77. Chasing the Buzz: Understanding Our Impulse-Driven Actions

Intro [00:00:00]:
On this week's episode...

Phillip [00:00:01]:
We're being, like fucking eloquent with, like, a stupid definition. We're getting caught up on it.

Eldar [00:00:04]:
You guys are being dumb as fuck. If you want to be a conscious idiot, that's okay. I think that's perfectly fine.

Oleg C [00:00:09]:
I'm looking for an apartment right now. There's an email on Craigslist. I write it, and then somebody gives this, like, you know, obviously translated from another language thing. Sometimes I'm like, you know, maybe I should give my phone number. You know, like.

Eldar [00:00:21]:
But wait, what? How the fuck do we land there, bro?

Phillip [00:00:24]:
Is dungeon and dragons code for, like, a sex party, or is it, like, you actually play in the game? I got a kind of a weird question. So when you've jerked off before, has Eldar ever come up in your thoughts?

Oleg C [00:00:32]:
These guys, with their conclusions?

Eldar [00:00:44]:
All right, Mike, introduce the topic.

Mike [00:00:45]:
The topic is. And for those who don't know what that means.

Eldar [00:00:48]:
Oh, yes. Please explain to us what that means. Give us some fucking examples.

Oleg C [00:00:52]:
There, isn't that as terms?

Mike [00:00:54]:
We have our own dictionary coming out.

Eldar [00:00:57]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:00:58]:
Sign up now to get it. Buzzing is, like. Is when your mind is non stop going. At least for me, it's. My mind is nonstop going, wanting to do shit, and never really slowing down to see what's happening. And then you end up in certain situations which are, you know, afterwards, they're under not desirable. So, like, you lose your head, you lose your, like, ability to think, and you're just kind of going off a straight roll, like gas to the fucking pedal. That's, um.

Mike [00:01:28]:
That's how I would describe buzzing.

Eldar [00:01:29]:
And.

Mike [00:01:30]:
And I get into those states of buzzing, and, uh. And then I can't stop because what.

Oleg C [00:01:37]:
Is buzzing when you're just going berserk?

Eldar [00:01:40]:
You didn't understand what he said? No.

Oleg C [00:01:42]:
Okay, Mike, it sounds like living.

Eldar [00:01:47]:
You're definitely trouble too, then.

Oleg C [00:01:48]:
It sounds like a new, like, millennial hip hop term and shit.

Phillip [00:01:52]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:01:52]:
What's buzzing?

Oleg C [00:01:53]:
What's buzzing, though? Yeah, yo, what's buzzing with you?

Eldar [00:01:56]:
That's when you watch those shows, you know, on tv, the reality shows, love islanders. Like, y'all buzzing? Yeah. They say this all the time.

Anatoliy [00:02:06]:
No, they're like, oh, very happy.

Eldar [00:02:07]:
No, they're very happy.

Oleg C [00:02:09]:
That's not the same with this word, boomer. Like, that's, I guess, me or.

Eldar [00:02:12]:
I don't know.

Anatoliy [00:02:13]:
You're a doomer.

Eldar [00:02:15]:
You're a doomer. Yeah. Doom is a good game. Doomsday prepper. That's what you talking about, right? Yeah. Your doomsday prepper oh, no, no.

Oleg C [00:02:24]:
That's. That shit is cool, though. I like the game.

Eldar [00:02:29]:
What.

Anatoliy [00:02:29]:
What's the like? Like, is there a question behind it? Like, how to, like. I guess not, like. Like, buzz that.

Oleg C [00:02:36]:
No, there is buzzing when you're always doing something and keeping yourself occupied instead of ever just, like you're doing and not thinking. Okay.

Eldar [00:02:45]:
Are you extremely excited? Right? Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:02:48]:
You have the opposite problem. You're thinking and not doing.

Oleg C [00:02:51]:
No, but I get buzzing too.

Eldar [00:02:53]:
Okay, maybe you can explain some of your examples, but let's try to, you know, understand what. What he's saying, since you don't understand it yet. Yeah. Like, explain to Olig, you know, what do you actually mean by that? Like, he says, this is just living. You just have. You don't have a problem here. You just. This.

Eldar [00:03:06]:
It's normal. What is the problem? Like, what have you identifying yourself in your daily life? Or what is it? Maybe bring example up or to. To explain this phenomenon that you're experiencing. Do you know what that is? What he's talking about? Yeah. Okay, Philip, you do. Okay. Olig does. Yeah.

Oleg C [00:03:25]:
You guys probably talked about it all day here.

Eldar [00:03:27]:
Yeah, of course. You know. Yeah. We don't only know, we witness it.

Mike [00:03:35]:
So what. What would, um. What would it look like?

Oleg C [00:03:39]:
Give me an example of buzzing.

Eldar [00:03:40]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:03:40]:
What's an example?

Mike [00:03:41]:
When you're, like, when you meet somebody new person, guy, girl, whatever. And you. You're having. You spend time together, right? And you're kind of doing a lot of shit, but you're not really thinking.

Eldar [00:03:53]:
About what you're doing.

Mike [00:03:54]:
You're just doing a lot of stuff, and then you're not really getting to know each other, not paying attention to what's happening. And then after, like, some time, you realize that you're disrespecting yourself, you're disrespecting the other person, you know? And I think that it's basically, like.

Eldar [00:04:10]:
The way totally put it is probably.

Mike [00:04:11]:
The best, is, like, thinking. I mean, doing, but not thinking. You just. And then you're not. And then you have to suffer the consequences, which is usually you get upset, you get angry, you get frustrated. Right. You get undesirable outcomes, like, yeah, oligarch.

Eldar [00:04:25]:
You're getting an idea what's going on here, or. No.

Oleg C [00:04:27]:
Is it where you're taking a lot of actions, usually in a more kind of a rushed, like, quick, quick manner, because you're on it. Like on a wave.

Eldar [00:04:36]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:04:37]:
On a wave.

Eldar [00:04:37]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:04:37]:
Without self reflection in between.

Eldar [00:04:39]:
That's right. Yes.

Oleg C [00:04:40]:
Like, maybe you're going on dates with some girl, and you're just. You're smashing crazy. But you don't take a moment to think, like, yo, this person's a little fucking fucked up. Or. Or maybe I'm fucked up.

Eldar [00:04:51]:
Sure.

Oleg C [00:04:52]:
Like that.

Eldar [00:04:53]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [00:04:54]:
That could be one of those instances, but I think it could be also be on your own. Like, when you're doing shit on your own, you just, like, doing shit. You like, you know, you're taking trips and don't know, going on vacations. You're going out to eat.

Eldar [00:05:05]:
Like, it's what.

Mike [00:05:07]:
You know what it is, is that you're running from yourself. You don't want to face yourself, right? Like. And that's probably the question around it.

Eldar [00:05:15]:
Why, before you give him the answer, why are you concluding that? Let's just dive into the. What's actually going on? Give them some more examples. Give your example. Like, I don't know, like, the way you. Like, I don't know. Maybe you just recently mentioned to me, right? You said, hey, Eldar, like, wanted to go travel. Right? You made that example. Yeah.

Mike [00:05:32]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:05:32]:
Like, that's a good example. You know, you're like, yo, I'm ready to buy something. You know, book the flight. You book the flight.

Mike [00:05:39]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:05:39]:
You know what I mean? Explain that. Yeah, yeah.

Mike [00:05:41]:
So there you go, huh? No, I'm not going. I cancel the fight, right?

Eldar [00:05:46]:
Yeah, yeah.

Mike [00:05:48]:
I got. I started doing research into this fucking flights. I wanted to take a trip. I got excited, started doing research, you know, on the prices. I found a sick deal. Like, all that stuff you picked yourself.

Eldar [00:06:00]:
With the neck pillow on the plane.

Mike [00:06:01]:
Yeah, I already picked out the neck pillow.

Oleg C [00:06:03]:
Their destination. Or this was just. Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:06:07]:
You just want to go round trip JFK.

Oleg C [00:06:13]:
Because it's not like, yo, I found this place. Like, I realize it's beautiful. There's these kind of, like, cuisine, or they're specialized in this thing I love. He's just like, no, he likes the airplane food. He's like, I. Look, Florida flights, they were good deals.

Mike [00:06:25]:
Have black caviar unlimited and champagne. Like, what an.

Oleg C [00:06:34]:
Guys is doing round trips all weekend.

Eldar [00:06:38]:
Okay, so he booked it.

Oleg C [00:06:41]:
That's wasn't it, you know?

Eldar [00:06:42]:
Yeah, for sure.

Mike [00:06:43]:
So I booked it, and then I, you know, came to Eldar afterwards.

Eldar [00:06:49]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:06:49]:
And I told him about it. I wanted, you know, him to join it. But at the time, I was, like, kind of, like, thinking I was gonna go alone. But then as more time passed, I realized, like, yo, I don't really want to go alone. Booked a strip, and now I'm gonna go by myself. I'm not gonna have as much fun, obviously, as I would if I was to enjoy the traveling and spend the time my friends, you know? And I realized that that's not me. But this happens to me, you know, where I come with the ideas. I want to do stuff because I'm buzzing.

Mike [00:07:15]:
I jump. I end up, you know, like, I didn't lose any money here except my time that I spent in researching, which is fine, but, like, I'm getting overly excited. I'm doing, like, irrational things, things that, like, don't really line up with my kind of my character, which is, I am social. I like to be around people. I like to enjoy experiences with people, you know? And then I end up here. I booked something, and then I'm like, y'all, I'm not even, like, I'm excited, but I'm like, not really. You know? And then.

Oleg C [00:07:49]:
Where did you book it from?

Eldar [00:07:50]:
Trip Italy is like, does that, like, a kick kicker for you or.

Oleg C [00:07:55]:
No, I just figured that might be a important detail.

Eldar [00:07:58]:
Okay.

Oleg C [00:07:59]:
Cooling upstate New York.

Mike [00:08:01]:
No.

Eldar [00:08:03]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:08:04]:
So that's one instance, you know? I mean, like, that's. That's, like, a justice. Like, a one of it. But I guess there's a lot other ones where maybe I was. I had a friend or not a friend.

Eldar [00:08:15]:
Oh, yeah.

Mike [00:08:15]:
That was guy Edwin.

Eldar [00:08:16]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:08:18]:
Podcast. But don't matter. We became buddy buddy. Like, we're friendly, on a friendly note. And then I guess I gave trust. He gave trust or whatever. I'm not sure how, like, everything happened, but. And then a few months into our relationship, like, he starts, like, talking to me in an out of control way, accusing me of crazy shit, losing his kids, you know, like, thinking that he can talk to me respectful.

Mike [00:08:44]:
Because in that buzzing moment, you allow anything to come in because you want to hang out, you want to do shit. You're down for the cause. You're down to do whatever. And then you get caught up, caught off guard, because you're just letting all, like, there's no morals, no ethics, no beliefs, no values. You're just taking everything because you're going so fast, you don't even see what's happening around you. That person's been disrespecting the whole time. But because you're desperate, in a way, to do shit, to be in the go, to always be buzzing. You don't see what's happening.

Eldar [00:09:11]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:09:12]:
You end up in situations.

Eldar [00:09:14]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:09:14]:
You don't see flags. You don't actually get to know people. Like, see what they're about, you know, you don't observe them.

Oleg C [00:09:20]:
Okay. So it's not what I thought it was at first. I thought it was, like, this thing, like, I don't know, like, I have. Where I constantly need something. Like, even. Even when you're walking from the shop or, I mean, from the tv to go take a piss, like, put on a podcast. Always something to distract. Yeah, but this seems more of it.

Eldar [00:09:37]:
It's probably linked to it, but it seems more, like.

Oleg C [00:09:39]:
About being impulsive. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's just completely. That's. Yeah, there's people that are just, like, on, on.

Eldar [00:09:50]:
But.

Anatoliy [00:09:50]:
But I don't necessarily think that, like, there. It's not like, you know, any morals or values or, like. Like, I think that, like, a lot of these things, when any of us experience something like that, I think that, like, it's a reflection of, like, it's a reflection of who we are, right?

Eldar [00:10:05]:
Like, 100% right. So especially when we act on.

Anatoliy [00:10:07]:
Yeah, there are morals and values that that person has that chose to make those decisions.

Eldar [00:10:13]:
Right.

Anatoliy [00:10:15]:
And then maybe when they, like, feel, like, the after effects of them, they're upset, but, like, they still have, like, that. That person still does have morals and val and values, and, like. Like, I think he still has logical sense into, like, why he's making the decisions that, like, he's making. Just. I think that that buzzing state is just, like, an extension of, like, who that person is. I think that, like, if that person had, like. I mean, like, if they had different morals and values, then their buzzing state would be then, like, the reflection of that. So, like, they're, like.

Anatoliy [00:10:52]:
They're, like. Like that.

Eldar [00:10:53]:
That.

Anatoliy [00:10:54]:
That, like, time that you're talking about, I think, would be, like, a different type of time. Like. Like, if they had that. Like, it would be an extension right there.

Eldar [00:11:05]:
You're separated. It's just now, didn't you. Okay, so then explain it again. I didn't get it.

Anatoliy [00:11:10]:
Yeah, I'm saying more of, like. Like, those states of, like, we call them, like, I guess not thinking.

Eldar [00:11:16]:
Right.

Anatoliy [00:11:16]:
Like, states almost, like. Like, a bunch of things happen, and then you're just, like, you know, like. Like saying that, like, oh, you didn't really think it through is what happened, right?

Eldar [00:11:23]:
No. You almost don't realize how you got there. Yeah. Yeah. So what happens? Right?

Anatoliy [00:11:26]:
You didn't think it through.

Eldar [00:11:27]:
Yeah. You're going very fast.

Oleg C [00:11:28]:
You talking about face? Facebook eyes? Remember that term back in the day you guys used to use. Yo, you got those Facebook guides?

Eldar [00:11:36]:
No, no, no.

Oleg C [00:11:38]:
I think totally will say.

Eldar [00:11:40]:
Okay.

Oleg C [00:11:44]:
No, this shit was hilarious.

Eldar [00:11:46]:
No, we don't remember all. It's. Yeah, no, I was probably a different men's group that you.

Anatoliy [00:11:52]:
Is that the one you want with Nate?

Oleg C [00:11:55]:
No, it was back in the old office when I used to work in letter friend. And you would always make jokes like you like something like totally getting carried away when thinking about food or some shit.

Eldar [00:12:08]:
Hungry eyes.

Oleg C [00:12:09]:
No, but you call it Facebook guys. I guess maybe you're hungry for the notifications or some shit.

Anatoliy [00:12:15]:
Oh, no, I don't remember that. Yeah, no, yeah, I'm saying is that, like, I don't view them as two separate things. I just view them as like an extension of who?

Eldar [00:12:29]:
Of who?

Anatoliy [00:12:29]:
Of who we are.

Eldar [00:12:31]:
No, I agree with that. But you said there's. It's an extension of your reason. Of your reason.

Anatoliy [00:12:35]:
Yes, it is.

Eldar [00:12:37]:
How is that an extension of reason? Well, it's. It's.

Anatoliy [00:12:39]:
It's like of your morals and your, and your values, like, they're just like in a fast forwarded state.

Eldar [00:12:45]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:12:46]:
So it's, so it's like, it's, it's a manifesting.

Eldar [00:12:48]:
They're man action.

Anatoliy [00:12:49]:
Yes, but you view them as not thinking because afterwards the, the results are not. When you're morally thinking about something. Like, we all think about things differently when, like, something happens to us or like, like we ended up in shit, for example. Yeah, well, yeah, when we're, like, in a reflection state, like, we're all thinking in a very, I guess, what we would call right now, like, logical, more like, you know, clear state. Yeah, and I think that, like, like, that, I don't think is who we are always like.

Eldar [00:13:19]:
Right.

Anatoliy [00:13:19]:
Yeah, that's how we get into those situations.

Eldar [00:13:22]:
So. Yeah, yeah. Correctly is like, if this is coming out and this is so natural for you and it's ongoing repetitive behavior, then this is who you actually are.

Mike [00:13:31]:
No, I think that's. Yeah, like, obvious. Like, I mean, I'm not acting.

Eldar [00:13:34]:
Yeah, no, no, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anatoliy [00:13:36]:
Like, for example, like, I'm sure this stuff does happen, for example, to elder at time to time.

Eldar [00:13:42]:
Wait, but elder is part of elderism too? Yes.

Anatoliy [00:13:45]:
Yeah, but generally.

Eldar [00:13:46]:
Yeah, generally.

Anatoliy [00:13:47]:
Probably not because that's an extent. Like, like his, what you would call, for example, not thinking states are actually, like, was thought of and certain decisions were just made that there's just automated, like, processes happening.

Eldar [00:14:00]:
Wow.

Anatoliy [00:14:01]:
That, like, just lead to, like, like, things that he wants.

Eldar [00:14:05]:
This guy's. But they're talking about right now. Yeah. Good.

Anatoliy [00:14:08]:
Yeah, yeah, it's just like, like, when you do.

Mike [00:14:10]:
When you coffee, I think you fall on sleep.

Eldar [00:14:13]:
Philip has his own stories on Boston. Sorry. Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:14:16]:
I just think, like.

Eldar [00:14:18]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:14:18]:
They're just an extension of, like, who we are.

Eldar [00:14:22]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:14:22]:
And ideally, you have those automated states, like, be like, what you are when you are self reflecting.

Eldar [00:14:28]:
Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. I definitely agree with that.

Mike [00:14:31]:
I think he said exactly the same thing, but also said absolutely nothing.

Eldar [00:14:34]:
No, no, no. But, uh, he. You know, I think that you were.

Anatoliy [00:14:37]:
Phrasing as, like, that's not who you are. Like, that.

Eldar [00:14:40]:
That's. That wants to show the separation behind the two, which is fine, because now he's. Yeah, I think the problem with the word you said, damn, I forgot. But, yeah, I know why he said.

Mike [00:14:52]:
Not who I am. I'm a social person. That's what. That's a separation.

Eldar [00:14:55]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mike [00:14:56]:
In the moment, I forget all that stuff. Yeah, but he's saying that's not who I am. I'm not this social person.

Eldar [00:15:02]:
No, I think. I think he's saying that this still extension of your belief system that carries over and what you actually want to be doing. Yeah. So are you saying.

Oleg C [00:15:09]:
Wait, okay, so what is, like. Is a common denominator, the impulsiveness. You're saying we can all have it, but maybe I'd be impulsive about, I don't know, let's say, buying a dog because I like dogs, but Mike would be about booking a trip. Or are you saying that the impulsiveness itself is, like.

Anatoliy [00:15:24]:
Yeah, I don't think of it as, like. Like, impulsive at all. Like, I'm thinking about it more as, like. Like, these thoughts we have and these. These things that happen to us, like, they're just an extension of who we are, and they're not, like, a separate entity, because when it happens and we don't like what happens afterwards, I think we're like, no, like, that's not me.

Eldar [00:15:43]:
Right?

Anatoliy [00:15:43]:
Like, like, I'm me right now, the one who's reflecting, thinking, and making, like, good, logical choices.

Eldar [00:15:49]:
But.

Anatoliy [00:15:50]:
But I don't think that they're two separate, like, in, like, individuals. I think they're just an extension of who you are when you get good. I think I, like, like, what you do or what you want and what you want to happen. That automatic state, that. That buzzing state, I think, is the extension of who you are that, like, happens in the right way. So then you don't have, like, a freaking amount of those moments where you're just like, oh, damn. Like, you know, that ended up like this, but I wanted it to be this.

Oleg C [00:16:17]:
Or like saying all the calculating thinking just happens really quickly. So you still.

Eldar [00:16:21]:
Because.

Anatoliy [00:16:22]:
Yeah, because that would be who you are to. And then that process, he's almost, like, automated. So that when you are in this buzzing state, like, good things happen to you.

Eldar [00:16:30]:
For example, would you say. So would you say that for the people who, like, what do they call them? Analogies. Right. It's like having a hammer. You could break a window or you can hammer a nail. Sure. Depending on what you use it for. Right.

Oleg C [00:16:46]:
I think Phil.

Eldar [00:16:47]:
Right, right. Yeah. Right. Because it sounds like it's almost always.

Oleg C [00:16:52]:
Fuck on my analogies, bro. So I gotta, you know, this is.

Eldar [00:16:55]:
Uh, like, it's almost like, okay, Mike has this thing or a tool in his box. Right. That can be either turned on for good or can turned on for bad. Yeah.

Mike [00:17:04]:
I mean, I'm talking many, many podcasts.

Eldar [00:17:07]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:17:08]:
I said I don't think there's anything that's inherently good or bad. It's only the way that you engage it.

Eldar [00:17:11]:
That's right.

Mike [00:17:12]:
So I'm engaging in a way that afterwards I feel that this is bad. Correct. In the moment, I feel it's good, but ultimately, I'd like to have it where it's a good buzzing words for a productive reason.

Eldar [00:17:22]:
Yeah. And that, you know, agreed. And I think that's what Tony's saying to.

Anatoliy [00:17:27]:
No, but I don't think that it's a, like, it's a. It's a matter of having good or bad. Like, I. I think it's more of what Mike is saying. Like, it's not good or bad, but.

Eldar [00:17:36]:
That'S what we're saying. Yeah. Agreed upon that. It's not good or bad, it's just what is. But the application of the. The person who's doing the application is incorrect. Whoever has those decision making processes. Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:17:47]:
And, like, a core. And, like.

Eldar [00:17:48]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:17:49]:
Those then extend to automatic ones.

Eldar [00:17:50]:
Yeah, yeah.

Anatoliy [00:17:51]:
If you change them at a core, I think over time they will become good.

Eldar [00:17:56]:
Yes. And useful. Yeah. And that. In that type of energy.

Oleg C [00:17:59]:
So besides impulsiveness also sounds like another synonym is like, getting carried away. So. Totally. Wouldn't you say that somebody, let's say, developed, who has these things more on autopilot sometimes does just get carried away? Like, I'm sure we've heard people talk about, I don't know, whatever could be podcasts, documentaries, somebody who has it all together, a pretty balanced person. But they got carried away with, I don't know, something they were doing business or, I mean, relationship to me, it doesn't make sense.

Anatoliy [00:18:27]:
You can't be, like, describing a balanced person that gets carried away.

Oleg C [00:18:33]:
I mean, is somebody that's balanced always 100% being, like, authentic or whatever you want to call it all the time? Is there anyone like that?

Anatoliy [00:18:44]:
Well, if you're blanking them as a balanced person now, if you're saying that they have balance in specific feel, like, like, particular, then then you could say that. But if you're blanking them as a balanced person, I mean, to me at least, I would definitely take that as, like, person exist.

Eldar [00:19:01]:
I think you're talking then you're talking about an enlightened person. Yeah.

Oleg C [00:19:06]:
Do they exit? Like, everybody makes mistakes, right? As they would.

Eldar [00:19:10]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:19:11]:
It doesn't always act the most optimal hundred percent. But I think then they would argue that actually being, like, the optimal way of being is when you're sometimes acting in optimally as well.

Eldar [00:19:23]:
Sure, you can say that, but, yeah, he's right about the fact, like, if you said that there's a specific practice that you say, he's balanced or not, then you can say, okay, we can isolate it. But generally speaking, balance, it's a it's a big blanket. You know what I mean?

Oleg C [00:19:39]:
I guess somebody who's learned to, like, take all things into account and get carried. Not all things, but, you know, you.

Mike [00:19:52]:
Gotta give a good percentage. A person is bound 90% of the time.

Oleg C [00:19:55]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:19:57]:
I don't know if that's gonna help. Yeah. Okay. So so, okay, what's what is our problem? What's the question?

Mike [00:20:04]:
So mirror to Olive.

Eldar [00:20:05]:
Olive, do you understand what what issue Mike is having?

Oleg C [00:20:09]:
I mean, I feel like a lot of times you you guys have these very vague, abstract issues when you talk about him, like, the topic changes.

Mike [00:20:16]:
A little conversation. Okay, Phil, can you give him something?

Anatoliy [00:20:21]:
I think you might have to order.

Eldar [00:20:22]:
Like, a waffle fries in as well, right? Yeah.

Phillip [00:20:26]:
Like, my example was the walking one. So for me, it was you guys asking me, like, hey, do you, like do you really like walking? I was like, yeah, it's great. You know, I'm getting benefits from it. I'm exercising. And then it was like, yeah, but, like, do you actually like it? Are you putting thought into it? Or are you just, like, doing this thing because you're on autopilot? And I came to the conclusion. I realized, like, I was just on autopilot, like, doing this thing. And there was, like, a pride that I was associating with, like, oh, I've been doing this for, like, years. And now I'm keeping it up.

