Should We Stop Shaming Sugar Dating and Relationships?

talked about these Singapore sugar daddy scam. Well I've got to update on that for you as well here on the program tonight. But first you got to go and do a little bit of business. Stay tuned for this, all right.

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actress presenter among other things. Her name is Nandi Madida and pretty famous in South Africa, and she made some comments out there by the way, beautiful woman, and she mentioned how in South Africa that times are very tough,

and I've talked to some girls in South Africa. Beautiful woman by the way down there, I show speed was just down there recently meeting and getting the feast his eyes on the beautiful wman that were there in South Africa, the dark skinned, lovely African females that were down there, And she is weighing in on why, in her views, some young women find themselves and compromise situations and relationships.

If you didn't know, from the time I've spent browsing through sugar daddy sites, there were quite a few women, quite a few women in South Africa seeking sugar daddies because the price of the South African rand is minuscule when you look at it, Just to give me the heads up, So sixty three cents and a US dollar equals one South African rand, and I mean it just

there's a lot to that. It's like even lower than what you would find in Jamaica or any other Caribbean countries as a matter of fact, or Dominican Republic for that matter. So, the thirty seven year old singer, actress, model presenter was on a podcast with El Tito, who

discussed the growing trend of women dating for financial reasons. Now, this podcast that she was on, I wasn't on to find too much about, but the thing is she was featured on there, and she says she doesn't believe in judging women who find themselves in such circumstances, but the rather and exhibiting the systems that place them there. So I want to go and play what she actually said.

not usually that speck. Let's be honest, right, But now we have a country that doesn't have enough support. You've seen it, whether it's funding for university. You saw frismas four, you saw how the kids were treated, you saw what Keenan used to speak about AKA. You know, God bless him, we love him. It's still an issue and it's very intentional as well, or at least it feels that way. If a female is empowered, a young female, the chances of them compromising who they are a minimal I can

tell you now why I'm so confident. It's like we could avoid al Tito's as a joke just.

what they want. But when times are economically tough, you know, recessionary kind of periods call for reactionary type of things, so you do something to go ahead and help to sustain so the women there or not against the idea of sugar dating. And she goes on but as a job.

if we can empower females, think about it. Who wants to be with the sugar daddy? No one, guys. These beautiful girls don't want to be with the sugar daddy. They know it, but they're compromised from a financial perspective as well. Yes, there may be a few were into a lifestyle and whatever. But the truth is, if you can get empowered and if whether it's a government or private sectors really saying we can change your life, I'm telling you now, they'd be able to change their lives.

the youth, I'm talking about females. There's not one female who would tell you they want to be with a criminal, a sugar daddy, or some random minister, and that most young women simply want opportunities that allow them to stay

on their room. This is the problem where we have women that are not able to go ahead and get any kind of sustainability from family when there's not a proper family structure and women are coming out of the woodwork, young beautiful women that are coming from single family homes, single mothers, and you know, step situations, fosters, whatever. Think of the situations that you know for some woman if

they don't have that strong family structure. There's something to be said about where we want women to feel protected and loved and had had that wonderful atmosphere, because you have to ask yourself, how many women do you see out there that are influencers, which is a step away from they want to be able to be maintaining a lifestyle. Again, it's a fantasy. They want to go and live out. So they're trying to find a way to go ahead and live out the fantasy of not needing anyone because

no one was there for them. Finding the money they want because they didn't have what was there for them and provided for them like they would want. And social media makes it very tough now because there's an impulse to be having what other women have, or having more than what they have, things like that. So it's very important to go in to that point and say, okay for women out there, yes, there are those you can tell.

If you're going on to a sugar Day site, you realize there are some that are there just to go ahead and make ends meet because they just went away to get something done. And those are the good ones out there, the ones that you know are not like trying to go ahead and sanguine you and rob you

of all your money. They might be asking for things because they're just asking like they would have only asked their father or ask you know, some other man of their life until they can get themselves to a point where they're on their own feet. Because I'm sure with many of those influencers out there, or many of those women out there, before they got themselves to be the independent modern women that they were, before they had to start somewhere, they did try to get some support from somewhere.

