S4 - Ep. 63 - Karen & Chris

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and aid, termino and gage. We want to send you off InStyle.

We wanna welcome you back home.

Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?

Now?

Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need do you ride to ride? Do you need.

With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? That's is Chris.

Fairbanks and this is Karen Fulgaris.

Do you like that little pause you adopted it? Well?

I like to mirror your intros.

Yeah, it's okay, I know. I mean I'm not taking offense.

I don't care if you do. Oh wait a second, wait a minute, that was a bit confrontation.

Yeah, I would rather you mirror my positivity.

Uh I, the fake fight is over?

Okay? Good because I didn't mean to start it.

Yeah, near did I I didn't need to. I didn't probably didn't even exist.

No, no, I absolutely did it. But it's that's my old kind of nineties way of this is funny if I'm confrontation and it's ninety nine percent of people in the world hate it.

Yeah, but it's the rule to any solid improv sketch, you gotta attack, yes right away?

Is that true?

Yeah?

I think so.

I don't think I've seen any good improv sketches that start with support and I like what you're doing over here? Oh okay, you have to go No, you're not a cop, and why are you scrubbing that pan? And that's you know, that's the annoyance theater.

Oh got it? Yeah, shaking it up a little bit.

I just talk about things I've heard about. I've not experienced it.

I prefer to not experience things, and just everything's kind of gossip. It's like a gossip based life.

Yeah exactly, because then you can add your own perspective, which is all that coming from your.

Brain aka stand up comedy.

Yeah exactly.

Yeah, that's us.

I joined the gymnasium by my house because I can walk there, okay, and.

It has made me go more often.

And I take these classes where there's a lot of squatting and kettlebells, something I've never done, and then I can't walk for four days. But it's starting to get to where I can walk the next day. So it's it's been great. But they have a boxing dim and I've been boxing because it's just one of the things you can sign up for. And yesterday I hit the boxing instructor in the face.

Did he ask you to?

No? He got me all hyped up because he said, well, somebody's done this before, like little thing, and if I get any kind of positive reinforcement, my body goes hey wire.

I've noticed it with golf.

If anyone compliments me, that's when I'm gonna take a shit. Oh this audience is good, watch me chew it. And he said someone's done this before, which I hadn't. And then he was doing just the thing where he has the pads and his say and I'm hitting him and he's like, so he goes left left right, left, left right, but he's moving him around and I just it seemed on purpose because he moved his hand and I just hit him in the chin.

Yeah, and he had to stop. Was the upset I think he kind of was.

Yeah, I felt I mean I I left, I mean I left the silence with uproarious laughter. No, did you I was really embarrassed, and he didn't say that's okay.

It happens all the time, all the things you want to hear.

Yeah, he was just like Jesus ow, I'm like, I'm so sorry.

I did.

I just was.

I didn't have an excuse. It seemed malicious. It seemed like I punched him for no reason. And I I also bit a piece of his ear.

Well, because here's the thing, so is it like you were kind of going along with the idea that you had done it before, and then it was almost like he immediately caught you.

The whole thing was a very well disguised humble brag because he did say someone's done this before. And I wanted you to know that and all the listeners to know that I'm a skilled I am a tour.

Boxer, but also oh natur row.

Yes, just a natural ability.

Yeah.

I went into it thinking I'd be terrible because I have a reoccurring dream where I have an ineffective punch, and I have reoccurring dreams where I can't run. You know, we all do, sure, but I can and you can run and you can punch. Yeah, but now I can't go to boxing unless it's the other guy.

Well, but I think the guy that got punched. Are we trying to act like that's never happened to him before?

Chest was really hitting as hard as I could. Oh, and I got him right on the gin.

I feel like that's on him.

Yeah, I don't know. I think it was my fault.

And it was weird and it was like, hey, what like I suddenly just didn't know what I was doing because he said, it looks like you know what you're doing.

I'm sorry, though, it's not like it's Are we trying to say that you snuck the punch in? Didn't he not have the pad where it was supposed to be?

Right, You're right. I didn't want to get into semantics.

He did kind of juke a little jive a little with the pad.

Yeah, he went.

He did a little uh fance, little jazz hand and I was aiming at it, but then it was his face because of jazz music, right.

And you've always loved jazz.

I nothing will make me start doing Texas earlier then frenetic flippy toe jazz music?

