S4 - Ep. 53 - Fumi Abe

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a terminol and gay.

We want to send you off InStyle. You wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about every scared her?

Was it fine?

Melborn? Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride?

Ride with Karen and Chris?

Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgara. We're driving directly into the WB water Tower. Is it actually filled with water or animaniacs? Is just filled to the brim with animaiacs?

Little cat cats? Really cats?

The animated I you know, I think this was at a point where a cartoon was on and I was already drinking forties. Yeah, so I missed out on animaniacs.

Okay. The director does say there aren't any particular animal dot dot dot. They're sort of dogs, they're sort of weird deformed kids. Okay, Okay.

I do want to know if there's water in that tower, but that's something for googling.

Later.

I if we were to have to make a friendly wager of shit I was supposed to go there, I would I would say yes because there is a fire department on that lot. So and that if it does hold water makes sense. Like if one of those gigantic studios caught a flame. Oh yeah, they would need a lot of water.

Yes, you know that they're highly flammable. And that's like a small town thing that the studios are pretty much a little town.

The little town.

They have wild West.

Facades, they have movie theaters.

They have a.

Bike shark that comes up on out of the water. Now that's universal.

Well still, it's universal. Is only eight hundred yards away.

Yeah, it's easy for me. You know, I'm always on studio lots auditioning for the next big hit.

Yeah, so I do.

I assume Jaws is on all of.

Them auditioning for the next talking dog sitcom.

He bought a dog?

When's the last time? And I hope this doesn't bring up painful Oh, not a bad question.

No, there's about animals.

It was just once least like sitcom you auditioned for.

Oh wow, I do believe. And it was hilarious because when I read the lines. I thought it was for the main character. I auditioned for a couple of things in I Think you should leave, and I thought this is a perfect role for Tim Robinson. I hope that he gets it and I don't. And sure enough I watched the new season and they were all Tim Robinson filled roles.

But you do know it's his show, right right? Okay?

Yes, I was not surprised to see him.

Okay, I was surprise that they had auditions for something that I had very much difficulty not reading into his pom.

Is that a helicopter?

It's right there. Look, oh that's my coast Guard helicopter or something.

I thought it was a motorcycle on our tail with a whoope cushion on the exhaust pipe. I mean it was flapping.

That thing was big and had a sonic boom element to it.

What was that id? And then it disappeared suddenly or did I not see it?

It was kind of going, oh that way.

Are you lying to me about a helicopters? Again? The only news I wanted to hear.

We are.

Do you have anything good that you're looking forward to?

So you mean like positive topics? Yeah? Absolutely? Christ Ye. First of all.

I don't know if I told you about this, but I went to Milwaukee to visit my friend Bradford Berleski, who works in the legal department of exactly the right studio.

I went to Milwaukee for the big RNC to pay I.

Had to go pay my respects yes to them. Actually, did you see in the RNC that I watched this this morning? Trump invited Sean O'Brien, who is the head of the Teamsters Okay, to speak at the RNC because he thought Shawn O'Brien was on his side. And so Shann O'Brien gets up and starts a speech where he is addressing this crowd and he's not saying anything anybody wouldn't like, and then he goes into how much this country needs unionization and how corporate greed is unchecked, and.

He basically everyone's cheering.

Yes he does it where he's like they're taking money out of the American worker hands, like all the stuff he says, and it's split screen with Trump who's standing there looking like he thought this guy was gonna be talking about yay, Trump is the best, and instead he basically whips the RNC.

Crowd into a frenzy of pro union.

Come on, let's let's get this country together and get some regulations back. So that he was like, these elite corporate people have no country, they have no loyalty, They only are for themselves, and everyone's.

Like yeah him.

From the beginning, Trump No.

Trump had kind of my guesses and this also could be fit News, but my guess is that he had this slow realization that he thought the guy was doing one thing because of the way he looks and talks, and he actually was doing exactly what he wouldn't want him to do.

Oh I watch, I'll.

Send you the video.

It was very exciting where you can have all the feelings and beliefs and the I am a Republican, I am not a Democrat. I need to be in this area, and you can still give a shit that corporations are not paying the American worker a fair wage and any

Yeah, it's kind of At some point in his speech, did he actually turn in point or no?

That was what was.

Beautiful about it, because you can't really do that right there. So he just guided them along into don't we all want a fair wage for the work that we do, the fact that a mother has to have three jobs just to rent an apartment, like the problems all those people face, or like you're not gonna have your Social Security it's just I don't know.

Hopefully the people charing also were paying attention to what he is saying, or might look it up and realize something, because you know, you'd get cheers, kid Rock could get cheers. Or farting into a walkie talk. Actually, I'm gonna stop say. I absolutely front row, well maybe not front row.

No, no, actually for that one balcony.

Yeah, right, whenever I'm at one of these fart concerts, I'm up top with the with the little binoculars on a stick.

Near a event.

Anyway, it felt hopeful in that way where you can't disguise the fact that the average person in this country can't fuck afford anything. Yeah, everybody's getting greenflationed, like, and we all kind of know where it's coming from, which is lack of regulation and people who are greedy beyond reason.

Yeah, I think that nowadays. Like it's the same part of mentality now where like if you the fact that our phones are a computer in our pockets, and the second they aren't working, you're like, this is a piece of shit. Whereas if you told us ten years ago we would even have anything that remotely did half the things a phone does, yeah, we would think, well, won't life be better? I think that we're all just a

Yes, you know, before we had I.

Don't know, air conditioning or you know, a political a better example I could have. I didn't write this out first.

No, I get you know what I'm saying.

We're having a conversation, right like anybody a TGI Fridays.

All we're doing. We're not here to give information. We're here to show you how down to earth we are in lieu of being informed, and that's was our mission statement from the beginning.

From the we told you this audience.

Yes, if you want to really know if there's water and or Anima dac swimming in the tank, go somewhere else. We're just here to have unresearched conversations.

Also, there's absolutely an anim Maniacs recap podcast somewhere in this world. Oh yes, Oh, but I was going to tell you because you were like, I missed it because I was like a little bit too old. I was old enough that it came back around to me because I was stoned at home, like just watching basic cable and it would come on and I would laugh.

It was so good and so funny.

There's good jokes in it.

You're gonna say non stop.

Yeah, there are certain things I'm privy too because of my nieces who are coming to visit tomorrow.

Oh nice.

Yeah, I'm very excited. Although there is that uh, that fear of like, oh my god, I haven't planned out an itinerary.

But just like this podcast, I like to do.

I like to think on.

My toes andationships really your life, do it riff and through life?

Is that the name of anything.

Your next album.

I am doing a comedy show next to the pleasure Chest, which used to be there's like adult toys and underpants for grown up sure sexual things, edible arrangements.

That's not what it is, edible underpants arrangement.

When someone says edible arrangement, it usually means pineapples and fruits on sticks made to look like flower I always thought it was just a selection of underpants. I confused edible arrangements with edible underpants until yesterday.

