Christa Romano: [00:00:00] Hey there and welcome to the Digital Nomad Life podcast. I'm your host Christa, also known as @christabellatravels on social media. You can always feel free, by the way, to slide into my DMs on Instagram. Tell me that you heard this podcast. I actually love to talk to you and I love to hear from you and I love an episode request.
Christa Romano: And that's actually what this episode is based off of. It's Based off of a lot of conversations I've been having recently with people in my DMs who slide in and tell me, Hey Christa, I heard your podcast. I want to become a digital nomad too. Can you help me? And then I'm like, fuck yeah, I can help you. I'd love to help you.
Christa Romano: Like that's what my whole mission on earth is. I love this. And so then I start to talk to them and then I learned about them and then, they tell me their hopes and their dreams. And then I respond to them. What I think their best plan of action is. And a lot of times, um, you know, what I will say is like, Hey, I actually developed a program for people that will help them to the best of my abilities.
Christa Romano: And it's called the Digital Nomad Life Academy or the DNLA. And recently I held a live event where I [00:01:00] shared about how people could join the DNLA after. And a lot of people I've been talking to them. And they're telling me, wow, the DNLA sounds amazing, I would love to do it, but I just feel like now isn't the right time.
Christa Romano: And that's, again, what this episode is about. It's about, is this really not the right time? Or are you just actually self sabotaging?
Christa Romano: Is the quote, reason why you're not taking action on your dreams right now valid? Or are you actually just avoiding some kind of uncomfortable feeling? That's what self sabotage is, by the way, is avoiding an uncomfortable feeling, but we do it unconsciously. Now, if you guys have been listening to my podcast for a while, you know, I love to get me into some psychology talk, and that is going to actually be a big part of this conversation because I'm not here to just tell you the answers, right?
Christa Romano: I want you to be able to feel figure out what is the truth for you. But we can't figure out our truth if we don't even understand ourselves and we don't know what to look out [00:02:00] for when we are possibly on the brink of self sabotage. Now just to make this clear. Like, Everybody, including myself, self sabotages.
Christa Romano: We all do it. We are all human. There is no amount of, self awareness that will allow us to not act like a human, for us to not feel low vibe feelings, and for us to not avoid things that are uncomfortable. But with more self awareness and more awareness of that, Some of these key psychology concepts, the more we can catch these things.
Christa Romano: And that's how we're going to move closer and closer to our dream life. So yeah, in this episode today, we're talking all about time so that you can figure out is now the right time for you. Are you self sabotaging and either way, what is it? All right, there's a couple of psychology concepts that I want to make sure that I cover in this episode today, and one is about how deep the subconscious goes and our primary goal of our subconscious, [00:03:00] and two, Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs.
Christa Romano: So let's just first, I think, describe like, what is the subconscious? And hopefully this is not news to anybody, but if it is amazing, welcome to the club. So imagine an iceberg, right? An iceberg where, or a diagram of an iceberg where we can see that the top part of the iceberg that's floating above the water is actually only 25 percent of the full mass of the iceberg.
Christa Romano: So what's below the surface? That is what you could consider our consciousness, what's above the surface, and our subconsciousness, what's below the surface. What's above the surface, our consciousness, is when we are looking around and we are aware of our thoughts and you know, we're, we're, uh, intentionally picking up that cup or we're driving our car All these things are our conscious. behaviors. But what is in the subconscious? Well, the subconscious is actually what really runs the show of our lives because it is [00:04:00] 75 percent if not more of our brain and of who we are. So our subconscious includes literally all of us. All of our belief systems, every memory that we've literally ever had, short term and long term memories, all of our bodily functions, our values,
Christa Romano: our emotions, our involuntary reactions,
Christa Romano: all of our triggers, all of our relationships, all of this lives in our subconscious.
Christa Romano: And why is this important? Why is this in fact something that I teach in the very, very, very first module for anybody that joins a DNLA? Because the thing about becoming a digital nomad is that on our conscious level, right? The little bit that's above the iceberg, it's above the surface. That is where I think usually people are trying to take action from.
Christa Romano: They're signing up to watch a webinar. They're listening to a podcast. They're thinking, I just need to do [00:05:00] more. I just need to get a better idea. I just need to grow. I just need to make a little bit more money. I just need to clear my schedule. I just need to be more disciplined, more focused. All of that stuff is what's in that 25 percent or less.
Christa Romano: part of our conscious mind. But what's beneath the surface again, all of our values, all of our fears, all of our emotions. So what's beneath the surface and what's much, much bigger is our fear of failure, our fear of rejection, our fear of. Um, upsetting our parents or not being loved by our parents, our value system for what we think, is meaningful to us and what's not, um, all of our belief systems about ourselves.