Is this a reference to an HNR block commercial? I've never seen, because I don't get what's happening now.

The jazz. My mom used to listen.

To it with the headphones on, but they weren't plugged in, so I would go throughout the house in her Oscar the Grouch.

For a rope. Uh, it was a blue fur rope and it was like just tense.

Oscar the Grouch is green. I hate to do that.

Oh why did I wait? Does he eat a lot of cookies? No, I'm the cookie grouch is who I'm trying to think of.

I love cookies.

I love how he just shoved him in his mouth. And even as a kid, you knew he wasn't swallowing.

I was maybe smarter than other kids. I knew it was a human hand.

Yeah, those were props and it was clear.

It just break it up.

It would have been as far as puppeteering goes, it's a pretty good gig to pretend to eat a cookie.

With your hand.

Pretty funny. Yeah, so those are human hands, those hands like he was grabbing cookie's human style, right, but then puppet style eating them exactly. Just breaking down why you love to Sesame Street so much, you and I and every other American child, And to.

This day, it's very important. It's very good and the Andrew Garfield clip.

Did you say that?

Yes? I did? Oh my god, Yes, it's lovely.

Yeah, apparently we all love that guy. Now.

The thing is, yeah, I know, uh.

He's like Keanu Reeves.

We're gonna see him giving up his seat on transit.

And sat on a bench.

Yeah.

But my thing is this, I love that clip, but I don't prefer and I'm not criticizing Elmo, but like, of all the people have that moment with like, have you ever seen the seventies once? I know you have because we've talked about this before. Of course, when it's fucking Grover and a little kid is having a moment with Grover or Kermit the Frog, it's like it devastating. It's Elmo, though, You're like, could you stop talking like a baby for one?

Yeah, It's it's like a human meowing. I do not like a QC voice.

It's like he's trying to talk about his dead mom, which we all can relate to, some of us can relate to.

Lower your active little.

Just don't just kind of yes and him let him do it.

I didn't.

That's the reason I started crying. Is whoever does Almo boned.

It on that I'm like, oh, and you had this gig for so many years.

And you punch Andrew Garfield right in the chin. It doesn't make.

Sense with your high active Elmo likes that.

No, no, no, no, Yeah, we're trying to talk about I'm dead, mom.

I'm so glad.

We're talking about how I really don't like Elmo's voice.

I never have I understand Elmo's like demeanor. And also, like the evolution of muppets, they can't all like I feel like Grover and Kermit were very seventies puppets. They were very like adult comedy for kids.

Right.

So it's like Almos a waiter that's in the weeds, and your parents are laughing as hard as you are because you're like, it's a funny puppet, and they're like, I used to have this job, but now they're like, no, we're going to do kids puppet for kids. And I'm like, I'm I don't know. Somehow I'm going to interpret that as I'm not getting what I need.

Right.

That's the one thing I've always loved about Sesame Street is they're not talking down to kids, something that kids.

See right through right away. Yeah, but kids seem to love elbow. So do you know what? Do I know?

We're going to get so many cards and letters about this.

Episode I've written with a feather quill.

Listen, candlelight fans.

If you're going to faverishly pen something to us, be it only support.

Be it ever so humble?

Yeah?

Am I going to be able to get over to this one thirty four moves that I'm trying to make. I'm wonder if you see.

A volvough inch in front of them, it's usually a compassionate, compassionate soul or a compassionate shoal.

It's a it's a compassionate shoal.

Here's a compassonate shoal. Right here, why don't you take that ship to Shoal Canyon?

Oh?

I don't. That didn't work.

It's fine.

It's a golf course. I don't even know why I brought it up.

Well, the golfers are absolutely here to hear all of your great golf references.

I know, I just keep trolling that group. They show up every week and yeah, I rarely mentioned.

The sport, but this week delivery. Now, will you never go back to this gym you just joined because you punched the boxing.

Well, no, I will, because I've committed to a year of what could only be described as the equivalent of a car payment, and so I'm I'm just gonna go until i'm one third gosling ripped.

Sorry, I just the notion. I know you're pretend.

I mean, it's a cough, but you're laughing at me, thinking I can get.

A third gossling. Care are you okay?

This is like that time you smelled burnt toast on your hand and I said, it means nothing, and you were in fear for your life.

I'm sorry, I don't know what to do.

I just did the thing where I inhaled what I was drinking. Okay, but I'm fine.

