S4 - Ep. 41 - Chris & Karen

Are you leaving?

I you wanna way back home?

Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gay we want to send you off in start.

You wanna welcome you back home?

Tell us all about it.

We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?

Do you need to ride?

Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride?

Ride? Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride?

This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgarrett.

I know it just wore off. Earlier today my brain was firing on all cylinders. I don't know if it was in endorphins. I've had it happen before, where I feel like, oh I have superpowers. All of a sudden, my brain is functioning at a higher level, happier, thinking of all these ideas. And then I could feel it waning, just in time for the podcast, which is good because people be shocked if all of a sudden, If.

All of a sudden, you were equals i'mc squaring the place.

Just white line equations hovering over.

My head beautiful minding hosts.

Yes, so I'm back to normal.

Did you exercise? Did you ever put it together?

Like?

Were you eating amino acids? What was happening?

It's happened to me before. No, I didn't. I took no drugs. It wasn't a good cup of coffee there. I didn't exercise. I just my brain was working. And I don't like that. I that that can happen because then I'm like, wait, is this how I'm always?

Then you know its yeah, Ert, that's a Flowers for Algernon situation for you? Do you ever read that story?

No? I confuse it with the Christmas story where they she sells her hair to buy him a tobacco that he likes, but he sells his pipe to get her a brush for her hair. What is it?

It's the.

I know it's what is Flowers for Algernon?

Flowers for Algernon is a story read like freshman year in high school?

Where I did?

Where you did?

For sure? Yes?

Where they're in like I think in state institution. It's that long ago that they had those. And it's a person who is like differently developmentally abled and they are studying him and they basically give him a surgery and he becomes smart. So he suddenly knows how the life he was leading was at least in terms of society limited. And now he's so smart, but he's actually much more unhappy because he's like aware of things.

And like what happened to Phineas Gage, the story from like biology or psychology more likely, where a rod went through his frontal lobe. He quit being like a quick to anger, drunk person and started he was, I think, happier, but not smart. So it was a different part of his brain. But that's your it's kind of based on that.

It's just stories of brain stuff.

You know. Gift of the Magi is what I was trying to that's.

Right by Uh. The author is one name, and I want to say, oh Show, but I think oh Show is the wild wild country guy.

That is the.

Is. You can forget it on the charts.

Just forget it. It's okay. I wouldn't once you say wild country.

Oh Henry, thank you, there's an owen there. Thanks brain, Thank you brain, Thanks brain. You barely did it.

I uh, yeah. I had a drama teacher in high school who was also our English teacher who I don't think liked me. But that's okay.

Ah, And you tell a lot of stories that have that detail. I think that might be you.

I think it might be me. Yes. Later on, when I started doing stand up and I would visit home, she was always very happy to see me. I just had to prove myself.

Also, were you sassy in class?

I was a sassy son of a bitch. But so was she. Well, she advertised her sassiness. She wore shiny, sparkly shoes.

Yeah, that's her, right, and she wore.

During it Yeah, and these big, like flowery dresses. And one time I remember a kid called her a bitch in class and she turned and she was like, you're damn right, I'm a bitch. Like every every story about her, I'm like, I'm like, actually, she was pretty cool. Yeah, but she was in a like made for TV flowers for altronone' yes, Gift of the Match eyes Sorry, made for TV movie where she was the hairdresser in it.

Oh my god.

She would play it to us as her class, like, here's something I acted in.

This is what I used to be, like, this is what I used to do.

Notice I did this here, see how I am confused and then I and it was kind of cool because she was like, oh, you acted professionally. Yeah, and it's in high school so that was pretty cool.

So that's where the sas was coming from.

Yes, And I just realized her sass maybe influenced my sass. Yeah, you gotta know how to aim and use your sass. That's right.

Uh, don't be a sass hole exactly? Was what was her name? We should give her credit?

The name of a band in my hometown, sasshole really, Yes, these friends of mine, them were that I always saw Charlie's Bar started a punk rock band and they were called sass Hole. Yes, and they were great, and they called me and my friends the baby hotties because we were three years younger. I guess.

So it was a girl punk band.

Margaret Johnson was your teacher's name. Yes, and the girl punk band, yes, was of its time. They drank beer and spit it out into the audience and we loved it.

Hell yes, yes, Where where are the lines?

Okay? There was a very healthy music scene in Missoula, Montana, and I'm afraid it's not quite there anymore.