No, yeah, I'm afraid I did.

Is that the truth? It is not a rift joke off the top of yours.

Maybe not yesterday, but a few years. There's been a few years of me knowing what an edible arrangement is, but there's been an entire lifetime prior of me thinking it was a bouquet of underwear that you can eat. And I don't think people.

The people in offices were giving each other for their birthday.

I'm like, these are not safe for work work gifts? I thought one thought, yes, yes, and I've learned. I've grown.

So you did a comedy show.

Oh I'm sorry, I'm about to do it. But it is the pleasure chest people have opened a cannabis restaurant. I guess there's well, yeah, and I don't know much about it. But I thought the comedy show should be called bong Rifts because I love it. But and I I'm like, can you call the show bong Rifts? And I didn't get a response. I really think that's a great name. Should I message back and reinforce I would do it.

In person since you already floated in writing, so you have the copyright.

You know what, it's just an opening joke. It's good to be here at bong Rifts. It'll get a white light.

Keep it for yourself.

Yes, exactly, You're right. I can't even believe I spent it now literally.

Maybe that was the helicopter we were seeing.

Oh they're everywhere.

Yeah. True.

There's still people in my neighborhood lighting off fireworks, which is the first year it's been supposed to be illegal, and I think it made people light even more off. Yeah, all the dogs are traumatized. But now that people have some left over that they'll think, well, it's a few days after a week after, but it's Wednesday, I'm going to light off these artillery grade explosions and helicopters, cops. I've seen them swarm down streets. They are serious.

Oh shit, really yeah, because the day of the assassination attempt.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

Yeah. Remember Brandy Posey and I got brunch.

Then we went to Costco.

You gotta work on your alibi story. Where were you during this all sounds attempted?

Yeah, But we went to Costco because my sister insisted that she added me to her membership. She's like, you can get gas, you can get this, this, this, like this whole thing.

A gallon of mustard. Yeah, right, you could.

You you should be on it, Karen. I was like, fine, go get a card, get my picture taken, the whole thing. So Brandy and I'd been talking about cost.

Something that was for sale at Costs, and I was like, wouldn't it be fun if, like we do as an activity, we just go to Costco and like shop around.

She's like, I'll totally do that with you. We do it, shop for.

Like an hour, just laysing around Costco on a Saturday, and get up to the counter.

What happened?

They they your card wasn't ready. They didn't believe the assassination. I tampaped, someone slipped, someone slipped, and you last.

My sister took me off her account. Oh so they were like, you don't belong to you.

Just got on the account.

No, No, I got on the account in twenty seventeen, which but in my mind, I got on the account six months ago because it coin yes, yes, And so I'm like they're like, oh, sorry, you're not a member and I'm like sorry, what?

And I text my sister, I'm like, you kicked me off.

The account exclamation point question mark, and then she was like sorry when Nora got her license, like you can all have one extra person on the account. And I figured it was so hilarious and so embarrassing. But luckily those people, Oh, look at this TV show in action.

Look at that steady cam casual walk. There's a it doesn't seem like they're shooting though.

No, that seems like maybe that's like some sort of influencer video package. Yes, but a man fully wearing a steady cam just walk by in the walkway crosswalk they call it here in America.

I would be scared to walk around with thousands of dollars of equipment hanging from a string, yes, or a cable.

It's probably a.

Cable, probably probably not a string.

A steady cam operator, you simply get a backpack and you dangle a fish and pull and with yarn, and you hang a fifteen thousand dollars camera from it.

You go to your I know, go to your grandma's. You borrow some yarn.

Stop knitting, you yell at her, yeah, give me that click clip, and you take them away from the cat who was playing, and you hang very expensive equipment. Yes, I once again I've I've derailed. When you're out in the streets, Yes, things come up. Yes, you know you don't remember what you were talking about right after a fender bender.

Also, it doesn't matter this. I think this podcast.

Is the embodiment of add and ADHD.

Yes, but at least we have an excuse. A man with a homemade steadycam walked by the front of our car. Who cares about Costco exactly. That's why we're talking about Costco. I'm always the one that goes back to it.

But I'm not going to this to the topic.

That is that.

Place there, and I say I also will abandon topics. That place there was a coffee place. I think it was called Aroma. Perhaps Okay, I did stand up there once and sitting up front was a man was writing. I thought maybe he was on the show, and so, you know, me and my crowd work. I said, are you on the show. It looks like you're working on some jokes and he said no, I'm a musician. And I realized it was Fat Lip from the fire Side,

It was that.

And I know, I guess that one.

You know that, I think that's Afroman And then I got high and then yeah, yeah that was the one hit one. But in that vein, Yeah, I.

Was so so wrong about me.

It's like the first LA hip hop that was like, oh this is like skateboarder rap.

It was.

It was really embraced, and so I my hands started trembling, like it's it's I never consents when I'm going to be so starstruck. Yes, but let me tell you, Fat Lip from the fire Side was the nicest. He laughed everyone's jokes. You watched the whole show. He hung out afterward, and all I said was, are you maybe in a group that starts with a P but it's an F sound and he's like, yes, and I just fell apart.

I bet yeah, I lost.

Talk about going from Costco to Steady Camp. I had no idea what I was even talking about.

And I hope that in a desperate attempt to right you're wrong, you flipped your shoe up into.

Your hand and answered it like a phone.

It is how I get out of most sticky situations. Hello, I'll be right there.

Sorry, I have to take this.

It's something I used to do so often, and it usually was a crowd pleaser.

Yeah.

I saw you do it at Largo one time and it felt like the roof was going to come off the bat.

There was a time, though, Sarah Silverman at a party. I was there, and then I get nervous because there's famous people ever everyone, and I Elliott Page was very unimpressed with my shoe and the hand joke yeah, to where there was an audible sigh and a headshake.

So it's not for everyone.

Well here's I don't mean to call out famous celebrities, but look does not like me for that one move.

The energy of bringing kind of improvisational comedy to a party.

Seal I was out of ten already.

I mean, I think it's a little of that of like probably him letting you know I don't need this from you.

Yes, I'm trying to hang out. I also am nervous because Kevin Nealon is.

Here, everyone's yes, it's I love being in situations where people are everyone's nervous, no matter who they are. It's great. Yes, I thrive in a room full of nervousness, And I.

Think it's a good thing to remember where especially in this dumb town where everyone's.

Like, oh, who's here and who's famous whatever.

It's like, you can't get big enough in this town to not be nervous. So if you're looking at someone and freaking out because they're there, they're also freaking out.

You can the whole thing of pretend everyone in the crowd is naked. Just take that into the streets. Yeah, everyone out there's naked.

Yeah?

Right?

Was that good advice?

That was pretty God, I'm filled with some solid nuggets.

Well, everyone's naked in the street, I.

Say, in the streets meaning in life.

Gotcha, right?