Christa Romano: What do we believe we are capable of? What do we believe that we're not capable of? How do we view ourselves? Our whole self concept is in our subconscious. So there's a lot, a lot, a lot there that ends up, [00:06:00] somehow coming to the surface in the process of becoming a digital nomad or of changing your life in any way and becoming an entrepreneur.
Christa Romano: And it's not that it's wrong for any of the stuff that comes to the surface, but what we have to be aware of is that on the thin line, right? Like that, water level of when the subconscious meets the consciousness, we have These little soldiers, you could think about them as right little soldiers that wants to keep anything negative that's in our subconscious down there.
Christa Romano: It wants to protect our conscious mind so much so that our conscious mind can move forward in la la land, essentially protecting our ego, allowing ourselves to think that we are competent, we are capable, we are confident. And, uh, this is how we end up. You know, like having success in life is when our conscious mind can feel really good about whatever the thing is that we are [00:07:00] doing.
Christa Romano: But actually the trick about all of this is that our conscious mind has such limited information and it's not really connected with our emotions and therefore sometimes when we make decisions based too much on our heads and not on our hearts Right? Your head is the conscious part. Your head is the one that's like thinking about time and money and the one that's overthinking it.
Christa Romano: And what's in your subconscious is what you actually deeply desire. It's your hopes and dreams and it's your fears. So imagine that your conscious mind decides to come to my webinar, come to five steps to work from wherever, the training that I held the other day. So you consciously decide that you're going to come to this webinar and then you sit there and then you listen to all the content.
Christa Romano: And your conscious mind, your ego, is like, yes, yes, yes, this makes sense. Yes, I can do this. Oh, it sounds amazing. Love it. Love it. Love it. And then you even go so far as to message me. And then I'm like, [00:08:00] hey, okay, like, here's the solution. Like, here's what you do. Do you want to sign up for the DNLA? And then, now, What your subconscious is getting activated because as soon as you sign up, what's actually going to happen inside of your system psychologically is that it's going to undergo a big change.
Christa Romano: Okay, now we're going to stop and pause for a sec. Remember that the subconscious. Does not like change. What the subconscious likes is consistency because consistency feels safe. It is predictable. And what's not predictable is therefore possibly unsafe. And your subconscious mind has one job, by the way, and that job is to keep you safe.
Christa Romano: By the way, because your subconscious is not a physical thing, but it's actually just your energy, it's your, like, in your consciousness, it's your soul, it's your [00:09:00] spirit, it can't actually distinguish between what is real
Christa Romano: and what's just a figment of your imagination. So, your subconscious mind does not discriminate between what's real and what's a figment of your imagination. And anytime that you imagine something bad happening, your subconscious is like, Oh no, red alert, red alert, red alert. This feels dangerous and we're going to shut down the whole thing and we're going to make sure that the conscious mind is not allowed to go forward.
Christa Romano: Because remember, the subconscious mind is so much stronger because it's so much bigger. And when our subconscious is feeling really scared, if those little guards at the surface of our consciousness are really on high alert, then this is how we end up self sabotaging. So, we might have this deep, deep desire to change our life and to have something that's um, better and more fulfilling to us, but changing our life requires change.
Christa Romano: And that feels scary [00:10:00] to our subconscious. So our subconscious is probably going to find ways to prevent you from taking action on accomplishing your goals because your subconscious thinks, well, even though we're not super happy right now,
Christa Romano: well, we're better with the devil that we know than the devil that we don't. If you know that expression, right? The subconscious would still prefer. for a negative situation. If the unknown is that unknown, because the unknown could have more negative situations and what your subconscious mind is going to start doing is looking for possible negative situations to avoid in order to keep you safe.
Christa Romano: And this is where the self sabotage begins. So fascinating, isn't it? So, okay, now I want to share with you this, um, concept of Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs. And then we're going to pair these two concepts of the subconscious and Maslow's hierarchy of needs together. So, um, Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs It's a psychology theory that's been around since the [00:11:00] 50s, developed by a psychologist named Abraham Maslow, who theorizes that humans need to have their most basic needs met before they can get their less basic needs met.
Christa Romano: And your needs go all the way from your physiological needs, which is air, food, shelter, clothing. Like, that is a most basic need. basic physiological need that we must have in order to survive. And if we don't have that, we cannot think next about our next needs, which is our safety needs. And our safety is our personal safety, our money, like our employment, our health.
Christa Romano: So, uh, We might not have a job, but if we don't have a place to sleep that night, our primary responsibility for that day and our primary driver is going to be to find a place to sleep, to find a place to eat. We need to eat food before we can go find money. But if we are [00:12:00] safe with our food and our drink and our shelter, then we can go about taking care of one of our most basic needs.
Christa Romano: Right above that, right above physiological is safety, which money is involved in. Okay. The level up from that. Once we have our air, food, shelter, water, we are safe and we have some kind of income and we, we feel like we're at least physically secure. The next basic human need. That we have is love and belonging.
