¶ Parenting and Camp Costs
This should be like boys to men . What does that mean ? It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday . Okay , the Tesla got to go back , y'all , it's great . But then you can just see , like , first of all , the build quality is just , it's not up to par .
Every time I was driving and I hit bumps , you always hear something kind of just you know whether it's the seats not bolted all the way in . That's scary . I think the biggest thing that I did not like is the transit time , because you got to charge for another 35 , 45 minutes and then when you get to that place I'm still at the end of my battery .
That's the stuff that drove me nuts . But it's going back , all right . All right , you're on , you're on , we on . Yeah , what's good ? Everyone . It's Dr Nii , host of Docs Outside the Box , your favorite trauma surgeon , your neighborhood trauma surgeon .
This is alive Like .
I know who are you .
I'm Dr Renee , that's it . What do you do ? They will find out . Stay on and you'll find out . No , I'm an OBGYN , are you ? Yes , I better be , because I played one in the hospital this weekend .
Speaking of such , I need your time sheets . Oh , please , thank you very much . Sure , yo , how's everybody doing ? We got how many people ?
We got like four or five people on Instagram I'm not sure how many people are seeing us on YouTube , but shout out to everybody on YouTube , shout out to everybody on Facebook , shout out to everybody on Instagram we here , we live . It's hot as hell down here in this basement . It's hot as hell , hot , hot , yeah , that was a heat wave .
I think we're still going through it . Well , no , it was cooler today .
It's going to be in the mid-90s again tomorrow . Oh my God , somebody . Yeah , it is what it is , but the cool thing is our kids . They're off to camp . We got them rugrats to camp , which means we got our daytimes to pod again , which is the most important thing , Yo y'all .
So our youngest we pulled out of preschool and we're homeschooling him and now that the school year is done he's getting ready for kindergarten . But we have him in a camp before you know .
Obviously we start kindergarten , but like I miss having that like 10 o'clock to and I'm sure you really miss that 10 o'clock in the morning till like 2 o'clock of just some sanctity in the house Some sanctity , some sanctity . So them kids , are you with what I got Some sanctity . So them kids are in camp and them camps ain't cheap .
No camps are extremely expensive and for what they do though not the youngest , but for the most part , for what these camps do I don't know . I don't know if we're getting the return on investment , unless the time of just having time off is worth it .
Listen , exactly , You're paying to basically get your kids out of the house , right ? Like that's what you're paying for , right , Get my kids out of the house . And they're like I will oblige if you pay me , you know , thousands of dollars .
Well , that's not how much we're paying , though . Yeah , we are paying thousands of dollars , well , for one of them , but this youngest is getting some special services . That's why .
Yeah , but even the oldest . We're paying thousands of dollars . What are you thinking ?
Thousands of dollars , yes , oh man , that's a bad deal .
What's a bad deal . Who got kids in camp right now ? That's what I want to know . Oh , brittany's on , who has kids in camp ?
We , we love the Darkos . And how much is your camp Right , byc ? If you love the Darkos , I hope you download in the episode , our episodes . Give us a thumbs up .
I want to know who got your kids in camp and how much is camp ?
Actually , what I want to know is so what we just said , is that sharing too much ? What is sharing too much ?
Well , wait , wait , wait , wait . Before that , before this , but before that I wanted to share something on the feed really quickly . That sums up basically what it's like to have two boys .
Okay , go ahead .
I really want to , because there is a comedian who , yeah , he talks about having two boys and what it's like .
Hold on now , because I got my instagram feed open , I gotta go back to another instagram page but he talks about what it's like having two boys and I I listened to this thing and I was like , yeah , this is exactly what it's like having two boys hold on a second . I think his name is tom Segura , tom Segura , segura , seguro . I've heard of him .
Is it Segura or Seguro ? Here he is Okay , so let me . I'm going to share . I want to share first . How do we share a screen ? Let me share a screen first . Shoot Now , I don't know which one is , which I think you just select one . There it is so , and I think he just liked one there it is so .
And three , and they are boys , like real he-hems , if you know what I'm saying . Luckily , I have a cousin that lives near me and he has two girls the same age , six and three . And these girls come over to my house my God , what did I do wrong where I didn't get girls ? These girls , they show up and they're like hello , uncle Tommy , and they go .
We would like to color . And they sit down and they fucking color . An hour later I can go into that room and they're like where are my boys ? Are they in the house ? Are they on the house ?
That's it . No , it's more , but something's going on with the Wi-Fi . But yeah , he talks about having two boys and I'm like this is exactly what it is right , because at the end he goes . If I put my two boys in the room to color , I come back and they're like we broke the crayons and we put them in the mailbox .
And I'm like the ceiling fan is broke Right .
The window doesn't open .
Something is broken and someone might need to go to the hospital .
Yes , Someone may need to go to the hospital Inevitably , so that's what that I just wanted to .
I didn't get that . I didn't understand until , like , we took our boys out on play dates or took our boys out to other places and you see , girls it's true Girls mature faster and when they're out like , it's just like these kids , these boys , they crazy .
Yeah .
You know , like they're all over the place . They're like . You know , obviously boys are just more physical . For the most part Boys are more physical than than girls are . But I agree , girls can sit there , concentrate on a topic for like an hour , and maybe not even an hour , just concentrate for 15 minutes . Actually just concentrate for five minutes , you know .
But our boys 30 seconds and that's it . They out . If you know what I mean . Just leave something in the chat .
You know exactly what I'm talking about . So when we say , like yo , these kids are in camp .
They someone else's problem now .
They're someone else's . They can go break somebody else's crayons . They can be on somebody else's roof . They can put stuff in somebody else's mailbox , at least from nine to three .
Don't call me . Don't call me with no issues , no allergies . Y'all know what to do . Y Don't call me with no issues , no allergies . Y'all know what to do . Y'all been in here in the past . There's a hospital that's not too far away .
You have our insurance card number . Just let me know if they get admitted . That's it , that's all . That is all . So that's all I have to say about boys and camp and putting them .
But we get our time back , though that's the most important thing yeah just for a short period of time , right , but we get our time back so that we can pod back in the daytime .
And just so y'all know if y'all parents , you know what I'm talking about potting at the end of the day when you put your kids away hi , that's tiring , because by the time , they go to bed . By the time they go to bed . You're tired , you want to fall asleep , or you just want to watch something on Netflix .
Chill , have a glass of wine and then just go to bed .
Look at my face , and that's it . Look at my face .
Yeah , you look like you've been through it .
Look at my face , look at my face .
You look like you've been through it . You may have to turn that off , so I'm happy for y'all . I hope they have a great time at camp . I don't care . Yeah , from 9 until 2 o'clock or 2.15 . 3 o'clock , 3 o'clock . Don't call me they good , it's your problem , anywho .
It's their problem Anywho .
So what I wanted to talk about in this situation is we talked about how our youngest we took him out of preschool because we felt like it just wasn't a good match between him , his personality and being in a class that's like 20 , 25 kids wasn't doing well , and it got me thinking , because there was something that happened earlier this week where I'm like what
is sharing too much ? Right ? What's the line between me and you in terms of what we share and sharing too much between me and you , and then we becoming like Will and Jada .