But well, but how would you know? Because it's just the kids in their in their basements that could then have like hit songs.

I'm basing it on like there used to be a handful of like rock venues, right and now there's just big ones where you ticketmaster and you know, there's no like hole in the wall venues anymore. So that makes me assume fewer bands are going to have a place to work. But I could be wrong. You're right, it's just gone to the basement. You just don't know.

We can't we can't really know anything anymore.

Right, right, It's so true. I barely want to even bring things up because I'm like, what if I don't know what I'm talking.

I'll be right here to tell you don't know what you're talking about.

It's okay, I need to hear it.

Looks like have you ever thought of it? This way? Is what I'll be.

I'll say that it's That's what good discussion is.

That's what host to host podcasting relationships are all about.

I say hey, you say nay.

Then I say hey and you say no way. It's great, pleasant rhymes, but in different ways.

On my way, I said, I thought I saw the bird on your street, A tiny bird. Have you ever had this happen. A bird was in the road. I slowed down, assuming it would hop out of the way, But I waited till the last minutes where I slammed on the brakes. Yeah. Then the bird was pissed and started flying around my hood as I drove up to your house, and I sped up and it flew behind my car. What And it was a tiny bird. It wasn't a crow, like, hey, I'm memorizing your license plate.

Wow.

Yeah, it was a cute little bird. But I think it was having like a mental episode.

It was a bird dog chasing a car. Yeah, crazy, try to peck my tires.

No, well, you had its beak out. I do realize it's hard for them to check that thing in.

They only when they sleep, do they in winter? No? I don't think so owls do.

I think owls. Owls have the option of tucking it into their chin.

Mmmmmm mmm, Jacob.

They'll also do next three sixties. Yeah, and they will their heads can spin, Yeah.

They'll spin that shit and barf green go like the Exorcist, yep, to get you to stay away from their nest. This show is sponsored by National Geographic. Everything we're saying is the truth.

You know us by the bright yellow border National Geographic.

Hey what what if the tagline of National Geographic was just.

Hey, Hey, ready to learn?

Hey do you love the world? Hey, traffic guys, one thirty four East at four o'clock on a weekday. You'd be a fool to not know that traffic was coming.

What. Well, you'd be a fool if you had a driving podcast not to schedule it right when it starts, because that's where we get our drama.

This is content mining. What we're doing right now. Yes, I'm going to tailgate this guy with the with the Bart Simpson bumper sticker. I'm gonna cut off if I can a BMW yep, just see if we can get more people to attack.

Our I'm gonna cut you off mid sentence as I rolled down the window and yell let anyone on a bike just to bring back the old days.

Fuck you will, yell.

We put a biker in the new T shirt. We should say we have a new do you need to write T shirt for sale now at the exactly right website, and there's a biker, an angry biker. We got a scorpion on the top of the car, and of course the turtle turtles. We got some coffee, and I just now realized those are all Chris Fairbanks based things. I selfishly, no, no, no, I.

Told you to do the scorpio, the scorpion.

I hey scorpio, Hey aquarius, I I did put it in the original We are sitting in the original Honda fit. Yeah, and that is a eighty percent of the line work. So if by measurement per square inch.

It is equal, okay, well we'll have to measure it. Yes, we can't take your word for it.

A lot of the artists, did you know this? I didn't. A lot of artists will price their paintings per square inch. Really, yeah, I didn't know that either. What about quality? Yeah? What if your a tiny painter, a tiny you did little canvases.

What if you're a big painter that just sucks shit? Right exactly is what I'm saying.

It's both things. I think it's a terrible idea, but some people, I guess it's a way of because I noticed when I got I was doing art a lot, and I was doing it for people. I got better at it, I got faster at it. So then when I was charging an hourly rate for art, I was ripping myself off. Oh I'm being punished for being more efficient. Well you know what I mean, yourself, Yes, with the falling victim to this, this hourly wage that everyone's adhered to.

Yeah, that sucks, and it isn't taking into consideration your special skill and style that you bring to the page.

My special skill is that I do something I don't like it, so I really hunch over posture wise and get real detailed, and I overwork the lines. I get really crosshatchy, I zoom in, and I overwork it until I like it. So there's extra hours that I'm adding.

I mean, whatever your system is, though, Chris, it works. And listener, you will understand this when you see and purchase the brand new do you need to ride t shirt.

On soft bella canvas blanks in blacks?