But if it was something serious, I still would just go I don't know what to do. You would just power through it, rift through it, I know, And I do think about that time you were in a panic concern that.

You smelled toast and I was just making jokes.

But you know what, it was good podcasting.

I suppose so people.

I guess people like it when I ignore cries for help, Well.

One more chance, okay, didn't pick up on it. I think that what was funny about that was that it was a very real moment where we were having two very different experiences, which, if you're listening to that, that's very funny. I think, Yeah, fucking Trump sticker on that truck. Yeah, come on, at this point.

He lives outside of town.

Come on, Oh he's visiting.

It's one of the many people that are voting for that person. I don't even though say the name because it puts us on a database. Yeah, that's true, but there's a lot of people voting for the Republican candidate.

I mean, I understand that Republicans that can't kind of move out of their their column because they're afraid of things that they think liberals are going to do to them. I wonder if they have considered what their own party is going to do to them when they turn this country into a fascist state. I just wonder if that has ever been considered, because now Trump is literally saying that that's what he's going to do.

Yeah, putting a doll out on the table, and he's saying, I.

Want to kill the people that like my political opponents. Like shit, That is not how it's.

Done in the least, And he's never been more popular. No, but let's not judge the rest more than half of the country.

You know, it's not more than half.

If you were just sitting down to have pie with them, you'd have so much in common.

It's not more than half, though, it's not.

It isn't no, no, I mean not geographically, certainly not. It's probably had something to do with that electoral college.

Every once in a while we get into a realm of strict Yeah, exactly.

Right, Yeah, that's what they're doing.

I can't believe that that third party came in so clear as they rode.

A bicycle by strict broadcasts just.

Saying oh, we don't We're not saying, oh, he's already gone.

Why are all these bikes riding by? That was two so far.

Also, I thought bicyclists were progressive, but I guess it turns out.

Bicyclists are progressive. Bikers are, oh, yes, the opposite.

The bikers I grew up around, though in northern California. Some of them had been Hell's Angels, but many were like they were like, hey, look, I already lived that hard life. Now I just want to kind of like hang out and ride my hog.

For many years, the Hell's Angels would have a get together in Missoula, Montana at what used to be Marshall Mountain, where I learned to ski and snowboard, and they a lot of them were what you would think, like, I maybe they've done some criminal things and they're intimidating other Hell's Angels, or they had the jacket, would like come into town with their bikes on a trailer and park two blocks from downtown and then come in pretending and

But the police force would quadruple.

They'd get cops from Utah, all the surrounding states, and they were ready for some stick time. And one night there was just people gathering around. All the Hell's Angels had gone back home to go to bed early. They're putting creams on their faces.

Yeah, they're doing their taxes in a fuzzy robe.

Such jazz heads, and there was enough people.

I think a girl fell out of the back of a truck and people were tending to her. All of a sudden, these riot gear riddled cops with shields came marching down the street and just maced us all I got maceed right in.

My eyeball geezus and while yelling what are you doing? Why are you doing this? And it's it's just that's what we're here for.

I did not come across two state lines to not mase somebody.

You're gonna have to do kid.

Yeah, they were all pumped in Prime for some violence.

Yeah there was lawsuits. You know, you can't do that stuff in a small town.

Oh, speaking of lawsuits, my favorite thing happened today. And not to go back into politics, but this is almost more just breaking news. Did you hear how Rudy Giuliani has to give everything he owns to those two workers who he defamed publicly and said that they had a hand in stealing the election twenty twenty?

Oh right. I knew that he was being sued, but I didn't know.

Who vibe basically there. I wish I could remember their names offhand. One's name's Ruby. But anyway, they've become infamous, famous because he basically used them as this example of like, these people are stealing the election, and of course they were not, and it was proven in court, you know, overtly that that actually wasn't true, that he was responsible for this horrible things that happened to them.

They've been threatened, yes, oh.

Very scary, very horrible. So now they've sued him for damages and he has to give them his car, his apartment in Manhattan, his.

Watch like they oh my gosh.

He literally has to give them everything.

He owned because he doesn't have money anymore.

Right, but they get his it's a penthouse apartment in Manhattan.

It'll be interesting when they all this stuff gets unloaded and they have the little can of black sprinkles that he puts on his hair.

And then they throw it right out and they so you are done.

For Wow, and you just you've just heard about that. That just settled.

