Are We Sheltering Toxic Leaders? - podcast episode cover

Are We Sheltering Toxic Leaders?

Dec 04, 202448 minSeason 3Ep. 7
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Episode description

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In this episode, we examine why and how leaders can create a toxic environment, and how and why companies protect those leaders.

Our prescription for this episode is to understand misguided structure and opinions that create and shelter leaders who put their companies at risk, but also how we can fix these conditions and help our leaders become successful.

You can reach out to us to talk more about supporting leaders and managers, just contact us at info@roman3.ca or through our LinkedIn page at https://www.linkedin.com/company/roman3

Don't forget to sign up for our New Quarterly Newsletter that launched this fall!

About Our Hosts!
James is an experienced business coach with a specialization in HR management and talent attraction and retention. 

Coby is a skilled educator and has an extensive background in building workforce and organizational capacity. 

For a little more on our ideas and concepts, check out our Knowledge Suite or our YouTube Channel, Solutions Explained by Roman 3.

Transcript

[ANNOUNCER]

Breaking down everyday workplace  issues and diagnosing the hidden sickness,   not just the obvious symptom.  Our hosts, James and Coby.

[COBY]

Did we lose a patient?

[JAMES]

No, that's just my lunch.

[COBY]

Hey, thanks for joining us. I'm Coby,   he's James. And let's get started with a  question. Are we sheltering toxic leaders?

[JAMES]

I think the simple answer is yes. far  too often we see leaders and managers that either   they have toxic personalities, which is a big  problem, or they create toxic environments,   which is probably far more common than just the  toxic person. But we see them being sheltered,   protected, and mind bogglingly even promote it.  And I don't think that companies set out with any   intent to shelter toxic leaders. I think a lot of  the problem comes down to how we actually measure  

success. Because there's a common saying that what  we measure is what matters. And way too often the   measurements for that companies or that we put  on leaders and managers have little or nothing   to do with how they actually treat, treat people  or whether or not they burn through their team   members or any of the myriad of other negative 

effects that toxic leadership can have. So I   think what I'd like to do in our conversation is  to talk a bit about where toxic leaders come from,   why we end up sheltering them, and then some  examples that we've seen of the negative impacts   that toxic leaders have not only on the people  who they are responsible for because it's huge and   pervasive, but also the negative impact that they  have on the company that they are responsible to.

[COBY]

Yeah, it's a like, like I say, it's  kind of a like interesting question of do,   are we sheltering them? Well, yeah,  we are. But that's not, that's not,   that's not the whole, that's  not the whole answer. Right?

[JAMES]

That's not the  whole picture either. Right?

[COBY]

Yeah, exactly like we are, but like  it's, it's a bit organic in how and why and   what it looks like. And I think one of the  problems with this whole conversation about   toxic leadership and everything like that is it's  so common. These like, like toxic environments,   toxic leaders, toxic, you know, like team  dynamics are so pervasive that it's almost like,   you know. Oh, it's almost like. Yeah, I guess  if I have to step back and look at it, yeah,  

that isn't great. But it's so normal  that it's something that it's really,   it's important to talk about, it's important  to identify and it's important to put a label   to things. So we can step back and  look at them a little bit of clarity.

[JAMES]

It is important to put a label to  things. I do have some issues with the label   because we talk about toxic leadership and it's  not. Or. And I even use the term toxic leaders,   which I don't think is a, necessarily a  fair characterization because rarely is it   malicious. Yeah, I mean, people who are just  blatantly malicious and toxic don't tend to   stick around. Right. We identify those people  who. There are people who are just hateful.  

Sometimes they're protected. More often than not,  we don't want those people around. And the toxic   behaviors or the toxicity comes from not. It's  not who the person is, but it's a effect of the   choices and the actions that they take. And so I,  do want to have. Just make sure that we're talking   about. This is rarely. Are we talking about  people who are actively malicious and hateful.

[COBY]

Yeah. I think it's maybe it's  even fair to kind of say the question   could be better, like explaining  and expanded on by saying, are we   sheltering leaders and managers  that create toxic environment?

[JAMES]

Yeah. It's just not as pithy. And.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

It doesn't fit on the,  on the title card quite as well.

[COBY]

Exactly. Yeah. So we'll stick with the  question for the title card. But that's really   what we're talking about is managers and leaders  that create toxic environments and toxic cultures   within their teams and within their organizations.  So. Yeah. So you said that title. It is. Yeah.   I wouldn't listen to that episode. That  sounds boring. but the idea of we should,   you know. So you want to talk  about where talk leaders come from.

[JAMES]

Yeah.

