterwards and so forth when you go back and look at , is that was that ? What do you look at that as ? Is that like bullying or is that mistreat ? Is that criticism ? Talk to me like what . Knowing how to operate , he operated in a very specific way .
I do think it would have became a form of bullying and a form of harassment , because it was the beginning of the stages where you're starting to operate independently and that it would have definitely been used against me .
It would have turned into an academic criticism , right , because I can now look back and say wow , actually it is bullying because you're in a senior position . I now look back and say wow , that's , that is actually it is bullying because you're in a senior position . I now look at myself . I would never say to somebody man , you operate awkwardly .
What I would do is hey , afterwards let's spend a little brew , stop playing you said what .
Dr Bilbrow , stop playing . You know you've seen some awkward ass surgeons residents . Why are you suturing like that ? For why are you using a vertical mattress ? Why are you using this If it's getting ?
done , though . If it's getting done like was the outcome the same , but if it's something dangerous you know , I've had residents I'm like that's a little dangerous . Hey , why don't you ? Let's go over how to hold this drill . You know , let's practice that we're not firing like this , like we need to . That's how I would address it versus .
That's the superficial femoral . Be careful y'all , there's an artery .
behind that bone there are arteries and nerves that you can cut . You know that's how I would address it , so it was bullying . That's not . That's not how you talk to someone . You're trying to how to educate
¶ Addressing Bullying Through Official Channels
the next generation of servants .
Yeah , he was a bully , yeah , I got it . I got it Because , you know , renee , she experienced bullying and she talks about that , and she had it from two angles one from an attending and one from senior residents . And it just came to a point where this is her first year .
She was like yo , I'm out , and she , like , submitted her resignation and then , like at the last minute , you know , the chairperson was like yo , I need you here , I want you here , like we're going to handle this and so forth , and she decided to stay , like at the very last minute and so forth , and then everybody changed .
But it's , you know , it happens way more than you think .
Once again , with the stats , like I said , like one of the things that I'm interested in so that we can talk about is like those consequences that we were talking about earlier , which is the effects of residents or , excuse me , the effects of bullying on burnout , performance , depression , you know , like , is there anything that residents , or even med students who
are going through the interview process , is there anything that they can see that are like red flags so that when they're going on that dinner , when they go on ?
you know , I don't know , whatever you do nowadays , I forget how they even check out programs and they rank them .
Yo , this is a toxic environment . You got to be careful . I should be careful when I go in here . Yo , talk to me about that .
Right , I think that and I think they still do the pre-interview dinner . Pay attention to how the residents interact with each other and then how
¶ Red Flags in Residency Interview Process
they interact with the interviewees , because , if you're noticing , everyone is kind of on edge . Nobody is comfortable with each other . There's some dynamic that's off . At the end of the day , if you're doing surgery , or even if it's peds , it's three to seven years that you're spending probably more time with them than you do with your family .
If they're not interacting comfortably .
it's kind of like going to a family reunion and no one's talking Red flag . What mess do y'all have behind the scenes ? And I think then , just talking to residents individually , what's your experience like ? And if they're not saying the truth , which is there , should be good and bad If they're just putting raisins in a potato salad .
should be good and bad if they're just saying Putting raisins in a potato salad . Like who this ? Who's this ?
Like who would they come from ? You know it's not matching up . Things aren't matching up , and let me tell you programs . I didn't rank based on the pre-interview dinner . I was like I can't end up here .
Give me some examples . What'd you see ? You see , what'd you see ?
come on you don't have to name the people , but talk to us . Come on , let's get the juicy details . I was at one and you know again , it's orthopedics for those that don't know very male , dominated , very macho , especially back . You know when I did it and um , and it's not like that as much . Now .
Everyone's like how much can you lift , deadlift and all of that ? I wasn't even into that at the time . I was like listen , hair and nails , but I was clueless . I went into this field not even understanding what it was going to be like , but I went to a the bro mentality yeah . I had no clue . I had Dr Simpson , mason . Who's this fly ?
You know black female orthopedic surgeon who wears skirts and dresses and heels . I'm like , oh , we're all like that . And I was shocked , nope . When I showed up to , I'm like , oh , we're all like that . And I was shocked , um , when I showed up to residency , like , ooh , y'all are men's . Um , like manly man .
Listen , I can tell you stories for days of sometimes they forget that you're a woman and the things they say . Um , but I went to a pre-interview dinner at a place that will not be named and it was at a bar right , and so they got everybody what are ?
they called jagermeisters oh , jagermeister , yeah , yeah , yeah yeah , I don't even know , you see all my jagger bombs , yeah , like a jet and yeah , yeah , the j is silent . I don't don't ask me how I know , it's just the j is silent because that you I'm clueless on this , bro mentality right . Right right .