Truly, we all are naked underneath our clothes, especially these two.

They're literally doing stretches on the sidewalk.

They're getting ready to do some sort of a dance. See that's the hard part of this podcast. We only see a moment. Yeah, we only see part two when we want part one and three.

Yeah.

I just say that because I spend most of my day looking for part two of an Instagram video. That man in the pool pool, It was just the guy in the speedo.

I love that pool.

And that pool was empty for a while, like it almost looked like I was like, are they.

Taking away that public pool?

And it is back, baby, and it is bright aquamarine.

Yeah, it's public pools filled with kids. It's kind of something I haven't seen in what five six years? And he just drove by one as if it was twenty eighteen.

And also it had multi colored, beautiful flags strung up everywhere, like it's a celebration simply to be at the pool.

Let's drive by again like real creeps.

Let's to pick up our guests, and we're like, we need to take you to see this public pool.

You need to understand what kind of podcast am I on.

It's kind kind of a stalker lurker podcast.

Yeah, you don't mind.

Do you? But we keep it moving here's are binoculars.

I my today, I just wonder if there's a town somewhere kind of like in Footloos movie where dancing was illegal. I'd like to go to a town where whistling is forbidden and jailable, because today, all at once I had the neighbor, a man across from me, and the next door neighbor in a house where were whistling simultaneously.

What and I am?

I realized, And I'm in a bit of a pickle myself because I'm an excellent whistler and competitive, right right, So I joined in, and I want to be arrested. Yeah, No, I just I just it's gotten to a point where I just really don't like whistling.

Can you do an example of each of the types of whistling that were you were hearing?

Yes, it was a The neighbor across from me was doing a song I'd never heard of and just not holding it tuned kind of like a lot of like hum whistling, like it wasn't actually hitting out the lips.

Maybe they were chapped, I don't know a situation.

But the neighbor next door was just freestyling like my grandpa used to nervously do and that's larva.

Yes, like a jazz whistling just all over the place. Mistakes.

Go ahead and make them. There's more whistling to come, and that might be my lead. It was making me nervous.

Yeah, well they're nervous. There's no reason to be making that noise unless you're trying to let off a little steam.

I think.

Yeah, it's funny that in cartoons or historically, whistling is supposed to be someone that doesn't have a care in the world, like I'm just in a park with my hands in my pockets on the day away. No, you've got a lot on your mind and it's all nefarious.

Yeah you don't.

Maybe that whistler doesn't have a care in the world, but everyone around that whistler.

Oh, doing a little march at the get Did you see that? Yes, he was marching at the gas station at the.

Car wash, but big arms, big arms with that march.

It's kind of swinging, uh like uh would it be? It looked like speed walking but also mountain climbing arms.

Yeah.

Someone I'd like someone that's trying to speedwalk because it was described to them in a letter. They've never really seen it.

Guys.

What we're telling you is today Central Los Angeles is giving everything. Yes, we have gotten a slice. There's a butterfly. We've gotten a slice of every kind of experience and humanity.

What are you laughing at? Only it was the it was the the EIGHTYHD comm from earlier than terfly.

But what we've gotten today, look at butterfly is a little piece.

It is.

Yeah, there's no better example than getting distracted by a butterfly that you need to discover some sort of medication.

I get worried about the low flying butterflies, especially when they're in traffic like that butterfly was eye level in and amongst the cars on Melrose.

Right, it's not safe. I've been traumatized. I hate to bring up injured animals, but so many perfect winged butterflies in the grills of car.

Oh, I got it.

I've triggered your whistles.

There's nothing sadder than that.

Oh, just a monarch on a peter Bilt. No, sorry, sorry to get specific, but I will mention the type of butterfly.

It's fine when it's just a gross mosquito type thing insect that you're like.

Good, Yeah, take that fucker, I get out and flip it off.

I killed you.

Oh but yeah, I have the same concern.

Plus, you know, I worry about someone running around with one of those nets. You know people used to catch butterflies for some reason.

Yes, and in fact, those nets are featured heavily on the Animaniacs.

Are they really Yeah? There, it's like because they're crazy.

It's this idea that they're kind of loose, crazy mental patients, right, and so they do it either in that intro now I can't remember, but there's a butterfly net aspect there is.

You are an animaniac maniac.

I mean, it was me watching because I couldn't afford to get, like I said, basic cable before. But what I meant was just regular TV that I got when I plugged the TV in and nothing else.

So I watched.

I watched local news, I watched the Jamie Fox Show, I watched Animaniacs, uh, and I think that was it and I and then I watched Public Access and that's how we learned about Francine Dancer.

Oh okay, and tell me more about Francian Dancer.

I thought I already talked about her.

She was just this woman who had a cable access show where she would.

Kind of sing along kind of.

With local LA heavy metal bands with their songs, and she was just a lady and she kind of wore like.

Like a Vy Thompson type landing by the way, with VI I've mentioned that's a very popular access show in Missoula.

Yes, yes, but this she was more of I go to the Roxy to see any band. So she had a rock and roll element to her and kind of a like badass. I think we should just watch her at some point so you know what I'm talking about, Because Francine Dancer contains multitudes and I really it's hard to explain her cold but she but she was a quintessential public access character.

I love it.

I mean, did you ever watch much public access when it's just like people getting to do whatever they want?

Well, when you mentioned like just plugging in a TV and watching whatever was on, That's what I did when I moved to Austin and what was on? Who's the Info Wars Lunatics guy? Oh yeah, I forget his name and that's okay, Yeah, it's the guy that does the Info Wars thing. When he was just like, hey, we should question things borderline healthy early days. Yeah, and he'd play like Bill Hicks bits. Yeah, maybe because he kind of looked like him at the time that was on,

I always wanted to live in an apartment above a business. I always thought that would be so great. Please tell us what it was like to live above noodles.

It smelled always delicious, and I was always so hungry that I actually went down. Oh this is almost sad because I was just painting windows and designing T shirts. I wasn't the money bags that I am today. So I asked, if you ever have leftover noodles, do you mind if you set them aside and I come knock on the side door and you give me leftover noodles?

Isn't that a sad story?

Kind of And what did they say? Get away?

Yes, Actually, we don't understand what the fuck is We really don't know this arrangement sounds like it would be a lot of work for us.

Also, this costs us money.

Yes, yeah, but I did notice they threw away a lot of food, and that's why I came up with the idea.

Before that was in the dumpster, I would have been doing it, and.

Sometimes even when it was in the dumpster, just kidding. Well, I didn't know. I'd never eaten out of a dumpster, but.

I mean, if you watch it go in and it wasn't like a lot of time in between.

Thank you, yeah, thank you for defending all the times I have indeed watched someone take a half eaten taco Bel Burrito, put it in the trash, and then I grabbed it. I was seventeen.

I mean, these days, whatever anybody has to do when fucking food is prohibitively expensive to a degree that is against God.

Yes, uh, no judgments.

