Austrian Grand Prix & F1 The Movie review

I'm Josh Weller sat next to Alfie Brown from the Dirty Air podcast. We're letting you know that we have a Patreon and it costs £3 a month and there's with that you get a bonus episode every all week on The World Wide Web. And video. And video, sorry. And join it now, £3 a week. And we are really, really enjoying making... £3 a month, Josh. Is that... Really? Yeah. That's such little money. Wow, that's crazy. What's that like?

pence under a pound a week and also to let you know that me josh weller i'm filming my first ever special on august the 12th at the bill murray in london there's a 7 p.m and a 9 p.m tickets will be in the episode description below see you there Now we have to f***ing talk about racing. We're going to watch a car. It's when nerds try and be cool. I think you've done brilliantly. Are you upset with me or something? Dirty Eddies.

Dirty Air. Hi, I'm Josh Weller. And I'm Alfie Brown. And this is Dirty Air.

2041. They've extended the Austrian Grand Prix to 2041. How many years is that in the future? It is 16 years in the future. Can we go 16 years into the past? What year was that? 2009. Was the iPhone... a thing first iphone i think came out in 2008 that's how long ago it was and they want me to care that in 20 the world's going to be ended um i was i was still with my first girlfriend i think i was 22 years old you would have been

same i think it's quite arrogant a formula one to assume that they're still going to be that big in 16 years time i think i said this on our celebrated live stream yesterday but i become incredibly existentially uncomfortable with the idea of the future as a concept. I know. And I don't like, I don't really like thinking about November.

like now so I that 2041 it's like you might as well be talking about oh you know in 2041 we're all going to be made out of blancmange and speak swahili yeah i don't care it's not it's not real it's a completely abstract concept 2041 i don't even think by 2041 ferrari will have won another world championship well there's not what what currently is...

happening that would suggest to you that that has any feasibility whatsoever I don't think it's possible I think by 2041 we'll have F1 the movie Tokyo Drift we'll be that far into the franchise oh yeah there'll be in there like there'll be a spin-off

where, like, The Rock and Jason Statham are a detective team who have to solve a crime that Ferrari sold blueprints to McLaren or something. Yes. There's going to be a movie about the whole, like, Red Bull-Christian Horner cover-up called The Fast and the Spirit. I'm curious.

Okay, let's get into our Gridwalk Review for the Austrian Grand Prix. Gridwalk Review. How many celebrities who didn't even pay for tickets are going to give Martin Brundle a shitty time? Gridwalk Review. You know what? You know what? Austria really does a good job with this race. They have the parachute guy, all the people and the jetpacks. And Red Bull really like to show that they're at the forefront of extreme sports, don't they?

They do. In a very serene backdrop. And I don't think we've said this enough. It's a beautiful place, Spielberg. It really is. It's a... And it looks like what you imagine Formula One to have been when you were growing up. It predates...

all of modern Formula One's trappings and therefore there's something wholesome about it aesthetically as a venue. Someone flew over a mountain, some billionaire flew over a mountain and pointed at a bit of ground and went, that's where we're doing it. And they just cut out. everything and put this lovely circuit in there. Yes, you expect the Von Trapp family to be prancing across the circuit.

Like that's where it is. You know, at the end where they escape the Nazis, like they, that's where they stuck the track. But in this context, it's, it's the Damon Hills are alive. Oh, for for sake, Josh. That's lovely. Okay. Don't start the podcast too strong. We won't be able to carry that on. This was an absent week. I have not seen more absent people from Formula One. I don't know what happened this weekend.

Of course, Martin Brundle ran to the Damon Hills, didn't he? He did. Ran for his life. Yeah, Damon Hill and Crofty, who were fast becoming the comedy couple of Formula One, the cute, the Ant and Deck of F1.

Martin and Crofty were at an Iron Maiden concert, which was not on my bingo card. If someone went, where do you think they were this weekend? That would have been exactly where I thought they were. You thought they'd be at an Iron Maiden? Who do you think goes to Iron Maiden concerts?

Not Martin Brundle. Yeah. Martin Brundle seems like someone who's taking his niece to Taylor Swift. Yeah, I'm sure that's where he would take his niece. And the weekend afterwards he goes, you know what, I, you know.

I had not heard any of her music, but she put on a ruddy good show. She put on a really good show. It was very impressive. Three hours. And I thought I'd get bored. There were a few moments where, you know, I had to go to the toilet and get another Coca-Cola just to pep me up a bit. But considering I didn't know any of the songs, what a sh**.

What a spectacle. Yeah, great performer. She really knows how to put on a show. No GP at the GP. At the GP, there was no GP. No Zac Brown. No Fred Vasseur. He's not a Vaseus. Who had personal reasons. I mean, every reason is a personal reason, isn't it? Wanting to go and see Iron Maiden instead is a personal reason.