Phillip [00:20:58]:
And it was like this thing I wanted to keep doing. It was like, it was nice. Now, maybe a byproduct of this is, yeah, you exercise and you're out of the house and things like this. But then when I analyzed it more, I realized that, okay, I'm not allowing myself to sit home and watch Netflix or a show because I'm associating with laziness. So how does that example go? Go with walking? Well, if my work week is done on a Friday and on Saturday, I can have a whole day. I can just sit home and bins a show. And I'm going to associate that with being a lazy guy. Then I'm going to choose going for a walk because it's going to get me out of the apartment.

Phillip [00:21:33]:
I'm going to do something, quote unquote productive, and then I won't be a lazy person. So in the beginning, I think it was really, really good, and it got me out of the house. But I wasn't listening to my body. I wasn't asking myself, do I really want to do this? And I don't think I was taking, like, a really healthy approach to it, because once you're on autopilot and you just start walking to walk, it becomes unhealthy. I remember I was walking with Mike, and I wasn't even letting him take a break. I was like, oh, let's just keep going. I just wanted to keep moving. It wasn't even about exercise anymore.

Phillip [00:22:03]:
I just didn't want to stop because I was running away from the idea of possibly being this lazy guy that can just chill and hang out for a second. So I was literally buzzing the whole time in the city, and it wasn't productive at all. So now, since I've, like, examined that, I realize I'm allowing myself. I can watch Game of Thrones again. I was sitting home. I was rewatching it. I feel really good. I probably haven't been to the city more than maybe like once in the last, like, three weeks.

Phillip [00:22:30]:
And I feel really good. And it's not like I feel like I'm missing out or anything. And it's. I think we came to the conclusion, either last podcast or in our conversations, that it's about being more fluid instead of being more rigid with yourself. So I'm asking my body, hey, if I went for a walk during the week, if I exercise, if I feel like I got all my work done, why can't I just take a Saturday and hang out instead of buzzing which is, to me, turning it on autopilot, not asking yourself how you feel, what makes you happy, and just doing something to do it. So that was my example.

Eldar [00:23:02]:
All right, cool. And I think this is perfect that you said this. I think it's a good example because it's actually tied to a very specific belief system that you have about being lazy. Lazy, yeah. And the reason why you turned that on, that buzzing about walking in the way you walk, specifically. Right. Like you said, you're just, like, on autopilot, just going.

Phillip [00:23:23]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:23:23]:
You're not even considering your friend, who might not be on the same pace. Yeah. Right. So you're not, at that moment, at least, you might not be being a good friend. Right. But you attached it to saying that. Look, the reason why I was doing this is because I have a very strong belief system about not being lazy. Yeah.

Eldar [00:23:41]:
In Mike's case, we don't really know why he's buzzing.

Phillip [00:23:46]:
Yeah, well, mine was lazy. And then also with the pandemic, I. It was. There was a health component to it where I knew, like, if I was gonna sit home, I guess it's attached to lazy. But I was saying, if I'm moving on a Saturday, after a full week, I'm going to be more healthy, so I'm not going to. I'm going to be less prone to get sick. I'll have a stronger immune system.

Eldar [00:24:04]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:24:04]:
And I will. I won't be as lazy because I'm.

Eldar [00:24:06]:
Going to sit home.

Phillip [00:24:07]:
So it's like a two prong effect. Yeah, but I'd say those are the two factors that went into it that I held onto the whole time.

Eldar [00:24:12]:
Interesting. Yeah. Okay.

Oleg C [00:24:15]:
It sounds like we're talking about impulsiveness, then getting carried away, and now this is, like, just. No, but doing stuff that's unexamined.

Anatoliy [00:24:22]:
Where do you see, like, impulsiveness?

Oleg C [00:24:25]:
Just, like, going by impulse, like booking a trip, hey, I want to go book, you know, without, like, thinking, like, oh, maybe I should go with someone else, whatever. Just kind of like, you know, you want. You got an idea, you got, like, really excited about, and you just kind of rolled that wave. That's what I see about impulses and carrot. Getting carried away is kind of like, I think you get stuck in a certain, you know, I mean, it's pretty synonymous, I guess, with that. And then Phil's example to me sounds more, I mean, it could be, I guess, put in that, but it's more like just living unexamined. I think we talked about when the last time I was here Phil was talking about the walking Game of Thrones. Sounds like oligism, by the way.

Oleg C [00:25:11]:
Game of Thrones. Check. New York City x walking a lot. Check.

Eldar [00:25:15]:
Nice. Good job.

Mike [00:25:17]:
Nice.

Eldar [00:25:17]:
We have something in common.

Oleg C [00:25:19]:
Absolutely. Oh, no, it's funny. I used to walk in Farallon. Like, I would walk, like a night walks.

Eldar [00:25:24]:
Are you that guy with the dead cats on the rope? Oh, no, no.

Oleg C [00:25:28]:
I would go. I would meet up with a friend and, like, walk because it would make me feel like, oh, I'm finally doing something. I'm outside, I'm with people, and maybe I'll help. I'll get better sleep. Like, kind of like you were talking about. But also I remember after a while, we do, like, fucking 4 hours. Like, it would be like, 02:00 a.m. We started walking out like, 10:00 p.m.

Oleg C [00:25:46]:
And I'd be like, yo, I could just keep going, you know.

Eldar [00:25:51]:
So I.

Oleg C [00:25:52]:
Don'T know, is that buzzing or. That's like, I feel like that's more.

Mike [00:25:55]:
I think you have to go to the next part, which is the why people do it. Why people scared to slow down, you know, like rushing, running to or running from.

Eldar [00:26:04]:
Yeah, I think that he did that for himself. He, you know, you helped with your help, you know, by asking the questions that you did. He actually went and examined that what he was doing, and he's like, wait a second. Why am I doing this? That's, you know, that's actually what I think you'd need. And I think that's the same. Same probably remedy to any type of impulsive behavior.

Oleg C [00:26:22]:
I think the difference, just like in the examples for me, is, like, Phil decided to examine.

Eldar [00:26:31]:
No, no.

Oleg C [00:26:31]:
Reflect on.

Eldar [00:26:32]:
No, you would.

Oleg C [00:26:33]:
What he was doing regularly in his life. Well, Mike.

Eldar [00:26:36]:
No, no, no, no. You would have to go back and say the decision making process during him getting scared of getting sick and then attaching himself to not being lazy, and then impulsively, he said, you know what? I'm gonna start doing this without examining what I'm doing. So there was a. There was. There was an original.

Oleg C [00:26:53]:
You mean being reactive, correct.

Eldar [00:26:56]:
Yeah, he was reactive. Same thing. Maybe here there might be a reaction to something where he's like, yo, I'm bored. I want to go travel. Fuck, I want to go travel. You know, I mean, I'm bored. So.

Oleg C [00:27:05]:
So someone yells at you, you yell right back. Correct, right, correct.

Eldar [00:27:08]:
So I think he had that in the beginning, which then transpired to then a very persistent action for long periods of time on examined action, which then is like, he challenged. And then he went all the way back and said, yeah, wait a second. How am I lazy? I do everything properly. You know what I mean? I'm not lazy at all. What's wrong with me looking, watching my show 1 hour or 2 hours, whatever. My favorite show, and enjoying myself and giving myself a break? There's nothing wrong with that. He re examined that. Now he's like, yo, yeah, I don't have to do this.

Eldar [00:27:37]:
This is ridiculous. And now, in turn, he's saying that now he's, you know, the testimonial is, I'm happy.

Mike [00:27:43]:
Right?

Eldar [00:27:43]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:27:44]:
Well, the motivations for those actions definitely seem to be, like, built on sand. Oh, sure, sure. Meaning, like, if you were doing it for other reasons, maybe it would be the right thing, right? That's kind of what you examined. You're like, why am I doing this? And it wasn't good reasons.

Phillip [00:27:58]:
So I found that, like, another remedy for that is that instead of just bottling it up and doing it one day a week, now I'm sprinkling it into, like, a little bit every day. We're going for a walk. Maybe I work out in the morning. Maybe I don't. But my week, I'm moving a lot more. I'm going to an office. I'm not just in my apartment working remote. So now instead of, like, thinking, okay, I got to do 20,000 steps and 10 miles and then three on the bike on Saturday.

Phillip [00:28:23]:
And then, like, the rest of the week, I'm doing maybe little to nothing. Now I'm sprinkling a little bit here, a little bit there, and that's good. So, to me, like, that's my health and, like, that's my wellness there. And then in terms of, like, the lazy aspect, like, I'm saying, okay, like, instead of just maybe sitting down on a Saturday and watching, like, nine episodes like an idiot, like, maybe I'll watch a half an episode, like, maybe, like, a couple days a week, maybe watch a little bit of sports, and, like, every night, just, like, a little bit. I did the same thing with food. Allow myself to have a little bit of ice cream, but I have green juice every day. Protein shake. I do, like, pretty much mostly healthy.

Phillip [00:28:56]:
But now I'm allowing myself to eat snacks, and I feel like I don't feel bad about it. My weight's staying the same. I feel good. So, like, everything that I'm doing, I'm able to do now.

Oleg C [00:29:06]:
You pooping well.

Phillip [00:29:07]:
You poop very well. I'm not as stressed I'm very happy. Work's going well. My relationships are going well.

Eldar [00:29:13]:
You just passed his benchmark, by the way of pooping. Well, yeah. He's running in baby wipes every fucking morning, dude. I have.

Phillip [00:29:22]:
I go through, like, a pack a week.

Eldar [00:29:24]:
Probably him. Every morning. Yeah.

Phillip [00:29:27]:
You ever use the baby wipe? I mean, you're a poop specialist.

Oleg C [00:29:29]:
Maybe, like, wipe my hands.

Eldar [00:29:31]:
She showers, but after day. Yeah. Okay. No, I know. I don't know. He watched him.

Oleg C [00:29:37]:
What am I, fucking Bougie and shit? I'm from. I'm a commoner.

Mike [00:29:40]:
You're from Kazakhstan.

Oleg C [00:29:42]:
We shit where the cows shit.

Eldar [00:29:44]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:29:44]:
But, like, I also view, like, do.

Eldar [00:29:46]:
You agree that he has a good example that actually is tied to a very specific belief that he had that then was challenged by him, and then he stopped the repetitive behavior, and I don't think he can engage in the same behavior the way he used to without examining it. Without feeling like an idiot.

Anatoliy [00:30:00]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:30:00]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:30:01]:
But I also think that, like, it's coupled with, like, two things. I think that, like, whenever any of this kind of stuff happens to us, like, I. Like, I view it as, like. Like, when you reflect on that, like, the only thing I think that you can call yourself is an idiot right now. Like, you. You were stupid in that realm of, like, of that stuff.

Eldar [00:30:22]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:30:22]:
And then you have a stupid person in that realm of charge making decisions.

Eldar [00:30:27]:
Yeah. Right.

Anatoliy [00:30:28]:
On those things. So, like, it's gonna come out in that kind of way where you're gonna be doing something that's, like, not examined or something that's not going to end well. And then, like, I also don't think, like, just, like, the only answer is, like, to, you know, to, like, slow down for it, for example.

Eldar [00:30:47]:
Right.

Anatoliy [00:30:48]:
I think that, like, it's an acquired skill to be good at, like, the. Like, the, like. Like, asking the right questions and having, like.

Eldar [00:30:58]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:30:59]:
Just, like, being good, I guess, at reflecting and thinking before making decisions. Like. Like.

Eldar [00:31:07]:
Right.

Anatoliy [00:31:07]:
Because, like, if you're stupid, but let's say you're smart enough to slow down, you still might not ask the right questions or think about the right things to make the proper decision.

Eldar [00:31:20]:
Right.

Anatoliy [00:31:21]:
Because, like, that, we get the same feeling everyone afterwards. Like, you kind of feel like you're an idiot.

Eldar [00:31:27]:
Right.

Anatoliy [00:31:28]:
Like that. Just, like, a universal.

Eldar [00:31:30]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:31:31]:
Feeling.

Eldar [00:31:32]:
Yeah. Oh. I mean, I think part of that has to happen, has to happen because the person who made the decision in the first place carried a level of arrogance into the decision making. So the remedy or the cure has to be at the end that combats that humble stupidity.

Anatoliy [00:31:51]:
Naturally carry arrogance.

Eldar [00:31:53]:
If you feel stupid at the end of the decision, you finally like, oh, shit, I'm an idiot. The reason why you're feeling that in the first place is because you arrogantly made a choice somewhere in the beginning. Yes.

Anatoliy [00:32:04]:
The stupidity carry arrogance. Naturally the result of.

Eldar [00:32:09]:
If you, if the result of you. Right. Finally calling yourself stupid. That's humility.

Anatoliy [00:32:14]:
That's not, no, no, I said that, but I'm saying, like, if you're stupid, are you naturally arrogant?

Eldar [00:32:21]:
If the result was stupid, yes, naturally we were arrogant.

Anatoliy [00:32:24]:
Like, like, arrogance is carried with stupidity. Like stupidity carries.

Eldar [00:32:28]:
It's the an arrogance. It's the antidote. Yeah. And it, and the faster you get to calling yourself stupid, the fast. I think you, uh, re examine the strong decisions that you did that took place in that in the first place. And I'm pretty sure if he does, right, he's like, fuck it. I'm done with this. Probably.

Eldar [00:32:45]:
Right, with the sickness, with the shit. You know, he probably was a little bit angry in the process as well when he was making those decisions. Right. They were rash. Yeah. And, and I think that there was level of arrogance there where it's like, I'm gonna do this, and this is gonna work, and fuck everybody else kind of thing. Yeah. Yes.

Anatoliy [00:33:00]:
I think afterwards you can call it rash when the moment. It's not rash.

Eldar [00:33:06]:
You yourself will never call it rash. Absolutely not. You will. You will call it, I'm backing this decision 100%. Right. Yeah. And that's it. Yeah.

Eldar [00:33:14]:
Especially if you alone thinking this. Yes. Elderism. Yeah. Then it's all for you.

Anatoliy [00:33:19]:
Yeah, that, that, that's what I was saying when, when Oleg was talking about, like, like, impulsiveness. Like, I'm not viewing this kind of stuff as, like, impulsive.

Eldar [00:33:28]:
Hmm.

Anatoliy [00:33:29]:
Like, I don't think that.

Eldar [00:33:30]:
Okay.

Oleg C [00:33:33]:
I just think it's also important to, like, keep in mind the caveat that.

Eldar [00:33:38]:
Keep an open mind.

Oleg C [00:33:40]:
Yeah, sure. But, like, you know.

Eldar [00:33:43]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:33:43]:
A lot of people, they're stuck actually doing the opposite way. Like me. Right. Analysis, paralysis. I thought I was, like, you know, like, one of the more few people, but it's actually, if you listen, like, any kind of, I don't know, books, self development, anything. Like, there's constantly one big thing people do is they get stuck, and they're, like, analyzing, what's fear? Fear to make a decision.

Eldar [00:34:09]:
Right.

Oleg C [00:34:09]:
And as decisions become more complicated, we're faced with more decisions, and you're just getting burnt out. People are afraid to make this. So sometimes it's courageous to just make a decision and just go with it. Like, whatever, you know, even if you've seen some red flags, you go with it, because, like, a lot of times, that's the end to end to do, to, like, stagnation and not going anywhere.

Eldar [00:34:31]:
Right? So.

Oleg C [00:34:31]:
So people do it. Like, let's say. Let's say it was me. Me just booking a trip and going probably is a healthy thing for me to do.

Eldar [00:34:38]:
And, like, well, that's because. Yeah, that's because you're on the other spectrum. You're on the other side completely. He's on the other side completely. He had. He doesn't have the same fears you have. He doesn't suffer from that. So he has the ability to just do shit like this.

Eldar [00:34:49]:
Those things that he's doing is moving mountains for you. You know what I'm saying?

Oleg C [00:34:54]:
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Mike [00:34:55]:
You have the opposite.

Oleg C [00:34:56]:
So you were applying this to healthy.

Eldar [00:34:59]:
Dose of you, and you need a.

Oleg C [00:35:00]:
Healthy dose of blindness to, like, gen pop that just everybody needs.

Eldar [00:35:04]:
Like, oh, I think everybody.

Oleg C [00:35:06]:
Everybody struggles with. With this unobserved, um, impulse.

Eldar [00:35:11]:
I think in certain areas, some do. Yeah. And if you examine the stuff that you quote, unquote, like, I think that's. That's where you're gonna find yourself to be. That buzzer, like hiking or some other shit, you know, that you might like and stuff like that, you might maybe.

Oleg C [00:35:24]:
Going with the most intuitive thing for you and just reactively going with that each time that's maybe buzzing.

Eldar [00:35:31]:
That's.

Oleg C [00:35:32]:
For me, it would be just choosing to look it up instead of.

Eldar [00:35:35]:
Correct.

Oleg C [00:35:36]:
Correct, Mike. It would research, look it up.

Eldar [00:35:38]:
Correct. That's a very good example. He's right. His over researching, he's gonna say, I need a bike.

Oleg C [00:35:44]:
I got what I need.

Eldar [00:35:45]:
I need about a phone. Right. He's gonna go and do open a hundred tabs on his, you know, Google, and he's gonna do crazy research. And at the end of it, he wanted me buy it.

Oleg C [00:35:55]:
Thank God. That iPhone is pretty much the standard phone.

Eldar [00:35:58]:
Okay, sorry for the bad.

Oleg C [00:35:59]:
Exact. No, because I never. I just. IPhone. If I need a phone, I just buy the next one. I remember before that became the standard, I would be like, oh, Nokia, Samsung, all this gay european shit. Now I'm an american. You know, like, yeah, okay.

Eldar [00:36:15]:
No, but we're rugged. So I was thinking.

Phillip [00:36:18]:
I was thinking about the impulsive thing.

Oleg C [00:36:21]:
I think what happens is, Eldar, have the Tesla.

Phillip [00:36:24]:
It does start as something that is impulsive.

Eldar [00:36:27]:
Mm hmm.

Phillip [00:36:27]:
You are. You are starting this thing, but once you do this thing consistently, it becomes a behavior. I think it's. It's the long term impulsiveness. I guess you can label it routine, and in my head, routine and discipline was something that I had, like, a really big belief in.

Eldar [00:36:44]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:36:44]:
And then we had to cut that down. So I think that.

Anatoliy [00:36:47]:
Yeah, but where's the impulsive like, that, the.

Phillip [00:36:52]:
Originally, you have a pulse of impulsive decision.

Eldar [00:36:55]:
Yeah. Because originally, because you're so fed up.

Phillip [00:36:58]:
The root of it.

Eldar [00:36:59]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:37:00]:
You know what I'm saying? So in the beginning, when I first started it. Right. I said I made an association with, okay, I'm not gonna be sick anymore.

Eldar [00:37:07]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:37:07]:
And I. I'm not gonna be a lazy person.

Eldar [00:37:10]:
Like, lazy people equal sick people and lazy people.

Phillip [00:37:12]:
So, like, what am I gonna do? And I'm going to city. Yeah.

Eldar [00:37:15]:
So.

Anatoliy [00:37:15]:
So labeling impulsiveness as, like, a wrong, fast decision or that's what it is.

Eldar [00:37:22]:
Yeah. Like, this. Maybe it's more like system, which is probably incorrect and examined. And yes, on top of it is.

Anatoliy [00:37:29]:
Actually the opposite, though. I think, like, the, like, like, like, the way I'm hearing it, I feel, like, is being talked about. Like, the impulsiveness is, like, where it starts and then, like, things happen. I think that, like, you're a particular way as a person and then particular, maybe impulsive actions.

Eldar [00:37:49]:
But you can say that about anything. Yeah, but, yeah, but, like, we want. Yeah, okay, fine. I agree with that. Yeah. The reason why you're impulsive in the first place, because of the way you are. Yes, I get it. Yes, yes.

Phillip [00:37:58]:
Yeah, but that's, like, the base of, like, any human being.

Eldar [00:38:00]:
Right?

Phillip [00:38:00]:
So, like, you're gonna have a base going into this thing, but something's gonna change it. What we're talking about is the behavior of whoever you are. Like, whatever your mindset is, you're gonna make a decision. So the decision that you're gonna make at this point, in these examples, you were talking about taking a trip. Mine was saying that I'm not gonna sit home and I'm gonna start walking, going through the city. It first started as something like this, but then you're probably gonna be looking at multiple things after this. Maybe it turns into something else. For me, it started with walking.

Phillip [00:38:27]:
Then it was maybe restaurants. Maybe it's girls. Maybe it's, like, overeating. Like, it can be a bunch of things.

Anatoliy [00:38:32]:
In Mike's example, where. Where's the pulse of this?

Phillip [00:38:36]:
He just randomly said, I wanted to just go on a trip.

Eldar [00:38:39]:
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:38:40]:
I don't think that, I mean, like.

Oleg C [00:38:43]:
I think it's maybe not impossible. Maybe it's reactivity. Like, you react without examining.

Phillip [00:38:50]:
That's, like, the definition of impulsive.

Anatoliy [00:38:52]:
What is.

Mike [00:38:53]:
But why we get.

Oleg C [00:38:53]:
No, Mike is a definition of impulsive. But I think totally saying maybe impulsive is not the overarching.

Phillip [00:38:59]:
Yeah, but that's, that's why I'm saying this.

Eldar [00:39:01]:
So I'm saying, no, the reason, like, Mike. There's a reason why Mike is an impulsive person.

Phillip [00:39:05]:
Yeah, but that's, like, irrelevant to this.

Anatoliy [00:39:07]:
How that, that part of what Mike was saying is all of a sudden.

Phillip [00:39:12]:
He just booked a trip. I want to go to Italy.

Anatoliy [00:39:13]:
Yeah, but I don't think that that's what happened. He write, you were saying that you were looking stuff up, you were getting excited, you know, like. Like things were happening prior to booking the trip.

Eldar [00:39:23]:
Right. I would probably say maybe you were bored always. Yeah. Probably started with boredom, with loneliness. Yes. Yes. To me, maybe missing out. Impulsive.

Anatoliy [00:39:32]:
Impulsiveness was feel like him maybe feeling bored.

Eldar [00:39:36]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:39:36]:
And then instead of, like, asking, like, why or figuring out why, the impulsiveness was to do something correct, like that, to me, was impulsive booking the trip, I guarantee you he's watched more YouTube videos about where he was going and what he was gonna do then, like, I'll watch a lifetime about going.

Oleg C [00:39:55]:
So maybe it's not impulsive. It's like reactivity is more of the word. He's just reacting to something. You have an anxiety or an emotion, and you try to alleviate it with this thing. It's a very reactive nature. Instead of examining. So it's not impossible. Impulsive is like, if he's literally just, like, he went to Italy yesterday, just not.

Anatoliy [00:40:15]:
Yeah, like, I would have you impulsive as, like, we're on the way to chicken train, which we can go after this. So time, actually, I'm not going to eat there. I'm gonna book a flight right now to Italy. And then he goes that to me, like, I would lose my shit now if that actually happened.

Phillip [00:40:34]:
Component to it, that it's not impulsive. Disagree with you completely. He still has impulsive behavior. And you were impulsive and actually canceling the trip as well. You had impulsive behavior to me from the beginning to the end. I had impulsive behavior. I think we're getting caught up on the definition. It doesn't matter.

Phillip [00:40:49]:
But I think the point is, I.

Eldar [00:40:51]:
Think it's nonetheless, it's a component of buzzing.

Phillip [00:40:53]:
It's. Yeah, it's all comprising the buzzing.

Eldar [00:40:55]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:40:55]:
The reaction just feel like.

Mike [00:40:58]:
No, but you guys know the words doesn't matter. I think we're trying to get to the core. Why it's. No, no, but, like, doesn't matter what the. What the symptoms are. You, like, I think we get any doctors sit here.

Eldar [00:41:08]:
Yeah, but we're getting there.

Anatoliy [00:41:09]:
No, but I just feel like the way I'm at least, like it's falling on my ears is that when I hear, like, the way we're talking about it, impulsive. Like, I feel like it almost downplays, like, the scenario. It's like an accident. Like accidental flight book. Yeah, this, like.

Eldar [00:41:25]:
No, I agree.

Oleg C [00:41:25]:
I agree.

Eldar [00:41:26]:
That's a problem that I'm definitely not trying to.

Oleg C [00:41:28]:
I see. Totally point. It's like a switch right now instead of like a thing over.

Anatoliy [00:41:33]:
That's what I'm saying. Like, I think the impulsive thing is him having a feeling and him not examining that feeling and going.

Eldar [00:41:39]:
Doing the research and doing all the. Doing a bunch of shit. He did a.

Anatoliy [00:41:42]:
He did not do any impulsive moves when it comes to book.

Phillip [00:41:45]:
But it's delayed impulsiveness.

Eldar [00:41:46]:
Yeah, sure, sure.

Phillip [00:41:52]:
Eloquent with, like, a stupid definition we.

Oleg C [00:41:54]:
Gotta call up on. You guys are being dumb as fuck.