Yeah, wow, that was like a breaking news this morning.

Yeah, watch what you say about people. I know what you're saying. Le's you're on a comedy podcast.

That's right. Then it's all alleged. Yeah, but you did punch that box.

I did, and I'm sorry.

Whatever your name is, he probably doesn't remember now I got him good.

He doesn't accept your apology. It sounds like.

I don't think he did.

I feel like that's not professional unless you were, like you want a little more. Chump did you call him a chump.

I almost started crying. I felt so bad.

But did that look like you were overjoyed?

He yes, when I cry, I laughed maniacally. It's it's the same it's the.

Same, same energy.

Yeah, so it seemed like I was riddled with joy.

This is just how I get sad.

Yeah, that's just creepy. I would be so mad.

I know on paper it was h a j aj, but uh, in my heart it was h Yeah. I I don't know. I think that it just shocked him. I don't know. I hear I am bragging again. I shocked him.

I feel dumb for even bringing it up, because it really sounds like I'm bragging.

I think it's cool.

Man, I rang its bell, do not mat I know it looks like I maybe can't pack a punch, but uh, that's only my left hand.

Anyhow, you have to sit in it.

You have to sit in it now.

In that moment. Oh, nothing will make me dig deeper than a silent hole.

We're back on the road. We're in some really nasty LA traffic, and it's only going to gheit worse as this week progresses.

Yes, we've been warned there's an amber alert for traffic coming up.

What it's the playoffs? I think the actual World Series has started as it. Dodgers are in it. I don't know.

I always judge it by the FireWire, the fireworks hitting my roof. Yeah, there's been I think we're in the World Series.

And then you said there was other stuff.

There's on Friday night, there's literally like eight or nine events taking place downtown. Oh, it's like Pink Floyd is playing, Jeff Lynn from Melo is playing. There's like three different sports events. There's USC I think is one of them, and they're right down there. It's crazy. It's too many things. And it's like, first of all, how are they filling all these things up with all these people? If they're like are there enough people? But that's not my concern,

Yeah, it's just bad planning because think of the cross section that wants to see Jeff Lynn and Pink Floyd.

Yeah, and go to the USC football game of some kind or baseball or basketball, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, which sports team are you gonna which? Which young man's work clothes, are you gonnaka where?

I mean, it wasn't a Harley, so we can't be that mad.

But it was too loud.

He's modified his exhaust.

You should punch him right in the exhaustion.

Yeah, you have to get right. Can you wave your hand first and then I know where to go? Yeah, it's it's it's it is weird that it's all those similar events all at once. Usually when I go to a town, let's say, I don't know Tulsa or something, and I show up and they're like, oh.

Man, unfortunately the show.

There's not a lot of people here because the big football game. And also a preacher everyone likes giving a sermon.

It's like, that's okay, Yeah those people.

Weren't they were never I mean, you know, but if it is another comedian that I also like, or or you.

Know, sometimes that happens. Oh cool, Kyle.

Kanaan Or and I are one block from each other, I bet.

And that has happened, has it? Yeah?

I'm like, if I had the choice of seeing me or Kyle, can they see Kyle without hesitation?

The guy's always putting out new jokes, he is.

I mean, if you've never seen me before, and you've seen Kyle within the last six months, go see me.

But if you see me this year, go see Kyle.

I was supposed to exit over there.

Uh oh, it's okay, that's okay. We were gonna this was gonna be a short episode. We're picking up our guest. No no, and it was it was only gonna be a half hour. That's people feel ripped off when they don't get full forty five.

To fifty oh no eight.

What I don't know once I start talking numbers, it is.

A blur who took the hit on the chin?

Yeah.

The whole time I was just shadow boxing and the gym was my bedroom.

I bunched myself the chin.

And see I turned it. I always turned it to what's his name?

Mm hmm.

I buy bananas just to watch them die. Yes, then the bad the bad scenes.

I love Nick Cave or do I I like him in interviews?

Anyway? The yes.

Once I start talking, I just I noticed the map to go pick up today's guest. Is it was only a half hour.

So, but we're doing the solo. It's not today's.

Guest, right, that's what?

Oh?

Right?

In the scheme where yes, where they think we're podcasting while there, we're listening, but I will admit to all of our audience we're doing more recording.

Two episodes today, okay and this.

Yeah, I know, I let people behind the curtain.

You are there is no curtain now.

