Sail the ashy skies and beyond with a Super King Stateroom on our Premiere Cruise Ship - "The Golden Goose" Watch the brilliant orange sunsets through the clouds of nuclear winter. Feast on the remaining foodstuffs we can scavenge as the world deteriorates around you. Stay above the smells of decomposing civilizations and burning nations on our LAST EVER round the world tour with G&O cruises! Book Now! Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-7-you-can-call-m...
Feb 16, 2019•1 hr 11 min•Season 2Ep. 7
Pisces: This week you will gain the opportunity to learn a new skill - dive in. The moon is at half spread, bringing you bad fortune in games of chance. Don't push your luck, and take this time to give your undies a wash. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-6-like-tears-in-rain/
Feb 02, 2019•1 hr 17 min•Season 2Ep. 6
What makes a move worthy of becoming a signature? DPR canvasses three experts to get to the bottom of this once and for all. Sully Qeem (Social Drinking Influencer), Peerson Scumbidge (Back Alley Knife Handler), and Ms Badger McFace (actual badger), answer these age old questions: What's the perfect style to substance ratio? How much hamstring damage is too much? What time is lunch? Our second hour is the top 100 murder styles as voted by you, live from Kevin's Mum's clam farm. Artwork and Credi...
Jan 19, 2019•1 hr 7 min•Season 2Ep. 5
DPR will be broadcasting an hour of silence this week in memory of a fallen colleague. Jerry Softnoggin, our intrepid reporter from the FaceMeat tribe was our man on the ground for all your favorite jungle stories. Listen to some of his most popular episodes like: Berry in Season, and 10 Ways to Cook a Face, then sit in silence for an hour and wallow in our self pity. This Monday at 8. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-4-jungle-bex-and-the-snatch-mobile...
Jan 06, 2019•1 hr 26 min•Season 2Ep. 4
Soft of step, this cunning beast is perfectly adapted to its jungle habitat. It speeds through the undergrowth, eyes forward, unerringly dashing amongst the great boles of the ancient trees. DPR brings you a close up of this mysterious, rarely seen beast. The elusive jungle donkey. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-3-troubles-with-lycanthropy/
Dec 23, 2018•1 hr 11 min•Season 2Ep. 3
Possible future forecasts indicate meteor showers with a high chance of firestorm. The likelyhood of burnt grasslands and temperate forests means less grazing land for vital food stocks. This weather update was brought to you by Shlock Shlammer's Hay and Feed stockists - we'll get you through droughts, floods, and the apocalypse. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-2-a-leopard-never-changes-its-jorts/...
Dec 08, 2018•1 hr 7 min•Season 2Ep. 2
This prequel of sorts is a romp through the magical world that made the original series so celebrated, but without the favourite characters we all knew and loved. Despite a slimy performance by Jimmy Pepp as the titular villain, the story chugs along like an overloaded, square wheeled mule cart. 3 out of 5 well greased villains. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-1-whats-your-apocalypse-plan/...
Nov 25, 2018•54 min•Season 2Ep. 1
Variety had always been a positive person. She said it herself and she said it quite frequently. Everyone knew that Variety had had her share of opportunities to practice positivity. Her’s was the story skated over in public, but devoured in private and at special occasions. A tale told to children by misguided parents to teach them the dangers of men. In spite of all this Variety was a positive person, and sometimes you’re reminded that there is some good in the world. Credits & Artwork: ht...
Nov 03, 2018•35 min•Season 1Ep. 49
ATTACK ON GREYMEAD! The release of noxious gas from a nefarious canister has turned 3 dock workers, 2 couriers, and a Pomeranian into murderous spiked devils. Investigators discovered the canister near Belfinky dock with a name tag still attached. It read: Property of Bruce T Milkman. When asked if Mr. Milkman had been arrested, Chief Inspector Ronald Binskin said “We asked Bruce, but he said he didn't do it." The investigation is ongoing... Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podc...
Jul 22, 2018•44 min•Season 1Ep. 48
Bart Mulwimple was a simple goat herder. His goat meat was prized throughout Greymead for its flavour and tenderness, but each season he was left with a surplus of hides. Frustrated by the waste he set about finding a new way to use this versatile material. After years of searching for the right purpose he was inspired when the morning sun shone directly through his window into his remaining good eye. Bart Mulwimple is proud to present: Mulwimple's Goat Skin Blinds - better than stabbing yoursel...
