Step 3: Turning Yourself Over To A Higher Power

If you can't do that because you're in a different state, a different country, and it's difficult for you to reach out, you can also just go to a local hospital if you are in need of immediate help. But you can also go to a residential treatment program. There are some really good ones out there, and I can give you some guidance on that as well. You don't need to be suffering from addiction. Get the help that you need. Don't be afraid. Don't be ashamed. Don't be stigmatized. It's just addiction.

But don't let it win. That's the enemy that I can't stand, addiction. So make that call. Don't let addiction win. Don't let it be the thing that takes you out. Remember, it's not how many times you fall down that matters. It's how many times you get back up, and you only have to get up that one last time to defeat addiction. So get help today. On this episode of Dog Shock, I know last episode I talked about step four, the dreaded step four, fearless searching, moral inventory of yourselves.

But this time I thought what I'd like to talk about is step three. Step three. Step three. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. Okay.

I think if we look at the steps and we read it that way, we would understand that what we're doing is we're learning how to read each word because people get hung up on words. And I don't think in the 12 steps, I don't think they get hung up on words. They get hung up on concepts. And that seems to be a real problem. So let's not get hung up on a concept. Let's understand the words, every single word. So we're going to do that.

We're going to take apart step three, like take apart scripture or a legal contract. You read every word. Let's figure out what it means. So with change, there comes this understanding that you need to do something different. Maybe. But change can also be something that's forced on you. It's just a matter of... What is it that was the agent of change? Was it jail? Was it the hospital? Was it your sixth time of dying from an overdose or seventh?

Or a family member saying, I've had it with you, I'm done. Whatever it is, it's like there's a need to change. And like I've said before many, many times, change comes because somebody needs it, not because they want it. Because I've never met an addict who wanted to get sober or clean. They ended up needing to. Somebody said, you have to do this or I'm out. So in those first three steps, life has become unmanageable.

Step one, realized I had to rely on a higher power and then turn myself over to the higher power. It's step three that we're talking about today. And that's the one that's a big stumbling block sometimes. Hey, I know I need help. I know that this can't continue. That's step one. Sometimes I get there. Step two, yeah, geez, there's got to be some answer somewhere. I don't have it. But step three is turning yourself over to the process and the higher powers, or God as you understand them.

And you know what? There's a lot of different versions of the A meetings. There's the non-God, A-A, N-A, S-A meetings. And then there's the God version. Atheists, people who Don't believe there's a God. Yeah, you know, they're going to have a hard time with that. Even people who are of faith can have a hard time with accepting the fact that they have to turn their lives around and they're accountable to something, right?

I remember there was one client that she was thoroughly convinced that there was... There was, you know, there was a God. There's a God of everything. She said it like there's a God that's nature and there's a God of the more essential thinking beings. And then there's a God for the animal. I was like, okay, well, so you're going to turn yourself up because you came into my office and you said you're going to turn yourself over to a higher power. So who are you turning it over to? The trees?

The birds? Rocks? I don't know. Mother Nature? And then there are other people that come in and they really do think that God is a presence in their life. And they do feel that. They live in faith. But the problem is, they think God has either forsaken them or God is judging them.

Like, you know, the Catholic version of... uh faith in god is a punishing god you know fear fear fearful of god's wrath and then there's the other person who is trying to save themselves from the clutches of uh satan you know a baptist view of like salvation and then there's the other person who is a loving relationship with their god and god is a nurturer and a provider does it judge or punish So, you know, it's like whatever you walk in the door with, okay, fine.

That's where we're going to start. But you have to turn yourself over to a higher power. So, I can't imagine my life without alcohol or drugs or whatever. That's a hard one. Because if you can't imagine that, how are you going to go from there to turning yourself over to a higher power for guidance or direction? I would maintain that you're probably not.

So... getting to the point where you're turning yourself over to a higher power the higher power being the one that's going to actually save you but who is that what is that you know for me as a christian my god is the christian god it's the god of all things and being and is ever present in my life and i you know personally i feel accountable for what i do or what i say um how i live and i have to take that into consideration but not everybody has that same belief but a higher power i mean for

god's sake pardon the pun let's just start with i have to um i have to start with a higher power sitting across from me that's bearing witness to my addiction So that higher power that's sitting across the room from me is probably going to be somebody in recovery, or maybe it's a therapist or a counselor or a doctor. I don't know.

