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Dice Will Roll

The Dice Will Roll Crewwww.dicewillroll.com
Welcome to Dice Will Roll, the Queerest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions, like... Is it cannibalism to eat a polymorphed chicken? Or is it morally okay to kiss a Goblin? What's the worst thing that could happen if we split the party? We're a group of four friends who team up every week to play Pathfinder and be hopelessly queer the whole way through! From getting 4 Nat 1's in a row, to standing up to the darkest forces of the multiverse- Dice Will Roll is here to Keep it Rollin'! Email: dicewillroll@gmail.com Get extra loot on our Patreon!
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Episodes

Abomination Vaults Ep. 58: Roses & Ravagers

A hint of romance betwixt NPCs?! Don't mind if I do... The tangled wilds of the Hunting Ground are too much! Let's gossip for a moment, shan't we? A little birdy told me someone has feelings for someone else. Now, are we going to be respectful of their privacy? Yes! But we're also getting involved, because it's funny. And THEN, we're going back into the tangled wilds of the Hunting Grounds. Because that's what true heroes do. Surfer slang gets spoken. Dresses get discussed. Giants get spotted. A...

Jul 01, 20251 hr 50 minSeason 4Ep. 58

Abomination Vaults Ep. 57: Goliaths & Gnomes

The hunting lodge awaits... as do the many sinister secrets of the Darklands! Dug too deep, and now we're in a cruddy cavern full of cruddy mushrooms and cruddy monsters. The Fogfen Few are seeking the caligni who have kidnapped the beloved Zaccheus Wimifor Slumberstone V, and they're pretty sure they know where to find him! But what's with all the spooky stuff following them around? Are they ever truly safe here in the Vaults? Only time can tell... and at the end of the day, they'll either have...

Jun 24, 20251 hr 57 minSeason 4Ep. 57

Abomination Vaults Ep. 56: Depths & Daemons

Welcome to the Hunting Grounds, a level so large... it could be its own dungeon! The Fogfen Few have made an allegiance with the elves of Yldaris, but their journey to the bottom of the vault is far from over. On the doorstep of the underground city is the Hunting Grounds, a sprawling biome of ancient buildings, shimmering lakes, fungal forests and monsters, monsters, monsters! The fulcrum lenses that may end the reign of the Ghost Queen must be around here somewhere... but where? Brave the dark...

Jun 17, 20251 hr 49 minSeason 4Ep. 56

Abomination Vaults Ep. 55: Elves & Enigmas

The city of Yldaris awaits, brave adventurers. Dare you open the gate? The Fogfen Few are recovering from another traumatic downtime session, and need to escape it all by going back into the monster-infested dungeon. Surely it'll be calmer there! Psychic horrors, winding tunnels and cities of elves are nothing compared to the terror Derry drags up in our home town. And this city's queen awaits you, heroes-- you don't want to keep the lady waiting, do you? Minds get warped. Wine gets drank. Visio...

Jun 12, 20252 hr 31 minSeason 4Ep. 55

Abomination Vaults Ep. 54: Shivers & Shopkeeps

A bumper-sized episode for our time off in Otari! Historically, nothing bad has ever happened in town... Air! Fresh air! The Fogfen Few are finally out of the vaults after several days being trapped down there, and they are owed one hell of a break. Wash your hair, eat some food, check in with friends... it's so much better out here. Let's chase up on some loose ends and unfinished business before we go back in, okay? I'm sure nothing terrible and twisted will happen, Otari's always too nice for...

Jun 05, 20252 hr 58 minSeason 4Ep. 54

Abomination Vaults Ep. 53: Webs & Wyverns

The forest of fungus awaits you... if you dare travel its paths! Give it up for day 4 of being trapped in the dungeon! Day 4, everyone! The Fogfen Few are, frankly, over this. Murderous ghosts, gug cult leaders, and now drow?! We don't own the rights to those, even! Our heroes need to tough it out and make their way through a jungle of mushrooms if they want to make it out alive. And who knows what monsters lie within! Grab your swords, adventurers... it's about to get fungal. Explanations get g...

May 21, 20251 hr 57 min

Abomination Vaults Ep. 52: Bosses & Boletes

Napping in the dungeon... what's the worst that could happen? The Fogfen Few are spending another night deep in the Garden level of the Abomination Vaults. With no way back up, we're forced to go deeper, deeper, and deeper still, even when everything's getting too scary. Whispering caves? Giant spiders? Sure. What else could Derry throw at us? It's not like he's actively seeking to cause a TPK... right? Notes get taken. Bombs get thrown. Mushrooms get stepped on. All this and more in this episod...