Are we making canvas T shirts? That's a that's an amazing idea. It sounds itchy, it sounds like a bad idea. It's not burlap, but it's certainly no cotton.

Yes, but it is sturdy enough for you to carry a bushel of potatoes in one of your city endorsed potato races or a three legged sack race.

Are you a medieval surf well, then buy our canvas shirt.

Yeah. Permission to use the restroom, my vassal, granted, I'm the queen. I heard that. I went to the Renaissance fair here, and I heard someone turn to their boss and say, permission to use the restroom, my vessel. And then he went to a porta potty with a mountain doo logo on it, as was the time.

Reflective of the period.

Yes, it was a you know Andy Gump rental, just like in the old days.

What's the one that called oh honey, pot I hate.

That sweet tweets?

No thanks.

The last thing in that bowl.

That bowl is filled with snakes and awful.

Yeah. You mess with that bowl, you get the horns.

Get a bowl full of it.

No, no thanks.

Yeah, that's like at a campsite, you know, where the bowl just goes on forever and is filled with everybody's ship and piss. You know those ones.

Oh yeah, all campsites. Yeah, it depends on where you're at it's a nicer the campsite, the further out of town, the less maintenance on the bowl really to the brim, to the no I. It's very specific, but it's a subject that I do believe we brought up together.

I'm sure we did, because now I'm going to repeat a story which maybe can go on the next T shirt. But I'm sure I told you this one because this is one of the things that got me into true crime kind of which was like hearing those news stories where you're like, that can't be real. They arrested a guy who was in a scuba suit in one of those in one of those tanks in a public park.

Wow, the youth is not worth the squeeze on that crime. Just to get a peep through what I'm assuming we're swim goggles, I.

Mean yeah, but also to be in like to be in shit essentially.

Oh, that is the scariest horrior fun fetish I've ever heard.

Can you imagine?

I mean for a little bit, Yeah, don't, let's both stop. I just that's horrifying.

I feel like one of my favorite things to do is bring up something that people fucking hate and then just apologize after of like, yeah, I shouldn't have talked about that. I do it all the time.

I do it more than you.

Maybe this is why we podcast We have podcasted together for over twenty five years. It's because we have a lot of the same conversational habit.

Yeah yeah, and bring up some of the same stories. Often that's me talking about me, me, me me, I H yeah, I do. I can't remember why I was googling will a spider bite you? In the general uls, but I was and it very often Black widows love it underneath toilet seats in outhouses and it has happened often yea where that's where they get you. Granted, of course they're going to have to have an exact because

Yeah, we can assume.

That, yes, yes, I did. That went without saying and I'm sorry I said it.

Well are you though? But or is this what we do?

It's something I think should be attention should be brought to it. Don't be shy if you think a black widow has made it, killed her spouse and then is suddenly saying, oh my gosh, I have to raise these three to nine hundred kids.

I do think you bring me No.

I believe black widows mate kill the spider they made it with, and then they choose to be single.

Momps, sorry, I'm going to call this one a alas. Do you mind looking that up and seeing.

No need to bother them right on this?

And then should we make a friendly wager of twenty dollars?

I think what would be friendlier is a cool five, because I have it in my wallet.

Okay, a solid five is a good bet amount.

Wait.

Speaking of which.

This reminds me of the time my friend insisted that the Big Wednesday the actor was not Gary Busey but Nick Nolty. Oh, and I was like, hey man, it's Gary Busey. He's like, who's that? That's Nick Nolty. They were they were young, you know, William Kat the guys teeth.

Yeah it was a great yeah, yeah, great teeth, Yeah, blonde, big teeth.

He was about to be nominated for an Oscar. Did you know that Gary Busey almost won an Oscar for playing Buddy Holly?

Yeah? Yeah, I mean did I know that? No, But I want to say, yeah, yeah, okay, great.

Anyway, in grieving that they're going to be a single parent, they often go under a toilet seat to take it out on human Let's check the tape.

So this is way wilder than I think any of us could have imagined. So black widow males must race to find the females, and then once a male arrives at a female's web, he may perform an eight toaed tap dance that vibrates her web, indicating that.

He is her boyfriend. I'm not making this up.

I am a secret not.

Yeah.

Some black widow females eat their mates during meeting.

Oh you were right, five dollars.

But some male spiders tie up females before meeting to avoid being eaten.

Yes, they and they can have up to one thousand. Yes, you knew that.