And and also when my family came back to visit me to no judgments on God.

Yes, because this whole thing.

Is his plan.

Yes, so I guess we'll wait and see it's all strategically map.

But when my dad and sister came down to visit, my dad had half a breakfast bagel that he brought in from the car.

On their road trip down, someone lost some something in the road.

Oh wow, there's a box.

Listener, there's a box that's in the road.

That box contains BMX bicycle grip and the rest is shattered pieces of plastic.

Oh and they just left it. Yeah what happened.

I think it just classically fell out of a truck.

Oh oh yeah, it was going to be some little kid's new bicycle. Oh oh sorry kid.

Oh yeah, you.

Can go if you want to go pick up the pieces and try to put it together.

You can't. Uh.

My dad had half a bagel that he brought in from the car and it was on the counter and I saw it, and I was like, what's happening.

Oh jesus Us.

A car got into our oncoming Wayne, because that's where they wanted to they had to go around, So that was more of the I think that had something to do. Oh, because I was a motorcycle sideways in the road. I think maybe the guy's handle grip fell off.

Oh.

It took him a block to be Oh my god, I brought my box and my handle grip.

Oh oh.

And then they came to a stop.

Something well and also there was a cop car there, so right, something not ideal.

I like to figure these things out, like Sherlock. Yeah, like benediccumber bunches, Sherlock.

Yes, the British, the hot modern British Shirlock.

Yes, a great show.

All I'm trying to say is that I threw my dad's half a bagel breakfast sandwich away, and then later on my dad was like, I'll eat that breakfast sandwich now, And it was like two days later, and my sister I go, I threw it away because I hate I hate the way my family eats leftover food. Days after I'm like this, I think it's dangerous. I don't know why you guys.

Do this, especially eggs, especially like yeah old eggs.

My sister just goes and we open the garbage and then just sitting right on top, wrapped in a wuinfoil.

She goes, just pull it.

Out, fucking.

We heat it up.

She goes, I'll just put in the microwave for like a minute and a half and it'll be like it'll get scorched and he'll be fine.

We're just like okay, yeah, microwave will take you can pick food unwrapped off the ground as long as you put it in the microwave.

That's kind of uh, what would we call it?

A old lives tail, a seek, a superstitious snake, a super snake.

Yeah, I know what you're trying to say.

There's someone that double decker bus that is doing a dance. I love her.

Have you ever Is it the one giving the tour?

No, it was just a little girl with a pink bow in her hair. I do a dance.

It was a pretty good idea for a birthday party. But I went to a birthday party that took place on a double decker bus. But no one knew the guy giving the tours was going to wrap everything. Oh and he was a very non traditional hip hop artist. But then after about ten to fifteen minutes, I was like, this guy is the most talented, like freestyle rapper I've ever ever a witness. Oh yeah, why he needs to get out of this tour business.

So it all kind of paid off.

I get he was living his dreams, maybe that he always wanted. Maybe he started rapping to become.

A tour bus guy.

Yeah.

I don't know what his dreams are, just because they're not my dreams. I'm not gonna say, but no, he definitely had to have higher aspirations. And hey, everybody, look right here, it's the old house of Paul Revere. Well, that would be a tour of Boston.

Did you know Paul Revere lived in La I cannot, I can't even again approximate.

I shouldn't have this mic, please take it away. I uh.

It's such a funny.

Idea, and he is such a great character actor where he's one of those character actors where when he comes in and starts doing it, you're like, this is a real guy. Yeah, there's nothing acting about Henry's dead.

Do you remember to Henry Stadd's first.

Name, Bill Wiley?

His name Bill Wiley was a true character actor in the sense that you're like, this guy just walked onto a set incorrectly.

Yeah, that's how good he is.

Yeah. He all of the clips and I so many things from it, like rang a bell, like I think I've seen this, but so many memorable moments from old sitcoms, mostly like you know, even Full House and things like that. He worked on so many things.

But he is.

Yeah, he's like casually just.

Breezing through a scene being himself. It's great.

It's great.

Yeah, And it's so funny that he had a video camera and Henry Hatt's footage of him like coming in with the camera and it's Henry looking like John Bondrophy with like a leopard like shirtless rock and roll shirt, shredding on guitar and he's like, come on, dad, why do you have to bring that camera in?

If he has that footage that we all wish we had. I wish, yeah, I wish I.

Grew up around video cameras or I wish I had some photos.

I mean, like you just wish you had a family.

I wish that.

I wasn't making up that I have any kind of origin. Was born in a shoe box. It just suddenly appeared.

When Chris talks about going home to Montana, he means Montana Avenue in Santa Monica.

An empty old shoe box factory.

So sad running a red light Nazi legal that.

Okay, we should we revisit how close we were to a head on collision right there.

I mean we can.

I'm just saying it was close.

It was Nutso the visit is over.

Oh, let's park next to this haunted tree route.

And in behind this gorgeous Teal corvette, and we shall wait for today's guests. Oh, today's guest, today's guest.

And you hear me like looking up, Oh, let me see here. I watched Long Legs and I, oh, it's been a long time, maybe since the Ring that a movie gave me nightmares. Yeah, and I had a nightmare last night.

Yeah that's what Zach towers, you know, ye who loves horror movies and watches them all the time. He goes, uh, I watched it. I'll never watch it again. It's like, holy shit, I have to watch this thing.

Yeah, it's not like, you know, it's not that feel good movie of the summer.

No, but I like scary.

Movies and this is more than that.

I watched so many of them, and I'm like, it's pretty good for a scary movie. Like, my expectations are so low that I this. In general, I would say, if you like to be scared, watch that Long Legs. Okay, there is questions at the end, and of course you'll want to google what does this mean? But a lot of things are up for interpretation.

It's symbolism for deaths. Yes, I'll just answer your own questions. Yeah, to get it taken care of right now. Symbolism.

Yes, clouds mean.

Death, Yes, yes, exactly.

But yeah, I'm I actually just excited that I had a dream. I thought I didn't dream. It's been years since I've had a dream where I don't remember the dream. I just know I woke up and I'm like, wow, I just had a very realistic dream and then it disappears. And I always thought, well, that's obviously bad to not have dreams, right, I always thought maybe that was bad.

I don't know, maybe you're like you're not getting deep enough from sleep.

They could be that could be my pin three times a night, or I thought it was my brain having a problem.

I mean the brain having a problem go to. Yeah, knowing that we have the same go to. Yeah, I mean after a while, you just can't do it to yourself anymore.

Yeah, you're right, you know, Yeah, it definitely is our go to.

Yeah.

Yeah, literally, I have something will sound weird in my ear, and they'll be like, here we go, it's over.

I can hear toast.

Sorry, guys, I think we're a little bit farther down than we need to be.

We have actually know we have to go farther down.

Oh my error, Yes, no problem, no problem, Okay, a lot of beautiful work here in this area.