Phillip [00:41:56]:
Like, he's doing. He's a delay. You're having delayed impulsiveness. You're like, oh, I'm doing. That's probably even worse. Like, you're doing all the research, doing all this stuff, and then you're still not asking yourself, what are you doing? So you're just delaying the result. And then the result, you came to the conclusion, like, I don't want to do this. Like, I'm not even with my friends.

Phillip [00:42:14]:
Like, now I'm going to be by myself and I don't want to do this. So, like, then you. Then you cancel the trip. To me, that's all. That's all compiled into impulsiveness. You could have went on the trip immediately. You would have defined it as impulsive. Fine.

Phillip [00:42:26]:
So to me, I don't care if you're doing research and then you go on the trip. I think it's starting from a seed of impulsive behavior. And then just because you're doing research and other stuff, I'm not calling it something else. I'm calling it impulsive. So to me, canceling the trip, starting the trip's impulsive. But what happens is if you're doing this over time with my example for one, two, three years, then it becomes routine. I think when impulsiveness becomes a routine, then it's the autopilot, and then you can't even examine it at all.

Mike [00:42:53]:
Impulsiveness is based on a value system. You started the walking because values dictate.

Phillip [00:42:58]:
Walking based off of my value system. Yeah, but you can say that about anything.

Mike [00:43:04]:
Like your value system led you to act in an impulsive way.

Eldar [00:43:07]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:43:07]:
Like me.

Mike [00:43:08]:
Your values are.

Phillip [00:43:10]:
Yeah, you have to have a certain type of value system underneath for the. For you to accept that behavior. I think. I think impulsive comes with extreme decision making. It's either you're gonna say yes or you're gonna say no. I would definitely say that I'm an extreme person.

Oleg C [00:43:24]:
So that I think in that way, it's not impulsive. Actually, I think the common thread between you guys is reactivity in the way that. Cause I think it's clearer to me now, is, like, you, for example, you're like, whatever, COVID and laziness, and you're like, I gotta get rid of that. I need a solution.

Eldar [00:43:41]:
Bam.

Oleg C [00:43:41]:
My solution is this. You just react to the first easy thing that comes to you. And I'm not saying that what you're doing is easy. It's just like, it's such an easy. It's like a clo. Like, it's a solution that's, like, on a shelf right near you.

Eldar [00:43:53]:
Just.

Oleg C [00:43:53]:
Oh, walking. Like, it just. Just like mike, the first.

Eldar [00:43:57]:
He.

Oleg C [00:43:57]:
Reactively. I think the value system is us. I mean, I don't know, like, reaching for the thing that seems like the quickest, easiest answer, the most obvious answer. Maybe that's. You know what I mean? So that's like you being reactive. So you reacted to not wanting these things, you know, to be sick or to be lazy by saying, like, okay, I know. What else? Solve it. Oh, walking.

Oleg C [00:44:20]:
That's an easy one. And you just started walking, and then it became part of your routine, whatever. You just never took the time to examine it.

Phillip [00:44:27]:
Yeah, I think we're just saying reactive versus impulsive.

Mike [00:44:31]:
So, yeah, I think the wording you guys using, it's, you know, maybe we.

Eldar [00:44:35]:
Blanket it as buzzing everything you get into. And the result of it is we called it bosses.

Anatoliy [00:44:42]:
Are you just more saying it, like, in. In the way I think it's important we know what's going on.

Eldar [00:44:47]:
We agree, right?

Anatoliy [00:44:48]:
Like that. And also, I had a question on a impulsive is impulsive.

Oleg C [00:44:56]:
Phil's guarding that word, bro. He's gonna fucking attack you.

Anatoliy [00:45:00]:
Yeah, right. Is impulsive like a blanket term? Right? Like, is it a blanket?

Eldar [00:45:08]:
Turn that.

Anatoliy [00:45:08]:
Like, if I'm being impulsive and for example, Philip is being impulsive. Can you always say that we're doing two of the same action, or is impulsive, like, is a scale up or down based on what kind of person you are? Like, I would say, like.

Eldar [00:45:23]:
Right, right.

Anatoliy [00:45:24]:
Like, you know what I'm saying?

Eldar [00:45:26]:
Not really, but, yeah, I think it sounds like, could it impose the same thing? That's the same thing.

Anatoliy [00:45:31]:
Okay, so, like, impulsive behavior for one individual cannot be, like, regular behavior for another.

Eldar [00:45:37]:
No, no.

Anatoliy [00:45:38]:
So impulsive is impulsive across.

Eldar [00:45:39]:
Then you have to change the definition.

Phillip [00:45:40]:
Of everything and everything of all time for everybody.

Eldar [00:45:44]:
Yeah.

Phillip [00:45:44]:
Because we're saying. Or breaking down the bare bones minimum of, like, human behavior, and we're basically saying we have to have a common definition. There has to be a truth definition. We're all not agreeing on the truth definition, but at some level, somebody's making a decision.

Eldar [00:45:57]:
Right.

Phillip [00:45:58]:
They have a certain type of value system. I think we're gonna agree it's that me and Mike in these, both examples are being, I would say, extreme.

Eldar [00:46:06]:
Right.

Phillip [00:46:06]:
Whether you're making a decision saying, I want to go on a trip and do research.

Mike [00:46:09]:
Yes. If you guys listen to the whole story, you probably wouldn't think it's very impulsive.

Oleg C [00:46:14]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:46:15]:
It wasn't like I just decided to go.

Eldar [00:46:18]:
I'm saying.

Oleg C [00:46:19]:
Yeah, no, he did preface it with, I did a lot of research.

Eldar [00:46:22]:
I looked into it, you guys.

Mike [00:46:23]:
I guess I. I'm into, like, this credit card stuff with the points. I'm into it. I have a person that I told about it. You talk about these things once in a while.

Eldar [00:46:32]:
Yeah. Right.

Phillip [00:46:33]:
See, but that's prolonged.

Eldar [00:46:34]:
That's. That's.

Phillip [00:46:35]:
It doesn't matter to me.

Eldar [00:46:36]:
Yeah, long.

Phillip [00:46:37]:
That's prolonged extremism. Yours is just putting more time.

Mike [00:46:42]:
But I'm not serving. I don't think that's.

Anatoliy [00:46:44]:
But then it can't be impulsive.

Eldar [00:46:45]:
Right? Well, there is an impulsive action somewhere. Yeah.

Oleg C [00:46:50]:
Also.

Eldar [00:46:52]:
No, but he's right. But it's all.

Phillip [00:46:54]:
It starts with the being extreme and impulsive.

Eldar [00:46:56]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:46:56]:
He's just prolonging it by saying, I like.

Phillip [00:46:59]:
I like the credit card research.

Eldar [00:47:00]:
I like talking.

Phillip [00:47:01]:
And he's basically doing maybe, like, I'm just gonna go on the walk.

Oleg C [00:47:04]:
My walk maybe, like, unexamined is more that.

Phillip [00:47:08]:
Okay, so my example would be this.

Eldar [00:47:09]:
If those things. If that research, if those credit cards lead him to then make ideas in his head, impulsive ideas. That's just an enabling factor. Yeah. To it. So if I'm starting, it's a bad tool, and a in the criminals. Criminals hands. Yeah.

Phillip [00:47:23]:
So if I'm starting with, like, being impulsive, I'm going on my walk as I'm walking, then I'm going to get coffee, or I'm doing other stuff. To me, like, that's just that he's. That the seed of the idea, and then he's doing all these other things, like, leading up to this thing, and then it's. We're going to end up at the same place.

Mike [00:47:40]:
But the impulsiveness is probably the point where I decided that this thing is in line with my identity. The idea of going on a trip on my own. And that is a moment of the impulsiveness versus realizing that, like, oh, actually, this sounds like a great idea. Why don't we make a plan and go with friends? And that's more calculated or just examining.

Anatoliy [00:48:04]:
Like, what feelings you have that lead you.

Mike [00:48:06]:
Yeah, I wasn't at that stage, you know, but I mean, obviously, I like to understand it, but, yeah, the idea will be like, hey, why do I want to go on the show? Why do I want to go to the city? Why do I want to do this? Why don't want to do that? I don't. Yeah, we're getting caught up on the impulsive thing, but I think there's, there's cause and effect, and the cause is definitely not impulsivity. I think the cause is something more deeper.

Eldar [00:48:31]:
Yeah, agree.

Mike [00:48:32]:
Yeah, we're getting stuck on impulse.

Eldar [00:48:33]:
On.

Oleg C [00:48:34]:
You're just doing actions. The first easy or the first intuitive action.

Eldar [00:48:37]:
Guys, we just try to explain to Oleg what buzzing is. Did you get it? Did you get it? It's a culmination.

Oleg C [00:48:42]:
I think I helped you guys understand.

Eldar [00:48:44]:
Oh, thanks. Like, yeah, the words, like, impulsive, reactionary, and stuff like that. Thank you. Yeah, so, like, thank you for letting us know that we just created a crazy word for explaining the phenomena.

Oleg C [00:48:57]:
You guys don't even agree on what we're observing?

Eldar [00:48:59]:
Oh, we agreed upon it. The timeline. Maybe we didn't. Wait.

Oleg C [00:49:02]:
We're just not being, like, being unexamined, like, just going to the next thing. Like, kind of like, I took a trip. I was bored. I took a trip. What made you bored, and what made you think the trip is the solution?

Mike [00:49:13]:
And I think that's the question that we're trying to get to, hopefully the.

Oleg C [00:49:16]:
Chicken or the egg.

Eldar [00:49:17]:
Yeah. So what do we have, Mike?

Mike [00:49:19]:
Well, I guess the impulsive nature, right? Like, where did it come from? What am I? Me and Phil were walking a few weeks ago, maybe a month ago or so. And we're talking about, like, what drives people.

Eldar [00:49:32]:
Right.

Mike [00:49:33]:
You know, and, like, you know, I said that I think there's two categories. What drives people.

Eldar [00:49:37]:
Uh huh.

Mike [00:49:38]:
Love or fear. And, like, you know, my thing is probably rooted in the fear in this case. Like, I'm not happy somewhere.

Eldar [00:49:46]:
Right.

Mike [00:49:46]:
Something is. So therefore, I'm chasing something that I made up in my head that is gonna make me happy.

Eldar [00:49:52]:
Okay.

Mike [00:49:52]:
And that is an extension or a reflection of that. This kind of thing, this behavior, this impulsive, like, you know, buzzing behavior is that I'm not happy.

Eldar [00:50:04]:
Mm hmm.

Mike [00:50:05]:
And instead of slowing down and thinking about, why am I not happy? What is lacking in my life for me to really be happy, I'm doing things that I think they sound like they would make me happy. Right. I tricked myself into believing that it's gonna make me happy, and I think they probably would.

Eldar [00:50:21]:
They could.

Mike [00:50:21]:
They could. They don't sound like it sounds like a good time.

Eldar [00:50:24]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:50:25]:
But then ultimately, they're not gonna bring me what I want, you know? But I. When I'm doing in them. In them. In them on those moments, I'm not really thinking about that. What I really want.

Eldar [00:50:36]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:50:36]:
I'm seeking maybe a instant happiness, instant gratification or relief. Relief of the pain, you know, versus finding out what's the cause of the pain and then, you know, doing something about it, potentially.

Eldar [00:50:50]:
Yeah. Yes. You.

Anatoliy [00:50:50]:
Like, I feel like that's just, like a. Like. Like, it's a. I don't know if the right word is how we're wired or, like. Or maybe how we're taught or, like, what we understand. Like, if we have some kind of pain or feeling that we don't. Like. Like, we talked about in, like, a different podcast where it's, like, it's not okay to internally feel that.

Anatoliy [00:51:12]:
Like, you don't know.

Eldar [00:51:14]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:51:15]:
Like, if you were okay with feeling that you don't know towards a particular feeling, like, these stuff would much less likely happen to all of us, but. But because, like, the only true thing in that time is that we do feel something. Like, we.

Eldar [00:51:31]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:51:32]:
Are feeling, like, a particular way. And that, like, in that moment, like, that's the only thing that we can accept as, like, for sure truth is that, like, whatever it is, you actually feeling this right now.

Eldar [00:51:42]:
Yeah. Right.

Anatoliy [00:51:43]:
But then, like, what you do afterwards, like, for some reason, we always feel that, like, we have the next step. We have the solution. Like, we know what might work. Like, and these are so many automatic things that happen versus, like, us acknowledging that, like, okay, it's true that I do feel this way. Like, I don't know, I kind of feel bored or I kind of feel lonely. Let me go talk about it. Or let me, like.

Eldar [00:52:10]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:52:10]:
Think about it with someone else or something.

Eldar [00:52:12]:
Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:52:13]:
Like, we're not okay with.

Eldar [00:52:15]:
With.

Anatoliy [00:52:15]:
With, like, leaving something in that state.

Eldar [00:52:18]:
Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that. I agree with that. I think. I think he just defined it. He said it really well.

Mike [00:52:27]:
I agree with that. I mean, that's the thing. That's for sure.

Eldar [00:52:31]:
But he also talked about the relief. You see, that. The relief is the fact that if you came out and actually said this to yourself or to somebody else and expressed that what you're feeling, most likely you're gonna have to go into the journey of learning, and the journey of learning will relieve that experience, whatever that you experience. Boredom.

Mike [00:52:50]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [00:52:50]:
It's almost like in. In the moment, we don't want to learn. We just want to do.

Eldar [00:52:53]:
That's right.

Anatoliy [00:52:54]:
And then we start.

Mike [00:52:55]:
We generally cannot pleasure. Right. Like, in that moment, I think I'm seeking out pleasure because I'm experiencing pain, but I'm not correlating those.

Anatoliy [00:53:04]:
You're not, like, saying to yourself that you're actually not sure.

Mike [00:53:07]:
Nobody was saying that. Like, hey, I'm in pain right now. No, no pleasure.

Anatoliy [00:53:12]:
No, no, no. I'm saying that, like, you actually, the reality in that moment is that, like, you're. You're feeling pain and you're trying to seek pleasure.

Eldar [00:53:19]:
Right. Yeah. Right.

Anatoliy [00:53:20]:
But I'm saying is that, like, the reality, that moment, and it's hard to accept is that you are feeling pain, but you're like, it's difficult to say to yourself, but, hey, I'm not sure how to seek pleasure.

Mike [00:53:32]:
Like. Like, the way to go about it is clearly not right. That's why I'm here.

Eldar [00:53:37]:
Yeah. The way that I'm trying to fucking join us. Can you.

Oleg C [00:53:42]:
I'm here to get help.

Mike [00:53:46]:
Yeah, I think that's why. I mean, that's why we're all here.

Eldar [00:53:48]:
Yes.

Oleg C [00:53:48]:
Because I got a learning.

Mike [00:53:50]:
Because the pain clearly is not worth it. Not serving me. I'm not happy with it.

Eldar [00:53:55]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [00:53:56]:
You know, but if you booked this.

Oleg C [00:53:58]:
Vacation because you always just wanted to see Italy, that would be the healthy.

Mike [00:54:02]:
I don't have any attitudes, anything.

Oleg C [00:54:04]:
That's what I'm saying. You booked it as, like, an alleviation of a discomfort.

Eldar [00:54:08]:
It's not.

Oleg C [00:54:09]:
It's not like you booked it where you're like, oh, I've always wanted to see this place? Like, I haven't taken a trip. Why not? Like.

Mike [00:54:14]:
No, yeah, it's probably just probably something to do. It sounds like fun. I did a lot of research, excitement.

Eldar [00:54:21]:
We also did.

Mike [00:54:22]:
I also have ADHD, so I'm probably a lot of times chasing, fucking like, you know, highs, you know?

Oleg C [00:54:27]:
Yeah. Sex, tourists, sex tourism.

Mike [00:54:30]:
What is it? Passport, bro.

Eldar [00:54:31]:
So does that thing, what's name? Um, gateways.

Mike [00:54:35]:
Gay lights.

Eldar [00:54:39]:
Yeah, it's the motherfuckers that get up from their seat before their fucking gay number of seat called. What is that shit?

Mike [00:54:48]:
You know, when they're bored, they get online.

Eldar [00:54:50]:
Yeah, they get online.

Anatoliy [00:54:56]:
Like number flow.

Oleg C [00:54:59]:
So even when they call my shit, I'm like, yo, maybe, maybe cancel. Yeah, I thought that's like what you get when you like doing too much sex tourism. Thai bed bugs.

Mike [00:55:20]:
Thailand.

Eldar [00:55:21]:
Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a very good point. I think that's where the answer lies, Mike.

Oleg C [00:55:27]:
So what prompted you, like, what thought did you have or what feeling that prompted you to start researching, looking for a trip? Do you remember?

Mike [00:55:37]:
So I have like been accumulating a lot of points, right. And your credit on my card. And I got into this world, which is a huge world apparently of there's.

Eldar [00:55:49]:
A lot of shit you can. The bigger the world, the more comfortable you feel.

Oleg C [00:55:53]:
Is it a subreddit?

Eldar [00:55:55]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:55:55]:
Is it like a subreddit?

Eldar [00:55:57]:
Point chasers, you know, fucked all night. They're getting asleep now. He's letting it out on you, bro.

Oleg C [00:56:02]:
You know, it's like r slash point chaser, bro. Yeah. Damn.

Mike [00:56:14]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:56:15]:
So you're in a category and shit.

Mike [00:56:17]:
I'm in the Reddit subs?

Eldar [00:56:19]:
Yeah. You see the smile that you fucking pulled when he said, yo, I found the world?

Oleg C [00:56:28]:
Did you get it?

Eldar [00:56:28]:
His add, bro. It's over, bro.

Oleg C [00:56:30]:
Do you have any tattoos related to that?

Mike [00:56:32]:
Yeah, you wanna see?

Oleg C [00:56:33]:
Okay. No, I was just wondering how deep you are.

Eldar [00:56:36]:
How deep you are in this cult.

Oleg C [00:56:38]:
Is there like a. What is it called?

Eldar [00:56:39]:
Point. Are you cheating on elderism, motherfucker? Show me the history of your tattoos.

Oleg C [00:56:43]:
No, because other things are way more enticing. You know, elderism is like a lot of pain. This is like, yo points.

Eldar [00:56:50]:
A big reward. I'm running for myself.

Oleg C [00:56:53]:
He's like, wait, I get rewarded for buying shit and I can use that to do more shit? Yeah, Mike's a consumer through and through.

Mike [00:57:00]:
That's right. Gotta stimulate the economy.

Eldar [00:57:02]:
Listen, I can relate to this. I have a great for you sleep deal stuff.

Oleg C [00:57:06]:
I like the one I think was sick deals yeah, I thought it was sick deals.

Eldar [00:57:11]:
Yes. Yes. That's what it is. You know, we'll leave that release the actual name when they pay us. My brother, a long time ago, I signed, like, you know, I don't have the patience. You know, I fucking. I subscribe to this idea of, like, I like getting deals. And until this day, I buy shit that I don't fucking use or need, so it'll just fucking store my house.

Eldar [00:57:32]:
And then I look at. I'm like, yeah, that identity that I attach myself to, like, fucking, I don't know, fucking metal detecting. You know what I mean? Like, that was cool. You know what I mean? That identity is pretty cool. I see myself doing that shit. I'm not that person. You know? I haven't done it, but one day, maybe I fucking will. It's jacuzzi fucking phenomena, right? Yeah.

Eldar [00:57:51]:
Like, the idea behind it, it would help me relieve my pain or whatever the fuck. Boredom or whatever that I was. Buy the shit. Yeah. Like an idiot.

Oleg C [00:57:58]:
And then I look back, or the discount thing is even one level lower. Because one thing is, when you're a deal, you're imagining, oh, I'm Eldar, the guy that hosts people in my hot tub. But then when it's, like, your elder that just chases deals, and the hot tub was a good deal.

Eldar [00:58:11]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [00:58:11]:
That's even, like, I think more like pathologic. Like, my friends fought. My friend Igor. His dad said it's very simple, but it's kind of funny. He's like, when you buying some shit for a off, you're not saving $40, you're just spending $60, which maybe you wouldn't have fucking spent.

Eldar [00:58:29]:
That's right.

Oleg C [00:58:30]:
Yeah.

Eldar [00:58:31]:
Very well said. You're here to let us know. Yeah, we wouldn't have come up with.

Oleg C [00:58:40]:
I forgot the way he said it. There was no math. It was more clever. But I try to give you, like. So, okay, so you've been accumulating points.

Eldar [00:58:51]:
Yeah.

Mike [00:58:52]:
So I discovered this world, and obviously, I thought it was interesting because you get to fly, flying across, like, these nice, nice country, sick ass flights. Crazy cheap, like, you know, sick deal.

Eldar [00:59:02]:
You can pick out an outfit that you're gonna wear when you want. First class.

Mike [00:59:05]:
No, no, that's for Phil. I'm not gonna pick it up.

Oleg C [00:59:07]:
Okay.

Eldar [00:59:08]:
Yeah. So.

Mike [00:59:10]:
So I got into it, and then I also found out somebody else that I know is also into it. And so we had conversations about points and deals and, like, you know, back and forth, you know? So, obviously, that helped to kind of, like, you know, spark that. And then I did research on different airplanes, different stuff, all kinds of shit.

Oleg C [00:59:27]:
Hold on, why were we researching airplanes?

Mike [00:59:29]:
Because different flights, you can take different flights. Different, like, you know, amenities. Amenities and levels of like, service.

Anatoliy [00:59:35]:
And he wants to shower on the.

Oleg C [00:59:37]:
Oh, so you care about the journey too?

Eldar [00:59:38]:
Like, oh, yeah, I want. What do you mean? He wants a.

Oleg C [00:59:41]:
They're alive. I can stand. I don't go.

Anatoliy [00:59:43]:
He wants to be greeted as Mister Rosenbaum, would you like a hot towel for your shower? Like, would you like us to shave you?

Oleg C [00:59:51]:
So my question was not that crazy in the beginning where I was like, wait, why aren't you saying the destination, it sounds like you're even further detached. It's not like I've always wanted to see Italy. And then it's not even always like, where can I go? Italy? It's like, I gotta go somewhere. Yeah, you know, I need a shower on the plane or whatever.

Mike [01:00:12]:
Yeah, I did get a shower.

Oleg C [01:00:15]:
Happy ending a lot or what, I.

Eldar [01:00:20]:
Knew like private jets probably have that.

Oleg C [01:00:21]:
But like regular jets, I don't think anyone has show.

Eldar [01:00:23]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [01:00:24]:
Micro show, where like if you're in particular class, you get five minutes, right.

Mike [01:00:28]:
Of shower time per person.

Anatoliy [01:00:30]:
30 minutes.

Eldar [01:00:31]:
30 minutes.

Anatoliy [01:00:34]:
Of the water coming per person.

Eldar [01:00:36]:
Okay.

Anatoliy [01:00:36]:
And then you need 30 minutes in.

Mike [01:00:37]:
The back, big bathroom and all this shit, like, wow.

Oleg C [01:00:40]:
Yeah, yeah, that's what's unnecessary. All right, so you. You're accumulating points. You dream about that shower.

Mike [01:00:46]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:00:48]:
I mean about the shower.

Mike [01:00:50]:
Yeah, dreaming about the shower.

Oleg C [01:00:51]:
Mile high shower.

Eldar [01:00:52]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:00:56]:
What?

Mike [01:00:56]:
Palmella.

Eldar [01:00:57]:
Palmella.

Oleg C [01:00:58]:
I don't know, that is the fruit.

Eldar [01:01:02]:
Palm.

Oleg C [01:01:02]:
Oh, palm.

Eldar [01:01:04]:
Okay.

Oleg C [01:01:05]:
I thought you talked about palm sugar. Smoking in the shower shit.

Eldar [01:01:08]:
Those are his jokes. I don't know why he know. Yeah, he likes those kind of palmetto. You never heard those?

Oleg C [01:01:13]:
No. Angela and Lev. Jill. I remember those.

Mike [01:01:17]:
Yeah. So that's. That's how I got into it. And, you know, I started like looking at different flights, differently amenities, different cool things, and I got into that world, I liked it. And I was like, all right, well, I took a flight last year like this already, okay? With my dad. And you know, like this kind of like experience fight. It was cool.

Oleg C [01:01:33]:
So maybe you're just trying out new experiences. Why is it necessarily, why don't you.

Mike [01:01:37]:
Just try new friends? Not. It's not serving me.

Eldar [01:01:43]:
I guess she's not happy saying, yeah.

Mike [01:01:45]:
I'm not happy because it's also like, that's one thing. Like, that's not like the biggest, biggest. Maybe it is. I don't know. But I'm saying, like, I also have these buzzing things where I get in trouble with friendships as well.

Eldar [01:01:58]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:01:58]:
Or relationships and stuff. So those are the ones that I'm kind of more worried about because, like, the traveling is once a year, once every two years, like, whatever.

Eldar [01:02:06]:
Right?

Mike [01:02:06]:
That's an extension of it. But my day to day life, you know, I meet people, I interact with people, you know, like, I don't want that buzzing to affect me the way it used to, the way it's been, you know, for example, right?