I don't think any woman just comes out overnight. I mean for those that decide to go and go on to OnlyFans, it's the same idea that we know that they are working their way to get some kind of ends meet for themselves before they have to do themselves. So the empowerment is that women you don't inherently are

supposed to be subservient. You would think there would be, there's a maternal instinct, there's a subservient instinct, of vulnerable instinct, a seminin instinct because they shouldn't have to go ahead and be out there doing it on their own. But obviously now it's become very obvious through the feminist culture has been around for sixty years that women are meant to go and feel like it's not even to the

point where, okay, we want women to have equality. Absolutely as a man, I want that, but to feel like they don't need any man or any woman or anyone else to live their lives. That idea of loneliness and then trying to go and do things on their own and struggling, as we've seen with many people here in Florida, especially in South florid where I'm at or pickting where around the country in major cities, women that are struggling to make thems meet. It's not easy over here for

women to go ahead and get themselves. Here in southwarda where I'm at, where it's a growing hub, tech, financial, what have you? Like? The thing is I see women now that are trying to live that life and they're being given all this impulsive area is to go ahead and go. So in downtown on what's pumping where I'm at. You know, you go down the street, you have alo to go find, you know, workout type gear or clothing, this everyday gear for the women out there, which is

very expensive. Equanos, which is the extra high end gym out there, to go to pop up bagels or amnem or what is it, H and H Bagels, right, all these different shops Romoca, Latees, Machas, Salise or you know, three Natives and all these other places to go. And so women are being enticed to go ahead and just like live this lifestyle like an influencer. You come down here, come for the weather, come for the atmosphere, come for the people, and just come for this whole vibe that

you get from this place. But it's very expensive. Go and live down here bus not to mention the housing down here, which is very expensive, and to live in the whole thing of having this concierge lifestyle and living all these things like it's just too much to ask for. So Nondi Madida goes on to say that impartment plays a critical role in predicting young women from compromising her values, and she says here, going back to what she said, we're going to play that back for you real quick.

As a matter of fact, may go back to that real quick and just go to the part where she says this here, because I think what she said here was very important, because I think how she said it when it comes to empowering females, if you can get them empowered, they would be able to change your lives. Again, this is what she said in that clip. So we're gonna go back to that a once again and just make the point because I think what she says here

is very clear and it makes a great point. So let's go back to this.

You know what I'm saying. And when I we provide, having someone who can take you through college support you in that way. So what we're finding is a pandemic and I am my biggest passion is young females where if we can empower females, think about it. Who wants to be with the sugar daddy? No one, guys. These beautiful girls don't want to be with the sugar daddy. They know it. But they're compromised from a financial perspective as well. Yes, there may be a few were into

a lifestyle and whatever. But the truth is, if you can get empowered and if whether it's a government or private sectors really saying we can change your life, I'm telling you now they'd be able to change their lives.

and they see that down there. But the thing is, these are African women that are beautiful that you know from a tribal point Okay, fathers, uncles, you know, brothers and sisters. It's a different family unit down They're very extended and very supportive you would imagine, and maybe they don't have that much, but just to try to do things to help them to find a way to a better life, as she says, help find for young women to make her way through college. You know, that's a

very noble thing. And for any man who has a daughter or just has a woman in their life, they want to see them succeed in something. If they can find a career or hobby or something they find passion is, yeah, let's do something out of love and try to support in that way. But in America, it's a much different story, Nandy, because we have down here women that, as she says, they are looking at the financial freedom and they're looking

to go ahead and live this lifestyle. Well, that lifestyle has been amplified for so much down here, it's gotten really bad and it's unfortunate in that way. But I gotta appreciate where she came from with this, and her

idea here is is really good. So I like that she came and at the same time, she's also speaking about men at the same vein, which is also interesting, and she sparks a debate for grace for black men in South Africa, and we can also think this conversation and there's something more that's going on here for America as well. We can also think that. So she also spoke about the fact that in her marriage your career, she talked about systemic inequality, masculinity and economic pressure in

South Africa. So she here's another clip from her talk about having grace for black men. I think you could take this subject and put it into even a bigger perspective about how it is for men to give respect.

