The Fire Inside

And they are located in a small town, and so because of that, there's a lot of sense of community. And they build on that community to really help you integrate back into a living a life that's sober and drug free. So if you're looking for a good treatment center, Bridging the Gaps may be the one for you. They have a rigorous and individualized brand of treatment.

At Bridging the Gaps they recognize that each person and the circumstances and experiences and underlying issues that inform their addiction is unique. And that philosophical approach dovetails with mine. And that treatment approach that is focused on trauma and the causes of addiction is really where sobriety happens. So give them a call.

540-306-5416 or you can find them online at bridgingthegaps.com Alright, so you know I was driving to work today and I saw a truck, a pickup truck sitting on the side of the road and it was a brand new truck and it was on fire. The dude was standing next to his truck and flames were, something was burning in the engine compartment and it was dripping down onto the road. He pulled off to the side and it was just burning. It was a mess. That was going to be a total truck for sure.

And I'm sure the guy was really upset. But it really made me think, you know. That's what addiction is. It's like a fire. It burns inside of us. And we're not quite sure how to put it out. Call the fire department! You know. And here they come. Here they come! Ready to put out the fire. Are they going to be able to do it? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. But that's what addiction is like. It's like a fire that's burning.

And what's interesting is the parallels to the understanding of addiction for somebody to understand what addiction is like. It's like there's a fire burning and you're going to put that fire out by... deciding you're going to work on your recovery. And so you work on the recovery and you don't really do a very good job of putting the fire out.

So what I want to talk to you about is like how that concept of fire as it relates to addiction and trying to put out that fire and how to successfully put out that fire. And what happens when you don't put out that fire successfully? What goes on then? What happens? So that's the topic for today.

So just like the guy's car that was burning down and the fire department shows up and they start hitting it with foam or they start hitting it with extinguishers and then they water it down. Well, what are they doing? Well, there's a couple of things. One, when you hit a car with foam or you hit a flame with foam, what you're doing is you're kind of suffocating it. the oxygen out from it. And that's how fire extinguishers work. They suffocate the oxygen away. And it gets rid of the oxygen.

And then, just to make doubly sure, because the oxygen is gone, but as soon as the oxygen is gone, the flame goes out, but the heat doesn't go away. Well, how do you get the heat out there? Well, the heat, that's where water comes in. You put water on a fire, it doesn't get rid of the oxygen. It cools the temperature down. And when you cool the temperature down, then there's no more fire.

So you like the guy's car, you know, they hit it with foam first and they might hit it with water just to make sure that it's completely out because they want to make sure that there's no more heat. Same thing with a wood fire, forest fire, house fire. It doesn't matter. The type of fire doesn't matter. It's just how you put it out. So putting it out is really a matter of getting the flames to go away, but also eliminating the heat. And so this is where I draw the parallel with addiction.

Because addiction is like something that's inside of you, right? It's like it's a thing that's starting to heat up and then it gets to a point where you can't take it anymore. And so then you got to do something to try to get rid of that heat or maybe the flames, right? So the addict, what do they do? They go out and they use a drug of choice.

So when you're trying to get rid of that fire and you just stop the drug of choice, maybe you put the flames out with that, but you're not getting rid of the potential for the fire. And therein lies the problem. What are you trying to do? Get rid of the flames or get rid of the heat? How do you get rid of the fire? Well, you get rid of the heat. If you just get rid of the flames... it's probably going to reignite.

And that's what happens in forest fires and house fires and pretty much every other type of fire. Fire science technology teaches you that you have to put out the heat, not the flame. Because sometimes you can't even see the flame. Race cars, they don't use regular gasoline. They use a different kind of high-octane fuel or jets. Dragsters. They don't use regular fuel. They use a gas that's a very, very fast-burning gas.

And so when a drag car crashes, the thing could be on fire, but you can't even see the flames. Same thing with race cars. You can't see the flame, but you're burning because the flame is actually burning, but you can't see it. So... How do you put out the fire if all you're doing is extinguishing the flames? You can't. So these forest fire jumper guys, they fly in an airplane. Maybe they land. They spread out.

