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You.
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Welcome, friends, to the discovering your Calling podcast. I'm your host, Sheri Miter, and I am here with my new friend Tia Jensen. And I want to tell you a little bit about Tia, and then we'll have her hop on and share a little bit about herself and her whole story. Well, a portion of her story we don't have time right. For everyone's whole story.
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Right. The most impactful part of her story that that we're going to talk about for today. But Tia is a certified life coach who serves people with ADHD by customizing her coaching to work with their unique brain. We will definitely be talking a lot about that today. She teaches them tools and techniques so they can release overwhelm and create a life they love.
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If you're ready to love your beautiful ADHD brain and learn to harness your superpowers, Tia is your person. And of course, everything in that description, Tia speaks to what I'm passionate about helping people love their life, stepping into your superpowers. So I'm so excited to have this conversation with you. So welcome to the podcast. Thank you.
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I am super excited to have this conversation, too, especially with someone I know we share those common interests and views for our world. Absolutely. And I know we've already been chatting, and I just said to you beforehand that a lot of what you share for tips and tools for the ADHD, specifically specific brain, I think we could all take pieces of that away. Maybe it's the age, too. Well, that does play into some of it, for real.
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But share with the listeners a little bit about what you do today, and then we'll take the story backwards. But let's start with today. Okay, so today I'm a single mom, and my baby just turned 18 this year. So about to be that empty nester mom. And I got certified as a life coach because I just have this grand love for people in the world and to help people.
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And it took me a while to get to the place where I decided to niche down for ADHD people, because, like you said, there are a lot of things that speak to all the people, but people who are neurotypical have some additional challenges that a neurotypical person doesn't have. So while all the things I teach could help anyone, some of the things that are out there to help neurotypicals don't actually speak to someone who's neurodivergent. So that's where my heart is, helping the neurodivergent people out there who are struggling. And if anyone else wants to come along for the ride, I welcome everyone because I love all the people. Yeah.
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And that totally makes sense that, yes, anybody can learn from this, but you're hitting a segment of people that not everybody's touched on, not everybody the way they teach can help somebody that does have ADHD. So I love that you have niche down to that. And I think that was a great decision to do that for yourself. I do, too, because I have ADHD, so I get all the things and not everyone sees the world the way we see the world. And there's no right or wrong.
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It's just different. And to be able to help a segment of the world that doesn't have the same type of support all the time, I don't know, it's just such a great thing in my life that I'm so excited to do that. No, I can see, as I shared with you, I personally don't have ADHD. I have I'm 56. So a lot of similar symptoms.
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It feels like it, though, doesn't it? But I know there's a lot of people in my life that I love, and I have worked with other people with ADHD, and you do see how it shows up and the challenges they have.
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So I think having specific tools and techniques and support and just having somebody there who gets them, it's huge. I mean, I wish I had me back then. Right? And that's why we become coaches, right? Because we become that person we wish somebody else we had when we were certain.
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Yes, that's exactly it. And by becoming coaches ourselves and learning whatever tools we use now, other people don't have to wait until they're in their 50s like we are to gain tools to hopefully maybe even further their life at an earlier age. But also there's people older than us that might be coming for the first time. And that's great too, because we can all, at any age, up level our life. Absolutely.
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Yes. And I feel like what coaches or consultants can do for people is just shortcut. Give you the shortcuts. Absolutely. That took us years to do.
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You can do it. Yes. So let's talk about your journey. So what did that look like? So bring us back to whatever starting point you want to take us to, Tia, and what got you here today?
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Okay, so I was born okay, I'm not going to start there. I don't know why that came to my head. I think I'm so funny sometimes. So the journey that brought me actually to life coaching probably began eight ish years ago. I don't know.
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I have this time warp. I'm like, oh, that was five years ago. And then I went counting. I'm like, oh, that was so not five years ago. But what happened was I sought help for my ADHD from a clinic that dealt specifically with ADHD.
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And that journey did not go anything like I expected at the time. I was married, four children, and I was home school mom.