So there's 20 of us . They're lining up on the bar and they chugging it At a pre-interview dinner . Listen , ortho is no joke . There's some that happened at strip clubs . That's another story .
Stop lying , you lying , you potting Dr Bilbr it though .
That's great . Are you serious ? Listen the ones people who interviewed between 2000 and 2010, . There was a certain program that would take you to the strip club afterwards . I will not name the program and I did not get an interview there , but there was a program , I think it's what Would you go ? Would you have gone ? No , no , what .
Would you go ? Would you have gone ?
No , no , Listen , the reason I got my spot is because there was another girl that they liked that got drunk at the pre-interview dinner and I didn't make my program's pre-interview dinner . She missed the interview the next day because she was hungover and they told me when I matched like you took her spot .
Word . They ranked me above her . Big no-no , big no-no .
Exactly Talk about wanting to get bullied . She's been known for that , like I'm not going to call her out . So they had these Jaeger Meisters and they're chugging them back and I didn't know what it was , and like the chairperson , is there Programs ?
The program directors are there .
I don't recall but I know the residents and the chief was there and then they had a shot right next to it and I tasted the Jaeger and I was like at that point I didn't even drink beer and so I left mine to the side and I ordered a Chardonnay from the bar and the chief and some of the other residents came over and said who's Jaegermeister is this on
the bar ? I'm like I know he's not calling me out and I was like it's mine . It was like boo from the residents , she can't drink the Yago . And it became a whole thing that I could not chug a beer down in like 15 to 20 seconds .
That told me already I'm not ranking y'all If this is the environment that if somebody is different than you , that you jump on them to make fun of them . This is like a frat boy type situation
¶ Bullying Impact on Performance and Care
. Instead of being like oh cool , you ordered Chardonnay , what kind ? Tell me about what you know about Chardonnay . Like what's your favorite wine ? No , it was straight clowning on me aggressively and not in a way that I could participate . It was like well , let me just head back to the hotel .
Those are the , and it's kind of like , if you're going to treat someone like this now , before they sign on the dotted line , imagine what's going to happen when you really are . You know you there for five years and it's going to be hard to change programs . So yeah , I get what you're saying .
Yeah .
I get what you say . So you didn't even practice at all , trying to chug beers at all , doing residency and all that .
For what ? For what reason ? I don't even like . I think I'm a little light , go on .
You're an ortho . You got to keep it light sometimes , though , go on . Yeah , I'm a boy .
I'm a boy , I'm , you know my program would respect that . Once I was like I'll take a Chardonnay , they were like OK , order her Chardonnay , everyone else get Jagermeister . You know . So it was . It was respectful , it was . You're different , but OK , tell us about your difference . They weren't perfect , but it was a better situation than the other program .
Well , I want to say and I appreciate you sharing that , because that puts like a picture or video in our mind that you know you just don't anticipate , and I think you know med students and even residents don't anticipate .
So I want to say that you know there are stats that show that this is going to affect learning this is going to affect your performance in residency . you know your board examinations . There's a possibility it could . It could also affect patient care as well as increase the amount of medical errors .
Like there are statistics that show this yo , yes , get ganged up on by you know another surgeon . I've seen it with young attendings who come into maybe you know a practice or come into a hospital and you know now they're taking a pie out of , or a slice of the pie that maybe one surgeon was used to enjoying for themselves .
Right , like you are literally taking money out of their you know out of their retirement fund .
Can I pause just to say that slice of the pie . Oh Lord and God , I'm going to incriminate myself . This partner knows that I love him . Today , my favorite partner that I work with currently pulled me aside and said I didn't vote for you to be here because you've pretty much taken a slice of the pie and there's not enough pie to go around .
There it is . Y'all heard that right , y'all heard that right . So my attending prep me for that . He prepped me for that conversation . I didn't believe that .
I thought that there was enough for everybody to eat , but I didn't know that when you go to these smaller hospitals , once you leave residency , you know they are using whatever all the cases and all these different things , the relationships that they have with you know trauma , or the relationships that they have with family medicine and the hospitalists , all these
hip fractures and all those different things . Like that's how they're paying for their kids Private school , that's how they're paying for you know their boat . So when you come in as a young attending , like sometimes you will catch that ire and they will come after you and there's bullying there , right .
Like sometimes you will catch that IRA , they will come after you and there's bullying there , right , yeah , that could affect the confidence of how you operate If they find maybe one small little thing or maybe a couple of cases . You have some infections that everybody else has . But if they're going to , you know , completely focus on what you have .
Oh you , you got some drink , you know something coming from the knee and stuff like that and whatever . You know what I'm talking about , but exactly you know what I'm talking about Exactly . We got folks switching specialties , possibly because it is yeah . Leaving medicine , so this has a strong impact on people .