Episode 158 Empowering Growth: My Transformative Journey as a Student Captured in an ePortfolio Part 2

Welcome to Digication Scholars Conversations. I'm your host, Kelly Driscoll. In this episode, you'll hear Part Two of my conversation with Brittany Linus, an undergraduate student pursuing a dual degree in African and African-American Studies and Digital Humanities at Stanford University. More links and information about today's conversation can be found on Digication's Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Full episodes of Digication Scholars Conversations can be found on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.

I wanted to ask you a little bit. So as you were talking, you were kind of referring to the kind of characters that are developed that really become extensions of, of who we are when we're interacting with the video games. And I think you described this as kind of modding. And I was curious if you could explain a little bit about what that means to you and how this connects to.

Kind of some of the concepts that you were exploring through the Visible Bodies project, because I do see that there's this very tight correlation there. And if you could kind of expand on that, I would love, I would love to hear it. So this is, this is beautiful. Um, so modding is short for video game modifications.

And when you're talking about computer games, and specifically the ones that, um, you play on your personal computers, Modding is a personally decided, communally negotiated phenomenon. It's personally decided because you have to make a decision. You decided that the way this interface looks right now, the experience that I am happy with it is not the most optimal. So I am going to change it. That's the decision that you make.

The second one in terms of communal negotiation is the way, the style, the sensibility that you go about making those changes.

For me, I am using The Sims as a case study. So the Life Simulator, one where you can build an avatar and, and dictate what they do on a day to day basis, right? For me, that is my case study because I've been playing The Sims for years and The Sims was published back in 2000, right? It's like 23, 24 years old now. So there are so many people around the world who engage in modding to turn this platform into their own universe. And that was the beauty of it, of it being personally decided.

This is, it's a single player experience. So the only thing that is being affected is your world and you dictate what's going on in your world. You're the architect, you're the sculptor. And so with the video game modifications that are occurring and what I do through my scholarship is I want to acknowledge and essentially write a thank you letter, a dedication to the fact that the phenomenon modding is communally negotiated. There are people out there.

Who, when they look at a website or when they look at a video game, say The Sims, can readily acknowledge its limitations. And one of the limitations of The Sims was that it lacked a proper representation of Black aesthetics on the platform. I mean, it took us so long to get skin tones, an expansive palette of skin tones on the interface. And let's not even talking about an extensive palette of skin tones, but skin tones that render beautifully just given the technologies.

Limitations and platforms. That is a demonstration of an understanding of how blackness and virtual spaces, how they can exist. However, the way that it has been iterating for the last few years was not optimal. The gaming experience is supposed to be a pleasurable one. You're supposed to feel good when you play a video game. Well, for black, Digital users. For black simmers like myself, that wasn't the experience that we were having.

So instead of saying we are going to just not play this game, we made a decision. We decided that we're going to modify this game and we're going to modify it with the tools at our disposal. So there are some of us who have gone the same way that I went to go and learn HTML and CSS to build my thesis. Exhibition. That's the same thing that so many black video game players do in order to cultivate this pleasurable gaming experiences with the black aesthetics that they see on a day to day basis.

They replicate it. They make it better. And the thing is they share it. And so what is available is this entire free market of modifications that you, right? As the, as the player, as the architect, as the sculptor, have an opportunity to choose from, to build your world, to build the avatars, to dictate what they do. And thus, the experience right of a video game that was initially disappointing becomes one of rejuvenation of rest, of empowerment, of beauty, of appreciation.

A little bit of indulgence. It is beautiful. It's great.

It is something that, I mean, it's a process of making Blackness in virtual spaces visible. And that is the connection between my thesis, Video Game Modifications, and the Visible Bodies Project. Black female authors exist. It's just that the spaces in which they are readily recognized and appreciated, it's few and far between. And so how can I consolidate these liminal spaces into one place? And not necessarily consolidate, it's one of presentation.