I wonder if they, do you think they booked the tickets last year and went, let's see if we can get the weekend off? They looked like they had a bot. They looked like they had posh seats. They had like guest lists. Because I also imagine that, what's Iron Maiden lead singer's name? Bruce Dickinson. Bruce Dickinson.

There's no way he doesn't like Formula One. That's true. He's a pilot, isn't he? He's a plane nerd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to go and see Iron Maiden at Sonosphere Festival in 2009, 16 years ago. And he, before Iron Maiden played, he did a flyover in his own plane, landed it near Sonosphere Festival, which I think is near one of the racetracks this country has. And... And then got out on stage. Incredible. Yeah, he's an amazing man. He's an amazing man. And I'm... Anyway, like, Brundle...

Absent. I wonder if they were watching it on a phone. It's so sweet that they have found each other. That they like each other outside of the sport. Like, you have to spend every weekend with this bastard. And then, what are you going to do on your weekend off? Still spend it with him.

That's super cute. Like, imagine being Brundle's wife going, where are you this weekend? I'm just hanging out with Crofty. Are you fucking serious, Martin? You cannot. You see him every week. All you talk about is him. What's going on? What's going on? I want answers.

But that meant we had a Ted Kravitz gridwalk review with Bernie Collins. It wasn't just a Ted Kravitz gridwalk review, was it? It was a Ted Kravitz and Bernie Collins and all the women. They did a great job of talking to all the women. They were celebrating, you know, women in F1, and they did a good job of it. Now, I would have appreciated... Here's the thing. It's easy for us to give Ted a minus seven for his gridwalks because, A, it's funny to keep giving him a minus seven.

And B, it's funny to do it, you know, because Martin's not there. And Martin is the gridwalk. He is the king of the gridwalk. But I will say they threw, they didn't throw Ted many bones this weekend. Like, it's easy to go up to DJ Khaled. And go, hey, why are you here? And he's like, I'm here because I got a new single coming out on DF Records. And it's called Hot Bitch Up In My Grill featuring Klongamak.

And then Martin Brando goes, okay, a bit intense there. Right, thank you very much. And then... sort of wanders off Ted Kravitz deserves he deserved an opportunity to do a good grid walk this week and F1 didn't provide him with one there were no celebrities there we needed a couple of coked up

Orlando Bloom's. And also, the movie's out. Couldn't they wrangle in like a couple of... I would have appreciated them giving him some Lenny Kravitz or something like that. It's not fair on Ted. What I find most interesting... about the grid walks the the the when martin brundle is absent when he's gone on a mini break with crofty

is that they think, well, we can't replace Brundle directly. It's not a swap out. Yeah, you can't plug and play somebody else. You've got to replace him in the aggregate. It takes more than one human to match the output of one Martin Brundle. This is what they all realise, this is what they all understand, is that Brundle's job is not a job that a regular human being can understand. take by themselves yeah they're big loafers to fill that was good there was no opportunity for humiliation

There was no opportunity. They're walking around pointing at the cast, talking about how hot it is. Great, great, great. I think Bernie's great. Ted's great. But...

I would have appreciated just someone on drugs. I think that's the thing. I need more drugs. Can we put drugs back? Formula One, look, you can get rid of as many things as you want. You can make as many movies as you want. You can put Lego at fucking turn nine and fill up Doritos in... in the cool down rooms afterwards, whatever, but just some drugs for the famous people because I, because I need that insane.

Ozzy Osbourne, no, fucking dogs shitting on the carpet. You know, I need that before the races. You need Jeopardy. You need, and I think when you replace him in the aggregate and Brundle, what you do is you take away a lot of that jeopardy. So you take away mad celebrities and you take away one man having to do this job by himself.

And suddenly it's like watching the grid walk with Brundle is like watching a Siegfried and Roy show. Like it's that thing is like, Oh, it could get bit today. Like it could, today could be the day it all goes horribly wrong. There isn't enough. Fuck. This could all go. appallingly for everybody involved in a minute if it were one like how were they keeping this up it's like an egg and spoon race how many could drop at any moment

celebrities were on the list for the Miami race a couple of years ago when Martin went, oh, there's 150. It was like a couple of hundred celebrities, right? Sure. And loads of them didn't show up. Taylor Swift was on the list and she didn't show up. I wonder this weekend if Brundle looked at the list and went,

Oh, nobody. Oh, then I'll go see Iron Maiden. Thanks very much. Oh, maybe that's it. Maybe, right. Maybe there was not... Yeah, it's like a chicken and egg thing. Were there no celebrities there because there was no Brundle? So you go like, oh, well, I'm...

you know if i'm ed sheerard i'm not going to austria brundle's not there and then the national anthem was uh what was it the austrian boys choir and the austrian girls choir Yeah, or Vienna. Or a dancing group. Well, no, no, there were a fucking bunch of ballerinas. Listen, Austria are pretty good at surprising me with their national anthems because if I remember correctly...