Eldar [01:02:19]:
He gets, he gets to know somebody really fast, right? And he thinks he knows them or whatever. And he's on the level. Buzzing and they're on the level for maybe some time. But then he didn't find out the intricacies behind that person.

Oleg C [01:02:31]:
Like yourself, I have the same exact.

Eldar [01:02:33]:
Like you. Right. You, for example, wake up at twelve or one. Right? Let's just make an example here. I don't. This is an example first.

Oleg C [01:02:39]:
Stop it.

Anatoliy [01:02:40]:
Yeah, you have to calm down.

Eldar [01:02:41]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:02:43]:
I went up for eight.

Eldar [01:02:45]:
Mike is an early rise. I'm giving you an example. Right? You guys met?

Oleg C [01:02:49]:
More like he's making more plans. I wake up, Oleg wakes up at.

Eldar [01:02:54]:
Five, you wake up at five.

Oleg C [01:02:55]:
He's done with mad shit by seven. Make me a hero.

Eldar [01:02:58]:
Yeah. There's no compatibility. You really don't know one another. But you start making expectations of the other person to perform to the same level that you're performing. And if they stop performing at that same level, you start getting disappointed. Yeah.

Oleg C [01:03:10]:
Mike have been talking about this for the last few. Just randomly audio messages for.

Mike [01:03:15]:
Well, yeah, yeah, we have been a little bit.

Eldar [01:03:17]:
Yeah. So there's incompatibility. That is, now you're already entangled with one another, and that incompatibility becomes the big thing. And it probably will weigh down on the relationship.

Mike [01:03:29]:
Well, he knows exactly what this is.

Eldar [01:03:31]:
No.

Mike [01:03:31]:
Brought it up.

Oleg C [01:03:33]:
No, I get, like, give the buzzing.

Mike [01:03:35]:
Example what you told me.

Eldar [01:03:37]:
Okay. But in general, now that he understands what buzzing is.

Mike [01:03:40]:
Yeah, yeah.

Oleg C [01:03:42]:
In general, I've had it with, with whatever. Meeting new people or dates or whatever.

Mike [01:03:47]:
Stop beating around the boy.

Eldar [01:03:48]:
Oh, my God.

Anatoliy [01:03:49]:
Holy shit.

Oleg C [01:03:49]:
I have loads of examples.

Mike [01:03:50]:
Give me the one we've been talking about.

Eldar [01:03:52]:
Wow. Which one? Okay.

Mike [01:03:53]:
You want me to do it?

Oleg C [01:03:54]:
Sure.

Mike [01:03:55]:
Oleg was complaining to me this week about these guys that he hanging out with.

Eldar [01:04:01]:
Oh, my God.

Mike [01:04:01]:
It's gonna be a disgusting story. I'll tell you that one. They dress, dress around, and they walk around the streets in all forests. I'll tell you about that one later.

Eldar [01:04:14]:
Okay? Yeah, don't piss off. Piss pigging around town.

Mike [01:04:23]:
So there's this group of guys that he plays dungeons and dragons with.

Phillip [01:04:29]:
That's even worse.

Oleg C [01:04:33]:
Anyone who this is dungeon dragon is ignorant.

Anatoliy [01:04:35]:
He said like, dungeon dragon is worse.

Eldar [01:04:37]:
Than being a human dog.

Oleg C [01:04:43]:
What if they hear. What if they hear this podcast and they're gonna be angry?

Mike [01:04:47]:
No, that's fine.

Eldar [01:04:47]:
They will hear.

Oleg C [01:04:48]:
Nobody listens to this anyway.

Eldar [01:04:54]:
We're gonna expose your ass.

Oleg C [01:04:55]:
Better delete all these.

Mike [01:04:57]:
No, fine, brother. We haven't said anything yet. Yeah, you haven't mentioned any names. What, is he getting all. Rob, calm down.

Eldar [01:05:08]:
Huh? Beef.

Mike [01:05:08]:
You said no beef. No, that's. No beef doesn't play dungeon dragons, right?

Eldar [01:05:13]:
Who?

Mike [01:05:14]:
Beef.

Oleg C [01:05:15]:
You mean biff?

Eldar [01:05:15]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:05:21]:
Yeah. So he has these guys that he.

Eldar [01:05:23]:
Plays his games with, these old dudes.

Mike [01:05:25]:
I'm not sure.

Eldar [01:05:26]:
Can you describe their height, their weight?

Mike [01:05:28]:
They're pretty hairy, disgusting. They don't shower anymore.

Eldar [01:05:30]:
Oh, my God. All right, cool. Yeah, no, it's actually pretty.

Mike [01:05:33]:
So they have.

Phillip [01:05:37]:
Skinny.

Oleg C [01:05:39]:
Well, no, actually, them being pretty talented and like, functional individuals makes this even worse, actually.

Eldar [01:05:46]:
Oh, wow.

Mike [01:05:46]:
So they have this thing where they meet up to play these game.

Eldar [01:05:49]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:05:50]:
And people will not show up, then make amendments, they won't come.

Eldar [01:05:53]:
And you have only be there in order for it to function.

Mike [01:05:55]:
That I'm not sure about.

Eldar [01:05:56]:
Oh.

Oleg C [01:05:57]:
But mostly it's like a man, it's like you imagine you're like planning basketball.

Eldar [01:06:02]:
Yeah. People not fucking. Okay?

Mike [01:06:03]:
They go to a place, person's house.

Eldar [01:06:04]:
A big deal.

Mike [01:06:05]:
And it's a big deal. And then you don't show up. And then, you know, he gets frustrated, he gets upset. He's like, yo, what the hell? We made a plan. We made a command. We're gonna do this.

Eldar [01:06:12]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:06:12]:
And then now he's buzzing on that. Right? On the dungeons and dragons stuff.

Eldar [01:06:17]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:06:17]:
And then somebody bends his ears like, yo. Or maybe he bends the ears like, yo. We should do a podcast on this too, cuz. Like, you know, people do like this stuff. And then again, everybody. Yeah, yo, sounds like fun. And then nobody shows up again. So people are nowhere to be found.

Mike [01:06:30]:
He's buzzing.

Oleg C [01:06:31]:
Nothing necessarily mean not sure. It's kind of like not showing up.

Mike [01:06:35]:
Like they're nowhere to be found mentally.

Oleg C [01:06:37]:
Or coming through, but like, yeah, not. Not contributing or not doing the thing. People spoke, not being accountable.

Eldar [01:06:43]:
Yeah, whatever.

Oleg C [01:06:44]:
I mean, so he's buzzing.

Mike [01:06:46]:
He wants to do the shit. Yeah, he's like starting the fire. And the people who need throwing the logs in order.

Oleg C [01:06:51]:
A lot of times someone else starts the fire and I'm like, okay, you're right. The reason I asked Mike which one example you're talking about, because this is happens to me in everything. Like this doesn't. I don't know if this quite goes with react because there's something to be examined. Like why I'm. I'm so like, you know, first of all, judgmental now, why I always perceive that, like it's me versus others or whatever. But yeah, there's a thing. It just what he's talking about, like with friendships and whatever the idea is.

Oleg C [01:07:24]:
Yeah, I have a similar thing where.

Eldar [01:07:26]:
Listen, we're good here, but we're not that good to be able to read your mind.

Oleg C [01:07:31]:
No, no, no, I. Cuz, cuz it's not a good example. We're talking about is dungeon and Dragons.

Phillip [01:07:35]:
Code for like a sex party or is it like you actually play in the game? There's a game for me.

Oleg C [01:07:41]:
It's like a sex party.

Anatoliy [01:07:43]:
No, you guys are actually playing Dungeon dragons or.

Eldar [01:07:45]:
No.

Oleg C [01:07:45]:
Yeah, I love that game.

Phillip [01:07:47]:
I picture guys in dragon costumes, like, like tackling each other. It's like a card game.

Eldar [01:07:51]:
This was like a sword that I held in my hand.

Phillip [01:07:54]:
It's a video game.

Oleg C [01:07:55]:
No, no, it's not.

Eldar [01:07:57]:
It's like a story.

Oleg C [01:07:58]:
Tabletop RPG is storytelling.

Eldar [01:08:01]:
Like you become. You have to say it. Wait, so what. Tell me what it is.

Oleg C [01:08:06]:
I mean, you could just like YouTube. It's easier to see.

Eldar [01:08:09]:
It's.

Oleg C [01:08:09]:
It's like.

Eldar [01:08:10]:
It's like a book.

Oleg C [01:08:11]:
No, it's basically a board game. You're not playing a video game. You're essentially.

Eldar [01:08:16]:
You have.

Anatoliy [01:08:16]:
Wait, this is what actually what's happening?

Eldar [01:08:18]:
Yes, I was pretty fascinated by the.

Anatoliy [01:08:21]:
No, stop it.

Oleg C [01:08:22]:
No, it used to be like a thing you came up with and then I got more and more into pop culture.

Eldar [01:08:26]:
Yeah, but you know what he's talking.

Oleg C [01:08:27]:
About big celebrities playing.

Phillip [01:08:29]:
I want to know what it is.

Oleg C [01:08:30]:
A lot of like, I don't know. You have now, like, you know, what's his name, the guy Joe Mangiello or whatever the fuck his name is.

Eldar [01:08:37]:
Oh, the boxer. Joe Mangiani.

Anatoliy [01:08:39]:
Paul Poly Joker.

Eldar [01:08:42]:
You knew.

Oleg C [01:08:44]:
Wow, the actor like this, like kind of.

Eldar [01:08:49]:
Yeah, I don't.

Oleg C [01:08:49]:
Popular act.

Eldar [01:08:50]:
Yeah, no, these are celebrity.

Oleg C [01:08:54]:
Cosign. My point is, a lot of people play it because it's a good way to, like. Yeah, people express themselves. Express themselves. It's like creativity strategy, working together. It's a pretty good development exercise with like under, like a guise of fun, like.

Eldar [01:09:11]:
Right.

Oleg C [01:09:11]:
It's like, I don't know. Can you give us, instead of playing.

Eldar [01:09:15]:
Whatever way, do a 22nd skip? No, what are you doing?

Phillip [01:09:19]:
Like, what.

Oleg C [01:09:20]:
So what happens?

Eldar [01:09:21]:
Give them a 22nd skill.

Oleg C [01:09:22]:
It's like.

Eldar [01:09:23]:
It's.

Oleg C [01:09:25]:
Yes, it's called a tabletop RPG's. Making fun of it the most when he plays like little. Yeah, girls on the computer and shit. Some card game.

Phillip [01:09:46]:
I want to know what a tabletop rpg is.

Eldar [01:09:49]:
Have you ever seen those trains that people, like, build?

Mike [01:09:51]:
Yo, wait, you guys know.

Eldar [01:09:52]:
You know, they run them and stuff and they put little. Little guys. It's not like that game. So now imagine this thing, like. No, it's like a salary. And they do little things and then they, like, speak for them, like, oh, I'm a little soldier, and now I'm gonna defend the town.

Oleg C [01:10:16]:
People.

Eldar [01:10:16]:
Yo, guys, guys. Yeah. It's not.

Phillip [01:10:23]:
There's not proper behavior.

Eldar [01:10:24]:
Yeah, professionals.

Mike [01:10:25]:
There's a professional podcast.

Eldar [01:10:26]:
Yeah, sorry, Olig. I'm sorry. What's that movie?

Oleg C [01:10:33]:
The movie just came out.

Eldar [01:10:35]:
It's exactly.

Phillip [01:10:35]:
I was thinking.

Eldar [01:10:36]:
Yes.

Phillip [01:10:36]:
They were jousting. They're jousting and they're like. They're playing. Yeah, they're playing like they're dressing up. Like.

Eldar [01:10:45]:
Yeah. Do you remember that movie where they.

Anatoliy [01:10:46]:
Were dressed up with those things?

Eldar [01:10:47]:
Yeah. What?

Oleg C [01:10:49]:
No, no. Didn't you see straight. You didn't see Stranger things? They were playing actually the movie dungeons.

Mike [01:10:59]:
And dragons when they do the board.

Oleg C [01:11:01]:
No, wait, wait.

Phillip [01:11:02]:
I watch stranger things. What part of Stranger Things is dungeon and dragon?

Oleg C [01:11:06]:
That's one of the things that made it really even more popular in pop culture today, where, like, a lot of.

Eldar [01:11:12]:
The coolest people play this guy.

Phillip [01:11:14]:
No, but asking what specific part of stranger things.

Oleg C [01:11:17]:
Kids, they're always playing it and shit.

Phillip [01:11:19]:
What's that?

Oleg C [01:11:19]:
They show the kids playing the game.

Phillip [01:11:21]:
So it's an actual game. Oh, when the kids are downstairs in the basement stuff?

Eldar [01:11:25]:
Yes.

Oleg C [01:11:25]:
And then the newer ones, remember there's a guy, Eddie Munson or whatever, right? The one that gets, I think. Spoiler alert, right? Fucking die.

Phillip [01:11:32]:
Okay, so they're playing dungeon.

Oleg C [01:11:33]:
He's like their main dungeon master, right? So, okay, whatever.

Eldar [01:11:37]:
Just.

Phillip [01:11:37]:
So it's explaining. It's storytelling.

Eldar [01:11:40]:
Yeah. By the way, tabletop creating mean.

Oleg C [01:11:42]:
I can answer you. They keep just, I think with the stranger things design.

Phillip [01:11:50]:
So use the stranger things.

Eldar [01:11:51]:
Right. That's why you're better question asking questions. I asked him this a long time ago. You told me all about it. It's cool. It's cool. Shit. Okay.

Eldar [01:11:58]:
If you immerse yourself. You could get, like.

Mike [01:12:04]:
A discussion.

Eldar [01:12:04]:
No, they dress up and everything, bro. They get it. You guys dress up to get into character. Absolutely.

Mike [01:12:10]:
No, he didn't tell me the tape.

Eldar [01:12:12]:
No, but you could dress up if you wanted to.

Oleg C [01:12:15]:
I mean, you could dress up. You could fucking dress letter friend logo every day.

Eldar [01:12:25]:
I'm just asking whether or not you could dress up. And if people do dress up, they like.

Oleg C [01:12:29]:
They're like Ogs, I guess, some fucking maybe.

Eldar [01:12:31]:
You see, I don't.

Oleg C [01:12:32]:
I've never been to, like, a table where people dress up.

Eldar [01:12:34]:
Okay, fine, fine.

Phillip [01:12:35]:
Weird.

Eldar [01:12:37]:
But you would not, I mean, prefer.

Oleg C [01:12:39]:
By the way, I'm definitely find, like, iron. Like, I make fun of it all the time. It's one of those.

Eldar [01:12:44]:
You enjoying what's actually happening right now without having to just.

Oleg C [01:12:47]:
Yeah, but I think it's also good to, like, know what it actually is and then make fun of it. That's.

Eldar [01:12:52]:
We're definitely waiting.

Oleg C [01:12:53]:
I think it was missing something. I was like, give us one of your favorite.

Eldar [01:12:57]:
You really? Like.

Oleg C [01:13:00]:
If I actually explain it to you, then you'll know how to talk about it. Cause you're like, oh, do you dress up? Is there action? This doesn't make sense. It's like me. It's like me being like, yo, you working.

Eldar [01:13:12]:
You nailed it.

Oleg C [01:13:13]:
It's like me being like, yo, you love working at letter friend and go.

Eldar [01:13:21]:
You have a favorite scene, yes or no? Come on.

Oleg C [01:13:23]:
I don't know what that means.

Eldar [01:13:30]:
When you guys do highlights.

Phillip [01:13:33]:
All right, wait. All right, so you guys have, like, a notebook in a pen?

Oleg C [01:13:42]:
Wait, so can you explain.

Eldar [01:13:45]:
Is it being film example?

Mike [01:13:46]:
Let's get back on top.

Phillip [01:13:48]:
No, no, we gotta define this.

Eldar [01:13:50]:
Yeah, yeah.

Oleg C [01:13:55]:
There's no point in it.

Phillip [01:13:56]:
Okay, but is it being fun filmed? Are you writing stuff down?

Eldar [01:13:59]:
What's the.

Phillip [01:13:59]:
Are you creating a story?

Eldar [01:14:00]:
Like, what?

Phillip [01:14:01]:
Are you creating a book?

Anatoliy [01:14:02]:
Like, there's definitely a dice rolling, right?

Eldar [01:14:06]:
No, there is a dice.

Phillip [01:14:07]:
That's World of Warcraft.

Oleg C [01:14:10]:
They're figuring it out. We don't.

Mike [01:14:12]:
I have no idea what it is. Bro.

Phillip [01:14:15]:
You know what this is?

Eldar [01:14:17]:
I know it's because he told me about. So can you. Okay, so what is that so, no, I can't explain it, but you just keep talking. It's like. It's ongoing. Story, story. Okay. Ongoing story that never ends.

Eldar [01:14:27]:
And the people in it, they create the shit. Right? They come prepared and like, yo, I'm gonna say this, whatever. And they kind of elaborate it and go wherever they want to go.

Phillip [01:14:36]:
So I'm just talking.

Eldar [01:14:37]:
No, it's. It's within the thing.

Oleg C [01:14:39]:
I don't know the fucking stuff.

Phillip [01:14:40]:
Which is a set book.

Eldar [01:14:43]:
It's a never ending book.

Oleg C [01:14:44]:
No, I thought it was a board.

Eldar [01:14:45]:
Game, but the quit board game, bro. They creating stories, bro.

Oleg C [01:14:49]:
They're creating. But it's crazy when somebody asks you, yo, can you tell me about like fucking where is Gibraltar? And you're like, well, it's. And somebody else is like, yo, it's in the ocean, right? And so it's like, all right, so can. But you can eat it, right?

Eldar [01:15:05]:
And then.

Oleg C [01:15:06]:
And then he's asking you about it.

Eldar [01:15:08]:
And dragons is a game. Abort is a game end in, my man. What do you mean open ended? Open ended. Ask him.

Oleg C [01:15:15]:
You're just giving. It's green, it's red.

Eldar [01:15:18]:
It's. Okay, guys. I just say it.

Oleg C [01:15:24]:
All right, ready?

Eldar [01:15:26]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:15:26]:
So table. There's not just dungeons and dragons. There's like, by the way, thousands of them. You have a fallout. You know the game fallout. There's a fallout one. There's one like we're wolves and vampires. Whatever.

Oleg C [01:15:38]:
The whole point is it's a tabletop role playing game. So you know how on the computer you make a character? You play as a character, you have to talk to NPC's, you gather items, you level up. There's an adventure. Usually there's some kind of mission and it takes you to side missions. You're whatever, right? And then like certain decisions you make have consequences on the story. That's what makes it fun. It's not a shooter where you're just getting dopamine hits from fucking taking out targets, right. Or whatever.

Oleg C [01:16:05]:
So it's the same thing, right? But instead of a video game, I mean, there's pre. There's. Yeah, there's like each tabletop rpg has books that have the rules because otherwise it's not fun if you don't have rules, right? There's a rule for. And then you can just take like whatever action. Like, I don't know, let's say you want to like hit Toli with the chair because he's like an enemy you encountered, right? So you may.

Phillip [01:16:29]:
So I actually hit him with the chair.

Oleg C [01:16:30]:
There's a rule for like a improvised weapon action because a chair is not an official weapon, right. And explains. And basically the way outcomes are determined, as totally correctly said, is you roll dice, you see? And then you have a character sheet which gives. Which is like, you know, there's certain rules how you can make your character, right? So every character has strengths and weaknesses and whatever. And it has modifiers. So you add those modifiers to the dice rolls which determine outcomes if you fail, succeed and whatever. And then, um. And then, well, there's like in.

Oleg C [01:17:05]:
It's called. The general name is a game master, a GM. But in. In Dungeons Dragons it's called DM. Like Dungeon Master. It's basically just the guy who. Sometimes he could be just running a pre made module. Like they make these things where it has a bunch of choices and you could just use it.

Oleg C [01:17:21]:
Maybe there's a, like a loose story in there. But some people writes, write their own where they, you know, they make a world. Like, I don't know, Tolkien or Gr. Martin.

Phillip [01:17:30]:
Right.

Oleg C [01:17:30]:
They have a world. Like it depends how deep you want to go. Like somewhat like the better DM's. Like Matt Mercer is a famous one on YouTube. He's like in critical role.

Phillip [01:17:40]:
So my taking action, am I. Am I doing anything or share the whole time?

Oleg C [01:17:44]:
So it's like, no, you're on the chair. So let's say I move four people, right? I mean, it's three to five is the best. Like I would say group now and then you have one DM. Sometimes I have like two DM's to run the game.

Eldar [01:17:55]:
What?

Oleg C [01:17:55]:
But the point is. Yeah, you create a world and then you have like a story that's supposed to hook these people in and you control the NPC's, obviously. And there's twists and whatever. And depending on what they're doing and their characters backstories, you can weave that all in there. And it just kind of is almost an exercise and improvisation, working together and working with the storyline.

Eldar [01:18:16]:
Okay, so I have a question.

Oleg C [01:18:17]:
So you role play your character.

Eldar [01:18:19]:
Okay. But in the character, when you're doing the character stuff, when it plays in the game, does it ever comes out into real life? Like where you guys like. Okay, cool. In this scene we're gonna hug you guys each other.

Oleg C [01:18:32]:
I'm sure people like, you know, I don't know, for realism or some shit.

Eldar [01:18:38]:
Yeah, they acted out.

Oleg C [01:18:40]:
I don't know about acting out. You're talking. You're talking about live action. No, you're talking about laRping. Maybe live action role playing where these guys make themselves. Chill chain, man.

Eldar [01:18:52]:
Do this on Saturday.

Phillip [01:18:53]:
How'd you mix up larp and rpg's? So unlike.

Anatoliy [01:18:57]:
Wait, so can you give an example of like one another was saying that happened like one thing that happened where I was like, so we can get.

Oleg C [01:19:04]:
An idea, but it could be like anything.

Anatoliy [01:19:06]:
Well, you'll just give one example, highlight one.

Oleg C [01:19:07]:
It's just like, all right. Like, it's. I don't know. It's Monday morning. Like, you're playing Phil, right? It's like Monday. You just took, like, I don't know, 20 miles walk, and it's like, shit, I gotta get back to work. You get back to work. You walk into a letter friend.

Oleg C [01:19:21]:
You come in, you know the office. You're ready to see your buddies, you're ready to have lunch, and then you come in, the office is empty. There's a note we left to Bermuda, right? What do you do? So then you're like, well. And then you're playing Phil's character. So you try to think like, no.

Eldar [01:19:34]:
No, I want you to give me an example.

Anatoliy [01:19:36]:
No, I want you to give me an example of something that happened in the game that you were playing.

Eldar [01:19:39]:
She doesn't feel like he wants to do that.

Oleg C [01:19:41]:
I mean, there's, like, so many.

Anatoliy [01:19:42]:
Like.

Oleg C [01:19:42]:
No, like, in what is. You play the fucking Zelda shit.

Eldar [01:19:49]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:19:49]:
What is an example? We killed an orc and you got some loot or whatever. Give me an example. Yeah. Mmorpgs.

Anatoliy [01:19:57]:
Are you. Give me an example of something that happened while you guys were playing.

Eldar [01:20:03]:
Wasn't there a dragon at some point? What?

Oleg C [01:20:07]:
So, like, in one game, I'm playing a character. His. He was part of an army for a kingdom. He grew up patriotic. His father was in military everything. He joined this military. He joined the military as you're supposed to by whatever your family does, you kind of pass it down. And he was, I guess, really like a good soldier.

Oleg C [01:20:30]:
Whatever. So they promoted him to the elite troops, and he was going through elite training, and they were transporting prisoners. They put him. They said he's gonna do like. Like, it's kind of an internship or whatever you want to call, like, you know, practica. Right? Like, I remember how it was called in English, but whatever.

Mike [01:20:51]:
There's a russian game.

Oleg C [01:20:52]:
No, no, no. That's the first word coming to my, like, kind of like, as part of his training. It was like, you're gonna be on, like, okay, prisoner transfer.

Eldar [01:21:00]:
And he just agrees, like, no problem.

Oleg C [01:21:02]:
Well, it's part of, like, the backstory.

Eldar [01:21:03]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:21:04]:
He's like, okay.

Eldar [01:21:04]:
He's pretty. Usually tell him to do.

Oleg C [01:21:07]:
And then he's right.

Eldar [01:21:10]:
He's.

Oleg C [01:21:10]:
He's part of this thing. And then he thinks it's officers from the other side that they're fighting against. That's why it's, like, would be like, for an elite unit, but then it turns out it's these people that are, like, different from everyone.

Eldar [01:21:23]:
Oh, shit. At all. What?

Oleg C [01:21:28]:
This character? Yay. Exactly.

Anatoliy [01:21:31]:
So you're playing this character and who's.

Eldar [01:21:33]:
Right?