Christa Romano: Literally, we need to feel that we have a sense of connection in our life in order to become our best self. If we don't have that, then we cannot achieve the next level of our needs. which is self esteem. That's having respect for yourself. That's having um, strength and freedom. A lot of the things that come along with choosing the digital nomad life fall into the esteem category or one higher than that, [00:13:00] which is self actualization.
Christa Romano: So self actualization is at the very top of the pyramid. It's the tiniest little triangle at the top. And self actualization is your desire to be. The best that you can be is to reach your human potential. So here's the thing. if we work from the top down, we cannot become self actualized. We cannot reach our full potential.
Christa Romano: If we don't feel good about ourselves, if we don't have some self respect, if we don't have any self esteem, we're never going to be able to come our best version. We're never going to self actualize. And we cannot. Have self respect. We cannot feel any kind of self esteem if we feel that we are not lovable because we don't have friends, because we don't have family, because we don't have people that care about us.
Christa Romano: So above your need for, right, your physiological needs, again, air, food, shelters, sleep, and above your need for money, [00:14:00] right above that is love and belonging. And you need that more. You need that more, so much more than you need even your own self esteem and you need that even more, more, more than you need to reach your full potential with your self actualization.
Christa Romano: So Krista, why is this relevant? Why are you talking about this in terms of, is it the right time? Because I don't know if it's the right time for you, right? But what I do know is that what tends to happen is that people get triggered specifically by the love and belonging. stage of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Christa Romano: And even though they are aware that their self actualization is available to them by, you know, taking action on their dreams and becoming a digital nomad, if they feel now here's the subconscious part coming in how we're marrying these two things together, right? If they feel or if their subconscious feels that the people around them are not going [00:15:00] to accept them if they choose this kind of alternative lifestyle, then that middle of the pyramid part of the ladder gets shaken that that need for love and security and we will choose to make other people happy around us.
Christa Romano: before we self actualize. And this is why people, people please, right? This is why people pleasing is a thing. And this is why we tend to choose the path that is laid out before us by society and not by what we actually really desire. Because what we really desire that comes from the place of wanting to self actualize.
Christa Romano: Which all humans ultimately want that. All humans ultimately want to reach our full potential. But we might tell ourselves that we don't want to reach our full potential or we're not ready to achieve our full potential because one of our lower and more basic human needs is getting possibly [00:16:00] triggered.
Christa Romano: Now, why is this being triggered and how can we overcome it? Well, we also have an answer for that. Well, the answer for this is to do that shadow work and get real with yourself that like you are not going to be unlovable or rejected by your society or your loved ones who actually matter to you if you choose the path of self actualization.
Christa Romano: But what your subconscious is going to do is it's going to say, yeah, but if we choose the entrepreneurship path. Then we're not going to be satisfying mom's and dad's desire for us to be a lawyer. And therefore mom and dad might not love us anymore. And therefore it's not worth it for us to pursue this digital nomad life.
Christa Romano: And we should actually just become a lawyer because that's what's going to make us feel more loved and respected by mom and dad who we deeply feel that we need the approval of. Another example that goes even deeper is about having your money scarcity [00:17:00] triggered. Okay, so I'm not saying whoever you are that you don't have money like or that you do have money, I have no idea what your financial situation is, right?
Christa Romano: But what a lot of people say is, Oh, I can't invest in a coaching program because I don't have enough money. So when money comes into the picture, we know that safety needs are being triggered. And that's only one up from physiological. That's literally only one up from food, shelter, air and water. So, um, when we think that, uh, we don't have enough money, then our subconscious is like, red alert, red alert, red alert.
Christa Romano: Like our safety needs are being, uh, possibly violated. And if we invest money into this coach and we don't get success or we don't have results fast enough, then our safety needs are going to be at stake and therefore we might die. We're not going to get our needs met. And so even though actually you might be able to afford a coaching program.
Christa Romano: If you don't [00:18:00] have the, self trust in yourself enough that you will be able to, you know, say, make the money back from a program, then you're gonna freak out and your subconscious is going to self sabotage. It's going to get in the way of your conscious mind making a logical decision.
Christa Romano: Your emotions are going to seep up from your subconscious and completely hijack your conscious mind. Cause remember your conscious mind has chosen to listen to this podcast. Your conscious mind is the one that's manifesting your reality. Your conscious mind is the one that chose to say, come to a free training that I held or follow me on Instagram or send me a message or whatever.
Christa Romano: Like your conscious mind wants that because that's what ultimately. You are striving for like your conscious mind is the one that's much more fixated on your self actualization
Christa Romano: But your subconscious is what actually runs the show your [00:19:00] subconscious again is like the supercomputer Compared to the computer. It's that what's below the iceberg versus what's above the iceberg and what's in your subconscious is The need to have all of your fundamental needs met What's in your subconscious is the need to have enough money.