[COBY]

And then why we're. Then why  we're sheltering them. So I think that,   probably a great first place to see where  they come from is they kind of come from.   There's. There's one thing that I've seen a lot  is this ignorance to the reality of how messy,   leadership is. And the idea that leaders have to  be infallible, that, leaders can't be vulnerable.   Leaders have to be. Have to be infallible. And  there's this expectation and there's cultures   that kind of have this baked into them. 

A lot of traditional mindsets is where a   lot of that comes from, that your leader  has to be. Has. You can't be questioned,   has to be infallible. Can't make decision,  can't make mistakes. Every decision is   final. And that is where that's a. That's a  breeding ground for. For toxic Leadership.

[JAMES]

Yeah. And it, it is a pervasive problem  because I, and I, I get it. Because as someone   in a position of authority, you want others  to look to you as the expert. Right. You want   to have the answers to people's questions. You  want to be seen as the, person in charge. And we   equate that with having all of the answers. We  equate that with never making a mistake or not   being able to show vulnerability. And I mean, we  don't need to get into where all that comes from.  

Whether it's, you know, media that we consume,  television, movies, or you know, just pervasive,   expectations that we've set. And it doesn't really  matter. I think the important thing to identify   is that there is this pervasive perception  that a good leader doesn't make mistakes.   Right. And I can tell you the, some of the  best leaders and managers that I have worked   with have been very flawed and very open about it 

though. Right. And it's the desire to do better   that tends to be the redeeming quality,  the openness to, damn, I, I messed up.   But here's how we're going to work through this  together. Is a really powerful leadership tool.

[COBY]

Oh, it is. And I mean, and it's, and  I think that the need for the expectation of   infallibility, like I say, I think it's a very  traditional, mindset that's kind of been baked   in and ingrained and kind of like you say, kind  of culture and stuff like that too. But there is   an expectation of now that I'm the boss, now  that I'm the leader, I have to be perfect,   I have, you know, I can't be questioned and this 

and that and then some. Sometimes it's a matter   of trying to like enforce that expectation  is what kind of creates more, the more overt   and the more like aggressive, toxic behavior.  and, but the whole idea that it really does   is just going to come from this, this absolute  ignorance to the reality of the human condition   and the reality of the workplace, that leaders are  people, they need to be able to try things out,   make mistakes. And a good leader is someone 

that owns that. And it's not just people that   we work with. We've seen great leaders in  great organizations. And one common thing   that most almost, I can see, I can't think  of any of them that don't have this, is they   have the self awareness to kind of say, yeah,  I don't know, and I'm going to ask questions,   we'll try this and I'll it might make a mistake.  They're willing to be vulnerable. They're willing   to put themselves out there. They're willing to be 

wrong. And it's, it's such a night and day between   those kinds of leaders and the ones that feel they  have to be infallible for how effective they are.

[JAMES]

Yeah. That willingness to be wrong   is such a powerful. And it's not only a powerful  tool in terms of making sure that things   actually get done, because you can't really try  anything new if you're not willing to be wrong.

[COBY]

Right. Yeah.

[JAMES]

Like that's what keeps people  in the same hamster wheel of doing the   same thing day in and day out and  getting the same terrible results.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

But also from a personal perspective,   when you get to that point of allowing  yourself to make mistakes, it's very freeing.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

Because we all make mistakes.  Nobody wants to get things wrong,   nobody wants to screw up, but we all do it.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

I mean, there's no getting  around that. And giving yourself   permission and acknowledging that  with your team when it happens is   such a powerful tool for building trust and  relation, good relationships with people.

[COBY]

And so I want to focus just  on this one that we should move on to.

[JAMES]

Probably going off on a tangent, but.

[COBY]

One last thing I do want to  say about it though, is that is again,   someone listening to this might be like, well,  I'm in the leadership role and the expectation   is on me from those above me, from the  board or from whomever that have to be   infallible. And that's. And that's a tough  place to be in. But I mean, part of it is,   is that expectation overtly said to you, or are 

you assuming that expectation? And if you're   asking yourself the question of, well, what  do I do when the person above me expects that,   Honestly, my advice would be to see clarity.  Like, just have that as an open discussion.

[JAMES]

Provide.

[COBY]

You have little safety  to do that. But I mean, clarify,   is it an unspoken expectation or  are, you know, or. Or is it that,   or is it an assumption? And I think  getting that clarity can be helpful.