May 14, 20252 hr 10 minSeason 4Ep. 52

Abomination Vaults Ep. 51: Grottos & Giants

The prophet of the caves beckons! Heed his call! Day 2 of being trapped underground, and the Fogfen Few are no closer to getting to the surface than they were before. Bog mummy gnomes, caligni cultists... how on Golarion are they ever going to get out of here? As they make their way through the winding corridors of the Vaults, they may just find an extraordinary clue... and learn about some other poor souls trapped here in the dungeon. Stairs get climbed. Fishing rods get cast. Glass gets looked...

Apr 30, 20252 hr 23 min

Abomination Vaults Ep. 50: Chalices & Caligni

Ah... Ah, the light..! Ah..! Trapped in the caverns of Belcorra with no way up and a vile ghost hunting them, the Fogfen Few have certainly had better days when it comes to feeling at ease. Our heroes are desperately searching for a way to the surface, all while being hunted by malignant forces from below. And now, if that wasn't enough, they have *another* cult to deal with? What the hell is an "Urgathul"? Would you just fuck off? Honestly. Doors get opened. Wine gets sipped. Fossilized tunas g...

Apr 22, 20251 hr 55 minSeason 4Ep. 50

Dice Will Roll 413 Special: Subgrubs & Snazzards

No matter how hard you try, you just can't fight the Homestuck. Join the Dice Will Roll gang on a Karkalicious adventure to the planet Alternia, where the insectoid humanoids called trolls divide their society into a hierarchy of blood, cars have bug legs and people make hexagon pizza specifically to piss off the poor. In a one-shot adventure that requires no knowledge of Homestuck, Dave makes his GMing debut and Derry takes a backseat as Minsie, Tialli and Saruti-- three trolls trying to solve ...

Apr 16, 20252 hr 33 min

Abomination Vaults Ep. 49: Mothers & Mummies

An underground swamp?! Oh, Silk, we're really in it now... After a terrible crash, the Fogfen Few find themselves stranded deep underground in a subterranean bog. And what kind of bog would it be if it weren't full of bog mummies? Gnomes with mummified corpses calling themselves the Children of Belcorra hunt our heroes, looking to punish them for daring to come this deep. And they're far from the only horrors present on this floor! If our brave adventurers aren't careful... they're the next to b...

Apr 09, 20251 hr 55 minSeason 4Ep. 49

Abomination Vaults Ep. 48: Elevators & Explorers

The riddle is solved! Let's descend deep into the caves below... With the devils dispelled, the fleshwarpers finished and the arena outlasted, the Fogfen Few are taking a well earned break. Soon, they're going to plunge into the hellevator, and see what lies beneath on the 8th floor of the Abomination Vaults. Otari is changing, for better and for worse-- what sort of new faces are we going to see come to this sleepy town as we gear up for the final book of our adventure? Wings get flapped. Maps ...

Mar 26, 20252 hr 9 min

Abomination Vaults Ep. 47: Locks & Lawyers

Court is in session! It's the Fogfen Few v. Urevian! Buzzing sounds following our heroes home. Hags preying on the dreams of children. Manipulating the party into arguing over a man's soul. All of these misdemeanours can be traced back to one source: Urevian, master of the Prison Floor. Our heroes have the pendants, the power and the pissed-off attitude they need to take him down. The only question is... will they be able to survive Urevian's mighty attacks? Or are they about to be sentenced to ...

Mar 19, 20251 hr 51 min

Abomination Vaults Ep. 46: Cambions & Coarti

Oh, beautiful fallen angels, please don't kick our asses! The Fogfen Few and their new friend(?) Cynemi have found the source of Urevian's summoning plot: a giant pentagram held over magma, from which armies of devils will spew forth! If our brave heroes don't destroy the summoners, they're certainly dead meat... but the summoners are so, so pretty! It's us or them, as we race towards the end of Book 2... and hope that a certain will'o'wisp leaves us the hell alone in the process! Arrows get sho...

Mar 12, 20251 hr 46 minSeason 4Ep. 46

Abomination Vaults Ep. 45: Wisps & Witches

FLEE, MORTALS! FLEE FROM VEKNIR THE INSTAGATOR! The Fogfen Few have a new ally in the form of Cynemi, a wanted criminal on the run from Absalom. As they close in on the keys to enter the domain of Urevian the contract devil, perils of all kinds are slowly encircling the party. Can they escape the DOOOOOOM brought upon them by Veknir, the dreaded will'o'wisp? Or like, will they just die, or something? Tubes get looked through. Puzzles get ignored. Cubes get thrown. All this and more in this episo...