Christa Romano: What's in your subconscious is the innate drive, the instinct to go eat when you're hungry. It's to drink when you're thirsty. It's to go to sleep when you feel tired. It's to have sex when you want to have sex. Like, all those things are fundamental. fundamental needs, and those come first above literally all else.
Christa Romano: Why else do you think that we get hangry, right? Like our subconscious is like, Oh my gosh, our body is hungry. Our physiological need is getting triggered and we better make sure that we send strong enough signals to that conscious mind that it knows it better fucking eat right now. Otherwise, we're not gonna be able to do anything.
Christa Romano: anything else. We're not even going to be nice to the people around us. We're [00:20:00] literally going to sabotage our need of love and belonging because we are hungry. And that's why we're unpleasant when we're hungry because what matters more is our need for food than our need to be kind to people and our need to be in a loving experience.
Christa Romano: So, really, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is so important to understand and to study, and I just, I really encourage you to just take a quick Google and look at it, screenshot it, and put it on your screensaver until you memorize it, because this really is a way for you to help, yourself develop more self awareness and you can check in with yourself on like, okay, am I making this decision because one of my deeper, more fundamental needs is being triggered?
Christa Romano: And I'm not saying that that need wouldn't be triggered, right? Like what I said earlier is I have no idea what your financial situation is. You might be really fucking broke. I have no idea. But also I know that I've been broke before and I've still been able to make [00:21:00] my dreams come true because I've been able to have this conversation with my subconscious of like, Oh shit, like I, I see that I'm scared about running out of money.
Christa Romano: Like this is scary. Yes. But my desire was in my. Consciousness is strong enough that I'm going to figure out a way to self soothe through my fear of one of my deeper needs to be, at bay. So if you know my story, like if you listen to my very first episode of this podcast, um, I feel like I tell different parts of my story a lot in, in different episodes.
Christa Romano: But, um, a big part of my story is that when I was, uh, in my young 20s back when I was working in corporate, um, I got fired from my corporate job and I was living paycheck to paycheck at the time in New York City. So I really didn't have money and, uh, I just, I just didn't, uh, frankly, but what I really, really.
Christa Romano: wanted [00:22:00] was to travel the world. I really, really wanted to reach my potential. And so I was aware of my fundamental needs of safety and security. And also I was aware of my desire to self actualize. And so what I did was I thought, okay, well, how can I make sure that I'm having.
Christa Romano: My basic needs met so that I can continue to pursue my self actualization of traveling the world and becoming a digital nomad. while not freaking out and self sabotaging. So what did I do? I thought, okay, well, um, I'm feeling scared about money. Okay, well, what do I need to do about that in order to feel safe?
Christa Romano: And this is where shadow work comes in and why it's so important. So, um, what I did at that time, I didn't know that I was doing shadow work at the time, but what I did was I made out a big list of all the worst case scenarios. And then I wrote out what I would do in all of those [00:23:00] worst case scenarios.
Christa Romano: for example, like I really wanted to move abroad by October of that year. And so a fear that I had was fear of failure. what if I like worked, worked, worked really hard and I still didn't save up enough money and then I couldn't go and then what would happen? Well, what would happen would be that I would have just like basically thrown my lease.
Christa Romano: down the drain and I would have had to move back to my parents house in Massachusetts that I really didn't want to do and um, I would have had to get like a waitressing job and uh, yeah. So those were all things that I was like, I really don't want that. Like that is actually kind of like a worst case scenario for me if I don't get my shit together by October because that's when my lease but when wrote out that worst case scenario Then I was like, all right, well, okay, let's say that I do have to get a waitressing job, like, why, why does that feel like the worst case scenario?
Christa Romano: And what I realized, [00:24:00] why that felt like the worst case scenario to me was because I felt I would have felt embarrassed about quote, going backwards, because I used to be a waitress when I was in high school. And then, you know, everybody in my town was like college graduates, like going to fancy schools and stuff like that.
Christa Romano: And I didn't want to feel like a loser. So, um, then I had to get real with myself. I'm like, am I actually a loser though? If I do end up in this situation and that's where self love comes in, which actually brings us all full circle, because if you can love yourself enough. you can hold yourself enough through any kind of challenging moment, then actually you're going to realize that that need for love and belonging that you always had, and you always have, and you have it within you because you are inherently lovable and that your ability to make money, like if you love yourself enough to not [00:25:00] talk shit about yourself, to stop talking Stop saying that you're dumb or that you're incapable or that you're so stupid, stupid, stupid.
Christa Romano: Like whatever the voice is inside of your head. If you don't have that voice inside of your head or you can make peace with it, you're going to stop freaking out about putting yourself in a financial situation that feels a little bit risky. Like I don't want you to go do something reckless and irresponsible and like throw everything away.