I've been able to see it where their higher power is the judge sitting behind the bench, and he's telling the person that's sitting on the chair next to them, shackled and chained, you know, I will decide your future. Turning yourself over to that higher power. So when you turn yourself over to a higher power, that's the beginning of change. How do you do that? Being vulnerable and in my experience as a clinician, most of the people that come into my office have severe trauma.

And so they have to trust in that higher power. And many, many times that higher power has been something that has abused them. So how do you turn yourself over to a higher power when your experience with higher power has been to be abused? That's a tall order. So that's why it's really important to understand that you're not going to be able to get into recovery by yourself. I just don't know that it could be done.

Now, I could be wrong because I don't know everything and I haven't met everybody, but that would be kind of hard to do just by yourself. You have to have somebody bear witness and call you on your crap, too. That's the other thing, right? But you've got to trust somebody to be able to do that. So you must find somebody that you can connect with, that you believe in. And that's why the whole mutual aid society structure of AA is so helpful because...

It's a sponsor-sponsee relationship that you engage in. That's really where the whole power of a communal kind of experience and recovery is. And so if you go to AA meetings or NA meetings or SA meetings or OA meetings or any meetings and you don't engage in the sponsor relationship with somebody, you're missing out, man. That's where it's at. You're missing out on the whole point of doing that work. Work the steps. You don't work them by yourself.

I've had people come in my office and tell me with a straight face, well, I read the book. I went to meetings and I read the book. Did you have a sponsor? No. Well, so you didn't work the steps. You went to the meetings and you just sat there. It was like theater for you. You weren't actually a participant. I was there. Yeah, I spoke. Okay, great. That's you going to the movies and clapping at the end of the movie or a play. You're not in the play. You're not doing the work.

So you got to do the work. So it's really, really, really important that you engage in that process. So turning yourself over to a higher power is exercised in multiple ways in recovery.

One of them is engaging in some kind of peer support meaning that somebody somebody in that room knows how to do what you're trying to do and they know how to do it better than you because you haven't done it before or or if you have like i've you know a lot of times people go to uh meetings and they they get you know they pick up their 10-year chip and they go back out and they pick up what the first thing you got to do is like reach out to people your sponsors with your tail tucked between

your legs I can't believe that I dragged. It's been 10 years. I blew it. I don't want to go back in there and pick up a 24-hour chip. I've been bragging about being. Okay, so now you're being arrogant. Stop it. Don't be arrogant. So turning yourself over to higher power is like a multiple step thing in my view. And one of the higher powers that you turn yourself over to is by walking in that room. There's a room full of people that know better than you. On how to do this. How to get recovered.

Into recovery. So that's the first one. Second one. I need a sponsor. Work with a sponsor. Find a sponsor. Somebody that's like five to ten years into sobriety. Not a year. Because a person who's a year into sobriety or six months. They don't know anything. They're not even sober themselves. So it's like five to ten years of sobriety under their belt. That's your next higher power. Somebody to tell you what to do. Lord knows, we addicts, we don't like people telling us what to do.

So surrendering your control and power and being honest, right? Speak the truth. Not your truth, but the truth. What happened? What'd you do? How'd it make you feel? You know? So you can listen to that person who knows better than you, the higher power, and says, wow, that's terrible, man. That's, you know, or whatever. Whatever wisdom they bestow upon you. from their wisdom that they learned.

And, you know, if you don't know this in AA and NA, we have sponsors and grand sponsors and great grand sponsors, just like your relatives, right? You got the elders. So my sponsor's sponsor is somebody that I may have a relationship with. And that's a good source because it's like, hey, they help me and I'll help you and wisdom, wisdom, wisdom, right? Pass it down. So, yeah, Overcoming those obstacles in that structure. It also is helpful to have somebody look at you and go, you know what?

