Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises! Today I am joined by my good friend and co-founder of the DNA Surprise Retreat, Debbie Olson. Debbie is a Certified Life Coach and founder of DNA Surprise Network. She helps others navigate life’s path after having a DNA Surprise, having experienced one of her own. She enjoys using her skills of empathy, understanding, and communication with her coaching clients. In Debbie’s session at the DNA Surprise Retreat, “What’s Next?” she’ll talk about buildin...
Apr 11, 2023•23 min
Welcome to the season 4 finale of DNA Surprises. One of the things I’ve observed throughout my conversations within this community is that NPEs often explain away confusing details about their conception or births because we trust our parents. We believe what we’re told. In this week’s episode, Sam explains how she always felt different from her sisters and raised her father but trusted what her mother told her. Eventually, she uncovers a mystery with multiple possible biological fathers. Sam sh...
Mar 21, 2023•47 min
Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises. Christine Wolf is a Chicago-based author and writing coach whose focus is on memoir and biography. Her award-winning work is regularly featured in national newspapers, magazines, and on live storytelling stages. Through her compassionate and trauma-informed approach, Wolf empowers writers and non-writers alike to find their authentic voices. In 2018, Wolf lost a younger sister suddenly; in 2022, thanks to a home DNA kit, she discovered an older sister...
Mar 16, 2023•32 min
Sometimes DNA surprises lead to flourishing relationships with newfound family, but sometimes they do not. In this week’s episode, Angie shares how a comment from her birth certificate father’s wife revealed a non-paternal event. She discusses how she identified her biological father with the help of DNAngels and her disappointment at his unwillingness to build a relationship. Angie also shares how she reached a place of compassion for him and his family, as well as her mother. Thank you, Angie,...
Mar 14, 2023•54 min
Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Lindsay Johnson, a registered nurse, board-certified nurse coach, and integrative health coach who cares for the caregiver through stress, burnout, and trauma healing. She utilizes various methodologies in her practice, including mindful listening, transformative coaching, somatic experience and trauma healing, mindfulness, HeartMath, and gentle accountability. Lindsay helps her clients reconnect to themselves and their ...
Mar 09, 2023•25 min
DNA surprises can cause major disruptions to our interpersonal relationships, particularly the bonds we have with our raised parents. But often what most affects those relationships isn’t the surprises themselves, but how people act afterward. In this episode, Stacy shares how she uncovered not one, but two NPEs throughout her life. She shares how she’s built amazing relationships with her newfound family and how things have unfortunately deteriorated with her mother. At the very end of this epi...
Mar 07, 2023•1 hr 2 min
When people experience DNA surprises, the range of emotions they feel can be wide. There’s sadness. There’s confusion. There’s happiness, sometimes. And often, there is anger. In this week’s episode, Aly shares how she felt when she learned that her birth certificate father isn’t her biological father and that she was born after a years-long affair between her mother and a colleague. She discusses how it’s been difficult to get the truth from her mother, how her relationship with her biological ...
Feb 28, 2023•50 min
Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Jennica Klemann, an Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Arizona Licensed Massage Therapist. She specializes in a variety of losses including death, divorce, loss of health, child loss, pet loss, and complicated familial dynamics, just to name a few. Jennica is facilitating a session on grief at the DNA surprise retreat. In this episode, we discuss the different kinds of grief, misconceptions about grief, and...
Feb 23, 2023•27 min
Sometimes DNA surprises aren’t surprising at all, but validating. In this week’s episode, Kim shares how she learned that after feeling different from her family her entire life, she is not genetically related to her raised father. She also learned that she isn’t white as she believed, but descends from a large Mexican family. She shares how she’s processing her surprise and connecting with her family. After my interview with Kim, she decided to turn her DNA surprise into support for others. At ...
Feb 21, 2023•57 min
Oftentimes in the DNA surprise community, one NPE leads to another. In this week’s episode, Scarlett shares how she learned she was an NPE, only to learn that the man her mother identified wasn’t her biological father, either. She tells us about her tumultuous upbringing, how her relationship with her raised family and newfound family is progressing, and how she tackled processing her DNA surprise. I spoke with Scarlett in July of last year, just a short time after her discovery in March. Stay t...
