What Exactly Is An Intervention?

to be real clear about what this podcast is intended for it is intended for entertainment and informational purposes but not considered help if you actually need real help and you're in need of help please seek that out if you're in dire need of help you can go to your nearest emergency room or you can check into a rehab center or call a counselor like me and talk about your problems and work through them but don't rely on a podcast to be that form of help it's not it's just a podcast It's for

entertainment and information only. So let's keep it in that light, alright? Have a good time, learn something, and then get the real help that you need from a professional. Why in the world would anyone want to confront an addict, or why would an addict want to be confronted about their addiction to help get them into treatment? That's a question that I get asked a lot because I get people that will contact me, loved ones who have an addict in their presence and they struggle.

And the concern of the loved ones about that addict and what do we do with them? What do we do with her? We can't get her to stop. She's self-destructing, whatever. And so... The problem with trying to get somebody into treatment is that they don't want to get into treatment. So that's a premise that I talk about all the time is that addicts don't want to get clean or sober when they're at their worst.

They don't because that's their primary coping mechanism and they're not going to give that up. So what do we do with somebody who doesn't want to get clean or sober? We've got to force them into it. You've got to lead the horse to the water. but the horse doesn't necessarily want to take a drink of the water. So it becomes problematic for both the addict and the family, or the loved ones, because nobody really knows what to do.

So they just keep with the enmeshed enabling behaviors that eventually leads to disastrous results, either somebody ending up in jail or prison, or they're all attending a funeral. And it's all in an attempt to prevent them from having to suffer. So the enabling stuff just, you know, and it's enabling and manipulation on both sides, not just the addict, not just the family.

Both sides engage in it, and it's this horrible cycle that just can't be broken unless there's some monumentally, significantly impactful move that somebody makes. Sometimes the intervention is done by the police, right? when they show up and arrest the person, uh, and, and it forces that individual into treatment.

And if you're an addict, I mean, the last thing you want to see is Johnny law coming down your street or pulling your car over when you know you're holding or you're high, you know, that's, that's a horrible feeling. It's, it's just, this creates this pit in your stomach that is unlike any other because you know, you're caught and you know, you're going to jail.

Um, But if you're the family of a loved one that has an addiction problem, the worst thing you want to – your worst nightmare is that you're going to get a knock on the door by the police because you know what that means. Severe hospitalization or the person is dead. So it becomes this horrible – vicious cycle. So why would you do an intervention? And what in the world is an intervention anyway? There are lots of different forms of it. I've seen good, bad, and the ugly in the intervention world.

There are those who show up with two big burly dudes in tow. And they get confronted, and these two big burly dudes are going to make sure that you get in the vehicle to go to the rehab, and that's a really scary proposition. I've had people describe that to me. I've seen it. It ain't pretty and not advisable.

I've seen the slicky salesperson-type approach with the slicky... interventionist who shows up all you know in their expensive car and polished and you know it's like they they treat it like some kind of a corporate transaction and uh you know they're there to sell the person on rehab and uh they usually charge a boatload of money 10 grand or more to get that person into rehab i've seen that that's not so good then i've seen the The feeble attempt of the person who is going to try to approach

everybody with love and care, but they become so soft that the addict who is a master manipulator and the enabling loved one, there's usually one, maybe sometimes more involved, that usually just easily manipulates the whole situation around that person who really just, good intention, but just way too soft. And then the person who's doing the intervention, the interventionist, ends up getting manipulated as well. And the whole thing falls apart.

So let me just describe an intervention, first of all. Let's just talk about that.

So an intervention is something where you are intervening in that person's daily routine in their life to try to stop the use of of the drug and get them into treatment right your intervention you're intervening between the drug of choice and the person by putting them in some kind of a safe physical location where they can rest and try to recover you know that's the idea but what an intervention really is just getting that person to move towards recovery and you're intervening in the process of

destruction that's the word intervention right so When somebody's doing an intervention, what they're doing is they're attempting to help that family, usually, but sometimes it can be friends, to try to stop the person from self-destructing. From an addict's point of view, an intervention is an unwanted intrusion on your life. Screw you. Leave me alone. I'm fine. I just want to be left alone. There was a TV show that was on the air for a long time on A&E for years called Intervention.

You could probably still see it somewhere. I'm not sure. It might still be on the air. I don't watch it because it's what I do for a profession, so that's not entertainment to me. I saw a few episodes, and it was a great depiction of what an intervention really is like. It's a very emotionally charged situation for both the family and the addict. It's gut-wrenching. I do them, and I've had a great success with my approach, but it may differ from others. I'm sure it does.

