S4 - Ep. 68 - Paul Scheer

Listen up, dine our sores. We have exciting news.

Promo codes and links from all of our advertisers are now online and exactly Wrightmedia dot com slash promos. Scroll until you see do you need to Ride and then you can find all our latest deals.

Again, support the show and save some cash by using our promo codes and links What's not to love?

You'll find them at exactly rightmedia dot com slash promos.

Happy shopping, thank you, Oh you're welcome? Are leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there.

Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and they terminal engage.

We want to send you off. Install.

We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it?

We scared? Or was it fine? Mal porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?

Do you need.

With Karen and Chris welcome to do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

And this is Karen Kilgarrett.

Again, this is Chris Fairbanks. Karen was clearing her throat. I didn't unless you have this on two channels.

I didn't want to be afraid that you were you weren't heard.

I don't want to think this is the and Karen Kilgarov show.

I you're I think if we played this back, and I wish we could, you were fully in the clear.

I think you might be right, you know, because this does come in stereo. We've just added that he used to come in on one channel.

It was mono for a long time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we like the Kinks records, or like the nucleosis mono nucleosis? Ever have it the kissing disease?

No?

I don't. How does that connected.

Because it starts with mono?

Oh oh, I get it. I get it.

Well, we're in a beautiful neighborhood waiting for today's guest.

Yeah, we better tighten our shit up because he is not going to stand for this kind of bullshit.

But I'll stand here all day just admiring those ornate eves.

Don't talk about the eaves when he's here.

I won't.

I won't.

What if they're his eaves, he might be impressed, I.

Mean by his own eves. Yeah, just act like you've seen some ease.

All right, all right, play it cool, play it cool.

I forget when I'm in a fancy neighborhood, I get all weird. Man, look at those hedges. You could rest your elbow on them and relax. You're like it's a tabletop.

They are his eves.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, I'm afraid I know what I'm going to talk about, first.

Clubs and college all over the country.

You said it put your ears together for our friend and today's guest, Paul Share. It's Chris. It's the back of my head.

How are you. I'm good, I'm good.

I was just admiring the eve work, the ornate eve work on that house. And then lo and behold you came out of the house.

That's the house, that's the you've work. You know, I work with my hands, and that was all all me. So I was ready to do that.

Would you use like a lathe or a router?

You know? I just you know, for me, it was just a wood burning tool. Very precisely.

Now, I will let you know I've put you into a hellish landscape here because my street has become a ways cross through and anytime between three to five every single day, it's just a non stop.

Fight for your life to get through here.

So I shug up and around.

Maybe you should now can I add a Can I add a stop?

Please?

I want to stop the post office as well, because I have to pick up a package. I mean, is that it's on the way.

Will you open the package on the shing Yeah?

Nothing, you know, I'm ready to reveal everything here.

This is the yeah. Yeah, well, no, guests, I would have to be giving you the thing. I will not give you what was in the past, okay, but I will you know. So this is the post office across the street from the the lows.

Feel is three? That one that you know? Yeah, if you know?

Right downtown?

Yeah, right right over there.

Okay, right right right nowhere near downtown.

We're not going down.

Oh wait, I love going down to Well, okay, I guess we'll keep keep close.

Paul. How are you? What's going on?

Good? I am? I'm excited? You are? You know?

For those who don't know, I don't know if anyone does know. But you are taking me to a parent teacher conference.

That's correct.

So I am the parent in this scenario, and uh so I'm going to find out. I don't even know which I think this is from my Yeah, my youngest son, so this is his second grade first parent, Are.

You worried at all? Is a problem?

He talks a lot and he has a lot of like he seems to goof around a lot, and that seems to be the reports that we've been getting fromhim. But scholastically, he's doing pretty good, good, very much into Star Wars, but yet not really into math. So I got him a Star Wars math textbook that he seems to be enjoying.

The heck oudam. So maybe we're gonna fix it out, you know.

Yeah, yeah, my my parents tried so hard with all these these math workbooks that have some fun theme.

You can actually even go to the next block and then make a leftown okay, yeah.

Are you yeah? Are is there going to be a one on one with teachers? Like do you have to sit?

And yeah?

So you basically you go in. I've done this now. The first time was exciting. Now it's just sort of like you gotta get to a sign up genius app. You gotta find a time. So, uh, my wife and I'm a lovely wife, June Diana Rayphael, she will as.

You and I will go into a classroom.

And in this school that my kids go to, they really take some time and they really will.

Like you have like a half an hour just chat.

So it's a nice it's a nice it's a nice way to kind of I don't know, visit visit talk to you. You know, we've already seen our first like we have. I mean, all these kids they don't have grades, they don't report cards, as they don't have anything.

But but this is like we've seen.

The preliminary first report card. It gets to get too so we got the first one.

We're feeling good. Well would you drop?

That was like gallbladder? Unfortunately, now it's okay, sorry to interrupt.

Now you are doing something in a driving scenario that is activating every OCD sense, which is you're leaving the destination on that you've already been to.

Oh yeah.

That gets me in a way where I'm like.

Oh, please leave it on because it's challenging to me and it makes me o y better. But I'm always like that because I feel like the cars I got no, no, no, go back and say no, no, we've already been there.

Car.

You know what it is. I want to send a message to you that at any time I'll drop you off.

I see.

I love that anytime you're under full threat, So.

