On this week's episode . Most people in your position are not privy to this conversation , so this might feel a little weird . What are you talking about ?
If you feel like in the middle of conversation would you want to walk out , we're completely fine with it . Why would I walk out , Say , if this starts hurting your brain a little bit ? Because it might .
We can't actually communicate with the world in such a way , but we can a lot of times not all the time , a lot of times exactly the response that we want out of the world , and that's what's going to make us happy .
If you continued something right , yeah , and you got really good at it . The better you get at it and the less you're able to communicate , the more it eats at you inside Wow .
What the fuck are you talking ?
about All right guys . Yet another week .
Yet another very interesting topic To Dennis Rocks . Yet another week , yet another very interesting topic To Dennis Rocks .
Yes , harris . Disclaimer , harris , this one might be a little bit complicated . So if you decide to leave mid-podcast , what the hell is that supposed to mean ? Feel free . What the hell is that supposed to mean ?
I'm just joking . You just want another walkout , man . No , no , no , all right , you know . I think , you got this . You know everyone loves a good scrap . A good Tommy walkout yeah .
This is a very interesting topic , like they all are Very important . It's on communication Totally has a bone to pick with communication . Tully has a bone to pick with communication . So there's a question around it .
Harris , you're in luck that maybe you're going to hear Tully speak a little bit about what's getting him upset , making him feel bad or frustrating him . Maybe he'll open up a little bit . So you're in for a treat . Tully hasn't done open up a little bit .
Oh yeah , so you went for a treat . Open that heart up a little bit Totally . Hasn't done that in a long time .
Open up that little black heart man , but I think he's been wrestling with this tiger for a while , so let's hear it Tully Communication .
Yeah , but you have to like , you know , you have to introduce , you have to like ask questions .
He needs to get the thing started .
Okay , okay , to get this going , I would have to say this , right ? Obviously , different communication styles yield different results , right ? Some people communicate via anger right , emotion , logic , reason Sarcasm , sarcasm .
Fuck you . You know Well , we all know my fuck you's genuine man .
Nonetheless , there are a style of communication , yeah , right , but in general , I think that , uh , when we communicate , I would have to say that why do we communicate in the first place ?
Is that we're trying to be either understood , get our point across , get a specific result from communicating , get some kind of reaction , response maybe get on the same page with people ? We're trying to get something and obviously , what we're trying to get out of that , what we're trying to communicate , is what we want .
However , a lot of times when we communicate , we don't get what we want out of our communication , right ? People don't understand us , people misunderstand us , right ?
It results in frustration for us , for the person , and then you don't , you don't know where you stand , you're not on the same page and you're left being frustrated because you weren't able to communicate properly and get exactly what you wanted . I think .
To relate it to you , for example , you're in sales now , right , you understand the importance of communication now a little bit more . Yes , right .
Communicating with your dad , communicating with your mom , communicating with your brother these are all different communication styles that you have Communicating with clients , communicating with us and a lot of times , for example , in your life , you don't get what you want out of those communications Because you don't know how to properly communicate .
Oh screw you man , I'm so sorry .
Look , we're trying to say that , or trying to understand totally talks to me let's put it this way like a harvard student .
I'm no harvard student man yeah , you hear that he's telling you this right now .
I ain't no harvard student man yeah , these fancy fucking words , man yeah .
Yeah . So I think by asking the question about how to properly communicate , we maybe will go down the path where we can find a communication style that works for us , so we can get a point across , so we can be understood and so we get exactly what we want .
I personally believe that through communicating properly , we can get exactly what we want , but there's a whole bunch of stuff that goes into it , obviously . All right , so let's discuss it Totally . What are some questions around it ? You know , how do you properly communicate ? Why don't we sometimes don't properly communicate ?
What's holding us back from properly communicating , and what can we do in order to communicate in a more effective way ?
communicating and what can we do in order to communicate in a more effective way ? It starts , I think , from understanding that there's not uh like a one , one way or one method to communicate with , like , uh , with everybody .
You know that it can like vary , uh , situation by situation and if , like , if you don't have the abilities to meet the person as to where they're at , then you will struggle communicating with them . Okay , yeah , like I mean , if you want to bring it like easy example , work wise .
It's like if you talk to , if you talk marketing with a real estate agent versus a VP of marketing at a tech company , yeah , you know they're going to have different backgrounds , different understandings .
Yeah , and if you use both methods with both people , you're not going to get a good result either way because , like the VP of marketing , he might be like yo , like , this is not important to me . This is very like basic , like you don't understand my needs and stuff like that , or what I want out of this call .
Or the marketers are like yo , this is too complex , I don't understand it . Like you know , I need something more basic .
Today was a perfect example . We went to the building department .
Yeah .
Right , me and Toli , we need to take out some permits . Yeah , and he pretty much told us you know , you guys are idiots because we came over there . We don't know anything about building . Right , he laughed at you .
He pretty much laughed at us , yeah , so there was clearly a communication barrier there between what he knows , what he understands , and what we know and what we understand , and those two styles did not match . We left completely puzzled , confused maybe frustrated .
I think part of the reason is because I'm sure he's used to working with construction workers and stuff like that . That's right , people know what the hell he's talking about Exactly , but today he met a better friend man .
This is a very good point .
But that's also again , if he understood proper communication , he's not going to be talking to a homeowner like he would a construction like a contractor and he wouldn't talk to a contractor like he would talk to a homeowner .
So he's missing .
Well , it doesn't matter who's missing , right ? Probably both sides are missing a little bit , right ? Because he's trying to . We're trying to bridge the gap between that communication and find out what actually to do . And in this case at least , we understand that we're not competent to have this conversation , so maybe we have to hire someone who can .
Yeah Right , this is one way of dealing with this kind of stuff . But Harris made a really good point too . He said hey , a lot of times Tully talks to me like I'm a Harvard student , and what are the results ?
Not good .
Not good , okay , so . Yeah , so one way to probably communicate , like you said , is to understand kind of the person that you're communicating with a little bit better . Right Tully is trying to maybe explain certain concepts to Harris , who's not a Harvard student , who maybe is in first grade .
Oh , fuck you bro . Just an example . No , I ain't in first grade . What grade are ? You in ? I don't fucking know . I graduated high school .
Harris today , me and Tully we were in first grade . You know where At were in first grade . You know where ? At the building department , we were in first grade , probably even below , because we didn't understand anything he said he mentioned names , things , items , tools that we don't know . Right , that's first grade .
Same thing here Right , you don't know much about sales . You didn't know much about sales . Maybe you knew a little bit . Maybe that's grade one versus Toli who , like you said , speaking sometimes like he's in Harvard , you know he's in college , for example . This is the disparity or the difference .
So there's nothing wrong with sometimes humbling yourself in that area and say you know what the truth of the matter is . I am in the first first grade .
All right , fine , I'm in first grade of sales . There you go . See , it can all be be Harvard , you know , alma mater , whatever the hell you call those people at the top , man , the fuck are you talking about .
That's what you said yeah , so , yeah .
So , meeting the person where they're at , or understanding where they're at , because then you're going to try to find the right words , find the right communication style in order to get through the person without having're at or understanding where they're at , because then you're going to try to find the right words , find the right communication style in order to get
through the person without having too many frustrations . Now talk about frustrations . What are some frustrating things that you have , toli , when it comes to more complex communication styles , this is where you can excuse yourself and leave if you want .
Why ? Well , like not being understood . Not being understood , not being able to get through to somebody , not being able to , like , deliver proper information , yeah , like , I guess those things .
Okay , specifically , you always have the conflict of like look , eldar , I have the right intentions , I have good intentions . You know my intentions is to help the person grow , help the person in general Right .
But sometimes I come across where they don't understand me or they don't appreciate the help , or they don't act how I think that they should be acting based on what I'm giving them . Right , yeah , so that brings you frustration ? Yeah , right . And the frustration comes from almost feeling like you being , in that moment , disrespected .
Yeah .
Okay . So what is your question around that , or what do you think ? Did you solve the situation already ?
Well , no , I mean I didn't fully , I guess , solve it , but now I'm understanding more of the importance of meeting the person , of where they're at .
How would you meet them where they're at ?
Well , I guess , first you have to leverage patience . What ?
does that ?
mean like , uh , like you have to have patience towards the process . That you're you're , you're in right , that you're like participating in what does leveraging patience look like ? Um ? What does leveraging patience look look like ? What does leveraging patience look like ?
Because , me and Mike actually had an interesting conversation about this , right ?
If you're seeing things for what they are and I'm going to give you an alley-oop here If you're seeing things for what they are , right , you're saying that you know what he's in grade one and in order for him to graduate , he has to go through grade 10 , right 11 , 12 , or whatever right . He's saying that you know what .
He's in grade one and in order for him to graduate he has to go through grade 10 . Right , 11 , 12 or whatever Right he's in grade one . If it's going to take , let's just say grade 12 is going to take 12 years . Let's just say each grade is one year , right ? Within those 12 years , you have no type of frustrations . You don't have a horse in a race .
You understand that the process is the process and it's going to take 12 years . If you understand this aspect , where does patience come in , and does it actually come in or does it have to come in ? If you're seeing things for what they are , well , that's what I'm saying though it's like you use patience to map that out . Like the mapping of that out .
I'm not sure , and then you don't have to . No .
I know what you're saying , but the way you're saying it I'm not sure if it's like very understandable . I understand maybe what you're saying and my thing is like , no , I don't understand what he's saying at all . I think , okay , well , I think I understand what he's saying , but I'm not sure if he's meaning it's in that specific way .
Um , I can give . I want to know how he wants to leverage patience in those 12 years .
You're saying that patience is not required if you see things for what they are . Yeah , yeah , yeah , no , no , yeah , I'm saying that like um . To do that , you have to outline that kind of plan , and I think that you have to go back , and that's what I mean by like , uh , like , uh , like . Like .
You have to calm down , you know , relax , go like , go back , make a plan , right , no , but I think , and then you don't have to leverage .
I think you I think you're skipping a step , I think a lot of . I think , in my opinion is , before you can be patient or any kind of make any plan or anything , you need to actually observe what's happening , and not only observe , but you need to observe it non impartially , right ? Like a lot of times I use the basketball example .
Right , we play basketball with a lot of different people and a lot of people different people frustrate us in the way they play , the way they behave , the way they argue and shit like that .
Right , but if we actually pay attention to these people , instead of initially getting upset or frustrated , we would see these people are behaving the perfect way they're supposed to and we never actually paid attention for long enough to observe their behaviors . Right ? And a lot of times we don't give the chance to pay attention or react .
I mean , obviously , in sport it's very easy to react because it's like adrenaline , competition , all these things are involved , so it's hard to pay attention .
But in a slower environment , you have an opportunity to watch the way the person carries themselves and the way they want to communicate , and I think that is to me is the patience or whatever word you want to use , but I think that is to me , is the patience or you know whatever word you want to use , but observing the person where they actually are , before ,
like then doing any other steps , yeah , but Mike .
I'm not sure if it's a good example , because , sure , sports can be fast-paced and stuff like that , but I think life can be fast-paced as well and you can have a horse and a race in life as well , especially when you are buzzing and you know when you're buzzing right , when you're excited about stuff and you want to get shit done , and stuff like that .
A lot of times it almost becomes a competitive thing where you're also not seeing things for what they are because you have an agenda , you have a horse in the race for a very specific outcome . So what happens is you cloud the judgment of what's actually going on because you have an agenda , sure , right .
So I think the attachments to the agenda might be the answer to the key of what is it that you're trying to accomplish ?
So letting go of that agenda , letting go of that attachment , will allow you for what he's saying , that collect yourself , sit down , re-evaluate and then come up with the proper plan to see things for what he's saying , that collect yourself , sit down , reevaluate and then come up with the proper plan to see things for what they are .
But how can you make a plan without observing the person ?
Well , nonetheless , I think everything's going to point to you need to slow down For sure . Slow down , right , yeah , and really like evaluate what's actually going on .
Yeah , like that to me , is part of like .
The calming down is to like first you have to take a step back , or multiple steps back , evaluate the situation and then you come up with a plan as to like what now makes sense , after you are able to see things for what they are , and then if you are to do that , then you don't have to leverage patience like in that you know yeah .
I agree with that .
You don't have to leverage patience Like in that you know . Yeah , I agree with that by the way it was being said .
You opened the conversation saying that you're not in Harvard . We're actually trying to solve this problem Because , obviously , do you know that Tully has good intentions ? Absolutely Okay , very good . Do you sometimes feel like he's the enemy ? Honestly , yes , no I would .
Do you sometimes feel like he's ?
the enemy ? Honestly yes .
No , I would like for you to lie Sometimes .
Yeah , okay , so there you go .
Not all the time . Harris , harris , harris , harris .
Harris , don't defend yourself . You don't have to defend yourself . You're not upsetting him , me or anybody else . We are aware of this phenomenon and we're trying to figure out the key to this thing where we don't have to have that .
Yeah , this is what totally is working on to find out how to find the key to you , to your communication style , so you don't feel like you in harvard with totally but but for but .
But . Uh , as a warning , most people in your position are not privy to this conversation , so this might feel a little weird .
What are you talking about .
What position ? Right you know what I'm saying , elder , I do . What position you have to explain ?
He's talking in Harvard again .
Yeah he's doing the Harvard thing , that's why I told you that if you feel like in the middle of a conversation would you want to walk out , we're completely fine with this . Why would I walk out ? So , if this starts hurting your brain a little bit , because it might , you already hurt my brain today Early on Good .
So we prepared you for this conversation Very good .
I mean , Eldar's always been the mediator , fucking dumb and down and shit .
So he knows this ? Yes , yeah . So do you understand that we are aware of the situation , that , even though right now , when I asked you the question , I say , hey , do you know that Toli's intentions towards teaching you is good .
You say absolutely . I wouldn't be here .