Yeah, up here, I have a feeling our guest is sitting on that porch. Look at them hip elbow. You know today's hia. You know today's guests from clubs in colleges across the country.

Put your ears together for.

Fumi a me.

Sorry, it's so good.

I just was talking about when a name is coming up and I have to say the name, I can say it fifteen times successfully, but the minute it's time to perform my tongue.

Thanks for coming during rush hour.

Absolutely, there's a lot going on in this city right now.

I noticed, yeah, going from the valley.

Yeah, that's so far. Yeah, and ten degrees hotter, so it's good. I well, it could be the air conditioning that's making me think it's cooler over here. Did we pick you up at your residence?

Yes, that was my house okay, for my apartment.

And you've moved here from New York.

Is that right?

Yes, moved here August twenty twenty one, so almost all yeah, Oh wow, okay, yeah, how do you like it? La?

Yeah, it's cool.

I was like pretty depressed in the beginning, like everybody else, but.

Yeah, it's nice.

I lived in New York for like thirteen years, and so that's all I knew. I lived there from when I was eighteen thirty one, so it's like the only thing I knew.

And where were you from before you lived there?

Before that?

I was, I was living in Ohio, and then before that, I was living in Japan for a little bit.

Oh cool.

Yeah, but it's nice.

I think I'm like older now, so La nice, I'm learning to I'm learning to like this slower pace, more suburban vibes.

Yeah.

Energy.

Yeah, anytime I visit New York, I immediately am confronted by how lazy I am compared to that entire city. I'm like, oh, everyone has somewhere to be and they're going there now.

Yes, That's why it obsessed me when people drive like crazy out here, because I'm always like, I mean, I know some people are busy, but you know people drive out here like New Yorker's walk sometimes.

Yeah, you know, it's like, where are you going?

It's three pm on a Tuesday, Like, you're not you're not working right now. You know most people aren't working right now in La.

So well, there's also examples of what we just experienced before we grabbed you. Where this guy could not wait. There was an accident. He absolutely wouldn't wait. He just got in our lane on there. We almost had a head on collisions. This guy had to get exactly to what where are you going?

Exactly?

He had to get into the front of our car essentially, That's how it felt.

That's yeah, it's madness.

I question what everyone has to do.

I love that though.

The peace you're so right where like the energy and the peace of people just moving themselves around.

Jesus fucking did you see that?

That was straight out of a driver's head video.

Sir at least at least he was moving like he was like, don't worry, I'm going to take care of this.

But he darted across.

That was like an FBI training video that was a cardboard cutout of.

That was a civilian.

Don't hit this guy, Jesus chasing. I was just trying to make the point.

Like when I used to go to New York to do sets or to hang out or whatever, or to work, I'd always be like, you have to take vitamins, you have to eat breakfast, you have to like you're going to be out at this pace where you can't be casual.

This is New York City. Like you have to be.

Girded and ready and go down to the subway and like it's all this like constant push.

Kind of yes, that readiness I've lost, but I remember, like everybody walking out of their house in New York has like an iPhone charger, like a battery, like those portable things, because your battery will run out. You got like band aids on you because you're gonna get cut up for whatever you know, you get like a random towel in your back, like you just have all this stuff on.

You, but here you can just have it in your car or whatever.

Yeah.

But yeah, just getting used to like every day there, Oh I have to have a backpack. Yeah, I'm not coming back here, You're out for the day. Maybe that's just yeah.

But also, like I was there in my twenties, so like I don't even think I needed vitamins because I just had like pure raw energy. Yeah, and then I think, guys, I entered my thirties, it just got like hard to keep up, especially with COVID and stuff like that.

Yeah, but no, you're right, vitamins are key. You gotta have vitamins from your city.

You gotta kind of power up vitamins c at least. Yeah, just to just to be as ready as everybody else.

Yeah.

Yeah, I before I lived here, I thought, and in Los Angeles, I'm gonna be in such good shape because I'll be surfing, I'll be uh, you know, running, the weather's nice, I'll be outside. When I'm in New York, I'm sore every night because of how much walking I do I do there.

I was just thinking about that because ever since I moved here. I guess I'm like happy or whatever.

But every time I go.

To the doctors, they're like, your cholesterols up, all this stuff is up, and I'm like, what am I? What am I doing different? Because I'm eating the same thing. I cook a lot, I'm still doing comedy, Like what am I?

And it's the walking.

I just you don't move here, yeah, just unless you make yourself ron or hike or whatever, rock climb whatever. But you don't have to think about anything in New York because just to get just to go to Trader Joe's is like a whole thing.

Yeah there, right, work out.

I figure if I'm eating well, I'm doing fine. But yeah, the last time I went to a doctor, he was like, oh, you have a high cholesterol like that. You clearly are reading your chart wrong. There's no way. But it's because I don't Yeah, I don't know. Every day on blogs, do you guys move?

Do you guys move? Are you moving around?

You're in it right now?

Just so I move around, which is like podcast is like always sitting and talking.

Yeah for real?

I for me, I during quarantine, I started uh skateboarding again a lot with a group of guys. We all meet at seven am at the Costco and skate and right now, Yeah.

You skate at the Costco. Yeah, that's like a high schooler move. I love it. I love it is.

And everyone that I skate with is around fifty and we are skating the way that we start buying baggy pants again, like I'm I'm having a.

Healthy midlife crisis.

But on the other end of it, I've been golfing a lot, and that most people don't think that's extra size because you think I'm in a golf cart, but it's a several mile hilly hike a few times weeks. Yeah, so those are my two.

Oh how is the skateboarding going?

Because I feel like I'm trying to get back into basketball just as like a thing of exercise, but I feel like I won't do certain things anymore because I don't even want to have.

The possibility of hurting my right right.

So with skateboarding, like even a simple allie, I feel like, yay, dangerous, you know.

And at first when I because I got my hip replaced too, and so I was worried about falling on the metal in my hip. But when I would fall, I felt like I hurt my wrist or something. I felt like my body simply wasn't used to falling. And the more I fell on my wrist, the more my body could take it.

Like, Wow, it got you.

And now I'm falling all that time and you're fine and skating faster and yeah, yeah, it's it's your body just has to get used to it. And I don't even know what that is, because it's not like I'm riddled with scar tissue or something.

That's built up. Yeah, no, I believe it.

I feel like maybe age is maybe not as relevant as we think.

It's more about just sort of conditioning your body.

I think that that's the case, right right, And as we get older, we get so afraid to do these things so we just stop moving.

The cholesterol's high.

Yeah, can I give you guys a tip about high cholesterol?

Please?

And this is from uh, I know your friend Bridger Wineger because you just did his podcast.

Yes, he told me this.

You eat two brazil nuts a day, those real big ones.

Well, I don't want to brazil that you got to.

Go to like sprouts or something. And you know when they have like the bulk food.