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I wanted my family to always have the best, so I did things like grind grain and make my own bread completely from scratch. I wasn't just flour from the store. No, that wasn't good enough for me. I was really involved in I was on a local home school board. I had started as a field trip coordinator, ended up as a vice president and was there for I used to think it was eight years, it's twelve.
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I led a co op for eight years. I was just very busy. I was active in the homeless community, volunteering at a shelter. I just had so many things going on and that's what led me to think I need help for ADHD. I was late diagnosed, actually.
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My iniTial diagnosis was, wow, you've really read a lot on this topic. So if you say you have it, you must. So I'm going to agree with you. You have it. Okay, fast forward a few years.
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I went and had brain scans. Yes, I have that. I have other comorbidities as well. But what happened was for whatever reason, the doctor decided to treat my depression, not my ADHD. And the short of that story is I have a different genetic disposition.
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So everything that I tried did the opposite for me. I ended up in a severe, most severe depression I'd ever had in my entire life. Suicidal ideations. I was looking at how can I fake my death because I couldn't actually kill myself because that would damage my children. Just the thinking was crazy.
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Led me down a road to before I got my divorce, a friend gave me a podcast, life coach podcast. And the first time I looked at it, I'm like, turned it off, got rid of it. And it took me, I don't know, a year or two before I was open to listening to that podcast. And once I did, I'm like, this is I was going to go back to school to finish my teaching degree because I taught in the home school community forever. I'm just a teacher at heart.
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And I finished part of that and I was about to go to university and I was like, this is the thing that is my calling. This is what my heart would be. And I'm about to get divorced. I'm like, I don't know where the money is coming from. I don't know anything.
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And it was meant to be. My ex husband and I are still we divorced amiably, we're still friends. He actually made a way for me to get certification and I'm blessed by that. Forever grateful. But going from home school mommy to divorce to life coach, there were so many emotions involved because for one, as someone with ADHD, I had a lot of stories that I believed about my life.
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I'm sure we can talk about belief systems and all that. And I didn't realize how many of those stories were not really facts. They were just thoughts and belief systems I'd been grown up in. And I needed to do a big transition and that felt painful. And I withdrew a lot.
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Plus the medication gave me a good two years. I had a whole year of withdrawal off of that. That had some crazy things happening, even electric shocks on my arms and legs and it was a wild ride. So I'm like, I am aware as an ADHD person, I could talk to you for like 5 hours on this topic and I'm suddenly going I just don't know exactly how much or how little you want.
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This is all good. It's all really good. And it's interesting because you're talking about the mindset. And again, I said this before and that so much of what you're saying I think affects everybody and I mean, mindset is huge for us. I actually just did the final of the three part series on achieving your life goals and dreams is I call them the sharks, the Danger.
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Yes, I love that. And the anchors are those thoughts that we've grew up with about the way life should look, about the way we should run our lives, about the way anything it's so many things and I call it the crease in your brain and I'm not going to get it. People can go back and listen to that episode, but that's the anchors that just hold us back because of these thoughts that just have been ingrained in our we've heard for years and we believe them so deeply. And then the sharks or the danger buoys on the other hand, are the stories we tell ourselves about that specific activity we're about to do of all the reasons why we're not qualified to do this or we don't have time to do this, we don't have all those things, whatever the reason. Whatever the reason.
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And it's always going to creep in there. So how did you overcome, well, one, I'm just curious how you went from the medication. And we talked earlier too, there was another podcast episode, you shared a little bit of that journey. But I'm just curious now to hear the rest of the story for that. How did you get through?
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Because that is something I feel like in society today. Everybody wants to just band Aid, no matter what it is, whether it's ADHD or anything, we want to Band Aid the symptoms with medication and sometimes it's prescribed medication and other times it's our own self medication to not deal with the actual emotions, the actual issue, the underlying problem. So what happened after you decided to wean yourself off the medication that you realized this is not normal, this is not good, having those. Well, what happened with that medication? And it actually happened first with a supplement.
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We like to think these supplements that we can just go to the store and buy are fantastic because it's natural, it's healthy. And I would like to just tell people, yes, natural, but natural doesn't always mean safe for you. So it started with a supplement and then because I went to my doctor, I'm like, look, I have never been this bad, something's got to change. And he was still thinking this was just, I'm struggling with depression. He didn't realize, now I am having a reaction in my brain to something that was given to me.