A firm declaration that these beautiful people exist and they're doing amazing. So my job, really, And that's the, that's the crux of black studies, right? It's literally magnification of voices that just tend to be sidelined, marginalized, put on the back burner, but they are still doing the work just because they don't have a patent. Just because they haven't been published by this esteemed or prestigious university does not minimize the impact that they're doing.

But rather, me as someone who is a Black digital user, someone who is a student and has never interacted with works like these. I see their work. It speaks to me. I am in those liminal spaces. I am a participant, a community member, and they are the stewards. It is my job, right, as their students, as their pupils, to ascertain that I am not only learning from them, but I am extending to them the appreciation that they so deserve. Because it is, it is hard work. It is difficult work.

It is a decision that you have to make a fight that you are deciding to do, right? A grapple with the dominant narrative and expectations. And yet you still do it because you know that not only will this make you feel good, but it will make the people who follow in line have a better. better experience. So me as a Sim Player, when I play The Sims now, I'm like, shoot, I don't even think about how the skin tones can be just a little bit ashy or there's not a lot of hairstyles available.

I'm not even thinking about that. I'm like, you know what? I can go and get some Kiko Vanity or I can go to Xmiramira on The Noir Network and they have something there for me that will make the game fun. And so I am not missing out. I probably have one of the greatest experiences with the interface. It's the same way with Digication. So a lot of people, when they see like that, my advisors are on there, when they see Joel is on there, they're not missing out.

All of the information is right there. And you too can have a pleasurable experience. We're just making it accessible to you. Now we're making it visible. And that's why, I mean, it's just been at the heart of what we do to give.

Students ability to really become publishers so that they can celebrate who they are alongside those that have influenced them and that they have learned from and have this kind of continuous loop And, you know, I do think it becomes a tool for empowerment to be able to share your story and the stories of others that have influenced you.

And I recall as part of the visual bodies project, there's an area where you were able to share some interview experiences that you had. So could you describe a little bit about what that experience was like and what it felt like to be able to kind of. Interns share their stories as well. Oh, yes, it was. You know, the class, I think what the greatest takeaway from that class was the fact that the guest speakers, the authors, the writers that we invited, they were given the space as experts.

to really share, not only their professional experience in the publishing space, in the writing spaces, but also as teachers, as stewards, as students, people who are observing the world the same way that I do. And there are these moments, and conversation Um, where we all, all of us in the room, it was, it was kind of like, she would give an example. I would say like, Joel would give an example of a phenomenon that we're seeing and everyone in the room just looks at each other.

We're like, Not a word said, not a word said. We're all just Yeah. That's right. And the beauty of transcription is you have to capture those moments too. It's not only the moments that are spoken, it's the, it's the moments that are unspoken. And with that, There's also these transitions in conversation that sometimes they're seamless and sometimes they're not sometimes it feeds into other conversations previous conversations. Yeah, other authors.

And so you can see this through line also that these moments, these unspoken moments. These callbacks to other conversations that we've had, and then sort of like, it's like us in the past throwing out a bone for us in the future to catch. All of these beautiful strings intertwining to cultivate and for us to then document, um, The knowledge, the experiences, the observations that we are making. And the thing about it is that it's so raw.

Like, I remember when Joel came to us and was just like, do you, would you want to like to work on a transcription project? And we were like, transcription, what are we transcribing? Those conversations. And so I'm there and I'm like, whoa. You know, and, and Joel made a point. Joel said. No sanitization. We want, I want it raw, uncut, everything there, and you can refer back to it. Uh, I want you in the best way possible to capture the exclamation point.

I want you to capture, you know, the faces that are being made, if you can, and put that on the document. And so here I am, working through this, this like hour long video. I'm transcribing everything.

And it just made me really think on some like meta level, just made me think about, wow, this particular experience and how I am not trans, I'm not only translating the knowledge, but I'm also translating the experience, the glances that were made around the room, the sudden, exclamation points, hey, like someone's dog barked. You have to clue that in there. Like, you have all of these beautiful, these beautiful moments that make us human.