Yes, so they're in there there will be a big thing of brazil nuts and they're like truly like thumb sized and like you know, pretty thick, and you eat to a day. And Bridger himself he was like about to be on Statn's and stuff and he got rid of his high cluster. I swear to god, I just think it's such an interesting like he heard it somewhere, someone told him he did it.

It actually worked.

This is scary of my cluster because Bridge is like a smaller fit guy. Yep, but even you know, not even skinny guys of high cholesterol a genetics thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, mine is mine. Mine's a gift from the family. What if I eat more than two?

Yeah, be careful.

I don't want to.

You'll wake up in Brazil. Yeah it's weird.

Yeah, actually your cholesterol is now too low.

You don't have enough cluster.

A rare two hundred years.

That's the worst noose.

Yeah, it causes vamporism.

Oh no, they move to New Orleans and wearing long coats.

The entire life. Damn.

This is so weird because I haven't really like gotten a proper look at your faces.

Yeah, and you never will. Goodbye.

This is like it's like podcasting, but I'm also being cooked for some reason.

The energy stay there.

And when you get out of the car, you'll try to peek in, it will just be fully.

You'll peek in and there's no one in the front seat. So creepy.

So far, my experience with it is comparing it to when we were on Zoom, those dark podcasting days. For everybody, uh in a car like this, and I think it has to do with you not being able to see our faces. Everyone is looser and more open. It's like we're kids on the road trip.

Absolutely, I did.

I did hear that, Like when you when people face the same direction for whatever reason, they open up more than rather than facing each other.

Like in the movie Speed.

Is at a plot point of well, I just know that it's construction workers and pregnant moms working together.

And keep a bus at but no one look at each other in the end.

No, No, that could have never happened on the Amtrak.

No, that's there's a reason all the subway videos we watch people getting mad at each other.

But yeah, we solved it.

Yeah.

It is a fun way to meet someone for the first time where you're just like, well, get in here and talk to us a bunch.

I know, and then later on we'll actually do the normal thing.

Yeah, very podcasting.

Yeah, later on we're all going out for drinks for socializing at the end of the podcast. No matter what your plans were, Oh my god, today I've got a haircut, and to tip my haircutter, I have to put on Venmo. He was like, don't put haircut for tax purposes. So I put a slice of pizza or something. And then

Where talked about your podcast, Oh my gosh, podcast Cash Cuties Check. Yeah, it's it's a personal finance podcast, and we talk about stuff like that all the time. You know, it's not I don't know if that is educational, but I think it's more emotional, like the emotionality of tipping and stuff like that, you know.

I think, Uh, it's.

Just I think with inflation and the economy, like it's just everything's getting a little out of control. Yeah, and I feel like, especially with tipping, it's just it.

Makes you feel. It kind of ruins your day sometimes, you know.

Yes, we did somebody like deliver furniture to her house the other day, and we paid extra.

To have these men come to our house to deliver the couch.

So I always paid them, yeah, but then we had to tip them on top, yeah, or something because there was an extra stare or something like that.

Yeah, And I hate it. I hate all of it.

Yeah.

Also the one where this just happened to me, where was I It was like Marshals or something.

You can't tip up Marshalls.

It was a Marshalls. You're strong, You're so right.

It was a place where the person it was literally, hey can I get this? You sure can uh ring it up? Do you want to tip them fifteen, twenty or twenty five percent? And I'm like to literally press two buttons and then somebody else is actually making the food.

It was.

Yeah, it was like a pickup order or whatever. And of course I I hit twenty because I'm just like, well, I'm not going to be a douchebag. Yeah, an before we never had to tip cashiers.

There's some people making money because we don't want to be douchebags. Just have the Dodgers stadium of the day. I there's a Dodger stadium. I just got a hot dog. I got it myself. I go to the cashier. There's a tip option, and I'm like, but I I there's no it's no service, right, Like I'm not being delivered the food. It's like a Panera cashier situation. And I mean, I tipped because I also didn't want to be a douchebag.

And also it's like, oh, this is a company you're interacting with the company right now that is screwing their workers over in every way possible.

So if you'd like to give them five, ten or fifteen percent, that'd be great. But it's like or all of these people it's a co op and they're making you know, as much money as anybody else. I mean it that seems like a part of it too.

Yeah, And also like with tipping, especially coffee shop and stuff. I guess it's fine even though everything is like twelve dollars now, but like sometimes you tip and they're not looking.

It's like I need you to look, you don't.

I'm not If you're not looking, I will dangle over that fish bowl with my dollar until we make icntact, make the noise with my mouth.

Am am am crinkle full crinkle am you bring your own bell?

Do you guys?

Have you guys discussed the like greed flation insanity? I mean it drives me insane, greedflation like every cereal costing fifteen dollars?

Sure, sure, yeah, I mean not like from like an actual financial perspective, but again like more from the emotional state, because they're both not like financial analysts.

I like doing stuff on Excel, you know, I liked Oh. Also, the other thing about the podcast.

Is that we'll look at our friends credit card statements and we kind of like analyze their spending habits, and that's perfect and we.

Get to know them that way rather than like how did you get started in comedies?

I don't give I don't give a about that I do spend seven hundred bucks on coffin.

That was my next question. Yeah, that's fine. I think I made it up in my head that you look at their venmost, but yeah, you actually have your guests print out their bank statements and then you say, what was this?

Yeah, it's it's it's that's great, it's amazing.

And it's also like, you know, I've done a couple of guests in New York, and the difference in door dash last seamless between West Coast and East Coast is like, it's fascinating because I think in New York you can like walk to places and pick up you know, food from your whatever favorite local restaurants.

But yeah, here you can't do that depending on where you live.

So everybody over here, like especially if you're in your twenties, people are dropping like easily a grand thirteen hundred on door.

Dash every month.

Oh yeah, and that's not including groceries, and that's not necessarily including like drinks and restaurants you're going out with your friends, right, So.

That's rant, dude, That's that's a lot.

It's a lot.

That's a lot.

I am confronted all the all the hotspot like eat on a sidewalk restaurants in Echo Park. I see kids there every single day and it's twenties. It's just like, oh, you're parents are rich. Clear, Like how do you yeah for to be here every day? I I can't.

Yeah yeah.

But it's so interesting because like everybody has like a different relationship with money. So you know people who do that like they I've had people who are like, oh, I just I buy your groceries, Like I don't cook, and that's my lifestyle. Yeah, nic I just do not cook and so and to them, like time is a little more valuable or whatever, you know. So that's it's interesting hearing that because I just I feel like, even if I became a millionaire, I don't even think I

Like, you know, you can't just blow all your money on DoorDash. You know, it's thirty five dollars every time.

It's crazy so wasteful, it's really wasteful. And I am one of those people.

Although because I don't cook, and I love the convenience, Like it feels very elite to me. It feels like a thing I dreamed about always and now I get to do it, which is like all right, But because of COVID and quarantine, I am so sick of all the food that's available to me, Like I kind of never want to see any of it again. But I don't.