But getting the addict into some form of residential treatment is the goal, right? But you have to understand, addicts, families, you must understand that residential treatment is not the cure and you could go to residential treatment a number of times before you start moving into the direction of recovery. The residential treatment programs are meant for you to get your brain cleared enough so that you can understand that what you have is a problem and the problem is addiction.

Addiction has become your frenemy and that's it. You're not going to get into In long-term residential treatment, I knew one guy who was in residential treatment for a year. And a week after he got out, he relapsed on heroin. The length of time isn't it. And rehab, residential treatment, is simply that.

It's just a chance for your body and your brain to be clear of the drug of choice long enough for you to start to overcome the brain damage that you've suffered that's causing you to think that you're not an addict. And it's not a problem. So one time may work. It may take another time. It may take another time. It may take five times. Uh, Steven Tyler, my favorite rock and roll singer. I think he's been to rehab. I think a total of 42 or 47 times now.

Uh, he just checks himself in cause he knows he's at risk and he's about to, uh, to relapse. That's awesome. I guess if you've got the money and the time, most of us don't, but, uh, Hey, good for him. Um, uh, And so an intervention is the process of trying to convince not only the addict, but the family of the addict that, hey, you know what? Things have got to change and we're going to do that. So when people who are addicts, sometimes they feel ambushed.

My experience in all of the interventions I've done, I've only had that experience. happened one time where the person felt like they were being ambushed. Only once. The rest of the time, they're being surrounded with love.

And as soon as they walk in and they see everybody who loves them sitting there waiting for them so they can talk to them and confront the addiction with the addict, not confront the addict but confront the addiction with the addict the love just overcomes everything and and that's you know for me as an as an inter somebody who does interventions i i really feel strongly that the need for love as the primary driver for that action of intervening in your drug addiction and your your alcoholism or

whatever's killing you is really really the it's the special sauce of of uh getting getting you moving that direction So an intervention is a gathering of people who care and love you. It's not something the family leads. You absolutely need a professional to do an intervention for you. I have never seen a successful intervention being performed by a family that was able to pull off getting the person into recovery, into residential treatment. I've never seen it. I'm sure it happens.

I have not seen it. I usually get the call. One of my colleagues described it as immediately it's a fire drill. I get the call because it's a fire drill. And so when that call comes and... You know, it's like urgent, urgent, urgent. The person has been an addict for 15 years or 10 years or five years and they've overdosed, you know, a number of times.

But suddenly right now is the important time because there's some event that has occurred or somebody's gotten their panties in a wad about something. And, you know, it's right now, right now, right now. And that just never works. You got to slow down a little bit because you got to think about what you're doing. And so the professional that you employ to guide you through this process is the one who knows what they're doing. The families don't.

Everything they've done at that point has been a disaster and a failure. So I don't know why they think collectively they're going to be able to gather and present that failed thinking and behaviors as a group that somehow is going to become successful when it won't. It won't because your approach is all wrong. Yeah. It's usually a lot of anger and resentment. There's always somebody that's an enabler. And a lot of times they will tip off the addict that, hey, I don't think you should...

They're planning an intervention. You should stay away from them. And it's like, good God, what are you doing? This person is... They're dying and you're forewarning somebody who's trying to help. It just doesn't make any sense. Anyway, I'm going to stay away from that topic. But... It's a gathering of people that in a compassionate, loving, caring way surrounds the addict with the idea that we love you, we want you, and we want you back sane, stable, and sober, but you need help.

So please take the help. And that's kind of what it comes down to. And there's a methodology I use that gets there. My methodology has been very successful. I've only had one person not go to residential treatment in all the interventions I've done, only one. And I don't know if that person eventually did go. I lost touch with them after a while. Hopefully, he did.

It was a gentleman who had a child and he had sole custody of the child, but he had turned childcare responsibilities over to his mother. sadly, who accommodated that so that he could be an alcoholic. It's just, it's heartbreaking for that child. And I hope that that did change. That kid would probably be in high school now. He was like six at the time. So that was probably 10 years ago. Anyway, so the intervention is done with compassion, not anger.

It's, it's aggressively and assertively confronting addiction, not, not the person who's the addict, but the addiction they suffer from. And the reason for doing it is because they have become so destructive and dysregulated that they just can't function normally. They can't think normally. Their distorted thinking has led them to just disastrous actions and behaviors and consequences. So an intervention is something that is well planned out. It's well scripted. It's not led by a family member.

