The Prodigal Child

to be real clear about what this podcast is intended for it is intended for entertainment and informational purposes but not considered help if you actually need real help and you're in need of help please seek that out if you're in dire need of help you can go to your nearest emergency room or you can check into a rehab center or call a counselor like me and talk about your problems and work through them but don't rely on a podcast to be that form of help it's not it's just a podcast it's for

entertainment and information only so let's keep it in that light all right have a good time learn something and then get the real help that you need from a professional When you are an addict, you are very destructive and you are destructive, especially with the people around you. Those who you love the most are the ones usually that you've done the most damage to in your addiction. And we struggle in our recovery with understanding how do we make things right or how do we make them better?

And I wanted to talk to those of you who are feeling like you are lost and you cannot return because you have destroyed one too many things or maybe damaged the people around you too much and they won't accept you. So today's topic is the prodigal, the prodigal child. And it could be a son or it could be a daughter.

The story of the prodigal son is comes from a trilogy of stories in the book of Luke and they are the story of the lost sheep the story of the lost coin and the story of the lost son I'm going to focus particularly on the story of the lost son because I think that's a particularly telling direct kind of relatable story to those who are suffering from addiction and trying to work their way back through recovery And in the previous podcast, I've kind of led up to this with an understanding or

helping you understand, you know, what you need to do to get to the point of recovery. But I think it's best if we take a pause from those steps, you know, doing the step work to really understand how can we embrace recovery when we've done that damage. So I wanted to talk to you about the story of the prodigal son. And So I think the only way we can really do that is if you really understand the story of the prodigal son as it's written. It's a biblical story. It's a parable within the Bible.

But Jesus told that story to his followers and to the Pharisees, the rabbis, one day as a way to explain how to turn towards an accepting, loving father figure, God. So let me tell the story as I have read many different versions of it in various versions of the Bible, depending on which one you're looking at, the message or the New Testament. Whatever version of the New Testament you're reading, I mean, it's going to be worded differently, but here's the story.

So Jesus is talking to the disciples and to the Pharisees, and he's telling them the story of two sons who live on a farm that is owned by by their father. And the two sons have been given an inheritance that they can have. And typically in the Middle East, it would have been given to them when they are venturing out into the world to go find a bride and to establish themselves in the community as contributing members of that society. So they find ways to...

And so these two sons are working on this land that their father owns, and they are finding ways to help him. And that's kind of what you did at the time was you had sons and daughters, and they were the help for you so that you could continue to expand and grow your business. Your family's life. And so anyway, so these two sons, they have this money that's going to be allotted to them if they so choose. It's their inheritance to move out and move on if they choose.

And so one of the sons, the younger son, he goes to his father and he wants the money now. And so he wants that money because he wants to. He's a womanizer. And he drinks and he wants to go out into the world and use that money to do those things. And so he tells his father, I want that money. And his father reluctantly but thoughtfully gives it to him. And knowing that his son is probably going to waste it, but he gives it to him anyway.

And soon after getting the money, the son gets the brilliant idea that he's going to go out and use that money to drink and chase women around and and that's going to be his life. And so when he does that, he disappears from his father's land, and he's gone for a considerable amount of time. Jesus doesn't really elaborate, but I would assume that it was probably a year or two, maybe longer.

The older son stays on the land and helps his father raise the sheep and the pigs and grow the food for the family. And that son goes out, and he does... what people do when they are being destructive and they are being, you know, crazy addicts, if you will. So he's out drinking, he's visiting prostitutes, and he's living his life.

And of course, as everyone does who lives like that, and if you're listening to this, you know exactly what I'm talking about because you've done it, he loses everything. And now he's completely destitute. He has no money. He has nowhere to live. He has nothing. He's spent everything he has. And he's not working, so he's out of luck. So he returns back to his little village town area. And in that attempt to come back, he never actually makes it to his father's property.

But he ends up making it to his father's neighbor's property. Where they offer him... The ability to be basically a little better than a slave. So in seeing that and in doing that, he's able to get to that land and watch his father. And he's watching as he's living in the most horrific condition he can possibly live, most likely.