[JAMES]

It can even come up when you're  looking to do, if you are the leader,   if you were responsible for a board and anytime  that you're trying something new, acknowledging   with whomever you're responsible, to that,  hey, this is what we're going to do. There's,   in all honesty, there's a possibility 

that it could not work out. You know,   create that plan and that dialogue with  them could be a way to find out whether   or not that's an overt or expectation  or something that you're reading into.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

But I think, getting back to the actual  question of are we sheltering and where do they   come from? I think a big part of where they come  from is people gaming the system. We see this a   lot in more corporate environments, honestly. in  large corporate structures where there's many,   many, many layers and levels to the hierarchy.  and people can kind of use, you know, position   themselves and use titles creatively to continue  their career advancement. And there's nothing  

necessarily wrong. There's nothing wrong with  career advancement. There's nothing wrong with   internal succession. But it really, to me I think  it relates closely to the Peter Principle. Right.   This idea that people get promoted in a hierarchy  to kind of the level of incompetence. Essentially  

you get. Employees get promoted based on their  success in previous roles until they reach a   level where they're no longer competent because  the skills that they had to perform their previous   role are no longer the skills that they actually  need to perform their new role. I mean Dilbert's   a great comic, that talks about this all the 

time. Right? Yeah, I love it. but that idea   of not being properly prepared for the new role  that you are taking on, whether that's through,   you know, you've been legitimately successful  and you've got promotion after promotion or   unfortunately we see people not being successful  but being very successful in navigating the   internal politics of organizations being promoted  into a place where they are completely ill suited.

[COBY]

Yeah. Well, and one of the  things that's. That's tough kind of,   kind of tying into the gaming kind of gaming  the system and building their career kind of   through the politics is often it's a quest for  the benefits of the promotion of the authority,   the pay, the prestige and wanting  that, but not necessarily the job.

[JAMES]

Yeah.

[COBY]

And some of that comes  from you know, when the lower,   when in the hierarchy, when compensation and you  know the actual like, you know, employee benefits,   everything like that don't really help you  with your quality of life until you reach   a certain level. That's when people are trying  to get to that, that level for that they don't.  

It's not about the job. It's. It's just about  kind of getting to that point because they feel   like there's a, There's a big disparity and a  lack of equity between know, kind of salary,   bans. But a lot of times it's really more about  the authority and the prestige I want. You know,   it's like I'm really good at what I do. But you  know, but everyone wants to get promoted. You   want the next job, you want to climb the ladder.  Is that what everybody is what I'm supposed to do?

[JAMES]

That's what we're trained to want.

[COBY]

Yeah, yeah. And so, so we, we,  we seek that job. Wanting the authority,   wanting the pay, wanting the prestige,  but not really wanting the job and not   being prepared for the realities of the job  that you're seeking. So you so hard. Right.

[JAMES]

And I want to make sure that I point  out the not being prepared is not only on the   employee, it's not only on the person who's  going after the job. Because companies do a   terrible job of preparing people for new roles of  having like we do a pretty. It's pretty easy to   develop internal succession programs where  we have career trajectories where we help   people advance through the ranks and  gain more experience, promote prestige,   authority. But we don't train them which 

is mind boggling. We keep putting people   into positions where we're setting them up to  fail and the company is the one who ultimately   yeah. Is done a disservice. I mean yes, it has a  direct impact on employees lives and that should   be a motivating factor. It rarely is, especially  in a corporate environment. But selfishly,  

as the company we should want to inv. Make sure  that the people we're putting into authority   positions have some level of training so that  they don't drive all of our employees away.

[COBY]

Right. No. So I think that, I think  that that's a pretty decent explanation about   kind of where these toxic leaders or where these   leaders that ah. Create toxic  environments kind of come from.

[JAMES]

But the real non exhaustive list.

[COBY]

But yeah, yeah. So let's just say these  are kind of three big two or three things that   we really see very often. It's not again by no  means is it. You know you can get into things   like nepotism and stuff like that too. But like  these ones about expecting availability kind of   gaming the system M and people wanting the  authority, pay and prestige but not the job   are probably the three that are most common. Like  staggeringly most common in the work that we do.

[JAMES]

Yeah.

[COBY]

but that, but, but going back to the  original question, are we sheltering these   leaders? Is really what we are trying to get to.  And there are kind of like again we got, we love   threes. We kind of have three main, main ways that  we're doing that. Again not an exhaustive list,   but again very common. Like you know why? And  I think the first one that I want Us to talk  

about briefly is I think the. Or, sorry, is the  reason it seems that many businesses, when they,   when they have these leaders who are creating  toxic environments, who are really not prepared   for the job, who are, you know, like having these  issues that are, that we're talking about and   then we can say, well, why are they still there?  Right? Like, that's really kind of the question.   I'm sure that's a question that you listen or  wanting us to get to. Why are they still there?  