It's led by a practitioner. My analogy is it's kind of like a conductor of an orchestra. You've got these expert musicians who collectively have gathered to play music, but the conductor is the one that chooses how that music is going to be played, how it's sounding. Right? It's like a painter. Paint is paint. A brush is a brush. A canvas is a canvas. But the painter actually applies the paint to the canvas and every painter has the canvas looking differently. And that's what a conductor does.

Takes the same piece of music and he makes it sound different and like his own. So he does that by putting his own emphasis in areas that are important to him or he feels that are unique and special that make it work well.

So you can hear the same piece of music performed in an orchestra by two different orchestras or sometimes even the same orchestra but a different conductor and it'll sound completely different the melody is the same but the sound is different as opposed to the the melody line and that's the way it is with interventions so each one is kind of unique because everybody's circumstance is different i've done them where i've had to just confront the person on the street literally as they're coming

out of jail without a family member and just move them towards recovery and said, hey, I'm here to take you, let's go. And they agree. I've had others where there have been a gathering of as many as 12 or 13 friends who are confronting an individual. I've had just a select few members of a family, two or three. I've had six or eight. It's just all over the place. And the drug of choice and that person's age and background plays into it, the addict. So what will convince them?

But see, the advantage of having the professional lead this is that the professional who, you got to find somebody who actually is a professional and is somebody who has experience in recovery It's very helpful, if not necessary, but at a minimum, very helpful. And also is a clinician, because you've got to be able to understand how people think and behave towards patients. the addict from the family side.

So the enablers, the passive people, the passive aggressive people, the supporters, the overzealous, the overly emotional. You know, if somebody themselves is an addict, you can't, it's difficult when an addict is confronting an addict and neither one of them is in recovery. That can be disastrous.

So the clinician has to be able to determine, hey, who's appropriate to be in the room and who shouldn't be there and exclude them and then try to protect the secrecy of it or the surprise of it because the effectiveness is in the surprise in the confronting of the addiction. And if somebody knows there's going to be an intervention, usually that's not a good thing. a good place to be because they are expecting something to happen and they've already come up with why they're not going to go.

I'm not going to go because, you know, so that's not a good thing. So you want to get to the, you know, be able to have the professional kind of talk to each person. and understand and figure out how to orchestrate this thing. And families that, I have the experience of a family will call me and it's the fire drill and I try to get them to calm down and slow down and they don't, they sort of do it, they sort of don't and I consult with them They want to employ me to do it.

And then immediately, somebody in the family says, we don't need to use this person. We can do this ourselves. And if that voice is a leader in the family or the friends, I am no longer employed. And then I'll get a call. I'll say, look, just let me know if things work out. If you guys don't want to use me, okay, fine. And I'll get a call, and the person never went.

because one or two of the elders in the family thought just the power of authority could move them that direction, not realizing that the power of authority a lot of times is what the addict is rebelling against to begin with. So it's just as disastrous. And Then the professional also should provide support after the fact. At least I do. I know there are some people that don't. They just come in. They swoop in with the two dudes. You're going. In the car they go. On the plane. In the rehab.

Next client. And there's no follow-up. There's no follow-up with trying to ask support through the FMLA or the short-term disability or the aftercare, trying to follow through to make sure that they're doing aftercare and so on and so on. Those are the things I do. I think it's vitally important because we're saving lives here. We're not making money. We're saving lives. If you do it because you're making money, then you've lost sight of what you should be focused on, which is saving lives.

Now, it's not a free service, obviously, but... The whole point is to save a life. And so, you know, the formulaic commercial interventionist who's all slicky boy polished or slicky girl polished and whatever, you know, effective. Yeah, I got him in. But then once they went in, they just went on to the next person and that was the end of it. And that person discharged from treatment and then they just probably relapsed. Because there's no follow through with aftercare.

Slippery, slippery, slippery, slippery. Getting their sneaky on. That's what addicts do. They're getting their sneaky on. Slippery, slippery. And you can't let them slip through the cracks. You know, 30 days is a long time for somebody to not use. But in reality, not a very long time to not be using. especially if they've been using for five years, 30 days is nothing. Uh, sometimes I let jail be the intervention.

Um, I actually like it when somebody gets, gets, uh, popped and they, they go to jail because they can't use in jail and it's a wake up call. And yeah, it's sucks being in jail. I've sat in jail. It's, it's not, it's, it's horrible. Um, But when you are getting popped and you've got to go before the judge, then the fire drill really begins for the family a lot of times because what they want to do is get them out of jail. Oh, that's terrible. They should not be there.