And he's slopping the hogs and he's feeding himself basically from what he could get from... the food the leftover scraps of food and garbage that they're giving to the pigs and he's looking over his father's property and he notices that his father's servants who he's hired over time are actually living better than he is they're eating three meals a day they have a place to live they have a roof over their head they're not sleeping in a barn and they are in fact actually living quite well

compared to what he is And now he feels ashamed and embarrassed and upset at his stupidity. And in terms of recovery, that would be that point where you can't take it anymore and you've changed. You've given up whatever it is you were pursuing. Your drug of choice or whatever it is you're doing that's destructive and you've given it up. So he goes to his father and he goes to his father to apologize. He doesn't go to him for acceptance.

He goes thinking he's going to be rejected, but he wants to apologize for bringing shame to himself and to his father and to his family. And he wants to explain to his father that he actually understands what he's done and how much he's lost and how wrong he was. So he goes to his father and he tells him, I am sorry for doing that and I've sinned and I've lived a horrible life and I'm embarrassed and shamed about that.

And his father's reaction to it is to accept him with open arms and to embrace him in that moment when he has actually saying that he has failed. And this is the opposite of what this man thought he would receive from his father. So his father actually goes the opposite direction, not only accepts him, but embraces him and wants him to understand that it is okay. It's okay that he's experienced that and that he loves him and he forgives him for it. He has a party for him.

Now, his older brother is very upset about this because his older brother has been there the whole time, working the land and living with his father and being responsible. And he gets upset that his brother is being celebrated for his folly and his failure. And he tells his father that. And his father tells the older brother that, you know, it is not that I'm not seeing you and I don't care about you. I do. But you did the right thing. So you are to be commended for that.

But he went out and just tried to destroy himself. And now he's learned his lesson and he understands. We should embrace that because that's actually a good thing. He is essentially telling him that he's been the lost sheep and his father now has been waiting for him. Now, the way I interpret that story and through the lens of recovery is a little bit different because what I noticed about that story is that the father does not chase his son.

He does not go after his son when his son decides he wants to leave and live this life of depravity and debauchery and destruction. He lets him do it. He actually facilitates it. He gives him the money so that he can go out and do these horrible things and live that life, which I find quite interesting. He didn't say, no, I can't, and tries everything he can to stop him. He actually gives him the money and the means to do it and then lets him go and waits. That's the key thing.

He lets him go, but he waits. He stays stationary. He stays at home. He stays on the land that he has purchased and he owns. And he continues to live that life and work that farm. And when his son comes back, that's when he embraces him. Interesting that that's how it transpires. He waits for him to destroy himself again. And waits for him to return to then embrace him. And I believe if we think about this in logical ways. That is actually the best way to do it.

Because experience teaches us our lessons. And we can't take experience and stick it in somebody else's head. They have to have that experience. That's how they learn. So when he comes back and he does this. He then... is accepting of that forgiveness, and then he lives his life.

And Jesus was telling that story, and hopefully people could noodle it through and realize that there is a loving father figure that can accept you if you are willing to be truthful, honest, and open about your mistakes. And that's the part that many times is missing, is that openness and that honesty.

And so in recovery, If you have addiction and you're going out and destroying yourself, one of the things that people really, really struggle with and plagues them for a long period of time, a long time, and I spend many hours with people trying to work through this issue with them, is the one of I have recovered, but I can't forgive myself and I can't accept forgiveness from other people for the things that I did. And that is where your recovery gets hung up. Are you worthy of that forgiveness?

Can you accept that forgiveness? Is it possible? And I say, yes, it is. However, you have to understand that there's somebody or something that you have to make that offering of that acceptance that you're saying that you've accepted the fact that you've done this destruction. There has to be something for you to say that to somebody or a being And if not, then you're going to really struggle. You also have to be able to understand it through someone else's eyes.

And so that forgiving father, that forgiving parent, the mother, the father, whoever it is that's forgiving you, that is where you need to cement the idea that you are worthy of forgiveness. And it's very healing. It can be very healing. So if you're an addict and you have done some horrible things, as all addicts have done, then you understand that you are the prodigal and you can return and you can in your recovery, honest, sincere, genuine recovery, you can go back.

And if you are the parent of the prodigal and you are not there to receive that message or you refuse that message, the damage you're going to do as that parents who should be forgiving is immense but if it's not possible because as an addict you don't have a parent your parent has died or both parents have died or they just refused to talk to you or whatever it is you still have to get to that point where you can live with the idea that you have been forgiven and in the case of someone who has

faith it would be forgiven through the the grace of God So the prodigal returns. The prodigal doesn't get chased. The prodigal doesn't run into the forgiving father because he's hunted him down because then the prodigal is not going to be sincere and genuine in their messaging because they haven't learned anything. And this is what happens when an enabling parent keeps enabling the prodigal. You just continually enable the prodigal.