And a big reason is a lot of businesses kind of  see them in that role as a sunk cost. They're   already there. It's too hard to replace them.  We've already invested this much time in them.   They've already gotten the promotion. You know,  we'll see how it all works out, you know. Well,   it's, you know, it's too much. It's to too much  work to kind of replace them or this or that.

[JAMES]

Or if we replace them, we  might have to put them in a different   position or we might have to offer them  severance or we might have to do X,   Y or Z or it's going to be  disruptive and yeah, it's.

[COBY]

Going to be an HR nightmare to kind  of move the person out or kind of go through   disciplinary actions and this and that. And that  is the stupidest reason, but also the most common.

[JAMES]

Yeah, yeah, it is. And I think part  of that comes from having. So you talk about,   you know, having to go through hr, disciplinary  procedures. And I mentioned in kind of the intro,   one of the reasons why I think this happened so  pervasively is because we are measuring people   incorrectly. Right. Our performance metrics are  for leaders rarely have, any direct, like our   result of how they treat people or how they are  building up their team. So you get the behaviors  

that you incentivize. So if you're incentivizing  only, production outputs, then people are going to   focus on that metric to the exclusion of all else.  And that's kind of part of the sunk cost. And part   of that we haven't done put the proper, processes  and evaluative tools in place to make sure that   in the event we have someone who creates a toxic 

environment, can we actually get rid of them? Can   we actually maybe not get rid of them, but how  do we either support them or transition them?

[COBY]

Right. Yeah. And you're right. I mean,  like, you know, if, again, if all that matters   and all that you're measuring are things  like reduction output and you have people   that are burning through employees, but they're  hitting that output. Then isn't everything fine?   And that's, you know, and to us, that best part  of the sun cost. Well, you know, if this is a   problem, then we still, we kind of have to uproot  our entire metric system and we're going to have  

to, you know, do this and that. Well, and to  me, I'm like, that's kind of like saying, yeah,   there's a giant hole in my roof and yeah, rain  and snow gets in, but you know, how much work it   is to actually fix. I got to call the roofer and  I got to do this. And then, you know, and then I.

[JAMES]

Was going to live  with the whole tarp over it.

[COBY]

Exactly. Yeah. I'll just  live with it. No one says that.   Right. But this is. To me, that's a pretty fair  comparison about how disastrously, effectively   dangerous something is to do workplace, just like  a giant hole in your roof is to your home. But   it's the idea of we in a workplace, we want to  just cover the giant hole with a tarp and kind   of say, yeah, it's good enough because it's  not, you know, because it's not affecting.  

Often those that have the power to actually, to  influence change is not affecting them enough   that they actually want to go through the. Go  through, you know, dealing with the sun cost.

[JAMES]

Yeah. And I see, I think that one really,  resonates in the corporate environment. the. What   I see very often in, kind of less corporate  structures, you know, smaller in companies   is. Tends to be people prioritizing their,  their personal relationships over professional   competence. So, you know, the. I, this happens  in corporate as well. But, you know, I,   I'm buddies with the owner or it's my. I'm hiring  as the owner. I'm hiring my nephew to work in my  

company. Yeah, the kid doesn't know his up from  down. I will say that's a better way of framing   it. Sure, sure. but, right. They're prioritizing  the personal connection, the personal relationship   that they have with people over the professional  competence and the actual impact that that person   is going to have in their organization on the  profitability and stability of their company.

[COBY]

Yeah, I mean, like, we see this all the  time and in businesses, you know, where it's like,   you know, well, the managers are all the drinking  buddies of the owner. And this, you know, I mean,   and this is really, really just what it is. Or, or  if it is, you know, hiring family or there's all   kinds of other stuff where it's the idea of the  priority is the, the relationship, not what's best  

for the business. It's what's best for like the  individuals involved, the people, the individuals   in power, not for the. What's best for the  company itself. And that's just the reality of it.

[JAMES]

I mean we've talked about  nepotism in the past and my personal   view is that it's not inherently  bad. It's m. Often used terribly. But   in and of itself it's not inherently  a bad thing. Right. I mean if I'm,   I'm a. We are business owners. I understand the,  the business owner perspective. If I have a family   member who I think would be who I to bring into  my organization, I have free reign to do so.

[COBY]

Right, right.

[JAMES]

But that also, needs to  be coupled with a responsibility   to making sure that they are properly  trained and equipped to do the job,   to support my staff and to  not muck up my organization.