And I think that is the part, that unpolished part, a lot of us don't necessarily see. We see the result. We don't really see the process. Um, and we don't really see those. It was just those moments. I mean, it's the moments that we don't expect that's just beyond us that where communication is just beyond words. And it's so beautiful to just capture that and extend it to other people to see. And so I was honestly, I was just like, Oh, but this is a lot of text.

This is a lot of text, you know, to sit here and expect someone to just like read through it. I'm not sure if this is like, It's something that I want people to read, but that was also a challenge, right? Like I had to decide if I was going to just make that available or apparent and what type of workarounds were there. So instead of posting the whole chunk, I just chose a section and I put it there and I added a little disclaimer. So this is what this particular page contains.

So if you want to, and you have an interest, I'm looking at transcription and what that entails, and so you have another frame of reference. You can feel free to use it. As a designer. Of course, I am here to guide user experiences, but I don't dictate that, right? You are still your own person, your own user. What speaks to you is going to speak to you.

My job is just to make it as accessible, as open, as inviting, as warm as it possibly can, so you can get and maximize on the impact that that particular section, that transcription has on you. Oh, beautifully said. And so, Brittany, I have here, um, your project pulled, pulled up here.

And I wanted to talk a little bit about the beautiful kind of who I am page.

I don't know if you remember the details of that so well, but, you know, very often when we come to some of the, um, Project portfolios or more traditional kind of maybe career oriented portfolios and they have a who I am very often, you know, there might be a photo of the individual and a text bio And you made a really deliberate decision to represent yourself differently there and I would love for you if you could describe a little bit about your thinking there, maybe why you

went a different direction and some of the kind of media choices that you made to present right there, cause that is this kind of entryway into this beautiful project that you created and led me to that initial first gasp when I opened it. And I would love to hear about your process there. Cause it was, it was unexpected and so beautiful. Thank you so much.

It was honestly, that page was the last page that I worked on because I think it was I was in that space where by the time I was working on the portfolio, I had all of my technical artifacts, right? At that point, it was just arrangement, stylization, maybe a few changes here and there. But with the who I am, that was not You know, there was no syllabus or, or like categorization table of contents that I could use. That was something that I had to design myself.

And I was like, you know, and I remember like, um, Digication has a feature where you can look at other portfolios and see what other people have done and even kind of. Export their page onto your own. And I was looking for inspiration at the time. There are a few, there are programs here. There's the, um, program in writing and rhetoric who utilized Digication as a Portfolio Capstone. So that's where the archive that I was kind of perusing. And I was like, what did they put in there?

And they utilize the webpage. As a, just literally, I mean, almost like a, like a resume with a lot more personality. I had a zinger, I had a picture, highly personalized, highly detailed. And I wanted to make mine a little bit different. And I was just like, how can I do that? Could I mock up an app? That was like, that was the challenge. At the time that I was working with Digication, I was also introduced to this platform called Figma, which is where I do a lot of my graphic designing.

Yes. And my prototyping, user experience prototyping. And so my very first project on Figma was how could I prototype an app that explained and showcased who I was in the most engaging way possible. So I was like, well, you know, a lot of the designers I see, They have a logo. A lot of the designers that I see on their platforms give context as to who they are, um, and what their interests are. And they also kind of showcase that they're more than just a scholar.

They're more than just an artist. They are a community member. They are, say, an anime lover. All of these quirks, I wanted to just Put on there initially and I wanted to really hone in on the fact that you know what by and large I'm a technologist I I want people to see that I love I cannot imagine living in a world without a smartphone I just it's like it's so useful. You have a supercomputer in your hand Probably at all times that still astounds me.

And so it's that you the ubiquitousness of Technology that I really wanted to convey, but you've never seen it on a, like a meta level. Like this is, I'm on a computer right now on this website and someone's showing me an app that's on a phone on this very same website, on this very same, Website. And so that was my rationale.

