The 4 A's of Gratitude Part 2: An Easy 4 Step Framework to Appreciate Others

This morning , we're gonna talk about admiration and attention , and it's just a simple framework as you go through the the day , about being Intentional , and we're in the season of giving right now Thanksgiving is next week so we should always have gratitude on our radar , but we don't , because life just is life and we just get kind of bogged down in the day to

day and Focused on all the things that we have to do . But if you want kindness in the world , we have to put it there , and we're just offering you a couple different ways to look at gratitude and to put it on your mental dashboard so you can , you know , apply it more often , yeah , and and that's it .

So Our greatest human desire is to feel loved and appreciated , and we want to be able to do that for other people , and there's a few different modalities of doing that . So , if you want to learn more about attention or appreciation and approval . Check out the episode , couple episodes previous , but today we're gonna talk about admiration and attention .

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Calm , grab yourself a shirt and and yeah , subscribe to the mailing list and , yeah , do epic shit is what Angie's wearing and I've got the other thing hot and Get a polo and just gear that inspires you , which is awesome . Had another . When you , when you wear the gear , it's very .

Just had someone recently go to a wedding and they're wearing or not a wedding , but a funeral . Wow , I was thinking about we're all over gear because we had to do our things wedding , but that was a difficult thing to do . But also , a funeral is a very difficult activity and someone was born to do our things shirt under their shirt .

He's very humble , he enjoys teaching others and he just puts a lot of good juju out there . He's not , he didn't come off , as you know , know-it-all , he just he's there to teach other people and help elevate their skill and craft . So so this in this current space and time I admire Justin Morelle .

, if you will . There are people that that you don't necessarily know or have contact with , but when we talk about admiration in this context of appreciation , like you just described as like a perfect example , it's like someone that you know , someone that you work with on a daily basis .

There's qualities about them , and I guess my next question would be how do you show them appreciation or tell them that you admire them , or have you done that ?

I'm in a professional development class , and so the stuff that he offers up to the entire class is just really good stuff .

And , and that's that's the , that's the key with with admiration , it's looking at those around you and just telling them what are the qualities and the traits of , of what you appreciate about them , what you , what you admire about them , and it feels , it feels good when someone you know kind of gives you that pat on the back , and so that's , that's a great

example .

It's acknowledging the goodness that we see , it's acknowledging the skills and the traits and it , you know , you , you exchange energy , when , when , when you do that in a positive way , and oftentimes people will be like , I feel , you know , when someone they don't want the recognition they don't want because they don't want to be in the spotlight , it can feel

uncomfortable . But if you ask everyone candidly like , do you like to appreciate other people , and people will say , yes , well , we've got to be as good as accepting the admiration as well .

This is hard , this is very difficult , especially , I know I have had to work on this like , just like being accepting of it , cause in the military it was just like go go .

We do a pretty good job of admiring others in the military and acknowledging them for the most part , but when it was time to like receive it , it was always like , oh I , just , I head down , I don't need this to be about me and you're allowing others to have the moment to appreciate you if I'm making sense in my city .

Since we've been here , she has stuck to her fitness routine . She goes to the gym , she's still meal preps , she has a great attitude and she's constantly inspiring everyone in our class to do better , be better and just be a better person inside and out . So I also want to say that I appreciate Zoa as well .

She is one of the most amazing humans I've ever met my entire life , that's awesome , I've actually got two people that . I'm super , super appreciating this month yeah that's great .

They've done something or there's something about the person and we're kind of highlighting them , and so point is , it's just another way , it's another form of appreciation , A few different forms that you can do . This is a verbal expression , so just a verbal compliment , like I admire this about you , I'm impressed by this about you .

It's just vocally expressing that to them and to your point . It could be like in one-on-one , it could be in a group setting , it could be a group of people Like hey , look at this team of people that have done some amazing things together . But verbal expression is one way .

Written praise , like just a handwritten note or a letter or maybe a public testimonial . This is why we ask for the podcast . What do you call that ? Let's talk about Apple .

Yeah , so there's , there's numerous ways of doing written praise . It could be simply on a Facebook post acknowledging someone else , like tagging them in a post to be like you know what I admire this about you . So written praise is a form of admiration . Listening and engaging is another one .

It's it's it's active listening , by listening to the person , which is a form of admiration for their insights , and it's engaging in dialogue , like asking them more about what they're passionate about or what they're talking about .