Last year was Hans Zimmer, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It was Hans Zimmer with his... He's got a sort of weird... telecaster replica it's this weird sort of wood finish looks a bit like a treat someone's made him a telecaster out of a tree trunk right right right and then a bunch of drummers mining and he redid he zhuzhed up the uh um the Austrian national anthem. And then this year we got Formula One and Austria expressed through the medium of dance.

And it was good. That was surprising. More of that, please. It wasn't some sort of C-list pop star doing too much like trem on the long notes. It was... some lithe children prancing as a choir uh beautifully backed up by a choir I liked it. They could have thought a bit more about how they directed that, I thought, because they did these wonderful dances, but it was a very wide shot.

I would have put a bit more thought into capturing the essence of the dance. Oh, yeah, and in the plane flyover, we just saw a puff of smoke. The Austrian Red Arrow. What are the Austrian Red Arrows called? Das Schott? That's Rot Arrows. I have no idea. It would be amazing general knowledge. Anyway. Walt Sinha probably knows. Ted Kravitz. I'm going to give this grid. Ted, you're getting a minus seven. Give him a minus six. No, it's a minus seven.

Okay, fine. Ted, you get a minus six. I think there's improvement. But there's a lot more room for improvement. Every time it's an improvement. Ted, can I ask you, next time that you get a grid walk, can you say to them, look, I'll do it. But I need one coked up actor. I need at least one. I need a platinum record there. Yeah. I need... One Grand Slam winner.

Premier League footballer. Just one of something. Someone has had a number one. A number one win. A number one single. I'm surprised we haven't seen Charlie Sheen on the walk. How about this, Ted? How about next time you do a grid walk and they say there's going to be no celebrities, put me and Alfie on the list and we'll bring our own coke. I'm not sure. Yeah, but we could bring...

Look, we know, we could bring, who do we know that's famous? I could bring, I could try and bring Alan Carr for you. Yeah, you go. Do you want Alan Carr? So, Alan, who are you supporting? Oh, I just love all the cars. Go so fast, don't they? McLaren's my team. See you at the O2.

Can we talk about F1 the movie? Because I saw it this week. Can we do a quick review? Well, listen, I tried to watch it illegally, Josh, on the World Wide Web, but I couldn't find it. So well done, Formula One, for making that movie. Much harder to find. As a little experiment, I tried to watch the new Wes Anderson film and I could do it like that. Easy. It was just streamable on a free website. Easy. I think... The Phoenician. The Phoenician scheme. The Phoenician scheme.

However, the Formula One movie was almost impossible to watch. So well done for that. It grossed $144 million opening week, which I think is too much money. That's more than they deserve. Well, that's more than a team's budget for the year. That seems unfair to me. Yeah, but they haven't...

That's only half their money they've made back so far from what they spent on it, isn't it? Yeah, and the marketing spend is going to be a lot. It's going to be like 500 mil to break. Oh, is that not factored into the cost of the film to make? I don't think so. So this is like half a bill that they've going to have spent on this.

thing in total yeah and it's a um it's a hey look let's talk about it right so i went to see f1 the movie um the cinema was it was a friday night and there was five people in the cinema which i thought oh that's interesting so i'm surprised to see that it's made this much money and it has like 83 on rotten tomatoes again I thought, that's interesting. It must be really good. And I will say... Did you actually think that? Yes, because it has 83%.

Like The Godfather has like 89%. So I thought, wow, this is only 6% worse than The Godfather. Do you find Rotten Tomatoes to be a reliable informant of movie quality? Not anymore. And I'll say this, okay. So... Great script. Yeah. Great acting. Yeah. Great arc. Great redemption story. Believability. Fun. And the perfect length.

F1 the movie is the opposite of all of those things. It's the opposite. It's a long, hot... And no one's saying it because I think what's happening is we're trying to get people back into the cinema. I think that's what's happening at the minute. Because this is the first blockbuster, true blockbuster summer since COVID. We have F1 the movie, Brad Pitt. We have Tom Cruise in a train or in a submarine, whatever the fuck he's doing this time. And then we have 28 years later.

like nostalgia and sequels and familiarity. And that's what's bringing people back to the cinema. So I think there is a group agreement amongst journalists to just say that F1 the movie is a great rip-roar ride. I thought it was...

just the worst. And all the people I follow who watch F1 have said how great it is and they, oh, I watched it. as a spectator not as an f1 insider i'm not an f1 insider i just like f1 and i thought it was the worst it was it was the worst okay let's get into this so before the movie starts f1 the movie um i saw an advert in the cinema

For F125, the game. Then I saw Max Verstappen advertising cleaning products. What cleaning products? I can't remember. Okay. And then I saw an advert for some watches. What watches? I think the...

Rolex. And then I saw an advert for Peroni Beer, an F1 brand partner. With boozing or without? No, it wasn't Astronazuro. It was the... normal beer so before even the film starts I went okay this is brand integration and I wish that the movie was more than brand integration but that is essentially what this film is and I noticed that it's

The producers of the film, Bruckheimer Films, Apple Studios, Monolith Pictures, Dawn Apollo, and a company called Plan B. And I thought, oh, that must be Ferrari. because they're always going to plan B, but it wasn't. It's a production company owned by Brad Pitt, a few other people, and Jennifer Aniston. So Jennifer Aniston is having a great weekend. She's made millions of dollars this week.