[COBY]

Yeah, you're right. And I  mean it is important to kind of again,   I guess really ask yourself a hard question. If  you're in that position of authority, why is this   person being promoted? You know, and, and again,  and if you're, you know, if you can, if you can,   you know, be very kind of direct with yourself  and they go, it's only because they're family,   only because of my friends or because I like  them more, then that's up. to. It's your call.  

But just know that there are unintended  consequences that come with that call.

[JAMES]

Yeah. And it goes beyond even if they  are well positioned for that role or not. I mean   we've talked. We, we don't need to get into  all rehashing all of the same discussions,   but there's huge perception problems  that can come with nepotism. and.

[COBY]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so if this idea of  the nepism piece is interesting, we did an episode   at the end of last of end of season two where  we talked a bit more about that. I checked that   out if that's of interest. So yeah, so probably,  probably the third, the third reason why we tend   to shelter, these toxic leaders or leaders that  create, you know, toxic environments is kind of   that we don't necessarily know what's happening 

in the workplace. If we are in a position of like,   you know, if we are a leadership team or if we  are a board or if we are a council. You know,   we don't really know, what's going on. We're  hearing everything, sunshine and roses from,   from the people that were talking. They're talking 

to us. And if the people that are talking to us,   who are directly responsible for  talking to us are the problem,   we may not realize that everything is not sunshine  and roses, you know, to everybody else but them.

[JAMES]

Yeah, it. And that's a, that's a big  one. trying to. I don't know who the quote   is originally attributed to, but I always heard  it as you know, whoever controls the media,   controls the mind. This idea that if  someone's in control of the lines of   communication, they have full control  over the narrative that people hear.

[COBY]

Right.

[JAMES]

So if you are, if you're a board,   and you have a CEO who is toxic or  creates a toxic environment, I should say.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

and the only channel of communication you  have is that person. You're probably not going to   be given the. They're probably not going to self  report that they are creating a toxic environment.

[COBY]

Yeah, no, that, that reminds me of an  organization that we, we work with in the past   that after we had after we kind of stopped working  with them, a new, like a new CEO had kind of taken   over or new executive director or whatever. And  m. One thing that I remember talking to some of   the staff from there kind of like, you know,  like you know, a year and a half later about   how different everything was because, because  when we were there, the, the person in charge  

was a super like employee focused. We are in this  together. My success is based on your success. So   let's make you successful to a. As the, as the  staff had told me again, a year and a half later   I started working with them and this new person  came in, a micromanager. A person that was really   self possessed and you know, and really just what 

it was really had the exact opposite approach. And   what they had done was they had consolidated all  communication channels to you know, where like,   you know the, where the step so staff could no  longer speak to their board or whomever. And where   it used to be, there was a lot of communication  but that was shut right down. The only voice   they ever, the board ever heard was that of the  executive director. And it was, you know, like   everything is great. My staff are behind me 100% 

and the board didn't know any different. Now I,   if I was on the board would question why am I only  hearing this from one person. I would, you know,   I'd want to, I'd have some questions if this was,  this was happening, if it was me. But you know,   whatever. But the idea was, but in reality was  they were dealing with massive turnover. They   were dealing with like, you know, just, just  incredibly toxic environments. Like, you know,   longtime employees were putting in retirement 

early. Like there's all these huge warning   signs. But you're right, the executive  director, they controlled the narrative.

[JAMES]

Yeah. So the board, the,  the board didn't investigate. They   didn't see the warning signs for what they  were. They had a CEO or executive director   who was telling them what they wanted  to hear, that everything is fine. Oh,   this is just normal. Yeah. They, this person's  leaving because they have another opportunity. Oh,   this, this long time employee is leaving because  they want to spend more time with their family   or like. Right. There is always a reason. 

Yeah, but there was never any verification.

[COBY]

Yeah, but, but you're right because you  know, we say, we're saying, you know, who controls   the line of communication really essentially  controls a narrative. They had the only direct   line to the board, so they get to tell their story  and that was the only story they heard. And again,   the board didn't ask many questions to me, you  know, that, you know, whatever. But that is  

exactly what tends to happen. And we see this  when, you know, when there is that, you know,   you know, CEO, executive director, you know,  managing partner or you know, or city manager,   whatever. Right. That is a real risk if you're  only ever hearing the story of one person. And   because, and then it's the idea of that is how  a lot of the lack of investigation, the lack of   verification, everything is going fine is one way  that these toxic leaders end up being sheltered.