If it wasn't Good , very good , and I think that as long as you remember that , as long as you keep seeing things for what it is right , you're going to stick around Right the time when you finally tip over one way or the other , that's when we're actually going to see a real change . Either you start learning forever or you walk out .
You know what I mean that's . But we also aware that sometimes you perceive totally as an enemy , and that's perfectly fine , right ? That's why I think , totally poses questions to find out how does he not be perceived as an enemy , but more so an individual who's here as a resource and tries to help because his intentions is that ?
However , just because you have an intention to help does not mean that his type of help will be perceived or received as help . Does that make sense ? Yeah , it can sometimes feel like he's the enemy . Yeah , trust me , we understand this . Okay , you should be happy in jumping up and down right now to understand that totally .
He's trying to figure it out , the key to this . If he does , you're not just gonna have me as a mediator . You might have totally as a mediator as well yeah , because those call reviews . You get fucking confused no , the call reviews , you understand yeah to the point .
Yeah , but some of the stuff , that's uh , yes , and that's like today .
There was a good example where I slowed him down a little bit and I told him I totally you know what I mean . He , harris , right now is actually reacting or has a feeling about what he's like .
You know , you said it in the beginning like oh , this shit's fucked and like this is terrible , like you still processing that stuff yeah , immediately when you said his fucking name , I knew who the fuck it was . Did you notice that in the moment that he was not perceiving or receiving any type of information that you were giving him ?
Well , yeah , Well , the call reviews happened the same way . It's something that's not looked forward to and he's not happy about . And then he's beating himself up , correct ?
But that's what I'm saying . What I'm saying is that do you recognize that in that moment he's not being receptive to your criticism or to your knowledge ?
Oh , I mean , I view the whole call review as a blackout every week .
Okay , Well , if you did right , then it's almost like it's pointless for now . Yeah Right . It's pointless until you actually make him understand that the core review is actually beneficial to him yeah , he sees the true intentions behind it that were not there to hurt him yeah , but to improve him yeah , right .
If he sees that at a core yeah , then he's not going to come into a core review like shaking and being scared .
Yeah Well , yeah . So sometimes , like this is definitely one of the things I was mentioning that I struggle with is again like when do you like ?
for me , it's very difficult to like back off and let somebody fail Right , for example , right Like operating in that kind of communication style is difficult , yeah , but again , I always questioned you as to why do you not feel the importance of a person falling on their face and allowing life to assist you with learning process to be a good thing ?
And I have a question . Maybe I'm wrong here , but are we able to make that assessment that that person is going to fail or whatever that experience is is a fail ?
We can definitely project certain things , yeah , but it's like a sure thing . If you've project certain things , yeah , but it's like it's like a sure thing If you've been paying attention . Yeah , it could be very sure . I'm not saying that there's other variables can come in and just change the whole thing around , but I can . Yeah , 90 , 95% I can probably do .
Yeah , it comes down to , like that other topic , we what people are signing up for based on , like their choices and you could see how their life or that situation is going to play out Right , based on your desires , based on your attachments .
Right , you can know like okay , your attachment is that I can tell you your next five years .
Yeah , and and and here it's not even like trying to predict like a five year period or a 10 year period . You can predict the next few months , can predict the next few months , the next week , the next year , the next two years very easily by seeing what choices an individual makes , what actions they take .
Yeah , yeah , I think it's very hard to go against the grain on that with those kind of decisions .
Why'd you ask that ?
I think maybe that's where the attachment is maybe rooted somehow Attachment to the outcome .
Yeah .
How ? No , I don't know . I just felt like there's something there Like your belief that that person is going to fail . It's like you're attaching it and you want to prevent it .
Yes , and I think that's why and it's like it's a good intention , but it's like I said , it's fighting a natural path to the thing , right ? What I'm saying is that my argument is that , look , the truth of the matter is that individual can endure this pain . They need to endure this pain .
They need to come to a realization , whatever realization that you need to do , especially if you already built a rapport with them , right , because you go on that journey with them . When they hurt themselves , like yo , I'm here .
I knew that you're going to hurt yourself , I knew you're going to spray your ankle , whatever it is , I'm here now , let me help you out , let me put the ice back . Let's do this Going forward , you're not going to misstep the same way , right ?
But I personally think it's super necessary for some of these things to play out the way they do because of the level of the attachment that's there . He sometimes like , hey , bro , like come on , man , I've been through this shit , let's not do this , let's not do this . He wants to do the preventative care stuff by oppressing the individual from learning .
Yeah , that kind of way he has a hard time saying okay , cool , let's go . Let's go touch the fire , but let's put your finger in the fire right , like literally , like if you take a baby right and like yo like the baby really wants to the finger , it's gonna get a little burn .
Well , the response is gonna be regardless , it's gonna be something small .
It's gonna be very small , right ? Yeah , however , that's gonna be a very serious lesson there . For sure that individual , that kid , is gonna be like oh shit , that's a big fire , stay away from it yeah , there's no more conversations .
If they really curious , if they have an attachment to find out that the fire burns and fire is hot and it hurts , let's fucking test it . What is the problem ? What is the problem of leveraging pain right In order to learn a life lesson , a lifelong lesson , right ?
Or maybe then also develop a level of trust to the individual that is guiding you saying that , hey , remember that fire I talked about . Well , if you cross the street , that car , that's going really fast . If it touches you , that's the same fire . You're going to get knocked down , you're going to die , you're going to hurt . You remember this ?
Yeah , I do remember this . I'm saying , but a lot of people don't like this . A lot of parents don't like this , whoever you're fucking raising dogs fucking . Yeah , no , no , no , no , no . This is not good . You know what I mean . I think he's one of those people .
He believes in preventative care and not allowing the individual to learn certain things through experience . Experience the reality , yeah , right , to help you guide . I'm for it . The more help I can get from reality , the better , and the faster .
The faster we get on the same page , and the first way it starts , I think , at least through my approach , is through gaining trust , right , right , the most important thing I think now , through communication with Tully and Harris , is to gain that trust that Harris comes into the office and always remembers that Tully actually has his best interest at heart , right ,
even though sometimes Tully looks like the enemy or like the strict dad or the strict mom . You know what I'm saying . That is the bridge that we need to gap up in order for them , for his knowledge to be able to flow without any kind of speed bumps through him and he can be a good student and receiving all that goodness that he can offer .
Because , you agree , right , that totally has a lot to offer , or no ? Yeah ?
Like I said , he's in the harbor . There's three dads in the office right . Yeah . There's Mike the one . What's up with him ? Easy going , man Doesn't really do nothing . Yeah , there's Eldar . How do I's Eldar ?
Uh-huh , how do I describe Eldar , the hipster-like lesson dad All right Lessons tells you how it is , and then there's totally a little bit more of a hard ass .
Yeah , no , it's pretty spot on . I would agree with that . There's definitely a lot more to say on that stuff , but it's definitely spot on Totally . Would like to approve his communication style so he can get a lot more results that he actually wants versus not . You know what I mean and I think that everybody in life , I think , should strive towards this .
Yeah , but a lot of times .
no one ever realizes , you know , realizes what their communication is off .
Yes , a lot of times right . A lot of times we don't recognize that the way we string our words together , the way we position ourselves actually right , is closely tied to the results that we get back from the external world like .
my sister is another one I , okay , can't really understand when she tries explaining shit and when someone doesn't understand what she's saying , yeah , she gets frustrated , frustrated , extremely pissed , like yeah I don't know how to say this any clearer yeah .
Yeah , what brings ? My friend Joe has has this problem with his , with his family . A lot of times he has good intentions and obviously Joe's listening . So , joe , what's up ? He just shared that he wants to help his dad with some of his health problems .
Right , and a lot of times he's drilling the points of like , hey , dad , you should do this , you should do that , you should do this , you should do that To help him prolong his life .
Oh , like you're doing with me , huh , huh . Like you're doing with me Live past the 50 mark .
Well , no , that's because you want it , right , I'm teaching you only because that's a different , this is a different case , right , I'm only teaching you because you asked me you want to live past 50 . So I'm giving you that advice . In Joe's case , right , his dad didn't necessarily come to him and say , hey , dad .
I mean , hey , joe , I actually want you to teach me how to do this in order to prevent somebody's diseases , right ? But Joe goes and tries to hammer him , just like totally a little bit right , To say , hey , dad , you know like , don't you want to live past 90 or 80 to see your grandkids grow , and stuff like that .
He has those types of arguments , even though those types of arguments are logically sound and they make sense , right , but the way he's coming across , it's almost a selfish way of like hey , I want you to stick around , kind of thing , even though his dad might have a completely different idea about life and how he's feeling .
Right , maybe his dad is tired of life . Maybe his dad just wants to smoke , relax , drink and have whatever food he wants to have in order to just enjoy the last couple of years , or whatever , of his life , right ? So there's this disconnect .
A lot of times , we try to communicate certain things because we have our own selfish desires to get a very specific outcome . We don't respect life for what it is , and that is , I think , is what a lot of people are suffering from . Right , there's our desires and then there's life , and a lot of times those things don't match , right , yeah .
So how do we solve this , mike ?
Totally Well , if you're saying it's our desires versus life . So then are you saying that Tully's desires he's basically going against ?
Well , yeah , I think that Tully's desires for benefiting Harris , for example , are inherently good . Okay , yeah , outside of Harris , okay , so remove Harris . Right now . Tully would like someone to learn , to be better , to progress , to grow , to be empowered , to blossom , to succeed . Okay , remove Harris , remove Philip , remove anyone that came through these doors .
Right , inherently good . However , the big variable is that Harris has his own things , his own attachments , his own things , his own attachments , his own desires Right , and those attachments and those desires actually have their own timelines .
Okay , and those timelines for example , like you know , the car Right , there's a six month timeline right now on writing letters , right . For example , right , they have their own timelines to learn a specific lesson Right , in six months we're going to re-evaluate and say , hey , how did it go ? That kind of thing . You know what I mean .
So what happens is that there's a clash between his desire's timelines and his desire's timelines and those things don't work . He wants him to be on one schedule and he can't be on that schedule because , inherently , some of the desires that he created , some of the attachments that he created , take a longer time . You know what I mean .
So what happens is there's a clash and he's like yo , why is he not getting it ? Why is he not seeing my intentions ? I'm , I'm bringing all the good stuff . All the good stuff . What the fuck ? He's like yo , my man ? I'm not in harvard , bro , I'm fucking in . You know , first grade . I need to eat dirt . You know , you trying to feed me .
You know five star Michelin star restaurants mung beans , exactly , yeah , mung beans . I just eat burgers and fries . Yeah , what is this ? Yeah , so that's what happens . And then two people , obviously frustrated . One thinks that he might be the enemy . The other person's like what the fuck ? He's an ignorant bastard , what the fuck you know ?
And then there's a clash .
Oh , fuck you . Oh , you know what , fuck you guys .
Yeah , so you see that , I see it . So the way to bridge this gap right is to be on Tully's hand at least , or whoever the fucking the burden of proof is here , right , it's to be on Tully's hand at least , or whoever the fucking the burden of proof is here , right ? In this case Tully's , because he wants to find out , not Harris .
It's to take the time to actually understand what is happening on this side . What are the desires , what are the things ? Right In order to play those things out . Let them run out right . Discuss those things out . Let them run out right . Discuss those things . Explain or give your feedback if the person's asking , also teaching when not asked , right .
So then that person could finally see the whole thing through and then totally can come in with his knowledge base and say , okay , you exhausted yourself . I'm here now , I can keep you up , this one needs to be done , this one needs to be done , this one needs to be done . And then that individual finally is like oh shit , I can trust this individual .
He means well for me , he's here for me , he's supportive , he's understanding , he's not judging me for my mistakes . So who gives a fuck ? Right ? Unfortunately , he totally judges right now for the mistakes . He doesn't want them to make those mistakes , he doesn't want them to . You know , hurt their finger hurt their fucking mind or whatever it is .
You know he doesn't want to burn them .
Yeah .
You know , I'm saying that let's burn his finger as fast as possible , let's give him a car , let's do this , let's all do that so we can get to a place of understanding . Mm-hmm . I think that's the trajectory .
What do you think ? Yeah , yeah , I mean yeah . For a long time at least , I always felt that like if you're saying like the truth to somebody , it doesn't matter where they're at Like that to me is like a good measure of like doing right by them . You know yeah them , you know yeah um .
But I'm seeing that like um more and more obviously , that like um , that creates more like a friction and more resistance totally .
I don't want you to not withhold truth from an individual . I want you to withhold truth from the individual if the truth is not being asked for . Yeah , okay , yes , yeah and I want you to give as much truth as possible . Yeah , when the person comes to you and say , totally , can you tell me please ?
yeah , I want you to know those moments , yeah , but yeah , yeah , so , yeah , one one thing is obviously to work on identifying what those moments actually are . Yes , um , versus not , okay , right , but yeah , like .
To me it's always like I'm gonna say the truth and like you know , yeah , um , and like if you feel I'm wrong , for example , I'm more more than happy to have a conversation right , and I always viewed as like okay , like this is gonna come out good either way , either like I'm wrong and the person is like either doing something right or like maybe I'm gonna
learn something that I didn't know , or I'm right and we're just going to validate that , like what I was saying was correct , and then the other person is going to benefit , right , so , like , I almost viewed it as in like that kind of win , win way , but , but , but obviously it's proving out that it's not like um , um , I'm at a crossroads where , in different
things in life that not not that I have like , like , like I don't know what , what words to use here , not figure it out or like a good grasp on , or like there there's some things that , um , I feel like I can articulate very well and understand very well , but I cannot very well and understand very well , but I cannot .
But it's been proven that um I cannot , like I I can't use , like I can't , um give back what I understand or have I've learned on those subjects , for example , just trying to think what's the best way to word this .
I know what you're talking about like you , you can't cram it and give it when you want it .
you , yeah , you can't . You can't like explain to somebody , yeah , what you have and how you can help them , for example . So it's almost like like it like a look , like it's like um , you're , you have two people and you're like stuck um , stuck in like a dark room , and you can't tell the person .