She is an investor in F1, the movie, and she's just sat back and let her ex-husband go and do all the work and is making like a fifth of their income. Okay, let's get through this movie review. Okay, so. The movie starts with F1, the movie, the album. Lots of modern, big, hip, young acts. Ed Sheeran, Hoff Mainsley, Dank Bitch, Busset Slopes. Yeah, slap and tickle. Slap and tickle, yeah. Linear movement. And the big song that opens the film is Whole Lot of Love by Led Zeppelin.

By the way, I am going to say there are spoilers in this review. So you're going to spoil it for me before I've seen it? I'm going to spoil it for you. It's the only way I can do it. Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin, but they've replaced the, what a whole lot of love, the guitar. They've replaced it with cars going,

That's good. And when that happened, I went, okay, this movie's not for me. So Brad Pitt lives in a van. And I said in our fake review that he lives in a trailer. So I was pretty close. And he's just doing his dry cleaning. And then Javier Bardem, no explanation as to how he finds him, just shows up at the dry cleaners and goes, hey, do you want to drive in Formula One? Because I've got this bad team. Do you want to join F1? And I was like...

This is, how did he, first of all, explain how he got there. It doesn't make any sense. And then he calls the car a shitbox, which is a reference to Toto Wolf. Then we meet the team. We meet a female pit girl and she's dropping stuff. She keeps dropping the pit guns and all that stuff. Silly girl. Yeah, because I don't know if you know this about women, but women are very clumsy. And I'm glad that everyone accurately portrayed that. It's good to...

dispel the stereotype for women. And then Brad Pitt takes the job and he just walks into Silverstone. Like, we've been to Silverstone. You can't just walk in. to Silverstone. He just walks around the corner with a duffel bag and goes, I'm F1 driver now. So is your problem with the film that it didn't accurately portray the amount of red tape?

Would you like that in your films if there was just a really laborious process where they went to check-in? That's exactly right. Damson Idris, who is in a struggling F1 team, Apex Formula One. Struggling F1 team. They're a bad team. Now, I know that a back market driver...

is going to make about half a mil a year, but he lives in a Shoreditch loft conversion warehouse flat. Yeah. That is about three million pounds. Like it's, that place is next to my gym. Yeah, but you can rent it for like five grand a month. I don't. I just don't. And then Will Buxton's in it a lot. Will Buxton? Will Buxton in it a lot. And I have to say, of all the F1 cameos, Will Buxton is the only one who was a good actor. Oh, really? He's a good actor in this film.

He plays the part where not any part of me went, oh, he's... When Toto comes on, when Domenicali comes in, you go, oh, my God, these are not actors. He's had practice in front of a camera where he's had to feign. Obviously, Will Buxton has a... a good base of formula one knowledge, but for drive to survive, he's had to pretend that he is like,

totally innocent to the complexities of the sport and has to say, as has been so brilliantly captured in short form content by the comedian, Josh Weller, very, very basic thing. So he's had an opportunity to be. To do acting. Yeah. In a sense.

Second advert of the movie is F1. We see someone playing F125, the computer game. What, they do product placement in the film with their own shit? Oh, I'm just getting started. No. And then... Do they have a crystal clear WhatsApp call? Yes, and then they play We Will Rock You.

which again for how much they're trying to get new uh music into formula one new artists with f1 the movie the album they're relying on a lot of old music then we get a rolex advert now we hear crofty and brundle commentating they commentate throughout the movie on every race there's a weird reverb on their voices and i will say this crofty and brundle

love them both not natural actors no even in their voice you can hear that they're not that great then then then we get more of the female pit crew lady who um she's clumsy she's still very clumsy They have a shitty battle for last place. And this is the first moment of accuracy in F1, the movie. He has a crappy battle for last place and he's fighting with Perez and Stroll.

Okay. Which made me think maybe Perez didn't have a bad season last year. Maybe he was acting. He'd gone method. He'd gone method, yeah. He went, I want to be a movie star. I'm going to fight with Brad Pitt. And he wants me to race at the back.

Then we have an advert for Shark Ninja. The VPN. They have a vacuum cleaner advert. Oh, yeah, it's Shark VPN. Shark Ninja is the vacuum cleaner. They do a quick advert for Shark Ninja. My apologies, yeah. Carry on. Then we get a flashback to Brad Pitt Racing Senna. So Brad Pitt, who is in Formula One in 2023, he also fought against Senna. Now, just for some context, Martin Brundle raced against Senna. So that contextually in the timeline.

is the age that... Brad Pitt is the same age as Keir Starmer. But Brad Pitt is the same age as Keir. Yes, but he wouldn't be... Why didn't they make him a bit later than that? Why couldn't he have raced Vettel? Because why did they have to put Senna in the film other than to please the dads watching Formula One? Because you get a little Easter egg of Senna's McLaren. It just makes no mathematical sense. So Brad Pitt at the age of 61, 33 years ago, would have been...