Yeah, unlike that scene and Wizard of ID or the Whiz the Wiz, the Wizard of It, you know what, I'm letting people be in the curtain.

The Wizard of Is was a comic strip in the newspaper that was above Garfield, right below Marmaduke.

Yes, the only deeper cut.

Anytime I mentioned Dagwood bumps dead, everyone's scratching their hats.

Remember his wife carried him around, chased him with a rolling pin.

She was the original hot wife married to a dork. Yeah.

Her hair was in curlers and he'd take a face first nap on the couch.

No, that's Andy Kapp, Andy.

Capp, Okay, Dagwood Bumpstead all blondie. Yeah, Blondie was like, yeah that was like a sitcom. Yeah, yeah, here's your beautiful blondie boy.

It was. I can't united features syndicate.

I mean, once you get tenure there, they will not kick you out of the funny paper.

Just write a series three boxes and just fill them up with whatever you feel like in tournament. I have always had that complaint about some comic strips. You're just like, there's no through line here, there's no idea. This is three pictures, no jokes, what are we doing?

Yeah, and no one phoned it in. If you have a single panel, at least try and make it interesting. When the Family Circus had phoned it in and just show Billy going through the neighborhood with a perforated dot and you follow it like a map. You see pets, a dog, and then the doc goes to a trampoline.

Yeah, there's no joke.

It's just like, you know what, I'm just gonna draw an aerial milk view of what one of the characters did today.

Zero dialogue, always phoning it in.

Although that I feel like conceptually at least you're kind of like, oh okay, like something's going on. But like sometimes and I don't want to say Garfield because I was always Garfield one fan, and I would read in the paper, yeah, but some of those ones that were supposed to be funny truly were.

Yeah, I don't know what, Wait, why is the Garfield's dad dating two nurses there.

There's a lot of weird themes.

Did you just call him Garfield's dad?

Well, he if you read in the earlier books, he's unable to have children.

So maybe I'm thinking of Heathcliff.

Did Garfield get in cloudy dust fights with cat bones?

I am thinking of Heathcliff.

It's a different one.

Yeah, I would relate to Heathcliff more.

You do.

Yeah, he's in the streets.

Yeah, you know.

I always got my ear to the street stone, the catman that you warn me against and men.

Maybe rightfully so, but he's part of my life.

Every morning when I go skate i he is there, and he values our distance friendship with him, all the skateboarders. He brings his cats over a lot of people like him. But you would be so mad at me. The other day he's like, my friend gave me a knife today, and I'm like really, And he pulled out this classic like I don't know what it's called, but it was like a rambo knife with a wooden handle. It's like a very common military knife. He said, it's so sharp I could shave your face with it.

And I'm like I don't think it's that sharp. He's like, you want to bet.

Wait, you argued with him, a man with an.

I let him shave some hair off my neck with this.

Knife, you know what? And it worked. It was smooth. Okay, he was right. It was so sar it's a super sharp knife.

I let the catman in the van put a knife to my neck hair.

I only did it, sweating, tell you, I only did it, says I knew you disapproved.

I'm so mad at you right now. I'm so livid because also you're like, no, it's not like, why are you arguing with people with knives and parking lot Because.

I really didn't think a used knife could shave my face?

Right, But how about you just take it on faith that it can and move it along to non weapon based conversation.

I mean, he said it with such an authenticity. If he if he didn't mean it, I don't want to be around that kind of guy. So I had to test if he was really that authentic. Turns out he was, and he's moving in.

I will kill you. I love his cat you are I can't I can't help you. I don't want to be helped, so I.

Can't help I'm shooting a little video part.

It's for this I Dabble video magazine of there first gonna say, this guy's almost fifty and he's a comedian.

Show that stuff. And then the skateboarding.

I was adamant about, please don't just show my skateboarding.

Because I am.

Yes, I'm not, but it has been fun and I feel good about what I've gotten. And in a few of the shoots he's in the background with the cats. And I've posted some little clips just from my phone, and people.

Get very excited about the cat ban.

I mean, I'm not saying it took off like a lemonade coffee or whatever, but people are interested in this man.

That's It's the only reason I.

Brough trist is different than letting him shave your face near your jugular vein to prove a point.

It really was near my jugular right on the side. I mean, come on, I know.

I just thought it would be for Hey, it'll be good for the podcast. I always say, it's a skydive or four line.