Feb 14, 2023•54 min
One of the things people in the DNA surprise community contend with is that we’ll never have all of the answers to our questions. In this week’s episode, Debra shares her story. She grew up with her mother and stepfather and was largely estranged from the man she believed to be her father. After reconnecting and building a relationship, she learned that the man on her birth certificate is not biologically related to her. Debra shares how she uncovered the truth, what she’s learned so far, and ho...
Feb 07, 2023•46 min
In this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Jennifer Spencer, who is facilitating a session on Radical Acceptance at the DNA Surprise Retreat . Jennifer is a licensed professional counselor who works with people who want to make lasting change for themselves to better their relationships, enjoy life, and make an overall life worth living. She specializes in DBT, CBT, ACT, and EMDR. In our discussion, we chat about what Radical Acceptance is - and is not, and why it’s impor...
Feb 02, 2023•23 min
DNA surprises often shake the very core of what we believe our identities to be. In this week’s episode, Laurie shares how she went from believing she was the only child of two concentration camp survivors of the Holocaust to learning she is one of at least 6 siblings - half of whom were born as the result of assisted reproduction. Laurie always knew her parents went to a fertility doctor but she had no idea that she was donor conceived. She shares how she learned of her donor conception, who sh...
Jan 31, 2023•39 min
This week’s story tells not one, but two, shocking DNA discoveries. Growing up, Phil believed that the parents who raised him were his biological parents. As a child, he learned that his biological mother abandoned him and he was raised by his stepmother. Decades later, he learned that his raised father isn’t his biological parent, either. This episode contains references to suicide, child abuse, and child sexual abuse. If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm, please call or text 988. I...
Jan 24, 2023•44 min
How would you feel if you learned that your biological father was a constant presence in your life, despite being raised under the belief that another man shared your DNA? In this week’s episode, Shannon shares how she learned that her biological father was a longtime family friend who even taught her how to tie her shoes. I spoke with Shannon just four months after her DNA surprise. She offers a fresh perspective on the immediate aftermath of a discovery, including what she’s doing to process a...
Jan 17, 2023•40 min
In this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Megan Irwin, who will be facilitating a session on Trauma at the DNA Surprise Retreat . Megan is a licensed therapist specializing in grief and loss, trauma/PTSD, and associated challenges. She serves as a compassionate witness and guide for her clients’ healing and personal growth. Megan will facilitate a session called “Big T, Little t” on how DNA surprise traumas affect our bodies and minds. She’ll also empower us with tools t...
Jan 12, 2023•46 min
Every DNA surprise is unique and layered, and this is especially true for those who have major shifts in ethnicity. In this week’s episode, Robin shares her NPE journey, which began more than a decade ago. Robin was always proud of her blackness. But when she made her discovery, she not only learned that her dad is not her biological father, but that her biological father is white—and racist. She shares how her discovery has affected her sense of self and her relationships. Thank you for sharing...
Jan 10, 2023•44 min
Welcome to Season 4 of DNA Surprises. In our first episode of the season, Natalie shares her NPE story. When Natalie experienced her surprise, she had no idea that she was uncovering her mother’s decade’s-long secret about Natalie and her brother. So many of us are desperate for answers when we first uncover a DNA surprise. Natalie’s story perfectly captures how we often learn more and more truths as time passes. Thanks to Natalie for sharing her story. Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community !...
Jan 03, 2023•51 min
Welcome to the Season 3 finale of DNA surprises. In this week’s episode, Kiara Rae Schuh shares her journey as she connected with her fellow donor-conceived siblings and eventually, her donor. Kiara discusses the importance of her chosen family, which is also the name of her brand new book, and how her mother’s openness about using assisted reproduction informs her views of donor conception and family structures. She also reveals a DNA surprise that she didn’t see coming. Thanks to Kiara for sha...
Nov 22, 2022•43 min
DNA surprises are often uncovered after innocent intentions. When Stacy’s daughter decided to take a DNA test to learn more about her father’s side of the family because he was adopted, she didn’t suspect that she’d uncover her mother’s NPE. Stacy shares how she always felt different from her family and how she is forging new relationships with her biological father, step-mom, and newfound sisters. She also discusses how her discovery has affected her relationship with her mother. Thank you for ...
Nov 15, 2022•44 min
Not every DNA surprise is filled with trauma and upset. In this week’s episode, Guy joins me for a delightful conversation about his NPE discovery. He discusses why he always felt like he didn’t fit in and the other reasons he attributed to his outsider status in his family. He shares why he feels vindicated and relieved to learn that he is an NPE and how he’s tackling his case like a detective. Thank you for sharing your story, Guy. Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community !...
Nov 08, 2022•1 hr 6 min
In this week’s episode of DNA Surprises, Karen shares what’s happened since she last shared her DNA surprise story. You can hear the first part of her story on Lily Wood’s podcast, NPE Stories - Karen C’s story . As a quick content warning, there is a brief mention of suicide and some discussion about heavy alcohol use. Karen shares how she found her biological father, someone she actually remembers when she was young. She also uncovered multiple NPEs on her bio dad’s side of the family. She sha...
Nov 01, 2022•34 min
DNA surprises are often bittersweet. The results we receive via consumer DNA testing can lead to upset and confusion, but they also can answer long-held questions and lay the foundation for new relationships. In this week’s episode, Bonnie shares how she always knew that she didn’t know her father, but once she started searching, she found answers she didn’t expect. Her journey to identifying her biological father includes many twists and turns. She shares how she was able to track down her bio ...
Oct 25, 2022•50 min
One of the things we talk about often within the DNA Surprise community is the ripple effect. Surprises don't only affect NPEs, donor-conceived people, and adoptees - they affect their parents, their children, friends, spouses, and other family members. In this week’s episode, Kim shares how she helped uncover the complicated story of her Granda Mary, who had several NPE children. She discusses what steps she took to put the pieces together and how her work has affected her relationship with her...
Oct 18, 2022•48 min
Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises! I had the privilege of speaking with Kara and Alesia from Right to Know about all of the amazing work they do for the MPE, DCP, and adoptee communities. They also share some exciting news about their upcoming Untangling Our Roots Summit. The event is scheduled for March 30-April 1 and tickets are on sale now! I’ll be there for the podcasters meet and greet as well as participating in a panel alongside Eve Sturges from Everything’s Relative and Lily Wo...
Oct 17, 2022•48 min
The DNA Surprise community is very familiar with shame and stigma. this week’s episode tackles a taboo subject. Shardae took her DNA test for the same reason many Americans do - out of curiosity about her family’s indigenous ties. What she uncovered is that her birth certificate father is not her biological father - she is the product of a one-time encounter between her mother and her mother’s first cousin. Shardae talks about how she’s navigating this information and processing the stigma aroun...
Oct 11, 2022•46 min
DNA Surprises aren’t limited to NPEs. In this week’s episode, Debbie shares how she always knew she was adopted, and later learned her biological father was dead. Little did she know that a consumer DNA test would change everything. Debbie shares what’s been helpful to her throughout her journey and how she’s used her own experience to help others. On that note, please stay tuned until the very end of this episode, when Debbie and I share a very special announcement. You don’t want to miss it! F...
Oct 04, 2022•32 min
NPEs come from all backgrounds, but all too often, the stories we hear involve childhood abuse. In this week’s episode, Bianca shares her difficult journey to finding out that she is an NPE. First, a content warning: Bianca’s story includes discussion of drug use, rape, and abuse, and is not suitable for all listeners. If you or anyone you know are a victim of rape or sexual assault, please call the National Sexual Abuse Hotline at 1-800-656-4673. SAHMSA : 1-800-662-4357 ChildHelp : 1-800-422-44...
Sep 27, 2022•48 min
One of the most interesting things about the DNA surprise community is how much intersection there is between adoptees, donor-conceived people, and NPEs. In this week’s episode, Hayley, who was one of the first people conceived through IVF in the UK, shares her NPE story. While she knew from a young age that she was conceived through IVF, it wasn’t until she was in her 30s that she learned her raised father is not her genetic parent. As a DCP, Hayley has a unique perspective as she embarked on h...
Sep 20, 2022•52 min
Sometimes DNA surprises reveal that bio fathers are people known to the NPE, however unexpected. In this week's episode, Devin shares how a DNA test revealed that he is one of more than a dozen children - some of his siblings old enough to be his grandparent. He shares how he’s connected with those siblings, and how his discovery has affected his relationship with his mother. Thanks for sharing your story, Devin. Thank you for sharing your story, Devin. Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community !...
Sep 13, 2022•30 min