There's a flashlight in your pocket , even even though there is Right , yeah , and then , like , all you have to do is go in the pocket and it's there , like it's there and you can turn it on and you can see easily . Yeah . Right .
Yeah , so like , what's happening is that the flashlight's there , it's in the pocket , but you can't communicate that to the person . The person doesn't understand , like they , like you can't . Basically , the person doesn't understand what you're saying At all .
Instead , they think that you two are in a dark room and you have to fight each other for the life because only one person is going to make it out alive . Do you understand ?
that you just created a perfect example of the allegory of the cave .
What the fuck are you talking about ?
This is what he talked about that flashlight that you bring in . You know , you try to shine light and you're like what the fuck ? And the other person's like what the fuck , let's fucking fight this is that phenomenon .
Yeah , and that's what happens to me proven on a recurring basis that people don't want to hear what I have to say . They just want to fight me . Yeah . You know yeah .
So it's like it doesn't matter how much I progress could be , I guess , benefiting me selfishly , for example but I don't have the ability to help others in the way that I want when I can , even though I can yeah , you know yeah , can . Even though I can yeah , you know yeah Like , even though I do have a solution . Does that hurt ? Um , does it hurt ?
Um , is it frustrating . I'll give you an alley-oop .
Yeah , yeah it's . I mean it's definitely at times frustrating . Yeah , so then it hurts .
Yeah .
Yeah , um , and then like yeah , I guess for a while I've always seen it as like look , if they don't want to do it and I'm viewed as a bad guy , fine .
You know yeah .
But then like , yeah , I can't , yeah , I don't have the ability to give back in any kind of way . And to me , again , like a measure of success is not like understanding something , doing it , succeeding with it . It's doing all that plus being able to give to somebody else to do the same exact thing , but better . Yeah , you know , like that .
That , that like like I think is like the level of success that I'm looking for at least . And yeah , like , like is like the level of success that I'm looking for at least .
And yeah , like if , for example , if you're saying that like I understand sales , or like at least what we're doing here , or like you know some stuff here , like I'm going to only go so far here , if I can't , like I'm not going to achieve what I want to achieve , if I can't teach it to somebody else , or I can't , like I'm not going to achieve what I
want to achieve if I can't teach it to somebody else , or I can't If , you filled your cup , and your cup can't be spilled over to somebody else . Yeah , then it just like , and then I'm just like a filled cup just getting , and then I'm in the drain and it's just going down the drain . That's right , you know , and that's what's going to happen .
Paris , despite the , that's what's going to happen , paris , despite the fact that you don't understand anything that is being said right now yeah , I'm smoking out with your wee-wees . I'm going to help you and dumb it down . Everything that he just said reverts back to the fact that you think that he's helping you out , when he's really helping himself out .
No , isn't that what he said , man ? No , you're helping him out . Oh , I see , do you know how ?
it's kind of like the boxes , right ? Can you explain when I went to his house ? Okay , oh shit , and I started fucking . He packs his boxes up in the bottom room and I help him take it out and I'm like , yeah , don't forget , I helped you . He goes but a couple of years down the road .
You're going to think back on this time and you're going to think down and you're going to be like yo , I didn't help him out , I helped myself out , that's right . I remember his words completely . Yo , that is crazy . And I looked at him like he was fucking crazy . What the fuck are you ?
talking about man . Wow , this whole thing just connected like that . You agree with this ? Yeah , that's great , that's fucking that . Yeah , you agree with this ? Yeah , that's great , that's fucking awesome .
Well , he doesn't agree with the concept . But yeah , he doesn't agree with the concept , Do you ?
want me to come back to your house and help you with the boxes man .
No .
Wow , that's sick . Well , that's what you're going to say until the boxes come around , right ? Pretty much , yeah , that's sick .
That's sick . Wow , that was a good one , Harris . Rarely do you come up with something good . What the fuck is that supposed to mean ?
I'm just joking , bro , all my catchphrases , man .
That's true , man , which one you want . You want the Nate .
Oh , you know what ? Fuck you guys . This fucking shit . Everything's Nate this , nate that , nate that . If Nate's listening to this , fuck you . Damn . That's loud dude .
That is loud . You told him to fuck off . Yeah , bro , every time , every time if he does listen to the podcast every time we're going to tell him fuck you , nate . You know what I'm saying . That's going to be crazy . He try calling you again Mm-mm .
He better not if he doesn't want to hear fuck you again yo , if he ever calls you , you gotta play that thing .
No .
I'm gonna invite him again , like I invited him last time . Like yo you know , the Friday night , come by , he's in Georgia ain't he if you guys meet , it's gonna be over . It's gonna be like a the universe is gonna implode .
It's gonna be like a movie we're just gonna fucking stare at each other .
Yeah , it's gonna be like what the fuck ?
is going on . No one's going to say anything , we're just bugs there . Yes , he's in Georgia , bro . He's not just going to drive up , he's a nut He'll drive up .
You have to give him a good enough reason . Are we on to something , or what ? You're always quiet over there , bro . I think he has a hard time understanding what's happening . Is that true , mike ?
Yes , no , I think you guys are into something I'm just trying to understand or think about . Why did totally take this position , you know , or this approach , right cuz there's a real .
I mean , this is a long-standing approach this is .
This is fucking decade plus yeah approachstanding approach .
I know .
This is a fucking decade fossil approach . Yeah , yeah , of course , no , that I know . I've been chewing on this approach for a very long time with him , yeah , but I'm wondering where is , like , the roots of it ? Why is it ?
Why does he believe that this is his system and for a long time he's believed that this is the system , that who wants to get better results on him , I mean , you know , yeah , so I'm trying to understand and I was thinking maybe somehow it's connected to that failure thing , you know , and his stance on it , because what he's trying to prevent he's looking at
it as bad right , as failure .
Yeah .
So he's bypassing all logic because he here already made the assumption this is bad . That's why I asked that question , like are you a hundred percent certain ?
But I think you , maybe you'll say like hey , I do think it's going to probably fail , yeah , and without going to the next step , which is like , but it's important , I think you still leave a room for error . Yeah , you know where he's like yo , it's a fail . So now I have to do whatever I can Correct .
I don't allow , like leaving that room for a small room for error is important , I think that is very interesting .
You think that that's the key to the whole the whole different .
I think yeah it bypasses all logic because you're in your way , You're like yo , I already know what's going to happen and I have to give the person the key . Versus I keep an open mind , he's closed mind . You always leave you always , I think , for most things as far as I know you always leave a little margin for error .
Okay , obviously you're not stupid and you're not like blind . That it's probably going to go that way yeah to go that way . Yeah , but you always leave that margin for error and I think that margin for error is maybe to think and also slow down , like it gives you the chance to not be 100% certain and close the case .
If that fails , close the case . Let me try to understand why I do it and why is this maybe effective ? Got room for fucking error . I'm scared of certainty and I think .
I learned that from Sock . Who the fuck is Sock bro ?
Socrates , the guy that you were reading about , oh , the one I love , bro . Yes , yes , he was also scared of it . He knew some shit , but he said I know that I know nothing .
Yeah , even though he knew , he knew for sure something . Yes , he did always leave that , and I think that's an important thing .
I definitely adopted that from him , right I believe it , it's mine . Now you know what I'm saying . It's part of me . Yeah , yeah , for sure .
I am scared of that . I think that's a big kicker , even though it's a small thing .
Yeah , I think picked up on it . If you clearly see the difference , then yeah , it's 100% big .
Yeah , because then you're already making that judgment and you bypass all the logic , you bypass all the ability to see the importance of that that thing is going to play in his life . And what do we do ? What's automatic for a lot of us ? People Go and help Mojo .
Let me help you with this . Let me help with this .
And that is usually complete ham hock behavior .
Yeah , it is you know , I'm sorry , you're right , it is and I think that's where the switch gets turned off the thing is , I love helping people bro well , yeah , I know I love helping people .
That's like my fucking bread and butter I think it's if I don't , if I can't help people , I think I die , like my job's done here .
You know what I'm saying ? Yeah , if it threw me on the island , I don't have no fucking reason to live . You know what I'm saying ? Yeah , if it threw me on the island , I don't have no fucking reason to live . You know what I'm saying ?
Yeah , um , but yeah , like , I think that it's almost like because of the fact that I'm trying to help people and if there's , if there's a method that I've developed that is effective and that's part of the key of that , of course , I'm going to follow that as much as possible to ensure that those people who do touch that are able to touch , I am able to
help . You know what I'm saying ?
Harris , I was just speaking . I don't know if you listened to it . I actually spoke . Yeah , I did .
Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah , I feel like my mom messaged me . Sorry , she's giving you fake news . She wants to be on the pod . No , I sent my mother uh mother's day gift a couple months ago that she never fucking put up .
I spent a lot of money on it cheese okay , like for me at least , not for you , uh so well , that's very good , harris , what you just did what for me not for you , no , no , no , you just did a very specific thing .
That's a very good communication style . You know what you just did . No , you made it relative to yourself and to , like , it's subjective right . That means it's to you . Like you say hey , to me it's a lot , to you it's not . You understand the difference that you know . This is good . Yeah , just keep doing that and that's good .
It kind of ticked me off off that she didn't put it up . Put up what on Facebook . I paid a lot of money . I sent a picture to a company to have it basically printed on canvas and have it sent to her for Mother's Day . I did two pictures came out to a decent amount of money .
How much is it ? So I know it's to you , I know how much it would hurt you .
It was like 75 to 90 . I took a lot of time doing this . I had to get the perfect pictures to the perfect size . We know how hard math is . No , fuck you bro , it's not size . I needed to lighten the picture up , I needed to download it to the computer and fucking do it perfectly .
So when I sent the picture in , they could just print it on and it came out perfect .
If you go through the whole process in front of me again , I'll give you the $75 .
Would you stop it , man ? What do you mean by light ? You have to edit the . What do you mean by light Like what I had it originally on my phone .
Yeah , and when I put it on the canvas originally it looked blurry , okay , like when I uploaded it . Okay . So me and my dad downloaded it onto the computer and we lit it up a little bit .
So what do you mean by that ? Lit it up , they used flashlights and we took the picture no , no , no , no no .
There's certain settings on his computer , right , you can lighten the picture up . You can do certain things to it . Yeah , okay , we did that . That's grainy as fuck , right , it was grainy as fuck from the phone , bro . You think on the phone , right ? You download it off of . My sister-in-law posted it .
I thought it would be nice for my mom to have a canvas of her grandchildren and a picture of her with her grandchildren for Mother's Day , and I put a lot of work into this .
But for the past , fucking months it's been sitting in a fucking box . It's like what ?
are you waiting for ? Okay , okay , and she goes . I haven't had the time Listen . You know this is ridiculous . I did something nice . I even got it to her before Mother's Day , put a lot of effort into this gift . It's probably one of my best gifts , yeah , and she just let it sit in the box . For what ? When was Mother's Day May ?
I don't know For what Five . Five months .
Six months . Yeah , see , this is a very good topic , harris , yeah Right , expectations Right , we expected something . Yeah , we had a very specific outcome that we wanted . Oh , yeah Right , we wanted her to post this on .
Facebook . That's a whole other shenanigan .
Yeah , I did such a good thing . You know what I mean . Like why am I not being praised here ? You know what ?
I mean , it's not about praise , it's I felt a little disrespected . Why ? Because I did this , my mom , how about I ?
tell you this , based on what I know and I'm going to play devil's advocate here your mom is not in good health . Okay , yes or no ? Well , yeah , but this is before . Wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait , wait . Listen to me , your mom has a lot on her plate , absolutely , yeah , absolutely right .
So if your mom is not in good health and she has a lot on her plate , right , individuals that are not in good health and have a lot on their plate the last thing , the last thing they want to fucking meddle is with some boxes , something that's going to like , you know , like , take away their time , right , like whatever it is that they're doing in the
moment . They're fucking preoccupied with bad health because you know they're sick , right , your mom went through surgery . You know , I know this , these details , and I know that she's having to fucking babysit the kids . Like that's a lot of fucking work .
She hasn't done it in a couple months . I and babysit the kids .
That's a lot of fucking work . She hasn't done it in a couple months . I'm just saying she has a lot on her plate . So , knowing these things , I almost know that , like yo , look , she's not going to get to this fucking box that you fucking sent . You know what I'm saying .
It's almost expected , but for you , because you had so much attachment towards it , like did such a good gesture , where the fuck are you without considering her situation ? Yeah , are you being ?
a good son by judging her ? No , okay , yeah , also like the judgment of like , what's a good gift ? It's like you . You thought that this may have been a good gift , yeah , right , but it proved to me otherwise that this was a terrible gift she might have .
No actually she might have been more suited for , uh for , for a bag of weed or something yeah , what is wrong with you ?
But ? He's right , he's driving a point , actually it was such a good gift that Brittany John's wife was fucking jealous . She's like yo , what the fuck .
I gotta get me a couple of weed . Your gift has brought out jealousy , which is not a good feeling , right ? No ? And someone else , but your family associates somebody being jealous as a good thing .
Well , it's a good thing , because she's like she has to get herself some of these and my mom goes . You need to send me the link you did because Brittany wants to get it done .
You know , but Guys do you understand what kind of world you meddling in .
No , I don't bro . What are you trying to say ?
I'm saying exactly what I'm trying to say . This is what I usually do when I communicate , so you can feel offended or whatever it is because I'm trying to offend you right now , my world's fucked up is what you're saying . Think what you just said , mike .
Jealousy is a good thing .
Jealousy in my family is a good thing , because they end up getting the same fucking thing . She ordered a bunch of fucking pictures that . I sent her the link . This is how they associated this Totally .
How do you know this was a good gift ? He well , the reason why this was a good gift is because Brittany actually was very jealous of this thing and was pissed .
My mom just sent me a text Okay , I want a journey to go ahead . Better late than never . Lol , no , I'm not . Here's the canvas I had the picture printed on .