I smell toast. You're arguing with me. You argue with me about smelling toast, but you're going right the fuck along with Catman about I can shave your heads for the Pope.

You think I couldn't have avoided punching that guy in the face, I gotta come with material.

You are living the most dangerous life for this podcast.

And that's the exact kind of compliment I wanted to hear.

It's not a compliment.

I'm tired of people thinking I'm a softie.

What are you trying to prove that I have a mentally unstable, quick to anger part of my personality that I've been ashamed of my whole life.

But the other part of my personality is that I'm willing to admit it.

I thought you were going to say, a quick to anger unstable friend with a bunch of knives in a parking lot.

He has one knife and a hatchet.

It's really.

Sharp.

It's the sharpness.

And the cats really do like them. I feel like cats are a lot like children.

If they don't like you, what what then?

It means you're you're sketchy, And by like.

You mean staying nearby because they're gonna You're gonna feed them soon.

Yeah, I guess the food has something to do.

I feel I feel like it.

He literally yells at them, get over here, stop doing that, and they run over. Get in the van, and they get in the van. He raised them like dogs, and they act like dogs. It is very interesting. Okay, but I think all cats finicky as they are with a food or whatever. They if you're shady and nothing against dogs. I'm just saying sometimes you see dogs with people that are like yelling and angry, and they're like, well, this is my owner.

I can't.

I can't leave them, where as a cat will be like, fuck you, I'll find my own tuna.

You know what I'm saying.

I understand what you're saying, but I don't agree with it. You're saying that cats are going to warn you that people are like you, that you shouldn't be around a person more than dogs.

I'm yeah, dogs have unconditional loves. Cats have conditional love.

It's I don't think cats of love at all. I think they're just like, do you provide resources? Sounds good?

I was.

It's that it's because you come here, it's your four age backwards. You think of cats as like, oh, they helped kill mice in the barn. I grew up with cats as like this as an animal that as an infant, I can grab his ears and drool on his face and he's just gonna put up with it because.

He knows I'm the baby. Huh. I'm a cat man okay, and I'm a dog man.

Too, and you're a hatchet and knife man and shaving in the parking lot.

And I'm all kinds of wild men.

Uh and again, and I love dogs. It is saying, Okay, they.

Will They'll love you no matter what.

I mean.

That's true, right, So I would write the whole talk.

Know you were you won that one fair and sware.

I knew if I just didn't drop it, you would finally cave, if not only to just change the.

Subject, just to give up, you know, say it.

That guy's an interesting fellow. Yep.

I think he recently unbraided a braid and now he's walking it down Eagle Rock Boulevard. Yeah, to get a.

Response, or just trying to find a canon Defrizzer as a man, that shit was all over.

The place, I think though he had a real swagger to his walk.

It takes a man to be able to pull off a cowboy hat and a moisture wicking Nike dry fit golf shirt.

Yes, he's coming from all different kinds of hobbies.

Yeah, let's pick him up.

Okay, let's see if he has a hatchet.

Well, well, goodbye, well goodbye.

Well.

You know there's moments like that we can just edit out. I hate for anyone to think that we weren't without fodder for a split second.

What I think? There's nothing to be edited in what we just experienced and created.

Yeah, exactly, it's all good, a perfect sculpture of words.

Yes, but don't let the man shave you anymore.

I won't. I won't.

When I did it, I'm like, boy, I'm into deep. But then the other day he goes, oh and this is up there with me owing?

Hold on, can I ask a question? Yes, were you a little bit? Maybe? Could you possibly entertain the idea that you were showing off for your skateboard friends?

I was alone earlier. Oh my could have killed me and no one would have been there.

Chris Fairbanks Junior, I will fucking kill you myself.

What do I have to Hey, and maybe that's what I want. You know.

I'm the kind of guy that a calm uh washes over me when there's really, really bad turbulence.

Maybe I'm ready.

And and and you know, I thought it as an opportunity and then it passed and I'm like, good because life is pretty great.

Also, that's right, I'm really fifty to fifty about this whole living.

I think you should.

I'm kidding, listen, I'm kidding about that.

But yeah, damn.

The same man though the other day, and I don't like when people do this way.

He goes, I got surprised.

For you, and he was too close and is a pierced tongue, which makes me uncomfortable. And he goes, uh, hold out your hands, and I was like all right, and he's like close your eyes and I'm like okay. He said close I'm tighter. I'm like, I'm not gonna to close my eyes tighter. And then he placed brand new skateboard.