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And so he gave me a medication that made it, like, 20 times worse.
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The one good thing out of that is I can now look back and say, if I can get through that, I can get through anything, because that was hell on Earth. So a friend who actually she was a team member for my co op, she was my treasurer. When I finally told them, hey, this is going on in my life, I'm really struggling. I need extra support. She contacted me later and said, I don't know how you got yourself off that all by yourself.
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I tried three times, and every time I had to go back because I felt crazy. And she said, But I found this person, and I can't remember now if he was an MD or if he was just a neuroscience scientist, but he had a program to help people get off that type of medication. And so put me in contact with him. My husband actually spoke to him directly, and we had a plan, and he said, you are going to feel crazy for a year, and that nobody wants to hear that, right? But for me, it was a piece of hope, because he said, you're going to feel crazy for a year.
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Don't give up. Keep doing the process, and in a year, you're going to go back to being yourself. Just hold on. And I held onto those words, like, with a death grip. The problem being that I'm not sure that I even knew at that time yet about the fact that I had some genetic stuff going on that changed things.
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Like, so, for example, if I end up in the hospital, I'm supposed to tell them pediatric doses. And look, here's a list of things I shouldn't take. And it's not because I had an allergy or whatever. It's my body metabolizes it in a way that's not helpful. So I'm like, if you're going to get brain scans, please get genetic testing too.
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That's my story there. So the problem was, a year came like, I remember it was December 3. I will never forget the date. And I still felt crazy. I didn't feel different.
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I didn't realize, I guess I had had the genetic testing because now I can look back going, oh, yeah, I wish I had remembered that, because maybe it was just going to take me longer, and that was the case. But in the meantime, I've waited a year. Things haven't gone back to normal. I already had, I don't know, almost a year of hell before that. So I felt hopeless and I thought, oh, my gosh, I'm broken.
00:16:09
Which is a story even people who don't have my story can't tell themselves. So I'm here to tell you you're not broken. You just have something to work on, but I felt broken. And even though people told me, you're not broken, I didn't believe them, just like your listeners might not believe me. But I had to go through a journey.
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I made some choices. I don't think they were wise at all. I regret some of my choices in the sense that it wasn't the way I wanted to live my life. And so I had to go through a lot of unlearning and rediscovering who I meant to be, how I want to live, who I want to be. And it was painful.
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I'll just say it was painful because I had all that. I had the withdrawal from the medication and at the same time I was going through Perimenopause, so I never knew what was menopause stuff and what was this medication. And I still felt crazy. And it took time. It took being introduced to a Life Coach podcast to learn new things and to begin the journey of unlearning some things.
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And there was just so much there, and I feel like once again, I could go on and on. But I don't think your listeners need that. But just know that if one is in a season of struggle, the struggle does end. You are not broken. You are just going to relearn how to be yourself and who that is.
00:18:05
Sometimes we get to midlife or actually, I've watched 30 year olds experience this. Sometimes we get to a point in life only to realize we don't really know who we are, right? Sometimes it's because we grew up believing we had to be a certain way. We had to do the things we were told and we didn't want to, but that's what we knew, so we did it. And then we get to some place in life where we feel now like something feels wrong, like innately inside of us.
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And our brain will tell us that all these stories that may not even be true or real, but they feel real, right? And I find, like even I mean, that was my story was that I had a good season. Like what I was doing before I switched careers was good and it felt great for a while and then until it didn't. Yeah, well, and that's how life works, right? Yeah.
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We go through these seasons of the ebbs and flows of this feels great. This does not feel great. I like this. I don't like this. And so something I was thinking about before coming on today was we have these ebbs and flows in life and they're there for a purpose.
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I don't think any one of us was, I could be wrong. I'm open to being wrong, but there are very few of us that were born for one thing and one thing only. Now, there might be the exception to the rule out there. I'm willing to know. That could be a thing.