I can't. Like it's not like I can go I'm sick of this.

I'm gonna start cooking because it's like then we're just in a grilled cheese chicken noodle, super old.

Yeah, I mean at that point was cheap. I mean, done the math on hiring like a chef.

I feel maybe did.

You do it for me? Could you mind running those numbers?

I really don't think it's especially if you, I don't know, if you live alone or if you have a family or whatever, like, especially if it's if you divide that number by the people that they're feeding in your house, Like I don't even think it's that off from this crazy DoorDash world we live in.

Yeah, true, I think that is why I'm confronted by spending time making I feel so strange and serial killery. When I am making following a recipe, making a meal and sitting down and eating it alone, that just seems I don't know why.

That's just a solid four solitary hours.

Yeah, and let me put these other two portions in this tupperware.

I always get to the end of like, I cooked it, I shopped it, I prepped it, I cooked it.

Now it's time to eat it.

I don't want to eat any of this ship Like it's like I'm angry that I had to do it at all, and by the time it's ready to be on a plate, I'm so disinterested.

Funny, So you have a little attitude.

I think I have a real big attitude.

So funny, but it's towards you. You're just like the two. It is not for the chef.

It's just you.

I'd like to speak to my marriage.

It's weird.

It's like, and I'm so jealous of people who grew up and like basically kind of naturally know how to cook, Like those people that are just like, come on, it's and they always do this. I'm like, hey, will you teach me like kind of basic recipes and they're like, it's easy. Throw this in and throw that in, and it's like, that is never the way it turns out if I throw stuff in.

You know what helse means, Like I watch a mavidh DS.

I can't watch like a ten minute YouTube those shorts, those YouTube shorts.

Yeah, of recipes, it is Matt quick, it's visual.

I'm hobnoestly not trying to make anything too complicated, but like I started cooking because of that.

It's like you just look at it for a second.

You're like, Oh, I just need like these three spices or these three oils or whatever.

It is nice that they like that kind of content simplifies, like takes all the drama and mystery out of it, and it's just like, yeah, you just need to buy you know, ginger pepper and some chicken or whatever.

Yeah.

I didn't even know until our podcast started getting sponsored by pre made meal kits.

I didn't even know.

You're supposed to have olive oil and things like that. I didn't have staping, And now I know what staple things to always have, and and I've learned a lot from those to where I can like make ten things. So I sort of have gotten into it. But I didn't grow up like you were saying that.

Tracks because I feel like if you're sk skater boy, you can't be olive oil. You're too busy skating for the girls.

Olive oil extra Virgin.

No thanks, I don't have time for that. I got spray paint this wall. Flip off a cop.

All the girls that hang out at Costco at seven a chilling in the road age appropriate.

Ladies, Oh my god, for.

Some six inchie.

I'm thinking the only women at Costco do early are like immigrant moms, restaurant managers.

Yep, it is just us because we pretty much quit when Costco opens, like I get there at seven, and so it's us and guys that work for Costco that are cleaning the like parking lot and we fizz bump

You know, you're in it with the authority.

It's so funny at this point in my life when someone does try and kick you out of a spot and you're you're fifteen years older than them and and they.

They have to that's so funny.

Yeah, all the time piked up by like a twenty seven shouldn't be here.

No running by the pool. You're six, dame, I know how to run, man.

I respect that you stop when the store open, so you know that's that's respectful.

Well, yeah, there's just too many cars. It's really a safety issue.

Are you just grinding and stuff?

Are there?

Yeah?

That's really all that. It's it's just a sea of curbs of different sizes.

Do you bring your own rails and stuff for no?

I Sometimes people will bring stuff and it immediately gets cleaned out. Like we've tried to hide boxes and rails behind trees or behind the walls of the dumpster area. But yeah, it usually gets picked up. But there's enough stuff there already existing. We just bring Bondo and wax and prep the curbs and and we've repaved a lot of it, which I think they appreciate. Uh.

And yeah, just the fact.

That we put some maintenance into it and keep it clean, I think they appreciate it.

Can just real quick, Yeah, where'd you get the asphalt?

Oh a lot.

I'm one of the guys that just shows up and skates and I haven't put in my I should do a little work myself, But I mean.

How does one repave the Costco parking lot as an individual citizen?

Yeah, A lot of it is like this. A lot of guys are with Bondo. It's the stuff that gets rock hard. But it's like a putty form and you mix two elements together and gets rock hard. And then we'll paint it black so it matches. Oh yeah, it's like smooths out. Yeah, it's so nerdy.

So you're treating the parking lot potholes kind of like dentse in a car, where you're just like, oh, we'll just go over this and then.

Yeah, I mean part of me wants to do it. Around the city with some of these potholes, we really do nice work.

Yeah, take it out into the city.

Are all the skaters members of Cosco?

That's funny. I think I'm the only one because a lot of guys go in after the session for a post skateboarding and we're just talking about that. I think I was on my dad's plan for a while, but I have his old card and it really just doesn't look like me. So I'm scared I'll get in trouble.

Yeah.

Yeah, Oh that's that's if you're not a member and all you're getting is a hot dog, that's an embarrassing Costco experience.

Well, you're not getting your money's worth.

Really.

No.

I just became a member, and I because I didn't have one in New York because you know, we don't have cars and they just wasn't necessary.

But I love it, man, I love Costco.

What's the your favorite thing that you remember buying the last shopping trip?

At Costco?

We get a lot of like sodas, like not sweet and SODA's, but like like La Croix, like the six cans, crazy, like sixty flas, like yeah, grape or stuff.

Yeah yeah, cucumber line where you're like, what were wee something?

They don't have that for like the regular care.

You're right, I was trying to think of because when I think Costco, I do think of a lifetime supply of condiment. Tape to another lifetime supply of condiment, like you have to give it to someone else. Yes, it's not necessarily warehouse amounts.

Yeah, we try to get things that we actually will use.

So, like, because everybody warned me, they're like, if you get a Costo membership, you're gonna go crazy because it's gonna be so fun.

So we try to like limit it. But what did I buy? You know?

I bought toothbrush Has. I got a great deal on some Phillips. Toothbrush has very expensive on Amazon.

They are expensive.

Yeah, I love the man. I love Costco.

Yeah, I don't know why I think of food, Like I'm like, why would I be a member of Costco. I don't need one hundred tiketos.

But there's every you deal you do need.

There's laptops, you know.

I go in there sometimes when I'm like, I don't because I like, especially in this neighborhood was Hollywood.

If you want to get lunch.

This is the first thing I realized when I moved to La I was like, oh, if I want to eat something, it cost me twenty dollars.

Yeah, everything, and I was.

So sick and it kind of probably won't be that good.

No, No, absolutely compared to you know, in New York, if you're really on a budget, you get a sandwich of the deli, it's pretty solid. It's like two dollars, right, Anything under ten, I feel is fair in.

Twenty four mm.