You're the benefit of this ride. I don't know if you do this all the time. It's a one way trip. That's why the two stops is kind of a nice one. That's right, you'll drop me, then I will meet up with my wife. My wife was like, you want to leave at the same time, and I said no, I said, I can't really get into why I can't. I said, but I will at one point explain it to you.

I will be there. I will be there for the conference.

That's not a secretly podcast.

Yes, it's a secret. Your wife doesn't know that you're recording right now.

No, my wife is already disturbed because I've already come back from one podcast today that asked a lot of me, which was to do the entire thing in a casket, lying down in a casket.

How do you feel about it?

Lovely, very relaxing.

Oh, but the the issue with it is it isn't built for you would think, oh, coffin has a nice comfy bottom like a bed. No, it's really like a rack. It's like what you would maybe hold a missile in or something like that. It feels like a wired a steel rack.

Oh well, it's not about comfort.

Right, I guess that's that's what I've learned. So if you're pulling right here, this is the like the secret side, yes.

Yes, the first one, the first one, yeah right, yeah.

This is it, and for such good directions and wow, there you go.

Everything is past.

It was amazing what Paul thinks of the sticker I got for her.

Oh yeah, okay, it's so funny that it says before we bought it, before we knew how awful he is, I were in a test.

Obviously.

I also drive a Tesla. I've seen this bumper sticker and I've thought to myself, maybe I should get it. And then I thought to myself, well, because I'm leasing, If I can't get that off in some way, right, well, then they take more. Will I be charged femalized more at the Tesla dealership?

Probably?

And look, I've tried to justify in many ways.

Well, I can attest as someone that used to work at a sign place. These are Vinyl educace of they will peel off okay, great, yeah, not take off paint, whereas like a regular clear sticker would maybe pull off paint.

So okay, this is great. I love this. I mean and now I mean, I guess the question is this, and then I'll go in and do my quick post office. But first, yeah, this is what I would say. What's the what's the CEO of Chrysler doing? Do you think we like guys on the up?

And the CEO of Mercedes Benz got clean closet, like you know what I'm saying, Like I'm just saying, like you know right now, Yes, obviously he's up in the mix.

I'm almost more worried about these other ones we don't hear anything about.

That's very true.

Yeah, I want to see some logs of some billionaires flights. I want to see where they've been going.

I don't even want to bring up all the skeletons and leiyah Cooca's closet.

All right, I'm gonna quickly run and run out, and then.

We're gonna get go through your stuff.

I cannot wait for you to go through myself.

Yeah, we'll be right back. All right, we're back with the package. It's very exciting.

Well, let me first tell you, you know, not to get into my post office routines here. But uh man, oh man, you would imagine that there was a long line there, you'd be mistaken. There was no one online. I was the only person in there and I had to pick up a package, and they said wait here for Freddy. So then, you know, I try to be patient and I wait for Freddy. And then some people come in, some people go out.

And this woman goes, Freddie's still getting.

Your package because I've never I've never seen Freddy. And she's like, by, let me go get Freddy. She goes away. No one comes by. Wait again, and then she's like, Freddy's not out here. I said, no, still Freddy, and she's like, all right, I'll do it, and and then went back, got the package, gave it to me, and I walked out. But I waited the entire time for Freddy to appear to something that seemed to be within arm's reach of the person who was telling me to wait for Freddy.

Seems like she's sucking with you.

And not only that, everyone in this car now is worried about Freddy.

Where is Freddy?

If that hell happened, They're they're closing in, you know, less than an hour. I feel like Freddie is not going to be on break that close to closing time.

He just hunched over short of breath in the corner somewhere.

He's choking on a cheese stick that he would that went down the wrong way and he got embarrassed and left the area.

No, no, I will tell you, sitting there and enjoying the sounds in the sights of the post office, I don't often get in there. I will say that every attendant there were two, they were they were doubled. They were doubled up on each register because they each one of them had called over another to be actually, I need your help here, and so there was so there were six attendants dealing with three people, so you had

He was like, that's great. A lot of Koreans are there.

You can get it all done at once in Malta.

So so I come with news of the post office.

I love it. It's like you really painted a picture.

My friend Holly had to do a report on Malta in sixth grade because our sixth grade teacher wrote the names of all the countries on the board, and then one by one all the kids went up. Our names were done out of a bowl. Then we went on and picked our countries. So Pat Lavin, whoever got picked first one, He picked Italy, next person picks.

Friends, right on right, we're getting the best one.

It's down to me and my best friend holleag I get Iceland and she gets Malta. And we literally it was nineteen eighty two. We could not scrape up information.

You got to get an encyclopedia. And it's not going to be that big of a passage.

It's going to be the tiniest panograph you've ever seen. We went to the travel agency to get some.

Good parenting these guys to get you this.

Well, here's the thing. I did something similar to that at a bachelor party. I don't know if you've heard.

About this, so I you know, and this is a bachelor party I went to after I've had kids. So in recent memory, in recent.

Times, pre COVID, the game was this, it's a bag of really terrible T shirts, or I would say T shirts that are awful and T shirts that are less awful but still not great.

And it's a short straws thing.

So the first person you get to pick any of the T shirts you're gonna have, you're gonna have a good zone with what you're picking. And then it gonna and then go down and down and out and down. And we were going to ah, I won't name the celebrity.

Because it may be damning.

We we are we are going to a live wrestling show that would be televised, and we had very good seats. We're gonna be in the front row. And so it wasn't even like we have to wear these shirts, like we have to wear these shirts in public and then beyond public in a place where people would.

See them, and they were embarrassing shirts like well, I'll tell you the one.