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But for the majority of us, it's not like we were born. Like we came out of the womb with a label that said life coach or executive or banker. That isn't real. Right. And there will be seasons of a life.
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So for some people, those seasons, they may start life. They may be single for what feels like forever to them, and in their 40s find their love, or it may be midlife crisis, and now nothing feels right, and they need to rediscover themselves. It's not subject to age. It can happen at any age. But just to know you didn't fall out of the womb with a label that said, this is what you're supposed to do your whole life, so you will probably reinvent your life multiple times.
00:20:22
100% agree? 100% agree. Yes. I think we learn in those ebbs and flows, and whether it's a down part, the struggle can become the story, or sometimes, too. We looking back like, we get to a point like, I think I'm done here.
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Whether it's a good ride, you're still riding it. And then all of a sudden, you look around and you're like, okay, this ride is over. It's time to get a good ride. And go get on a new one. Yeah.
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Right? Things come to completion. Whether it was a good ride or felt like a bad ride, it's not subject to the adjective we attach to it. It's a ride. And rides begin, and rides end, and.
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We can go get on. Just came from Disney World a few weeks ago. It was like, ride end, and you go get on another ride. And sometimes we have to wait in line a long time to get right. But isn't that a great metaphor for life?
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We have moments in life where we feel like we're waiting for a long time, and then we finally get to the front of the line, and we get on the ride. It fits. Yes. And then it's over like that. Yeah.
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And you're like, what just happened? Yes. Yes. There's a lot of metaphors. There a lot.
00:21:39
Yeah.
00:21:42
So going back to your journey then. So you're in this place, you're finally coming out of this medicated struggle that you had. Yeah. What finally gave you peace back? What finally made you feel whole again, that you weren't broken?
00:22:02
That took a lot longer than I would like to admit. But also, I think this is good for people to know. I still have moments where I might question where I am, what I'm doing. I once did a consult with a business coach because a friend or colleague recommended this business coach. And I was actually at that on that day.
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I was not in a good frame of mind. And she's like, do you want to be a coach? And I'm like, I don't know.
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This is a couple of years after I'd already been a coach.
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These things happen where you have moments of questioning, and if a person listening happens to be neurodivergent. It seems, from my experience, to happen more often than a neurotypical person. I'm not sure which part of the brain that I'll have to look that up. But anyway, it's okay to have those moments of questioning what you thought was your calling. I would just advise not to take a knee jerk reaction about I'm going to jump ship.
00:23:23
Maybe you need to jump ship, but make it a quality, logical decision. Not that every decision has to be logical. Sometimes us impulsive people have jumped ship and it worked out great, but I kind of think that could happen with either decision you make. Either way could go great. So it's not so much the decision as really leaning into your intuition and not allowing your emotions to dictate your choices, because that's so easy to do, and I've totally lost track of where I was going with that.
00:24:02
Yeah, that's so good and it's so true. Like, our emotions not to make an emotional decision about something because we're all going to have bad days no matter what you're doing. But definitely as you're trying something new and trying to figure out your calling or doing life coaching with somebody, that there's going to be changes and they're scary and there's going to be days that you question everything. Absolutely. No matter who you are.
00:24:28
Should I be doing this? And somebody once said on, and I can't really remember which guest it was, but somebody said recently on one of the episodes that they agreed not to quit whatever it is, not to quit it on a bad day. Absolutely. That you could only quit something on a good day because then it's really not an emotional like you said, it's not an emotional choice. It's that choice that I'm done.
00:24:59
Like I was saying earlier, I'm just done here. And that's okay. You can make that choice logically to move away. But when we make it on a bad day because we're tired or things aren't working the way we thought it would, or it's not coming together fast enough, or impostor syndrome, or all the emotions that come in, if we choose to step away, then that's not fair to ourselves, our future. Exactly.
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And it's not making a decision from a place of really even sitting in your intuition. It's a knee jerk reaction. And while it could work out, it may not be the direction that you had intended and that was intended for you, if you believe that way. But like we learned, leave something from a place of love, step away from love. Not some emotion that we typically label as negative, like, not from anger, not from frustration or depression or any of that.