I was really interested in how I could utilize as much visual aids to showcase who I was, exercise that technical skill through utilizing a platform that I wasn't familiar with at the time. And by and large, start thinking about what my own design process is. What I think deserves to go into a who I am section of my bio. That is a totally, I mean, it really just. Would I change? I would do some things differently now, like now that I've had a lot more experience. Of course.

I mean, it's three years later, right? Yes. Maybe, like, maybe the gray was a little There's, there are other pop, there are other colors that and textures that could probably work, but the idea, the intuition has stayed the same, right? Just this reliance on on technology and the visual aids. It's still there. I still use it. Even in my thesis, I'm still using it. So, it has been quite the journey. I love where I started, and I love what I came up with in the end.

Because it also forces you to sit down and think. Because you're like, wait, but where is the bio. I only see like a, like, first of all, like what is that? I only see like a little app on a phone. I want to know more about who is this person. So it forces you to sit with it and that's when you start to think about it. Yeah, I love that. It's absolutely an invitation. It's an invitation to explore. For sure.

Yeah. You, it, and it was a, it's not a traditional approach and it's, I think you mentioned a word earlier, something like a magnitu.. magnitu.... Yeah. It's, it's very in your face, full screens, dry. Welcome. And welcome. Here's the invitation to get to know me. And explore, you know, what, what I'm fascinated in and learning about.

And right from there, you know, as you browse through some of the other pages, um, the next that you have right next to who I am is exploring the African literary world. Yes. And you have this beautiful introduction to what, storytelling means to you and why it's so important. Do you recall some of the kind of points that you made in that page? It's so, I mean, it has been, it's been a few years, honestly.

Um, but I do believe like one of the biggest Focuses that I honed in on is, it's feeling, it's experience, it's that accompaniment and how storytelling has always been, right, it's always been a tool of translation, communication, and it is so useful, it is so useful, especially in the context of history. And if you're indulging in or in the process of ethnic studies. It becomes one of the most important tools of record, tools of scholarship, tools of pedagogy.

Um, and that's why I started specifically with storytelling and really Joel started the course with that question too. And so it's one that is thought provoking. It really has you to think what, what does it mean to Tell a story. And how does that differ from storytelling? It just, those are the big idea questions that I walked away from, from the very first class, um, when it came to Visible Bodies.

And I wanted that to be the first thing outside from, besides for myself, um, and who I am, that I wanted the users to experience. It is storytelling. But what does that mean in the African literary world? How does that translate? What are the politics when it comes to that? And how do they intersect? Where do they parallel? And how can that focus and that, that definition, this term, this experience? How can it connect to other modalities, right?

Indigenous American Studies, Asian American Studies, all of these different experiences that are beyond borders, and in fact, bridging borders. Um, how can we facilitate that connection. Well, it first starts with this inter really interrogating this idea of storytelling. Because there's a big, there's a very, very big difference in the literary world, right? Because when you tell a story, I had, there was, I just had an amazing conversation with one of my, one of my advisors.

She says, when you're telling a story, there's an assumption, um, that is already made, right? Say you're telling a story to your mom. There are certain details you can omit because she knows you there are that's right Yeah, you can you and you know, and you know her so you can sanitize something, you know, she did something, you know You weren't supposed to be just...

It's gonna look differently when you tell it to your friends Versus Storytelling, you're kind of, and you're literally inventing a world. You have to give context. You have to build it up. Something must be at stake. It has to have a beginning, middle, and end. Maybe a little bit of a rise in action. Something that is going to guide and push the reader, the viewer, the listener, to continue on. To listen.

And that is what a lot of these books, with these authors, with the publishing houses, and the criteria, that's what they're pushing for. That's what they're advocating for. And so in spaces where the literary world has not received a lot of appreciation, many aside from a few books here and there, it becomes even more important as a form of cultural rhetoric, to establish storytelling as a tool of not only Translation, Communication, but then also Survival.