This is going to work out. And you feel it because you believe them. This is going to work out. We're going to get through this. Instead of you need to get this fixed, you need to fix yourself. Because that's what everybody else says. You're a failure. Failure. You have no willpower. A sponsor's not going to tell you that. A sponsor's going to go, you know what? I did the same thing. And I know exactly how you feel. Because they do. They know exactly how you feel.

And they're probably the only people that you're going to encounter that can say, with all honesty, I know how that feels. Because they went through the same thing. So that's the higher power, right? Now, God as you understand him. I want to talk a little more in depth about an understanding about... what God thinks or what God does in our lives when we are an addict. And so I'm gonna talk about that a little bit more after we take a break.

But it's an important thing because how could God let this happen to me or why would God just let this happen? Or where was God when all this was going on in my life and all the destruction I did? And can I be forgiven? for all this crap that I did. That's a really big one. And so I want to talk about that and pull some other thoughts in there for you. So just hang on. We'll be right back.

As I'm trying to build up my podcast, I don't have anybody sponsoring this show, so I'm going to give some continued support for things that I believe in, groups that I believe in, or books. Because I think as addicts, it's helpful to have resources. One of them that I think is a really great book, if you can get past some of the language issues, and I apologize for the language that's used in this book, but this is who this guy is.

Russell Brand's book, Recovery Freedom from Our Addictions, it was published in 2017. It is an excellent book. His book, the recovery book, is one where he talks about each of the steps and he explains how those steps work and what they mean and how he experienced them in his recovery. He's a recovered addict and it's a wonderful book. So if you get a chance to read that book, pick it up. You could probably pick it up used or new, whatever. Go to Amazon and pick up a copy of it Read it.

Learn to be an expert in your own recovery. So, Russell Brand's book, Recovery, Freedom from Our Addictions. Excellent book. Highly recommended. And we're back. Hey, so... Let's talk about God. God. God as I understand him. God as you understand him. I don't know what you think. I know what I think. One of my favorite parts of scripture is Proverbs because Proverbs is all instructional and informative and I'm a guy and I need instruction because I'm a hard head. And I need to be told what to do.

I'm a guy. Proverbs 31. God who needs him. The skeptics swore. There is no God. No God. I can do anything I want. I'm more animal than human. So-called human intelligence escapes me. How true, right? I can do whatever I want. I flunked wisdom. I see no evidence of a holy God. Has anyone ever seen anyone climb into heaven and take charge? Grab the winds and control them? Gather the rains in his bucket? Stake out the ends of the earth? Just tell me his name. Tell me the names of his sons.

Come on now, tell me. That's what the skeptic says. The believer responds, every promise of God proves true. He protects everyone who runs to him for help. So don't second guess him. He might take you to task and show you for your lies. And then that believer prays, God, I'm asking for two things before I die. Please don't refuse me. Banish lies from my lips and liars from my presence. Give me enough food to live on, neither too much nor too little.

If I'm too full, I want to get independent, saying, God, who needs him? If I'm poor, I might steal and dishonor the name of God. God, as you understand him. You know what? In my belief, God will answer your call for action. if you're earnest about it, if you're honest. And that's what's so powerful about the white chair videos on the website I Am Second. Brian Head Welch is one in particular that I reference frequently. Brian Head's the guitarist for the group Korn.

And man, did he ever get taken to his knees. And he talks about it. If you get a chance, I'm going to talk about them in future podcasts but um the white chair videos awesome videos um he talks about his uh come to jesus moment um losing his wife to drug addiction he himself almost succumbing to his drug addiction uh the guys in his bands are the same problem all those guys had their issues um but You know, his belief was really tested. Like, he is the opposite of a believer at the time.

And he says, you know, he just... He started getting touched by... He started getting touched by people who were around him. His real estate agents, friends, you know, people that he didn't even know are telling him they want to pray for him.

But they also understand that God has been speaking... to him through them to get help and so he he tests that and he's like look in my heart just tell me tell me you know what to do and then he just continues doing drugs and he was very confused he didn't understand it's that turning yourself over part that escapes people and for addicts who they just They crave power. They want to control everything around them, right?