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If you can look at whatever it is, whatever the decision is, whatever career change you were thinking about or the change in your calling in life, look at it. What you're in currently from a place of love sort out from a place of love. And then you can feel confident that you are following your intuition. You are following getting ready for your next phase of life, whatever that looks like for you. Good advice.
00:26:48
So I have a feeling someone listening to this discussion right now may be sitting there, but how do I do that? How do I really listen to my intuition? Any tips for that Tia? Oh, absolutely. The first thing I have to say about that is it's something you have to learn and it takes time.
00:27:08
And that is probably the most frustrating thing ever. So when I was trying to learn this for myself, and there's still days I totally feel like I missed the boat on listening to my intuition, because I am still in that process of learning it's to allow yourself to listen to that inner voice. I can tell you there's been times when I just knew I was supposed to do something, like go somewhere or stop something, and my fear kicked in and I listened to my fear, not to my heart. I guess you would say I didn't do the thing. And then, ironically, it always turns out a day later, two days, a week, a month, whatever, I look back and went, oh my gosh, why did I not listen to myself?
00:28:08
I knew what the right thing was to do, and I didn't do it out because of fear. So learning to listen to your intuition is a journey. You won't do it right immediately just because you decided to make the decision. It'll take time, because you have to unlearn listening to fear. You have to unlearn falling emotions, particularly if there are emotions we would label as negative.
00:28:37
I like to think there's no emotion that is negative and there's no emotion that's just positive. Emotions are just emotions and they're messengers there to tell you a message. But don't listen to those we label as negative and just fall prey to whatever those stories your mind is offering to you. And I love the fact that emotions are just neutral, they're just messengers. That's such a great way to look at them.
00:29:10
Yeah, but so hard fixated on the emotion that we're feeling at the time. Right, but we're trained to fixate on that emotion. It's just the way we grew up. It's the way our society runs. You look around the world like so many people and you hear them talking about emotions from a place of, oh my gosh, I was so angry and I'm so embarrassed and blah, blah, blah.
00:29:33
It's like that emotion has a purpose. And if the purpose is only to teach you that you have an anger issue you need to deal with, then so be it. That's a real thing too. Yes, absolutely. And I love to what you said about the intuition, that it is something that we have to learn, because it's not something that does happen overnight.
00:29:56
I think we need it's there. Your intuition is there. Your gut always been there. It's always been there. It's always been there.
00:30:03
But we do just cover it up or we're just too busy. I feel like sometimes well, actually to it. Yeah, actually, I think what happened was, if you think back or if you've ever watched little children, they follow their intuition. So when we were little children, we listened to our intuition, but we were trained out of that. And so then we end up for years, decades, thinking we have to live life a certain way because that's how we were raised.
00:30:40
That's what's expected. That one's a big one. That's what's expected. Go back to that crease in the paper, the thoughts. Yes, right, exactly.
00:30:48
That what happens is at some point in our life, we have to realize we're actually an adult. If you are an adult, as you're listening, you have to realize you're an adult. And now all of your decisions are yours. And so now you begin the great unlearning, stepping away from everything you thought to be true and actually looking at it to see if it's still true for you today. And that's the beginning of the journey, to listen to your intuition and to relearn how to follow it.
00:31:26
And it just takes time. Right. I love that. And on that and you kind of talked a little bit about this with the fear, but I know you also mentioned in some notes that failure and I wrote this down failure is part of learning, so don't be afraid to fail. And I feel like that's a good tie into where we're going with intuition, because that fear of failure so often keeps people stuck.
00:31:55
Like, that's why they don't take that chance of whatever it is they want to do. So talk a little bit about that. Tia. So the thing with failure is, once again, we've been trained to think about it a certain way. If you are a public school student or were a public school student, the point was never fail.
00:32:16
Get the A. You got to do your best. And it didn't take into account, are you neurodivergent? Are you neurotypical? Do you have trauma going on in your life?
00:32:27
Are you having to take care of your siblings because your mom is a single mom? Just all those things that play into a person's life, it plays into their education. And so we just learned that failure is bad. And once again, failure is not bad. Because if you think back over everything in your life, failure is a messenger.