Christa Romano: But a lot of times we don't actually invest in ourselves because we don't trust ourselves to, not, basically fuck up our money situation. So a lot of times when people tell me that, oh, now isn't the right time to invest. it's not the right time for me to take action on my dreams.
Christa Romano: because I don't have the money or whatever. it's usually not actually because they don't have the money. Like, in fact, I would say that my program is very, very affordable, with the payment plan options. And I guarantee you that the majority of people that say, Oh, I can't do it right now because I [00:26:00] don't have the money in my bank account right now.
Christa Romano: It's like, Okay, like that probably is true for some people and for other people that's actually an excuse and it's something about them not trusting themselves that they're going to show up for themselves and actually be able to make that money back. So here's the thing. I will never actually know when I'm just talking to someone in the DMs because I don't have full context of their life.
Christa Romano: I don't have full context of their bank account. But if you're listening to this episode because you're like, yeah, I really just don't think it's the right time and you're looking for validation on that, whether it is or isn't the right time. What I really, really, really suggest that you do here is to do the shadow work to figure out like, okay, if I chose this path, right?
Christa Romano: If you're like leaning towards joining the DNLA or you're leaning towards investing in a different coach or you're leaning towards, taking any kind of action on your dream life now [00:27:00] versus later, I want you to ask yourself, what's the worst case All of the worst case scenarios, all the worst things that could possibly happen if you actually do do this.
Christa Romano: Take this path. Like, if you decide to go all in, how could it possibly be totally fucked up? Like, is there going to be someone that, uh, gets mad at you? Is there someone who gets sad at you? Right? Like, do you think that, becoming a digital nomad means that you're going to have to say goodbye to all of your family and friends?
Christa Romano: Because if that's what you actually believe, guess what? You're never going to become a digital nomad because your need for love and belonging is going to trump your need for self actualization, but the truth is probably that you won't be completely rejected by your family and friends, maybe by your friends, but if you are, they probably weren't your real friends to begin with and you might as well go find some better friends who are more aligned with the self [00:28:00] actualized version of yourself, which is the most highest authentic version of yourself.
Christa Romano: I can't tell you how many times I have spoken to a client and I've done a career assessment call with them. Um, which if, you're new here to like a career assessment call is when I get on the phone with somebody, I analyze their personality and then I suggest a remote career to them. And the number of times I've suggested a career to someone and then I sense that they're hesitant.
Christa Romano: So then I'm like, You know, I inquire about it and I'm like, okay, where is this coming from? Or like, what do you think would be the worst thing that would happen if you did choose this? And usually it's that there's like, a sister or a friend or someone who would judge them and they feel so scared of that judgment.
Christa Romano: Because remember this is triggering the love and belonging part of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Um, they feel so scared about that judgment that they don't want to take action. This is also why people are afraid to show up on social media. They feel like it. If they show up and the content that they post is quote [00:29:00] cringe, uh, by some people that they went to high school with, they're going to shy away from posting.
Christa Romano: But this isn't how we self actualize. The way that we self actualize. The way that we become the person that we want to be, the person that we dream of, the person that we are manifesting ourselves to be is by taking action that could possibly trigger one of our fundamental needs, because remember, our subconscious wants to keep us safe, our subconscious wants to keep things consistent, our subconscious wants to keep things predictable, but predictable and predictable.
Christa Romano: That's staying inside of your comfort zone and nothing exciting happens in your comfort zone. Growth happens outside of your comfort zone. Therefore, you need to put some of your needs a little bit on the line if you actually want to become the best version of yourself. If you actually [00:30:00] want to accomplish your dreams.
Christa Romano: And again, this is why shadow work and introspection is so incredibly important, because when you actually do do the inquiry, the self inquiry, and you say okay, I feel like this fundamental need of mine is getting triggered here. I'm worried about what people will think. I'm worried about my love and belonging as being triggered.
Christa Romano: Like people might judge me. They might ostracize me. They might reject me. they might think that I'm cringed. They might think that I'm weird. So now you need to write out all those worst case scenarios, right? And ask yourself, Am I going to let this worst case scenario actually get in the way of me accomplishing my dreams?
Christa Romano: But the thing is, our subconscious, remember those little guardians, the little guards that are guarding between the subconscious and the conscious mind, they are not always allowing those worst case scenarios to filter up into your conscious mind because it wants to keep your conscious mind clean and [00:31:00] safe.
Christa Romano: It doesn't want these negative thoughts, ruminating thoughts in your conscious mind. Also, side note, this is why people have anxiety because especially when we are about to fall asleep, when we are about to fall asleep, our brain waves are changing from our conscious mind into our, subconscious.
Christa Romano: Like when we sleep, then our conscious mind is turned off and our subconscious mind is turned on. And when we're about to fall asleep. we're on the edge of that subconscious. And so that's when we have these ruminating thoughts of all of these disasters, because they're in our subconscious anyway, like they're always there.
