Yes we know they’re in Brooklyn, but is Brooklyn in them? Cause last time we checked, people like Brooklyn. The borough, not the team...We’re talking America’s Knicks, The Lakers’ fully-absent chemistry, and Vivian, the apparition with more followers than Tolliver. We’re also playing Defend That Tweet: Co-host Edition. Turns out Claire loves The Lumineers!
Give my man his flowers! Devin Booker gets overlooked more than Black people tryna hail taxis. Shoutout to uber! We’re talking his and Luka’s effortless brilliance, the much-maligned Rudy Gobert, and LaMarcus Aldridge’s sudden retirement. Also we each do Doris Burke impressions. All with the hilarious wit of Yahoo sportswriter extraordinaire Seerat Sohi. Cannot miss this one. Twitter: @seeratsohi IG: @seeratsohi
Like why not, right? We’re talking Paul George’s Cabal of Anonymous, Virgin Stans, A.Rod buying the forever hapless Wolves, Draymond’s cry for help, and more! A lot more, actually!
This episode brought to you by Henny sweats and vertigo. We would need a week to sleep off whatever Paul Pierce did over the weekend, bless his heart. We’re talking Paige Buckets’ phenomenal future, Jalen Suggs’ bank heard round the world, Space Jam and Jrue Holiday’s bananas payday.
Halle Berry’s nude scene in ‘Swordfish’ is 10 times as interesting as last week’s trade deadline moves. We BRIEFLY talk about that American classic, the suddenly bereft Lakers, the blockbuster deal that wasn’t, and the probably-illegal new-look Nets lineup. We’re joined by longtime Lakers writers, radio hosts, and podcasters (The Land O’ Lakers) the Kamenetzky Brothers! Come get a sip of this INSIGHT and ANALYSIS, you thirsty little toad!
Well. It was fun while it lasted. Maybe we didn’t need solid gold air pods, maybe we did. Only dogs can judge us! This week we mourned Lebron’s ankle, excoriated the NCAA, talked potential trade destinations, and made unfortunate rookie of the year projections - get well soon LaMelo!
A wagon is a big butt. We really only spend like 46 seconds on that, and yet it’s in the title. The heart wants what it wants. This week we’re talking Meyers Leonard’s Victrola-era racism, our aspirational hopes for the Sixers, and chips, the potato kind. Cape Cod on 3!
We’re dreaming of Jumbo’s Clown Room, weed sponsorship, and Tracee Ellis Ross’ thousand yard glare. Lebron goes full Capricorn on bigots, we flame Michael B. Boredom aka The Bachelor, and mentally make it rain on that ass.
It’s Pisces season, and yes, we have been sobbing! We stop our Notebook marathon long enough to talk to very special guest Wosny Lambre, sportswriter, tv host and fashion killer extraordinaire. Listen to Claire and Tolliver drag Nate Duncan one last time (jk, it’s a segment now), and see if Wos can defend his most controversial tweets. Spoiler: Kind of!
I know everyone who listens to Dimes and Dozens got laid last night, but prayers up to team Lubriderm. We’re talking Steph Curry’s MVP chase, seeding predictions, and our collective failure of Britney Spears. Bye bye bye, Justin!
Mark Cuban and Luka —> Kate x Leo. The Mav’s owner and histrionic land shark has gotta be excited about his star player’s performance recently, and we are too! We’re talking the resurgent Slovenian, the MVP race between Methuselah, thicc joker and Joel, and favorite halftime shows. ‘She Will Be Loved’ is better than Prince’s entire catalogue.
Y’all we just want Bradley to be happy. My man putting up more shots than the Mayo Clinic, get him to the beach! We’re talking the Wizard’s sleeping rabbit in the hat, the Mav’s Kristaps mishaps and our picks for All-Star starters. Who else had Malcolm Brogdon starting? Bingo?
We put out our good china and Febrezed the curtains for our very first guest: sportswriter, tv writer and columnist Dave Schilling! We talk about the unlovable Clips, Collin Sexton’s Nets and getting dumped under fluorescent lights.