Wheels in my hand.

Oh, and he was like the team manager from Powell Peralta was here and I got some wheels from him.

I thought you could use them so.

Kind.

Yes, So that almost made you cry, didn't it.

No?

No, Karen went all and then got really silent and bit her lip because it was sweet.

It was the lip fighting is so I don't immediately attack you back. That's all just to say, hey, I.

Turned and gave the wheels to someone else. They were too soft.

It's just close your eyes, close them tighter. Yeah, so let's just circle that in red. I n please don't put yourself in that situation over again. If he says that and you're like, okay, I got him closed, They're not closed at all. Can we at least agree on that? No more closed eye anything with this guy.

I closed my eyes and tilted my chin back just in case it was more knife play.

And then your jugular was pulsing at him, calling to him. God damn.

Yeah, I know, I know. It was uh yeah, and.

I but other times I'm skating and he'll start yelling hey hey, and I'm like not today, and he's like, oh sorry, oh he gets that.

I sometimes don't have time for him.

Then I feel bad and then I spend He's a lonely, lonely man.

Then you feel bad and then you place your life in his hands. Yeah, that's like you can make up yes, psychotic exactly.

Okay, all right, I know, I know, and it's I am.

I am.

There's a good car.

Yeah it is. I love it.

What is that big old, big Oldsmobile, old mobile.

It's weird how much I do classic cars.

Greg Baron invited me to the LA Car Show once and then he didn't go, and I went with a comedy fan friend. I recognize him from being on shows on the road, but he is visiting and I was like, Greg, come on, I don't know this guy.

But we actually had a great time.

And there are all these classic cars and new cars, Like there's a car out there with a wooden frame that solar paneled.

And it's you know about the two door spruce goose. Wait, what's a spruce goose?

It's the Howard he was playing that he made out of wood.

Okay, okay, I you know you could have Emiliairhard. It's gonna stump me because I don't follow airplay.

I wish you would. I should get into.

It first in flight? Which state?

Indiana?

Hmm?

Maybe I think it's.

On a least you want to tiebreak? Do you know I'm looking at it right now? Oh? Okay? I wanted you to know it off the top of your head. Jeopardy style.

Have you ever wondered why North Carolina license place?

Say first in fly? You did it.

Thank you for applauding me winning in a contest against you, see it was a competition. Then still support me. But man did I win?

But man did I kick ear? I asked, we are.

Oh that person does not see red or octagon?

Oh did they think that it was their turge?

I don't know why I'm doing the kind of thing, the kind of driving lately where it's like I'm going like a like a crazy kind of pillhead girl and it's working out great.

That's my that's my approach these days.

Yeah, just just floored pedal to the metal like beta blockers.

Did I tell you.

The other day while skating at Costco that all these pros that escaped for Nike showed up and I got nervous as if a bunch of movie stars were there because I'm fifteen at heart and more of them was back in the old days. When you said you told the story I did. It'sn't that funny? I thought, maybe I did.

It was very exciting to hear. That's that's the only reason I would stop you. But right, I love it. It's so cool.

No, I appreciate it you stopping me. It did sound familiar.

No, I think I was in a different car when I'm brought this one thing up that only you'd appreciate.

I'm not having the thing where I'm having conversations with people in the office and looking at them like, did I tell this on the podcast talking to Chris? Did I not tell anybody? Did I tell my sister? Like I have no fucking clue anymore? Conversationally, it's a real bummer.

Yeah, I mean it's it's hard. That's why I keep.

Making close calls with my life and everything, because every one of us we pretty much have about three hundred good stories and then.

Once you're dried.

Up, oh, we got to do the work.

But we have.

We just got continued for another season. So I'm manufacturing stories. Yeah, Rubbin elbows with the Ruffians good.

I mean, that's fine. Just up into a limit, let's have some boundaries.

Yeah, but I will repeat myself, and I think that's okay.

I think probably a lot of people do that.

I think on this show we both have let's see down this way. That's kind of what we do.

Yeah, and how we do everyone does.

I mean, if you start talking string theory, black holes and stuff with Neil deGrasse, Tyson I bet he'd be like, oh, I've actually I think I've already said this before. No one's about it, even if you have a high functioning genius mind. And I'm not saying that we do, but the two of us together, goddamn.