00:32:51
Once again, it's there to show you that something didn't work, whatever the something is. But because we've been so conditioned that failure is bad or wrong, we are afraid to fail. I mean, I know I've been afraid to fail. I still struggle with it at times because I was the overachiever, I had to get the best grade possible. And.
00:33:19
In my household, growing up, anything below a B was really unacceptable.
00:33:26
It's just this learning that we did. Now we have to unlearn it and realize the more chances we take in life, the more opportunities we have to learn what does or doesn't work. And if we can learn to get past that old story in our mind that failure is bad and switch it to failure teaches me a new direction, then we would do so much more in life. Our world would be expanded because we would learn more quickly. So many of us have been so afraid to fail that we don't bother to try.
00:34:07
And then you don't ever reach your potenTial. You don't ever do anything great in your life because of that fear. Failure. Oh, 100%. 100% there.
00:34:17
Yes, I see that so often with, well, men and women. I think men and women fall into this trap. I think women talk about it more. They don't express it as fear, but it's the same thing. They're afraid of looking stupid.
00:34:34
They're afraid of what are others going to think of them? Oh, that's a big one difference. But all of us have that fear and I see that so often. That's what keeps people stuck. That's what keeps them from discovering their true calling, because they're afraid of failing.
00:34:52
And failure is part of it. You will fail at some point. You hope you should. Because if you're not ever failing, you are not living, my friend. Yes, and it's funny, literally, you can go on the Internet and you can start researching failure.
00:35:10
And there are so many great stories of people in this world, steve Jobs, probably even Jeff Bezos, and each one of them had failures before. They got to be the name we know them by and after. Yes, but all we see is, oh my gosh, this is a successful person. Wish I could be like them. Well, guess what?
00:35:36
You can. But you have to let yourself be willing to fail. Right. Because some ideas are bad. I mean, what is it?
00:35:43
I think Thomas Edison, they said that. He would over 1000 times. Yeah. Before he found the light bulb. So that's going to happen.
00:35:54
It's just part of the process is failure. And it's actually a beautiful thing. I think the problem we have is we grew up believing it's such a bad thing. And if one can switch the viewpoint to it's a beautiful thing because it'll show me the direction to go. I was going in direction A and hit the brakes on a complete failure.
00:36:18
It feels terrible. Okay, so now that means plan B, right? Oh my gosh. Oh, I wish I would have brought it today. Had I known we were going to get to this part, I would have brought it.
00:36:34
I saved a meme, and I can't tell you who it is or whatever. I was planning to put it on my instagram. And it's a gentleman who was like, at this age, this failure at that age, that failure, he was broke and I can't remember all the things, but then at this age, he bought a camera, and then at the next stage, he I don't know, started taking pictures or whatever. And then, like six years later, he became an award winning photographer for National Geographic. So he's a prime example.
00:37:13
He could have, after the first couple of failures went, that's it, I'm a failure. I'm never going to amount to anything and end up living under a bridge. But he kept going and became an award winning photographer. Right. I love that.
00:37:28
I love that story. And as we're starting to wrap things up here, I'm just thinking about the beginning of the conversation, talking about being broken. And I have a book somewhere from a ChrisTian writer, and she something about God uses craft pots or something like that. I love that image and that we're not broken, we're not failures. Well, that's part of what makes us beautiful, right?
00:37:56
Yeah. Yes. And I've forgotten what I don't know if you know the name of it, but the Japanese art, where if they have a cracked bowl, they fill it with gold, I'm like, that's really what any one of our lives can look like. Right. If we choose that it's okay to be the crackpot and fill it in with the gold and blossom and bloom into that life you want that life that has meaning and purpose to you.
00:38:26
Exactly. And I think that's what makes that's where we get to this place, because we follow again that ebb and flow of the downs, the failures, and then getting up to the peaks and valley, the peaks and then back down again. It's not a straight line.
00:38:46
It doesn't stop. You don't arrive one day and you are at the top of the mountain forever. It's not how life works. I don't even care if you're a multimillionaire. You still have those peaks and valleys.