Mar 05, 20252 hr 24 minSeason 4Ep. 45

Abomination Vaults Ep. 44: Killers & Kobolds

It's not just devils here in the prison... The Fogfen Few are hot on Urevian's heels! Seeking the five pentagram pieces that will blow open the doors and let them kick the contract devil's sorry behind, our heroes are ready to do whatever it takes to win. But are they really the only mortals on this floor? Put on your "nice to inlaws" face, it's time to kick some conversation ass! Curtains get drawn. Rocks get thrown. Manacles get undone. All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the ...

Feb 19, 20251 hr 55 minSeason 4Ep. 44

Abomination Vaults Ep. 43: Haddocks & Halflings

Chill downtime session! I promise nothing BAD is going to happen! The Fogfen Few need a day to recover from the horrors of the Prison-- more specifically, from Belcorra's evil hot graveknight cousin. And aren't they owed a nice, relaxed downtime session? The last few times they stayed in Otari, terrible things happened! But this time, things will be different. Trust! They'll have a nice time fishing together, and nothing BAD will happen. Don't look at the title of the episode! Stop it! Cut that ...

Feb 04, 20251 hr 52 minSeason 4Ep. 43

Abomination Vaults Ep. 42: Tactics & Terrors

Rip and tear! The Fogfen Few are fighting devils tonight! A devil? LYING to the party? This twist had no way to be foreseen and is absolutely unacceptable. The Fogfen Few are determined to waste as little time as possible when it comes to kicking Urevian's ass, and they've been plunged into war in the depths of the Prison Floor. Can an elf, a cambion and an empyrean take what the forces of Hell have to throw at them? Or are these devils going to be roasting some bodies over fire tonight? Metal g...

Jan 28, 20251 hr 43 minSeason 4Ep. 42

Abomination Vaults Ep. 41: Gaols & Ghost Stories

Step into the unknown and shake the devil's hand! That's what Urevian wants from our party today! But can he be trusted? Every little part of his story threatens to be a lie, and the Fogfen Few needs to think long and hard about trusting the devil... especially when a man's soul is at stake! From haunted pub ruins to vile prisoners in the town jail, Alrik, Silk and Fiore have more than their work cut out for them this time around! Shivers get shuvered. Graffiti gets admired. Doors get knocked. A...

Jan 14, 20251 hr 57 min

Abomination Vaults Ep. 40: Hares & Hags

The hood is off. Ms. Motley awaits. From haunted dolls to mysterious sleepwalkers to bruised dates in arms, the scourge of Ms. Motley has been one the party has had to deal with for far too long. But now, it all comes to a head, and our heroes must brave the horrors of Doriana Menhemes' imaginary friend or face the dire consequences. Close your eyes, stand strong, and fight for the weird little outcasts! Ankles get stabbed. Cloaks get given. Papers get translated. All this and more in this episo...

Jan 08, 20251 hr 43 minSeason 4Ep. 40

Abomination Vaults Ep. 39: Doorways & Dollies

A shadow creeps through Otari... will the Fogfen Few catch it before it's too late? Alrik, Silk and Fiore have returned from the laboratories, needing a long rest after dealing with the monstrous scientists that lurked within. But is rest what they'll get? A familiar figure walks down the beach at night, her eyes wide and smile fake. Rain leaves muddied footprints, and if our heroes don't act fast, the worst will come to pass. There's never an easy day off in the sleepy town of Otari, evidently!...

Dec 18, 20242 hr 3 minSeason 4Ep. 39

Abomination Vaults Ep. 38: Schemes & Scientists

It's time to come face to forcipules with the fleshwarping genius of the labs! The Fogfen Few have taken down oozes, dismantled fleshwarps and defeated researchers. Now all that remains of the hierarchy of power in the Laboratory is its villainous ruler... Jafaki, the head scientist of Belcorra! But why are they doing this? What intentions do they have with the surface world? Or is the surface just... a means to an end? Chug some potions and ignore proper lab safety-- this one's going to be down...