That though, well, if I wish it was as that simplistic, mine was and this is because I picked second to last.

The last one was straight up racist you know, simpler times. And uh so it was probably a first trip administration.

No, but it was like it was a it was it was supposed to be a painful pick, right, but it was something It was a very like it was written in a way that it wasn't saying anything offensive but written in offensive way.

So that's what I remember.

So many damn Koreans and Malta's that's what it was.

Too many. So mine was Shaggy from Scooby Doo with a very prominent heart on in his pants.

Okay, because Velma was bending down in front of him.

That was the shirt.

There's no T shirt, there's no witticism on the bottom. It's just like this is a very Norman Rockwell esque moment. Yeah yeah, And that was the shirt that I had picked. Now, I will say that the first person who picked pretty major celebrity and got to pick the shirt that was simply Netflix and Chill. You know, bad but like but also in the grind, like I would kill for a Netflix and show.

Yeah, right, could be wearing ironic.

And when I tell you that he put up such a fight about wearing the Netflix and Chill shirt, not because he doesn't have a show on Netflix.

None of that. It was like people know me for my fashion and that I am the scene.

That's so funny.

I can't be seen And I was like that you can't. The person who has the easiest shirt can't be complaining about not being seen in the shirt.

Yeh, did he want to trade with your shirty?

I mean that was the thing. Like he was like, guys, I just can't do it. I just simply can't do it.

It can't risk it.

He can't risk it, And and that I thought was funny. I've never seen a moment like that kind of play out. But I think because he caused such a scene, the gentleman who picked after me didn't have to wear his racist shirt. It's not an opinion that he shares why I didn't have to wear my I didn't have to wear my shaggy boat because he was like, well, if he can get an out, yeah, we all have it.

The game is over and that's not a game. That's not a.

Game for people that are going to be on television that are slightly recognizable.

Fun game and theory.

Sure so.

Was the wrestling match televised?

Yes, and we were front row of that.

Okay, that, and you know, the cameras are going to be like.

Oh, we're around multiple times throughout the wrestling. Now some of the people in the in there wore their shirts. They're not famous, they don't care, and god bless it was good.

It was. Yeah, it was funny. It was I mean, I do appreciate the game. I just said that, like my fix to the game was we can take away the things that are explicitly awful, like we don't need that, like you know, like we don't need more of that in the world.

But you know, but you can still do embarrassing without doing racist or.

You wouldn't want a child to see.

Yes, exactly, they don't need a shirt with with Shaggy having a bone.

You know, you're all wearing shirts with gaffer tape covering up the offensive parts.

Now you're going in an interesting way. I'm curious that you're going.

Well, we have time.

Karen's amazing and driving with that, like you mentioned it before, the anxiety of love. I used to drive, and I I'm not a good multitasker. Karen is like she hasn't mapped out the route we need to go.

I love it.

And when I land and you have to be there at five thirty. Yeah, you're gonna be there on time. Did you remember to wear your shaggy shirt?

But I mean, I'm definitely gonna wear one of those shaggy yeah you know the uh it is it's.

It is a f that shirt. I couldn't get it off my body quick enough either. Because it also is like, I don't know how you all feel, but you know, we're all comedians.

We do things that are funny.

And people will try to say to you, I'm sure, hey, I got something funny for you, and yeah, something, and then sometimes there are real something and you're like, well that's not actually funny, yeah, or maybe that offends the sensibility they have, or a million things. I could have seen myself wearing that shaggy shirt and getting a lot of high fives like yeah, that's a good shirt. Yeah, And I don't like it's just as the celebrity, the

Comedy sensibility that I was like, even in jest, I was like, because you can, I've seen people wear funny shirts. I've seen people do you know, hey, we got it.

But you know, I felt that shaggy shirt could go either way, especially at a wrestling match.

Yeah, it's a simple fact. I don't want to because it's someone else's.

Joke, right, Yeah, that's a good way to go.

Yeah, but now you're saying that that's a joke or you were seeing that this is maybe a moment of sexual awakening, but exactly this is really I don't know, get it's open because there's no line there.

It's just this is just a moment, a moment.

You try to get someone else to wear the shirt and you're like, no, no, you should wear it.

I'll just sit across from you. I just watched the shirt all just as.

There, confused that it isn't dastint. Yeah, that's that's so funny. That's uh yeah, that was a bad idea. No offense to your friend.

No, I mean, look, everyone's trying to do a bachelor party game, and look, this is a bachelor party that there was no nothing. There wasn't even a.

Lot of drinking in this bachelor party. You know, we went out for pizza, we saw a wrestling match. It was very very sixth grade.

Sleepover, you know, no quailudes and a donkey and no.

No, it was a pinball museum, it was a wrestling match, it was pizza. We were in Chicago, not even a bar afterwards.

Yeah, it was a very except for this, you know, the shaggy shirt.

Yeah that I That's the only kind of bachelor party I'm interested in.

Yeah, yeah, bachelor parties. It's interesting because now, you know, we get to a certain age, I don't know what we what are we celebrating at this point?

Yeah, we've done that, right, we don't need to do this.

I gave my dad a bachelor party. My dad got remarried, probably probably in like two thousand and five. My dad was married to my mom from very like. My dad and my mom got divorced in the early eighties.

I saw an interview where they kept that divorce a secret from you.

Is that? Yes, that is true. You know it's tough to do, but so you felt better because you were a kid. Yeah.