What kind of picture is this bro ?
Wait , who is this ? That's Tatiana , tommy and Michaela .
So there is no naked dick pics . What ?
is wrong with you , it's the kids man .
Oh , this is the tater and gator . Yeah , tater and gator , tater and gator .
Let me see something here .
Okay .
Here , just so you know when I .
That's a whole nother subject , like the gift giving thing . Yeah , that's like a deep , deep .
Well , it's a nice picture , it is yeah .
Don't drop the phone , man , you gotta point it up .
Don't drop the soap man . Point it up .
Is there more tequila Harris ? Can you ask Elder to pour me some , if you ?
don't mind , Not too much . Elder .
I got you , Mike .
Okay , so what are you trying to say ?
with this example , harris , if they end up marrying each other . It'll be a good picture to have too , Like when they're older . That's what .
I'm saying what is wrong with you , bro .
There's a lot that's wrong with me , man , we're going to identify it . They're siblings , okay , so what are ?
you saying Harris , I'm saying you know , I was just a little ticked off . Why what ?
do you mean ? I'm trying to challenge you to say that you shouldn't be Right . Knowing your mom's situation , I understand her situation .
Hold on .
I actually went through the same thing . I'll give you my example , right .
My sister was over . Oh , I remember you told me about this . I know where this is going .
Go ahead . Oh , you got $10 . He has no idea .
Is this when your sister came to visit you making a bet , or no ? I'll bet you $10 .
All right , good , so now I'm going to say let me say the story and then you'll be honest whether or not this is exactly what this is going . My sister was over right , and a lot of times they were raving about Archie and Penny . They really liked the dogs , you know , I mean not them .
My niece really liked the dogs , just , oh , you know , whatever , whatever you know , and one night when we were over the parents house , right , what happened was they had some meat that they made for the dogs you know , and my niece was like I'll take an ownership of it . Like , hey , I guess that's for me .
You know , like I made the meat for the dogs , you know what I mean . And I'm like , oh , that's cool , you know that them yet ? Oh no , they weren't there . I came by myself and they're like , where are the dogs ? I'm like , oh , they're at home with cat . You know what I mean . Like oh , mila made some meat .
You know my mom's playing along with this situation . Like they made meat for the dogs and mila was gonna feed the dogs with this meat send them one , harris . Thanks , okay , I already did yeah , so so I was like , oh , this is nice , you know what I mean , like that's cool , you know .
And so I'm like , you know , I , I , my mom , gives the meat , that little piece of meat , uh , to to my niece , and my niece gives the , the meat to me . And I'm like I'll make sure to feed the dogs , not tell them that you , what's his name ? You made it , you made the meat . You know , I bring the meat to the house and the dogs are ready .
I'm like , oh , I , oh , I'm gonna take a little video for her . You know what I mean . I'm going to make a nice little video , you know . So I feed them , I make the little video of the meat feeding me , feeding them the meat . And I went as far as not just making the video because I wanted to color it . You know , like , make it nice .
I edited the video . It took me a while , probably an hour , you know what I mean , but I enjoyed doing it and I was like I was really into it . I was like , yo , I can't wait for her reaction . I can't , you know , like all this other stuff , I send the video out into the family group chat . I get no responses .
Oh wow , till this day I didn't get zero responses . Okay .
And now I'm't get no responses .
And I was like how am I supposed to feel about this ? I checked myself . I wasn't pissed off , but I kept checking . I was like , wait , I got an attachment to this shit . What the fuck ? You know what I'm saying , so I'll show you guys the video .
Well , my mom thanked me . It was beautiful , all this shit but she didn't mean it she meant it , she felt bad man . No , she didn't bro she was like oh man , I don't have any pictures that's after you fucking badgered her too .
Yeah , you made her feel guilty . What the hell man ? I spent all this money . No , I didn't do that .
She received it . She said it's absolutely wonderful . I cried a little bit . Brittany's a little jealous . She's got to get herself some . Oh , you added music . What the fuck ? You really did some work on this , okay . That was a good one .
Okay , that was Podarov at Miloške .
That's it , cut it right away .
Yeah , you had a music going on yours . I did everything Dude Did they see this .
It sounds like no one saw it , right ? Yeah , because you can't not reply to this .
Did they just ignore it ? What is it ? I don't know . Did you ever bring it up ? No , I moved on .
You should have showed it to at least your niece . I thought the certain type of way , you know what I mean . But then I was like why am I still a certain type of way Like I did ? What ?
I did . You should have at least showed it to your niece the next time you see her .
Sure , I can , but you know , we'll talk about this Like we'll unpack this a little bit more .
Who's singing the song ? I don't know . I found something cool . I thought you knew it's a fucking sick song , man you like it , yeah , okay , so you guys will watch this too , okay . Reminds me a little bit of that Green Day and the vibes going on .
Man Throw it to Mike and Harris , Let them watch it together . Harry you ready ? Take off your headphones , get closer .
Reminds me of the Green Day vibe . I'm trying to do something weird again , so close . Okay , that's perfect , I'll use the bathroom . What the hell is it , jose ? There's a gift for me .
Let's see it . Damn , that's cool . Holy shit bro . Holy shit , I don't know , you think she'll remember the song .
Yeah , she might dude .
She's game over , come on . No , that's pretty cool . Pam Wins , you remember ? Remember that , don't you ? Girly ? Did you cry ?
No , I don't know , how you fucking did that , bro , but that's pretty cool dude .
Harris almost cried no , I didn't bro Bro , that was fucking cool . How did you do the fucking the side effects ?
Well look like I said . I think , it's the same type of story that you had . Right , you took your time , right , you put your emotion into it , feelings and stuff like that , and your time and money or whatever , but then you didn't get anything back right , I gotta thank you and all that it was wonderful .
I cried a little bit . You know what the hell ? No , that's what my mom said . She said she cried a little bit . It was probably the best gift I ever did , but it sat in a box for a while .
For a while , exactly , but in that meantime , right but she did move there a couple months before . Okay , so there's reasons why she didn't see it , or whatever , right .
But a lot of times , what we will do , right , people that so-called you know have an attachment towards doing a good thing , like me , and you did a good thing , or totally doing a good thing , right we're like , we're misunderstood , because we're like , oh , like , we didn't get the response that we wanted . You know what I mean .
Like , and I had to check myself . In that moment , I'm like , wow , why am I feeling this way ? Like you know , I thought I did something good and like I'll record it , I'll make sure to , like , you know , go way and beyond to please them , or whatever . And then when I did that , I didn't get no responses . I was like what the fuck ?
I had to check myself . Like , I said like , who did I do it for ? You did it for yourself .
There you go , because you had a good time , you enjoyed yourself Like .
I got it , I got it out . So what the fuck are you complaining about ? Right , I did it , I did it , and if I didn't get the proper response , that's okay . That's okay , that's perfectly fine , all right . So what ? I'm saying Harris a lot of times ? Yeah , I'm listening .
Of course you are . Come on , I'm listening . Yeah , a lot of times our expectations .
That's what you set out to be right . The expectations don't meet right . The results that the world has for us right . The external world right has its own equation . Your mom's equation was what she was sick , she was busy with the kids and she just moved . Yeah , I don't know what my sisters or my parents' equation was . My mom didn't even respond to it .
Right and your mom usually responds to everything and my mom usually is like yo , this is so good , oh , she's all lively and all this other stuff , right ?
I don't know what the equation was , but there's definitely an equation . Maybe they just missed it , maybe the message didn't go through , maybe , but it showed that it was seen by everyone . Oh , everybody's seen it , everybody's seen it , everybody's seen it .
You guys reacted pretty well , maybe you ticked someone off man , I don't know , maybe they thought you were trolling .
Yeah yeah , I don't know Whatever , but what I'm saying is that a lot of times , what we do is we put our chips onto the world , right , and we're expecting for the world to react to our chips a very specific way , for us to feel a very specific way .
I know , because when I asked my mom I was like , hey , did you hang those pictures up ? Yet she's like no , and I was disappointed a little bit , you see .
There you go . This is what I'm talking about , because you want her to function on your time and Tolis want her to function on your time . Yeah , and Toli wants you to function on his time .
Okay , see how that relates .
And it keeps going and going and going . You had a good intention , right ? Yeah , toli has good intentions , yeah , but it's not synchronizing yet . That's the problem . I had a good intention , too , and it made me feel a certain type of way . I let go of it .
I moved on and we will all move on , but what we're trying to figure out is how do we communicate with the external world in such a way where , most of the time , we get exactly what we want versus not , and I think that's a challenge for everybody . And if we can crack it and find out . We can be very happy . And I think we can do it .
I mean , overall I'm not happy . This was like a kink in my process , because usually I get exactly what I want out of life and in that case I didn't , and that was very funny to me . So any thoughts ? Harris , was this dumbed down to you ? No , I'm sorry .
Yes , you compared it to what I was going through . Totally , yes , I understand .
I want to hear what is Actually . No , I don't want to hear it .
You want to hear how I understood it ?
No , yes , you do . No , I wasn't saying that . What ?
No , the way I felt is how totally feels .
Yeah sometimes and the way I felt .
But the thing is , if you look behind the feelings , what you're actually saying is I did this for you , yeah , and I think selfishly is also important . It's like you're not doing it for a reason . That's selfless . You're doing it ultimately for yourself by putting your own attachment to it .
And that's like a big violation . You want to make yourself feel good by the response Like oh , this is amazing , Did you ?
guys perceive me as being a good guy for making this video now .
Yeah , A little bit right , yeah , oh , look at this . Eldar cares for his niece so much . You know what I mean .
You see that yeah . Oh , Harris , emotion you know Bullshit , shit , my pan wins . You know Lick attack ?
Yeah , I think both examples are definitely similar . Yeah , even though I mean , I guess , giving of a gift but also giving I guess I don't know how to phrase what totally is giving .
A gift . It's a gift , mike . It's also also a gift . Yeah , knowledge , giving away knowledge and stuff like that's also a gift . Yeah , you know what I mean ? I think uh . However , like I said , uh , sometimes the gift is not properly timed .
Look at her paw on his head .
Oh my god , I just kind of gotta let it go , man .
Yeah , just let her do her thing , let her get it out yeah , yeah , I think you give the gift , not , yeah , maybe not for the reason to get some kind of praise from somebody else , but because you have a genuine desire and whatever comes after you do that . It doesn't even it's like irrelevant , I guess , right ? No , or it doesn't matter as much .
You know what it's a best case scenario to be able to put out into the world and still receive something , but not from the external world , if that makes sense .
The act of giving itself already gives back to you . I felt good doing it , bro , well yeah . You're feeling yourself by doing that . Why the fuck did I need a reaction in order to validate what I was feeling ? I don you I felt good doing it , bro , yeah , well yeah you're feeling yourself by doing that .
Why the fuck did I need a reaction in order to validate what I was feeling ?
I don't think yeah , I don't know if you needed a reaction , but you were more surprised that like yeah , but what does ?
it mean the act of giving already . You were saying the act of giving already . What ?
the act of giving is already a gift , so what does that mean ? It means by you doing what you did , it filled him . By him doing that , it's already filling him because he had so much fun and enjoyment of doing that . That is , of doing what . What he created , not by what then happens from those actions , but the act of his creation was very .
So the act of him creating this video and , for example , not showing it to anybody , like if that happened , right , not sending it to anybody Do you think that would work in the same way ?
The way we're wired ? Probably not , but maybe in the right way . It's supposed to work like that .
So in the moment , you feel great , no , no , no , no no , I think that the motivating factor , at least least , was the fact that I wanted her to see it .
Yeah , like I don't think the act of giving without like a reciprocated party . You can't be like I , like I , like I can never like um . Let's say like um , like I can't just like like I .
I wouldn't find enjoyment if I'm teaching sales and I'm talking to a turtle , but I'm just reciting it out loud and saying it out loud , but trying to teach a turtle or maybe an inanimate object , that I don't think would feel good . So the act of giving , Somebody's got to be receiving .
Yeah , there has to be a receiving party , and then there has to be an energy like exchange from the receiving party for the act of giving to feel good . Otherwise I don't think it'll feel good . So is it ?
ever genuine . For when you receive that , you know , oh wow , it's wonderful . Is it really wonderful or is it just ? You're just saying that ? Good question , harris because in the moment you're like , oh , they really like it . But the question deep down is do they actually like it or are they just trying to make you feel well ?
you have to think about what you're giving the gift for . Are you giving the gift because , like , you want them to feel a particular way , or to act a particular way , or to give you something back , for example , like if you're ?
Certain response like I think , when it comes to giving it feels good , I think only when there's there has to be some kind of exchange for it to feel good . I don't think it just feels good . I think only when there has to be some kind of exchange for it to feel good .
I don't think it just feels good to give no , no , no , it feels good to maybe create . I was creating and I definitely was feeling good . You know what I mean . Yeah , the reciprocation of it didn't feel good because there was no reciprocation which was expected by me , and I checked myself , I was still like , okay , well , I didn't plan for that .
That caught me off guard .
If he didn't plan for that , it caught him off guard . The actual process of , for example , when it did work out . Which process do you think is more fulfilling ? The act of the creation ?
If you were to isolate the two . I'd probably say the act of creation . I agree with you but the act of creation is fueled by what reciprocation ?
yeah , I don't think that you can just like . I don't think he would have made that video and just saved it into your hard drive or deleted it .
Well , that's why I think buddhas do what they do , do with mandalas , right , they do it and then they delete it you know , like that , that would be like you know , no , but I agree , but I think you know the , the his , the experience that he had .
That's also very like fulfilling no , but the experience wouldn't have been fulfilling as fulfilling if , if it wasn't to be shared or if there was no desire fueled behind sharing it , like if he went into it saying I'm going to create this video and then I'm just going to store it into my drive and no one will see it .