Um, and so that is really, that's, it was almost like a little bit of a disclaimer. I'm like, so what are you thinking? Literary world, what does that mean? What, how does that, what does that have to do with Africa and then storytelling? Here is what I'm talking about. And with this disclaimer, you then have a better context. Um, or understanding in your mind of how the rest of the portfolio is going to go and in what world, what shape is this particular project unfolding in?

Nice. And as you were speaking, I was just kind of having some parallel thoughts to what you were describing in your interaction with The Sims earlier. And how you're kind of building your own, you're the architect of your own world and you're kind of constructing your own narrative in that environment and making choices and what other characters you're interacting with, what your character looks like, what space you're existing in. I know there's a lot of design elements that go into that.

And kind of the power to be able to create these kind of parallel, almost these kind of parallel existences and parallel lives and community and connections alongside what we have outside of our virtual worlds, right? So, um, I love that.

And I know we're getting near the end of our Time together today, Brittany, and I, I just really wanted to extend again a huge thank you for joining me today and sharing your story and your experience with Digication and I, I hope we can continue to stay in touch. I'm really excited. I'm so excited about your thesis and I'm so happy that we've been able to connect and that Digication has been able to be this kind of springboard for you into pursuing all of these other amazing things.

I'm so excited to see where you continue to grow and go in the world. So thank you again, Brittany. Of course. Thank you so much for providing this space, this platform. I mean, you even, you even called it like a conversation. I was just like, yes. Like, I'm like, oh my God, I'm dying to talk about it. You know, it's, it's, it's.

From a digital humanities standpoint, it's always so lovely to see people kind of take this, um, serious approach to, to web development and presentation and the utility of portfolio thinking, because really it's a space of just self reflection, like me just spending hours just like, okay, so what, you know, Maybe this layout, this section should go under this section, and maybe I should maybe turn and make another page.

It's always a time for reflection, and that is the, probably the greatest gift that Digication gave to me as a student, which was just, I got to think about myself and my experience and how I'm going to translate that.

It was all about, Me, it was all about me and I had help with that from the way that the interface was designed to the example templates that are available to, I mean, the contact me and I had like experts in the classroom, in the introductory seminars program who could also walk me through the process. If I had an idea, I didn't know how it worked. I could just go to them. So it was a beautifully curated.

experience as a student and it made me less hesitant about building and cultivating a portfolio for myself. So now when I go and I talk, now I'm transitioning, I'm matriculating, you know, out of Stanford. I'm starting that process. You have to start applying to jobs, start networking and meeting people. And so it even becomes more important for you to provide them with something that they can walk away with.

And so one day when they, you know, they're just thinking about you, they just pull you up and boom. Your website says everything that a 30 second pitch cannot. And so it's, it just, and that literally I'm, I'm, I'm not even gonna lie to you. It, I've had so many different fellowships, internships, just because. I had this project under my belt. So as much as you're extending to me a thanks, I think it's always important as a student, I feel like that is my responsibility.

The very least I can do is to make sure that you are receiving your thanks and the gratitude, because. What you all created, that's a life changing, and I'm an example of that. That's a life changing interface. That's a life changing project. Oh, Brittany, you're gonna make me cry. Well, thank you so much. My heart is so full right now and, uh, I appreciate you very much and wish you all the best. Thank you. I appreciate you too. Take good care.

Coming up next, we'll be chatting with Caitlin Koskin, a recent graduate of Texas Christian University. Here's a quick preview. So from a young age, I was able to travel around to so many countries, like probably 13 by the time I was in high school. And I think that's something I'll forever be grateful for, from such a young age, to be exposed to so many different cultures and people, work ethic. And at the time, I certainly didn't understand it, I would say, up to a certain extent.

And then there was a moment where it shifted and I began to become a lot more interested in the actual business side of it, where I would actually sit in on meetings, um, and participate to an extent that certainly shaped my interest in fashion moving forward.