So my parents got divorced when I was three, but then kind of lived this lie that they were together until I was five. And you know, there were signs like I once like went walked out of my bedroom getting whatever, a glass of water, whatever I was doing.

At three, I had a lot of things on.

My mind, and I saw my dad in the guest room reading a book and I kind of like it was almost like I caught and I like kind of scooted back in.

I remember that very clearly. Wow, yeah, you know, like what's going on there?

I didn't know. It just felt odd. And then you know, I once, you know, I once went into my mom's bed and you know, my dad wasn't there, and my Mom's like, oh no, you can't sleep in this bed, that the bed is broken.

It's funny that at at three years old, you knew they should be sleeping together, right.

Well, yeah, intimacy, right.

You know, because as a kid, like you're you're you know, like as now as a parent too, I would say, like, my kid's crawling to our bed all the time.

Yeah, I wasn't there. It would be weird. I mean, it's it's weird when my wife will.

Go to work early in the morning or I go, you know, I can only talk about when she's gone for work, but when they come in, where's mo?

Why is she not here?

Now we know that she's normally here. We know she goes out during the day. But why is it she not here at five in the morning. That's that's odd, and it is true.

The one thing that a young child knows is their parents sleep together. They share a bed. That's the one thing you know about A different thing.

Yeah, I will say my wife and I also, you know, you might not catch us sleeping in the same bed because one of our we have two kids, so one of our kids might get in there and start pushing us around too much, and we give up, We kind of tap out, and it's like we'll get we'll move to another bed. I see and the kid. I often go to the kids bed. I'm like, you kick me out in my bed, I'll go to your bed. My wife just goes to the guest room, and she's always

Up that spider man dove and just be done with exactly right.

Just yeah, my kids barely. It's like there's nothing there. I can just put it over me. I'm good, I'm around, good to go.

Sorry I interrupted your you're throwing a bachelor party?

Oh I was.

I threw my bachelor party from my dad, you know, and I'm like my and my dad's obviously older than me, and it's like, well what do we do? What what is this? And and it just turned out to be a nice steak dinner. Oh yeah, that was a very wonderful time with his friends to have a.

Nice steak dinner.

Yeah, that's nice.

Well, I mean I feel like after a certain amount of time, probably the novelty wears off of you gone to handful of those.

Maybe not, I don't know.

I mean I have, you know, I've done a few different things, like I I threw a bachelor party from my friend where we hired ghost hunters and uh, and so we rented an airbnb and o hi, and we hired ghost hunters to come and see if this house had ghosts. It was Yeah, so it was basically like a it was like hiring you know, a dancer or

It started by jumping out of a k.

They well, that was the funny thing. They were.

They were grave, they know, they were like, oh, we want to kind of we know it's a bachelor party, so they were kind of doing like like trying to make jokes now or like there we brought the whipped cream.

And we're like, oh no, no, no, we we just wanted the ghost hunting in the regular Yeah.

Did they they know about what you do for a living and everything.

Yeah, I think they understood it a little bit and they definitely was there were some connections.

And I think when they got there they were even.

More little because you know, over the phone, we weren't like, oh we do this or we do that.

Yeah yeah, okay. But then they but then they did all these recordings. They gave them to us.

We were great, and they're like no, no, no, we need to listen through these recordings with you.

And we're like, well, no, that that. I know, we we've done it now.

But I remember sitting in my office with the Mother and Sun ghost Hunter and like some burned c D DVDs listening.

To Oh so they could tell you that that was voice talking. Yeah, like an additional what hour.

Just pass forward through this part? Well, you know, and I'll get it. I got it.

I got it.

Hear that the ghost has sleep appenings.

Yeah. I think that they were so trying to do a good job for us.

Yeah.

I mean while we thought that this is like a funny, it was like a it was you know, it was just a fun thing to do.

I hire some ghost hunters.

Yeah, but they take it pretty seriously, those ghost hunters.

I did too. But there was nothing that happened. There was no you know, there was no ghosts that they found.

You know, you did you get a known to be haunted Airbnb?

No, you know that was that, you know, because we had to get an airbnb that actually fit everybody first of all. So it was just sort of like, let's take a shot if kind of the idea was, if everything is haunted, maybe we'll catch one of these haunts.

You know, well, we'll get a little haunts out of this.

That's I went. I had a show in New Orleans and I got a random bed and breakfast and it was a known like they did a tour wow while I was there, and my room was horrifying. There was like a neglige a flood ring above the door, like they set it up to be scary. Yes, and I door knobs were moving like. I stayed up all night and the next day I slept in and I was late for my show because I took a nap. I was like, I'm not Wow.

I do not recommend New Orleans.

I will say, uh seems to have the most truly well actual hauntings.

Yes.

I was shooting movie there with Tom Lennon, and Tom Lenon had a little son at that point and now he's much older Ollie and Ollie would be running around their apartment. It was right on that big square in the center of town there. I forget what it's called, but right. And some would run through and go, you know, run through one room, high Daddy, go into the kitchen, Hig Mommy, run through the next room. Hi Arthur, Arthur, Hi Mommy, Hi Daddy, Hi Arthur.

You know what is this? Wow? And then at one point.

They were also standing on the street and he's like what and he and he was talking to somebody in a sewer.

Great was not there and this kid never.

Experienced anything like this, and uh and uh yeah. And then they did ask, they did ask the the owner of the place, is it haunted? And they said, oh, yeah, there's a guy named Arthur who lives here. Oh no, yeah, so there you go.

Yeah, he's a clown. Yeah, he enjoys children, he.