He really is just a guy with a face and arms who says words out loud. We talk about his bloodlust, the suddenly turnt Eastern Conference, and Drake’s Retirement. His songs are trap lullabies!
Are you following Trump’s burner account? It’s a riot! We talk about, you know, the insurrection, the NBA’s Covid catastrophe and Steph Curry’s phenomenal flex. Don’t all charge into this episode at once!
Deandre Aint’on the docket! Sorry to this man, but we can’t get excited about the Suns. So this week we’re playing GAMES, baby. Enjoy these rapid fire answers peppered with our usual thirst and sharp takes. Remember when your teacher was hungover and you got to watch Fern Gully on VHS? It’s kinda like that. We are young!
Welcome to season 2, and as such, another year of Clippers roasts. This episode’s title is pulled directly from a Paul George press conference, or might as well be, because it’s absolute nonsense. We make way-too-early projections, talk Playboi Carti’s weekend of L’s and marvel at celebrity baby names. Acid is a hell of a drug!
Sorry for the CAPS, we’re just so excited for the season to start after a full *checks watch* 30 minute offseason. Kyrie casts out the demons, James embraces his and THT makes the case for MVP (🤷🏿♂️).
Kyrie, the bitter altruist! Lebron’s tipsy tête-à-tête! The Battle of LA: Second String Showdown! All this and more on this xtra thicc episode 🤠.
Russ and John Wall are that Spider-Man pointing meme come to life. Demar the Chosen gave us the quote of the year, and Dionne went to WarWith all your favorite rappers. Happy holidays!
LaMelo and Gordon sounds like a buddy cop duo that dies 5 minutes into the movie. Splash brothers they are not! We’re talking the draft, the daft, and Charlotte’s dubious math.
These Rockets are...out of fuel? Russell wants out, James wants out, Daryl is gone, the perennial coulda shoulda woulda is probably over. We speculate, gesticulate and investigate next week’s potential free-agent firestorm, and rediscover our love for Zach Lavine. Surprise!
Just woke up in a cold sweat, shit was crazy. Dreamt Trump was President and we were in the middle of a pandemic and basketball was coming back like 27 minutes after a champion was crowned. Gotta stop eating flamin hots before bed xoxo Enjoy this victory-lap ass episode, we flame the administration, celebrate and talk about James Wiseman for exactly 7 seconds.
Why is there an incest subplot in Back to the Future? I guess why not? We’re talking Daryl Morey as the Sixers newest Fresh Prince, Kendall’s Haunting Halloween and completely avoiding thinking about the election (it’s all we’re thinking about).
We talmbout the Dodgers, wild Lakers rumors and the impossibly sexy and tall DJ Akademiks and his love of Birkin bags.
You sent questions, we received them with love, burned a couple with fire, then produced this episode! Chris Paul to the Lakers? Will we see future episodes of Keeping up with the Clairedashians? Does Tolliver really look like Will.i.am? No! He doesn’t!
2020’s selfish ass finally gave us SOMETHING. Well, it gave Lakers fans something. Our purple and gold kings once again reign supreme thanks to the heroics of Kyle Alexander Kuzma, Dion Waiters and a stray cat that wandered into the arena looking for redemption. We update the G.O.A.T. meter, pay deference to the hard-charging Heat and look into Claire’s scarily-accurate crystal ball.
‘I’m a bucket,’ he yelled into the void, blissfully unaware of the harsh realities of facing a Lebron James-led team in the NBA finals. Listen to us confidently rag on Jimmy and Co., mock the ever mockable Hydroxychloroquine King, and test our BDE meter. And to think this was recorded on the lord’s day!
We all love to see Skip suffer existentially, and the playoffs have been nothing short of a manic episode for the Clippers last, sharp-tongued fan. We roast him, make finals predictions based on matchups and DESIRE, and enjoy the musical stylings of *checks notes Vin Diesel?
Shaken, and also a little stirred! Talmbout the life-changing 5-second earthquake heard round the world aka Atwater Village, our personal NBA awards - Meme Team, anyone? - and the robbery of LeBron James.