Jul 15, 2018•1 hr 8 min•Season 1Ep. 47
When you’re stranded and broke and need to get home, who can you trust? 9/10 Doctors agree it’s the bus you took on your first solo trip, the same bus you trusted when you moved to college and the bus you trusted to bring you back home again every summer. It’s the bus powered by a steaming pack of eighteen dogs.... It’s Greyhound. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-44-orikis-song/...
Jul 07, 2018•57 min•Season 1Ep. 46
Torus: The next few days will be influenced by the proximity of the moons. Things might take a turn for the worse before they get better. Remember to be true to yourself and stand by your friends. Beware moments of greed. Treasure may not be as shiny as you first think. You may feel an unbidden craving for doughnuts. Go for it. What could possibly go wrong? Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-43-brakais-birthday/...
Jun 30, 2018•1 hr 1 min•Season 1Ep. 45
Gwendoline looked intensely at Pietor. They both knew what this meant. Pietor steadied himself, suddenly aware of each second that ticked on the timepiece on Gwendoline’s wrist. Oh Gwendoline’s wrists. He could write odes to her wrists, ballads to her fingers, and limericks to her knuckles. But this sudden flight of longing cost Pietor dearly, as Gwendoline pinned his thumb and won the championship for the third year running. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-42-s...
Jun 24, 2018•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 44
There is a place that you can go, when life is tough and you’re feeling low. A place where troubles disappear, a place for friends; a place for beer. If you’re having a day where you question it all... then come on down to the hidey hole. Thursday is adults only chicken dipper night (now in two flavours!), kids eat free. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-41-helms-hidey-hole/...
Jun 17, 2018•59 min•Season 1Ep. 43
Dinner Plan Review. This exciting new show explores your dinner plans and rates them against your peers, colleagues, friends and family. Hear the Jones family's profound love of ankheg meat as they chomp down on deep fried legs with creme fraiche. Noisily. Next to the microphone. Brutal and sloppy? Yes. Delish? You be the judge. Vote #dprdinnerplanreview for your chance to win a gaping wound. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-40-the-first-rule-of-clown-school...
Jun 10, 2018•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 42
Acclaimed documentarian and activist Borghum Freesnail narrates a tale of survival against the odds. Borghum, 85, slides his way across the continent following in the snail tracks of the near extinct Mighty Eastern greysnails as they migrate north for the spring. Borghum is all charisma in what may be his final project. This is ‘The Slime of the ancient narrator.’ Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-39-daaavid-vs-goliath/...
Jun 03, 2018•42 min•Season 1Ep. 41
Ringer Pullos is a brash and gregarious woman. She sweeps into the room and grasps my hand in a firm and yet welcoming handshake. Her eyes sparkle with intelligence and laughter, as we sit down to chat and I feel as though I am the one being interviewed. We talk about her meteoric rise through the cannery trade, and find out about her newest invention, set to take the can world by storm. The magnetic circular can opening lift device. Game changer. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.co...
May 27, 2018•53 min•Season 1Ep. 40
This week on DPR we interview polar explorer and CS Lewis fanatic Burnish Buckletoon as he prepares for his 14th expedition to the Deep South. We ask all the big questions: how cold it was? How are the Pengloids and Solar Bears? And what about the Christian parallels present throughout the Narnia books? Burnish talks ignorance, racism, and completely ignores most of our questions as he scoffs down a free lunch. Hot stuff. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-37-the-d...
May 20, 2018•52 min•Season 1Ep. 39
A penny saved is a penny earned so the saying goes. But does it hold up in a court of law? This is what we’ll find out this week as we follow the trial of Shirtfront Amblewang who saved the life of local bottle collector and judo instructor Penny Prossel and is holding her in his home claiming her as his slave. Shirtfront says the law is clear and that he wants to put her to work in his newspaper rolling business before the busy season. News at 11. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.c...
May 13, 2018•47 min•Season 1Ep. 38
It’s sweepsteaks time again as we broadcast from the Boldock Beef and Broom Bazaar. Great deals on brisket on brush, sirloin and scoop, or maybe even try your hand at the suede scrub at a masterclass with the Beefstie Boys. Enjoy the Twilight Tripe and Trowel dance headlined this year by superstar Swabbie Filet Gams. Too much meat? DW, they’re doing mushrooms or some shit as well. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-35-letters-from-home/...