Loves the sewer.

That is amazing.

Yeah. So there there's some like, there's some stuff that is horrifying.

New Orleans has some. I spent many times. I spent time in the new buildings in New Orleans. There was no uh no ghosts in my uh in my uh furnished apartment that I was put up.

And you're in your rental, your sublet. Did you ever go to the what's it called DuMond Cafe? Dumont did and.

Go, oh, yes, they're good.

They're great coffee.

Oh, I mean I do, I'll do the whole. I mean, you know what I really like is I like to get those oysters too. I go, there's like there's you can just eat oysters. If I say eat oysters on the sidewalk. That seems crazy, but there are like some outdoor like raw bars like that.

And I went out one night.

With Jerry Butler, right who famous actor Jerry Butler, star of movies like Den of Thieves and Geo Storm and a bunch of great stuff Gladiator. I guess I should have probably lived with Butler.

Jerry Jerry.

I was like, I was going to make a joke about Gerard Butler, but you just know, miss Jerry, who want to know the guy?

Well?

You know, yeah, this is the funny thing because I've called them Girard and they're not Jerry.

Everyone. Yeah, so now I've called them Jerry. Funny.

It was a funny thing because I was I was going on New Orleans. I was on a plane. I bumped into my friend who was a manager, an agent or a manager one of these things, you know, And I was like, Oh, what are you doing here? And he's like, oh, my client's in a movie. Uh, Daniel, I'm just gonna come visit. And he's like, i'll hit you up, but come out with us.

I was like sure.

I didn't even know who the client was, but I was like, I'm friends with him like we've been on vacations together, me and this guy.

So it wasn't they, it was it was normal. It was fucking Jerry Butler.

And uh and Jerry Butler is a great hang And when I tell you that he is one of the most gracious people, like everyone in this restaurant coming up to him, old young male female didn't make a difference.

And he sat in the middle of a long.

Table that we were at and was like the King and and and that's where we got some oysters on the street because they were they were barbecuing oysters out there. And you know, when Jerry Butler comes in, I guess that place is like, we're gonna give him as many oysters and as many oysters.

I don't even think we were ordering them at a certain point. It was just like we just at bringing We're bringing oysters to our king that.

He deserves it.

He does.

During COVID, my friend and I would watch movies like Long Distance, Oh fun.

So we just picked the.

Movie and then watch it we'd started at the same time, and then just text each other or whatever.

I love that.

It's very fun. Gerard Butler became a theme where like.

The day a new Gerard Butler movie came out, Jerry Jerry.

It actually doesn't Jerry work better?

It does, It's so much easier.

Like that's why I think it's been so hard. It's like, I'm not one of those people like to give the nickname ever, but Jerry actually works. It does Jerry Butler. I mean, Gerard Butler has starved through. Jerry Butler's a star of like thieves. It's like, Jerry is you know, a white house down Jerry's Jerry storm Plaine, one of the best underrated great.

Movie actually sounds like a Butler's name. Jerry Jry.

Jerry feels that the guy that you want to hang out with and need some barbecue oysters with.

Yeah.

Also, Scottish people I find to be the most delightful and the most hilarious people. And when they speak like they speak almost poetically. Oh yeah, all the fucking metaphors and similes and stuff, all the ways they describe stuff, it's like you're just they're reading you a poo.

Well.

It's the best cursing of all time too. I mean, and that's and and I think Brits have that too, But the Scott's got it.

Scott's got it. We we did a show in London. How did this get made? Where we do a lot of Jerry Butler movies on our show What's a Lot of Love?

But uh, we were there and we were like, oh, you know the home of Jerry Butler.

We did a Jerry Butler movie. And when I said to the audience, I said, I just did a show in the UK, one guy in the crowd goes, fuck London and then everyone was like, fuck London.

The entire entire like thousand person audience started chanting Fuck London. I was like, this is a fun place to be like just that, like they all were on board with it and they were ready to go. Yea, I say, ui related some I think it was just like Scotland is like nope, yeah, you.

Know, don't even bring it up.

Yeah, they don't know.

And I feel like there was an energy there that London may have had that towards Scotland too, but they were a little bit more played about it.

Well they're so low key, yes exactly, Yeah, yeah, so good.

So do you think tonight if they have issue with your son speaking out in class, acting out and you know it's being he's being funny.

Probably, Well, that's the thing. My son is funny, and he's the he is. Many people love his teachers really love him. It's like you can tell he's goofing off right and and like why I read his work and I read his writing and they're all like joke heavy things that he's pump pumping out, that he's doing his work. But he is also like painting some pretty vivid pictures and things, you know, So I don't think he'll be in that much trouble.

I think you'll get him off the hook just by he's like, oh, I don't know where that kind of behavior could possibly lead, and then pull out your wallet and stand out.

This is, you know, the fun thing about both my kids are funny. Both my kids are sweet and kind, but my my youngest has like this funny, quirky sense of humor and not like a weird sense of humoral, Like this is straight up like a funny sense of humor. So we when we do have this get made. I don't really try to indoctrinate my kids into show biz. It's not like not a path that I would want to offer up. I don't want to that's not really.

Yeah, or you want them to avoid it cause major really yeah, you know right?

You know, although I will say that most kids in their class and in the school they go to, there's not many people who work in our industry in the school, But every kid wants to be a YouTuber.

Every kid wants to be on Twitch.

So there is like a he wants that celebrity, but not the same way or understanding how it even even similar to what I do. Like it's like, oh, yeah, I'd like to be a YouTuber. How many people want.