One he would have never wanted to make that video to begin with so it was fueled by for others to enjoy it , for example , and when others didn't enjoy it , he felt a particular way about it initially , you know , but then he kind of saw it for like . Then he probably thought about the situation and realized what's happening .
You know , did you ask for a sock ?
No , man , I threw it to you .
Oh sorry , yeah , so it's the same way know , you didn't ask for a sock , no man , I threw it to you . Oh sorry , but uh yeah . So it's the same way there . Like you're not going to create to begin with , if it's not Fuel , if that type of like , there's a fuel there , fuel is not there , you know .
I'm going to describe my feeling . It's probably going to . When you were making it , it felt great , it was fun , of course , it was awesome . And then , when you sent it and you didn't get the response you want , you were like fuck that dude , fuck this . Yeah , I went through those feelings .
I'm like I'm not sending anything again . But then I have to check myself .
I'm like , no , I'm'm going to keep doing what I got to do because it's the right thing to do , but in the moment you saw all this fucking hard work and it didn't , nothing came of it . Yeah , fuck it , that's our ego talking .
That's our pride . My pride was , you know , shot down it's like you know . And I didn't go . This happened a while ago .
This is when they were here , what I mean . So , like I'm not gonna go and I already forgot about , the only reason why I remember it is because of this . I let go of it , you know ? I mean I'm moving on . Well , I kind of forgot about it . You know my mom's thing except she sent me a message on message now , better late than never .
And I'm like , oh shit , she still hasn't put it up . Yeah , but I really didn't give a shit anymore . It's like , hey , but the whole point was right . It's like , you know , I sent these things to her . I was like it took some time of mine , you know , but if she's not going to hang up the pictures , I just won't send her .
You know things like that anymore . Yeah , hang up , it's never going to be put up . But then I have to think back to growing up . Right , we moved around different apartments a lot , so we never really hung pictures on the wall . You know that type of shit , so it can't really surprise me .
There you go , right . So now it made sense . You made sense of the situation right now , which can help you in the future to prevent certain feelings going through certain things , and that's also part of communicating properly . Gift giving is also a form of communication , right , and a lot of times , it's a form of communication without communicating .
How's that ?
Gift giving . Right , it's a form of communication , so it is communicating , so I don't know what you're trying to say Without talking basically Fine , okay , usually you just give the gift and you go no , you give it to them right you
give it to them like , yeah , I thought this fit perfect for you , and the only response you usually get is oh , thank you , or what the fuck is this , bro ? Yeah yeah but a lot of times you know . So what are we saying here ? Are we saying anything ?
yeah , well , but a lot of times you know yeah , yeah , so what are we saying here ? Are we saying anything ?
Yeah Well , it was all about communicating , bro , right , but you know you can't take things too personally , basically , oh , I think no , go ahead . It's about getting your emotions high .
No , harris what we talked about is . The fact is this A lot of times . We want to communicate right onto the world , right , we want to say something to the world , to the people around us , but half the world doesn't understand . Okay , fine , yes , this is correct . We want a very specific answer . We want like ah , I want them to respond this way .
A lot of times , we don't get those responses . It makes us feel a certain type of way . What we're trying to say here is that we can actually communicate with the world in such a way where we can , a lot of times not all the time a lot of times get exactly the response that we want out of the world , and that's what's going to make us happy .
However , that takes a lot of practice , empowerment of ourselves , right , in order to get there . It's not easy , but we can get there , and if we do , we will be happy because we're constantly communicating . For example , harris , you came in here , into this office , spewing a whole bunch of bullshit .
Say it , it Fuck you .
Is this true or not ? Yeah , absolutely , you see . And now everybody that's here , they're listening , they're like Harris , you just said that you weigh 215 . Let's go check that .
Well , yeah , you know .
I've been eating .
I fucking estimated 215 .
Okay , yeah , estimated , you got on the scale . You weigh 202 . Make it , I've been eating . I fucking estimated 215 . Okay , yes , just put it at that . Estimated , you got on the scale . You weighed 202 . Naked , I wasn't naked . We did not see you . Chewy , I wasn't naked , you were naked , but you weighed a 202 . Yeah , that's a big discrepancy .
It is absolutely Okay . You see , what I'm saying Is that we're actually paying attention here . So all the stuff that you're trying to communicate , it's inefficient and it's not working here . So what's ? going to happen is in order for you to survive in this type of environment , you have to adjust . It's part of learning . Yeah , a new way to communicate .
If you don't figure it out , it's going to be very difficult . Fake news , fake news , fake news . That is why , fridays right , when we sit down and we try to understand the communication style , we clearly see that you're still struggling .
We're trying to help you understand how to communicate in the sales world and when you do figure this thing out , harris , you will be successful . Up until then , you're going to be a loser and you're going to feel exactly how you felt today .
Oh , fuck you One day , but not today .
You got to stay . One day that's going to be extinct yeah , just not today , the fuck you's . I'm waiting for .
Tully to do it , because Tully does it a certain way one day Tully does it really well he goes one day , but not today , but not today . He does like a pause . One day , yeah , but not today .
Yeah , he's doing it really well .
Alright , you understand yeah okay , very good , can you please say it ? What ? Very good , can you please say it ? What Do you say it a specific way .
I'll say it one day , but not today .
You can't do it with a laugh though he does a two-minute pause One day . The first couple times I heard it it hits home or no . He goes one day and he does a pause . Where I go one day , what ? But not today .
Good , you like his form of communication Sometimes . Sometimes , Sometimes , sometimes , yeah , so I think that if we learn how to communicate properly , we can have fun . We can have a lot of fun . Everywhere , Mike . On the basketball court . You see this shit , bro . You know what I mean . I'm trolling these motherfuckers , these motherfuckers telling me certain things .
Sometimes I'm around totally too much . Yeah , because then I say shit , like we were at that restaurant that one time and I was sitting next to Tom and I went , and I went , what are you saying ? Fucking around totally ? Too much bro .
Like yeah , I'm around too totally way too much , man , because I'm mimicking him , I'm fucking . It's supposed to work like that . Don't worry about it . The more you're around us , you listen , I'm developing a lizard . No , you're not yes , I am .
No , you're not . It's not coming out yet , but I think I am .
What do you ? Why do you say that I feel like he doesn't hang around me enough ?
well , yeah , for sure , for sure . Little well , because you're oppressing him . He's in first grade , you're in 12th grade . Why do you ?
think you're developing a fucking lizard . I'm watching you . I'm observing your ass you're drinking your cap , going this is kind of good .
I'm telling you it's internal right now sometimes , sometimes , so you better watch out man when I yawn , I yawn like Archie , like I'll stick out the lizard .
Yeah , because when he does it it looks so satisfying . You know what I'm talking about .
When he does a deep yawn , what like the , the lazy yawn , the long one yeah . Sometimes I'll do that when I'm Are you talking the way they go ?
Yes , like yeah , yeah , that's exactly what we're talking about . Listen , we always , we mimic , we constantly .
I know Totally was saying how he was . Who was saying it ? Was it you that said I was saying the fuck you all the time that you know he started saying it Totally , saying it to me right now .
Yeah , it's like , oh fuck you , he does it really well , started saying it Totally , saying it to me right now . Yeah it's like , oh fuck you . He does it really well , the punchline is really good , but you know , oh fuck you .
You hear something ? Oh , fuck you . You've pressed the wrong fucking button . Yes , I did . I'm a little bit , you know , chewy . Yeah , do you goddamn mind ? How do you what ? You have two different you-out-of-year-gods , oh fuck you .
I do have two different ones .
Oh , you know what ? Fuck you guys . This fucking shit . How many times are you going to play this Everything's Nate , this Nate that , Nate that ? If Nate's listening to this , fuck you .
I never thought I didn't realize how fucking loud that was Good , but yeah , you're around people , enough you get I if you get , you do get I don't want to say influenced that sounds bad why ?
it's just a natural , natural transfer of , like you know , we mimic each other . We , if we like something , we adopt it and stuff like that .
It keeps going back it sounds so like you're being influenced . You know like it's a bad thing .
It's like a part of life , part of our condition copying , mimicking and learning .
You mean most of the shit I learned off John and all the other fucking brothers . 100% yeah .
And TV . Well , the key is to find your own little groove you know what I mean . To find out after you've learned a lot of stuff and then choose what you want to do , so you can have your own personality , be your own being .
Yeah , you know , like I always talked about , like I want to do stupid shit , right ? Yeah , where do you think I learned that from ? Like I grew up watching jackass and I think it's like this awesome fucking thing yeah , jump out of a fucking plane without a fucking parachute . Yeah , risk life and limb bro . Yeah , yeah , because , dude , they come on .
You watch jackass . They look like they're having a fucking grand old time , like they get fucking hurt , but they're fucking laughing about it like I want to fucking experience the fucking adrenaline rush . Yeah , but you've never done any of those things so you didn't get influenced by it . I mean , I've done some pretty stupid shit .
Come on , even as a fucking kid I tried to mimic shit , right ? My buddy had like this small gold car , right right , I was the dumb ass that decided I was gonna try to fucking uh , put my foot outside of his little go two-seater gold card and fucking rip my entire fucking toenail off the fucking dick in there . You know how painful that fucking shit is .
Or or my next door neighbor had this fucking dog that was on the fucking leash and he was running towards me and I called him over and I wanted to dodge the fucking leash and end up fucking scraping up my fucking neck . The school thought I was fucking being abused . They call it fucking dyphus . Hmm , yeah , it's a whole investigation into that .
One thing I wanted to bring up is when we were talking about why it's done . Sometimes , in the moment , it feels like when you're either helping somebody or explaining something to someone or teaching them . The metaphorical way of like doing it is that like , did you guys see the movie Princess Bride ?
No , are you kidding me ? What the fuck is that ? Are you kidding me ?
Princess .
Bride Are you ? You have not seen that movie out there .
No , please tell me you were on a date , bro . Maybe I did . Let me Google it real quick .
Are you kidding me Totally , please . You're on a date , bro , maybe I did .
Let me Google it real quick .
Are you kidding me Totally ? Please tell me you're on a date , bro .
This is one of the best movies ever . What the fuck ? Is this a chick flick ?
Are you kidding ?
This is one of my favorite movies ever . Hey , Eldar , tell me the truth . Is this a chick flick ?
It looks like a love movie , but it says family comedy . Is this family ?
comedy Show me it .
Is this this ? It's 1987 ?
You have not seen this .
Wait , wait , fuck me . You saw this fucking movie .
You fucking Over 20 times Elder from start to finish . Are you kidding me ? Yo whoa , whoa , whoa . Please tell me you were with a girl . Oh shit . No , it has nothing to do with that . Elder , you have not seen this .
No , it's 8 out of 10 . 96% .
Hold up , hold up , mike , you have not seen this . I don't know what it is , but I don't think so . Is this like a Disney movie ?
Wait , his face looks very familiar .
His face looks very familiar .
Andre the Giant is in it .
Oh , I see the guy that looks like Harris is in it from my Dinner with Andre . Oh , fuck you , oh , my God oh my God , yeah , all these guys you watched this . You have not seen this movie .
Elder . No , it looks like a chick flick , doesn't it ?
All right , saturday . We're going to your house Tomorrow after the UFC fights Harris . It's a date you and Tony watching this movie naked Fuck you bro , this looks like a fucking chick flick , does it not ?
It has nothing to do with being a chick flick .
Tell us what that is , or we'll have to wait . You want to make a point .
Yeah , make a point , but it's not going to give away anything in the movie .
You only watch the chick flicks when .
There's a forest and two people have to escape and the guy's like no , we can't go through here , because this is like the forest of death , like no one survives , the forest of death , you know .
And then like um , just just just to give like the uh , the analogy , like , like um , sometimes I viewed as that don't , don't look up anything about it , what's wrong with you ? Don't , don't look up anything about it , what's wrong with you ?
Um , uh , when , when you're uh , teaching somebody something or helping them with something , right , um , um , oftentimes to me in the it , in a particular moment , when , like maybe , if I'm not thinking or whatnot , it feels like you're going on like a particular adventure , like with them , right , and when you're doing it , it feels like you've been there and you've
done that , okay . And like so . So imagine there's this forest of death , right , that like , let's say , no one survives or something , Okay , Right , but you've been through it already and you know that you could send them through it and that's what it is . But if it's a scenario where like hey , you're with me .
I've been through this forest of death and I know what's to happen , right . So the way it feels sometimes is that when I am involved in the situation that if we're walking through and he's like , oh right , here's a trap , oh right , here , there's a huge animal here that we have to fight .
It feels that because I've walked through this , I've been there and I've done that and I know what this is , that , since we're in this together , in a way , I feel that , letting somebody fall in those moments or get attacked by that beast that I knew was right there , right , or stuff like that , it it feels like , um , like , like it feels like uh , like
something bad happened on on my like , on my watch , even though I knew like about it , maybe , like you like . Here's my question to you ?
Yeah . Were they completely oblivious in that moment ? Who the individuals that were about to hit that trap ?
Well , the thing is that that that I the the the issue with it , I think , to begin with , is just that , like the person doesn't say , hey , I'm going to come with you to this forest of death , everything that you do , I'm going to listen to , Everything that's going to happen , I'm going to follow your lead , and this is like a bound by death contract .
It's not like this is what's agreed upon to in all of these types of situations . Otherwise , there would be no lessons needing to learn . Maybe you already figured out's say like , yeah , like a lot of things , or a majority of things , and like yo , everyone else is good now , because , like , they're just gonna listen , you know , but that doesn't happen .
But it feels in the moment that like , hey , like , why are we going to hit my , hit our head against this wall ?
I know it's there , you know , yeah , so I feel the need to intervene and make sure we don't hit this wall , because this is on my watch , yeah , now , if you were going through this alone and I'm not helping you or I'm not , like you know , I'm saying anything , fine , okay , right , or if , like you choose to go on on your own and you were just asking for
advice . I could tell you like , hey , on the right there's a giant rat . On the left there's a huge bear . Straight ahead , there's a tree that's going to fall , then there's going to be a spike . Pick which one you want .