Oleg C [01:21:34]:
So that's his, like, backstory.

Anatoliy [01:21:35]:
Who's beef playing?

Eldar [01:21:42]:
You understand?

Anatoliy [01:21:43]:
No, I wanted, like, a live example. In one scene, we're asking me a.

Oleg C [01:21:48]:
No.

Anatoliy [01:21:50]:
Yes.

Eldar [01:21:50]:
Wait till he fucks.

Anatoliy [01:21:51]:
I want to see you roll the dice and what happens?

Eldar [01:21:53]:
Hold on.

Oleg C [01:21:54]:
No, this is just the backstory. So what happens?

Eldar [01:21:55]:
Right.

Oleg C [01:21:55]:
He discovers that it's these people. It's kind of almost like a holocaust. Ss sort of thing, whatever. Right. But, yeah, I mean, if you want to play a good.

Eldar [01:22:04]:
Yeah, yeah, no, that's a good setting. Okay. No, how does he get out of this?

Oleg C [01:22:08]:
Have fun.

Eldar [01:22:08]:
You.

Oleg C [01:22:09]:
Of course, you play like it's.

Eldar [01:22:11]:
Yeah, like a timeout where you could call, like, a friend.

Oleg C [01:22:15]:
This is my character's back story. Right?

Eldar [01:22:18]:
So he.

Phillip [01:22:24]:
You're in a chair right now when you're doing this.

Oleg C [01:22:26]:
No, this is his backstory. Do you understand? Like, I mean, you. Have you ever played an rpg on the computer? No.

Eldar [01:22:34]:
Wait, but are you. You're acting? Yes. He has no choices.

Oleg C [01:22:39]:
No, no. When you make a character, you make, like, a backstory for him.

Eldar [01:22:42]:
I know, but you.

Oleg C [01:22:43]:
But you act it out.

Eldar [01:22:44]:
So you know who he is.

Anatoliy [01:22:45]:
No, but you acted out.

Oleg C [01:22:47]:
Why do you keep talking about acting out?

Eldar [01:22:49]:
He wants to know whether or not you take his voice. And you're like, yo, I'm talking.

Oleg C [01:22:52]:
When you're playing in the game, you can.

Eldar [01:22:54]:
You do. Okay.

Oleg C [01:22:55]:
Do you do that, though?

Eldar [01:22:56]:
Yeah, I do.

Anatoliy [01:22:57]:
So what's this character's voice?

Oleg C [01:22:59]:
It's, like, pretty gruff, low, like northern english kind of accent. Like a gruff voice. Like, you know, kind of that.

Eldar [01:23:06]:
Oh, nice.

Oleg C [01:23:07]:
You roll the dice, then somebody could play. Yeah, some people don't do any.

Anatoliy [01:23:12]:
What's an example of an outcome after you roll the dice?

Eldar [01:23:14]:
Right. So.

Oleg C [01:23:15]:
Right, just real quick, this backstory, so he finds out, basically, you tries to release some of them. He ends up accidentally killing, like, a superior officer. He's a deserter. He deserts. He goes to another town. Right? And then it's like he goes into a tavern.

Eldar [01:23:30]:
He.

Oleg C [01:23:30]:
Where he has a let. He has a letter from some guy who said to meet him at this tavern, whatever.

Eldar [01:23:34]:
So he doesn't just meet him, does he? So he walks in.

Oleg C [01:23:36]:
So you start off, let's say you're walking into the tower. Just very simple. And you're trying to keep a low profile. Maybe you're trying to, like, not call any, like, attention to yourself. Right? So you could say, okay, so are you making it a point to, like, not make sure no one remembers you just to, like, get up to your room and so nobody.

Eldar [01:23:54]:
What? The comment sees you long as fucking back ongoing, bro.

Oleg C [01:23:57]:
What do you mean? I'm giving you the scenario. Like, what do you want me to do?

Eldar [01:24:01]:
Is everybody always mad at you for making your story longer than other people's stories? Because obviously nobody talks over the other person. It's always one at a time, correct?

Oleg C [01:24:09]:
And ideally, yeah.

Eldar [01:24:10]:
So how long is your, like, your spiel versus the other people's feel? Because I might find. I might have found the problem to the issue. You guys have it?

Oleg C [01:24:16]:
No, that's.

Phillip [01:24:18]:
Wait, did the dice get rolled yet or. We're waiting for the.

Oleg C [01:24:31]:
Fucking.

Phillip [01:24:32]:
What's a gruff voice, though?

Eldar [01:24:35]:
What is a gruff.

Oleg C [01:24:36]:
You have a bunch of dogs, like, pacing around and you dress like a fucking. They don't even know me, like, remote.

Eldar [01:24:42]:
Can he up to the character appeal the rolling of the dice? Like, he's like, yo, now I fuck with that.

Anatoliy [01:24:46]:
Hey, Penny drop.

Eldar [01:24:47]:
Is that a possibility?

Oleg C [01:24:49]:
I can answer dumb questions.

Eldar [01:24:52]:
Would you not think that the character, like, y'all, wait a second. Olig, like, you put me into some rough here. I'm not trying to go there.

Phillip [01:24:57]:
But he says enough to get up out of his chair and act it out.

Eldar [01:25:00]:
Yeah, so he's wrong. So.

Phillip [01:25:02]:
So he's rolling the dice.

Eldar [01:25:03]:
Why can't you debate yourself? I don't understand this. If he's already alive and he's created, why can't he be like, yo, I ain't doing that.

Phillip [01:25:09]:
Like, I'm not going out like this.

Mike [01:25:11]:
All right, guys.

Eldar [01:25:11]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Answer one last one. Can he appeal the roll of the dice, please?

Phillip [01:25:19]:
Is it an eight sided dice?

Eldar [01:25:22]:
I picture.

Phillip [01:25:23]:
It's not a regular die. Is it a regular die?

Mike [01:25:27]:
I think we can move on, guys.

Eldar [01:25:29]:
I think. I think opt it out. All right, let's get back to this. So let's not use this example. Let's. You know what? We can use this example. We're gonna say it's fictional.

Oleg C [01:25:47]:
Dennis, cut this whole part out. These guys are retarded. I'm gonna. I'm gonna start just dropping racial epithets.

Eldar [01:26:02]:
I'm serious. Is there any chance you could act this out in such a way? But is it a fictional story?

Mike [01:26:08]:
No, I did not.

Eldar [01:26:09]:
Wait. Yeah, hold on. This is the bigger question. Did Mike sign up for the next appointment for this? Impulsively. Impulsively.

Oleg C [01:26:19]:
All right, well, end it.

Eldar [01:26:20]:
Just do a grumpy.

Mike [01:26:20]:
That wasn't the whole point of the conversation.

Anatoliy [01:26:25]:
I thought it was like a board game where there's like set things.

Eldar [01:26:31]:
We'll put you out of your misery. Just to the grump. The gruff voice. I got a bigger problem. I got a bigger problem. They created this character. He has no voice. That's fucked up.

Eldar [01:26:55]:
That's my problem in all this. You know what I'm saying? He has to have an argument. He's like, yo, why is this fictional shit? Why is this pre made? Why can't I have free will?

Phillip [01:27:07]:
I'm looking it up.

Eldar [01:27:08]:
Holy shit, yo. Thank you, Oleg. We haven't had one of these in a while. As Dennis would say, you have too much fun at my expense. That's why I'm not here. I retired. Okay. Holy shit, yo.

Eldar [01:27:23]:
Alright, so, Mike. Up to you.

Mike [01:27:26]:
What?

Eldar [01:27:26]:
If you want to use this as a fictional example, we can continue. If not, we can scratch it.

Mike [01:27:31]:
I was trying to give the example to Olig to understand you trying to use.

Eldar [01:27:34]:
Trying to set him up.

Mike [01:27:35]:
I didn't. I didn't know what the hell you took him.

Eldar [01:27:39]:
I think you never took his character this deep, bro.

Oleg C [01:27:42]:
I don't think it's a good example, Mike. Because I think it's an example of something else also. Something like that. Examining. But I know what you're talking about.

Phillip [01:27:51]:
Where you.

Oleg C [01:27:53]:
You meet somebody. Could be a new friend, whatever girl or whatever. But yeah, even friend. And you start hanging out with that person. And you. It's quickly.

Eldar [01:28:01]:
Quickly.

Oleg C [01:28:01]:
You talking whatever, like shit. And then at one point, like you said, you just start noticing. I think there's certain people that have this tendency. And then you start noticing, fuck, this person has all these fucking flaws. It's not working out. Or all person becomes addict to you. And you're like, wait, how did that happen? Yeah, I thought we're cool. Or even like.

Oleg C [01:28:22]:
I thought this person is like, lower. Like you. Lower than me. Almost lower than me, but like. Yeah, like you like mooching off you and whatever. Like you think you have the power, right? And then you're something. You're like, how did I get here?

Eldar [01:28:35]:
Right?

Oleg C [01:28:36]:
Is that.

Eldar [01:28:38]:
Yeah, it's part of it.

Mike [01:28:39]:
Yeah. Yeah, that's part of it.

Eldar [01:28:41]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:28:42]:
You get into situations that don't have a desirable outcome because you're too blind to see what's actually happening.

Eldar [01:28:49]:
Well, the thing is, it's not that, right? It's not that you'd blind the reason the blindness happens in the first place.

Mike [01:28:54]:
Well, we're not talking about that yet. We're talking about, we didn't get to the point why we're blind. I think that's what we're trying to get.

Eldar [01:28:59]:
Okay.

Mike [01:29:00]:
But I agree. Yes, it's because you're blind. But why you're blind? Why are you buzzing? That's the question.

Eldar [01:29:04]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:29:05]:
What are you running from? Why are you avoiding yourself? Why are you avoiding this pain? Yeah. Instead of solving the pain. Right. Like, I think that's the question. That's the bigger question.

Eldar [01:29:15]:
Yeah, no, yeah, no, for sure. For sure.

Mike [01:29:18]:
Obviously. Why it happens, you know?

Eldar [01:29:20]:
So in your case, then, in your example, what is it that? What do you think? Where are you shooting at?

Mike [01:29:25]:
Well, I don't know.

Eldar [01:29:26]:
Why do you disconnect? And why do you go so fast without slowing down to find out?

Mike [01:29:30]:
Like, there might be consequences behind the action? Like, the big part of it is that I've been doing this for a very long time.

Eldar [01:29:35]:
Okay.

Mike [01:29:35]:
So I don't know where it started was the first day, but unlike example.

Eldar [01:29:40]:
He actually knows where it started. Yeah.

Mike [01:29:41]:
The walking, like, you know, excessive walk, the china virus, you know.

Eldar [01:29:46]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:29:46]:
That thing scared him.

Oleg C [01:29:47]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:29:49]:
But I don't know that the source of it. You know, I just. And also just started now, you know, discovering this thing about myself.

Eldar [01:29:56]:
Okay.

Mike [01:29:56]:
About the buzzing, you know, and then how it's been affecting me negatively, you know, and now that I'm trying to be more, you know, examining more of my life and hopefully to get better outcomes out of my interactions, engagements, and things that I do, I think this is a big source of, you know, unhappiness for me after it unravels.

Eldar [01:30:23]:
Okay.

Mike [01:30:24]:
You know, and as I'm trying to engage in new things, potentially new relationships, new friendships, you know, new endeavors, potentially, I don't know, I would not like to get caught off guard.

Eldar [01:30:36]:
Okay.

Mike [01:30:36]:
Or not get off court of guard, but not let myself go too far.

Eldar [01:30:41]:
Or too fast or too fast. So would you say the speed of your engagement is one of those things where because of the fact that you're not really slow and you don't see. You don't see what you're doing? Well, definitely value in slowing down. You don't see value in kind of taking your time with decision making process or really seeing things that. Stuff like that. You see time as a thing. Maybe there's a time problem, right? Like, if you're going fast, you obviously trying to get somewhere fast. Well, then anybody who wants to go fast, they want to get there faster.

Mike [01:31:16]:
Well, I think if you're trying to get somewhere faster maybe you feel like you're already late.

Eldar [01:31:20]:
Okay, there you go. I think that's a very good point. Where do you think you late to?

Mike [01:31:25]:
I think it ties into last week's stuff.

Eldar [01:31:27]:
Okay, which ones? I.

Mike [01:31:28]:
Remind me the bad choices that I made. Let me. To where I am now. Again, I'm just thinking I haven't really connected it out.

Oleg C [01:31:33]:
Okay, wait, why do you think it's a time thing?

Mike [01:31:35]:
I'm not sure if it is, but I might like.

Eldar [01:31:37]:
Well, I'll just. I'm saying it's time thing because, like, if anybody who's rushing fast and trying to do things fast, it's almost like they feel like you just said confirmed that. Like, hey, they missed out on something, but they might be late to something, they might miss out. You know what I mean? If they don't get there faster.

Oleg C [01:31:52]:
But I think it's more of a, hey, this feels good. Let me keep going. Doesn't mean it's like you meet somebody in your, I don't know, it could be a new friend and you're like, vibing like, whoa, cool. This person's interested in my dungeons and dragons, whatever, right? And you can both discuss that shit back and forth and you kind of bypass things. You don't notice things. And after a while, you know, this person's a fucking cocksucker. Like, he's just not a good person. And then, you know, I don't know this person, whatever, he stands you up all the time, right? They don't like, oh, this is spiked.

Mike [01:32:29]:
You probably, you know, or it could.

Oleg C [01:32:31]:
Be like, not compatible.

Eldar [01:32:32]:
You see? You see? But that. That's not seeing things for what they are. Yeah. Not compatibility or backstabs.

Mike [01:32:36]:
You, whatever.

Eldar [01:32:36]:
All those things as a result, I think then not of that person is that you're in the ability to slow down and see things for what they are. Get to know the person really, as a whole thing is to see, like, okay, Kenny, is he really compatible with me? With some of my value systems? Right. Being on time, for example, to certain events that you hold dear.

Mike [01:32:54]:
Yeah, to you.

Eldar [01:32:55]:
You know what I mean? Like, if they're not, then, oh, shit. Like, I can't fuck with them. I can fuck with them at a distance, but I can't put my eggs in this basket because it's gonna. He's not gonna uphold the bargain or the things that he says is not coming true. And I see this because he's a, you know, he's a flip flop or a Lally gagger and stuff like that.

Oleg C [01:33:11]:
I think also being social person, you gravitate and you get excited. Oh, another person add to my thing.

Eldar [01:33:17]:
I think that, again, you see, like, you're almost starting with a. I don't have something there for another person. You know, I mean. Oh, another person like you almost putting your ex.

Mike [01:33:26]:
That's.

Oleg C [01:33:27]:
Yeah, I mean.

Eldar [01:33:29]:
I mean, that's almost saying you're not.

Mike [01:33:31]:
I think part of it is not enough, but I think you're looking for a friend because you're not a good friend to yourself.

Eldar [01:33:36]:
Mm hmm. You know?

Mike [01:33:37]:
So why are you not a good friend to yourself?

Eldar [01:33:39]:
So you say you're almost looking for somebody else to be good. Better to you than you yourself to yourself.

Mike [01:33:43]:
Or maybe thinking if you put all the people that you. They'll be good to you and you'll be good to.

Eldar [01:33:47]:
Sure. That.

Oleg C [01:33:47]:
But I think, no, innately, always looking for more allies. Right?

Mike [01:33:51]:
Like, I think that's a.

Oleg C [01:33:52]:
More friends and allies, huh? No, yeah, I just. Evolutionary, if you don't know how to help.

Mike [01:33:58]:
But the thing is good to have friends, religion. I think it's important to know, like, who your friends are, not just whatever.

Oleg C [01:34:04]:
Absolutely. I'm saying the thing that drives you to meet all these people and, like, progress hunting.

Eldar [01:34:10]:
Right. It's easier to hunt a buffalo with fucking 100 people versus one. Yeah, sure. Evolutionary said we progress.

Oleg C [01:34:16]:
No, I mean, it's in our brain, like, get more allies, more people in the village that, like, you have a connection, safety.

Mike [01:34:21]:
They're gonna also support those things to be, like, the ruling thing of my life. I want.

Eldar [01:34:25]:
He wants to pave his own path.

Oleg C [01:34:27]:
Yeah, right, right. But I'm just saying those things are propelling you, let's say, like, innate. Innately.

Eldar [01:34:31]:
So you might think about, we're all perfect.

Oleg C [01:34:34]:
We're all propelled by that. Right. But some of us maybe are more ride down that go, like, down that road without examining it. I think that's where the disconnect is. Right. And, like, so, like, I'm propelled by it. Eldar is probably Phil. Totally right.

Mike [01:34:50]:
We all are social, for sure.

Oleg C [01:34:51]:
Right.

Mike [01:34:51]:
That's a big part of our life.

Eldar [01:34:53]:
But I think there's no. That's the thing that there's breaks where we are and, like, we're talking about this. Right, Mike? I said, hey, like, it is important to be friendly. It is important to be open and give people chances a hundred percent. Yeah. However, be careful. We're getting attached.

Mike [01:35:07]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:35:08]:
To the outcomes. Right. Because the outcomes will, most of the time, are not gonna pan out the way you think.

Oleg C [01:35:13]:
Yeah, that's.

Eldar [01:35:13]:
Or see them. Right.

Oleg C [01:35:14]:
Or committing.

Eldar [01:35:15]:
Correct.

Oleg C [01:35:16]:
It's the same, I guess.

Eldar [01:35:17]:
Yeah, correct. Right. Over committing. Right. Because then you start, like, okay, putting, you know, cassette expectations on certain outcomes. And then when they are not met, you start pointing fingers like, oh, that's the person.

Oleg C [01:35:28]:
You get overexcited again, over excited. Then you get disappointed.

Eldar [01:35:32]:
Then you get disappointed. Right. So I think it is extremely important to understand and value or respect the process of development that we go through as humans, as people. Right. And what I mean by that is that we're constantly, I think, evolving throughout life. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And the stage that Oleg is in right now, that he's in right, where he values this game and this is the time that he values, he really wants to do it might not be the same way for those guys that he's playing with.

Mike [01:36:03]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:36:03]:
They might have stuff going on. Right. Because it's life. Yeah. You know what I mean? The weight that he put on it is not the same weight that they put on it. Of course. And there's a discrepancy. Yeah.

Eldar [01:36:13]:
You know what I'm saying? However, the displeasement that he's displaying when they're not showing, it's the attachment to that. He put a lot of weight on it. They didn't. It is a natural order. These people are not doing this on purpose to him. It's a natural order for anybody who held attachment more than the other person. So sooner or later, the discrepancy is going to be known and felt, therefore, you. Somebody will suffer.

Eldar [01:36:39]:
It's inevitable.

Mike [01:36:40]:
Yeah, no, I understand that. I cannot be upset at that person expecting me because I don't respect myself.

Eldar [01:36:45]:
Correct.

Mike [01:36:46]:
I get that.

Oleg C [01:36:50]:
I think my thing is more my fault. I mean, not my fault, like, whatever. Something inside me, then Mike's thing. Because sometimes you, you just encounter someone. Maybe that because someone straight up disrespecting you is different than someone, just not like maybe being as excited about something as you are.

Eldar [01:37:07]:
Oh, I think if you examine that like what you said, like, straight up disrespecting you, you've come to find out that most cases, probably most of them. Is that the reason why you got disrespected in the first place? Is it because of the way you walk?

Mike [01:37:18]:
Yeah. You allowed that behavior to be direct towards you.

Eldar [01:37:22]:
Correct.

Oleg C [01:37:22]:
But I'm saying maybe you might have met a person, like a very low agreeability. Highly disagreeable.

Eldar [01:37:28]:
No problem. You could stand your ground, you know. You know how to meet that energy, you know, how to understand it properly, see it for what it is. And that person can't say do shit to you. That is gonna move you in any type of way emotionally.

Oleg C [01:37:40]:
Right.

Eldar [01:37:41]:
If you have that ability. Again, right. But again, we're talking about an individual who has the ability to set boundaries, right. Stand tall behind their truth.

Mike [01:37:50]:
Right.

Eldar [01:37:51]:
Have courage, have the ability of non attachment, not attaching himself to the outcome. So it's like, yo, we're friends now, but if you cross me, goodbye, no problem. It is what it is. Yeah. You know, so detachment, you know, and I think in a journey of philosophy and trying to figure out things with you, I think you realize that, yeah. Despite the fact that you are animalistic and you do have tendencies to gravity towards a herd.

Mike [01:38:16]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:38:17]:
You've come to find a philosophy that, yeah, you'll be very careful who the herd is. You know what I'm saying? It becomes a liability issue.

Oleg C [01:38:25]:
You, the hot tub, you imagine yourself fucking, you know, in the, in your backyard, you know, Catherine bringing you fucking sliced oranges, totally doing backflips into that shit. Right. But really you're just standing there closed. And I think also when you meet a new person, sometimes, whatever, again, it could be a love interest, could be a friend. Sometimes you're like, you already imagine, wow, we're clicking so much about this shit. You already imagine yourself, I don't know, with that person. I don't know, showing up at like, I don't know, a party. And you're drinking, this is back when he's the party.

Oleg C [01:39:00]:
But like you're drinking with your bodies, but also this person's party or crew, you know, like that's, it's like you, you basically have like an idealized version of it and you get to, yeah.

Mike [01:39:12]:
You get why you drawing those pictures in your head in the first place, right? Where you lacking that, you don't make yourself happy, that you need to take it somewhere else.

Eldar [01:39:19]:
Correct.

Mike [01:39:19]:
In the buzzing in the friendships and relationships, because to upkeep.

Eldar [01:39:22]:
What I'm saying is that ultimately, if you examine these things, right, the ideologies that he's talking about, like that perfect idea of this thing, thing to play out the way it does with all these variables together, to be perfect. Like, oh, me and my boys, everybody's here, girls are digging us, we're drinking, hanging out. It's not sustainable, especially from all sides of the variables that we're talking about.

Mike [01:39:41]:
Of course.

Eldar [01:39:42]:
You know what I mean?

Mike [01:39:43]:
Yeah.

Eldar [01:39:44]:
As you know, even in this, right? Even in this, like, yo, I think this is the best shit in the world. You do too, for the moment, but at some point, you know, you didn't and vice versa. And people walk away and people come back. You know what I'm saying? I think that the development process in our life and all the things that affect it point to the fact that we shouldn't even to this hold attachments to those individuals that come, come in and leave through this door, you know what I mean? Despite the fact that I think this is the best thing in the world.

Oleg C [01:40:14]:
Saying you in doing this is very hard. You know, I feel like a lot of times I'm skeptical about idea. Actually, Mike, he pointed out like one of the groups that I played with when they talked about a podcast, I was like, yo, I, this is something I kind of know someone about because I looked into this, I was gonna do my own thing. These are the considerations to look at. And everybody, yeah, whatever, fuck it, let's just do it. And then, and then like. And then when they wanted to do, I was like, you know, okay, fine, I respect it. I'm all a lot of times too much and analyzing, but people who are actually taking action, I'll be happy to be the person that's like gonna support it, to be the best possible thing you could be because you're already taking action.

Oleg C [01:40:59]:
I'll help move it forward, you know, like.

Eldar [01:41:01]:
Yes.

Oleg C [01:41:01]:
And yeah, somebody supportive role. Yeah, sure. Amazing, you know, humble. But then.

Eldar [01:41:14]:
Listen, guys, right, I slept.

Oleg C [01:41:16]:
Only 5 hours the last three days.

Eldar [01:41:18]:
Hold on. And only shit it once, twice.

Oleg C [01:41:21]:
But today, no, 5 hours and three days. Well, each day.

Eldar [01:41:24]:
Five.

Anatoliy [01:41:26]:
Yeah, I slept only 5 hours in three days.

Eldar [01:41:29]:
But you only functions on twelve if he's good. So.

Oleg C [01:41:33]:
So, right. Oh, we're talking about how the attachment comes really easily. So. Okay, so at this point I said that and. Right, that's like in the. Right, I'm being open minded. Someone, something is doing, it's something that I kind of support that vision. I don't know how they're gonna do it.

Oleg C [01:41:49]:
I think they didn't do the right considerations, but fuck it, I'll be along for the ride, I'll help it. And then, like, you're putting ideas in, you're pushing it through, you're taking action, you see other people or not, but. And then you all of a sudden, of course you feel because you start planning, you start talking and it's like, yo, which microphone should we get? Oh, let's get this one. You research it, you bring it in. I mean, you're already. You've already not committed, but you've already invested in it. Once you're invested in something, there's gonna be attachment. Right? That's how investment works.

Oleg C [01:42:23]:
You're a little bit attached.

Mike [01:42:24]:
Their word.

Eldar [01:42:25]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:42:26]:
Too early. And I do the same. And you think that they're gonna act, but you have to let them act first to see how bad they are first, before you give a hundred percent.

Eldar [01:42:35]:
If you know yourself, because Mike can give a thousand, that guy can do five.