Christa Romano: It's not that they're not there. Just you're not thinking about them during the day when you're operating in your conscious mind. So ruminating thoughts before we're going to unless we meditate and we allow ourselves. subconscious mind to show itself into our conscious mind so that we can actively look at it and then say, Oh, now that I can see it, now that I'm [00:32:00] looking at it, now that the guards have gone to sleep and are allowing me to actually inspect what's really in my subconscious, now you can make a conscious decision about how to move forward in your life.
Christa Romano: I think that, uh, yes, I've, done the thorough job explaining the consciousness and subconsciousness and Maslow's hierarchy of needs and all the things that can happen when you want to become a digital nomad. So just real quick, I know I promised you that I would talk to you about some of the things that people say about is now the right time.
Christa Romano: And, uh, hopefully you can make that decision. You can make that conscious empowered decision with all the information, for yourself. But, okay, I'll say that, um, one thing that people say is, uh, okay, it's not the right time for me to become a digital nomad because I'm still in school. Okay, um, okay, so you're still in school, like, what are you afraid of happening if [00:33:00] you start taking action now?
Christa Romano: if I were you, like if I were in my 20s before, before I knew that any of this was possible and before I identified as a motivated person, uh, what I really cared about a lot was partying. Like I love having fun. I love having, I've always loved having fun. So when I was in college, um, um, I would have thought, Oh yeah, but if I add on this extra workload, I'll have less time to party.
Christa Romano: So in that case, that tells you that actually what your priority is not is self actualizing and it's actually just having fun. And that's fine. Like if it's just like, be real with yourself, like if what you would rather do, then change your life is just have fun in your current life. Amazing. Good for you.
Christa Romano: That's great clarity. And, um, I wish for everybody to have that kind of clarity. But for me, like when I was younger, uh, when I, when I was in college and when I was partying a lot, I didn't [00:34:00] know that this option was available to me. And so therefore I thought my only option was to make the best out of my current situation.
Christa Romano: which meant partying and having fun. Um, but do you know what? Once I got a internship at a travel magazine, that was actually when I became a highly motivated person and I added on an internship and an extra class, uh, because also, I don't know if you guys know my story, but I had to drop out of school for a semester because of a big injury that I had, um, and I really wanted to graduate on time, so my senior year of college, I took six classes my freshman and sophomore year and I had an internship and I wrote for the student newspaper.
Christa Romano: and I still had time to have fun and party because I also cared about that, right? So, uh, just saying like, you know, when you say like now isn't the right time, I just have to believe that it's either that you're [00:35:00] triggered in one of your fundamental needs, which just happens, it happens.
Christa Romano: It's a normal human thing. Or you are just simply not prioritizing making this lifestyle a reality. So now we're back to the beginning of this conversation. Well, why the hell are you listening to this podcast, my friend? Like, what are you doing? No, you know that you want this lifestyle. Like, there's no way you would be listening to all these episodes.
Christa Romano: There's no way that you would have gotten that far. This far in this episode, if you are listening to these words, I'm calling you out. It is the right time for you. You're just either not prioritizing it or you are triggered. So another, another way that you might, feel like, oh, uh, it's not the right time for me, is maybe you're taking care of somebody else.
Christa Romano: Okay. This one, to be fair, is like. Um, is dicey because, uh, you know, the levels of taking care of someone can, can vary drastically from literally [00:36:00] being someone like at someone's beck and call because the person is just like, uh, like barely hanging on to life and you're just spending these last precious moments with this person before they pass.
Christa Romano: So if that's a situation, okay, I would say like. No, it's probably not the right time. Um, but if you're taking care of someone and it's like you have a little bit of extra time, what you're telling me that you're doing, like if the way that you're taking care of someone else is you're like, you know, financially supporting them or I don't even know if you have any extra time to me, what this says is that you're actually pleasing other people above your own and that there's a boundaries issue.
Christa Romano: So in this situation, why are you letting other people's dreams be more important than yours? Why are you letting other people dictate your life? Like, [00:37:00] if you really actually wanted this lifestyle, which I know that you do, because again, you're listening to this podcast. I feel like if you really wanted it, then you would just figure out a way because you would prioritize it so much.
Christa Romano: And we all have the same number of hours in a day. Like I saw somewhere this quote, it's like, um, we all have the same hours in a day as Beyonce. And like, what's her excuse? she doesn't make excuses. Something that one of my mentors always said is you can either have results or reasons.
Christa Romano: Basically, you can make excuses or you can actually change your life and it's one or the other. But yeah, if you have a reason for not getting started, okay, fine. Just know that you're not going to have results. You're not going to have results until you stop having reasons to not pursue them. So you just got to make sure that you have a strong enough reason to want to have this lifestyle that you remember that you are worthy of having the life that you [00:38:00] desire, and that Your cup needs to be filled in order for you to be able to give back to the people around you.