We ride together , we die together . Bad marriage for life .
Where they share everything , and to the point where you're just like I don't want to hear from y'all anymore , right ?
That dad going near Renee . I don't want to hear from them anymore .
Oh man , right , but we were there at some point with them , right , I was like we were there , no , but what is our line ? Because , you know , this week we found out like a famous football player , his wife went on a podcast and she shared that . What did she say ? She shared that when they were dating in college .
You know she was clapping cheeks with the backup . You stay classy , is that too graphic ? Okay , excuse me , she was dating . I mean , she was dating the backup . That's saying a little too much to me . She was dating the backup on purpose , she admitted on purpose , just to get that guy jealous .
Now listen , like you know us , we don't comment on other people's relationships , but when you share so much , it's almost like like what ? First of all , my question is is what is your point of sharing that much ? That's the question . Why are you sharing that much ? That's the question . Two , what are you trying to accomplish ? And didn't you think about this ?
Like you didn't think that this would bother your man ? Like he plays football in one of the most masculine sports , where they use anything and everything to gain an advantage over you . Like that's the part where I'm just like , I don't know , man .
It sounds like sabotage to me .
¶ Setting Boundaries in Personal Relationships
Yeah , first of all I want to say shout out to Pedrito Roca , who says after nine years at MFM and after following your podcast , I'm doing locums and loving it .
Good job , good job . It's about time .
Awesome , awesome , congratulations .
Our consulting fee is in the mail . Pedrito , listen , how long have you been doing locums for and give us a little insight on , like where you're doing locums at .
Yes . So to answer the question of what is that sharing too much right ?
Like we know that that's sharing too much , but what is the line between us ? Like , what do you use on the podcast to determine , okay , this is too much and not too much ?
I would say anything that I think would Will pay it Word Pedrito , pedrito , you going to pay . You gonna pay the consulting fee ? Okay , get out of here .
So I think anything that would essentially serve sound like it serves to embarrass the other person , right Like if I said something that you know I was sharing and there was no other point for me to share this thing other than just to say it , and it's something that I know is a sensitive topic for you .
And that would be not just embarrassing , because embarrassing is one thing , one thing , right like publicly , that's embarrassing but hurtful . Right , something that's hurtful but there's no way .
What's hurtful to you may not seem hurtful for me , so , but I'm not . I'm not saying that excuses anything , but I'm just saying like , for real , for a like you may just be , like I'm just like she may have just been , like .
I'm just going to share this and just kind of talk about it , because I'm talking with friends , because you know , potting when people are potting and they're podcasting , people tend to get comfortable , right , or there appears to be a sense of let me try to be as sensational as possible and go from there .
The way in which she was talking I watched an extended version of it she was real comfortable . That host did a really good job of making her feel comfortable , and not to say that she set the trap , but the podcast host made her mad comfortable so that she could feel comfortable sharing that .
So what I'm saying between me and you is you know , you may look at it as because we've had these arguments before , or we had it at where I'm like yo , like you think that's funny , but to me that's not funny , like I got a problem with that . So how do you know ? Because it seems as though you're saying well , you got to know , as the other spouse .
You do . I mean it's kind of your job to . It's kind of your job , right , as a spouse , to keep learning , you know , to keep learning about your spouse , right , Like that's your job .
I mean , I think , if you don't know , there's a disconnect somewhere where you're saying something to someone or you're saying something about someone , or you're saying something to your spouse , and at some points there's got to be topics that you know are hurtful .
So should you talk about this before there's got to be topics that you know are hurtful , so should you talk about this before .
Well , yeah , I mean , I think this is something that you say listen , if this topic should come up , you know , should I go down that road and talk about it ? Right , because it's not like a fly-by-night thing . It's like they had to have had this discussion before . But at the same time , if he was like I don't really care , so do you have a ?
line . Do you have a line ? Of course I have a line , Okay , so question is what if ? Because a lot of times , like I may not know exactly what your line is , you may not know exactly what my line is , but what if I cross the line on the show ? Do you let me know while on the show ? Do you stop the show ? Do you let me know while on the show ?
Do you stop the ?
show . Do you edit it out ?
Talk to me about that . So let's say we were on this live right now , yes , and I brought up something that was cross your line , which I don't . I don't know , I'd be like you doing too much , see , but you still keeping it kind of funny .
I'd say you doing too much . But you know , if I say you're doing too much , you would know . You should know me enough at this point .
I feel like we should have like a safe word . Is that your safe theme ? That's the safe word .
That's the safe word , that's the safe phrase . You're doing too much , don't go to any , don't do it , don't do it .
So , for example , like on the what podcast is that ? The one with SNMA , the Pulse Right ? On that podcast we were talking about getting ready for the SNMA conference , which that was a great podcast . Yes , I like that . But recently on that , I shared that prior to us getting married , there was some infidelity on my part there , right , or I alluded to it .
I didn't specifically say that , but I alluded to that , but it's very clear , but it's very clear , right . What that was and that's a that for me was a that was a big block , a big hurdle , something that I didn't feel very I didn't feel like sharing that .
When I mentioned it , you didn't have an issue with it , but I can tell you were kind of treading lightly on that too .
Because I think at this point it's not something , it's not something that . So for me I'm like well , we're married now , right ? So obviously , you know , while we were dating , you know this was something that you know we were , we had gone through , and so I'm kind of over that particular hurdle .
Right , but if people start , if the public started saying certain things , let's say they're not true , but they started making light of it and so forth , Is that our fault for putting it out there on Front Reef ? Well , yeah , I mean once you put something .
Listen , once you put something out . Once you put something out , now it's fodder for everybody . Right To be like ah , you know , ah , whatever Like it's , you know it's out there for anybody to say .
That's how I feel . Once you put it out there on the internet , that's it , it's it .
It doesn't belong to you anymore . Right , it belongs to the internet . Exactly , you put it out there . Whatever energy comes back , comes back , comes back .
That's it , and then that's the end of it but it's just , I feel like nowadays , with podcasting , like there is a race to like , sensationalize everything , right , like if you're gonna say something then say it with your chest right , or you know , just speaking about filling your cup is not good enough anymore .
Like you gotta like , even as a football wife , even as a football wife now you gotta say yo , you gotta smell the roses I was dating the backup , you know , and Well , I mean , there's something well , so I will say this she could have said like we had our ups and downs , you know , and things like that she could have even said this , a little bit of that .
You know what I'm saying .
She could have even said right , like we weren't exclusive , right , we weren't mutually exclusive . You know , I stepped out , he stepped out .
She could have said but she didn't step out though .
Well , she did . You said she was dating the backup quarterback .
They were not . She didn't cheat , she just said that when they were not together .
Gotcha Gotcha that she was dating that guy just to make him jealous , so that hopefully he would then look at her and be like Correct and it worked . Whatever , ok , well , ok , fine . So I mean , if that's the case . So , if that's the case , I thought you were saying that she cheated with this guy . I misunderstood that .
If that's the case , then no , I don't know if it's sharing too much . What I , what I might say is sharing too much , is if she starts comparing the two , she did .
Okay . Well then that— Because she was saying that you know her husband , current husband , who the football player is . He's very like southern gentleman , gentle nice , he's a gentleman , all these different things Whereas that guy was , you know he's a bad boy , you know he had this , you know this energy about him , that you know all these different things .
That , in essence , was like a backhanded compliment to her husband . That's the way I looked at it , right .
I mean , I don't know that I would go around comparing you know , especially publicly , but comparing you know , people that I've dated and you know , and saying , well , my husband is this , but this guy is that . And , first of all , I don't even know if I remember you know what someone was like when I dated them .
I think the only time that I would remember is if someone was like like , if I had like a traumatic experience with that person , like other than that I'm like . I don't remember what I don't remember what we did .
You know there's a bunch of people listening like she bullshitting .
I'm not . I don't like I don't .
She bullshitting . I'm not going to go in there . You're doing too much . You're doing too much , I'm not saying anything .
You're doing too much . That's the safe phrase .
That's not my safe phrase . I'm just fucking with you .
But I don't know , I'm like you know , the fact that she's comparing , I don't know , I don't know . It would just for me anyway , that would make me feel uncomfortable . Right , that would make me feel uncomfortable . But I mean , if her husband doesn't care that she was even dating this guy because he married her , then who cares ?
I mean in essence , who cares ? That's the whole point . Who cares ? What do y'all think ?
Was she doing too much ? Let's see what Dr Pedrito Roca said .
Well no , you can just go right here and just hit show .
Okay .
Just hit show .
Oh , I see here .
Okay , so Pedrito says thanks so much . After nine years at MFM and after following your podcast , I am doing locum and loving it , and then we asked them let me see Okay here .
So locum since , oh , since January 2024 . So the beginning of this year he's been doing locums , yeah , in South Bend , hey , south Bend is in is in Indiana , indiana .
So hold on before everybody goes , before we move on everybody . Locums , remember , is basically you're an independent contractor . You are a doctor that works for yourself , so you are not employed by anybody . You're not employed by the hospital . You don't work for the hospital . You don't work for a private practice .
You are basically just selling your services to a hospital . You work there and then at the end , when you're done , you submit maybe a timesheet , you submit an invoice and they pay you and then when they pay you , they pay you the entire amount .
There's nothing taken out for taxes and then you as a contractor have to figure out all your tax situation and things like that . I love it . We've been working like that for seven years and , yeah , that's what he is . So he's a locum tenens .
Which brings us to our next one , hold on hold , on hold , on hold .
on what else ? Go back to his other comments . My wife found your podcast and also loves it . She is the CEO .
Oh , that brings us to our next topic .
Okay , go back to the next one . He says goes without saying I was a little scared about doing locums , but both of you had given us courage to do it . Thanks so much . I'm glad we gave you the liquid courage .
I'm drunk . Show up , beautiful , I'm drunk .
Or the audio courage to go ahead and do it , because once you do it you ain't going to go back . Yo , I did it . I did it when I finished fellowship , when I finished training at University of Miami . I did locums for a year and a half based off of your recommendation . I loved it and then I was like yo , we got to get a job .
We got a job and I won't say I hated it , but I felt cramped and it wasn't for me you hated it at the end , I'll say that , and since 2017 since 2017 we've been on our own , pure 100% locums independent contractor , and we ain't gonna do it if we don't have to . So , pedrito , you can do this now .
The question is , when you're doing it , though , are you doing it just as OB ? Are you doing OB-GYN ? No , I'm doing MFM . So you can do MFM as locums . Yeah , oh , wow , okay , I didn't know that . Okay , you can do MFM locums Awesome . Everybody needs locums , Everybody so yeah , which leads us to our next topic .
What's the next topic ? Am ? Am I Dr Renee's boss ? Pedrito , you said that your wife was your boss . Your CEO , excuse me , I think I am your boss . You'd like to be yeah ?
You're doing too much , that's your safe word
¶ Managing Timesheets and Expenses for Locums
. Where's my time sheets ? Anyway , where's my time sheets ? I need those time sheets . I will give you a time sheet . I need the time sheets .
I will give you a timesheet .
I need the timesheets .
I will give you the timesheets .
Because this place takes a while to pay , so I really need those timesheets . You will get the timesheet Okay Tonight . Thank you , okay , how are you going to do the timesheets ? Tell them how you're going to do the timesheets . So why do we need the timesheets ?
You let them know . Have my tally thing . After every locums assignment , what we do is we create a timesheet , right ? The reason we create a timesheet is basically for documentation . So we own our own locums company , if you will right .
So our locums company employs us , and so to keep things on the up and up and to keep the documentation the way it's supposed to be , we create a timesheet . From that timesheet we're able to decipher how many hours were worked , you know . So how many hours of , depending on how it's set up .
So how many hours of base pay , so how many hours of base pay , how many hours of backup pay , how many hours per shift . So it really depends on how we're working , where we're working , what the contract is set up for us to work , you know . In that way , once we get the timesheet , then we're able to create the invoice for the hospital .
So that helps us to keep everything in line . Because if you just create an invoice for the hospital but you don't have a timesheet , then if there's a question on that invoice , you're not going to have a timesheet , you're not going to be able to have a breakdown of where you got that number on the invoice .
And so you need to be able to know where you got that number on the invoice before you send it to the facility . Once the facility gets the invoice , that's their trigger to then pay you . Yeah .
I think most places , most situations , most specialties , the way in which you charge is based off of how many hours you worked , or how many days you worked , or basically , there's a time , the amount of time that you put in right Not the output , but the amount of time that you put in that gets charged right .
So you know , like a plumber , a little bit different of a plumber , a plumber will say well , I use this type of equipment , and then I also , and I put this amount of time , and then this is the total bill . Right , it's kind of similar but it's not .
Whereas with Renee it's like well , she worked from Friday evening until Monday morning and she needs a form that says she worked from Friday evening until Monday morning . We don't need to know how many babies she delivered , we don't need to know , you know whatever else she did clinically . All we need to know is that she signed it that I was available .
and yeah , I was available and present .
And then from there we use something called Wave Some of you may use QuickBooks , whatever it may be and then in there we type in the hours and then it calculates and spits out an invoice and then the other thing in the invoice we put in how many miles did she drive from her house straight to the hospital , around the hospital and then back .
And all of that stuff is charged as a reimbursable expense . And then the lodging and then the lodging the hotel . You know we keep the receipts , we put that on the invoice and be like yo , we want to get paid for that . And then that gets sent to the hospital .
So the hospital gets an invoice , they get a timesheet , and then they get all the receipts , right ? So if we're doing gas or if we're doing a hotel or if we're doing , you know , whatever it may be , that we need receipts for that we won't reimburse .
We submit that and then several weeks later we get a check , either in the mail or we get a direct deposit , and then that's how we get paid as a company . Right , that's how we get paid as a company , yeah .