Oleg C [01:42:40]:
So, same, same.

Eldar [01:42:41]:
There you go. Right. But if you don't know this and continue to lead with that, right, you should be saying, hey, oh, yeah, you guys got to get the mic. You guys gotta get this guy. Get this. And then I'll jump. And when I jump, I'll give all this. You know what I'm saying? So when there's an even exchange, you don't disrespect yourself.

Eldar [01:42:58]:
You no longer disrespect.

Oleg C [01:42:59]:
So I think I did.

Eldar [01:43:00]:
So you don't take people seriously for their word, but because you're gullible and because you have a horse in the race, because you need to fill up your own gaps, because you're an empty person. You rely on everything.

Oleg C [01:43:11]:
It's not always the word. It could be action too, right? Like, I don't. I don't know. This guy was telling Mike, yo, I'm gonna love you and be your friend forever. He was just being the friend.

Eldar [01:43:20]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:43:20]:
And he got attached to the. I don't know, whatever. Yeah, he wasn't promising, like. Yeah, like straight up.

Mike [01:43:27]:
No, no, no. I don't think he told me that. Yeah, I think it was just. We're hanging out, we're having fun. The thing is, the disrespect happens in a very subtle thing, especially if you're not paying attention.

Oleg C [01:43:40]:
But you sound like me.

Mike [01:43:42]:
But, yeah, it happens. And then eventually, on the hundredth time, maybe if you're lucky, you catch on. You're like, yo, what the fuck is happening here? But at that point, you already.

Oleg C [01:43:50]:
And, you know, happening.

Eldar [01:43:52]:
I mean, this.

Oleg C [01:43:53]:
You notice this person has been dripping it on over time, getting more bold, and you're like, what the. I have to kill you. And your whole face.

Mike [01:44:00]:
That's why it's important to.

Eldar [01:44:04]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:44:05]:
I mean, yeah, you have to pay attention when you meet.

Eldar [01:44:07]:
I mean, it comes down to the fact that you're probably not empowered and you're not independent. You don't know how to harvest your own energy or happiness.

Oleg C [01:44:17]:
Wait, but is this the same route? Like, because relationships, I feel like are sometimes different from everything else. Being, like, being not sure why you're accumulating points and going on trips. I mean, I understand it still comes down to your inner, you know, whatever value system or whatever, but it's like relationship. I don't know, I feel like it's a little bit different.

Mike [01:44:37]:
Buzzing is constantly want to do shit, but not really examining it.

Oleg C [01:44:41]:
Right.

Mike [01:44:42]:
It's the desire to not slow down, I guess, like, because if you do slow down.

Eldar [01:44:46]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:44:47]:
You don't know how to deal with that. That's the thing. Like, you know, instead of understanding where the pain is coming from, you just try to, like, cover it up with pleasure and. Versus sitting down and, like, thinking about or talking about it, you know? It's not like I didn't think to talk about it because maybe I was busy with other stuff or me, you know, maybe I was talking about all the stuff that I didn't think that this was actually a thing.

Eldar [01:45:08]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:45:08]:
I didn't recognize it at the time. But as I'm, you know, trying to work on myself and trying to, you know, be observant of things that are causing me, you know, suffering, I came upon this one. And, you know, because it's been a. It'll lives everywhere. It's probably lives in my day to day thing.

Oleg C [01:45:25]:
Everything manifestation.

Mike [01:45:26]:
I'm buzzing every day, you know? Buzzing every day. Yeah. So I think it just came to the point. I had other things that I was trying to solve, you know, and I'm solving those things, but then this thing is kind of also ruling a lot of my life.

Oleg C [01:45:43]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:45:43]:
It's a big thing, you know, and.

Eldar [01:45:45]:
It'S almost, it's almost like it's hidden now. Right. Because that, that buzzer, he knows we on to him, you know, like that buzzer, the thing that he's talking about, he's a buzzer, and he's gonna start buzzing on his own behind the scenes. That's like you talking about. Yeah, yeah. He's hiding behind the scenes doing something. Yeah. You understand? With an impression that he's doing something.

Eldar [01:46:10]:
Right. You know what I mean? Without actually examining step by step. Because what he's saying, on the other hand, is like, yo, I'm in personal development. If you're in personal development, holy shit, you gotta examine it all. You gotta lift every right. You. You can't leave a stone unturned.

Mike [01:46:25]:
No.

Oleg C [01:46:26]:
I like the idea of looking good. When you get, like, a concept and you're trying to apply it, but you're only applying it super. You're going through the motions, but you don't actually feel it, right? Talking about that?

Eldar [01:46:36]:
Yeah, that resonated with nobody in this room.

Oleg C [01:46:39]:
Suck my dick.

Eldar [01:46:43]:
I'm glad you have those choices. No, I didn't understand what you said. Something about a lipstick?

Oleg C [01:46:48]:
No, cuz you're saying Mike is gonna be like, doing it behind the scenes. So he's gonna act to you like he's being conscious, right, and not buzzing. Yeah, but he's actually, he's playing.

Eldar [01:47:04]:
The guy's hiding. There's a reason why that guy is not telling me that he's got a big trip coming up to Italy. Big true reason why he already booked this trip without telling me. Because I'm talking to him. I have a very intimate relationship with him every single day. And all of a sudden, this slips under the rug. Just FYI, you know, I'm going away. What? Where you going?

Oleg C [01:47:27]:
So I see the issues that you didn't declare to the head. I call member that you're leaving.

Eldar [01:47:33]:
You know what I'm saying? She needs to sign a permission slip, my man. You don't understand how this works at all.

Oleg C [01:47:37]:
How are you gonna take the doses of Kool Aid when you elder is bro?

Eldar [01:47:41]:
Gig is up, bro. You know, we all let him sit in the fucking and not lounge and fucking let him fucking get the pedicure with the fucking fish eating his fucking cuticles.

Oleg C [01:47:59]:
I imagine Mike in the shower on.

Eldar [01:48:01]:
The plane, rob the bank, bro.

Phillip [01:48:05]:
Have any teeth? It's just their lips, right?

Eldar [01:48:07]:
Just the lips.

Phillip [01:48:08]:
It's just.

Eldar [01:48:08]:
Understand what he wanted.

Phillip [01:48:09]:
No, I understand.

Eldar [01:48:09]:
And then all the fish are female.

Phillip [01:48:11]:
They said, I understand.

Eldar [01:48:13]:
You understand? He's just a little boy. You just want, you know. You understand what he wanted.

Phillip [01:48:18]:
He's wanted to dip his toe in a little bit.

Eldar [01:48:20]:
You know.

Phillip [01:48:22]:
He'S a froggy guy.

Oleg C [01:48:23]:
Damn, bro.

Eldar [01:48:24]:
You know what I'm saying? Who's actually playing the dungeons and dragons around here?

Oleg C [01:48:29]:
So is this an example of.

Eldar [01:48:31]:
I looked it up.

Phillip [01:48:32]:
There's pen and paper and dice.

Eldar [01:48:33]:
Not.

Phillip [01:48:33]:
And there's odd, odd, odd shaped dice.

Eldar [01:48:35]:
Like I thought on his desk.

Phillip [01:48:37]:
No, no, I looked it up.

Eldar [01:48:42]:
Yeah. If I fucking catch this guy behind the scenes and zoom with fucking acting on a fucking role playing with Oleg, bro, that's it.

Phillip [01:48:49]:
If I ever saw my. I saw Mike play dungeons and dragons, then I think the world is opposite than what I thought.

Eldar [01:48:54]:
Yeah, yeah. You gonna. You're gonna close back up, right? The shells go back to two meetings, you said, oh.

Oleg C [01:49:06]:
So is this an example of not buzzing? I had somebody, because, you know, like I said, I've kind of been into the podcast thing, and also I like the fantasy genre. Dungeons dragons, whatever. So there's this dude I kind of. I don't remember from some fucking social group or something I was talking to, and he's like, yo, I want to start this, like, YouTube podcast thing, whatever, like, relating to dungeons and dragons and fantasy and whatever. And he's like, oh, I heard you on, like, some whatever podcast. He's like, I like how you know your voice. Whatever, like, collaborator, right? So wait, he said to you?

Eldar [01:49:44]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:49:44]:
So I was like, okay, that. That obviously excites me. And I was. But I was like, you know what? Because I remember I learned my lesson when I tried to, like, do start the podcast. And I did it with, like, one friend who, you know, anytime you run an idea by him, he's like, nah, nah, that sucks. You know, that's, you know, never gives his own idea, you know?

Eldar [01:50:02]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:50:02]:
Or he'd be like, oh, how about this? We just hang out. We just turn it on. Okay, like, what about, like, more structure? And this is. No, bro. We want to be.

Mike [01:50:12]:
Have a free form.

Eldar [01:50:13]:
Whatever.

Oleg C [01:50:13]:
Yeah, free form. But anyway, so, yes, I was thinking back then, and I was like, wait, let me at least meet up. Like, I could start throwing around ideas, but let me. I sent the guy a few questions, and I remember one of them, like, kind of, like simple shit, but it was like, okay, so what. What, like, makes you different from other people who want to do this or what? What's. How is your idea different? It could even be something small, maybe.

Eldar [01:50:36]:
You tell me. You don't have to tell me all the other weird questions you asked them.

Oleg C [01:50:39]:
Whatever.

Eldar [01:50:40]:
This is a hundred percent an example of that. Because you created a gate. Yeah. You say, hey, these things might be important for me, and this motherfucker doesn't align to the shit. The gig is up.

Oleg C [01:50:50]:
I wanted to see, because he wants to, like, pilot this shit. I'm like, dude, to be honest, like, I'm too, like, right now, too anxious, OCD. I'll be happy to be a second and maybe become equal later if you want me to. Yeah, I'm ready to, like, get your vision, but, like, I want to see how far along you are with this thought process. And we met. I mean, cool guy, everything. But I saw basically, like, not serious.

Anatoliy [01:51:12]:
A dumb piece.

Oleg C [01:51:12]:
He didn't have any outline. He didn't have any, like, traction. And there. There was no. I don't even know what the word would be. I, too, fucking tired. But, like, there, there was no, like, gruffy, like, whatever. There's not even, like, a rough draft of what's going on, you know? It was just like, hey, let's think of something and get on, you know? And I'm like, this is just gonna frustrate the shit out of me because I'm gonna be always more prepared than the guy who I'm working for almost.

Eldar [01:51:41]:
Yes.

Oleg C [01:51:41]:
And that's. I can't be running very good.

Eldar [01:51:44]:
Force something good.

Oleg C [01:51:46]:
And then.

Eldar [01:51:47]:
Yeah, yeah.

Oleg C [01:51:48]:
And then basically I kind of faded out. Like, I, like, one time I. And then I decided, you know what? Like, I don't want to just disappear.

Eldar [01:51:55]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:51:55]:
I'm gonna actually just be authentic. And he, like, he's like, yo, dude, he wrote me this whole, right, like, he would just type shit in, chat GPT. It would spit something out. He would just, like, send it to me. And I'm like, what? I'm like, damn, you commit. I'm like, this just sounds like chat GPT, like, ideas. I'm like, I think this is what, like, a basic considerations for podcast or YouTube channel is. But, like, I really want to know from you again, what is the idea you want to do? And I'll support whatever idea, but just tell me the idea.

Oleg C [01:52:23]:
And then he just kind of never replied. And I'm like, fuck it. Like, that's my out because I'm not going to follow up with a person. But in general, I am that person when I get excited about something. Right. Like, even if you're getting scammed or whatever.

Eldar [01:52:35]:
Commitment. Yeah.

Oleg C [01:52:36]:
You trying to. I don't know. I'm looking for an apartment right now. You know, there's an email on Craigslist. I write it, and then somebody gives this, like, you know, obviously translated from another language thing. Sometimes I'm like, maybe I should give my phone number, you know, like, but.

Eldar [01:52:51]:
What do we learn there, bro? So, like, you fucking said everything.

Oleg C [01:52:58]:
No, very. Okay, easier example. You're selling something on Craigslist. You're gonna start getting messages.

Eldar [01:53:04]:
This is a spam.

Oleg C [01:53:07]:
No, my point is there's things that maybe. No, no, my. My point is, like, sometimes there's things you're not sure if it's a scam or not, but it's so enticing. You kind of might go with it, or you might go with it a step further than you would.

Eldar [01:53:22]:
I was fucking with you this whole time up until the scam. The Craigslist scam, bro.

Oleg C [01:53:26]:
Okay, so when I was in Russia, right, in 2017, I wanted to get it? I needed to get an apartment in Moscow. I was looking around, there was like, nice apartments. And I'm like, okay. And then I would reach out and some of these people, they just sounded scammy, right? It was like, send me a deposit. Then I could. I don't want to waste my time showing someone around who's not gonna send me a deposit. Okay, fine. But then one person I spoke to, we had, like, a whole long conversation and seemed like, pretty legit, okay.

Oleg C [01:53:51]:
But I probably would have seen the scamminess if I wasn't so excited about that nice, sexy apartment that was already imagining myself living in a good location and whatever. And I ended up sending him, like, whatever, 3000 rubles or whatever the fuck, like $50, you know? But yeah, I was scammed. But, like, I totally could have if I just really was like. So I'm saying, like, now, right? Like, they'll try to, like, mine you for your info or whatever. So I'll give a bit. That won't really matter. Hurt me. But, like, I should have just not even wasted my time of responding to the email.

Oleg C [01:54:26]:
I emailed the person the ad already. It's too, like, generic. I emailed them. They emailed some bullshit back. Like. But that excitement propels you, you know? So I'm saying that podcast, I really easily could have been the person.

Eldar [01:54:40]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:54:41]:
Where it's like red flag, but shit, maybe if I follow up with this guy, he's then gonna become the guy who's always replying and having ideas.

Eldar [01:54:49]:
Listen. So the question is, why did you do it this time? What was the trigger and what was the. Your inside of what did you slow down and have that ability to do it? Why did you respect yourself in that moment?

Oleg C [01:55:03]:
No, I think having enough.

Eldar [01:55:06]:
You slept enough?

Oleg C [01:55:07]:
No, just, just like, when you're disappointed enough in something, when you have, like, a lot of times, what causes change in people? It's like suffering. When you've suffered enough, you start like, okay, this time I'm gonna be a little more careful. This time maybe I'm gonna approach you differently.

Eldar [01:55:20]:
So, Mike, you bought, you want it? Yes. There's more suffering again. Mmm.

Mike [01:55:27]:
Well, I think when you're blind, I think more severance answer, but it's inevitable. It's more suffering is definitely inevitable if you're blind. If you're blind. But, I mean, I'm not.

Oleg C [01:55:38]:
But this was also very specific thing. I'm still, like, falling for dumb shit and leads around whatever. There's just specific things. Maybe I've learned, maybe Mike won't be, like, booking a trip or that quick to become boys with someone and, like, commit to it, but, like, there's. He's still probably going to be making that mistake in other.

Mike [01:55:57]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [01:55:58]:
Avenues.

Eldar [01:55:58]:
Right.

Oleg C [01:55:58]:
So you can just, like. I feel like just being like, all right.

Mike [01:56:00]:
No, I think getting to the core of it, you can limit the suffering, understanding why you do it. You know, it helps to decrease the suffering because.

Eldar [01:56:13]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:56:13]:
It'll help to break those automatic patterns.

Eldar [01:56:16]:
Well, I mean, we talked about the fact that you guys maybe in this. These examples are putting bets on other people fulfilling you somewhere. Yeah. In your life.

Oleg C [01:56:24]:
Phil's example didn't sound like he got too excited. It just sounded like he needed a solution for something he was worried about, and he took it.

Eldar [01:56:32]:
Which one?

Oleg C [01:56:33]:
The one about, you know, like, COVID curing walks and shit.

Eldar [01:56:37]:
Hmm. Yeah.

Mike [01:56:41]:
Oh, those thing is, I think is just probably. I think the core of it is not wanting to face yourself still is that you don't want to sit down with that pain and think about why are you suffering? And change that thing within you, so instead you do something to keep yourself busy and distracted.

Phillip [01:57:00]:
Yeah, I could have just watched tv. It could have been a similar thing. They wouldn't have got the benefits of, like, the physical.

Mike [01:57:07]:
So you found something that sounded good because walking, everybody would say, is good.

Eldar [01:57:11]:
Exactly.

Mike [01:57:11]:
But it still didn't solve the problem. It just, like, put a band aid on it, and eventually the band aid unraveled.

Eldar [01:57:18]:
You know?

Oleg C [01:57:20]:
Problem is what? Thinking that it's very easy for you to be some action that you're gonna take is all of a sudden gonna make you lazy, even though you're doing non lazy stuff in your life.

Mike [01:57:30]:
Oh, I don't think the action. I don't think the walking was. He thought it was laziness.

Oleg C [01:57:34]:
No, no. I'm saying his worry about being a lazy guy because of doing, like, one thing versus another.

Eldar [01:57:40]:
Yeah.

Mike [01:57:41]:
A lot of times these things are not rational. I don't think it's supposed to be.

Eldar [01:57:45]:
Well, but they make sense. If you really dig deeper, I think you'll find out there's reasons for why he. He created that in the first place. You know, plenty of. I think plenty of people live very legitimate kind of reasons. I'm not saying to necessarily serve them right if examined, but they definitely do, and they have. Oh, some people fight you tooth and nail. Just happened to be Philip.

Eldar [01:58:08]:
Maybe it was more open minded to a challenge from you. Right. And maybe, you know, you said you trusted him or looked up to him. Right. So you're like, okay, let me see what he's saying. You know what I mean? Then you apply that to yourself and thought otherwise, you know.

Oleg C [01:58:22]:
But is, does that make a difference? The fact that Mike seems to get, quote unquote, too excited for shit, that's what carries him away. Phil's thing is just he's doing stuff on unexamined.

Phillip [01:58:33]:
Oh, no, I'm excited about it too, though.

Mike [01:58:35]:
Yeah, he does like the walks. No, was excited.

Oleg C [01:58:39]:
I get it. But were you like, shit, what if I'm lazy? Oh, I don't want to get sick. Oh, I know, fucking walk sick. Like, is it that, you know, like, I feel like it's a very different type of thing where meeting a new friend or going on a trip. Like those are more like, we also.

Mike [01:58:54]:
Started the wits, we started to walk before the COVID thing.

Phillip [01:58:58]:
It was something I was already doing then. The pandemic basically put you in a position where like nothing's going on and you can't go outside, really. And then you're like, all right, like, I got to do something. So it's like, oh shit, I was doing this before, like now I can just reintroduce this thing again. And then I started to like it and I started to just do it on my own. I realized like, oh, like I like going to the city. It's like a mini vacation for me. Then I figured out like a coffee spot that I like.

Phillip [01:59:25]:
Then I figured out a neighborhood that I like. And I just like added new things like every time. So I was definitely excited every time I went. Yeah. So it's like I can do it now and I still like it, but now I'm not attached to it. Or I can now say, oh, a Saturday rolls around, the weather's not gonna be that good.

Eldar [01:59:41]:
I'm not gonna go in the rain. Self critic. No, I get it. Beating himself up.

Oleg C [01:59:45]:
No, I have very. Cuz you said you like, that's why don't watch anything all day, but watch all day. Like me, I just don't watch tv. And then sometimes I'm like fucking four or 5 hours, right. Or the walk too. Like I won't walk a little every day, but then one day or you'll be. Or it's like, fuck, it's eleven. I didn't even go outside today.

Oleg C [02:00:05]:
I was at the computer. I'm gonna sleep bad. Bam. Two hour walk right there. Like just, just even though I don't even want to go for a walk, you know, like it's, I see like it's almost out of desperation. Yeah, I see.

Eldar [02:00:21]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:00:21]:
I would say that's a good word to use for me.

Eldar [02:00:23]:
Desperate. Yeah.

Mike [02:00:28]:
So what is it then? What is it that I'm desperate to.

Eldar [02:00:31]:
Run from for me? So, I mean, ultimately from yourself, because you don't like yourself. If you internally don't like yourself, and you don't have the ability to fulfill yourself and go on internal adventures. Right. Internal adventures. Okay. In your own mind, you got to do external shit. Yeah.

Mike [02:00:46]:
See, the thing is, yes, I agree with you for sure on that. But also, if I reflect in the past few months, I have. I've definitely improved on that like, a hundred more time home, watching tv during the day, on the weekends, I have no problem. Like, I'm not always buzzing like I used to be as much. I think.

Eldar [02:01:07]:
Well, I think your value system has started changing. Yeah. You start seeing and shifting that. The interactions that you're having, because they're empowered. Interactions now very calculated. And you're able to extract what you need to extract from your family, which you love and care for. Right. You're now receiving back and you understanding that you have a wall.

Eldar [02:01:23]:
You're strong. You have no attachments to the outcomes. Yeah. But you can still fuck with them and enjoy yourself. You're empowered.

Mike [02:01:29]:
Well, that, yeah. Yeah.

Eldar [02:01:30]:
So you're able to go into those.

Oleg C [02:01:32]:
How is this loving you learning to love yourself more?

Eldar [02:01:35]:
That's it. Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

Mike [02:01:39]:
I think even, like, I'll be tired.

Eldar [02:01:42]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:01:43]:
Physically, and I won't respect that because my mind's like, yo, it's 09:00 we can still go to the city, do a fucking walk.

Eldar [02:01:50]:
Mike is notorious to keep asking about what's the next move? What's the next plan? We haven't even finished this one. He's already on to the next one. Yeah.

Mike [02:01:59]:
What are we doing after this podcast? We're gonna eat, but after that, maybe you want to.

Eldar [02:02:03]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:02:03]:
Nitzel stand.

Eldar [02:02:04]:
And he's already serving everybody here. He's in my ear about something. He's in Phillips here about something. He's telling Tony about something. He's got plans going on, and he's selling like he's a salesman, selling us stuff. And like, okay, I'll buy this one, and then Philip will buy something else. Like, I don't want that one. You know what I mean? It's a constant flow of things.

Mike [02:02:22]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:02:23]:
You know?

Oleg C [02:02:24]:
Wait, is some part of that authentic mike? And he's just a mover, and it's good.

Eldar [02:02:28]:
Oh, a hundred percent.

Oleg C [02:02:29]:
But it's just driven by this, like, 100%.

Mike [02:02:32]:
Some part of it is not fuel. The thing is.

Eldar [02:02:34]:
Yeah, but the problem is into trouble sometimes. Yeah. He says that it translates into certain relationship things.

Oleg C [02:02:40]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:02:41]:
That then don't serve him. Yeah. No, if, like I said, if he uses his hammer to hammer a nail every time, great. But he's breaking windows. You know what I'm saying? On the other hand, and that's the problem that he's having, is like, yo, I like to buzz, but it gets me in trouble.

Oleg C [02:02:56]:
I won't say it's. He has a hammer, but instead of, like, tapping, he's just fucking going crazy every time.

Eldar [02:03:02]:
That's great.

Oleg C [02:03:04]:
You know, because it's. It's like, not even necessarily like he needs a different tool. He's just over using the tool.

Mike [02:03:10]:
Like, you know, I'm misusing the tool.

Oleg C [02:03:12]:
Like, you could be extroverted.

Eldar [02:03:13]:
Yes.

Oleg C [02:03:14]:
You're using it to make connections, friends.

Eldar [02:03:16]:
Cool.

Oleg C [02:03:16]:
But if you're just fucking putting yourself out to every single person.

Eldar [02:03:19]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:03:20]:
Now they all fucking in your life. Right. Yeah. You'll know. Slut shaming bro pride month or whatever.

Eldar [02:03:30]:
Yeah. And what happens is. And what happens is that if he doesn't have established. If he doesn't have established self respect and knowing how to set boundaries, those individuals who are not conscious in a different place in their life, of their development will violate him, which he then later finds out about. He's like, oh, shit, I was wrong. Yeah, well, they're bad people.

Oleg C [02:03:52]:
Setting boundaries. That sounds like a more practical thing because, like, you're saying, like, right. Suffer more. Whatever. Like, I would be interested in hear more. I know, but you kind of like, oh, deflected. I'm saying would be interesting to hear more things like that. A practical.

Oleg C [02:04:09]:
Extending boundaries. Because setting boundaries.

Eldar [02:04:11]:
We came to. That is a thing. We came to that conclusion of suffer more many, many, many times.

Oleg C [02:04:16]:
I understand. Yeah.

Eldar [02:04:16]:
Okay. So it's not like a new thing.

Oleg C [02:04:18]:
I guess it's like.

Eldar [02:04:19]:
But there are practical ways. For sure.

Oleg C [02:04:21]:
There is a practice.

Eldar [02:04:22]:
Yeah, for sure.

Mike [02:04:23]:
Sure. In the length of suffering.

Eldar [02:04:25]:
Short, 100% prevent.

Mike [02:04:26]:
I know that I'm not gonna be able to, like, all of a sudden.

Eldar [02:04:29]:
You'Re not gonna bat a tower.

Mike [02:04:30]:
I'm gonna be no more buzzing just because I decided I'm gonna get in trouble. But I'd like to have less instances, much less. And I'd like to be in control much more.

Eldar [02:04:39]:
Yeah. There's nothing wrong with coming up and saying. It's saying to yourself and being honest. Like, yo, we bought a buzz, let's see this. But then seeing the angles around it as to what the consequences might be. Yeah. And then pad them. Pad the consequences for yourself.

Eldar [02:04:51]:
If it's not that fun. Okay. Then you're an idiot. Then you're risk taking, if you will, to probably fall in that area where you didn't pad. Then it's on you. Don't come crying again. Get to a point where like, you can take responsibility for your actions and then don't bitch about it. Yeah, you can complain about it.

Eldar [02:05:08]:
You made that choice.

Oleg C [02:05:11]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:05:13]:
If you want to be a conscious idiot, that's okay. I think that's perfectly fine. I'm just not sure who's signing up, like, courageous. Sure. You always wanted to be a hero in the story. Most. Most characters who play as heroes like the fuck shit up.

Oleg C [02:05:30]:
No, they just NPC, like sweeping the shit. Yeah, I heard of.

Phillip [02:05:36]:
This isn't like grand theft auto.

Eldar [02:05:38]:
That's not an ev, right? That's not the guy that mines minerals.

Oleg C [02:05:42]:
No, it's like, it's like.

Eldar [02:05:44]:
Ready? Yes.

Anatoliy [02:05:45]:
Yeah, it's that guy.

Eldar [02:05:46]:
It's that guy. He just mines minerals.

Anatoliy [02:05:48]:
Yeah, he's an.

Oleg C [02:05:48]:
It's like in Tetris.

Eldar [02:05:50]:
Just mines minerals.

Anatoliy [02:05:51]:
NPC's a non player character. It's something that happens in the game.

Eldar [02:05:56]:
Oh, no, no.

Anatoliy [02:05:57]:
That is not a serial player.

Eldar [02:05:58]:
No SCV built shit. He fucks it up, bro.

Anatoliy [02:06:01]:
No, but an actual, like a player.

Eldar [02:06:03]:
He's like the chicken or the bonds and counter strike.

Anatoliy [02:06:09]:
The what?

Eldar [02:06:09]:
The soccer ball and counter strike.

Oleg C [02:06:11]:
Is that the chicken? That's just like.

Anatoliy [02:06:14]:
Yes, yes.

Oleg C [02:06:16]:
That's the only NP sort of saying.

Eldar [02:06:19]:
So I understand it now.

Oleg C [02:06:20]:
Is counter strike the only game you've ever played?

Eldar [02:06:22]:
Are you crazy, bro? Unreal tournament. Counter strike. Starcraft. Okay. Might help me. Arkanoid. You know what Arkanoid is?

Oleg C [02:06:32]:
I play Arkan.

Eldar [02:06:35]:
That little. That little stick that goes back and forth and the ball falls and you're hitting the fucking clouds.

Oleg C [02:06:39]:
I feel like it's that encounter strike.

Mike [02:06:42]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:06:42]:
Unreal. Turn was number one. Yeah.

Mike [02:06:43]:
Also playstations.

Oleg C [02:06:47]:
Oh, yeah, PlayStations.

Mike [02:06:49]:
So sonic.

Eldar [02:06:51]:
All right, Mike, what's up? What do you want?

Mike [02:06:53]:
So where am I aggression to? Why am I not happy with myself then, that I'm trying to get away? Or is it like we were saying, it's the remaining from identity.

Eldar [02:07:05]:
Mm hmm.

Mike [02:07:06]:
But I think about it, you know, obviously. Now I have to ask myself, is it remaining or I still. Or I still feel like I'm missing something? Like I'm not sure yeah.

Eldar [02:07:15]:
I think raising awareness probably would be the remedy to this more than anything. Just raising awareness to yourself about. Yeah. When you do it, I don't think like you have to worry about. I think the origin, like I said.

Oleg C [02:07:28]:
Raising awareness is what. Being mindful, paying attention when.

Eldar [02:07:32]:
Yeah, just saying that this is what's going on. Right.

Oleg C [02:07:34]:
Is that what, mindfulness.

Eldar [02:07:35]:
Sure. Yeah. Be mindful in a moment.

Oleg C [02:07:38]:
Like noticing it.

Eldar [02:07:39]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can employ all your. So you can employ us, for example, to point it out. Yo, what's up? You buzzing? Yeah, yeah. You know, I think if you raise enough awareness because you already made a choice, I think you're not here saying like, yo, guys, I really like this about myself and I'd like to. It seems like you don't want to in that way because the consequence.

Mike [02:08:00]:
But I guess harsh that I guess the underlying issues that I'm not happy. But if I solve this, then will that make me happier?

Oleg C [02:08:09]:
Um, I don't solve it or that's.

Mike [02:08:12]:
Not how it works.

Eldar [02:08:15]:
I don't think you solve it.

Oleg C [02:08:16]:
You like get better at managing.

Eldar [02:08:17]:
No, no, no. I don't think it's management either. I think that the focus of the new character has to be emphasized and that's the empowerment that will put away all the other nonsense and then you can only employ it, I think, when you hundred percent sure that you know what you're doing and you conscious. We talked about this. Yeah. That you consciously doing it. Knowing where you're going and you know where the stop sign is.

Mike [02:08:39]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:08:40]:
Past the stop sign, you'll never go because you know that's dangerous. But first you have to be empowered that you have this ability. And in order to be empowered to have this ability, you have to practice right now.

Oleg C [02:08:51]:
Say, how do you practice?

Eldar [02:08:52]:
Right. So yes.

Oleg C [02:08:53]:
To wait for a moment.

Eldar [02:08:54]:
100%.

Mike [02:08:55]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:08:56]:
No, there's plenty of moments.

Oleg C [02:08:58]:
Is there any exercise you could do? Like, you know, each time you feeling it, write down three things. Something. Some.

Eldar [02:09:02]:
Yeah, that's what they teach me over there.

Oleg C [02:09:04]:
No, I'm just wondering like if there's something practical.

Eldar [02:09:07]:
Christian mingle.

Mike [02:09:08]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:09:11]:
Holy shit.

Oleg C [02:09:12]:
You on that too?

Eldar [02:09:13]:
Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I think that's it.

Oleg C [02:09:21]:
And don't do drugs.

Eldar [02:09:23]:
Yeah, that won't help.

Mike [02:09:25]:
Why not?

Eldar [02:09:26]:
No.

Oleg C [02:09:26]:
Maybe it will actually do. Yeah, do psychedelic drugs for sure. Yeah, I definitely don't want to do work. Do psychedelic drugs. It'll do.

Eldar [02:09:37]:
I don't know what kind of gender came in here. He's trying to overthrow aldrism.

Mike [02:09:40]:
Yeah, he did say oligism earlier, so I think he did.

Oleg C [02:09:43]:
I wanted to.

Anatoliy [02:09:45]:
Enemy.

Eldar [02:09:45]:
Yes.

Oleg C [02:09:46]:
I dropped it to see how, you know, kind of like, resonates. Yeah, resonate. And I'll wait a little bit.

Eldar [02:09:52]:
Now that we know intimate details about what you do over there in somebody else's basement, this is gonna be very hard for us.

Oleg C [02:10:01]:
I don't think I've ever.

Eldar [02:10:02]:
Not well lit room. It is not a well.

Anatoliy [02:10:06]:
Dwarfs are present.

Eldar [02:10:08]:
There's fucking candles, a rustic shuttle cloak.

Mike [02:10:15]:
The lights are definitely.

Oleg C [02:10:16]:
That would be a dream.

Eldar [02:10:20]:
If you catch a boner in the middle of it, you can't see it.

Oleg C [02:10:23]:
I've never played in a non well lit room, and I've never played in a basement.

Anatoliy [02:10:27]:
If you order, you've had a boner.

Eldar [02:10:30]:
Well, you have.

Anatoliy [02:10:31]:
What do you mean?

Oleg C [02:10:32]:
That's part of the game. You're supposed to.

Anatoliy [02:10:36]:
The game only starts.

Eldar [02:10:41]:
That's when you roll the duckies. So everybody's.

Oleg C [02:10:47]:
We pass around the pocket. Mike's first question, he goes, do you play that? Would you say, do you have your. Are you in your underwear?

Eldar [02:10:58]:
Like, you almost signed up for something you don't know nothing about?

Mike [02:11:02]:
What?

Eldar [02:11:03]:
Can you believe this shit?

Mike [02:11:04]:
Me sign up for what?

Eldar [02:11:05]:
For this dungeon shit?

Mike [02:11:06]:
Are you crazy?

Anatoliy [02:11:07]:
No, what?

Eldar [02:11:08]:
What do you mean?

Oleg C [02:11:09]:
Mike's playing 100% understand?

Anatoliy [02:11:11]:
This never happened. If this never happened, he would have went.

Mike [02:11:15]:
No chance.

Anatoliy [02:11:15]:
Hundred percent.

Oleg C [02:11:16]:
Mike is already in the group.

Eldar [02:11:20]:
What's the usual process when you want to, like, recruit somebody? Can you divulge?

Oleg C [02:11:25]:
You try to get to know, like, their interests, where they stay at night and shit?

Phillip [02:11:29]:
I think you're a van. I picture a van and the door.

Eldar [02:11:31]:
Opens and you throw.

Anatoliy [02:11:35]:
Yeah, smoked it.

Oleg C [02:11:39]:
You know?

Eldar [02:11:40]:
Is there hazing process? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Oleg C [02:11:42]:
Yes.

Anatoliy [02:11:46]:
Do you, like, order food and make food while you're doing this or not?

Oleg C [02:11:49]:
Like, most of the time you're just making food and shit. Linguistic like linguist. You're like, yo, what are we making today at bananas and chicken or whatever? And then you fucking cook again.

Phillip [02:12:03]:
I looked it up. It said, there's a pen and a pad with dice. I just watched the video on it.

Eldar [02:12:07]:
Okay?

Oleg C [02:12:07]:
This reminds me, like, you know, there's people with this disorder where they can't see a person's face. They see an eye and nose.

Eldar [02:12:13]:
What?

Oleg C [02:12:13]:
They can't put it together.

Eldar [02:12:14]:
What?

Oleg C [02:12:15]:
Yeah, there's a disorder. So that's like you guys putting this together. You said dice. You're like, I heard there's a pen and a paper.

Eldar [02:12:20]:
No, you're trying to say, I'll put a. Put a tail on the dunk.

Oleg C [02:12:22]:
It's, like, all discombobulated. Yeah, if you want. What are you, italian or something? The tail on the donkey.

Eldar [02:12:32]:
Yeah. Ollie, thank you for letting us in, into your world.

Oleg C [02:12:35]:
Oh, bro, that's. I didn't let you in.

Eldar [02:12:37]:
I basically barged in.

Oleg C [02:12:39]:
I showed you the.

Eldar [02:12:40]:
Did we kick the door in the saloon, or.

Oleg C [02:12:42]:
No, no. You asked me, yo, which way to Oleg's. Whatever, and I showed you the street.

Eldar [02:12:46]:
Yes.

Oleg C [02:12:47]:
You didn't even see the entrance.

Eldar [02:12:50]:
If the conclusion is you pointing the finger at others, you probably got it wrong.

Oleg C [02:12:57]:
So elder, always the one that gives.

Mike [02:12:59]:
Is that a statement, a question or.

Eldar [02:13:01]:
Observation, whichever way you spin it. If I make a statement, if I make a question, you can't jump over it.

Mike [02:13:08]:
No, no, I'm willing to know if that relates to me.

Eldar [02:13:10]:
No, it relates to everybody. Wait.

Oleg C [02:13:13]:
But in general, and also development, if you point a finger at someone else.

Mike [02:13:16]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:13:16]:
It's not the right way.

Eldar [02:13:18]:
Correct.

Oleg C [02:13:19]:
Right.

Eldar [02:13:19]:
That's like, that's what I just extracted that based on. Yeah, it's very hard, easier. But a lot of times, the way we make conclusions about these things when this happens to us is to point the finger. A lot of times. Right. Because we're the good guy. We're the good guys. We did something, right? We did something, you know, we held our end of the bargain.

Eldar [02:13:39]:
Like you said, yo, yo, I was there, ready with pen and paper and.

Oleg C [02:13:42]:
A die Mike and I, like, for the last, I don't know, three, four days, like an audio message. We were discussing that thing. Like, when you're doing, like, that would be maybe an interesting. Even, like, podcasting. When you're doing everything right, you're being accountable, you're showing up on time, you're following through. Somebody actually else asked you for a favor, let's say. And you're saying, yeah, oh, get me oranges from the supermarket. Okay, how many? Right? Like.

Oleg C [02:14:06]:
And then that person is the one not responding.

Eldar [02:14:08]:
That's the thing. The problem, the reason why you're doing. The reason why you're doing it is not the reason why you're not. You're not of service on the selfless service path. You wanna. On an outcome path.

Oleg C [02:14:19]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:14:19]:
And that is the difference. If you did not have attachment to the outcome, then I think that you would have aided them selflessly and you wouldn't fell on the same pit.

Oleg C [02:14:31]:
So that's where you're coming from.

Eldar [02:14:33]:
Yeah, yeah. The. I guess the intent. Intention, right, the intention. So, like, at the end of it is like, I'll do it, but. But right around the corner, I want you to do X, Y and Z as well. I. Yeah.

Oleg C [02:14:46]:
Or it's. You're doing. You're showing up on time, you're calling people back, but it's just to judge others for not. That's right. That's right.

Eldar [02:14:55]:
That's right.

Oleg C [02:14:56]:
I told you I did that landmark forum thing. They talk about that shit, like, rackets and stories and, like, it's like I. I have this characteristic. And then you supposed, like, there's the exercise. That's in order to.

Eldar [02:15:08]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:15:08]:
Figure out that most of your shit you do is because of, like, one to one or two or three. In order to, like, basically, in order to look good or in order to feel like I'm in control while other people don't have their shit together.

Eldar [02:15:21]:
Correct.

Oleg C [02:15:23]:
You know, and so on. And then I think you're supposed to accept you're not gonna cure that. You kind of accept it, but then you start creating another way. I don't know. For me, it's almost. I understand how to acknowledge and learn that faults, for me, always the difficulty is, like, how do I, where do I go from here to get better?

Eldar [02:15:43]:
Right?

Oleg C [02:15:44]:
And I think that's.

Eldar [02:15:46]:
I think that the acknowledgement of being a piece of chef person helps. No, it's not the cure all, because it's very short lived, but long enough. If you acknowledge that your behavior is very selfish behavior, you quickly find out that you don't want that part of you to live.

Oleg C [02:16:05]:
How, with the trip? How is Mike's behavior very selfish? I mean, obviously it's indulgent, but no.

Eldar [02:16:12]:
Yeah, well, no words talking about things, right? Relationships. I don't care if he goes. You know, I'm saying.

Oleg C [02:16:22]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:16:23]:
However, I care if he goes and he hurts himself.

Oleg C [02:16:27]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:16:27]:
You know what I'm saying? I'm like, oh, like, that's not the plan here. You know what I mean? Why would you hurt yourself and feel more lonely or whatever. Whatever it is. Yeah, but if he goes, that's like, there's no, there's no attachment there. I don't have an attachment. He doesn't have attached towards me.

Oleg C [02:16:41]:
No.

Eldar [02:16:41]:
The only person you can blame, there's himself. There's no, there's no link. Well, I'm talking about more. So about pointing the finger.

Oleg C [02:16:47]:
I get it. So pointing the finger with this guy who suddenly disrespects him makes sense, right? He's like, pointing.

Eldar [02:16:53]:
Which.

Oleg C [02:16:53]:
There's someone.

Phillip [02:16:53]:
A point of figure.

Oleg C [02:16:54]:
Well, he, the one he was talking about is one of his examples. He made friends with somebody who, over time, started subtly disrespecting him. And he thought he rushed into that French.

Eldar [02:17:02]:
Oh, I talked about the Italy trip. I was thinking about something else.

Oleg C [02:17:05]:
No, I understand. I'm talking about this, that. I get it. Where you point your finger. Hey, this guy disrespect me. That's why.

Eldar [02:17:11]:
Right.

Oleg C [02:17:12]:
Instead of thinking about what you did wrong in the thing.

Eldar [02:17:14]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:17:15]:
I'm saying with the trip, there is no one. He's pointing.

Eldar [02:17:18]:
There is no.

Oleg C [02:17:19]:
So where is he going wrong there?

Eldar [02:17:21]:
He's pointing finger himself. It's. It's a loop. It's a, it's a closed loop.

Oleg C [02:17:26]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:17:28]:
He's asking himself, wait a second. I booked a trip. Yeah, I buzzed about it. I love doing this. And then the trip is around the corner. Oh, I'm leaving in the week.

Oleg C [02:17:41]:
Oh, yeah, my guy.

Eldar [02:17:43]:
My guys are here. My station is here. Elders, I'm here. Elder, you want to come with me? Oh, no. Yeah.

Oleg C [02:17:51]:
Cuz I don't think you ever told us that part of the story. What made you cancel the trip?

Eldar [02:17:55]:
You both said it, bro.

Oleg C [02:17:56]:
It was around the corner.

Mike [02:17:57]:
Yeah, okay.

Oleg C [02:17:59]:
Wasn't around the corner, but whatever. You, a week passed since you booked, right? Sometime, and then you noticed. Shit, I don't want to go by myself. Yeah, okay.

Eldar [02:18:09]:
You start asking all the people. So, yeah, you. Can you come?

Oleg C [02:18:12]:
Can you come think to yourself, wait, why did I book this if I don't want to go alone? At the time, you didn't say I booked it. Now I'm going along. Fuck, I gotta improvise. I got to get more motherfuckers in love.

Eldar [02:18:25]:
Yeah. And then we realized I can't, can't get more motherfuckers involved.

Oleg C [02:18:29]:
He's like, yeah, I'm going alone.

Eldar [02:18:30]:
That's the reality. The reality sunk in, and he can't point the finger at anybody. Nobody's to blame.

Oleg C [02:18:35]:
But if he told you and you said, yeah, I'll come. Is he, is he, did he still do go about this the wrong way?

Eldar [02:18:41]:
It is, yes, because he's still. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing.

Mike [02:18:46]:
Right.

Eldar [02:18:46]:
I'm actually enabling him.

Oleg C [02:18:48]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:18:48]:
Subconsciously. I don't even know about this information. But he, the way he did it was impulsively. And now he's trying to gather people. You know what I'm saying? Now, if I go, he'll never, he'll never look at the strip as a, as a thing that he did. Instead he looks at it now as a learning lesson, and he comes out of it from it on top by making a decision of canceling right away. He was really excited to cancel it right. Right away.

Eldar [02:19:09]:
Yeah, I'm done. And he's no longer has the weight on the shoulders that he has to carry. Thinking about that. He's going by himself.

Phillip [02:19:16]:
Is Mike more of a dungeon master or a player?

Mike [02:19:19]:
You're NPC.

Phillip [02:19:21]:
You're an NPC.

Eldar [02:19:24]:
Life just happens to you. Right, Mike? No, in this world. Okay, good. In this example, maybe you should go there and fuck shit up, man.

Phillip [02:19:33]:
I think you do a great job.

Oleg C [02:19:34]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:19:36]:
I wouldn't go myself. It's just different. It's different when you can bounce your energy over somebody else.

Phillip [02:19:42]:
And so why don't we do a special podcast? Dungeon and Dragons edition.

Eldar [02:19:45]:
Hell, yeah.

Phillip [02:19:46]:
Right?

Eldar [02:19:46]:
Yeah. He be our master.

Phillip [02:19:48]:
I think we do.

Eldar [02:19:48]:
Well. Yeah, I'm fucking down, bro. You don't understand.

Phillip [02:19:52]:
All right, so, olig, bring us the supplies.

Mike [02:19:53]:
Let's do the problem.

Eldar [02:19:54]:
Reinvent something.

Anatoliy [02:19:56]:
Like laugh way too hard.

Eldar [02:19:58]:
It's gonna. And the whole fucking shit's gonna turn upside down.

Phillip [02:20:00]:
I think it's good, though, guys.

Oleg C [02:20:02]:
No, no, you gotta get, like, I can, like, look, look, he's trying to.

Eldar [02:20:07]:
Have the gate now. You know what I'm saying? Here we are. You know, we're serious about this shit. We bout to fuck shit up. I want to try this motherfucker, like, oh, no, no, look at my gate. You know what I mean?

Oleg C [02:20:16]:
You're not ready for help. People explain to people stuff. They're genuinely interested.

Eldar [02:20:20]:
I would need you to be like, we are pointing you right now. We appoint you to be a master.

Oleg C [02:20:26]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:20:29]:
Gonna be the best fucking thing. Fucked up.

Phillip [02:20:33]:
But you don't like what?

Mike [02:20:34]:
Being the DM dungeon master.

Phillip [02:20:36]:
Oh, you just don't like the role that you're playing. So, Michael, be the DM.

Oleg C [02:20:40]:
Yeah. You can literally buy a beginner's kit.

Eldar [02:20:43]:
Who would you appoint?

Oleg C [02:20:44]:
If you guys order one? Yeah, I'll show you how.

Eldar [02:20:48]:
Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:20:49]:
Hundred percent would be the DM, though.

Eldar [02:20:58]:
Going on. I'm down as the DM. Gets to participate in all the roles.

Oleg C [02:21:02]:
No, he's like the.

Phillip [02:21:04]:
He's like the director, right?

Eldar [02:21:05]:
I want to be like.

Oleg C [02:21:05]:
He tells you what's going on in the story.

Eldar [02:21:07]:
Oh, no, he just setting. Fuck that. That's boring shit. I want to be in it. Maybe.

Oleg C [02:21:12]:
I think for you, maybe live action role play would be. Yeah, you make chain mail and just go, fuck motherfuckers up with swords.

Eldar [02:21:20]:
Release my anger in Scotland? Yeah.

Oleg C [02:21:24]:
Storming castles and shit, bro, you watch a lot of porn, right? Do you know this porn star, Kieran Lee?

Eldar [02:21:31]:
I don't know them by me.

Oleg C [02:21:32]:
Anybody ever tell you, is this a dungeon and dragon? Just looking you right now. I know.

Phillip [02:21:35]:
Is this a dungeon and dragon skin? That was random.

Oleg C [02:21:39]:
No, you just look like you're in fucking Lee, bro.

Eldar [02:21:41]:
Shit. All right. No, does. Yeah. Does he have girth or does he have length?

Oleg C [02:21:46]:
I don't. I don't really pay attention. I just.

Phillip [02:21:48]:
This is part of setting up.

Eldar [02:21:50]:
I have neither, bro.

Oleg C [02:21:52]:
He's, like, in all the porn mood.

Eldar [02:21:54]:
He fucks up.

Oleg C [02:21:54]:
Had his choose, though.

Phillip [02:21:56]:
You see, he looks like elder.

Eldar [02:21:58]:
He's.

Oleg C [02:21:58]:
He has, like, an english accent, you.

Eldar [02:22:00]:
Know, I thought he said was a woman. Guys, foreign stuff.

Phillip [02:22:05]:
That's what I thought.

Oleg C [02:22:06]:
Well, yeah, Johnny.

Phillip [02:22:09]:
Everybody know the person by name.

Eldar [02:22:11]:
I know. Is. What's his name? Ron Jeremy. And that's like, he's sitting right here. Who work for Mike.

Mike [02:22:31]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:22:33]:
Wait, before the rape or what? Before or during the rape.

Phillip [02:22:37]:
So a porn star. A male porn star looks like Eldar?

Oleg C [02:22:40]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:22:41]:
Can you pull him up? So you're in, Lee?

Oleg C [02:22:42]:
Yeah, pull that shit out.

Eldar [02:22:43]:
Yeah, but show a good scene. Don't show that fucking.

Phillip [02:22:48]:
Is he a gay porn guy or real guy?

Eldar [02:22:50]:
He's a.

Phillip [02:22:51]:
He bangs girl.

Eldar [02:22:52]:
Come on.

Oleg C [02:22:54]:
Any human male knows who this is.

Eldar [02:22:59]:
If they. Let's see who is.

Phillip [02:23:01]:
He's black or white.

Mike [02:23:04]:
He's yellow.

Anatoliy [02:23:07]:
We don't discriminate here.

Phillip [02:23:11]:
Mike, you know this guy?

Anatoliy [02:23:12]:
Yeah, I've definitely seen this guy.

Eldar [02:23:14]:
Yeah? Let me see. Hell.

Phillip [02:23:15]:
Do you know this guy?

Eldar [02:23:16]:
Wait a second.

Phillip [02:23:17]:
I've never seen.

Eldar [02:23:18]:
Let me look. He knows him by me. NPC.

Phillip [02:23:25]:
I definitely heard. No, I have an iPad.

Eldar [02:23:28]:
I'm a knockoff. Are you crazy? What's the matter with you? We elder.

Phillip [02:23:35]:
You elder. You've seen this guy? No, I've never seen him in my life. Like, I've seen. I've watched porn.

Oleg C [02:23:40]:
These guys.

Eldar [02:23:42]:
Porn. I've never seen this guy.

Oleg C [02:23:43]:
No. Fat ass motherfuckers.

Phillip [02:23:47]:
He like subscription.

Eldar [02:23:49]:
Oh, my God. Yes.

Oleg C [02:23:51]:
No, like, it's like. Yo, do you know. Okay. Do you know Lisa Ann?

Eldar [02:23:55]:
I don't know them by name, bro.

Phillip [02:23:56]:
I don't know by name either.

Oleg C [02:23:57]:
Yeah, but that's bullshit, yo. When you're searching a million times and that word popping up, it gets ingrained in your.

Phillip [02:24:06]:
Yeah, I searched, like. Like amateur spit roast or something.

Oleg C [02:24:11]:
I'm not into Amish. Maybe you're looking at all that homemade shit, you know, like when I type it in.

Phillip [02:24:17]:
I type in, like, what I'm actually looking for. I don't care who it is. Yeah, yeah. I'm watching his genre.

Eldar [02:24:22]:
Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Oleg C [02:24:30]:
You're watching porn. The girl has her.

Eldar [02:24:32]:
Well, that's the beginning of it, bro. Yeah. If this shit matches, then you're like, okay, I want to see what the camel told.

Oleg C [02:24:38]:
For me, that's, like, a negative thing.

Eldar [02:24:40]:
What? Yeah, you start with balls in your mouth.

Oleg C [02:24:44]:
Like, you start with balls in your mouth.

Eldar [02:24:49]:
Holy shit.

Phillip [02:24:50]:
Wait, Mike, you know them by name?

Mike [02:24:52]:
Yeah, I know.

Eldar [02:24:53]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:24:53]:
Interesting.

Oleg C [02:24:54]:
Any person.

Mike [02:24:55]:
That's why I don't know, like.

Oleg C [02:25:03]:
His name. I had to look up because I was like. I was like, look at. Although I was like, I thought about it a few times before. I was like, he looks like this guy. And then I'm like, male porn stars. And I had a bunch of. And I was, like, looking through my Google images, and then I saw one, and I clicked, and it had his name.

Phillip [02:25:17]:
I got a kind of a weird question. So, when you've jerked off before, is elder ever come up in your thoughts?

Eldar [02:25:21]:
Oh, my God.

Oleg C [02:25:23]:
Holy counterclockwise question. When you jerk off to porn, are you jerking off to the male porn star? The female?

Phillip [02:25:31]:
I don't really jerk off the porn that much anymore.

Anatoliy [02:25:33]:
To the plant in the.

Phillip [02:25:36]:
Yeah, it's more about this. It's more about, like, the scene in general. Like, the reaction.

Mike [02:25:39]:
This podcast took a turn.

Eldar [02:25:41]:
I like the reaction. Yeah.

Oleg C [02:25:42]:
I don't know.

Eldar [02:25:42]:
I.

Oleg C [02:25:43]:
Well, yeah, I don't jerk off to the male, so.

Phillip [02:25:46]:
Yeah, but they can just be coming in. Like, they can be coming into the story. So maybe you're not pleasing yourself to the thought of Eldar. Like, maybe he's in the background.

Oleg C [02:25:54]:
Well, it gives me a strange sense of, like, a familiarity, and I see, like, my.

Mike [02:26:08]:
Know what they recognize.

Oleg C [02:26:09]:
Yeah. Maybe it's a pie shop and there's a grandma somewhere and behind the counter, and you feel like, oh, that's your grandma.

Eldar [02:26:17]:
You know? See?

Phillip [02:26:18]:
Aren't we creating a world right now? So, are we playing dungeons and dragons?

Eldar [02:26:20]:
Holy.

Phillip [02:26:22]:
Right. We're creating a story.

Eldar [02:26:23]:
This is from nothing. This is not. Yeah, exactly.

Oleg C [02:26:26]:
In this story is creating.

Eldar [02:26:28]:
Mm hmm. Right.

Phillip [02:26:30]:
We're doing something.

Eldar [02:26:31]:
Creator doing it.

Phillip [02:26:31]:
I still do want to play. I think we'd be good at it.

Eldar [02:26:33]:
Honestly.

Phillip [02:26:34]:
No joke. I think we actually be good at it.

Eldar [02:26:36]:
Yeah. But, like, to the game upside down. Yeah, yeah.

Anatoliy [02:26:40]:
We're gonna have too much fun, and.

Eldar [02:26:42]:
It'S gonna be so sick.

Oleg C [02:26:43]:
But there's people that do play. Just silly. Like, I don't like it. But they just play, like. Like, silliness. Like, they make some characters.

Phillip [02:26:50]:
Although I think you'd have to be the guy. Like, I know you want to play the game, but I think in order for us to work, like, where we actually do it, well, I think you'd have to be the guy orchestrating.

Eldar [02:26:59]:
I have to be, like, away from it.

Phillip [02:27:01]:
You have to be the view, the DM. I think we can have a successful camp. Is it called a campaign?

Oleg C [02:27:05]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:27:06]:
Oh, shit.

Oleg C [02:27:07]:
This guy.

Eldar [02:27:09]:
See? Is there an end?

Oleg C [02:27:13]:
I listen to Dungeons and Dragons actual play podcast where I listen to other people playing, and I love it. I mean, not the combat parts. A little boring because it's mechanical, but this.

Phillip [02:27:25]:
Is there a Game of Thrones themed one?

Oleg C [02:27:27]:
Yeah, there's definitely Game of Thrones tabletop. Sure, brother. Like, post apocalypse.

Eldar [02:27:34]:
Yeah. There's wild west, dedicated players, bro, that are gonna be committed, and he doesn't even know we're right in front of him. God always gives you what's in front of you and you won't take it.

Phillip [02:27:46]:
We'll play.

Oleg C [02:27:46]:
No, but I can imagine teaching you guys is gonna be this Eric. It's like, yo, so what do you do with that dice? It's like, you do. And then there's just like a hour and a half laugh about this. Like, dice. Like, we're never gonna get through it.

Eldar [02:27:58]:
Potentially, he's gonna realize that he doesn't actually like the game.

Phillip [02:28:02]:
He's protecting this. You're gonna infiltrate his little dream.

Eldar [02:28:06]:
You understand this.

Phillip [02:28:07]:
It's gonna be a poof of air.

Eldar [02:28:09]:
No, you understand this because, you know the walking thing, the attachment to the walk.

Oleg C [02:28:12]:
If you want to pervert the game, that's fine.

Eldar [02:28:14]:
It's not perverting the game. It's just asking questions that you're not. Not gonna have answers to.

Oleg C [02:28:18]:
No, but it's more like frustrated because.

Eldar [02:28:22]:
We have very elaborate, good questions.

Oleg C [02:28:24]:
It's jerking off.

Eldar [02:28:25]:
Basic.

Phillip [02:28:25]:
No, it's like poking a hole in the condom and then getting them pregnant. We're gonna get you pregnant.

Eldar [02:28:29]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:28:30]:
No, this is more like jerking off because if somebody really authentically wants to learn something, I don't know, tennis, they actually go to learn. But if someone's like, you know, thinks this will be a fucking funny thing.

Phillip [02:28:41]:
Yeah, but we, like.

Eldar [02:28:42]:
Are you doubting that we're gonna have good questions?

Phillip [02:28:44]:
Yeah, but we like creativity.

Oleg C [02:28:46]:
Try to learn.

Eldar [02:28:48]:
See, but I like challenges like this.

Phillip [02:28:51]:
See, what happens is he's seeing that we're joking.

Eldar [02:28:52]:
About it.

Phillip [02:28:53]:
But underneath, yeah. We would really actually bring creativity and imagination to the game.

Anatoliy [02:28:57]:
He's also playing her together.

Oleg C [02:28:58]:
No, no.

Eldar [02:28:59]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Phillip [02:29:00]:
This I understand.

Eldar [02:29:01]:
What a slot around. Even though he knows he's a slot deep inside.

Phillip [02:29:03]:
I think we do a really good job at the game.

Eldar [02:29:05]:
Yeah. I think we'll do something.

Oleg C [02:29:07]:
There's not really good.

Eldar [02:29:08]:
He's gonna be irrelevant, and he's gonna be, like, demoted, and you're saying it's.

Anatoliy [02:29:15]:
Gonna be so up.

Eldar [02:29:16]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:29:16]:
These guys with their conclusions.

Eldar [02:29:18]:
What do you think this is, guys?

Phillip [02:29:22]:
I'm definitely down.

Eldar [02:29:23]:
You know? You understand now? It would. Try it. Fuck shit up in there.

Oleg C [02:29:27]:
Order the starter set. Actually, no. Yeah, order starters.

Eldar [02:29:30]:
That's it. That was that easy.

Oleg C [02:29:33]:
I'm saying that that's one thing. Then you have to watch my car.

Eldar [02:29:38]:
All right.

Oleg C [02:29:39]:
It's like Mister Miyagi. You guys have to stand on dice for a few hours.

Eldar [02:29:44]:
If this. If this is a hazy. This is a.

Oleg C [02:29:47]:
What's his name totally has to dress up.

Eldar [02:29:49]:
Sure. If this is a cause to actualize Oleg's real life hero, I'm fucking for it. Yeah. For it.

Oleg C [02:29:55]:
I need a hero.

Eldar [02:29:57]:
You are the hero. You will be our hero.

Oleg C [02:29:59]:
I am.

Eldar [02:29:59]:
We're gonna fuck shit up. And these infiltrated bro.

Oleg C [02:30:04]:
Shit.

Eldar [02:30:05]:
And it is gonna be, yo, all the other fucking. All the other dungeon and dragons are gonna fall. They're gonna be done. They're only gonna play one. Watch us play. That's it.

Oleg C [02:30:14]:
Robo, you're saying crazy shit. All the other dungeons and dragons are gonna fall. They're gonna be one. What does this even mean?

Eldar [02:30:20]:
You understand us or. No, that's gonna be only one family.

Phillip [02:30:22]:
This is how they're talking right now. Like, nobody's winning or losing it since because they're on playing. These guys are just, like, my fragile thinking and creativity.

Eldar [02:30:39]:
Yes.

Phillip [02:30:39]:
Now we're gonna put a.

Eldar [02:30:42]:
Nobody seen shit like this before.

Oleg C [02:30:43]:
Well, then you guys shouldn't play dungeons and dragons. If you want to win, lose, whatever. You should join tolies.

Eldar [02:30:48]:
No.

Oleg C [02:30:48]:
Massive multiplayer. Or, geez, you're just hacking slash, trying.

Eldar [02:30:52]:
To get the biggest world that. They've been doing it all wrong this whole fucking time.

Oleg C [02:30:56]:
Yeah, yeah.

Phillip [02:30:58]:
It's like a kid when, like, they win, they're like, ah, there's no score. Don't worry about it.

Eldar [02:31:01]:
Yeah, yeah. Trophies. You did a bad job. Yeah. That character doesn't stand a chance in this fucking world. Yeah. Get him off the can.

Phillip [02:31:11]:
You're gonna help world build better?

Eldar [02:31:13]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Oleg C [02:31:14]:
What world build does that usually good world building includes more faults. It doesn't include winning. So, for example, when I was younger, we would play, right? Everyone wants to make the strongest. Like what it's called, like metagaming. Like, you know, like. Or optimizing where you make the strongest you wanted to.

Eldar [02:31:30]:
You're gonna get it, but you're gonna get older.

Oleg C [02:31:33]:
For a good story, it's actually fun playing like, the fucked up character. Maybe he's crippled. Maybe I was like, low charisma, low intelligence. But you, like, it's just more real, you know?

Phillip [02:31:44]:
We're gonna create a utopian society.

Eldar [02:31:45]:
That's right.

Oleg C [02:31:51]:
I'm looking forward to this.

Phillip [02:31:53]:
There's no such thing as money.

Eldar [02:31:55]:
Yeah, nice.

Phillip [02:31:56]:
Happiness is the currency.

Oleg C [02:31:58]:
That's it, you guys, right? You guys should write your own rpg.

Phillip [02:32:01]:
I think that's what I wanted to do.

Eldar [02:32:03]:
What the fuck we say?

Oleg C [02:32:05]:
So you don't need dungeons, right? You make it.

Eldar [02:32:06]:
Well, that's what it's gonna. It's gonna be completely different.

Oleg C [02:32:09]:
Call me.

Eldar [02:32:10]:
All the world will fall oh, all the world techno songs they will bend their knee. Yes or no? That's the same bending me.

Oleg C [02:32:18]:
It's the dinner time light.

Eldar [02:32:21]:
Double bending me.

Oleg C [02:32:23]:
I definitely want to put micro.

Phillip [02:32:25]:
I'm on episode five, season one, Game of Thrones. I'm rewatching it.

Eldar [02:32:30]:
All right, guys, what's the final thoughts? Let's finish this. Mike, you. Did you get something out of this?

Anatoliy [02:32:35]:
Yeah, he's not going dungeon dragons after this. With a.

Eldar [02:32:41]:
Prior commitments, bro. You know what I'm saying? No, I'll be fucked up for you not to keep you keep your word, bro.

Oleg C [02:32:47]:
My, my is playing already, like the thing the third time.

Phillip [02:32:50]:
Oh, wait, Mike, you really did want to play this game.

Oleg C [02:32:52]:
He is playing currently, yeah, he's playing like a female character. It's great. Some people do that.

Mike [02:33:00]:
I identify as female.

Oleg C [02:33:02]:
Not in real life, in the game. Oh, shit. We gotta have a talk about.

Eldar [02:33:07]:
Is that a lot or no table?

Oleg C [02:33:10]:
I mean, like, not a my tape. You know what I mean? We're a red pill kind of girl is a.

Phillip [02:33:17]:
Guys only. Those girls.

Oleg C [02:33:18]:
Guys only, bro.

Eldar [02:33:21]:
Only guys play this game.

Oleg C [02:33:23]:
I prefer it, though.

Eldar [02:33:24]:
No, I'm saying in the world.

Oleg C [02:33:25]:
No, there's a lot of girls.

Eldar [02:33:26]:
Okay, fine.

Oleg C [02:33:27]:
Dude, I'm telling you, I don't like.

Phillip [02:33:28]:
I.

Eldar [02:33:29]:
It's.

Oleg C [02:33:30]:
It became mainstream. I actually liked it when it was like fucking, you know, breathing. Now there's mad people playing. And the problem is, you know, got into it a lot. It's like people who play tollies games and shit. So all these people want to be anime characters and fairies and furries and weird shit now. And that. That fucks up the game.

Oleg C [02:33:49]:
And you have a lot of these sjws with pink hair sign up. So now they, like, have, like, trans characters and they want to fucking make it all woke and shit. It's crazy. If you go to Reddit, you'll have a war. If you go to Reddit, like D and D all the, like. There's dad. No, I don't. I don't play with cry for help.

Oleg C [02:34:14]:
No, I don't have any wolverbs.

Eldar [02:34:16]:
Wow.

Phillip [02:34:17]:
But they're out there.

Eldar [02:34:18]:
Cry for help. Yo. Yo, we have your back.

Oleg C [02:34:22]:
What a good person.

Eldar [02:34:25]:
Yo, we got your back, bro. We're gonna fuck shit up.

Oleg C [02:34:27]:
Who's better than you?

Eldar [02:34:28]:
We're gonna fuck you shit up. You know? You feel good? I do.

Oleg C [02:34:34]:
I feel it's like seeing you in the porno. It gives me the same comfort as seeing you in my pornography, to be honest.

Eldar [02:34:43]:
Yo. Can't wait. Can't wait. I'm gonna liberate you finally. Oh, bro. Yes. And you will actualize yourself.

Oleg C [02:34:51]:
Liberate me from my. Liberate. Liberate me from my liberation.

Eldar [02:34:55]:
You will finally be what you always know.

Oleg C [02:34:56]:
It's 830, bro.

Eldar [02:34:58]:
Holy shit. Yo. Yo, that too much.

Oleg C [02:35:00]:
Dennis is gonna have to spend his 4 July editing this shit.

Eldar [02:35:04]:
That's nonsense. Yeah. Wow. Damn. All. Thank you for sharing.

Oleg C [02:35:11]:
I mean, I give what I have.

Mike [02:35:14]:
No, nothing.

Oleg C [02:35:15]:
I think. I think my final thoughts is. I think the next step would be for Mike to try to notice when it is happening. And obviously he's gonna miss it sometimes, but as long as he's noticing it more and then once he's doing that, he can really talk about it further.

Mike [02:35:31]:
Yeah, no, I definitely am gonna be. I think.

Eldar [02:35:34]:
I think.

Mike [02:35:34]:
I think it's probably impossible not to notice some more because now it's been brought up. So I am gonna keep noticing it, but, you know, see maybe where it comes out, why it comes out when it comes out, you know?

Oleg C [02:35:46]:
And then when you have that information, you bring that to get like, I'm noticing it, but what the fuck? What do I do in this situation then?

Mike [02:35:55]:
You know? I mean, it's definitely gotten much better, I think. I mean, you got. If you guys agree or not. I don't know.

Eldar [02:36:01]:
I mean, we can't be the scale, Mike, because we're not in your head.

Mike [02:36:04]:
Yeah, no, I'm asking to also because, you know, like, to get other people's opinions overall.

Eldar [02:36:09]:
Absolutely.

Mike [02:36:09]:
But I definitely, overall.

Eldar [02:36:12]:
But we can't see what we can't see. No.

Mike [02:36:14]:
Yeah, that stuff that you guys always don't see.

Eldar [02:36:15]:
I know, son.

Mike [02:36:17]:
But overall, yeah, I feel better. Like, yeah, I'm resting a lot more. I'm not doing stuff. I'm just, like, during the day, some days, I go, yeah. And just lay down, watch tv for a couple hours, like, yeah. Versus, like, buzzing around, and then at night, I'll definitely buzz around.

Eldar [02:36:33]:
But, yeah.

Mike [02:36:33]:
You know, but it's not like a. Not like used to be. I mean.

Oleg C [02:36:40]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:36:41]:
Oh, um, final thoughts? Because the previous ones were kind of lacking.

Oleg C [02:36:46]:
They were amazing. I was giving you gold here.

Eldar [02:36:51]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:36:52]:
I just gave my final thought.

Eldar [02:36:53]:
I'm telling. So good, bro.

Oleg C [02:36:57]:
I didn't know the final thoughts are judged on the scale, you know, he.

Eldar [02:37:00]:
Said, you know, the obvious, you know.

Oleg C [02:37:02]:
Yeah, well, I mean. Yeah, I mean, what final thoughts can I have? I've noticed that, yeah, I can relate to a lot of this stuff, and, um, I think.

Eldar [02:37:14]:
Good luck, bro. Yeah.

Mike [02:37:17]:
The big one was. I think we never talked about it, but the food buzzing was a big one.

Eldar [02:37:22]:
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Oleg C [02:37:24]:
I think I'd like to hear what you encounter the next week or two when you notice.

Eldar [02:37:31]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:37:31]:
And, like, what obstacles you hit.

Eldar [02:37:33]:
Tune in, bro.

Mike [02:37:34]:
Tune in.

Anatoliy [02:37:34]:
Yeah, I mean, I think we went over a lot. It's definitely, like a. Like a continuous.

Eldar [02:37:39]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Anatoliy [02:37:40]:
Conversation, you know?

Eldar [02:37:42]:
Yeah.

Oleg C [02:37:47]:
No, because he's a.

Mike [02:37:49]:
He's.

Eldar [02:37:50]:
He's a vet, bro. He gave a lot. You have a lot. He gave. He gave the path to those, you know. Yeah. Freedom.

Mike [02:37:56]:
Yeah, that's true. Also on camera, I'd like to say you asked me if I want you guys to point it out, and I do.

Eldar [02:38:02]:
Okay.

Mike [02:38:03]:
You know, so if you guys do catch me, definitely, you know. Okay, that's great.

Eldar [02:38:10]:
I mean, that's great. Yeah, I see. I definitely see progress, if that's what you asked. I definitely see.

Mike [02:38:15]:
I think I asked that question to stay, like, I don't want to, like, feel like I told this before. I don't want to, like, get ahead of myself and, like, be egotistical. I want to stay humble, and that's why I asked that question, because I want to make sure that. Yeah. Also not jumping the gun, because a lot has changed in a short time, and I don't want to misjudge it.

Eldar [02:38:31]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:38:31]:
Because I already feel like there's a lot has changed, and I feel good about it.

Eldar [02:38:34]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mike [02:38:35]:
So I'm like, it sounds like a lot of good stuff has happened in a very short period of time. So it's, in a way, just say, hey, I just make sure I'm not misreading this, you know? Yeah, I think it's a lot.

Eldar [02:38:43]:
I think that in your case, I mean, I know why Oleg made that very, like, lacking comment. The final thoughts about. Yeah, earlier about this, you already been doing it, and that's great. And I think that because of the fact that you had a good trajectory for quite some time, that these falls, they're so, they're bold, you know what I mean? You can't unsee them. You can't unfeel them where before you would just kind of run away, deal with them on your own, process them the way you did, you know what I mean? Not really talk about them right now. You bring it to light, and that's, and that ability, you know, like, you can't undo it. You can unsee it. Like, awareness is awareness.

Eldar [02:39:22]:
You can't unaware it. That's it. I think that you're on that journey. That's awesome. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So keep fucking at it, you know? And, like, I mean, I don't think you have a choice in the matter anymore, because at the end of the day, I think the measure is your happiness. And when you're grouched, when you're grumpy, when you're angry, it's fucking, it seem like it's seen.

Mike [02:39:42]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:39:42]:
You know what I mean? And we can give you a pass, but you won't be able to give yourself a pass. Yeah. And that's a good thing. That's a great thing. You know what I mean? So keep, keep doing it.

Mike [02:39:54]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:39:58]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:39:59]:
I would say since mike brought up his frustrations to us, I think it was me, you, and kat in the car, like, two, three weeks ago.

Eldar [02:40:07]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:40:08]:
I would say, like, since then, you've definitely been, like, open to exploring this. You've been asking our opinions. I think, like you said, in a very short time, you are now starting to talk to us about these things and maybe bring them to light where you thought, okay, maybe I didn't realize that these were issues or problems. So, yeah, I mean, I think it is so new that if you feel like you're getting benefits, then I think then you are getting benefits. But I think to ask us and like, to gauge us, it's just a matter of, like, seeing, like, those big, those big dips.

Eldar [02:40:43]:
Yeah.

Phillip [02:40:43]:
So if you would need us to point those out, I'd say yeah, but I mean, besides that, just being open to it and now realizing that, okay, like, I'm actively working on this, this is something that was bothering me. I think you kind of. I think you kind of nailed it two, three weeks ago. I think you knew deep down what is bothering you. Like, when you were talking about it, I think you just probably created such, like, a thick layer around it that you probably just forgot. But I bet you, like, you had more clarity on it at some point, and now you're just rediscovering that thing, but now you have new tools in order to tackle it. That's how I see it.

Eldar [02:41:16]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:41:17]:
Yeah. Well, the thing I brought up to you guys a few weeks ago, that was, like, me bringing it up and again. But I feel like naturally I have slowed down a lot and been able to buzz less. Like, for a past few months, I've been like, you know, if I was in the weekends, I'm always like, yo, let's do this. Let's do that. Like, I'll be more considerate about how I feel if I'm tired or not. I'll go home, you know, basketball, self love.

Eldar [02:41:40]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:41:40]:
I will go home and I'll lay in bed. Even if I can't fall asleep, I'll try to lay in bed for 2 hours, just.

Eldar [02:41:44]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:41:45]:
You know, just to relax and, like, that's part of my new thing versus before I like, yo, it's fucking, let's do this after this, then. Then something else. And something else like. Yeah, I definitely been.

Eldar [02:41:55]:
Yeah.

Mike [02:41:55]:
Showing a little bit self love.

Eldar [02:41:56]:
That's great. That's awesome.

Mike [02:41:58]:
That's part of it.

Eldar [02:41:58]:
Yeah. You are becoming more sensitive, bro. That's good. I hope so. You know what I'm saying? And those are the things you're gonna be sensitive to. That. That's great.

Mike [02:42:06]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:42:06]:
You're not gonna let them rule your world or be there. You're gonna have to dig, dig and become more humble and stuff like that. If you're not humble in those areas.

Mike [02:42:14]:
Yeah.

Eldar [02:42:17]:
So big up to you. Keep going. You know I'm saying. And be careful. Yeah. Of the DM. Of the basement. Of the basement dwelling of the DM.

Eldar [02:42:28]:
Yeah. All right, guys. Good job, man. Holy shit.