And I'm like, no, let them sit and marinate in jail because at least you don't have to start chasing them around. And it makes my job sometimes very easy as an interventionist to go in and say, look, go to rehab. It's better than jail. And an alternative of jail or rehab, that really actually, that gives them a chance to really park their butt in a chair and listen and understand that they have addiction. Because guess what?

If it's jail or rehab and the person goes to rehab and they walk out, they get reported, then they go to jail. So it's a forced rehab situation. Ah, yeah. And they may not be responding well because of that. But at least they're in the presence of people that can help them as opposed to just out on the street. And if they're in the presence of people that can help them, there is the greatest chance possible that they will then get the help.

So if you are a family and you are dealing with an addict and you're confronted with jail or rehab and the decision-making process is hinging on a court case, that is going to happen in a week, let them sit in jail. Don't bail them out. Please. Please do not bail them out. It's not worth it. If they are out of control and crazy, that's the best place they can be. They're safe. They're not going to be overdosing in jail.

So I'm pleading with you to please let them sit there for a few days and let them get it. If, however, on the other hand, it's like a first-time offense or something and it's minor, and they're not really dysregulated and out of control, you know, okay, we want to get them out. Then we can do the intervention and get them into rehab. Here's an interesting thing.

I have not experienced a judge that is willing to send police officers from the sheriff's department out to a rehab to to handcuff somebody in rehab to pull them out, to put them in jail. Now, I am sure that in this country, in the United States, that is a possibility. In other countries, and I know I've got listeners in Germany and South Africa and Australia and in England and Germany. Did I say Germany? I already said Germany. The laws in those countries, I don't know.

I wish I could speak to that, but I can't. And maybe if somebody can give me some information on that and wants to send me, reach out to me through email and let me know, hey, what's your experience in those countries? I'd love to hear that because I really would like to be able to address that and try to figure out strategies that work in your country. So if you're in Germany or England or Australia, or South Africa, and you want to send a message out to me, hey, let's talk about that.

And if you want to come on and talk about your experience, if you've had those experiences with the legal systems and your recovery and how is it supported or hindered by the legal system, I'd love to explore that with you. So if you can reach out to me, please do. You can reach me through my website, wellspringmindbody.com, wellspringmindbody. Body.com. And I'd love to talk to you. In any case, so to get back to it, is an intervention necessary? I think it is absolutely necessary.

I wish people would do more interventions because it helps save lives. And your family and your friends have been trying to help you if you're an addict and you have not been successful in getting into treatment because you're resistant.

So maybe if you feel the love, you're feeling in that room at that at that moment when you're being confronted and by the way everybody i've done an intervention with totally breaks down it is it is such a a moving incredible scene watching somebody who is an addict who really desperately wanted help but just could not because of their false arrogance caused by addiction and pride not allow them to do it and so to see them get to that emotional state is just awesome.

For me, it's very moving too because I feel like I've really helped somebody when I get them to that point. However, if you didn't do the intervention, your chance of getting that person into rehab, if you've been trying for a while and you feel like, oh, we'll gather and do it in force, you're not going to be successful. You're just not, sadly. So let a professional help you. Somebody like me. You can reach out to me. I'll help you.

But just let a professional who knows how to get people into rehab help you. You don't need to do it by yourself. And if you're an addict and you feel like you're getting ambushed and attacked, trust me, you are not getting ambushed and attacked at all. You're really not. What you're doing is you're seeing the people that love you and care about you try to reach you and help you. And it is that love and that compassion that really is going to save your life. So get a professional.

Get some professional help when it comes to getting someone into rehab and then helping them, support them in their efforts in aftercare because you got to let the love show. And that love is going to have to linger for years, you know, because it is two years before you can really call yourself either clean or sober because you've gone through enough recovery to get to that point. So don't be afraid of doing an intervention.

Just make sure you're doing it the right way with a compassionate confront confronting the addiction, but not being confrontational, but compassionate confrontation. compassionate confronting of the issue is where you need to be. I hope this has helped you understand interventions. If you have more questions, please reach out to me, but I think it's the best step you can take.

that's it for this episode of Doc Shock your addiction lifeguard I am here to help rescue and save you from your addiction and if you are a family of a loved one who needs help you can reach out to me through my website wellspringmindbody.com and I will help you and if you are an addict please get the help that you need go to rehab go see a counselor go to a meeting go to the rooms don't be afraid don't be shy Raise your hand and say, hey, man, I need some help.

And I hope that you do get that help. If you have any questions for me, please reach out to me. But I have enjoyed doing this podcast today for you, my faithful listeners, here on the Doc Shock, your addiction lifeguard podcast. Thanks for listening. Catch you next time.