And then from there Wait . So it's important to know Right when we say we get paid as a company , right ? So Dr Renee worked her OB shift from Friday until Monday . But the check doesn't come to Dr Renee , the check comes to the name .
Dr Darko .
No , it doesn't , Because of Dr Darko Incorporated of the company and so our company is the one that gets paid . So we don't get paid directly as the individuals . Our company gets paid even though we own the company , but our company is the one that gets paid .
And then From there the company pays me as if I'm a W-2 employee , and then the same thing for Renee , and we get a check in the mail or we get a direct deposit and by the end of the year there's a W-2 that gets mailed to us or gets emailed to us , and when it's time for us to do our taxes we submit a W-2 like anybody who is employed .
It's just that our employer says our company name and then it has all the information for us . So there's some hoops that you have to jump to with that , but I'm gonna tell you right now if I don't have to be employed again by directly by a hospital , I will . I will not do it . I prefer working this way . I love it this way .
Dr Renee , if you want to talk about why you like it , I mean , I just like the , I like the freedom of my schedule . That's what I so how do you work ?
Tell them how you work .
So I work one weekend a month , sometimes two weekends a month . On occasion I'll work two weekends a month , my preference depending on where I am . But right now my preference for this particular hospital is to work from Friday evening until Monday morning . That just works for me , just at this particular facility . I don't like doing that .
Well , but at this particular facility that works for me . It doesn't work at every facility , because the last facility I was working at it didn't work for me .
So , that's .
I didn't work like that . The last facility I worked at I you know my availability that I gave to them was that I'm willing to do three 12s , you know , on a Friday , saturday and Sunday . So I was willing to do three 12s and then come back on Monday morning . So I would still do a weekend , but it was just a different type of shift .
Again , it's just based on the hospital that I'm working at and just the dynamics at the hospital .
Some places you could do 12-hour shifts or so 12 hours in-house , and then you do another 12-hour shift and that's it . You're off , yeah , and then you're kind of relaxing and then you go back and hit it again . Yeah , and then you're kind of relaxing and then you go back and hit it again yeah . Is that like a typical ?
That's the typical OB hospitalist type model , right ?
Yeah , yeah , I would say that Either the 12 or the 24-hour shift , but something in intervals of 12 .
Yeah , and you've been working like this since 2017 . Got a question for you .
What is the worst part about working for yourself ? The worst part about working for myself .
And you can't say that I'm your boss .
You're not my boss . Nii , you're not my boss . How would you ? First of all , before I answer that question , how would you be my boss ?
I'm just joking , I'm not your boss . I know , but like that's the question that you put , this question Well you know somebody's like , but it's a joke , like because I'm hounding you for a timesheet , like as if , like , I'm middle management .
Exactly . That's the reason why I'm saying that the worst part , thank you Middle , thank you the worst part about working for myself is basically having to come home to talk to management , which is you ? Okay , that's what it is .
You can just say middle management , okay .
I set this up real good and you answered real good . I am the middle management .
That's right , you're the middle management .
Yes , so that's the worst part . I am the middle management . That's right , you're the middle management yes . So that's the worst part Now actually I don't know the worst part , oh God , of working for myself .
¶ Professional Obligations and Patient Relationships
I mean you , so I do the work , you tend to do all the administrative stuff , so I don't have to deal with the administrative stuff . I've done administrative stuff before , stuff before , but you know , we've kind of got a system going where it works really well with me , you know just working and then you doing administrative stuff .
So I actually don't have , you know , any gripes about , you know , working for myself . I don't , because all I do is just work .
I only just do the work , right , I just show up . What about you ? For me , the worst part is the quarterly tax planning , the end of year type thing , like that stuff . So you know me invoicing . I have no problem with .
It's the making sure that the bookkeeping is going on , making sure that , like , the proper tax documents are filled out , and there's apps that do this for you , which is what we do , but to me sometimes that could be a little hectic .
There's the you know , the meetings of how much taxes we owe or how much we are getting back , like certain things that are like really big decisions that sometimes I'm like this stuff could be really high level , but I don't like that part , but also , at the same time , I don't it's not that I don't like it enough to say like I don't want to deal with this
anymore and that . I want to go and be employed . That's never going to be the case . So it's just one of those things that I just got to figure out and deal with , because there's nothing , there's no such thing as a perfect world Like you have to figure out something , right ?
So , figure out what you don't like or what you do like , find some , you know , happy place , which is what I've found . I'm like look , I deal with this on a quarterly basis , you know , and definitely at the end of the year , and then I kind of move on and go from there .
Yeah , so that , for me , is the part that I don't like , but I'll just be honest with you . I'll keep it a buck . It's not enough to make me move away .
Yeah , yeah , me neither , considering I'm not doing it .
One thing that I think folks need to know , that I would like for you to talk about , is the follow up Right . What do you mean ? Like you're taking care of people for two and a half days , three days , what happens when you leave ? Like , aren't these your patients ? No , so how does that work then ? So how does that work then ?
So , first of all , I just want to say unless you are literally in your own private practice that you own , like the idea of your patients in terms of I don't want to say ownership , because I don't really like that word , but I will use that word in lieu of a better word but ownership In lieu , yes , in lieu , ownership of your patient load is not really a
thing anymore .
Right , because if you work at a hospital , right , if you're employed by a hospital , yeah , those are your patients in that , those are the patients that you are encountering , but when you leave , you're not able to be like hey , I'm going to work at the hospital up the street , you should come with me , because the hospital will say that is our patient , that is
not your patient .
So if you were to go up the street , you'd have to develop a whole new . You have the patients you'd have to . You'd have to start advertising and a whole new bunch of patients , because those patients can't come at you .
Well , they can if they want to , but you cannot solicit those patients .
And the hospital will do everything they can to make sure that those hospitals will follow you .
Absolutely Got you , so you know so , so they're not your patients . So they're . So they're never your patients , right ? And so that was one of the things that I had to reconcile in my mind before . Was that hard ? No , that actually wasn't . No , I will tell you , it wasn't hard , because it didn't make a difference , right ?
If I worked at a hospital , short of me setting up my own practice , which I didn't want to do , so the only other option for me if I wasn't doing locums was to be employed . But I end up in the same boat , because those patients are not my patients . Those patients are not my patients .
So when you left because I think it's easy to say when you work , when you work as a locums , you already have in your mind that I'm in , I'm out , go from there .
But when you were private sorry , you were never private practice but when you had your own , clinic when you had your own clinic , even though you were working at a hospital , did you feel like kind of like these were like your patients ?
So okay , so I'm talking about the technical side , right as far as the relationship that I have with patients .
Look at Renee kind of clean it up . I'm not cleaning it up , she's going to try to clean it up .
This is what it is right , Because I love all of my patients Go ahead you , barry White , in right now , like I don't understand .
I'm podding right now .
Okay , so , guys , who has the better voice ?
I think I do have the better voice . I think my voice carries better Great Between the sheets hour . Oh , my boy Go ahead .
So , as far as the relationship that I have with patients , yeah , I always feel that connection to patients , right . Yeah , I always feel that connection to patients , right . So if we're talking about the technicality of are these your patients ?