00:38:57
It's just life. Exactly. So any last advice? If somebody's listening to this and they're thinking, all right, I'm willing to face my fear, I really want to discover my calling. I want to step out and do something new, what advice would you give them for getting the courage to do that?
00:39:22
Find support. And support may not be your immediate family. They may not be your best friend, even, which is kind of painful to discover. But when you have a dream in your heart and you really believe that's the direction that you're supposed to go, be careful who you're sharing your dream with. And if by chance you share your dream with someone who poo poo, they laugh.
00:39:49
Or like, why would you ever do that? That's so ridiculous. Just know that person is now on the do not share list. It doesn't mean you can't be their friend. It just means you're not going to share your innermost dream with them.
00:40:04
And if you cannot find one person in your immediate world, start meeting new people. But I think all of us need some sort of support to help us, particularly when it means going through the fear. Right. So it's like find that person. And if you can't find the person and get a life coach, because that's what we do.
00:40:32
That's the biggest thing, support. I love that. And I call those people the sharks. They're the ones that just don't they're going to take a bite out of your dream if you're not careful. Right.
00:40:42
And it's so easy to when there's somebody we love and care about, it's so easy to just believe what they're saying and we don't have to believe what they're saying. And it makes the journey feel more challenging. But when you get to the other side, it's going to be totally worth it. Right, exactly. And because we did start off talking a little bit about the ADHD, any advice specifically for somebody that's trying to start something new that does have ADHD and how they may go about doing something that maybe looks a little bit different than something they've heard before?
00:41:20
Yes. That is probably one of the biggest challenges with people who, whether it's ADHD or any other neurodiversions brain nerd, we often look at the world around us and think we have to be that. And the challenge with that is that's not who we are. So this is where you have to be willing to be different. And sometimes that can be challenging in our world.
00:41:54
You probably think outside the box and people around you are going to question you and think they might think you're crazy. They might think what you're planning is nuts. Oh, and you should stop and they probably will tell you and you might attempt the thing, fail miserably and they will look like they were right. But what I would tell you is part of your journey is attempting the thing and failing miserably and figuring out a new thing, that's just part of the journey. So don't be afraid to do that.
00:42:28
Don't be afraid to shut out a neurotypical person's words and follow what you really believe is for you, whether it ends up in a massive failure or a massive amazing, this was it. Because everything you do in life is a part of your journey. And sometimes we have to go through the things that don't seem so fun in order to get to the spot where now we are ready and willing to do the thing that really was our true calling. I love that. And again, I think that's great advice for anybody listening to take that advice and just yeah, you got to try it.
00:43:11
Just go out and try it and have fun with it. And who you are, own who you are, you'll learn something about yourself, even if it's a failure, you're going to learn something about yourself, and that's going to lead you to be more of yourself. Right. And when I'm setting up the podcast guests, I always ask them if you have a favorite book or a quote, and you did share one from John Green, that there's hope even when your brain tells you there isn't. Yeah, I think the reason that one particularly came to mind was because it fits with my story.
00:43:50
I cannot tell you how many times, especially when I was on that medication, and even for several years after that, I felt hopeless. And, yeah, one of my diagnoses is a depression. So you go, oh, yeah, that's just your diagnosis. But no, it's any person on this planet can arrive at the point of hopelessness at some point in their life, and even when it seems hopeless, it's not. Hang in there.
00:44:20
You will get through it and come out a better person on the other side. Beautiful. Well, thank you, Ta, for being here and sharing your story and talking about all the things all the things I hope anybody listening. I hope you heard what you needed to hear today, whether it's facing the fear, whether it's trusting your gut and your intuition, whether it's knowing your brain is who it is and embrace it, right, absolutely. Or if it's maybe you need to reach out and find good professional help.
00:45:01
The right help. Yes. So how can people connect with you or follow you? So they can go to my website, which is CoachwithTia.com. I'm going to spell it out because not everybody would know how to spell Tia.
00:45:17
So it's coachwithTia.com. I am on Instagram. So it's my first and last name. So T-I-A-J-E-N-S-E-N underscore. And I am on Facebook.