I do. I do know this because I told you I did the whole the toilet googling. They have a way of testing to see if it's time to mate, to see if the black widow is eaten, because if they haven't eaten, they're like, I'm not going to risk it. Oh okay, yeah that they have what an interesting relationship, I mean, and very modern.

Yes, yes, I didn't. I thought that the black widow part was just because they are dangerous to people.

No, no, it's the widow thing. Is I really do kill my I don't know why I keep saying spouse. I don't think there's ever been. I've never been to it.

The charm is boyfriend sounds like the Wikipedia.

So yeah, yeah, if you have to have a secret knock, you know, going into this she has other knockers shaking her web.

Hey, this is a situationship spider. Don't even act like this is.

Oh you did seven taps? I thought it was eight. That guy is way better lover.

That's right, you're not even wearing tap shoes. Get out of my web.

Hey, you want to have sex? Top hat a cane cook?

So sometimes do you think mister Peanut has convinced a black widow spider just sleep with him.

Just by accident? Can't a guy just tap dance with a top hat to sell nuts without getting bit by a spider?

Honest?

Nuts?

One of our best conversations of all time. Yeah, it is because people are learning.

It is bizarre. And Andy Ritchie had a joke about this. The late Andy Ritchie was so great he had joked, but it was about like, why did they make their mascot? He had a monocle so he had one eye, had a vision problem, he had a cane so he's limping. He had all these ailments, like limping around squinting. Hey, buy my nuts. Yeah that's not how he told it, but that's that's how I remember it.

That's that's how comics material gets remembered by other comics who love their material. They can't seem to remember their material.

Yeah, yeah, I.

Always do it.

I always made that mistake when I first started, like like the uh I had a joke about the Tuzzi pop owl. I had a joke about the two can always his nose leads him to fruit flavors. They're all, you know, mascots that people are going to forget about in a decade. Why am I working on material about commercials? Just keep working on it because you're going to get there and eventually they'll bring it back.

And then you'll have a new hour of all mascot material. Yes, my friend and I got into a similar I would say not even a disagreement, but I said, God, I miss berry Berry kicks, and my friend goes they still make those, and I was like, no, they don't. I look for them in the store and they don't have them. And two days later he sent me a box of berry Berry Kicks and I have been.

Enjoying available online only.

I guess it's one of those huge, family sized boxes. I'm like, did this have to get shipped in from like Kansas or something?

Yeah? Wow?

Yeah?

What else did they have had? The Frankenstein had one just count chocolate frank and.

Berry Booberry, which was a ghost with blueberry cereal. Do you remember that?

No? Yeah, Mummy the Mummy have one. It's everyone from the Monster Mash.

The Mummy had it, but it was cereal. It was just dust, so no one bought it, right, No one wanted to put milk on dust. It's weird. It was just strips of gauze old old papyrus cut up into little squares, yeah, into little triangles like the pyramids.

That was where they were like they that was a bad idea. Now with mummy flavor, that was a bad idea.

Did you know that in Victorian times? Victorian people would buy mummies and eat them at mummy parties, they would have mummy unwrapping parties, and then it became the trend to eat like take bites of the mummy.

You're talking about real embalmed dead people. Yes, and they thought it would maybe give them superpowers.

I'm not sure what the thinking was. I think, yeah, it became a trend that got insanely popular, and then I don't really know what the thinking was. I just know that they did eat them, which I just is like, what and how and why?

Well, that's so because around that time, they also would attach leeches to you to suck out the evil spirits. Why would you put them back in by eating mummies. Yeah, I'm starting to think people used to be dumb, and a lot of them still are. But we're just evolving because I don't think anyone that idea would not take off these days. I hope not.

Well, just because we know so much more about like food prep safety and cannibalism and cannibalism that it's actually wrong, and also stealing antiquities.

Which is also wrong, but like me, I didn't know was wrong till the movie Alive. It's just they don't teach you all these really specific laws when you're a kid in school.

They are more internal moral laws. That you then have to come to question once your rugby team gets into an airplane.

Exactly. My parents weren't as I grew up in the house, telling me, hey, don't eat people, don't need dead people.

Yes, there will be but cheek meet you'll but unless it's an emergency, do not.

Yeah, but if it is the only thing around. My dad used to say, you eat that ass. Oh he never said that. It's every ass for himself. Yes, it really is.