That's how it feels , like at times , I feel the need to like that and then oftentimes again feel the need to like that and then oftentimes again , the struggle with communication is that I feel like , while we're going to this forest or something like that , I feel feelings of you know , at times like betrayal , or like the person's angry at me right , um , right ,
or like you know those kinds of things yeah , right , because I got it wrong from the beginning , because this person did not agree to this thing , right , or it's like again , like all those words that they say when you get like married , right , what they say , yeah sickness and health and this and that , once you'll be there , this and this and this and this ,
right , yeah and then no one follows that bullshit , you know ?
um , so like , yeah , that's what happens and it's oftentimes it's probably just a overextension on my end in the moment and you gotta set it yourself , yeah , yeah yeah , and then you don't see it that it's yourself , but in the moment , yeah , it is actually yeah yeah , and now I'm just seeing it more that like , um , it doesn't matter how much you progress on
something if you don't have the ability to properly communicate , then , like , you can only go as far as , like , selfishly benefiting to a certain point .
but I also have a theory of actual that like , like , like , like , like , like , by you actually not ever learning that skill , you almost like , the better you get at something , you almost create like an internal cancer that spreads everywhere on that thing If you don't have the ability to communicate it or share it .
Well , that's an interesting theory .
What do you mean by that ? Like , like , if you , if you continued something right , yeah , and you got really good at it right , oh shit , the better you get at it and the less you're able to communicate , the more it eats at you inside . Wow , Because then you're actually now reversing it back on yourself and you're ruining everything .
It's almost too much to handle . Yeah , yeah .
What the fuck are you talking about ?
Yeah , remember that point of the podcast in the beginning when I said you could just get up and leave because you won't be able to understand anything .
Yeah .
And that's what I felt . Oh , fuck , yeah . And that's what I felt last night . Wow , is that like you're're gonna keep improving at this ? You could keep doing it . Yeah , you could know it on whatever next level . Wow , but if you don't have the ability to communicate properly , what a curse , or yeah , becomes actually a bad thing .
Yeah , because you're only you're , you can only go so far selfishly by yourself and lonely and you're lonely , yo motherfucker what the ? Fuck you doing .
you said I don't understand this man .
Okay , fine , but I'm trying to dumb it down for you , man . You ain't dumb and shit man . Alright , you ready . Yeah , come on . He's saying he found a gold mine , he has a shovel , he has 10 shovels , but he can't give it to anybody Because they don't see them . What the fuck's wrong with you , man ?
What they're invisible shovels . How does he make them visible there you ?
go Gotta , make them visible so the individuals can grab them and start shoveling .
Yeah , is that what he was talking about yesterday when he came in talking about Listen , yeah , I got these shovels . Yes , well , he didn't describe it , right , man .
Well , he had't describe it right . Man , he had gold mine , but he can't share it with anybody .
He just came in out of nowhere he goes , like there's a gold mine and I got two shovels .
How about this ? I'll give you a different one that you'll be able to understand . Well , I understood that . Imagine he just going in to rob a bank . He comes in with the guns and nobody's there and all the safes are open and there's so much money , but he only has two duffel bags Two . But he needs 2,000 to get everything out and he has no help .
But he only has one hour . You know what I'm saying ? This is the analogy . He comes in and he's like holy shit , what have I discovered here , Mike ? How you doing .
What I was saying was Harris , can you ?
do absolutely nothing .
I got it . I got it . What I was saying was totally . When you came in yesterday and out of nowhere , gave me an analogy that this is a gold mine , I have two shovels , I had no idea what the fuck you were talking about Out of nowhere . You came over here . He's like . You just got to understand this is a gold mine . I have two shovels .
Yeah , I know there was no context into it . Well , do you get ?
it a little bit now . Yeah , what that means is that he's clicking .
I understood it now because you dumbed it down right . You came to me and you said this is a gold mine . He has two shovels . He wants you to take one . He wants to give me a piece of it . Yes .
So you can do the same thing that he's doing , because what he's doing is good , he likes it , he enjoys it . This is where you want to be right . So you should be fucking ripping your hair out to find out how to do this , how to see this fucking shovel , so you can pick it up . I'm like totally I got it .
I just want to state one thing how the hell did you not know how to dumb that down ? Man , I wasn't trying to . That's funny , like that's the same .
I wasn't trying to actually's funny , like that's a simple thing , I wasn't trying to actually have you understand that in that moment .
Well , I mean , that's simple for me to understand , right , I have two shovels . I want you to take one . Yeah , you had me scratching my head for half the fucking day , man . That's the whole fucking point , though , of what I was saying . Well , there's no way I was going to figure that shit out .
But I wasn't trying to get you to figure it out .
Then what was the point of telling me ?
man , he's preparing you , he's trying to level you up . Harris , you have to understand one thing what we're trying to do , we're trying to figure out a way to level you up .
I know that .
Yeah , and if you're able to be leveled up and you level up , I'm going to one day say , hey , harris , and then , once you're ready shoveling , I'm going to be like , hey Harris , remember those two shovels I was talking about ? Uh-huh , you remember those , yeah , and what are you going to say ? Yeah , what about them ? You're going to be already holding them .
Oh Understand .
And then I'm not going to have it , and then my pressure is going to build up to the point where I need to give it to someone else , that is correct .
That is the ideal thing and that's what in companies right , they talk about building teams and then passing this on , passing on this knowledge . You can have people working for you , like your brother or whatever Whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , whoa , I'm just saying . Or John , or whoever you can pass on this knowledge . It is very difficult to pass this on .
It is very difficult to make people successful . It's very hard , even though everyone , quote , unquote wants to be successful . You want a lot of money , right , we have the equations to get there . He has the equations to become a successful salesperson right , I have a successful equation to become whatever it is in this office , right .
Production , for example right , I have those equations I do . Whoever is going to be able to be open to them receives it . If they're not open to it , they won't receive it , and that's just the way that it is . Do you understand ? Yeah , I do Boom . So are we doing better on communicating ? I'm trying to . So .
Are we up against Alzheimer's every single time that we have our amnesia , that every time that he has to forget what we talked about or we forget what we talked about ? So we can be reminded every time that tomorrow morning that we will completely forget what we talked about well , yeah , the thing is that the the burden is always on the person that knows .
So the person that knows right , so the person that knows , if they do find that valuable and know that , like this is what's needed what's important , then they're the ones that need to yeah , spread that , spread it and repeat it and do it .
Do whatever it takes to uh , to uh , do it , because a person that doesn't know they're never gonna meet you at that place , you know .
And they will never find their way they will never find their way .
I mean they'll meet you there . Occasionally . It's kind of like you wake up in the middle of the night like two brothers and then , like you know , you might stumble or punch each other at the fridge like oh , you're hungry too , oh , I'm hungry too .
You're saying it's a random thing .
Yeah , it may not be a completely random thing , but I'm saying , saying it's a random thing .
It may not be a completely random thing , but I'm saying that it's an unlikely it's an unlikely occurrence , I think maybe that's the way it is , that's how it's supposed to be , because you and every single person got here in a different path .
Me and you can always , forever see eye to eye on one thing , and we can always meet in that place on one specific subject , but we don't have that on every single subject . Yeah , and I think that's what it is , because life is moment to moment , and education and learning and development it's also moment to moment , yeah , so I think this is a natural thing .
You know you might be suffering from something that I'm not suffering .
Yeah , and it might take you a little bit longer to find your way back . You know what I mean , and vice versa .
Yeah , yeah , these nuts , huh , gotti , exactly . Yeah , I just had to do it , so I think that amnesia , or meeting at the fridge .
I think that's it , you know .
No , but like that , that to me makes sense . If , if it's like again , if you have one person that knows , for example , and one person doesn't know , you guys might get in the same wave , wave , wavelength from time to time .
But if you want it to be like a calculated and recurring effort um yeah , like like effort or uh occurrence then I think very particular steps need to be taken to uh , to get there and mean again it is possible .
I think the difference is the subconscious versus conscious efforts , and I think that a lot of things at least let's just say bring back Harris into the example that a lot of stuff that's being maybe planted right now is on a subconscious level , yeah Right . For it to be sprouting a little bit later after we water it , right yeah .
Versus having a conscious effort versus conscious effort . You know what I mean ? It's completely different , I think .
Uh yeah and I think that , like the , like a person who truly knows they understand this and they understand the timelines better , and they , um , they like , um , yeah , like they , they have , they if , if , if you know you can do what you can manipulate and do things in whatever way you pretty much want you know , like if you actually know , but if , if a
part of you doesn't know something , you'll always have a hard time fitting in that like that piece perfectly for it to work on that kind of way because you're going to be missing something and you're doing something wrong .
But it's difficult to , it's difficult for yourself to see that , unless you like again , like you raise awareness to like an identifiable struggle and then you start to like a question it or like a think about it . In that way , yeah , I mean yeah .
Harris , are you in good hands ? I am .
Don't say trust .
Trust dad , dad is a bag , daddy it is why do you feel like you're in good hands ?
I'm still here , ain't I ?
what does that have to do with any being in good hands ? I'm just staying . You know you are still here . Is that a result of what you're doing or what we're doing ? What you're doing Really , yeah , so so far , you're putting it on us . Yeah , okay , we would like for it to be on you Well obviously .
I feel , I've come a long way from where I started , at least Okay .
Yeah , we're not chopping your finger off , that's for sure .
I'm not talking about jumping out of a plane anymore that's another thing too , what he just said .
You have to take the person's word for it . If they say , yo , I want to put my thing in the fire , you have to respect that that's a big part .
I'm not talking about jumping out of a plane anymore , that's right you're not joining the Ukrainian military . Fuck you man . Yeah , yeah , you know You're not joining the Ukrainian military Fuck you man , yeah , yeah , you know , but yeah , some things have changed . Yeah , some things have changed . Yeah , I didn't even think of it , like think of those recently .
Yeah , If you start reflecting on it like holy shit , right , yeah , there's a lot of changes that's happened in a very short period of time and I think that , to a degree right , maybe we are oppressing you with some of these changes , because we are very strong about our belief systems .
Elderism .
Elderism . Did you ever picture , like ever , that you would be sitting right now with a microphone in front of your face , with headphones and a blue dildo to your right ?
What is wrong ?
with you .
You mean the bottle opener . Yeah , the dildo in your hand right now . It's a bottle opener . But yeah , no , Now you're holding . This is a dick-shaped bottle opener Eldar bought back from Greece .
Why are you touching the tip ?
What is wrong with you as a souvenir ?
As a souvenir . Yeah , and somebody chewed it . We're not going to say any names who chewed it . Okay , pan wins , oh my god , but somebody did chew on it . You know , especially the head .
What is wrong with you , man Nothing . Eldar's a sick Chewie-weua over here . Yes , yes , and brings back a souvenir that everyone passes around . Oh shit , yes , but yeah .
When you were saying totally that the person who knows right foresees the stuff . So are you saying that you acting like you know right your actions , by the way you are , act like you know , but are you saying that you actually don't know ?
Well , the act of the act , like the complete act of knowing , is actually being able to do that , like the actual complete act of knowing . Um is actually being able to do that , like the actual complete act of knowing . You know , right ? So , um , any anything I think like below . It is like you know some stuff , but maybe not like nearly all of it .
You know , you could still know , I think , some , some , some , some things on that subject or stuff like that . But to actually know is to be able to manipulate reality .
Is that possible , even to know ?
No though , um yeah , I guess to a certain extent . Yeah , I think to uh like , if you can manipulate reality in the way , in that kind of way , I think that's a display of knowing . But , um , I think for it to continue , it's like a like , I don't think it's just like you know and then it just like stops there .
I think that you need to , you need continued education on that thing and continued like challenges to upkeep that um , but I think if you do continue it , I do think that you can operate from like a uh like a point of knowing on those subjects .
Knowing wouldn't be like a complete knowing right .
Well , I think it's moment to moment . That's why I'm saying that it's not like you just know and that's it . If you stop here , you're never doing anything else . You forever are in that state of no , of knowing .
You may hit points where you realize that you don't know , or , like you , you like it like it's proven that you actually don't know , and then you have to educate yourself to get to a point of no . But I think that you can maintain certain things on on that , like uh .
But I think that you can maintain certain things on on that , like uh , knowing like a sphere , if , if you but why do we appoint ourselves as we know , before we actually well might know ? Well , yeah , appointing yourself , as you know , without actually knowing is is not known .
I'm sorry , yeah , but why ? Why does that happen ? Because we , because you don't know . Because you don't know , but you act like you know .
Yeah , that's part of not knowing .
But then what about Big Sock ?
He said knowing , knowing is wrong .
Seriously , man Huh Sock said knowing , knowing is wrong .
Yeah .
How does that so ? How would that like ?
pertain here . Well , in this example , right , the way you're communicating with harris , right , you know what you're doing or you don't know what you're doing I clearly don't know what I'm doing . You clearly don't know , but in the moments when you do , you know what you're doing or no .
I think I know what I'm doing .
You think you know what you're doing , but you might be under the impression that he knows yeah , so he does it . But , however , when you start reflecting on it , you're like wait , did I get what I wanted ? No , I didn't Right . Am I happy ? No , I'm not . That is your bar and that's your scale . Wait , I thought I knew I wanted this and I didn't get it .
What happened ? You know what I mean . So that's when you can apply that I knowingly didn't know , because in the moment when he was doing what he was doing , he knowingly thought that it was right . Yeah sure in the moment . In the moment but when he reflected on it , he's like no , I clearly don't . He's saying that right now .
Yeah , so then can you ever ?
I guess you can never say you actually know , right , like he's like socks , that no , you can . You can when , when what ?
when what you , when like what you think yeah , what you think actually is yeah . When you think act and you get the result all match up and it's all correct and you get the right result and you feel good and it is true , the truth , then you know . You know in that moment , but in that moment .
yeah , it's always moment to moment , yeah and again , like .
you can get many of those moments in a row , but you can also like . That's why the continued learning and the continued education is important , so that you can continue to evolve your skills and abilities and your like understandings .