To be YouTubers? You know, they want to be dude perfect.

You know, and they all look up to Jake and Logan Paul.

Oh well, I tell you my kids three favorite people are Elon Musk. Is it Jake Paul or Logan Paul? Whoever has Prime? And then uh and then Elon Musk. Those are my kids three favorite I mean, the reason, one of the main reasons I have with Tesla is because my kids are.

Like, you got it, you got it, got it, And.

I was like, you know, I've been on the fence about and I did drive and I was like, it is my favorite one and it was way cheaper than I was going to re up the least of my minivan. And what I realized is I'm a huge minivan fan. I love a minivan, but as my kids got older, I didn't really need the minivan as much anymore.

You know. Yeah, that can kind of be a lot more functional. And the and the Preus it's not the pre Sorry. The Tesla that I have is big, it can it can do. There's an extra row. We're in a four seater. I have a six seater.

Wait is it the one with the with the batlan?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, Oh cool.

Yeah, I want to say suicide Lamborghini doors. We'll just call them.

I mean I like to call them DeLorean. Yes, yes, yes?

And do you love how fast it goes? Because that's it. I can't believe it.

It's a wild thing that I would love to experience a little bit more. But in LA I have to just kind of do it in very random moments. But it's amazing how quickly and get to that thing.

You know? Yes, do you do the self drive?

Never?

I do it a lot. Do you really love it? I love it?

Didn't they recall something?

Though? You know, I think a lot of that is propaganda. I only.

Like I you know, It requires you to be attentive, you know. I think when people were first doing it, they were getting the back seat and they were doing dumb.

Shit like this requires you. You have to have your hands on the wheel.

You got to be looking forward because there's a little camera in your somewhere right up above your rear view mirror, so they know if your eyes are off the road, and if your eyes are off the road, it gives you a warning, gives you two warnings, then they give you a strike. If you get a strike, you can only get three strikes, and then if you have three strikes, you can't use it again, really use again.

For like like like you've abused the system.

Has it ever tugged the wheel in a direction and you didn't agree right away?

It sometimes gets a little happy about moving lanes, like merging. I'm like, they don't need to merge this much, you know, but I will tell you the watching it merge.

You know, I've only know how I merge and.

I drive, So it is like being in the driver's seating, like, wow, that's a smoother move than I would have made that, Like you know, like there's a you know, and they're seeing all the cars and they're seeing the people.

There's just moments where I'm nervous about it, like, oh no, we're gonna hit this. We're not.

But because you have no like, because you're not in control at all, there is like I think there are moments of like, am I too close to that? I'm I too close to You're not.

You're never too close to Maybe I've seen the movie Christine too much. I don't like a car with its own feeling.

No, this is it, this is you know now, I will save my car. Did make me vote for Donald Trump's all? Yeah?

Why?

It was weird to fill that thing in like yeah, feel yourself compelled.

Well, it was odd because when I got into the car on election day morning, it's like, thank you for voting, and I was like, oh wait, I didn't vote. And then they popped up my thing and it was it was red down ballot, you know, which is.

Again they said, look, we took care of we took.

Care of it, we took care of I in all seriousness, never got any confirmation that my vote counted.

Makes me. I just checked the other day. Mine has not yet been counted. But California is two point three billin votes behind yeah.

Yeah, and usually they say thirty days before concerns.

That's what I don't understand. I thought this this thing would be not to get all, hey, we're in it though. I thought it would take at least a week, and then it was the next morning, Well but here's the thing, and not that this might be old.

Can I just put this to the car really quick? Am I making mistake? Not getting off this?

Fucking this is always this is always really backed up like this, and then it cleans up.

Okay, I just don't want to be down.

Yeah, so and then you're kind of stuck. Now you're on this way. You're gonna go this way. This is it, so you know the next morning unfortunately, I think what is what happened was we figured it out. It's a landside. Get ready. America's changed.

But now as even just a week has passed, new numbers have come out and it's basically forty nine forty eight as far as percentage points, oh really yeah, and it's down to like one point, like two or three percent. It's going to be in that range of a difference.

It was No.

You know, now, electorally, that doesn't make a difference, because if you lose by one point or you lose by ten points, it's the same thing.

But vote wise, it is raised, it's raisor thin. It's about like a million votes.

That makes me feel a little better because the whole landslide thing was bumming me out and making me two not want to go on the road.

Well, I mean, he's gonna say whatever, And then I think what, I think we're really what we've because I went and look, I will tell you this.

I did this last night because I had this all my head. I was like, well, has has this changed? You know?

Has it like? Has this changed that much? And I I googled it up and I'll tell you this much. So in twenty sixteen it was that was forty six, forty eight. Then in uh then when it was Biden and Trump, which was a higher, more turnout because of the COVID fifty one forty six.

So now we're talking forty nine forty eight, So it is.

The closest election in the last three election cycles that is probably more split down the middle than any other election.

Yeah, so it's like, which I think is.

A not a good thing, but it just it goes to show you that there we're still in the same exact country that we were nothing there might have been a thing here, a thing there, but.

Yeah, primarily except this time, eighteen million Democrats decided just not to Well that's yeah, that was kind of the.

Yeah, well, you know, I was in Nebraska, and I was in Wisconsin. I was campaigning for an independent candidate Nebraska, oh wow. And I was also just hanging out in Wisconsin working with the Wisconsin Democrats. But the one thing that they told me, because I was like, well, how are you feeling, you know, and they were.

All pretty they were feeling pretty good. A Nebraska wasn't feeling Nebraska isn't Nebraska's a deep bread. They're like, we're gonna hope to make a dent here with this guy. And he was making a huge dent and he lost by a slilver. But but what they said was the one thing you can't account for is that Trump brings people out like people who don't vote, and look, they're gonna people who always stay home too.

But like Trump, Like it's like the fear of Trump doesn't bring people out.

Yeah, Trump brings people out, and and you can't equate for what that is would be. But they said, the reason why there was.

A no red wave in the midterms because there's no Trump on the ticket.

Right, A lot of a lot of people outdoors still wearing flannel pajama bottoms.

Yeah, which, by the way, we got to reclaim those, because I know it's a good look. I like plaid.

But what do you think, Paul, of the kind of growing conspiracy thing of like that the Starlink satellite system being connected.

You don't buy it.

Don't buy it. I'm not into it.

I don't buy it. I don't want to be what I was making fun of. No, I want, yes, but I love to believe that, but I don't because the thing is I think that the thing that's the thing that undercuts all that is there's enough down there's enough split tickets. If you look at all the Democratic people who run on the smaller races, but their top of the ticket was Trump and the bottom was Democrats, and there was a lot, especially in the swing states.

That happened like that too.

I don't think they would just be manipulating one like, it wouldn't be like they wouldn't just be uh. I think it just shows that's humans, Like humans are making those choices.

Yeah, but that means.

They're like voting for a Democratic senator and then him as a president.

That really it doesn't make sense to me. I'll tell you why it makes sense. I'll tell you, like again, not that I'm I'm not a trumper.

I'll tell you, but should we tell this guy he leashed a coyote, sorry that it's not a dog.

Yeah, that is true, scary, But why I think it makes sense.

It is like I would talk to people, and when you get out of your own space sometimes you learn some things.

And then so many people said to me, he wrote us those checks.

He wrote us those checks, and that made a big difference that Donald Trump on a check. A lot of people thought that Donald Trump just, I guess, took out his checkbook and wrote some checks to people insane, and that was a big and and so I think that when you think about that, like people may be like, well, you know what he actually did help me, and I actually like this.

There's a lot more camaraderie.

And like a a like a senate candidate or somebody that you have, like a governor or somebody that like that you have like some sort of more like we're Michigan and that's what it is and this is what we do, yeah, versus him, which I think people just liked and I don't think and I don't think new a lot of policies. That's the other thing I found out too. A lot of people don't know. I would argue that most people knew one policy, which was like I think I had more money.

That was it, right, thank god?

And a lot of people, I mean it's been proven before. People like bad comedy.

Well you know that's honestly.

That's what I thought was going to be the death of him, because it was like a bad musician going back on the ruds, like you don't you knew stuff isn't good? Yeah, the old stuff is feeling old, like you it's like you're giving me a you know's we've seen it, like we need something.

Or he was on those podcasts with those guys that were just laughing at him.

Yeah, and then it's like but that just helped him. Yeah, that just like kind of galvanized.

The people that watch those podcasts that you know are just like that was based or whatever.

Well, I guess like what I'm also thinking in look, I like, I know, I don't want to be at all cavalier about this because I understand there's all these you know, we got Fox News hosts for taking away the Department of Education, but there's also somebody to be like, you got total control, Like this is what everyone wants, right, Everyone's like, oh, if I had all the control, and I think Obama, I think everybody would say this, if I had all the control, I would be able to

I'm just trying to spin it. Yeah, I'm like I'm I'm in.

I'm just like all right, well i'll give it. I'll give it a benefit. I guess I don't know. I mean, it seems awful to appoint somebody who says that women shouldn't be in combat. I mean, true, that's a rough, rough thing to say when you're going to be leading all the military that is.

Or like, well, it made me very happy because apparently, shockingly, the chief of police in LA came out and said that the LAPD will not help any kind of a Trump rounding up of citizens of any kind.

And I was like, holy shit. It made me feel so much.

A lot of people that I know in my neighborhood that I need to tell that because they're all freaking out.

Yes, everybody's freaking I thought.

We were getting it. One time while we are podcasting with Tig some guy just stopped in front of the car and would not move, and luckily a cop finally came by and moved removed the man. I thought that was going to happen again, similar and yeah, something will happen like that before we get into the parenteg.

God, damn, this is taking now.

I mean, we'll see if we're gonna be able to get to because it's going to be in four minutes.

Oh no, Jesus, is your kid going to be there?

To know?

My wife is there and she's like, where are you? This is our fault, throw me under the bus.

This is uh, this is my I shouldn't have played as fast and hard with you.

You know what, We used to drive comics to the airport and I don't know if anyone missed a fly it because we didn't follow. But yeah, imagine those being mistakes.

Yeah no, I'm I'm hoping that we will.

We will get faster once we get somewhere here.

Yeah, yeah, something, Well, it would it helped if you told June Dan Then I just saw her in some TV show and she looked gorgeous.

She was the wife and they were talking.

I will I will let her know scene where they were talking.

She was talking to somebody.

Yeah, conversation movies.

I love it. I mean, look, I like a movie where people are talking.

So you know, is your wife involved with the aren't you going on tour doing impre.

Yeah, we're we're we're going to go on tour with our podcast get made, and then I'm gonna go off on tour with my improv group that I would perform with. What's that called against dinosaur?