Right, yeah, fuck yeah we do. Also, if Neil deGrasse Tyson started talking to me about stringholes, I'd be like, Sir, I don't know what you're talking about. Get out of here.

Yeah, you'd be.

I would be so rude right now.

Yeah, do not talk, do not. I just thought it was interesting. It's my life.

It's not interesting.

You are condescending me, sir, with your skiance. It's actually pronounced.

I know how, I know why I've heard it pronounced.

I also like jazz music, Get Out, Get out of the Studio.

That's when I still developed my list, A rage.

List, Get Out of the Study of Suffer, and fuck a Dash.

Karen's Karen is auditioning for cartoons.

It's a parakeet feather in her mouth.

Oh okay, all right? Not ideal in Los Angeles to drive into the sun. No, it's my favorite.

I mean it seems silly to you know, because other people right now are just ass out Winnie the Poos style and a snow drift somewhere.

But we it's just Sonny every.

Day here it is, and it.

Gets a little. I mean, it's always in your.

Eyes Sonny in seventy six, seventy and Sonny and seventy eight, sunny and seventy three.

Yeah, there's just five degrees that it varies, but it's always sunny and it unless you have a clean car, it's dangerous.

Yes, that's right. Yeah, this is not a clean car.

No, I didn't want to say.

I mean it's it's cleaner than some other cars on the street.

But yeah, it is u healthy. What if do you have a Oh no, I don't. You don't. I know. I was gonna say fluid.

But what's a turn back there?

Oh okay, it's okay. All the more time that.

We have for this blockbuster nothing but hit solo episode, it's pretty great. It is coming to a conclusion, which is why I am turning to Casey Cases. I got a letter today and it reads, Casey.

Please do Scooby Doo Kaz please do.

Dana Carvey's act from nineteen ninety one, There.

Is a band out of Boulder, Colorado, a.

Hardcoreor a punk band called Warlock Pintures, and they had just between songs all these bloopers from Casey case and doing Shaggy and also just on the air going from and this next one goes out to the god.

What the fuck am I saying?

Yeah?

Like it just moments of rage, and it's really fun to watch or listen to. You can't really you can stare at the tape deck, but no visuals.

Have you seen the thing where James Earl Jones is recording for the Lion King, but he's like trying to find the voice.

Oh no, I love that.

It's pretty great. That's it's kind of similar and pretty great. And I think he makes jokes while he's doing it.

I will always it's It could be the most dramatic movie I've ever seen in a theater. I still sit through the credits because I'm hoping there's a blooper reel. It blooper reels are the best they are, And the best blooper reel I've ever seen is for either Grumpy Old Men one or two, I don't know which, where Burgess Meredith goes through rattles through all these sexual innuendo jokes and he is so dirty, filthy but adorable, and it's still Rockies trainer.

But he's saying.

Ooo, looks like he's taking the skin boat to tuna down like all these insane But then he covers his mouth and they all laugh. It is if you go on YouTube right now, look up the Grumpy old Man bloopers and James Earl Jones finds his voice.

It's eight o'clock on the dot.

We're wrapping it down, We're wrapping it.

Down, and we're gonna leave you with the hit machine. Kenny Loggins. This one's from a.

Yet to be titled golf movie. I've Gone back in Time, got nineteen eighty four?

Got it? Hey, walk in the street more.

Yeah, I'll tell you somebody who isn't all right? This song's called all Right. That'd be great on radio.

I think it'd be okay if.

Only there was a version of radio that I could do for a living balcony scary.

Yeah. Look at Chris go make friends with that doll the night.

I see. That's what I'm talking about. I love it. And look at that skeleton helping his skeleton wife.

Oh my god, your that's beautiful skeleton. Friends.

Uh, we like it and look at they see it's driving by there like it's working.

Honey, we got a point.

Is that my sister?

Oh? Wow?

Always, that's great?

Was it?

No?

Well, that was a fun episode. I think we did a good job.

I do too. I liked what we did.

And I'm going to wrap it up like a human and not a robot.

Great sounds good to me.

Chris, you have been listening to Do You Need a Ride? D y an a r r r r r. It got glitched? Yeah, what's that annoying?

Not at all.

This has been an exactly right production.

Our senior producer is Analise Nelson.

Mixed by Edson Choi.

Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.

Thank you, Oh You're welcome.