Ah, that's great, wonderful.

This episode already is great.

I feel like when we are unburdened by the bye, I shouldn't call our guests burdens.

No, but I knew what you were going to say, so I guess I agree.

When we're free to riff, Yes, and we don't have to be nice and include others, right the labor in that.

Thing?

God damn it.

Alexis that was veering into another car.

Wesk an idiot, Go dummy, I need to get.

Over, And now he's chasing that person. He's embarrassed. You made me go back into my lane, and then he aggressively got back in the lane he wanted to be in.

These people won't let me get over.

God, just pull Alexis and aggressively dip in.

I'm about to Lexis the fuck out of his lane.

Oh it's too fast.

Here's the thing, listener, a Lexis Suv from early two thousand, so big tried to get over while a car was in the lane and then had to get back over. But there was a bus there. Yeah, that looked like it was about to be a three to nineteen car pile up.

Yeah, or in the bus that many people but in one car. Right, if you call a bus a car, it's hard to illustrate what we just saw. But it was danger, a lot of danger, peril.

I guess it's a compliment to the Lexus Suv because really nice response. Yes, swerving back out of that for an older model.

The driver was an older model.

I think it was Christy Grinlington Brinkley. Brinklington is some uptown girl. We had also a Lexis that was Mauv like that one. That's the car that I my parents had when I was like high school college. No, it is no bread, no bread, it's a light purply right.

You know when a gray cloud a gray cloud at sunset, that's.

Right, Chris ah Right, said the artist.

Yes, it's a lot of words to put on a tuba.

Paint, so instead ask us directly, Harold and mov that's your new lipstick color.

Oh it's not a bad idea. There are those creative lipstick names.

Yes.

I had a friend or an acquaintance really, but happened to be from Missoula. I met her in Los Angeles. This, well, now this bird's going to be pecking at our tail lights.

That bird wanted that fresh roadkill. That's what he wanted to move. Yeah, and I do say he because that's boy behavior.

Yeah, well it was that crow had a giant Adam's happen. I I can't recall what we were speaking of. It's very important.

Sorry.

This friend of mine, her job became the job that we know exists. But she named pharmaceutical, like the drugs. She came up like words like science. Yeahs like that was her job. And I'm like, what else do you have to come up with slogans or do the voice over? Just the word?

Wow? How much money does she make?

A lot?

Per word?

That is? I? Yes, per square inch?

Sorry, that's a pretty great license plate.

Oh, it's one of many a fleetive sandwich themed cars. BLT one BLT one.

Hell, yes, that's someone that loves the BLT.

It's mustard yellow. The other BLT two is bacon red.

Do you remember Zach galfan Akis.

You remember him? Do you remember him?

He had a joke that was like, if Jesus came back to Earth, do you think his license plate would be Jesus one? And for some reason that made me laugh so hard, and I was like, I don't even know if I get what he's actually trying to say. I just love it. It's so funny.

It is great. At what age do you tell a freeway it was adopted? Yes, it finding out that the Kwanis Club isn't your real parents, something like that. It's my favorite joke of his.

He's so funny, Zach.

Would I think if you really look at his career, it's kind of like Steve Martin's where doing stand up was just the beginning part that no one really even knows about. Let's they've seen that Purple Onion special.

Yeah, it seems like many people have.

But I that his career is still the one I want. But I've kind of stretched that early window for myself.

Well, okay, it takes a little while.

To grow a beard, throw a beard, and.

Then have a TV and film career. I mean he's really done it. Yeah, it's wonderful. Yeah, I'm proud of him. We're proud of you, Zach. We love you, Zach.

I saw Zach. I think I've maybe told this, but I was going in for my aerobics bar method class and he yelled and made fun of me for going into a baro methic class. And I was like, who is that person? And he was skinny, clean shaven, and super handsome and he was just walking his kids in a double stroller. Oh, and he asked me about anything he chew, and I had someone. I gave him some Kodiak, and no one knew it was him because he I

I think apple sauce is dead on. Yeah, periode care.

Peeraid carrots would have been so much better.

Yeah, but no one expects you to say period. No, that's tough.

I uh the scary man I described that has cats in his fan. I found out what he used to do for a living.

Uh.

Oh he was a hospice nurse, so that totally changes. Granted he's not anymore, you know, And I think that maybe he had a bit of a mental thing happened, but he was talking about it and had a lot of because I asked him. I just had to know what, Uh asked about the dog? Why is he trading cats? He like trains cats for what to act like? His cats be leashed and listen to commands. No, Yes, I

Yeah, And then it also tracks with your habit of just like kind of talking to everybody.