Dinosaur? I think about elephant though, I just threw it in there. That's fine, you know, last minute change. I like, I like elephant, I like Dinasa. What I found was, you know, it's it's a tricky. It's a tricky name because it could be a band when it comes to the dinosaur, Well what's that? And so now what I've realized is like I got to really make I really got to make posters that put our our faces on it.

Right, you know, because people understand a lot of.

J Mascus fans and elephant elephant sex is a neutral milk Coachel guy just confused dudesies.

Yeah, we got to make sure that people know they're not coming out for that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's I.

It's I.

You don't hear about uh improv touring that well?

You know.

So I really had this idea, which was we've been performing together as a group. I would say seventy percent of this group has been performing together for over twenty years. And we did chose New York and then we moved out to LA. We did chose in La and it's such a fun thing to do. And you know, there was this theory that no one wanted to go see improv And then I think now it's podcasts have taken off and things. People understand what improv is. People get

The other one you have to crossover. I'm just kind of run across it.

So yeah, I'm looking forward to We've done it a few times so far. We did a three night stint in Chicago to start off. Then we went to Seattle, and then we went to Portland. And each time we go we get bigger and bigger venues. Oh that's great and doing big venues and we'll see it's but it's also just fun to perform with a bunch of people that you like.

Yeah, and it's meaning to be the biggest money thing.

But at the same time, based on what we're just talking about, like I think people want to have a good time and life.

Yeah. Yeah.

Just this past week, I've done shows at the Comedy Store and the and the Improv and people were so laughing with like a therapeutic release because they I was a little worried, why is it sold out here at the Comedy Store?

Are people celebrating?

No, they had a blazed overlook in their eye and they were looking for a distraction. And it's been and.

It's kind of it's kind of wonderful, or at least the way that I feel like we've approached it too, not that we're doing this a lot, but just like it's not we can talk about anything else, was talking about anything else.

But that is a great thing too. It's like, you know, you can touch on it.

We all we all understand we're all breathing this air of toxicity to certain degrees, you know. But then you're also like, is everybody I don't know, No, I don't know, you know, get nervous, I get nervous.

That's the whole thing.

Yeah, yeah, I touched on it here and there and then go back to the other comics for branting, and they're like, we know.

That's what I think. You don't want to.

No one wants like like a point of view that could be fun, great, but get out of it. We also just don't want to. We're going to be inundated with it again. We've got to take our medicine very small, uh like doses. We have a long way to go.

We have to.

Yeah, we're gonna I think we're gonna do it. It's five point thirty now, will probably be like two minutes late. Oh hell yeah, this is this is a you know, this is a pretty masterful we got contract.

Yeah.

I hope that they don't say, well, first of all, your your child.

Is late for a lot of classes to be a late parent, and you know, I can't say, well, I was podcasting.

I had to podcast it. Should I just pull over at the light.

I'll show you it's a little bit further.

Up, okay, and oh oh it's there.

Yeah.

Yeah, Well, there was a year you might use this one. I was in a lot of trouble for being disruptive and everyone was telling my dad, and my dad's solution was to do a prat fall down all the stairs in front of all the teachers, and he pulled his pants up first and then fell down like Jerry Lewis, and it took all of the pressure off of me. Then everyone was just focused on my dad.

That's a veray.

So actually come in and negosine yes, yes, Chris Farley, Yes exactly, yes, yeah, just like, hey, god, you know now what I I like to do. I like to do volunteer work at the school. I like to run the book fair and I give kids a lot of guff and I you know, And I was in a Christmas movie called Family Switch last year and in the kids all the kids had seen that's so cool. And so then I come in when I pull them for carpool, I yelled.

At them kids, and they love it.

So I tried to do bits that I had to do something nice bits, not bits that like I try to do bits and parents are around. I don't want to do bits in front of parents. These bits are not for parents, These bits of kids only.

Yeah, that's cool that you volunteer at Yeah, well, like you know, you.

Do your part I'd like to be I'd like to be around one of the coolest things. Why you're involved with Wisconsin politics? Are you from? You know?

I just wanted to figure out a way to be helpful. I like Wisconsin. But yeah, but that was really it. I was like, I want to be helpful. And then I talked to my friend and he's like, Wisconsin could use you. And I was like, all right, I'm buying my ticket tonight.

That's so cool.

Good for you.

So if you just go down just a little bit, oh yeah, like anywhere, like you see the gate, the gates here, the entrance where the little pillars are, that's.

Me over there, helpful over here wherever you want, Sorr.

I have to like you know this in a way.

This the energy, everything, the urgency.

It's great.

I just hope you're not.

This is amazing. Yeah, I appreciate you. Thank you so much. Yeah, you're the best. Great, thank you so much. And I'll get this open that one.

But we looked with all your toys all right, bye, that was so great.

You really have to go.

That was a perfect That brings us back to the actual urgency. Yeah, of our original recordings.

That's right.

Well, that was a good anything you would like to say.

In closing it, just you know, please go to my website Kilgaref dot edu.

I I actually and she's still an edu. I'm at chrispher Rinks dot biz. No, I'm doing the lyric hyperion on the twenty sixth.

Oh cool, that's fun.

I'm hoping this will by then twenty sixth of November.

No, well that's fine.

Oh yeah, dm is.

Yeah, she's doing the wrong thing. Jesus almost ran into a lady with dreadlocks.

So you've been listening?

Did you need to ride?

D y n hey are?

This has been an exactly Right production.

Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.

Mixed by Edson Choy.

Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarret, artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.

Thank you both.

You're welcome