So it's just , it's another simple way that's often overlooked , but just listening and engaging with someone like here , you know , like I'm allowing you the time to talk about you know what you're passionate about and giving you that space to do that right . Supportive actions is another one .

So participating in their causes , maybe supporting them I know that there's people that will be doing some type of fundraiser or something like that . I'm like I'm more apt to Promote them because I admire them . I admire what they're doing . Recently my coach , sheena , went to Europe and Competed and she had to do a big fundraiser .

And it was just when I saw that I mean it wasn't even without a Shredded doubt like I went over there on her page and threw her some money her way , you know , because yes , so I just admire her body building and or a weightlifting . She's just east and awesome and I'm like that . So it was a way to support and she had overwhelming support From that .

She raised more than the amount of money that she needed and it's a testament to her character and how awesome she is .

And written form is great . Or you know another great way of doing this and people often don't realize this on LinkedIn . Many people have a LinkedIn profile . You can actually go on their LinkedIn profile page and submit like Highlight a skill that they have , because you can put like your skills that are on there .

And you can actually go in there and put a couple sentences like hey , I worked with this individual , this is you know , and it's . It's publicly shown and that's really admirable , because when you go on it and you're looking at profiles , when you see a bunch of those for someone like this person's , it's just okay .

This , this , this person's pretty legit , or someone took the time to do that . Yeah , it's a pretty awesome thing . Yeah , I was doing that as like a random act of kindness for a bit was like a challenge . I was doing is to try to do those a day .

So it's a great way if you want to do like a little challenge Go to go to someone's LinkedIn profile that you've worked with or know and acknowledge them .

Like I'm in like a challenging mood this morning and I she just , I don't know she kind of called me out on something and I'm like I appreciate her for putting up with that and just the just . She's just a happy person and I want to be more like her . Like she lights up the room .

I just admire that about like nothing really gets her down and I and she's so freaking gritty . So I admire her I . Who else do I admire outside of that ? I was just thinking about Sheena , like we were just talking about her .

So she's from because of she is in a sport that I am not but coaches incredibly well and she is just a beast and she's had some challenges with her life and her dynamic and stuff and she's such a giving person that she's someone that that I admire . And you know what ? I probably have never Vocalized that like I have now and I probably should do that .

Yeah , you should let her know Because she is an amazing human , and I don't think I've even told her , yeah , but yeah , she's pretty awesome which is all the reason why you know we should talk about these things more and put these on our mental dashboard , because there's probably there's a lot of people in my life now that think about it .

I probably need to say those things , yeah , more often too , and we all have that , and that's how we make the world a better place , right ?

. Final a is attention , and it's it's about basically showing up with intention , mm-hmm , and giving your attention to other people . Ie , like you know , maybe putting the phone away when you're at the dinner table or Just being physically present . We were talking about , you know , the weekend . You know what did I appreciate about the weekend ?

Mm-hmm , spending the time with my daughters with some form of attention , doing something difficult like being out in the cold in the deer , stand we there . There were moments that maybe some phones were pulled out , but predominantly we were there having a good time . I actually made a little video about it . I put on tiktok and Facebook and it was just .

It was just a fun Weekend and it was all about attention . We didn't shoot a single thing and I am more fulfilled and happy about the weekend . It's not about putting the meat in the freezer , it's really about spending time with my daughters . So it's about the attention and People want in the season of the holidays .

People want your presence with the sea and that presence with a tee right . So , then , more presence and attentive to those around you . So what do you think about attention ?

I mean I'm posting here and there but it it's great to connect with so many people , really connect with so many people , and just listen and be in the moment and it's , it's life changing .

And when I look around and I see all you know , all these people on their phones and in conversation , but not really in conversation , I'm so happy that the people that I've been connecting with have essentially been doing the same , like same as me . They keep their phone away .

You know it's tucked away , they're not distracted and it's just great to connect with people like that . Yeah , absolutely love it . I .

I mean , I don't know some of you we sit in their scroll . Okay , let's put this thing down so I can engage in a conversation . The technology is great , but it's very addictive for us and it's sapping a lot of our attention . Being deliberate , being intentional about that , is important . Yeah for sure .