I do. I I but yes, I'm worse than most. Like he follows me around when I try to conclude, well, I'm going to start skating again, and he walks behind me and brings up another subject. But I've seen that happen to a few kids. I'm like, don't let that guy get too close. You won't have time to skate. But it's so common that at my old home skate shop, one of the boards I made did feature all of

We don't need to hear that all? Yeah time, yeah time.

Yes, Have I talked about Randy?

No, you just love horrifying details that like that. It's okay, we got it.

Yeah, yeah, Well I think he started the fire. I think he killed his net. But he used to he would always see him. We'd go to different towns and we'd see him because he'd pick up a check in all these different towns.

Oh, so he was kind of like a transient, true transient and that yes, where he's just kind of yeah, moving around.

We saw him in Courtelain and idahom, We're like Randy and he was like, how do you know my name? We're from Missoula, and then he totally dropped it. Yeah, I get a disability track here, so I took a bus like, wait, you figured out something. But usually he was shirtless out in the streets anyway. And there was Tommy the Leprechaun who did open mics and stuff, played guitar, but he used to be like in the trenches and

Because you shared open public space.

Yes, they were in, or you have to otherwise you have to leave the skate spot because you're intimidated by what one of these guys does. All they want to do is feel normal.

I talk to people, right, Yes, people need people.

Yes, that's right. See you're sold on it. I can see you make an eye contact with everyone on Hollywood Boulevard tomorrow.

I just wish that your stories had less flem in them and less animal torture.

Right, that's all right, fl You mean the way with the way I have flem in my throat?

No, No, remember the one where there was like flem on the handle of them? Oh god, it was just a flim story.

Yeah, yeah, that's all. Yeah. I get too detailed with things like fluids. But you know, I wish I worked in the medical.

That.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm interested in bodily things.

I'm not.

I don't want to. Well that's why you're not a surgeon like I will be one day if I can finally start going to school.

Fireman action, it's happening right now.

We should do the tig thing and ask if there's anything we can do. Guys need a help. My brother in law and nephew fireman. Her dad's a fireman, so we kind of know what's going on here.

Engine two twelve.

Guys, we need some polish at the base of the host dispenser and I'm just over there with a SHAMMI we don't need it cleaned, thought you guys like shiny trucks.

I'm here to argue that we should be able to turn on the heater at home. Unlike my dad says we should get HBO at home. He'd be like, now we got it at the firehouse. It's no good. Don't worry about it.

Not since White Lonas, I haven't like anything on HBO.

My dad actually watched Ripley on Netflix and loved it and recommended it to me. I was like, seriously, it's a really good taste.

Yeah, that's great. I get nervous to tell my dad about slow burning stories like that because it's not action right away. You know, Kurt Russell isn't in it, so it's I'm I am impressed, Like it's I like slow burning storylines and that Ripley series. You know, it could have just been a remake of the talented Mister Ripley movie. Right. No, the series all the details and it really. Who is that actor that everyone loves because of flea Bag, Tom Tom Club.

That everyone loves Candy you know him? He lost Candy? Yeah, yeah, sexy priest from Fleabag. He's Irish, his star has risen, he's now and everything and everyone loves him.

Yeah.

Andrew Scott, Andrew Andrew Scott. Tom is not involved. There's no Tom.

His brother Tom Scott is Tom Everett Scott. Tom Everett Scott used to be an actorizing Campini or.

Oh, that's the firehouse right there. Yeah, there was not a fire, They were just trying to park their trucks, right, I see.

Yeah. There there's always a lot of fanfare with the backing because they got to back them in and they got to turn those lights on when they do it, and they're big rigs. You know, you got a guy in back steering the thing.

I think I told you this story. But recently, like within the last five years, I was driving with my dad and I'm always very critical of his driving because if he starts telling a story, we'll be on the freeway and he'll slow down to like thirty miles an hour two because he can't do both. Yeah, but we were doing something, and I was like, that's kind of nervous because I'm like, oh, my dad's getting old or whatever.

Yeah.

I suddenly was like, oh, I don't have to worry about this.

Yeah, there's that, but there's also having the confidence from that time, and then just motor skills waning, which people don't have control over, right, sometimes, you know, I worry about that, just anyone that's eighty something, right, just it may be in your mind, you still have it, but you.