So that you continue to sharpen your skills and abilities and your understandings , so that you continue to sharpen your tools , you can get more of those moments of you proving that you know , versus more moments of thinking that you know and then proving that you actually don't .
Like we've been doing throughout the week with Harris right a lot of times he goes arrogantly into like this is yeah , you know what I mean , like this is it . Yeah , you know what I mean . I'm like , okay , show us what . This is it you know ? And he goes to show that he doesn't actually know what the fuck he's talking about . Oh , fuck you , yeah .
And next thing you know , he has like I was wrong as he puts his hands up , and I was being like a little bitch , yeah , well , what do you ? mean bitch like oh , first he was very strong about it , adamant about it . You know , he's his big Doing the walk away , the walk away . And then he starts running away like okay .
We're running away . Whoa , whoa , whoa , I know . Yes , you are , I Put money . I ain't no puss . Yes , you are , I put money where my mouth is you usually fucking lose , yeah , but I do win , sometimes Very rarely .
Oh , fuck you , bro . You're going to have to lose for the next 10 years in order to get it through your head To get humbled . That's the journey you're on . You know what I'm saying .
Yeah .
And my financial advisor does sometimes be like yo don't make a bet , but other times he's quiet over there .
I can't always protect you son .
Yes , he did this , son . Yeah , you saw that .
If I teach a man to fish , he eats forever . If he fishes a man , then he eats once . Yeah , you saw that . If I teach a man to fish , he eats forever . If he fishes a man , then he eats once . Yes , what .
You never heard of this thing . No , if you teach a man how to fish , he eats for a lifetime . If you give him a fish , he only eats once .
You never heard this one . I thought you just said if he fishes a man .
Yeah , he was trying to fuck you up , trying to see if you're still with us .
Do you understand what we said I do ? That's what we're trying to do . We're trying to teach you how to fish , harris . What did you learn about communication , man ? That it takes time and patience , man what give me some more intricate details about communicating style , or communicating and how to do it properly ?
You feel some type of way . Another person might not feel the same way as you . Okay Right , take my example . Okay Right , I was so excited to give my mom her picture . Yes , I did not receive the same excitement and it kind of ticked me off . Thank you , which totally felt the same way towards his teachings . As we put , it .
But I don't view that as like poor communication , like that's like having an attachment to something .
That's a poor interpretation . Yeah , it's a poor interpretation , Sure , but nonetheless it's communicating right . Like I said , it is a level of communicating ?
sure , yeah , but I think it's more has to do more has to do with the attachment to the situation like oh , I think attachment is the culprit of any communicating style . Yeah , he would have gotten the exact reaction he wanted if he gave his mom like half an ounce hold up .
hold up out that he has said several times on this podcast that he attaches himself too much , so it all the communication does come down to attachment .
No , I think that the culprit here is the attachment , which ?
episode and which minute ?
Do you not remember several times when he compared him teaching me to teaching Philip , as he attaches himself his tendency to attach himself ? Did he say that Probably . Yes , I do not recall . Probably yes . Now I have to go through the podcast . Do you want to put money on it , Toli .
That you'll find it within the next one . How long do you have ?
to find it , but hold up .
Did you or did ?
you not say it , You're not a good finder dude , I didn't say it , you're not a good finder . Am I allowed assistance ?
No , yes . Although I says yes , I'm okay , with your assistance , because you need it Overruled .
Yes , Two to one . You want to go on this bet no .
You said , you did not say it , I didn't , and I would make a bet with you for you to find it or not find it why shouldn't I have the assistance if you claim you never said it ?
that's a very good question .
The bet is between me and you , okay , but if I have advisors come on board , you claim you never said it , but if they come on board , whether I said it or not , I'm betting on you having no chance of finding it and forgetting about it , but you claimed .
You said I did not say it , you gotta understand that he might even know that he's wrong , but he has confidence that you have no abilities to find it , which I agree with him .
They'll all take the bet as well .
I'll probably be riding with him , man . I'll take the bet as well . I'll probably be riding with him , man . I was here . I know that I got to go back to one of the first few episodes .
You were having the ability , like technology Are you kidding me ?
Yeah , like attention span . What do you mean ?
What ? What do you mean ? I got no chance , you got no chance . Why do you say it like that ?
You know what , Harris ?
I'm going to go against you just to make for you to make more money , because I think this is a beneficial activity for you to do . I know it's one of the first few episodes .
This would be equivalent to finding a needle in a haystack .
This would be equivalent to like me saying hey , I'm gonna go pee somewhere in the passaic river and you're gonna tell me where I peed . I got a hundred dollars on it how much you got how long do you have to find it ?
Yeah , I give a week bro , A week I just said it too A week .
I don't care , bro , a week .
All right , I got 50 on it , mike .
Tom Walters talked for 50 bucks .
Yeah , bro , oh , that's a good advice .
Oh , let's talk for 50 bucks .
He for $50 ?
He was talking so much . Yeah , I agree with that man , you better raise that up a little bit . Well , if I put $100 , on it . I can't put $100 . Alright , I'm lowering mine to $150 .
Mike .
Oh , you're going $150 ? Yeah . Yeah he's being a little bitch now . $200 ? Yeah , 100% . What ? 100% , take it and no assistance , or , yes , assistance , like I said , no assistance .
I mean , he's going to do it himself . He's going to have to dig himself . Yeah , no assistance .
Okay .
And what happens by Liz ? You owe the same money back 200 ?
Yeah .
That's right Say you're disabled Totally . What's ? The odds Say immensely . A little bit .
You got a week dude you got a week to dig this fucking gold .
Give me the odds . Huh , give me the odds . I don't know how many podcasts have I done .
Dude , it's a lot of podcasts to go through . Dude , it's a lot of digging .
How many podcasts ? I'd say 10 . You think 10 ?
But it's hours worth of material .
But it's every Friday . I've been here for four months , it's more than that .
So four months equals 16 . A little bit less .
And some of them are three plus hours .
Yes , it's not like you , just skim through it . You have to listen to it .
I would say that , even if he knew , even if we told him which podcast I was on , the odds of him remembering to do this to begin with is already like , it's already bad , yeah , yeah .
Wait , you know what podcast is on .
I could know which second it's . On anything , you're not going to find it anyway .
So why did he immediately ? Say I never said that , well , because he knows that you're .
You know you can't back it up . Are you having ?
the Alzheimer's no . Alzheimer's what podcast is it on ? What .
It's on episode fuck you .
We talk after this , nope .
Now or never . You have five seconds , Five , four , three , two , one zero . Bet's over .
Wow , $200200 on the line . Wow , and I was on your side . Yeah , but I'm already yeah , I fucking .
I'm already down $800 on a stripper you're too busy , harris .
Yeah , well , that's true too that's true too .
All right , it's good . Yeah , I got .
I do have other stuff to do , bro . I do . How about this ? I do have other obligations . I have bro . How about this ? I do have other obligations , I have $5 .
The fact that you don't remember what the bet is about Of course I do .
Okay , go ahead , $5 on it . $5 ? Of course I do , and you have 30 seconds to say it .
Yeah , 30 , 29 , 28 , 27 , 26 , 25 , 24 , 23 , 22 , 21 , 29 , 28 , 26 , 25 , 24 23 , 22 , 21 , 20 .
You're putting the pressure on me .
15 14 13 , 12 , 11 , 10 , 9 8 , 7 , 5 4 3 , hold up three .
Hold up , bro , god damn it .
Two , one , you lose .
Send me five bucks . Huh , send me five bucks .
Yo , that's not fair , dude . Fine , I'm going to give you a ten seconds of silence . Fuck , now you got my mind fucked up , bro . How about Phil ? Oh , it's about Phil , phil , phil , phil , phil , phil , that's it 10 seconds is up again , Fuck bro .
He doesn't even remember what the bet is about .
Bro , we were going on and on and on . All right , sorry , Dude you kidding me .
You get what I'm saying . Done , we gave up . Yes , do you understand , done , we gave up . We were doing the UFC thing . We listed like 50 people in the UFC and we asked him to list five and he could use the ones that we said and he couldn't give them . Do you understand ?
Yeah .
Oh , it's about the emotions . It's about the emotions . Fuck you what . What was the bet about ?
I know what it was about . It's just on the . It's been a long day , so what's the bet about ? It's been a fucking long day .
You don't know what the bet was .
He was totally comparing you to Phil . Oh yeah , he was comparing me to Phil . Damn , he really doesn't remember , are you ?
kidding me . He was totally comparing you to Phil .
Oh yeah , he was comparing me to Phil . Damn , he really doesn't remember . Are you kidding me ? I tell him the prank in my tongue you were comparing me to Phil . Name two female .
UFC fighters .
Name two females that are not your mom . Your mom . No somebody that you don't know , that's outside of this room , like this inner circle .
What do you mean ? Someone I don't know that's outside of this room , in this inner circle ? What do you mean ? Someone I don't know , then , how the fuck can I list their name , dude ? You don't know what the bet was . Are you kidding me ? I remember what the bet was what was it ? Are you kidding me ? It's when you invest too much of your time .
Blah , blah , blah . I bet it's on the brink of my mind . It's when you invest so much time and you're let down when I'm describing it , man .
If you wanted him to find it on the episode of the week , you could give him a year .
Bro , it's been a long fucking day . Give him a year . It's been a long fucking day , man .
I would say that you could tell him the episode and the time exact that it was set , and he won't be able to find it .
Bro , if you don't know what the bet is about , you're not finding anything .
bro , Do you understand how crazy it is ?
It's been a long fucking day , man . I've been filling my head with fucking knowledge for the past , fucking three hours man With knowledge . I like fucking three hours .
man With knowledge .
I like it . Remember the bet . Yeah , I like it . Listen , you get the pass Okay .
So , um , have you ever gotten a hall pass when you were in a relationship ? What you never heard of the hall pass ? No , really , no , really . Yeah , it's like a one-time pass to do whatever the fuck you want for one night .
Like even fuck Is a whole pass . Let me ask you this question If you get a whole pass , I think I understand what you're saying . If you get a whole pass , is it a confirmation that you're not happy in your relationship .
No , it's more like your friends and you or your friends buy a ticket , like me and my friends , my work friends , right , I was in a relationship , my work friends Like us , yeah , okay , they bought a ticket to some crazy fucking shit . It was like to Denver . It was to a big thing , a big festival , all right .
And I was like yo , I don't want to go because it was party central . Right , it was get high drink diddy , not diddy . All right , you're going there . You know it's kind of hipster things , okay , yeah , but it was crazy and you know we had flight benefits . You know , my buddy , my buddy was like yo , let's just go fucking do it .
I got the fucking tickets , let's have fun . Mm-hmm , it was in Denver , it was crazy shit . It was like a music festival type thing , but it wasn't like high class , like ultra ADM shit , mm-hmm , it was like low level guys moving up . Mm-hmm , I was like no man . You know it's like I'm going to . I can't just leave my girl like that .
But she gave me the hall pass . I was like you know what happens there . She goes . Yeah , you got a hall pass . 24 hours from the time you land you can do whatever the fuck you want . I said what about you ? She goes , I'm just going to sit at home with my fucking kid . You just do it . But I think it was a fucking test .
This , without a doubt , never happened . Yes , it did . It's a hall pass .
You've never heard of a fucking hall pass .
I'm going to bet $50 , it does not happen . Call her right now . I'm not calling her .
What's her girlfriend's name .
You got 50150 . I'm not putting her on the fucking spot , why not ? But I think I'm just going to state this . I got $150 . I think you got $200 right now , but I'm going to state this I think she might . I'll put an extra $100 on it .
I'm going to state this . I think this is a completely fictional story .
It's not a fictional story . You never heard of a fucking hall pass .
I've heard of it , but this has not happened . It has , but but . But I got $300 on it .
But I'm going to state something . You got $200 . My work friends $500 . No , I'm not calling her bro .
I'm not putting her on the spot like this . Half a grand . What's putting on her spot ? Help him out . I'm not going to do it . What's putting on her spot ?
Wait wait , wait , wait . What's putting on her spot ? Yeah ? She did the favor . This already happened right A long time ago . She's just saying what happened .
There's some things in a relationship you don't fucking talk about .
You just talked about it . What are you talking about ? It's out to the public , world's gonna find out . Yeah , but she doesn't want to fucking know . No one really fucking listens to her .
Mike throw some money on it . Please , Harris , take the money . I'm not doing it , man . As your advisor , you're gonna be like it did happen 500 dollars it did not happen .
Let me say something here . Listen , $600 . I'm not gonna lie . My friends were hinting to me the whole time . We were together , we didn't live together .
You don't have to put her on the spot and be like , hey , can I ask you a question that time when you gave me that cold pass did you really mean it ?
No , he's not going to do it . I'm not putting her on the spot , dude . You know how uncomfortable $700 . $700 .
It did not happen .
It did happen , $800 . Fake news it did not happen , it did happen , it did not happen $800 .
Fake news $800 . You didn't even let me get the finish , bro , $900 . This girl begs him for $20 .
Do you understand ? He could just give her 500 bucks . I'm not doing that $1,000 . I'm not putting her on the spot , bro $1,000 .
It did happen , bro . It did happen bro . It did happen . A thousand dollars , it did happen . I'm not doing it , I'm not putting her on the spot .
Listen , I'll put my money where my mouth is .
This girl is struggling financially . She asked him for twenty dollars .
Yes , I got a thousand dollars on her right now .
She hasn't asked me for money In fucking three months , dude . Come on , man Two months .
That's another lie right there she's been getting child support .
Bitch is paying up . What's the final thoughts on the communication ?
Harris this is unacceptable .
I'm not accepting it . I'm not putting her on the fucking spot .
I have too much respect to her ?
No , I didn't . What do you mean ? Too much respect for her ?