It's like , well , no , technically , none of these patients are technically my patients that I can solicit and have interactions in exactly the way that I want , even if I'm not going to be at that particular hospital anymore , right , like , so that's the technical side .
As far as the relationship that I build with patients , yeah , I mean the relationship that I build with patients , I feel is a special relationship , right . Whether I'm doing locums or whether I was doing , you know , the clinic practice as an employed doc , I think you just feel this sense of obligation , right .
So there's not this sense of ownership in the sense you know , in the technical sense that I was talking about before , but there is this sense of obligation , right , that you are the one , like the buck stops with you with this patient , like you have to know , you have to know what is your best recommendation for this patient .
You have to know how to advocate for this patient . You have an obligation to this person .
We get all the positive stuff . Okay , we get all that stuff , all the positive stuff , that cookie cutter , essay writing stuff . So for me it's a little bit easier , then why did you ? ask . I don't know , I don't know , but for me it's a bit easier , because the patients that I see are on an emergent basis , yes , and then they're in and out constantly .
Right , we fix , we move on .
Sorry , we fix and or we temporize and then we move on and we ship them off to somebody else who will have a longer type of relationship with them , right , so kind of similar to emergency physicians , right , like we're trauma surgeons , they're emergency physicians , but basically temporize and or fix and then get them to their final place .
But I will say this and I know you've experienced this as well is when you've had a patient and it's like a difficult case or an interesting case or something that you're really , really worried about this person and you're off duty . Oh , I'll be calling , you call back .
Let's go . What'd you do with my patient ? How are they doing ? Are they all right , are they ?
going ? Yep , absolutely I have definitely done that where I have called and I'm like what did you do with my patient ? What did you do ? Like I want to know how is she doing ? Did she recover ? How's the baby X , y and Z right ? So I've definitely done that where I've called and found out how the patient is doing .
I mean there's some gratification there to see if , like , your plan is being continued because you're just like , okay , I know what you know is being continued because you're just like , okay , I know what , you know , I'm doing the right thing , or did you get it right , or you know , yeah . So I think that that's there , absolutely , absolutely .
I always get that whenever I have like a really bad trauma patient that comes in right as I'm leaving , you want to make sure that , like , whatever you started is either being continued or at least you're on the right path of diagnosing or treating , and that you know there's not a drastic change or departure from what you're doing . I agree with you there .
But before we belabor this real quick , we got to let people know about the new episode drop , though . Okay . Okay , because today , guys , on Tuesdays , we released episode 416 with Dr Russell Lede man . What can I say about this guy , dr Russell Lede ? He is a resident , the man . Yeah , he's a resident Out in Indiana .
Yeah , he's a resident who's in a triple board certified you know him , Dr Roca . So he is going to be doing adult and child psychiatry and I forget what .
The third one , adult , child and adolescent All three of those things are separate board in essence , and he is , first of all , not many men that go into this specialty , but he's there , he's doing well and he's known for a whole bunch of different things .
The biggest one is I think he's known for is the journey he took , which everybody knows him as going from a security guard at that hospital to being a doctor , not necessarily at that hospital , but literally saying yo , I'm interested in what all the doctors are coming in to see .
I may have escorted some of you doctors you know , from the parking lots to you know certain parts of the hospital , or even to your car , and he's saying hey , now I need an escort . In essence , yeah , like I want to be a doctor and he became a doctor .
And then the other thing is he was part of that group that took a picture in front of a plantation , I think in Louisiana . Yes , took a picture . They had like I think it was 15 . 15 .
15 African-American medical students who had their white coats on on the plantation taking a picture letting people know that listen for y'all , this is where we're at right now . We stand on your shoulders , and it was a very powerful picture .
It made it all through the news and from that he was able to parlay that into an organization that he created with other folks called 15 White Coats the 15 White Coats , the 15 White Coats .
¶ Fitness Challenge Banter and Work-Life Balance
No-transcript . A very good conversation to talk about . Not just that , because sometimes you can get a little too foo-foo , but it's also like dude , like you , a resident , and he's also a dad and a husband , and a husband , yep , you know , how are you managing that ? You trying to finish residency and you're helping to run a nonprofit ?
Talk to us about the delineation of duties . How do you delegate and all that stuff . So , good conversation . Make sure you guys check that out .
Yeah , especially the pre-meds . If you're listening and you're just wondering how in the world am I going to do it , take a listen . It's good , take a listen .
Yeah , he's talented , he's talented .
Yeah .
Listen , he's talented , he's talented . Yeah , listen , let's kind of take a break for this next one .
Let's talk about but you're moving the mic , oh yeah , sorry my bad . How are you a podcaster and you're moving the mic ? My bad , I don't get what just happened here .
So six months since I've been working out , how about you ? How many months ?
Since , since I've been working out .
How about you ? How many months ?
Since November I'm doing too much , Anyway . Since November .
Yo guys , I just want to know how buffed is too buff for you , no .
Don't start that . Don't start that conversation with me . No , you saw us talking about some . Oh , you want to be ? What do you call that Miss the universe thing ? I didn't say all that .
All I'm saying is that I'm really excited . I'm excited about the consistency that I've been using with the app . I'm excited about the gains . The future app yeah , the future app and they're not sponsoring this , but they should but it's an app that I've been using that gives me all the workouts that I need to know . It's so easy to follow .
I love it and that's what I've been using . So I want to show people what I can do . So why don't you count how many pushups I can do ?
Right now yeah in a minute , let's do it . Okay . Where are you doing these pushups ? I'm doing it right here . Can they see you ?
Yes , they can see me Watch out for a second . Oh my Lord , yeah , yeah , we changing it up on . Y'all you got a timer ? No , y'all you got a timer . No , right there , you got to watch . Can they see right here ? They can see right here . Let me see . Can they see me right ?
here , let's see . Yes you can be seen Hold on a second .
All right , let me know when I'm ready to go .
Oh my God , Bust this out you didn't tell me you were don't need to know everything . I do need to know this . No , you don't . Okay , you got the timer in a minute all right .
So how many push-ups can I do in a minute ? All right , let's see . Okay , you're ready , hurry up . And they gotta be the right ones , right all ?
right , yes , they see me , yes all right can y'all see him on your mark , get set , go one , two , three , count right four . When I go up I am 23 , 24 , 25 , 26 , 27 , 28 , 29 , 30 , 31 , 32 , 33 , 34 , 35 , 36 , 37 , 38 , 39 , 40 , 41 , 42 . Come on , come on , you want to do it . 43 , 44 , uh-huh , 45 . Come on , come on , you want to do it . 43 .
44. , uh-huh , 45 . Keep going . 46 . Almost done , seven seconds . 47 . Come on , 48 . 49 . Just shy of 50 .
Just shy of 50 , just shy of 50 . Look at that gun show . Look at that gun show . I'm a trauma surgeon I shouldn't be talking about , but you know what I mean . Sound like an ortho right now . You could use more the fours right here . Sound like an ortho right now . You could use more to fours right here .