When it comes to attention , active listening , giving people your full attention , there's nothing I try to be very cognizant of not looking at my phone or my watch when I'm talking to someone , not even glancing at it , because what you're signaling is there's something else more important .

You can sense that if you're talking to someone and someone's doing that , it's uncomfortable . Being fully engaged in that conversation is important . Making a point to be physically present to support people at events like this weekend Lacey Sun Brooks had his football game . Personally , going to these types of events are not my thing .

I'm not a huge football fan and there's a lot of people there that's loud and it's noisy , but to go there and show support that was really important . To be there and witness that and show that we were there and support it . Finding opportunities for that is important .

It's showing people that it's a priority , although for you personally it may not be what you want to do in that moment , but you're there in support of someone , you're putting yourself aside and you're to be there is really important . That's showing that you care about them .

You want to let them know that it's not because if you're doing that , it's not because you don't care about them and you want to wait days to get back to them , Trying to find some balance there .

But a timely response to someone Leaving people on red I guess that's a term now because you can send someone a message on Facebook and you can see whether or not they've seen it or not Feels like crap when you've messaged someone and they don't look at it for a couple of days . It sucks . So , yeah , let's see here what else .

Inquisitiveness this is an interesting one being curious and showing interest in things that you may not understand . Do you have people around you that you might display some curiosity and inquisitiveness too ?

But really digging deep and asking those questions , hey , what do you like to do in your free time ? What's , how did you get to where you're at ? You know all these different open-ended questions that I think we should be asking . That too often we don't .

Yeah , I think it would be great to get in the habit of that and really engage and listen and get to know the people around you a little bit better .

But I , you know , I engage her in conversations , I try to understand like who are the characters , who are you know , what are the things that she is curious and engaged about .

And I think earlier I had made the mistake of kind of teasing it a little bit and then I realized what the last thing I want to be as her parent is her first bully , right , and I was like I need to like what is that about ? Why ?

Because I didn't get it Doesn't give me the Doesn't mean it's not important to her and I search that I don't tease her about it anymore . That was like a fall for me as a parent and now I try to figure out ways to support it .

I'm not a gamer , I don't play any video games , but it was super cool for him to explain and show me all the things and all the different worlds and all the different things you can do , and I learned a lot this weekend about gaming that I never knew before . But it's , if I never would have asked , you know , I mean yeah , or been open enough to listen .

I'm not going to go out and game because that's not my deal , but I think it's super cool now . I had no idea .

If they're not like us , we tend to tease them or kind of , you know , make fun of them , poke fun or whatever , but we all have differences , and being Like switching that to be genuinely curious about what it is that they're into and being inquisitive is a form of of , you know , admiration and appreciation , which I think is important .

It makes people feel good when they can like share what they're passionate about , as opposed to teasing them . It does the complete opposite , right ? So , yeah , so that's , it's a little thing that I think is really important . So , alright .

And then finally , empathy , offering emotional support , just being there to support people during difficult times , to help them support their emotional well-being . So , and then , yeah , celebrating their achievements . So that's it , and we're kind of against the clock . We got to go in three minutes , right , you got to get off to .

That is when you listen to people , when you really give them your undefined attention , when you ask them questions about how they're doing and you listen . That is an emotional hug . Think about it that way . I'm just saying yeah , you can be an emotional hugger I like that Be an emotional hugger .

Awesome for doing hard things . And let me share my screen here if I can get it to work , and it's not working . I think you got a little delay here .

Terry Bray is a , she's a runner and she did recently did the the gravel worlds and gravel worlds is a . So gravel cycling has become very , very popular in the in the Midwest in the country in general . But at gravel worlds you can actually do a run and a race consecutively back-to-back during the weekend .

And she , at the recent gravel worlds in Lincoln , nebraska , she ran a 25k followed by a 75 mile bike ride the following day into some really tough conditions in the Midwest when you can have some rain and things like that . When you're out there on the gravel bikes it can turn into like peanut butter muck and it can be some very treacherous conditions .

And so she ran and then immediately did a 75 mile gravel race and some pretty tough . That is awesome and in that specific incident she displayed some grit and some tenacity . Yeah , but she is also very inspirational to her friends because she's constantly doing endurance events and and pushing herself outside of her comfort zone .

So Terry Bray is from Springfield , missouri and she's beast and has a bunch of friends out there that that appreciate her and admire her tenacity and grit and for that she's this week's do hard things .