Because most times, as a clinician I experienced it, they were told that they were powerless over their domineering, abusing... force in their life whatever it was a relative a neighbor you know friends i've heard it all in here man it's just a horror story after horror story horrible abuse sexual abuse physical abuse it's just it's tragic and it's very very difficult to listen to and that person and you tell them look you have to control uh this desire to be in control so you have to surrender

that and oh man they don't want to do that brian didn't want to do that Until he did. And when he did, his life started to turn around and change. And I don't know if you listen to my podcast and my father-in-law, the pastor, talk about that. If you believe, things will change. And that's the pastoral perspective, which is a good one. I don't believe things will change. Then they probably won't. But it's what you do with that belief in God and turning yourself over. And so...

In Proverbs, if any of you want some real guidance, especially if you're a guy, you want some real direction, like you question the existence of God or the Bible, look in Proverbs. It's right there. Man, Proverbs is chock-a-block full of good stuff. If people can't see what God is doing... then they're not going to make that change. And that's why you have to avail yourself to the ability to see it happen.

And if you're around people that are all destructive, they're addicts, they're crazy, they're prostitutes, they're pimps, they're drug dealers, they're get-high buddies, those are people that are not listening to God. That's for sure. What they're experiencing is their own desires to do things. And man, that'll destroy you. So... Like it says in Proverbs, for people who hate discipline and only get more stubborn, there'll come a day when life tumbles in and they break.

But by then, it'll be too late to help them. And that's what I fear for people and my people. My people being my tribe. The people that I helped. The people that I lived with. The people, the person that I became. The ability to overcome that when you feel like you've broken and you're not You're no longer believing. So if you can turn yourself over to a higher power, understand you have to have a higher power to turn yourself over to.

And that can be very, very difficult for people who crave and literally lust after control. And that is what addiction does, is it uses arrogance to stoke that fire. So God can help you if you turn yourself over to him. But if you can't do that, you know, okay, then that's how you're going to live. That's how you want to live. But you have to turn yourself over to a higher power. There's just no way you can live without and survive addiction without turning yourself over to a higher power.

So, you get to step three, turning yourself over to a higher power. I think it's a multifaceted step. A higher power of, I'm going to sit in this room with these people and This residential treatment center, this detox center, this meeting room, these process groups with this counselor, with this therapist, with this doctor, with this psychologist, whoever it is, that's your higher power right then. Right there, sitting right in front of you.

And if you are in the presence of that person, then you understand that you have to trust that person. Hopefully, because you're not going to get anywhere if you don't. So turn yourself over to God as you understand him. That's an invitation. But it's an instruction and it's a direction. So step three is a very important step. And it is one, two, and three. They all link together very closely.

And the genius of putting that together in those first three steps before you get to the dreaded step four that we already talked about. But... Turning yourself over to that higher power is very, very important. And find those that you trust. Don't be afraid. So that's why it's important to get in that room and stick your hand up and say, I am in this meeting the first time, or this is the first time I've spoken in a meeting where I said the following. I'm going to say this.

I don't have a sponsor and I need help. And man, you will get... A lot of help if you do that from the people in the room. Because they probably were in the same place. But you've got to do that. And that's you turning yourself over to that higher power. And recovery is yours, my friend. It will be yours. You know, there's an often misquoted scripture reference that says God doesn't give you more than you can handle, and that's a horrible paraphrasing of Corinthians 10.13.

It actually says no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability. But with the temptation, he also will provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. That's the actual scripture. Take that to heart because you're not going to be tempted with something you can't overcome. And that's it for this episode of Doc Shock, your addiction lifeguard. Hope you enjoyed the podcast.

And if you did, you can send me a message. You can reach out to me through my website, ballspringmindbody.com. Let me know what you think. If you have a topic you'd like me to cover or somebody that you would like me to talk to or you would like to talk to me, you can do that. And it's not about how many times you've fallen down that really matters. It's how many times you get back up. And you only have to get up that one last time to get healed. So if you want to get sober, you can do it.

Join us as we continue down that path of recovery. And if you're not in recovery, take some steps to get there. So until next time, this is Doc Jacques saying good day and stay or get sober.