Christa Romano: If you've got this far and you feel like you're just being totally called out right now, I really, really encourage you to listen to this recent podcast that I published called spiritual beliefs that led me to my dream life as a digital nomad. It's episode 48 and I really encourage you to give that a listen because yeah, um, honestly, all of this has to do with just you, taking ownership of your life and realizing that you are number one in your universe. Like, you are the main character.
Christa Romano: And for whatever reason, if it's not the right time, all that means is you're prolonging your own dreams. You're just putting things off. And what I need to remind you of, unfortunately, This is something that I feel very aware of every day, but it's actually like this quote, I don't know, maybe it's morbid, whatever, but [00:39:00] this awareness that I have is what ultimately has allowed me to be a highly motivated person and to accomplish my dream life.
Christa Romano: So what this is, this morbid thought is that life is short and literally tomorrow is not guaranteed. It is never guaranteed. Uh, even the next five minutes, is never guaranteed. I think I spoke about this in another recent episode, but um, Anyways, 2016, I was in Ecuador in this cute little surfing village.
Christa Romano: And, uh, there was an earthquake, a huge earthquake, like I'm talking about. 8. 1 magnitude earthquake right next to the beach where there was a tsunami warning immediately after. And first of all, this earthquake was absolutely terrifying to experience. If you can even imagine, I'm so grateful that I was on the beach because nothing could have fallen on me and there was nowhere for me to fall to hurt myself other than the sand.
Christa Romano: Um, so I just was sitting on the sand, like feeling the whole earth, like rock [00:40:00] back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, like in these huge swings. And then finally, after about a minute, everything kind of stabilized, but you know, the lights are still swinging from the restaurant behind me and things are broken and people are like crying and, you know, just things.
Christa Romano: It's like there's chaos all of a sudden and two minutes ago, like literally two minutes before that, we were having a mimosa on the beach, like mojitos and cocoa, whatever, pina coladas and playing cards on a cute little table. And people were listening to, um, Nora Jones and the restaurant behind us. And like, everything was so calm and so chill.
Christa Romano: And then all of a sudden earth is like, nope, we're just going to shake this shit up and rock to our core. And that's what happened. And that can literally happen as you're listening to this podcast. Wouldn't that be crazy? But, um, anyway, the, the point, well, the rest of this. Point is that we all had to go up onto this mountain and wait out the tsunami warning.
Christa Romano: Thank [00:41:00] God there didn't end up being a tsunami warning, but for a few hours I was up there in my bikini like in the dark being like, oh my god Like what is gonna happen if there is a tsunami? Like what about all my stuff down there and like? What's gonna happen next in that, you know, I didn't ask for this to happen.
Christa Romano: Nobody asked for this to happen. Nobody predicted that this could have happened. It's literally unpredictable and life is unpredictable. what was crazy is there were more aftershocks over the coming days. Like a Six point something aftershock and then a five point something aftershock. And I remember being on the balcony of the upstairs, veranda of the place that I was staying when there was another little earthquake.
Christa Romano: And I was like, Oh my God, like, thank God I wasn't too close to the edge because I could have fallen off. And if you heard me earlier allude to this injury that I had. Um, when I was 20, I, yeah, the story is I drunk dove into a swimming pool and I actually broke my neck in that moment. And uh, yes, it was dramatic and it was traumatic [00:42:00] and it was definitely a near death experience.
Christa Romano: And uh, that also really shook me up because I was like, wow, in this split second decision, I almost took my own life by accident. Yeah, just like, you know, what if I make another dumb decision someday or what if a car like comes barreling down the road a little bit too fast or what if you get bit by the wrong mosquito or you slip on ice and land the wrong way or like there's just so, so, so many things that can happen where life is not guaranteed ever.
Christa Romano: ever, ever, ever. And when you say that something isn't the right time, what you're doing is allowing all of these unfortunate possibilities to have space in your life. Like you're allowing space for those things over your own dreams. So, um, I feel like whenever I want something, I just [00:43:00] relentlessly go after it because I just want to make sure that I, my life ends without me having any regrets.
Christa Romano: Like, I don't ever want to think at the end of my life, like, wow, I wish I had tried, or I wish I had done that. Like, I can't think of anything worse. And I actually have this right in front of me right now. It is the most common things that people say when they're dying. What are their biggest regrets? And they are number one, I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself and not the life that others expected of me.
Christa Romano: Number two, I wish that I hadn't worked so hard. Number three, I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. Number four, I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. And five, I wish I had let myself be happier. So, what are you going to do with your life, listener? Are you going to take action on your dreams [00:44:00] or are you going to keep allowing yourself to self sabotage and tell yourself that now isn't the right time, that next year or when the kids graduate or once I finish school or once I finish this program or once I pay off my debts or once I whatever, insert your blank, like insert whatever it is, once you sell your house, once you make a certain amount of money, once you get a certain promotion.