And I think that's what she's doing here, is she is really some of the fact of the issues that men go through and the financial hardships they also go through in a system of government, and just the way that the country is there economically, which is also again economic hardships are not just affecting for women, it's also for men. So for men that cannot make the kind of money to support the women out there, that's where she comes through with this. So let's play that part.

And if you can see, the intention is to do better, you know, and make someone something serious, you know, that's a good guy. Yeah, and I mean that genuinely. I always say that, like, oh black men particularly, I'm going to speak about Africa because I'm priorly sou Afrigan. Oh, you guys are up against so much, and.

to see government health. That's a political discussion that I'm not going to have here. But she makes a point on this program because she's trying to make the point about how guys of gals, you know, the job market, private jobs, public jobs, there's just jobs to find in South Africa in general are the worst of any you know, structured,

highly developed country. Put it like that, for any highly developed country in any other part of the world, like so Europe or Asia, or North America here or South America, the job market there is extremely difficult because there are millions upon millions of people that are not working right now.

So it's tough for everybody. And so for women, they can go the route of trying to find ways to go ahead and use their bodies and use who they are, you know, their youth, their to help get themselves ahead. But it's not something they want to do because there's a pride to being South Africa and being black that they don't want to go for this for too long. This is not kind of mindset that we've talked about here,

where before we had OnlyFans. You know, if a woman wanted to find a way to go ahead and move ahead in life, if they went worked at a Hooters or a Twin Peaks, or work at a strip club or things like that where they did some things that were a little bit more sexual, salacious, a little more naughty. But like you know, if that was something a way to go ahead make ends meet, that's what they did.

So what else can you do about that? But I love the fact that she actually brings us up about men just from a social factor that you know, appreciate where men are coming from. Because the thing is now social media has made it a point where women that are independent and modern, they don't even care about the men and the money they make or what they provide for them. That there's not even a care in the

world for these men at all. So like, if a sugar daddy is out there, that woman's not appreciating him. If it's a younger, you're gotta especially even more. But even if it's a transactional relationship, the women don't care about the men at all. It's getting more and more clear all the time. It depends if the social media is out there and that the women are really bought onto that, and it's like they're basically like, you know,

emotionally broken. They they don't have any empathy, no sympathy for a guy and what they're going through, what it took for them to go and make the money to go and buy them the back, buy them, you know, a nice dinner out, whatever. It's no appreciation for that. And the appreciation is not just the sex. Okay, this should be more than that. So being transactional like that to the point of being transactional is horrible. But we're getting to that point now and there's no appreciation for

the men. So here's more from Ltito here, who's tucking to Nadima d a little bit more about this, a little more of this clip. We're gonna play this real quick.

judge each other like very hasty. We're looking for people who are already made or who are like already perfect, and I think that's why there's so much miscommunication between males and females.

grace that social media has amplified unrealistic standards of success and wealth and the digital ages burn the line between aspiration and reality creating pressure for people to perform prosperity in their everyday lives. But then there's a lot of backlash to this where I hear about what she said Nandi Vandita. So one person here, doctor Rebrandt on X rights the black community is very interesting to me. Nandy is saying something she would never do. She gives them

grace from a distance. She'd never be with a broken man. Men who are applauding her in the comments will never even access her. The advocacy is for who exactly more commentary. I understand Nandy, and I also understand the girlies. Do black men have it hard because of the system, Yes they do. But do the girlies have a right to say they don't want a relationship build on struggle, Yes