Know, but who knows.

Who knows until it's too late.

Until you're crashed into the bank.

Blood on the Highway what was the name of that? I never had to watch it, but they were blood on the asphalt, Blood on the asphalt. Yes, a scare propaganda film from the sixties. I don't believe I ever had to watch it.

I didn't either. I think it was a little too late, little too dated for us. Also, yeah, we just had a driver's let's see, it was driver's head, and then driver's training was when you were actually in the car. So our driver's ED teacher was mister Doherty, and he was such a good driver's ed teacher. But really the only thing I remember him teaching us is hey, and

Well, he's saying that because in his experience, he pulls over when he's too drunk to drive. My no offense to the doerty, No you're not.

You don't even know them.

My driver's ED teacher. I am certain as I've stopped drinking, vivid memories things I've suppressed memories are coming back a lot of them. I'm pretty sure he was drunk. Oh yeah, that would explain why on a frozen mountain road he just pulled the eve break to see what I would do. That's something a drunk friend.

But also a true driver's trainer would do because he was training you for real driving.

Yeah, except I don't think that ever happens. The the e break, which is unlike slamming on the brakes, would suddenly be fully engaged. And we went in the ditch and we had to call someone. I don't remember how that ended, but me and two other students were just in a snowy ditch because the teacher was wiling.

It's just so funny to me because your teacher was cross faded.

Yes, I learned that. What is that when you're high and drunk?

Really?

M that's great.

Yeah, when you combine.

Both originally coined because of base and treble. Really I'm not sure. Well, a cross fade sounds like something you do in the studio.

Oh yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that big chicken man up there holding a bucket.

Why don't they have him so far into the building. That should be on display.

Yeah, it should be up here, and it should be facing what if it was on a rotating thing like this sad happy foot?

Yeah, oh I missed that foot. Yeah, there that is a Uh we're looking at a seventeen foot tall chicken anthropomorphized to have thumbs and fingers. We've talked about this. I'm sure he has chicken feet though, but he's wearing jeans and a red polo.

Yeah, and he's huge, He's really big.

And why is he up there?

Yeah, he looks like he's selling something out of a bucket. Maybe he's bucket a chicken because he's a chicken music cannibal.

Yeah, yeah, that's that's always bizarre to me when they use the animal to sell the meat of that animal.

Yeah, there's a I think it's in Seattle or Portland, there's a or anywhere. Really there's a pig that looks super Oh no, it was in New York City. I took a picture of it. There's a pig that like looked thrilled and he was on the side of a butcher shop where was like, what are you doing?

Yeah? Are you just masochistic?

You're disgusting is what you are? Pig?

Yeah, sorry, pig, A true pig. I when I moved to Austin, Texas, I was so excited to be in this city that, you know, where art was a currency. As I've said before, there was sculptures like that on every other building, really everywhere you look in Austin. I think it also has to do with there being no building codes, just giant rotating, perfectly sculpted animals and monsters dragon Like the pizza place had a giant like lizard dragon draped over the side of the building, like everywhere.

Wow.

But you know, now, it's a bunch at dot.

Commerce, your right wingers ripping down the lizards.

They're just fiscally conservative, Karen, that's all. They still like to draw and paint.

They still want their own rights, just not yours exactly.

It's about me, not anyone else.

Do you know about the National Women's strike on June twenty fourth?

No?

Yeah, where do I go? I'm not sure if I'm sure they'll be marches. But women are to stop working and doing anything on June twenty fourth until we get our goddamn bodily autonomy back.

That's great, or just for the day. That's great.

That can wear a red shirt.

That'll be noticed that I hope. So that's in. I'll be wearing red out of out of whatever the word is support support?

Did you blank out on the word support?

Now there's a more specific word out of hegemony.

That's too specific, okay and inaccurate?

Uh, everyone's yelling the word. Uh yeah, sure that works. Also, it's funny. I will kick myself about not thinking of this word.

Out of I know what you, I know what you're trying to think of.

Yeah, isn't it funny?

Hey? Could you get your garbage cans further out into the fucking street? Who did this?

Well? They are lined up perfectly. Yeah, true, but they shouldn't be butted against my car.

Oh wait, I think I'm on the wrong street. I thought I was on a different street.