[JAMES]

Yeah. And I mean in fairness  to boards that are in that situation,   if somebody is controlling the narrative in  that way, they're also probably ruling by   fear. Right. They're the, their employees  would not have the psychological safety   to feel like they could actually express  those concerns to if they were asked by a   board member. Right. Because chain of  command, line of communication, very,  

important things to put in place. But anonymous  surveys are a great way to bypass some of that.

[COBY]

Yeah. And that's why we even created  our employee experience inspection tool,   which is just a really simple quick engagement  where we can do a very short investigation,   usually within a couple weeks. It's not overly  expensive to just kind of do a bit of a litmus   test on, on how are things validating if things  are the way they say they are and everything   else like that. And so when, you know, when some  leaders or boards are like, you know, because this  

can even happen with like store managers. So in  corporate environments where a store Manager has   that the only direct line and they say everything  is fine but they're not hearing any other kind of   validating information about that. Little things  like the kind of like quick inspections or quick   assessments or quick like you said, surveys  that are anonymous and protected and well,   you know design with strategy can be that quick.  Just you know, that quick health check are things.  

Can we validate that? You know for the leader  we want to validate that everything is as good   as they say that they are. And so, so we're just  going to check on that. Those can be things that   you can do that are not overly time intensive  or expensive that can make a huge difference and   uncover you know, some of these infrastructural  pieces that might protect these kind of leaders.

[JAMES]

Yeah, I feel like we've  been really hard on leaders so far   and I mean it's kind of by the  nature of the question itself.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

But I do want to get back to the idea  that oftentimes it's well intentioned people.

[COBY]

Right.

[JAMES]

Creating toxic environments.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

And there's a few scenario, there's  a few situations that kind of spring to mind   when we talk about this. one in particular  stands out. A small business owner who. Very   kind person in conversations, personable, does  a great job of at least talking about how they   really want to support their staff. Very  values driven, in their communications but   very authoritarian in their management style.  Which is kind of an interesting beast to wrap  

your head around. and it's not that this  person like they're not this cartoon ogre,   where just like always angry and yelling and  you know, being ridiculously over the top. I   think a lot of it really stems from a lack of  self awareness and emotional intelligence and   a projection on others the fears that they  have about themselves. but what it's done is   it's created this environment where they just,  they squeeze the life out of people because  

they're so restrictive because they. I see it  as a lack of confidence in themselves and in   their position. because knowing this situation  they did not work their way through the company   and actually didn't have any prior experience  in the industry. They married into the family   and took over the, the family business.  so I think there's a lot of self doubt.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

With this individual.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

But well intentioned. But it's  what the, the intention is unfortunately   secondary to the effect that it's having  on people because it's still creating this   very toxic environment that's driving the  top performers out of the organization.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

Squeezing people.

[COBY]

Yeah, well and like, I mean like  this is a great example of like one of the   three deaths of leadership of the modern leader  that we talk about which is you know our three   deaths are self sabotage, self preservation  and my micromanagement. Because the idea is   again when you are unconfident in your ability  to lead or how you got the job, if confidence   is a problematic issue for you, that's one  of the biggest causes of a lot of this toxic  

behavior. And I mean in this story is this  leader really was a great poster child for   the self sabotage was you know, this this idea of  projecting you know, insecurities onto others on,   on using kind of the harsh grip from  our project principle of squeezing the   life out of people and creating this, this very  adversarial relationship with employees while all  

the time trying to do the right thing. But just  every time they almost like go to act it's the,   they end up sabotaging themselves because it's  just you know, the idea of like you know I,   I can't, I can't show vulnerability. I can't, you  know, I can't you know, make be let someone else   kind of help me. I have to kind of do all this  kind of myself or you know, and I have to show   my family or whatever that I can do this. But they  end up just you know, sabotaging their stuff all  

along the way. And again it's not that this person  set up to be malicious, it's just the kind of the,   their origin story just created this self  sabotage approach which just turns into toxicity.

[JAMES]

And yeah you. Adversarial is an  excellent term in this situation because   we also talk frequently about consistent  consistency and how important consistency   is consistency in your behavior, in your  communications, the way that you treat   people. Because this situation had eroded any  form of trust in the organization because the,   the person, they are very compassionate. 

They want, and they would talk about all   the things that they wanted to do to build up  their team and support people and you know how   important this is a core value of theirs  and the companies. And then their actions   ran completely contrary to that. And it's the,  that adversarial approach that the inconsistency   between word and deed that created and really  started to fester with a toxic environment.