May 05, 2018•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 37
This week DPR has a real treat for you. We’re broadcasting from the Greymead Stoat and Soap Symposium bringing you live tastings of some of the finest soups and fruit platters you’ll ever hear. Your host Milchard Oblong describes each spoonful in painstaking detail. We taste Millie Mousette's fabled Onion and Pear Soup, Brucemys Fanglesticks’ conjured Minestrone with Goats Cheese, and contemplate the origins of the meat in Barry D'Udder's Chunky Pea and "Ham" surprise. Additional Artwork & C...
Apr 28, 2018•1 hr 9 min•Season 1Ep. 36
Feedel wasn’t always a beat poet, in fact before he became one he had never before entertained the idea. Feedel was 44 years into a career as a turkey sexer, he was head of the department at the largest Turkey Fromagerie this side of Gwilton. He had a loving husband, three more or less stable children, fourteen grandchildren, a ferret, and a negatively geared investment property. From the outside and by almost every measure, Feedel’s life was good. So what caused him to pause on the job, poult i...
Apr 21, 2018•36 min•Season 1Ep. 35
In breaking news - last night famed artist Pontifrak Goobsack's world renowned Galleria de la Mug burnt to the ground. Beneath this edifice of the snobby art world, we can now reveal the discovery of a hidden basement filled to the brim with caricatures and scrapbooking by Goobsack himself. Will the discovery of this art tarnish Goobsack's legacy? Will this pile of pornographic filth sully his name? We bring you full, unbiased coverage at 8. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaper...
Apr 14, 2018•44 min•Season 1Ep. 34
In the dead of night a can clinks along the cobblestones. Chunky effluent spews into the Mead River, fouling the city's only water supply... What would the founders of Greymead have thought, seeing the waste, filth, and degradation that now calls itself a city? Is this what their hard labour bought? In the midst of the mire there is a family, their dreams of the future not yet broken by the crushing weight of reality. They’ve saved and borrowed to buy a tiny single room, a tarpaulin roofed lean-...
Apr 07, 2018•56 min•Season 1Ep. 33
Torvin Templestow joins DPR this week to talk temple restoration, turnip farming, turning undead and how to run a successful kickstarter. He raised 1000gp in seven days for his temple restoration project. We hear how it all came about and find out how much of that money was donated by his mum. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-31-the-metal-meets-the-meat/...
Mar 31, 2018•1 hr 9 min•Season 1Ep. 32
Recently deceased bin man Bobby Brumpkin had a secret. He'd gone through his entire life with part of himself hidden, never to be revealed to anyone, not even his nearest and dearest. It pushed people away, a string of broken relationships and failed business ventures fell victim to this unknown truth. It was never named, but it could be felt by those close to Bobby. It was as if there was always something on the periphery... Just out of sight... Something dark, and mysterious... But what was Bo...
Mar 24, 2018•1 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 31
Randle Pumpersnitch, used horse salesgnome and philanderer speaks out about his love for scallops, Tabaxian theatre, and what to look for when buying a moderately soiled mule. We also examine the tragic events of the Silvertongue Mine explosion. What happened to Barry the Budgie? Was he caught napping? Or was it an inside job, and is Barry the Budgie really Barry the Butcher? We interview his friend, confidant, and noted nictitater, Blisters Beauregarde - whether she likes it or not. All this an...
Mar 17, 2018•1 hr 1 min•Season 1Ep. 30
Acclaimed mathematician and trombonist Amberlane Dumbelsnitch returns to DPR for the third lecture in his series of twelve. This eighteen hour extravaganza is a meditation on the irrationality of the square root of 2, featuring many untethered Trombone improvisations, and a rather racist diatribe on Carl Frederick Gauss. Don’t miss it! Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-28-hidden-depths/...
Mar 10, 2018•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 29
DPR delves into the unexplored world of septic tank spelunking with Dwarvish daredevil Max Snorkel. Find out about all the best sewers to try for your first spelunking session or, for the more experienced spelunkers, the seven hottest pits of effluence in the Greymeade region. Plus the four best methods for sluicing your wet suit... You won't believe how much number 3 will improve your libido! Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-27-snatchs-midnight-liai...
Mar 03, 2018•1 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 28
‘Squirrelled away’ It may surprise you to learn that the woodland creature was actually named after the popular saying, and not the other way around, as is commonly believed. This misconception has been attributed to Friar Farnables Boyce. We spoke with Farnables’ Mother, who described her son posthumously as “a good boy that had big swing at life, but missed.” Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-26-greymead-need/...
Feb 24, 2018•55 min•Season 1Ep. 27