Be careful. There's speed humps up ahead. Okay, I'm not going up there, way different from more popular speed bumps humps. Come on. That was after the your mind out of the gutter street sign maker.

The Fergie song came out, and then they were like, we're changing this. Oh this is my favorite color of bougainvilla. That is the rare, beautiful light pink shade that I love so much. Just want to point it out.

It's almost borderline mob no some of them. That's they get older.

Sure, yes, yes, yes, I think I negate you too much.

It's okay. Out of alliance support, I'm going it's.

A word for like believing in the cause and being a part of it without being the subject.

Stand with the word. Yeah, it's it's driving me nuts.

I stand with you.

We must edit this part out. I feel it, I love it.

I think it's compelling.

It is. It's the funny thing is I know people are yelling at if they're Yeah.

I think this probably is one of the most irritating things that happens during a podcast.

Yes, for listeners, for sure. We're too proud to admit we just can't think of a word. And by we I mean me.

I I can't think either.

Yeah, out of Yeah, it's okay.

Not allegiance. Solidarity. Yeah, solidarity is the word that is wordy.

They save the day. Thank you, Onalise, Thank you solidarity. I will wear red? Is that what I should wear? Yes? Okay? Yeah? Why red?

It's just the color everyone's picking. I think probably because a lot of women, because abortion has been made illegal in so many places, women are dying, right, It's maybe to show people are fucking serious and they're sick of it, and uh, you know, and what day is this?

June twenty fourth, June twenty fourth, wear red. I'll put it in my calendar.

And if there's marches, go there.

Right, yeah, I mean the first day, Yeah, I can be there, right, Oh.

Yeah, I think I think men showing up in solidarity a strick asterisk. Oh my god, look at that crucifix.

That is really yeah, that is that one speaking of red. There is blood coming out.

Of those nails, speaking of solidarity.

That was speaking of standing up till the very end. That Yeah, it's it's real gory. Yeah, it's that was a real gory crucifix. But as I like him, that Jesus on it was ripped. Yeah, Jesus is hot. You know, let's just be honest. It's the only way people wanted to believe him.

Yeah, that's the only the only believable way. Yeah, is when you're hot. Yeah, that's the end of down here and see if we can turn it around?

Do do it? Do missus dash Why that is a perfect example. That song that that whole the product may be still but they haven't advertised in decades. No, that song, oddly is always in my head. Yeah, it's three notes and they aren't even notes.

And it's similar to when my cousin sang Molly mc butter into my ear at the dinner table when of my mom was very much showing signs of very bad Alzheimer's, and it was like one of those moments where everyone just kind of was holding their breath and then my cousin Teve leaned over and went, Molly mc butter, uh, because it was just like that's what we all needed, we all needed a little let's leave this moment right now. And I think about it to this day and it

Yeah, it's a lighthearted. It's a good way to just remember better times.

You don't have to know how to sing, because all it is is Missus Dash. It's almost more like talking. It's like Broadway Rex Harrison Top.

But there was always a little bit of a flirtatious like sensual missus Dad. Yeah, you're right, there's like a I've noticed that that same voice on an elevator when they say first floor, second floor, and then but I think it's lobby or maybe its first floor where she goes first floor, there's like a different floor seductive, and then she has thirteenth floor. Yeah, yeah, then it goes straight into Norwegian death metal.

Don't get off on the thirteenth floor.

I follow on Instagram account where that obviously the dad is like a death metal, grindcore scream band guy, and he records his kids and they are mimicking it. They're trying to mimic their dad and their cute little kids and their little Fisher Price swings and they're just go and he plays metal to it. And it's the most watchable thing I've ever seen.

I love that.

Yeah, it's uh, if you just grind core metal kids, I think you'll find it. There we go.

I think we're done with this episode, are we?

Well, we ramp it up. We really peaked in the middle. I'm doing this thing where I kind of do a review of the episode, right, and then it kind of tapered off at the end, you know, So we want to leave people kind of relaxed.

Yes, And also it's like that's your average hang, isn't it like you don't go hardcore the entire time?

Yeah? And it's not, you know, NonStop laughs every time we meet. No, I mean, yes, it's important. That's what I was gonna say. I apologize you, fuck me, fuck you you've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?

Do You?

I am move out of the way.

And then I honk it hers orry. She's like you, and then she's like, they're standing in solidarity with me.

This has been an Exactly Right production.

Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.

Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar podcast.

For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Thank you, Oh You're welcome.