But because I was like a little budget conscious when I first moved here, when I got the Costco thing, I would get sushi from there.

They'd have these huge sushi things for like nine.

Dollars, but they don't give you chop stick there because they don't want they don't think you're gonna eat it there. Absolutely, I would just eat it using the fork for the for the other things they have about the food court, yeah, and I'd just be in my little sushi there was and it was good, Like.

You felt like that was good fresh fish.

And like, well, it's not like it's not gonna blow your mind, but it is pretty good for what it is. I would say it's better than like I would say it's even better than I don't know, some stuff you get a whole foods or something.

Sometimes, you know, like I thought it was pretty.

Solid, but you get a lot, You get like twice the amount for like the same money.

So I would do stuff like that, go in there and get a little get a little food.

And that would then be kind of like your sushi for the week, like.

You could go back to it. I eat it there, the whole thing. Yeah.

Yeah, that's one thing about sushi.

Picture a Costco amount of a flat hungry.

Boy, that's a lot of pressure. I just bought sushi for ten because that's the only amount they offer.

I just got to churn through this for the next five hours on the patio.

Go get the bucket.

Yeah, it probably looks sad from the outside point of definitely like a family party.

Set for that.

Yeah.

I I it's.

Amazing what they have there. I've gotten golf clubs there, they got muffins, they got winter tires, all Kirkland brand.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it's okay.

I guess I am a fan of Costco.

Yeah you are.

I'm just not a fan of indoor birds.

Yeah, there's a lot of birds.

Noticed this. Yeah, well it's a warehouse, it's open. The birds are you know, they kind of lived there.

Damn much like the airport. I don't like that, right.

Yeah, there's a lot of birds in Costco if your look, if you look up, they're just flying around.

Okay, I'm gonna look up.

I know me too, and I don't know something about a place that sells food. I don't want there to be birds.

You're not alone in that fair. It's totally recent.

I'm actually gonna demand that everyone took this off. Let's not eating their birds.

No birds in the bakery sections, please.

I won a lot of people know about the birds, or if you know, because you go there every morning to skate and you just know a lot about the terrain.

Yeah, maybe it's this Costco. It does remind me. I think it was in Idiocracy where everything they went into a giant warehouse area that was like a Costco times ten, and they had birds flying everywhere, and it was I was like, oh, can you imagine? And then now I've noticed, Oh, there's actually birds in Costco. I think maybe there always was, but you cannot buy them.

I'll take thirty of the sparrows.

I don't know how you wring this picture. I can't find the barcode.

Costco jokes. I love it.

I'm old, well relate.

I love saying Kirkland signature. It's just one of my favorite phrases. Yeah, a linguist can explain.

Do you have any big plans for the summer?

Big plans.

I'm doing a little bit of touring for stand up, so I'm excited about that.

Where are you going to go anywhere you want the people to know about?

Oh, I'm going to Columbus, Ohio, Brea, California.

Anybody bray prov I'll be there nine to eleven you already know.

And then Seattle and Portland, which I'm excited about. Oh, but Portland, I'm doing like a Saturday four thirty PM show.

The club offered me Wednesday eight or Saturday four thirty, and I'm like, dude, I would love to just be done by like second wow. Maybe even take a flight back that day for you.

No, that's it? Is it at helium or it's at Helium Wow.

And they were like, I know this sounds crazy, but it's really not bad. But they were like, you can do Wednesday if you want. And I was like, you know what, I did a little Instagram poll and I was like yo, like for real, like would you come to a four thirty show?

Worould you prefer eight?

And like seven people said, let's do four thirty Saturday, Like.

You know, like why isn't there Mattine live comedy? That's not about as long as there aren't windows, and you can't because sunlight peering in will it's.

Yeah, chript And for comm I will say I think and this is based on no fact because I haven't done a bunch of four thirty show. But I feel like seven PM shows can be weird, right, that's like a thing among comedy, like oh seven's weird.

Eight is per faked, tens late or whatever.

Right, people say eight is perfect, but I think four because it's so early. Yeah, I think it doesn't have the same stigma as the seven. Yeah, and maybe people are energetic, maybe they even day drinking.

Yeah, I think it could be fun.

They almost like we went to brunch, we hung out now and then we have to just get ourselves to this four thirty show. Yes, so we're gonna drink, but not to the point of being aggressive. Yeah, just to the point of can you believe we're doing that?

Exactly?

If every audience just had a light brunch buzz.

Career.

Oh no, certain cars just make me upset.

Cyber truck. What happens because cyber truck.

But it was also wrapped in vinyl for promotional reasons that helped pay for said cyber truck payments. Oh god, they're not it's going away. I get carsick.

There was just a little news story about how they're finding a lot of raccoon prints on the cyber trucks.

Buzz.

They think they're dumpsters.

Oh my god, I love it.

They I got to tell you about that.

I could never have, like QA tested that in the lab, right exactly. I love that so funny, like raccoons.

Little raccoon finger popprins.

Oh, they're gonna help us take down Elon. I love that.

Oh that's great. Of course it's a slanted box, yes of course.

Yeah, Oh I love it.

If raccoons. The minute I think I know you, you surprised me again.

Oh that's great.

That's the most terrifying tree root ever, by the way, just like destroying the high Yeah, there's just a at night when the wind is blowing. I want to be near that tree.

Do you have any This conversation went so fast, but do you have anything else you want to plug?

Yeah, please check out my podcast Cash Cuties and where we're getting this podcast.

It's a lot of fun.

I love that idea.

Yeah, and then if you thought any I said it's funny, come see me do stand up. That's kind of my thing. You're wearing a dot com for tickets?

Oh?

Perfect?

And what's say your web address?

Again? Yes, it's f you M I A B E dot com. It's just my name.

You can also follow me on Instagram at the FUMI A T h E if you.

Have my A B E and I post all my shows on there.

Nice. And this is one else I'm not going to be able to.

Is there a person?

Okay, I'm just going is.

You're a delight and as a special treat, I can see your face. Yeah, you guys so much, so much fun.

I don't want to throw your mind.

Sorry around. Oh I wanted to promote it.

We have to we have Okay, do it and I'm well wrap it up.

I uh, your friend Zach and my towers. Uh so ill me to watch? He said, can my friend show you his movie? And this guy, Zach Minor made a movie documentary called Conversion, and yeah, it is phenomenally good and they're just it's, you know, trying to find a home. But for now, for very little money, you can watch it on Amazon. So watch Conversion.

Okay.

It's about.

Bizarre religious based conversion therapy and I loved it, and that is it. That's the thing I'm promoting because I have shows coming up perfect and I was going to mention it last time and I totally forgot. What were you going to say before I said that, I.

Was gonna say we forgot to end the show, but no, But then it all made sense.

You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?

D y n a are Oh?

I like when we harmonize I went down.

This has been an exactly right production.

Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent booker is Patrick Kottner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y nar Podcast.

For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.

Thank you, Oh You're welcome.