Dec 10, 20241 hr 58 minSeason 4Ep. 38

Abomination Vaults Ep. 37: Sales & Skitterskins

Hot on the trail of the mad scientist Jafaki, our heroes keep uncovering stranger and stranger experiments... Flesh, flesh, flesh! The Laboratory level of the Abomination Vaults lives up to its reputation as a place of terrible inhuman science. But the Fogfen Few have yet to uncover the most sickening of experiments that lurk the halls of this underground testing site, and will soon learn the hard way that the cruelty of the seugathi knows no limits! But first... why don't we lighten some of our...

Nov 26, 20241 hr 56 minSeason 4Ep. 37

Abomination Vaults Ep. 36: Deals & Devils

Won't you shake a poor sinner's hand? The mysterious buzzing noise that's been following the Fogfen Few for the last few weeks has revealed itself, and it comes bearing a message! The contract devil Urevian has a bargain he'd like to offer our heroes... and all it asks for in return divides the party into factions. Will these brave adventurers be able to come to an agreement? Or are they bound to fall right into the hand of the devil (title card droooop!)? Questions get asked. Visions get shared...

Nov 19, 20242 hr 12 minSeason 4Ep. 36

The War of Immortals

The god of war is dead. More are to come. When Our Lord in Iron was ripped asunder and his blood rained down on the people of Golarion, everything changed. What follows is documentation of the death of Gorum, the Godsrain and its effects, the War of Immortals and the gods who died in the immediate aftermath, and the birth of the new gods that emerged from it. Listeners to the story of Golarion, behold! The time of reckoning is upon us! CONTENT WARNINGS: Dismemberment, blood, audible depictions o...

Nov 12, 20241 hr 37 min

Abomination Vaults Ep. 35: Slumber & Suspense

Just a peaceful romp through Otari... right? Times are tough in the dungeon! Fleshwarps, mad science and ominous warnings... why, I think the Fogfen Few have earned a nice, relaxing time in their sleepy little home town! Heed not the worried looks cast your way, the shadowy figure hiding on the edge of the crowd, or even the slowly growing threat of something terrible happening at night. Don't even worry about it a little. And hey, that strange sound that's been following you around? I'm sure it...

Nov 05, 20242 hr 10 minSeason 4Ep. 35

Abomination Vaults Ep. 34: Steam & Seugathi

Somehow, mind-controlling centipede scientists with French accents aren't even the weirdest part of today's episode! Alrik, Silk and Fiore have come face to face with the fearsome fleshwarpers of the laboratory level... and yet, stranger and stranger things await them. Weirder than cyborg morlocks, weirder than flesh behemoths growing new fleshwarps, weirder even than an underground tavern battle of the bands! What on Golarion awaits the Fogfen Few when they step into the steamy corridor to the ...

Oct 28, 20242 hr 13 minSeason 4Ep. 34

Abomination Vaults Ep. 33: Bars & Bands

Fogfen Few versus Shadow Malice... which band will be the last one standing in the Warped Brew Tavern? Of all the things our heroes were expecting to find in the dungeon, this was not one of them. Ancient libraries? Makes sense. A secret laboratory? Yeah, why not. But a dungeon tavern? Full of monsters drinking ale? Jeez, I mean, sure, why not? Alrik, Silk and Fiore will need to team up and play some tunes to show their rivals that the surface doesn't suck at music, or else blood WILL spill. Gra...

Oct 14, 20242 hr 6 minSeason 4Ep. 33

Abomination Vaults Ep. 32: Lutes & Laboratories

The sixth floor awaits, and it's full of weird science and... music? The Fogfen Few plunge deeper than ever as they make their way to the laboratories of the Abomination Vaults, hot on the trail of a mad, centipede scientist who plans on invading the surface. But not everything is as it seems here in this strange, fleshwarping dungeon. There's strange smells, weird shapes shambling in the corners of your eyes, and... what the hell is that drawn on the wall? By the gods of the Inner Sea! Who coul...

Oct 08, 20241 hr 39 minSeason 4Ep. 32

Abomination Vaults Ep. 31: Rubies & Revenents

What's happening to poor Dorianna Menhemes, and who's to blame? The Fogfen Few fight to protect those they care about... but what do they do when the evil isn't just contained in the dungeon? From strange buzzing sounds to haunted dolls to strange rubies, it seems like even Otari is becoming filled with terrible mysteries. And it's not like the dungeon is suddenly a cakewalk either! Join our heroes as they make their way through the final stages of the arena and prepare to make their way into th...

Sep 09, 20242 hr 23 minSeason 4Ep. 31
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