00:45:37
Tiajensen. I've had people try to find me and not find me. So it might be easier on Instagram, I'm not sure. But those are the places I hop on right now. You can reach both Instagram and Facebook through my website.
00:45:50
So those little icons are at the top of the page. All right, perfect. And we will have those in the show notes. And I know you're working on a fun, pretty little handout for people if they want to connect and grab that. Yes.
00:46:05
So that would be five ways to clear resistance, to help your brain take action. I love that. And I think whether you have ADHD or not, that would be something to grab. Absolutely. Yeah.
00:46:21
And I'm just going to add to if you're listening to this and you know somebody who does have ADHD, share this podcast with them, let them know they're not alone. There's other people out there who are being successful and have been successful, and you were successful at home school and you're successful running your own business now that they can see what that looks like, too. Absolutely. So thank you again for being a guest on the Discovering Your Calling podcast. To you.
00:46:50
Thank you for inviting me. I so appreciate it.
00:46:57
Welcome. Discovering your calling. Patreons are deep fans that we truly appreciate. And here's just a little extra nugget just for you from Tia Jensen, who we just did a podcast all around ADHD and her journey, and she just has some extra love, extra stories, extra support for you. So take it away, Tia.
00:47:22
All right, so as I was sharing with you earlier, people who have ADHD, well, everybody does this, but we seem to be particularly skilled at shame, blame, and judgment for ourselves, sometimes for others, but heavily on ourselves. And it's tied to our self worth, to the stories we learned growing up. For someone like me who was late diagnosed, my parents didn't even know what ADHD was. But there's a sense of, yeah, I wasn't the kid that could keep my room clean, so I got in trouble a lot for things like that, and I put that on, like, clothes. Like that meant something about who I was and about my self worth.
00:48:05
And so the nugget I want your listeners to take with them is now we have this field called neuroscience, which is showing us so many things about the brain. And neuroplasticity means we can change our brain. We used to think we, being the medical community, actually used to think that brains were static. Once you reached a certain age, that's just who you were. That's what you're stuck with.
00:48:34
Now, we know through science that's not the case. So particularly if you have ADHD, but for anyone, you can retrain your brain. You may not become a neurotypical person, and quite frankly, I don't think you should want to, because you have your own gift with your own unique brain. But that means you don't have to be a victim of your ADHD. You can live an amazing life with ADHD.
00:49:00
And there are ways you can actually help your brain, aside from things like, it's super important to eat healthy foods, foods that love you, not just foods you love, because most of us want to love sugar and all that tasty stuff, but that doesn't support our brain. So make sure you're eating foods that support your brain and you're getting sleep. That's a big one for us. But should you be in a situation, there are ways to help your brain to interrupt the neurotransmitters and actually regrow. I mean, we've got functional MRIs that show you can actually do this.
00:49:36
So science I love science. Science is telling us we're not stuck, we're not a victim. If you need to be doing something and you're just like, I just can't get some exercise, it might be five minutes on a jump rope, it might be a walk around the block. Whatever it is, get the blood flow to the brain. Interrupt that thought that is keeping you from doing the thing you're doing.
00:50:03
Take some deep breaths. If you're into meditation. Meditation works. Do those things and try again. Don't feel like you have to be stuck.
00:50:14
You have to be a victim. There are ways to help your brain so that you can live your best life.
00:50:23
Love that. Great advice. Great advice. Again, for anybody. But specifically, I could see how those tips would support and help get moving just for you again.
00:50:37
Yes. I think the biggest thing is so many times we get trapped in this victimhood. A lot of ADHD just have this inner victim that just rules them and we don't have to be stuck with that. That's one of the things I do in my work, is help them overcome their inner victim so that they can appreciate and love the brain that they were born with, to be the person they were intended to be. Such great advice.
00:51:05
And I love too, that you've studied this. You said you love science and we don't understand something. Go learn about it or find a coach who has learned about it. Right? Yeah.
00:51:17
We will teach anything you want to know. But thank you again for being a guest here and sharing this little extra for the Patreons. I truly appreciate you and your time. Thank you. And I appreciate you for giving me the opportunity to share with people.
00:51:35
You're so welcome. Bye.