They got their fire-retardant clothing and helmets on, and they've got all kinds of safety equipment and picks and shovels. And what are they doing? How do you put out a forest fire with a shovel?

well you're not but what you are doing is you're trying to get you're trying to get rid of the heat and you're using a shovel to bury the the burning embers you got to look for them you got to look for the hot spots you know okay so we plane flew overhead and it dumped all the fire retardant material on the flames or maybe it was just plain water and it hits but then what are you doing you're running around trying to dig up the embers dig up the hot spots so you can really actually put out the

forest fire And so for me, putting together the combination of like, okay, a fire, if a fire is flames, but it's also heat as a parallel to addiction, addiction using the chemicals is kind of the flame, right? And so if you get rid of the flame, but you don't get rid of the heat, it's probably just going to reignite. So when we try to stop addiction and all we're doing is working on the behavior of usage, it is a fool's errand, right? And you are not going to get sober.

You're not going to get clean because you're not really actually putting out the heat, the problem. The problem is where the heat is. Do you want to put out the flames first? Yeah, yeah, yeah, actually you do. But at the same time, once the flame is gone, you got to start looking for that heat source first. That hotspot, so that thing down inside of you that's causing those problems, that's making you want to use the thing that is uncomfortable, right?

And parallel there with the heat, the heat is uncomfortable because that thing's not supposed to be burning. So you look for those coals, those burning embers, and you want to put those out. So the usage is the coping, that's the flame, and the heat is the actual problem. That's where your addiction is. It's in that heat. So how do you get rid of the heat? Well, it takes longer and maybe it's buried. Maybe it's buried pretty deep.

I've heard stories of forest fires where they've actually gone through and completely extinguished the fire, but they didn't get all the hot spots. And a week later, all of a sudden there's another fire. Where did that come from? Well, it came from the fact that that hotspot was the buried log. It was buried under debris and whatever, and it was coal.

You know, I was listening to a podcast the other day, and they were talking about the Titanic and the different causes of the sinking of the Titanic. I mean, the common knowledge was that it ran into an iceberg and ruptured the ship, and then it had catastrophic failures for various reasons.

But one of the things that they discovered was that the Titanic's a coal-burning... engine uh that that ran it and so you had all these uh there were 12 uh coal ovens that were burning so there were these guys are down there and they're shoveling the coal and the people that they got to work on the titanic were pretty much just because there were so many people that were needed and it was such a new kind of because it was so large um that they were just grabbing anybody and everybody they could

that would work. So you wanted a job, you got a job. And they said, well, can you shovel coal? And you're sure I can. So down to the coal pit you went. So there was actually a fire that was burning in the coal piles that they had. And there were some estimates that it had been burning for three weeks prior to the Titanic taking off. But it was burning...

The coal was burning not in the oven for possibly up to three weeks prior to the actual launching of the ship once they had loaded it up with coal. And so the coal was burning, and when coal burns, it burns slowly, but it can get very, very hot, but it burns very slowly. Um, it's a very efficient, uh, means of creating heat, um, with longevity. And so this coal is burning in this massive pile of coal and they couldn't get it all out, but it was slowly spreading.

So what they were doing was they were shoveling the coal in as fast as they could to try to help contain the fire that was going on. That was apparently massive in the, uh, in the hold, and that they were overfeeding the ovens, which contributed to the heat problem that was going on in the ship, plus the coal itself in the stacks was burning, which was then superheating the metals around it, which made them more brittle.

And they were using cast iron for rivets, and so that was possibly the reason for the failed rivets. Anyway, I digress. It's not about the Titanic, right? So the fire that's burning inside of you gets too much and it flames up. And you try to put out the flames with drugs and alcohol or food or porn, sex, internet, whatever. So you're trying to put out those flames. You put out the flames and you think, ah, job done.

But in actuality, no. Because you really haven't gone to the source of the fire. that burning ember that's inside of you that was caused by trauma, most likely, that really doesn't get addressed. And it's sad because those flames are going to come back and then you're going to try to throw water on those flames with cocaine or alcohol or whatever. And then they're going to go back out again temporarily. And it's this cycle of madness that goes on. And I see it all the time.

All the time with addicts. And I think that's probably why... In addiction... You can jump onto the... The pink cloud... Fairly easily... Because... You think the flames are out... So I'm good now... I got this... Because it's... You know... It's very... That's very uncomfortable... You know... You get near a flame... It hurts right? It's too hot... So... You got the flames out... I'm good... I got it... I got this... When in reality... You don't... And those flames are going to come back...