27 27 yes it's perfectly legit no it's legit but he's 60 But the fact that the unrealistic thing is that he's 61. I could believe that Brad Pitt's 50 maybe still racing in F1 based on Fernando Alonso. I can't believe that he's 62 racing in Formula One. Anyway, then Pitt pits and he talks to his pit crew during the pit stop.

drove me fucking crazy. He's like talking to them going, put it on softs. And he's racing at the back and then he waits nine seconds at a protest before they put the softs on.

That's good. Yeah, but he's shouting at the moment. You're on the radio, mate. You don't need that. Then we meet Tom Clarkson, Rachel Brooks, Zac Brown, all in the movie. Fred Vasseur in the movie. There are more team principals in this movie than there were at the Austrian Grand Prix. And then Joshua, Damson Idris's mum, is...

Like, she's kind of hot for Brad Pitt, but she keeps having a go at him and says she's trying to ruin my son's life. They have this weird crash. There's no qualifying in the movie. No qualifying explained whatsoever. So they just keep getting better, but you don't really see why. brad pitt says to her at one point we need to put the car in battle mode and she goes oh okay i'll redesign the car and then they start winning so i didn't know that f1 was that easy so maybe ferrari should take note

You just need to go into the air tunnel, wind tunnel, and go, hey, can you make the car better? We tried battle mode. Guys, have we tried battle mode? Because we've just... That's maybe what Alpine should be trying to do. Yeah. A bit more battle mode. And then Diplo has a cameo.

I wouldn't know a Diplo cameo if I saw one. They have a big old crash in Vegas and there's no penalties. Anytime they get a crash, there are no penalties. Brad Pitt has just given free reign to keep crashing. Nothing happens. Then there's advert number four, which is, I think, the most egregious advert in Formula One, the movie. They have an advert... for the paddock club.

They're relaxing in the paddock club right now, one of the most exclusive rooms on earth, where if you are glitz and glamorous, you can spend the weekend backstage at Formula One. Then they have an advert for Etihad airplanes, an airplane flies over. I wrote in my notes here, I want this.

film to end the location of the races it kind of makes no doesn't matter where the races are they go and next up we're at this place because none of it matters there's no the races aren't affected by the location You're not like, oh, this is going to be a good race for them because it's a street circuit, or this is going to be a good race for them because it's a nice, wide, long straight. It makes no difference.

And then all of a sudden, he's suddenly racing with Mercedes and Ferrari. Someone says, through, go Hamilton. So we get a little Easter egg there for the fans. Then Domenicali comes up to him and says, well done. And Domenicali is an exec producer on the movie. And he's in the movie. The whole movie is just a big circle jerk. And then Toto comes up to him, to Joshua, who does one good race. And Toto offers him a seat at Mercedes.

so hang on how he wins one race and then Toto goes hey if you'd ever like a seat there's an open seat for your Mercedes and he goes thanks man but I'm I'm sticking with Apex and he goes I respect that so is that Damson Idris' character? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joshua something. Right, okay. And how's Toto Wolff's acting? Terrible. But who cares? He's meant to be. He's not an actor. It's okay that it's terrible. No, no, no, I know, I'm not criticising him. What's weird is...

Like, I don't know who this movie was for because it's not for F1 fans. But then if you don't care about F1, would you enjoy this film? because it's kind of boring. It's just a bunch of cars going fast, and you go, oh, is he going to win? Oh, he's not won. Oh, is he going to win? Oh, he's crashed. Oh, yes, he's won now. I will say there's another very accurate moment where the Apex team principal has a very young wife. for sure so they absolutely nailed that well done

And then the movie ends. And I'll be honest with you, the most accurate part of this film for me was that I felt very frustrated watching it, which is how I feel most F1 weekends. When I go, oh my God, this is a bad race. Why do I love... f1 why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this every weekend i got that feeling watching the movie so it's in that regard immersive completely accurate yeah okay great um but i did not enjoy

Formula One, the movie. And I think I'm the only person I've seen on the thing say it so far. Well, my friend Jimmy McGee texted me and said, I'm afraid the F1 movie is poo. Yeah. So you at least have...

Jimmy McGee to... Let us know what you think. Leave your comments on our Spotify. Leave your comments on the Patreon. Let us know what you thought of the movie. Yeah, fuck it. It's meant to be for reviewing this podcast, but actually you could just leave your own F1 movie reviews in the Spotify and...

Apple podcast comments. I just don't believe that as many people are enjoying it as they say. It does feel like a cover-up, doesn't it? Yeah. Like, like it's propaganda. Yeah. Which is, which is how I described it initially is it's... It's propaganda for F1. It's like one of those old wartime movies that they do to rally the troops. They're trying to embolden everybody in their Formula 1 fandom. There's so many adverts in it. There was adverts before it.

There were adverts in it. When you're saying adverts in it, you just mean like clunky product placement? Clunky. I mean, no, just blatant product placement. Right, right. And I understand that movies, you know, they need... they put products in and they get paid to do it and it and it relinquishes a lot of the costs but like

I don't need to see, like, I have a big problem at the minute of streaming services that I'm watching advertising their streaming service while I'm watching it. So I start a show on Paramount. And then before the show starts, it goes, Paramount Plus. I'm like, I'm fucking here. I'm on this. What are you doing? And on Amazon, they have this really annoying thing where it goes, this movie is brought to you with limited interruptions. And then when it plays adverts, it goes,

uh, we'll be back. Like there are no limited interruptions in this movie. And I'm like, this, this is the limited interruption. Why are you telling me you're gaslighting me by telling me that there are no adverts apart from this advert and the adverts for your streaming service. Stop it. And I felt that way watching F1 the movie. I was like, why am I being advertised F1?

Yeah, I'm already here. I don't need convincing. Just tell me a story about the thing that I like rather than trying to sell me the thing that I'm already invested in watching. But then you, and I think this is the great truth of this. project that we all need to understand. It wasn't for you. It was conversion therapy for the Formula One uninitiated. And basically what they want is for me to take my son. And for my son to go, cool. And then love F1. And then love F1 forever.

And then you show him a real race and he goes... Actually, I don't like that. Not good at all. Why is nothing exploding? Why is he not... He shouldn't be on mediums. He could just tell them that he wants soft, surely. Why isn't he having sex with the team principal right now? Well, it might be. And, okay, so I'm going to give the F1 movie an F1 out of 10. Okay. An F as in the grade F and a one as in one star out of five. Yeah. It's like double shit. Please stop.

Please stop. Please, F1. Please stop. Okay, let's get on with our review of the Austrian Grand Prix. You ready, Alfie? I'm ready. Carlos Sainz, bad weekend? They went, oh, we're not sure if Carlos is going to start because his car's on fire. I think it was really funny at the beginning of the race when he called in.

and said, hey, my brakes aren't working like they're supposed to. And then the team said back to him, oh, right, OK, what do you mean? And he went, well, you know how they're supposed to not be on fire? Yeah, they are on fire. Yeah, they are on fire. Do you think you can still do the race, though? I'll give it a good bash. No, I've burst into flames. No, sorry. Say what you want about Carlos Sainz. He is...

He was adamant about doing that race. The car wouldn't start on the formation lap, and he went, Oi, mate! Mate! Give me a push! And then in 35 degree heat, these men wearing overalls had to jump start his car. And then all the cars are lined up. And he went, no, no, no, I'll catch up quick. I'll catch up. I'll just catch up. You all just sit there.

and let your engines overheat. I'm going to catch up really quickly. Yeah. Which is actually a really smart way to have a great race start. To fuck everybody except you, yeah. Yeah. And then his car turned into...

a marshmallow campfire, didn't it? It did. It did. It did. Well, yeah, it wasn't a great day for Williams. They seemed to have a little bit of trouble not bursting into flames or just dying. Yeah. But what are you going to do? Who said on our live stream yesterday that that was the most English thing to happen? Was it you? Yeah. Really funny. Do you want to say it again? It's the English team that couldn't deal with the heat.

or something like that. Yeah, so it was good. It was fun. Yeah, it felt better as an ad lib. I said this on the live stream yesterday and I thought about this a lot. Do you think if you were going out with Carlos Sainz and you were in the Ferrari garage every weekend, do you think you'd feel less special going into the Williams garage every weekend now? I think it's a heritage team. I think I'd feel cool going to the Williams garage. Ferrari...

Who's got a better buffet spread, do you think? Ferrari or Williams? What would the Ferrari Williams be? Just a lot of... Quiche. A lot of yogurts? Yeah, Yeo Valley yogurts. Quiches. Yeah. Probably some Kinder Buenos. Like a tray of those, like, triangle sandwiches. I think for a British... Egg salad. Yeah. Cucumber. Exactly. Maybe some ham. Everything in the Williams buffet should be British. Monster Munch.

Is that a British company? Monster Munch is English. Do you know about... Oh, yeah, I suppose it's a Walker's brand, isn't it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure Monster Munch... From Walker's is, yeah. ...is British. I think everything there should be... an English type thing what's a classic British London Pride yeah London Pride toad in the hole yeah Bubble and Squeak Bubble and Squeak and Kimi Antonelli crashed out on lap one right

Can I have a word with you about the beginning of the race first? Because I've mentioned this on the live stream. Every single race I watch, they say, oh, it's a great start for so-and-so. How can you tell? Like, what do you like? It's you have got to have such eagle eyes to be able to see who starts well. And I don't remember the last time that somebody on poll didn't start well. Oh, OK. Well, I mean, I disagree.

Lando most races where he starts on pole. This was the first time I've seen him and he still had to fight with Oscar. It's twice this season that the pole sitter hasn't won the race. This was a, it was a really interesting, this was like upside down day, this race. It felt like all the teams were... everything went the other way this weekend for a lot of the teams. Yeah. They were borrowing each other's vibes. Yeah. And it was amazing to see the McLarens fighting with each other.

They're the only team that have equal machinery and the drivers are kind of equally talented. And as soon as they started pushing each other again at the end of the race, it was like...

They weren't conserving their tyres anymore. They were just flying down the road and... everybody else was just minutes behind them they were like lapping ninth by the end i think um christian horner aka whatsapp spice said after the race christian horner said what's truly impressive and for me i can't see any other team

being able to do it is when you look at how close oscar is able to run behind lando with a car fat on fuel at the beginning of the race he's basically making love to his fucking exhaust pipe for lap after lap and the tires are not dying i mean to me that is you know

That is their advantage. Where was this broadcast? I think it was after that. You know when Christian sits at his little table after the race and goes, Max didn't cheat. He's on Sky Sports going, he's humping his fucking exhaust pipe. No, he said fucking exhaust pipe. He's fucking his exhaust pipe. No, I don't think that was on Sky TV. I think that was probably saved for one of Helmut Marko's many media outlets. Right, okay.

I like that he said that. That's 90s F1. And I think that is the... I can't remember whether it was this season or last season, but there was a... was it when Piastri was leading a race and somebody else was just trailing him like was one like half a second behind him for an inordinate amount of time and it's like I've never seen two drivers race this close together for that long for that long it was crazy or was he behind I can't remember but yeah that

That is their advantage. Do you think Kimi crashed into Max as like a... This is my seat. You're not getting my seat. Bang. I don't think Kimi's worried about his seat. No, I don't think so. I don't think Toto... thinks that i'm i'm completely if i was kimmy i'd feel pretty secure that you're either racing with george or max verstappen yeah And that you are racing at Mercedes. Because it would just be so dumb to...

You know, use all your extra footage from Drive to Survive to create your own crystal clear WhatsApp program on Netflix. Netflix is the seat. See you later, Kimmy. Well, strange things have happened in Formula One, but I also think you'd be dumb to get rid of George Russell because he's the only one pulling in results. Yeah, but I think if you replaced him with Max, you'd also pull in some results. Arguably...

Better ones. Yeah, and I think the dumbest thing they could do is pair them up. Yeah. It would be a nightmare. But as Toto said, we had Lewis and Nico, so anything is possible.

Max is staying at Mercedes, Red Bull, or is he moving to Mercedes? What's your hot take? I have a kind of, I have a tepid take. What is it? I think he will leave Red Bull, but I don't think it's a foregone conclusion that he will go to Mercedes. You think he's going to go to Aston Martin? I think he could easily go to Aston Martin. And I think... Who's he going to replace?

at Aston Martin yeah fucking either or both no but who like bite somebody's fucking anybody who works at Aston Martin like you know if Max could approach Lance and say, who do you think should drive in Aston Martin next year, me or you? Lance would have to go... He couldn't confidently look Max Verstappen in the eye and go, well, I think I should. I should. Are you fucking high? Do you think Lauren Stroll...

wants to win enough that he'd fire his own son. I think his son would understand. And I think he would, I think he'd go, you, you do something else for a year. You'd be reserved driver for a year. And then if you. Prove, you know, you develop your skills for a year. You can replace Alonso or Max just comes in instead of Alonso. Or I don't know. But whatever you do, I think you move stuff around for Max.

You shake things up for Max. You break the mold for Max. I think you just go for it. And I think over the course of the year, I don't know how Formula One works. I don't pretend to. But what I imagine is... that gossip kills in this city. And...

The gossip and the murmurings around the paddock will start to emerge as to who has the strongest car for next year. All the teams will be trying to say, look, we're doing these times. Look, we've got we're ahead of the pack in this way. We've worked on this. technology and rumours stronger rumours will start to emerge about who's got the strongest in the strongest shape for 2026 and Max will be going I'll go there then I think Wheatley's got looking good man

I think Christian Horner, and I think we're really starting to see who made Red Bull great. And without... two of the key guys, we're really seeing them start to struggle. And you can see it in Kicks out of Sauber's results, which is that they're starting to get a lot better. And Red Bull, I mean, Yuki, I mean, what a...

Crappy weekend for Albon, crappy weekend for Yuki. Colopinto all over the place. Lance Stroll in his natural home in 14th. Pierre Gasly, a very bad weekend for him. Isaac Hajar, very bad weekend for him. Behrman, fine. And then everyone else had a great week. Huge weekend for Kicksalba. This race was not without drama. It wasn't the most fun race. No. But it had a couple of moments.

I think actually what you got from the race, which is I know that. It's easy to feel like you were shortchanged by the exchange between Piastri and Norris because Norris.

just he didn't get overtaken or he did but then he immediately overtook again took the place back like that was good exciting racing right at the top of the if you don't like that then and you had that right at the beginning right at the end of the race and you know arguably at the end of the race uh did you see what uh oscar said on the radio what alpine fucking him

Yeah. Yeah. Can't believe Alpine had fucked me after all these years. Very funny. Really funny. Very funny. And a nice bit of spunk from the young chap, I think. Yeah, and a nice, it's called a callback. Yeah. In comedy terms, isn't it? He had a nice little callback. And also, I... I did enjoy seeing a bit of Bortoletto because he's one of these rookies that's come in and we've been so focused on Lawson's swap and Hajar knocking it out of the park and Behrman, you know.

being a little cute little boy at the premiere. And I think that Bortoletto fighting with his manager. Yeah, that was fantastic. It was just sick. It was really cool. Star Wars Phantom Menace with Qui-Gon Jinn training Obi-Wan Kenobi. It was really nice to watch. And it was nice to see Liam Lawson have a good day. It was really nice to see him...

come back. And he had his swagger back when he was wandering around the paddock afterwards. Yeah, that I don't like. He looked like he was ready to bully a dweeb again.

We've got to wrap this up, but we can't wrap this up without saying welcome back to the paddock, Bernie Eccleston. Welcome back, you... You little... Little tortoise man. All right, Lando. He tried to put the medal on Lando and went, no, I can't. No, you can't. I can't fucking put this on your neck. I'm too little now. Because he's little, but he's also shrinking.

As comes with age. That's not me taking the piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think that maybe the reason that loads of people weren't there this week is because Bernie was there? Oh, yeah, maybe. I'm not doing that. Let him go. Hey, does anyone want to land there? What are you doing after this? Do you want to fly back?

Yeah, it looks like a great place to dry out. Yeah, I flew me plane here. Come on. Have you ever fired a gun out of an aeroplane? Come on, Lando. I'll give you a lift back. Listen, we've taken the piss out of Bernie so much on the show, but I will miss him. I will miss him when he's gone. How old is he? He is 422 years old. Yeah. Yeah. He looks it. No, he looks like a testicle dressed as a beetle. He's really dedicated to that old cut, isn't he? Yeah. And the big old, big old...

Goat. Yeah, he's got a proper goatee, hasn't he? Yeah. Do you think he looked around and was like, where are all the grid cows? He doesn't seem too confused. No? He seems like he's got his facilities in check, doesn't he? I wonder what his secret are. I'd like to see him on one of those American Bro podcasts where he talks about his daily routine. Bernie Eccleston said they need to keep...

Essentially, he said, I'm paraphrasing, but he went, keep the poor people out for me. They can't afford any of the brands that we advertise anyway. And do you think he looks around now at the movie making 144 million pounds in a week? And he looks at turn nine and goes, oh, that's a Lego. And oh, look, Disney are coming to F1. Do you think he goes, OK.

i was wrong no i don't think anybody in their 90s goes oh i was wrong what's the fucking point you just explain yourself away you just go ah yeah but it's worse isn't it and then you go i'll be dead soon i don't need to be wrong okay i don't need to make amends

for anything. I've got like months left. What are you giving this race out of ten? Seven. Yeah, I'm going to give this a seven. It's quite a high score for the week. It is, yeah. I also thought it was a good race weekend generally. I thought Qualies was good. Yeah, Qualies was lovely. I enjoyed the coverage. Good team. Missed Nico. Can't be said enough that, you know, we've...

Nico is a likeable figure of fun. And I don't know whether he would have a sense of humour about himself. I imagine not. But I like him, but I think he's funny and a quirky... quirky chap. But he's likable. He's got a likable... Yeah, he is. Yeah, he's become very likable. He's become very likable, but I'm not sure... I'm not sure if he knows why.

No, I don't think so. I think you could offend him really easily. As we learn. I know that you could offend him really easily. When he made a 12-year-old girl apologise on the air to him. Thanks to everyone who joined the live stream yesterday. We're going to do more of those probably. Not on a day that's hot. No, it was insane. I'm not ever doing that.

and a 32 degree day and you can buy tickets to my stand-up special which is being taped on the 12th of august august the 12th august the 12th it'll be tape committed to celluloid and I'm hoiked up on the big reels of YouTube studios in the Texas desert somewhere. Are you coming? To the taping of my special? I can't. I'm doing anything else. Oh, okay. No, I'll be there. So if you dislike Josh intensely but are a big fan of seeing me in the flesh, you could still come and laugh along.

but it'll be brilliant and I'm very much looking forward to it but I'm not sure I'm not going to come to both no there's a seven and a nine there's a seven and a nine but everyone listening come to both so by no don't come to both because you want the fresh laughter oh that's true come to one you don't want bums on seats Come to a show. There's a 7pm and a 9pm show and tickets are on sale now. I'm Josh Weller. And I'm Alfie Brown. And this is Dirty Air.