See, in the story, in the parable, the father who was enabling, he was only enabling once, and he was enabling once to say, you have the ability to make decisions, and you're going to make that decision. Okay, make that decision. And then that's it. It stops. The activity and the words from the father or the mother of the prodigal, it ends with that. And you sit and wait.

And it's the most painful thing and difficult thing you can do is watching the prodigal child go out and destroy themselves on purpose. But yet there it is. So what do you do when you're the prodigal? Well, you do a lot of destruction. You go out and you spend your inheritance. You spend your money. Maybe you go out and do some really horrible things. And it doesn't matter. Because when you come back, if you are the prodigal and you do return...

You can be and will be accepted with open arms and embraced. So the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost son, all three of the trilogy of those stories, all were about one thing. What has been lost and then has been found. And God wants you to be found. He does not want you to be lost. So make that change. Make that turn. Make that change. And make it when you can. When you realize, this is not what I want. Many of my clients say the same thing.

They get to the point where they just can't take it anymore. They wake up and they're like, I can't continue doing this. I don't know how many books I've read with people who were in recovery where that has been that epiphany, that moment where they can't do this anymore. They don't know what to do. They don't know how to fix it. The prodigal son, he ended up becoming an indentured servant, basically, and eating garbage for an unknown amount of time.

In the parable within the Bible, it doesn't really say, but I would imagine it was for quite a while. He lost everything. That's where he had to go. And so when you find yourself at that point where you know that you can't do this anymore, what you've been doing, this, I can't do this anymore, and you don't know where to go with it, that's fine. That's okay. The prodigal didn't know either. All the prodigal knew was he just wanted to be heard and understood that he had changed.

He wasn't necessarily looking for acceptance. He was looking for understanding. So you may not know where to go. You may not know how to do it. You may not know what, you know, you just don't like the way you feel. I can't live like this. And the prodigal son was doing that every day. He'd wake up and he'd be living this horrible life eating garbage. And that didn't feel good. But he knew it was because of his own doing. And that's all he needed to know was it's because of my own doing.

And so from that, he moves on and is accepted. You can do it too. It's not that hard to do, so don't give up trying. If you are the prodigal, maybe you've got more suffering to go through. Maybe your arrogance is still plaguing you, as it does in addiction. Arrogance is a horrible thing. It's a terrible thing. It's the thing that keeps driving you further and further into your addiction. But maybe your arrogance has just taken you over. Maybe it has, temporarily.

If you're still alive, there's still hope. So finding ways to enter back into society, back into your family, if you can. Some of us have parents who just aren't there. They don't care. They're disconnected. They're crazy. They're unavailable. They're destructive themselves. And you can't have that relationship. There are people who have parents that are like that.

Those who have parents who are accepting and want to be there for them, it's always a treacherous path to get back into that relationship with them, if you can. But it's very healing. And if you've heard healing words of I'm proud of you or I'm so glad that you've learned this and I'm glad that you're now understanding that and I will encourage you in your recovery and encourage you in your path towards getting back to a normal living, normal life.

If you have the ability to get that from someone, from a parental figure, great. If not, you can always turn To another source. It could be a family friend. It could be a more distant relative. A grandparent. In my case, it was my grandparents that did that. And it was very healing. If not, just somebody that you respect. And you can also turn to God. Who is a loving God. Who wants to accept and embrace you. The prodigal.

So let's learn from this story that Jesus told us many, many years ago, but it's still applicable today. It's really interesting how much of scripture is still applicable today as if it was just written. Finding ways to reconnect and to return in your recovery because you know what? Living in a destructive cycle is maddening and frustrating. And those of us who have done it and felt trapped, you're only trapped if you don't look for a way out. And there's always a way out.

And so just like the prodigal, you can return and you will be embraced with open arms if you're sincere and honest in your recovery. That's the lesson for today. about the prodigal child. Bis später, for those in Deutschland, and goodbye for now. This has been Doc Jacques, your addiction lifeguard. If you're in need of help or you have questions for me, please reach out to me. You can reach me through my website, wellspringmindbody.com, or you can call me on the phone. Send me an email. See ya.

See ya.