So... If I were to put an actual effort into something and really throw some resources into it, you know, I kind of look at rehab as kind of being a very lengthy detoxing. You're detoxing your body for the first three to five days from the chemical, yeah, but then you're detoxing your mind from the thoughts of usage, yeah, and then you are detoxing your spirit. But it's really just a detox because you can't do in a 30, 60, 90, 120 day program.

You really can't do the real work that needs to be done, which is to work on those burning embers that you have buried deep inside of you so deeply that they can't be touched. You think. And so that's where I think sobriety is. It's getting rid of that burning ember in your soul.

It doesn't matter if it's happiness or sadness or anger, joy, fear, paranoia, whatever. You know, and it's hard for addicts to identify those feelings. They're happening so rapidly and so out of control that they really have a hard time kind of pinpointing it. That's why talking to them is such a challenge sometimes because they're just all over the place. And there's no point in trying to rationalize with somebody who has addiction. They're irrational people.

But when they have a real issue, that dealing with that pain and anxiety and upset is really difficult. It's masking those emotions. It's making it so they don't really identify them easily. But it's also because they don't understand why they can't act normally. And if you're acting, if you're an addict and you're acting completely irrationally and out of control, you don't like it. People around you don't like it, but you don't like it either.

So trying to figure out how to deal with that is very difficult, especially if you're using depression, anxiety, anxiousness, combativeness, anger, all the emotions associated with trauma, they really do contribute. And that's part of that fire problem. We can feel like something happened right now, today, and boy, did it ignite a fire. But it's really not that. It's that stuff that happened a long time ago that really is why those flames come up so quickly.

When those embers are burning inside of you, And you're feeling like you just can't handle what's going on. You got to work on the reasons why you can't handle it. And it has usually nothing to do with what's going on today. Sometimes it does. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, of course. But the reality is it's about what's going on in your mind and in your soul as to why that feeling of anger, depression, paranoia. And upset and combativeness and everything else that comes with it.

Why did that get sparked up? And why did it get sparked up so easily? And that's why when we encounter addiction in other people, sometimes what we see is we see these completely dysregulated people that don't seem to be able to handle what's going on. And in reality, they can't. But it's not because of what's going on today, usually. There are severe cases, but, you know, it's about... What happened 10 years ago and 20 years ago and when you were 6 and 8 and 12 and 2 and all that stuff.

It kind of sets you up to feeling horrible and depressed. So put out that flame. Get some water. Throw some water on that flame. But you've got to cool the fire. You've got to cool that area down so it won't reignite. Cool those burning embers down. Because you really don't want to have to deal with it over and over and over again.

And trust me, when you believe that the world is a horrible place because of the horrible experiences you had as a child, you're probably never going to beat addiction. And if you try to pretend like it's not there and it doesn't really affect you, you're really not doing that either. You're not fooling anybody. Especially yourself. Because you can feel it. So don't just focus on the flames. Get to that source of the fire. The heat. cool that heat down.

You'll feel better and you'll probably have a much more chance, a higher chance of getting into recovery. Hey, if you're looking for residential treatment of psychosocial spiritual treatment with complementary approaches oriented towards physiological healing and well-being.

Using the most progressive modalities available coupled with traditional 12-step programs, they can help you recover your physical health as well as provide for the psychological and spiritual tools needed for a life free from drug addiction and alcoholism. Give them a call today at 540-306-5944 or you can locate them online at bridgingthegaps.com. So what did we learn today? Wow, we learned about the fire that burns inside of us.

I want to thank you for listening to this podcast, The Fire Inside. You know what? You don't have to be an addict. You don't have to be an addict forever. You certainly don't have to let that addiction kill you. What I'd like to try to do is make your day a little bit easier. Get over your addiction. Let's heal. Let's get sane, stable, and sober. We can do it if we try, but if you don't try, you're never going to get there. It's not a matter of willpower. It's not a failure of willpower.

You suffer from trauma, most likely, and it's trauma that's keeping your addiction alive inside of you So let's start tackling that. Let's work on the trauma. Let's stop focusing on the behavior of addiction and let's start looking at the reasons why we have addiction in the first place. So these podcasts are hopefully going to give you some inspiration, some information, or some direction in your recovery. I enjoy doing them, and I hope you enjoy listening.

If you have any suggestions on topics you'd like to have me cover or guests you'd like to have me bring on board and have a conversation, please let me know. You can reach me through my website, wellspringmindbody.com. And until next time... I hope you have a blessed and sane, stable, sober day. Thanks for listening.