Sound like an ortho . Okay , just shy of 50 . Not bad , and they were good form . That's the key . No , first of all , they couldn't hear , but them elbows was cracking yo .
Hey yo , I thought that was the only one . Yo shit Yo my elbows are . I got some conjointing up in this mug , yo Damn .
That elbow was cracking . What's happened ?
Look at me sweating yo . Yeah , this is real potting yo . But I got a good pump . But I got a good pump .
Listen all I got to say . All I got to say is you don't want an OB running your code . Come on now . You really don't Not
¶ Tesla Lease Experience and EV Challenges
going to happen . I'm in that good shape , you don't want an OB running your code , dr Roca , pedrito . Pedrito Roca , do you want an ?
OB . He's not even on it . We don't have an OB here anymore . What are you talking about Now ?
I'll ask him Move on , move on , move on , guys , come on .
He's still talking like he's there . He's not there anymore . Move on , he's not there .
So , Dr Haynes .
Dr Cooper , man , I gotta catch my breath for a second man . Damn , oh my goodness . All right , all right , let's go to the next topic . As I catch my breath , oh , I feel like this should be like boys , boys to men . What does that mean ? It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday . Okay , yo , it's gone . Yo , the Tesla got to go back , y'all .
Yeah , so two years ago .
Yeah , tesla's going back is end of the lease .
Well , technically we didn't get a Tesla , our company got a Tesla , we got it . Man , can I just tell the story ? Tell the story .
I mean you out of breath .
You're doing too much . I feel in you out of breath , but yeah y'all , Two years ago we got a .
Tesla hey , you free to do push-ups if you can . Nope , I didn't listen . Try to get to three and not breathe too hard . I ain't no one going to make a fool out of myself . I don't think I did though .
I said I'm not going to make a fool out of myself , all right .
Well , y'all the Tesla is going back in the next couple of days . Well , our company leased the Tesla . We made it a tax write-off I forget what code it is . Well , if you guys are watching this on YouTube or whatever you guys are watching it on on video , we'll put on the section code , whatever it is .
But basically there's a provision where you can write off a vehicle if you use it for business only purposes , which is what I did . Two years ago .
I got a Tesla Model Y , which I love , performance version , and I got a 15,000 , well , basically a 30,000 lease over two years , 30,000 mile lease , um , divided by two , over two years , and um , it was a good experience . It was a very interesting experience .
First of all , you purchasing or looking for the car purchasing the car , or at least putting the all the payments doing everything through an app , the car , or at least putting all the payments doing everything through an app receiving the car remember and then you know , just using it for the last two years for business purposes .
It was very interesting , very interesting . I think I'm going to make a separate episode about like all my thoughts about it . But part of me is ready to go back to a gas car and another part of me is like , if I was to do it again , would I go back to a gas car ?
And another part of me is like , if I was to do it again , would I go back to a gas car . If you were to do what again ? If I was to lease again ? oh , okay , yeah if it's the least again okay , I mean , I'm gonna be honest , like having a hybrid car , I think to me is the best of both worlds , because I just think from a an electric ev .
The best way I describe it is it's like going from a Star Trek phone right them flip phones , yeah To like an iPhone 4 or like an iPhone 5 . Right , where , like yo , it's a big ass jump to go Like . That's a big jump in terms of technology .
Right .
Right , like having apps on your phone texting so easily , all those different things , having a web apps on your phone texting so easily , all those different things , having a web browser on your phone .
That makes it super easy to do , but it's an iphone 4 yeah you know it's an iphone 5 , like we're now at , like iphone 15 , so like there's so much technological advances that have occurred from before to where we are right now . And that's kind of how I felt . I felt like this is a great change , like this is amazing , it's great .
But then you can just see , like , first of all , the build quality is just it's not up to par with a regular car . Every time I was driving and I hit bumps , you always hear something kind of just you know whether it's the seats not like you know I don't know if they're not bolted all the way in or the windows . That's scary .
The windows are just not the seats not bolted all the way in . Thanks , you know you freaking , breaking your seat is uh going out the window .
Well , you never have that big of an issue .
But there's been people who've been saying , like you know , like the panels , like right , like you see how , like you'll have the side of the car and how the door closes , like they'll say , like there's a gap , you know the gap that is when you open the door yeah and then you close the door and it seems like a seamless thing .
Like people say , like in some of their cars , their teslas , like that gets wider and wider over time god or like the , the hood of the car doesn't close all the way . Oh my god , you know . So even when we looked at , we did an inspection on our car yeah , we did . We had an issue of it . You know , the guy had an .
Oh yeah , just let me just pop this right .
I'm like yeah , I was like what kind of damn quality control is going on in this damn car ? It's been done already , yeah like .
but yeah , I think the biggest thing that I did not like is the the transit time . Right , it changes your commute time . So I'm four and a half hours away by car . You better add on an hour to that . So what was a four and a half hour drive is now a six hour . No , it's like a five .
Yeah , it's a five and a half hour drive now because you got to charge for . Depending on where you're going , you probably have to charge for another 35 , 45 minutes and then when you get to that place where I got to , I'm still at the end of my battery again .
So then by the next morning it's like well , I got to get to work and I only have like nine percent left . And then , if it's cold , what if you leave it overnight at nine percent ? Then you might be at like seven percent and you're like I don't even know if I have enough to get to work . Right , then it's not only do you get to work at 7% or 9% .
If I do this 12-hour shift , when I come back to this car is it going to be at like 2% and I can't even start it . And then , how far away is a charging station ? And it just came to a point after I was like I'm sick and tired of thinking about all this freaking , all this stuff with a car .
Like , the car is great , but I should not have to be thinking about all this stuff all the time . That's the stuff that drove me nuts . Now , people who listen to it maybe just like well , you know , if your hospital had a charging station , that's great .
But if your hospital doesn't have a charging station and I have to say that the majority of places don't have a charging station there , so that's frustrating . And if your hotel has , if your hotel has one then it's easy too , right , you just charge overnight .
But I didn't , so I would have to plug it into like a regular outlet overnight and that just charges 1% an hour , right , which gets you like 10 miles an hour basically , but it's going back .
Yeah , I mean , the kids are not going to be happy about that .
No , they're not , they're not going to be happy about .
Not , they're not going to be happy about that and I would be happy especially , it's a big tablet , it's a tablet that drives to them . Yeah , especially our older one . He loves that car , loves that car , yeah , but I think , you know , I think the Tesla is good for local driving .
Yes , I think EVs are really good for local . Yeah , because you should have a charger at your house , right , hopefully a charger where you're going , right .
But yeah , I think it's good for local driving .
¶ Tesla Driving and Range Anxiety
Once you start going long distance , it's just a little bit , it's a little bit much , right ? You start having to plan for all stuff and let me tell you one of the reasons that I never , you know , I was not a fan of taking that car with me to places .
So that's the one thing , that you never drove it or you rarely drove it . Well , I rarely drove it . Why is that ?
But I never drove it to work , you know , even though the whole point of getting the car was for our locums' work . But I actually never not once in two years did I ever drive that car to work .