Christa Romano: No, no, no, no, no. Again, why are you listening to this podcast? If that's how you feel, like if that's how you feel, stop listening to this podcast and just go enjoy your fricking life exactly as it is. Have gratitude, choose joy. Choose joy. Either choose joy right now, in the present moment, or do something about it.
Christa Romano: Stop telling yourself that it's not the right time. Stop telling yourself that, you know, it might not be for you, or that someone else has a bigger priority than you. No. You are the [00:45:00] priority. You are the main character. Never forget it. Mic drop. Boom. That's me coming down from my soapbox. And, uh, look, if you are still here listening to this episode, I want to remind you that you can always enroll in the DNLA, in the Digital Nomad Life Academy, and it literally gives you everything that you need.
Christa Romano: And so if you're like, okay, Krista, but literally, like, I'm so busy right now. And even though I would love to pursue my dreams, I just have like I only have like three hours a week. Great. Why don't you dedicate one of those hours to working towards your dreams? What if one hour a week you just showed up to a live call in the DNLA and you at least started exploring and meeting other people who could positively influence you and who could support you and who could hold space for the situation that you're currently in because they were all there too.
Christa Romano: Cause by the way, the DNLA is a year long membership where there's a live call. every freaking [00:46:00] week, multiple times a week. There's like two to three live calls every single week. And it's optimized for so many different time zones. So even if you just came to a call every other week, and that's all you did, you just used 26 weeks, 26 hours of the whole year you.
Christa Romano: to just come to the live calls and be in the energy of other people. You still get lifetime access to all of the coursework that can teach you what you need. And also you can always renew for a very, very, very small fee. So basically I've set up the DNA for people like you who tell me that they don't have enough time because the program is actually self paced.
Christa Romano: You can just watch or like there's a hundred and videos in there, which is actually like an insane amount of information. You don't even need to watch all of that. I recommend you watch the first like third. So let's say that there's like 40 short videos that I want you to watch, uh, in order for you to know what it is that you're [00:47:00] doing.
Christa Romano: So with 40 short videos, they're all like between 10 and 20 minutes. Like what if you just watched one of those a week? You One per week. And then you also came to a call per week or a call every other week. That's like five hours a month that you're dedicating that would move you so much closer to your dream life, like so much closer.
Christa Romano: And can you spare five hours a month? If you can't, I feel like you got a bigger issue and it's a boundaries problem. Um, and you should probably take care of that. But, uh, yeah. If you are interested in joining the DNLA, I would love to just hook you up with a great discount to make it feel like a full fuck yes for you.
Christa Romano: And, um, if you're here, I feel like This episode, I made it for you, right? Like, I don't know who I'm speaking to when I record these things, but I just really trust in energy and the universal algorithm that people hear the [00:48:00] things that they need to hear when they need to hear it. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Christa Romano: So, slide into my DMs on Instagram and use the keyword TIME PODCAST, T I M E, no S, TIME PODCAST. When you say that keyword in my DMs on Instagram, you'll get an automated message from me that says, Hey, thanks for listening to the podcast. Like, tell me about yourself and I'm going to ask you some questions about who you are and where you're from.
Christa Romano: What your deal is and um, I want you to tell me about like what your fears are regarding your time and your bandwidth and I'll answer and if and you know, like I said, sometimes there are valid excuses like some are yeah, excuses reasons to not do it that do have to do with time. So I'm here to hear you out.
Christa Romano: And I. Don't want to be pushy like ever. Gross. But, also I'm here to liberate people and I'm here to change people's lives and I am not here to listen to people give me money. [00:49:00] poor excuses that are actually just self sabotage. So I'm, I'm going to call you out in your shit if I hear some shit and I'm going to tell it to you straight.
Christa Romano: Um, and I'm going to be nice about it, right? Don't worry. You don't have to be scared. But, um, I am just going to give you my like actual honest opinion. And if I think that the DNLA is right for you, then great. I'll say Slip you a discount. And if I'm like, you know what? Now's not the right time. Why don't you wait until you know the next cohort of VIP people that I have in a few months from now or whatever, I'll just like give you the whole timeline for me.
Christa Romano: It's no rush whenever you join because the program, you can enroll literally any time of the year. Um, so yeah, but If you wait, that's when you're self sabotaging, when you say, I'll just wait, I'll just wait, I'll just wait. Because remember, no, like you never know what can happen tomorrow You're listening to this because you want a bigger life. You're listening to this because you don't want to have regrets at the end of your life. So you [00:50:00] have to do something about it. So, uh, yeah, I would say either go slide into my DMs right now at @christabellatravels on Instagram with the keyword TIME PODCAST or keep listening and I direct you to, uh, episode 48, Spiritual Beliefs that led me to living my dream life as a digital nomad.
Christa Romano: Okay. Thank you so much for listening. It was such a pleasure to have you here and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye.