Childfree by Choice, Childless by Circumstance: A DINK Perspective | 004

It's true, even heterosexual couples are being told that they're not complete or not a family just because they don't have children.

It's a good thing we got married so the questions are less now. The DINKWAP Show

We want to clarify this, even this early. Being a DINK is not an attack on other couples' decision to have children. That's not it. That's not what we're trying to point out here.

And we're not saying that that decision is better than others. The DINKWAP Show Dual Income No Kids With a Podcast

Hi guys and welcome to another episode of The DINKWAP Show. I'm Rem.

I'm Alvia.

And the last episode, we talked about adoption. But before I go there, we almost forgot a few more types of DINKs. Because what we talked about in the past few episodes is DINKs who chose not to have children. So I think there's a couple more types of DINKs that we can talk about in this episode.

Yeah, that's it. So the most common, I would say, would be a married couple like us. Man, woman. And they try for a few years, sometimes more. I think now there are options. Science has helped, but it's expensive. And they're not 100% sure that they'll have children. So some have a few tries about it. And sometimes, they just don't succeed. We feel bad for those couples honestly.

We know people like that. We know couples who've been through that. Guys, it's heartbreaking. They really want to have children. But they don't get to.

They're not given children.

Then they receive comments on Facebook, with their family. In person. It's really insensitive.

So don't be that toxic uncle or auntie.

Don't be like that. Just... I don't know. Just let them be. I don't know. Maybe it's their way of... small talk?

Find a different topic.

It's the same thing every time. Every reunion. It's reunion season in the past holidays. There's a lot of people who probably got hurt. A lot of people fighting over family's estates.

What was that again? Dividing property.

Yeah. To those who watched Wicked.

That's the Filipino version.

Filipino version of... Defying Gravity.

We're really smart. We can do this.

So... The delivery was bad, but okay.

I'm sorry. We butchered it.

We can't do stand-up. But... There's another one.

Even less common.

Less common is... the same-sex couples. Of course... Especially if... they're both men. Of course... how can they have kids? At least a woman can still conceive.

The child can still be biological.

But...

Men can also have surrogacy.

There's that option?

Not here. The problem in the Philippines is... First, gay marriage is not legal yet. And I know that surrogacy is not legal yet. Something like that. Even if they want to adapt as a couple, I don't think it's possible because they don't recognize you.

Oh, I see.

I don't know. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I hope it's possible.

Maybe just for one. But if you're two, I don't think it's possible.

What do you mean just one?

I mean, you can't be both the father. It can't be put in the birth certificate. Maybe. Again, I'm not a lawyer. I'm not from DPWH.

DPWH.

But I know that. I mean, that makes sense because you can't... There's no space there. It's just Mother and Father in the birth certificate.

Just because the form can't be changed.

I don't know. Again, I don't know. So I just feel like that.

I really feel like that's the reason. They don't want to reprint.

But I feel like that.

What should we do with this form?

If marriage between two is not allowed, why would they allow it to be parents?

It's sad, right?

Unless it's allowed. I don't know. Enlighten me.

If we have friends who watch this, they know more about it. There's a chance.

I hope so.

But that's what I want to point out. For example, we don't want to impose, of course. But if you're trying and it seems to be impossible, you could look into adoption. We talked about that last episode. Now, you said that same-sex couples who are not legal here, it's a bit difficult. I hope that even if it's not marriage, they'll allow it.

I know. For example, if you're a guy, you won't be recognized as family. Even if you've been together for a long time. That's what I know.

So sad.

If we weren't married, we can be common law. You'll be a common law spouses. It's just sad. I hope that eventually.

Even if, like heterosexual couples, they're still being told that they're not complete or family, when they don't have a child.

It's good that we're married. So there are less questions now.

We got married because... By law, there are things that...

Oh, okay. Easier.

It's easier. For example, if something happens to me, they can easily transfer the properties to you.

And if you're in an emergency room, you won't be allowed in unless you're family.

Those practical things.

It's weird.

It's so weird. It hurts. You won't be allowed in just because you're not married. That's hard.

So this episode turned sad.

The last episode was fun. Sorry, guys.

So anyway, what else do we have?

Maybe, having said all these in the past few episodes, this will be the primer of DINKWAP Show. That will be the theme of the whole podcast. And aside from this, of course, there will be times that we will have life updates.

Friends.

Friends. Yes. We will actually invite our friends over. The ones who decided to be DINKs.

Or just some friends.

Yes. And also just our friends. We just have a common theme. And of course, sometimes, there are things that are not related to being a DINK.

Just anything.

More about us. More about other people. Maybe about business. The businessmen we know. How they started. We will interview them. Because they have a lot of stories to tell. And these stories are very, very valuable. We learn from them. And we really believe that those stories, they should get recorded. In one way or another. Even if it's just here in our shenanigans.

And we can share to our 10 listeners.

It would be a waste. Because when we talk to them, it's nice to talk to them. So that will be the content of our podcast. And really watch out for, especially for DINK-curious. There's a term for it.

I just laughed at the term. I know. I just laughed.

You're judging me again. That's how we are as a married couple. We judge each other.

Instead of pulling each other up

That's us. We're the couple that's pulling each other down. We're the epitome of the Philippine society.

Microcosm. Wow! Microcosm! Comeback!

When there's no more bearing.

I want to share that.

But that's where I was surprised. We realized that when we're building the notion that we're DINKs, that's what it's called. Then we realized that we're not alone in our circle. And we want to clarify this. Being a DINK is not an attack on other couples' decision to have children. That's not what we're trying to say here.

And we're not saying that that decision is better than others. This lifestyle is not for everyone.

Yes.

Maybe someday we change our minds.

Everything is still possible. Maybe we'll regret everything we say here.

We can delete this from the internet.

But we just want the stigmas around being DINKs, adoption, and things like that to go away. We need to normalize that you have that choice to actually have children or to not have children. That's on you as the couple. Those who aren't involved in your relationship shouldn't influence you. You're having children because your friends pressured you.

Does that happen? I was about to say your aunt or your parents.

Or your aunts who only come home every Christmas and pressure you.

You're not even close.

They don't even give you presents.

They give you chocolate and questions.

It should be normal.

I read something online. It reached a point where she doesn't show up at social gatherings anymore. Because she's always being interrogated. They're finding it hard to have a baby.

Others choose to be snarky. "Are you the one who'll pay for the child's education?" "If you're going to pay for its education, I'll have a baby." Life is hard.

Your brother told your mom, "We don't have a house yet." And then she tried to find them a house.

She really wants to have a grandchild.

She found a way.

Actually, that nephew of mine is their first grandchild. They won't get any from us. Sorry, guys.

I used the reverse uno card with her. I told her, "your son is really hard to take care of." Reverse uno card.

Because I'm forever a baby.

He's the only one. More than enough. Ehhhhhh. Annoying.

Anyway.

What a senseless ending.

Let's end this. Thank you for watching another episode of the DINKWAP Show.

Let's do this.

See you on the next episode.

This is for the thumbnail.

Is it this one?

Thank you!

I hope we have a guest on the next episode. Alright, bye! You were listening to the DINKWAP Show.