[COBY]

Yeah. And that story also kind of makes  me think about another business that we work with   where there was kind of a, ah, there was a like  a municipality and they had brought in a new cao,   or city manager. And they had a More like, you  know, their leadership style was pretty, it was,   was a, I would call it like an avoidance style.  And they really embodied the kind of the second   death of the modern leader, which is self 

preservation. They, you know, were not, they,   they really did not like handling conflict  or addressing issues head on. And you know,   it was something that we kind of came into, kind  of once things started to kind of go wrong and to   kind of help, you know, try and undo some of the  problems that this created. But it seemed like,   there's a lot of lack of confidence in, in their,  in the work that they did. So they did a lot of  

placating. They would reinsure employees to their  face, but they would ignore the issues that,   that would like, you know, that required  uncomfortable conversations. And one thing   that was kind of mind boggling when you kind of  saw the whole picture after the fact was what   they did was when problems, organization problems  were coming up, they would just remove authority   from the directors and from the managers 

of these areas. So it's almost like if they   weren't responsible for these things that were  having problems, then there's no one to report   the problems. Then the problems didn't exist.  Yeah, right. And it was again like, and again   this wasn't an intentional thing. It was just  kind of them reacting and trying to, you know,   preserve their position. They, you know, that  they, I, you know, really it seemed like they  

weren't confident in their ability to do it. And  I think they also kind of did a bit more of that   kind of like, you know, the, they control  the communication lines and controlled the   narrative. So the stuff wasn't as clear to their  city council. But yeah, I remember just like,   like just this just perfect example of how self  preservation can just destroy an organization   with somebody who was a pleasant person. They  weren't two faced. It was just they were drowning  

constantly and grabbing whatever they could. But  it was just they're holding on too tight to stuff   and they were just trying to preserve themselves  day to day and had no ability to think long term.

[JAMES]

They were focused on the preservation  of their career and their reputation. And the   sad reality is, yes, they are a nice person. They  are also wholly unequipped for the position that   they were in. Yeah. And that not being skilled  and equipped to do the job and focusing on   solely on how is everything going to reflect on  me as the leader is just a recipe for disaster.

[COBY]

Yeah. And to me their story really  is just that they wanted the authority,   pay and prestige of that position, but  they didn't Actually want the job itself.

[JAMES]

Yeah. How they got  the job, I still don't know,   but that's an entirely different conversation.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

There's one more style that I  unfortunately have seen, and that's kind   of more of a passive aggressive, toxic leadership  style and where they really put a lot of guilt and   pity on attacks on people, for not meeting their  rigid expectations. It's. I think it's better said   as they were an incredible micromanager where  every. Everything had to, really they were   over your shoulder making sure that things were  done their way. The outcome, successful outcome  

wasn't the important factor. It was. Did you do  it the way that I told you to? Right. it's the.   This is dumb example, but it's the difference  between, in math. Right. can you get to the   answer properly? versus can you follow the 18  different steps that I set out? That's probably   a bad example because math, you actually do need  to follow the property, way of doing things.

[COBY]

No one go to James for math  tutoring. Just, he's steering it wrong.

[JAMES]

I am not a mathematician. I love stats,  which is hilarious in and of itself. but, okay,   terrible example. Scratch that.  Pretend that I said something   articulate and funny and let. But really  it was a case of someone who, again,   not a terrible person. I thought they were an  absolute terrible manager. I've said many times   before that I have a very visceral reaction to  micromanagement. It's one of the things that will   kill any type of, leadership or management 

relationship for me. Right. Immediately.

[COBY]

Yeah.

[JAMES]

But this created such a, Such,  a toxic environment that the staff didn't   even feel like they were able to talk to each  other. Right. The micromanagement was not only   in the process of how things are supposed to be  done and looking over your shoulder in the work,   but micromanaged the communications between  teams. So everybody ended up being siloed,   which is not a healthy way to operate either.

[COBY]

Yeah, yeah. And I mean, like,  again, micromanagement is such a, Again,   it's such a dangerous thing. And it's the third of  the three deaths of the modern leader. And again,   all of these kind of deaths of the modern leader  kind of come from this lack of confidence. And   you know, not to say that the only kind  of toxic leaders are confident leaders,   but there's a strong correlation between  low confidence in leadership and creating a  

toxic environment. But I think to be a little bit  helpful to people to kind of say, okay, so here's   all this bad stuff. What can you do about It And  I think that again, to kind of talking to kind   of businesses in general, there's a relatively  simple fix to all of this. It's at least simple   in concept. And honestly it's trainer managers,  like all managers in your organization leaders,   managers should routinely and as part of their 

role be involved in continuous improvement. We   should be constantly investing in the  people that have the most authority,   that have the most impact on a company to  make sure that they do have the emotional   intelligence to kind of deal with people that they  do have, you know, coaches to help them through   some problematic areas so they don't have to  feel they have to go with this alone. We have to,   you know, allow normalize things like, you know, 

vulnerability and stuff like that. Give people   the confidence to handle the unfamiliar and to  handle the pressures that come with their job.   And to be honest, if that is probably one of  the biggest things that we could do, but is the   thing that almost never happens, largely because  the people that have the authority to make that   happen are usually the ones that are creating  the toxic environment and they don't want help.