And the reason why is .
The reason is because I spend so much time planning other things outside of my own life . I got two boys . I got to be planning for them constantly . Who needs this for school ? Who needs that for lunch ? Who has this event going on ? Who got whatever ?
I'm like , I don't need one more thing that I need to plan for A car is not something I should have to plan for . If I run out of gas , I just say , oh , I'm out of gas and I make sure I'm in Jersey , so I don't even have to get out of my car to pump my own gas , thank God , and I get my gas .
You know , it takes me five minutes and then I'm done . I don't have to even think about it to go to work or even to come back from work , and for me it was just another thing that I had to think about .
What do they call ?
it . They call it range anxiety , range anxiety . Like I didn't want to have that .
It's not for everybody . I'll tell you that , yeah , not for everybody . And I think , as soon as the big thing is people who live in apartments , right , because if you live in an apartment , like where , if you don't have a charging station when you put in your car to charge , you know that could be an issue , and then .
So I think , if you use it on , if you use it just for daily commuting , it's great .
Yeah .
Because now you're talking about , if you're using it daily , you probably have to charge , maybe once a week , maybe , yeah Right .
And local . Local , yeah , not like Manhattan local . Yeah , you're driving from Brooklyn to Manhattan because that .
That can be an issue too , because if you get stuck in traffic , of course , if you get stuck in traffic , it's charge you done so . I think in another episode I'll get into specifically . You know the issue there , but from a tax standpoint it worked really well for us , right ?
Once again , like we didn't pay for it , our business paid for it , yeah , and it worked great and we had to get insurance for it , right , it was great . I loved it . It was great and it was sexy to drive nice .
Everybody's looking at you like what's it like to drive a tesla ? Like that intrigue standpoint was great . Yeah , our younger one , he's like he .
I mean , every time he sees a tesla he goes a tesla , a tesla , mommy yeah , it's fun , it's fun to drive , but then you just , I think you just have to be ready to take on a different way of life yeah which I was not ready . Yeah you , you gotta be able to , because if you can't , then you know . But but there are other evs out there .
The problem is with the other evs . They may be built better because they're built by the companies , like the bigger companies , like actually , like kia , hyundai and so forth . The problem is their charging situation . Yeah , so I'd be honest like tesla's , tesla's like the iphone , right , whereas like the ubiquity of everything , like you can go , and so forth .
The problem is their charging situation . So I'd be honest like Tesla's , tesla's like the iPhone , right , whereas like the ubiquity of everything , like you can go , drive on a New Jersey turnpike and every stop that you go to is going to have a Tesla charger . That's great .
The problem , though , is if there's only like 13 chargers and more and more people are getting it , then that's the issue . You know what I'm saying . Then where are you going to charge your stuff at ? But then you know .
But if you go to a part of town , or if you're going to a different like place , geographically , like where I am , where there are not too many chargers , then that becomes an issue . But anyway , it's going back y'all . I don't know if I'm going to get another one AMT3546 says .
That's what my kids say too . Ha ha , yeah , a Tesla , a Tesla , all day long , all day long .
Should we do this last subject real quick ?
Sure , we've been on for a long time and I need to watch my House of the Dragon .
Oh , we got to keep it quick , then let's keep it quick . I got to watch my House of the Dragon . All right , let's keep it quick because we're going to have to bounce real quick . But listen y'all , quincy Wilson
¶ Child Prodigy and Social Development
. Quincy Wilson , he is a phenom , 16 year old , track and field phenom . In a 400 , just ran 44.5 at the Olympic trials . This boy literally boy is dope , is dope . Hopefully we hear about him , continue to hear about him over the next 10 years . But he's an amazing athlete and I used to run track so I pay attention to these things .
But I want to give a shout out to him for being 16 years old and finishing sixth in the finals of the Olympic trials . But I also want to give a shout out to his coach , Joe Lee , who's also he probably doesn't remember , but he was a senior when I was a freshman at St Benedict's Prep .
So I just want to say shout out to him for building a great program at Bullis High School in Maryland and for coaching his kid and doing a great job . So I just want to give a shout out to them for doing that . And that boy is fast . And it's a lot of pressure for a 16-year-old . He's only a sophomore , right ? My goodness .
He's only a sophomore and he's running races and finishing these races and beating people like literally twice his age . You know like it is amazing . Yeah , he's a big-time phenom . You want to show his face real quick .
Yeah , if these ad blockers would just stop . I know man , I know . Yeah , let's see , is this it ? Yeah , yeah , he is fast , so I was watching .
Just the pause on the site .
You were showing me where . Oh , here Right right there . You were showing me a race that he ran , and that particular race happened to be the finals , which I was like . That is amazing , Because in order to get to the finals , I mean that means you are the best of the best .
Yeah .
And the running joke that we had . The running joke that we had was they showed the other contestants right , the . You know the other runners and I was like man , these guys are old enough to be his father . And one of them was a 32-year-old man Now .
He was old enough to be his teenage father , but nonetheless old enough to be his father , and I was like this boy is running against men .
Yeah , and then when you look at the time Right , there's literally like he beat somebody in that trial time . There's literally like he beat somebody in that trial . There's less than like 0.3 seconds that separates him versus the winner , and this person has 16 years of maturity in front of them . You know it's , it's , it's like it's really amazing .
It's really amazing . But I think the key thing that I want to take away from this , he's just a boy yes right , he doesn't even have a driver's license . Um , my question to you is how young is young enough for just a prodigy , right ? Because , like I can understand if he was 17 right right now , I can understand , but he's 16 .
This would even make even more sense if he was like a senior , right ?
because then he's going to college .
Like yeah dude , it's your world and stuff , but as a 15-year-old who just turned 16 , like he is finishing up he just finished up his sophomore year . How much is too much ? Because he finished sixth , which means that he might be an alternate to go to Paris , france .
But what if he had finished third or second and he became a qualifier to go to the Olympics ?
Would you let him go to the Olympics as a Well at this point ? If he runs it , if I let him run it , then yes . Then the answer is yes right , because I would not have him run it if the thought process was this is a little bit too much . Okay , so what ?
about before that , let's say his season ended . He did his nationals , he won nationals for high school and so forth , and they're like listen , you know what ? Your boy just qualified for the US Olympic trials , which means that if he wins , he may end up earning a spot on the Olympic team . He's going to go to Paris . What are your thoughts ?
on that . I'm very , very I'm very cognizant of how much pressure is put on children . Yeah , right , and we see this in a lot of different areas Child actors , child actors , child musicians . Even in academics , when you have geniuses , right , like these things can be a lot of pressure .
And so the question is just because a child can do something , should the child be allowed to do it in a time where they are still developing socially , because the social development may not be there yet , right ? Just because just because a child can finish college at the age of 12 does not mean that they are socially ready to do that .
That's what I was going to ask you . So if they academically can finish high school by 12 and go to college at 12 , or you have these other geniuses who are like yeah , I'm in med school by like 12 . School by like 12 . That would like like a Doogie Howser , right , like . So my thing is , there's this tough balance of like .