they do. Nobody is wrong, nobody's right. So there's a part where women don't want a relationship build on struggle. But see the honest relationships. You know, they always talk about the fact that you know, when you see a millionaire, a billionaire so into successful, when they stick with somebody that's been there since the beginning, since the jump up, from the get go, those are the ones that you

stick around with. Because you realize it doesn't matter what you have, that's real love, and that's the part I think what's really understood. More women also coming to hear that not as a well grounded message, but it's over simplified and has selective emphasis, underplaying accountability, a select to focus on Black South africamand using social media as a scapegoat, and fell distress that healthy relationships require mutual grace, not

one sided leniency. These gender wars must stop because carry generational curses and the Black community does not deserve the aunt attractiveness that comes with them. And by the way, this can go for any community out there. It's go for anybody as young. Let's just make that clear too. Now stay tuned because in just a minute, I'm going to tell you about the update on the Malaysian sugar Daddy skin.

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yacht in Malaysia. He would arrange meetings, appear in person, pretend to be the man's driver before assuming the false identity of the sugar Daddy to pressure the woman into sleeping with him. Elaborate scheme. You know, this is one of those kind of things where I don't think I could go this much. But there must have been something about this guy that had some money on him to be able to orchestrate this kind of deal. He would further threaten to release explicit videos and victims unless they

transferred money or provided other benefits. Now, one woman was promised thirty thousand dollars a month in return for a sexual relationship. Wow, for any woman that they they're going to be able to make that kind of money as a sugar baby, what kind of mindset do you have? You're saying seventy five hundred dollars, we're saying one thousand dollars a day. I gotta say it like this. I don't know how this woman didn't realize she was going to get screwed over. What kind of delusional thinking is

there right there for one to go and think that. Listen, I feel bad for her. I can't believe this happened to her. This was wrong. But still she's already setting herself up for a trap because she's asking for so much by the way. That guy, remember, also had a wife and son. So now the story in this here is that he has been sentenced to twelve years in jail. For pretending to be a rich white man and coercing

woman into sex. Now back in then the story, He's been convicted of two counts of cheating and one count each of extortion and attempted extortion, including involving two victims identified in core documents the WTE Public. WTE Public prosecutor Jeremy Benn told the court quote by his horrific and perverse conduct purely intended to satisfy both his sexual material desires, they accused as callously and irreptibly damaged the lives of

his victims. He adopted multiple online personas, including Mike and Other Days, saying he was a white man with a lot of lifestyle and offering large monthly sums in return for sex and companionship. And he would refer to be the sugar Daddy's drivers in that role to gauge whether he could cultivate sympathy or resort to threats related to

the fictional benefactor. So again, one hundred and forty two thousand dollars American or one hundred and eighty two thousand dollars in Singapore, And he still has pending charges involving thirteen other alleged victims, and in a separate case involving another woman, he was sentenced last year to four and a half years jail or to pay seven thousand dollars Singapore dollars compensation for pleading guilty to cheating offenses now in Singapore and Malaysia because he's from Malaysia but was

also operating here in Singapore. That authorities and lawyers hey say that arrangements can quickly cross into criminal territory when payment is explicitly tied to sexual acts, when deception is used to obtain consent, or when threats and expectations are involved. So yeah, he used the sugar book dot com platform for sugar dating and was able to connect to mutually consumting adults, accused by critics and authorities of facilitating transactional sex.

There was another case in twenty twenty one where there was a man jail for orchestrating and an elaborate and wall executed plan to cheat women by posing his wealthy benefactor, and several other men received jail sentences last year in some of the cases targeting teenagers and threatening to circulate explicit images to exert control over the victims. So this is nothing new, but there we go. The guy got

his justice ERTs. He's going to be in jail, and I would imagine, I would imagine that that guy's not gonna do too well in jail. You know, instead of having young women or teenage women to extort and to get sex from, he's going to get it from some other guys out there that will see him to do something a little depraved. And the bonders