[JAMES]

Yeah, that's true. And so I, I agree with  you 100. We need to train people better. We need   to support them, we need to give them the skills  to be successful in the roles that ah, we are   putting them in. But we also have a responsibility  to incentivize the right type of behaviors. So   if we are going to provide people with new  training, new ways of doing things, better   skills to manage their teams, then we also need to  put evaluative tools in place to make sure that we  

are reinforcing that. Because again, we. What is  being measured is what matters. And if you're only   measuring somebody's performance based on the  whatever production outcome is appropriate for   your business, and there's no metrics around how  people are treated, how they are supported, how   they are developed. If there's no, incentive for  a toxic leader to change because their evaluation   tools are being changed, we're not going training  alone, I don't think is going to be enough.

[COBY]

No, you're right, we do. If we're  not measuring the employee experience,   then we're not doing. Then we're not putting any  kind of emphasis on employees and on what it's   like to work there. And you're right. Just  training people without any kind of way to   measure progress. Success is not money well  spent. No, that's really good point. Okay,   I think this has been a pretty good  conversation. anything else you want to add?

[JAMES]

Except for my math  analogy, that was Done.

[COBY]

Well, it's okay. Everybody can.  So that's, that's a great snapshot.

[JAMES]

It's a great showcase of,  you're allowed to make mistakes.

[COBY]

I was going to say that's a great showcase   of the kind of random stuff you  kind of say to me off camera.

[JAMES]

Yeah, well, this is what happens  when you don't script, your responses.

[COBY]

Right, Fair enough. All right. so,  yes, let me just jump into a quick summary.   So our question was, are we sheltering toxic  leaders? And the answer is, largely, yeah,  

we are. And it's because we're creating these  environments where leaders, managers and leaders   kind of create toxic cultures by doing things like  expecting there are leaders to be infallible, by   promoting, people that are really not necessarily  good at the job, but they're good at gaming the   system and kind of like playing the politics to 

kind of get to the job that they want. Largely,   they want it because they want the authority,  they want the pay, they want the prestige,   but they don't really actually want the job itself  and they're not prepared for the realities of the   role. Why do we do that? Well, it seems like we  do it because we are not wanting to, accept the   fact that there are sunk costs in these people.  We've already invested in them, we've already put  

them in this place. They're there now. And it's  too hard, too expensive, too long a process to   do anything about it. Or we promote people based  on personal relationships over their professional   competence. Or we kind of silo our leadership  teams in our boards and those who these leaders   are accountable to by letting those leaders be who 

controls the lines of communication. They control   the narrative, they control the perception, and  they can leave those above them in the dark about   what the reality is, is. So what does this kind of  look like? Well, this can look like authoritarian   style leadership where, you know, it's the idea  of, you know, holding, holding too tight onto   people and projecting insecurities of yourself  into, in your job onto those that you work with  

and driving away your top performers. It can look  like avoiding things. It can look like, you know,   not addressing or handling conflict. It can look  like, you know, removal of authority as a way   to maintain control. Or it can look like James's  favorite thing, which is micromanagement. It can   look like controlling a team and siloing people  to keep everybody in the dark. But if you want to   fix these problems, we need to look at things like 

training. We need to try and make sure that it's a   normal thing and it's part of most leadership and  management positions that people are continuously   improving their skills as leaders and managers.  But to do that, we also have to start measuring  

people effectively. We have to create, we have to  create clear measurables that, that impact things   like the employee experience that actually have  things like 360s in your performance reviews in   creating you know, performance processes that  really leverage what's really important to the   business and ideally that's more than just  the stock price or the production outputs.

[JAMES]

Yeah.

[COBY]

All right, so that about does it for  us. For a full archive of the podcast and access   the video version hosted on our YouTube channel,  visit Roman3ca Pod podcast. Thanks for joining us.

[ANNOUNCER]

For more information on topics  like these, don't forget to Visit us at   Roman3ca. Side effects of this podcast may  include improved retention, high productivity,   increased market share, employees  breaking out in spontaneous dance,   dry mouth, a version of the sound of James’  voice, desire to find a better podcast…

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