If you slow the kid down , then there's this like I know , I know for more , I know Right . So there's this academic thirst for more .
But then you know , socially they're just not they're just not there at that age Right , they're just not there emotionally , like , do you let the kid move ?
in . Do you let the kid move into college at 12 ? No , no , no .
I don't , I don't think colleges , I don't know . I don't know that colleges allow kids that young to stay in a dorm . Ok , yeah , because even at 17 , if you move into college at 17 , you can move in . I did Right , but you're technically still a minor . Ok , but I'm going to stop sharing but keep going . But yeah , I mean , that's a tough one .
I think I would . I would have to know this kid . You know , I would have to know this kid and I will . I will tell you this I would have to talk with my kid about the off ramp , because here's , here's one thing .
Oh , I see what you're saying . Here's one thing that I think kids don't understand .
Kids don't understand that all good things come to an end . This must end at some point . At one day you might be the best in the world , but one day you're not going to be anymore or you're not going to be able to do this thing anymore , and I think kids don't understand that . Right ? Kids think in perpetuity .
Yeah you know , I think what I get concerned about is disappointment . Right ? How do they handle disappointment , particularly at this age ? Right ? Right , do they look at it as devastating , mainly because not just a he may not have qualified , but he didn't qualify in front of everybody , like you , you know , when we was running in high school .
Or you know college , like you know . There's just you have . They don't know who you are , right , but this is something that people are everybody's watching and fame is abnormal . Yeah , I agree with you there , right ?
Fame is abnormal . Most people are anonymous . That's a lot of pressure for him . It's a lot of pressure , and so I think his coach kept him grounded . I think I hope so . His parents , his parents , kept . I hope so .
But I think that that's a discussion to have with children who are so advanced in , you know , one particular area , to say , like you know , this might come to an end at some point , or to understand that this is not the defining thing , like this doesn't define you .
I forgot which child actor there was a child actor I was watching something and they asked him oh God , who was it ? They asked him a question about being a child actor and then becoming an adult and his career not really taking off after that . And he said , god , I wish I remember who this was .
But he said you know , I remember being a child actor and I remember everybody . Just like man , this kid is so cute , this kid is so this , this kid like he would just get so many compliments . And then it stopped . It all stopped . Whatever show that he was on , he wasn't on anymore . The show wasn't on anymore .
How did he handle it ?
Or whatever . He didn't go . He didn't really go into that , okay , but the thing that he said that stuck out to me was he was like man . What happened ? Does nobody think I'm cute anymore , does nobody think I'm good anymore , does nobody think I'm worthy anymore ?
And so that to me it spoke volumes , because for me I was like he was getting validation from outside , from people he didn't even know , from people who didn't care anything about him except that he was on a show that would make them money . That's where he was getting his validation or from people just walking by yeah , people he didn't know going screaming .
Yeah right , people just seeing him and I love your show and it's like , but you don't know me , you don't know me , you love my character well , that's the character on the show .
That was his personality back . That was what he thought about later on , but not Well , that's what he was .
That's what he said when he was going through it . Really , he felt he felt almost like a loss , right , like he just he lost himself , like what happened to me , right , because this is me , I you know , when you are so young and you are experiencing something , right . This is why it's important that I'm going to veer off into .
It's a tangent , but I think it's a poignant one .
And keep it short .
I'm going to keep it short . So there was a post .
There was a post that someone , this woman , this Indian woman actually , she had posted a reel and it was about her being in an orphanage and then being adopted Right and how you know , she's just so grateful to her parents , you know , for doing X , y and Z for taking care of her and blah , blah , blah , and now she's so successful .
One of the comments was why would your parents ever tell you that you're adopted , like why ?
Why would they ever tell you that ? I definitely would tell my kids , right ? I think that's a big mistake , exactly Because they're going to find out .
So not only are they going to find out , but it's not even about finding out . It's about knowing who you are very early in life and understanding that this is just a part of your story . This is who you are .
Oh , that's the right , that's the best , that is , my wife is always responsible with that . I need to know , like the health history and shit , and they need to know all this stuff , I'm just talking about like having the kids hate your gut .
No , I'm not talking about health history . That's not what I'm talking about . What are you talking about , like having the kids hate your guts ? No , I'm not talking about health history .
That's not what I'm talking about . What are you ?
talking about ? No , I'm talking about having a child understand who they are Like , understanding that we understand our stories from a very young age right . When kids find out things about themselves when they are much , much older , or they find out things about their family that they didn't know much , much older , it is very devastating .
It's extremely , extremely devastating . So I bring that back to the point of when you are very young and you're building your story . If you are a child actor and acting is part of that story and everybody's like you know , adulations and this , that and the other you actually take on . that persona of this is who I am .
I am someone that is loved by everyone . So when you , when that stops , it's like okay , well , who am I now ? Like things like that , so anyway .
Hey , Quincy , Yo , excellent job . You did great . You got a great coach . I saw the post interview of when he finished saying that , because he went to the same high school as you . That too , but he did a great interview .
If I had a child prodigy I would want him to see , because the things that he said publicly about Quincy was very like grounded in Listen . He lost , but he lost in front of all these different people . Let's just make sure he's all right . He wants to get his driver's license . Let's get his driver's license .
People are asking questions about getting a going pro and all that stuff .
You know I mean she all right ?
man Obie .
Darko says does Dr Renee have a degree in child psychology ?
She thinks she does , she thinks she does .
I almost minored in psychology in college , I think I was . I think all I had to do was declare the minor , but I never declared it . Well , listen .
but what you do , the point that you did say or that you mentioned , that's a really good point . What you mentioned , I'm just going to say shout out to you , quincy , that was a huge deal that you did .
Yeah .
And keep up the great work .
That was amazing .
Amazing . Keep up the great work . And if you decide to , you know , chill out for a little bit , that's fine , because the hard part is going to be what happens junior year , what happens senior year . That's where even more pressure comes in and stuff . But you know , take it day by day and you got a great coach
¶ Dr Blue and Self-Identity Challenges
. And Dr Blue , Dr Blue . I was going to say , isn't that your friend ? Yeah , that's Dr Blue man . Dr Blue says I agree with that comment . Changing your self identity at an older age can be very difficult . So he agrees with your point so it's tough . It's tough man . So , dr Blue , I hope you be listening to our podcast and I hope you signed up to .
You know , subscribe to us on YouTube also , man and Dr Blue , call me , man , call me , call me , call me . But listen , we've been going long enough , long , long , long long In this hot-ass basement . You talk a lot Yo , it is hot here . I talk a lot . Hey , yo , you over here thinking you . What do you call it ? Listen , dsm-9 and shit .
I had things to say . See , when you a kid and stuff , you know what I'm saying .
You got to worry all that stuff , man , when you brought up Dr Russell Lede and all this psychology , psychiatrist stuff , you know , I just felt it hey y'all .
We'll catch you guys on a future episode of Docs Outside the Box . Make sure you guys check out episode 416 with Dr Russell Lede and let us know if you really like these lives . We'll do more of it , all right , we'll .