I have too much respect for her , mike , give me a final thoughts , mike .
There's some girls you have so much feelings for that you will never fucking .
But why is this disrespectful Wait ?
what is exactly putting her on the spot ? You don't have to tell her I'm going to podcast with three other guys .
I'm about to hit a thousand dollars .
You know how uncomfortable I felt talking to my fucking brother . Imagine how uncomfortable I feel talking to her and actually put her on the fucking podcast .
Because you don't know how to communicate properly . We don't have to put her on the podcast . We don't have to tell her anybody's here .
You got to understand that as soon as you got on the phone with your brother , we realized that he's a bullshitter . What do you mean ? What do you mean when you told him about the job propositions he told you like ?
yo . I got mad offers out there . But no , I was so uncomfortable talking to my brother , I'm not going to do it with her , like I feel like shit . Even already fucking talking around here . It's time .
It's time to let go of your previous fucking belief systems .
You have to do this To become a fucking man . I'm not doing it , it's never , going to happen . You called your mom out and your fake news it did happen . It's time to either you call her or you admit that you're a liar .
I'm not going to call her , you have to do one or the other you need to let me finish the whole fucking thing , finish it . I didn't go because I didn't want to fucking do it . But I did find out from a friend that they were all telling me like yo , you don't live together . She lived with a roommate who was a guy , I don't know what , I don't know .
My friend was like yo , she lives with another dude . They had to be fucking and this is a sacred relationship . What do you mean ? Who's fucking , who , what ? Do you mean who's fucking who ? Secret relationship what do you mean ? Who's fucking who ? My friend always accused her of banging her roommate .
She was having sex with another guy . No , I don't think she , because she wasn't really the bull from New Jersey . That's why she was given the fucking whole pass in the first place , Of course , bro .
No , I don't think she was fucking him . It was like Guys guys , this never happened . It did happen .
She said it was her roommate , Harris .
You have $1,000 right now , Harris you need to clear this , Otherwise we cannot continue . I'm not getting involved dude .
This never happened . I never called her out . I trusted her fully . I'm sorry . Okay , then you have to admit that you're a liar .
This is a whole complicated story or you have to call her I . You have to admit that you're a liar .
This is a whole complicated story , or you have to call her , I'm not going to call her bro .
This is like the deflection point Either we go our separate ways or we can never go on , because we never trust anything you say ever again .
Shut up bro .
I'm not going to call her .
Then you have to say that you're a liar .
I'm not going to say it , bro , because it's not a lie . She , when she was giving you a whole pass , she was giving you another guy . I was telling you . She said it was her roommate .
She swore nothing was going on . And I trust her . Did you actually in your heart of ?
hearts believe that she did not write his whatever size penis . I mean , I used to have doubts but I fully trusted her . In the end it might have caused the rift , I don't know .
Guys , how about this If you show us text messages and she never asked you for money in the last two months ? Three , he said three months .
Oh , three months she started receiving .
I got a text that what do you mean that just happened last week ?
That's what . I'm saying , within the last two months , easy .
I got a text that she started receiving child support again .
When was the last time she asked you for money ? Yeah , definitely .
Come on , guys , are you kidding ?
me it's like a month ago , Mike communication .
Give me some final thoughts .
I can't continue because of we had such a good podcast and we ended it on a completely fabricated .
It's not a fabricated lie , a complete lie . She was living with another guy . My buddy , mo Maurice , would tell me yo , you're not uncomfortable with this , she's living with another guy . I'm like yo , you're not uncomfortable with this , she's living with another guy . You know all this shit . I'm like yo , I trust her , you know Plus .
Even if she's fucking somebody , so what ?
What do you mean ? So what Just ?
put on the condom . You know what I'm saying . Like keep it clean .
I never wore a condom , bro Her and the other dude . What do you mean ? Keep wasn't .
No , oh , that's why I ? Didn't want to call it . So why is she living with another ?
dude , it was a roommate dude . I had a roommate when I was over there and it was a female .
Was it a female or a ?
gmail . No , it's a female , bro . I was not fucking her , it was a dragon . Are you done , man ? It was a female . She was like 30 , 37 . She used 37 you know , we lived in the hood of Jacksonville yeah , that is unbelievable man .
I can't believe we ended the podcast on a lie . It's not a lie , bro . It's not a lie , it is . I swear on my mama it's not a fucking lie .
He would have called her . So what's the problem with the call and her getting the thousand dollars in your bank account ?
I'm not doing it , bro why , I'm not putting her on the spot , I already had a hard time . I already had a hard time talking to my brother in front of you . We'll stay quiet the whole time you know how I feel about fucking pressure bro no comments inside .
We'll be in the other room our job is to relieve you of these things that you have , these retardations that you have built in .
I hate the fucking pressure it causes , like dude . The whole time I was talking to my brother and have him on speaker , I felt like fucking shit , dude , like .
I was so cautious in talking to him . Yeah , why .
Is it because of us or ?
is it because of him ?
No , it's because I got him on speaker , I'm putting him on fucking blast .
What was his name ? Who speaker ? I'm putting him on fucking blast . What was his name ? Who ? The brother you were talking about , ari , it was David . Would you call David right now and just call him and say hey , and if he picks up , say hey , david , you're a little bitch , hang up and you get $1,000 for that .
Fuck , no , what , he's my older brother bro , you can't disrespect your elders , man , you can call him back right after and say David for doing that . I'm going to give you $250 . Take the night off .
No man . I can't do that I can't do that . David takes things too personally . He's immediately going to hang up and call my fucking mom Like yo , her fucking call me a little bitch , like he fucking tells .
But I received $250 from him right after .
And send your mom $50 . She's tight on money , man .
She wants to smoke some weed , you want me to try and call David ?
No , I'm just asking , you wouldn't do that .
Hold on , call . What's her name ? Chewy . No , I'm not gonna fucking do that .
Call Chewy Because I told you , elder , I can spot these kind of things from a mile away .
It's not a a lie dude , it is a lie well , I caught him before I was in some , some of them on the boxes yeah on the boxes .
That was just like a couple days ago . That never happened . Why are you ?
calling me . I'm gonna call me a little bit we're not giving you money for it . Yeah what the bro he was just asking I was asking you a question ?
what ?
the you wouldn't do it .
You said you wouldn't disrespect him , man .
You gotta take the cash out .
But no , in all seriousness , I love that girl with all my heart , even talking about it . It's off limits guys .
I know .
I love that girl with all my heart , even though you know what Harris Based on how you're feeling right now , I would like to send her $20 .
What is wrong with you ? With all my heart ? Okay , even though you still love her . You know what , harris ? Based on how you're feeling right now , I would like to send her $20 . What is ?
wrong with you ? What do you mean ? What am I going to say ? Oh , this is from .
No , no , no , this is from you . I don't want to be involved . I don't want naked pictures or anything . I'd going to send you $20 and you send her $20 and don't say a word For what . I just want to send it , but don't mention me , it's all on you . For what ? I want to be the ghost here . Silent investor . Silent investor . Send her $20 . Just send it .
I'll send it to you . You know what I'm saying .
You guys think it's already ridiculous . I'm sending her money . No , but I want to send her money now . Yeah , but why do you guys think it's ridiculous that I'm sending her money ?
Well , we think that's ridiculous , but I want to send her money now . Have you never ? Because of what you feel for her ? You know what I'm saying ? I want to invest in that .
Like , like , I want to invest in that , like I've dated people after her , yeah , but in my opinion . What , what are you talking ?
about . The world wants to know . They don't want to be confused . It was a fucking chick . Okay , good , so same sex .
What kind of low or chicky-toe , what kind ?
of instrument does she have ? What kind of instrument does she ?
have down low . She's got a pussy man . She you have down low .
She's got a pussy . Man she's got a pussy , Okay cool . But I've dated other girls , but I don't know , I felt something different with my ex .
Okay , I think she's worth more than 20 bucks so far .
I've never experienced it again . Okay , have you ever experienced Hold up ?
To totally man ?
Yes , Because I've never , seen totally with a girl , or anything else have you ever ? Experienced true love ? No , seriously .
Neither have you , man yes .
I have , you think you have . What is that supposed to mean ? What is that ? Supposed to mean . What is that supposed to mean ? You think I have , I think I have , I don't know what else it means .
I think he's challenging your understanding of love . What do you mean ? Well , a lot of people say I love you , I love you , I love you , and the next thing you know they're in court . They have fucking divorce .
Well , I'm kind of feeling like the sex was just oh , whoa , whoa , whoa .
Okay , so let's talk about that . The sex was good , but is it love ? She was able to fucking jerk your chihuahua when you felt good about it , no just .
Everything that you said about the situation leads me to believe that there's no way that it was love ?
No , but he felt a certain way when we broke up .
I got broken up with other people . I had mutual breakups , but this breakup it hit hard a certain way .
So what To the point where .
True love , the fucking chest hurt . You know what I'm saying . Yeah , yeah , yeah . I don't know if you ever had a breakup like that , where it just fucking hurt . I wish I could relate to you , harris , but you can't , like I didn't date for years .
This is like that scenario . Do you remember in that movie , what is wrong with ?
you . Why does everything . Got to be a fucking movie bro .
With Will Smith , where he's like the love guru .
What is wrong with you ? Oh , shut the fuck up man . Yeah , but you know what I'm talking about . Yeah , right you ?
remember he meets that like really rich guy in the cafe and he's like yes , girl , I can't get my mind off her like , yeah , you know , and he's just kind of like you know , sitting there listening to everything he's saying all these good things , like she took my breath away , you know , yeah , and I just can't really move on until I have sex why does
everything gotta be a fucking movie ? Yeah , talks about this why no ?
why does everything gotta be a movie ?
man , this's relatable man it's not relatable it is , he said .
The reason why you're having these feelings in the first place is because of movies , because you're a wiener , you just want to chewy her .
That's it . What is that ?
supposed to mean bro never , experienced love man neither have you , man , I feel like I have , bro . When we broke up it was like my , you know you have . Take a shit . What the fuck ? No , bro , I had to walk away from the situation .
I have plenty of evidence to support that this was not true love Like what Really ?
Go ahead Like what .
Really , I like to say , really We'll have to both talk about what true love really means , yeah , what true love really yeah what true love mean , man oh shit . That's all you never experienced if you never experienced it . You can't fucking say what it means bro about our next fucking podcast I can just tell you how it wasn't true love .
If you want , oh okay , go ahead . Well , first off , you , you , you , uh held in a shit for two weeks , oh my while being with her , which doesn't sound very loving . That's just one , and I'll give you just one more quickly . I have plenty of more , but just one .
That was we just put this on blast on the podcast .
Man quickly said we have to .
We're honest here , man .
We have to help the people if you're in love with a person and you're going to a music festival with just no name and you ask the person you love for a hall pass .
I didn't ask . She said I could have it . She supposedly felt bad that I wasn't going to go with my friends . I never went .
Where this is even a thing there is absolutely zero love . I thought about it but I never went .
She felt bad that I couldn't go with a friend . She said , go , you get a hall pass . And I never went .
Did she give by any chance ? Did she give you a hall pass because she knew you're a loser ? You're not going to do anything about it .
What the fuck are you trying to say and what you thought she ? She just wanted to make me feel that's right .
What's wrong with you ? I'm asking a question .
Then that would be true love .
yeah , you guys are fucking assholes man .
I think we are dude . But , something tells me that we actually have your best interest at heart . You know what the crazy , but you just haven't leveled up yet you know what the crazy part is . Yeah .
We were only up together . Oh , like an Indian wedding .
No Wait , how many times did you see her ? What do you mean ?
How many times did you ?
see her physically .
What do you mean physically , like right there ?
How many times was she in front of you ?
Every day .
Not on the computer screen Every day dude , I was a lead at the airport for APH oh you were her bro , she worked under me , and how long were you guys together for ? We were together for almost a year almost a year and we were set up by a fellow employee . They're like oh , you two are single , just barking . Yeah , just trying it out . Yeah , wow .
And we ended up fucking the first night .
Oh , true love , In that case that's . And then you end up not shitting for two weeks , true love .
It wasn't right after , bro . It was like you know . Her and her son stayed over for about two weeks and , yeah , I held my shit in .
What would her and her son do if they came in on the last day ?
He'd take a shit .
Motherfucker be gone . Yeah , fucking stink like a motherfucker . Just all be coming out , bro . You know you got to take some things to start some movement .
You know what that is , bro , when the gutter is like stuck and then they unstuck the gutter .
I had to take a little something to get the thing going man .
Yeah , of course you still look like a fucking upside down pair , bro , fuck you , bro , another two weeks , can you imagine , without going to the bathroom ?
That's crazy , bro , that's not love man .
That's not the . You know the ? We should search it up . Guinness I might be eligible for Guinness World Record . You might be eligible for that , man , I'm not happy that you're proud of it . How do you prove it ? You go to the doctor and see how fucked up your system is .
No , alright , guys , you guys are a bunch of assholes really you coming back on Monday or no ? Yeah , I am lovable assholes lovable assholes .
I Lovable assholes , I like that .
That's a good name for the podcast Lovable assholes is the contradiction .
And I'm going to take Tully to a wonderful place with JC . It's going to be wonderful , good Please .
I think he needs to . You guys have to bond over something like that , yeah so we're going to bond , yes , please .
Don't worry about it , you guys are going to get all milk together , yeah .
No one's talking about bondages . You sick fuck . Are they going to milk you guys at the same time ? Don't worry , I'll come pick you up , it's going to be wonderful , come pick you up .
What's ?
wrong with you ?
I'm going to come and pick you up ? What is wrong with you ?
You got a sick fucking mind you . I'm asking you a question . I'm going to drive to his house .
No , what did you say before ?
I'm going to come . What's wrong with you ?
You said that it wasn't a yes , it's like come , I'm going to go over there and pick you
up , you're sick fucks how much have you had to drink tonight ?
I did have some good tequila . I'm not going to say the name of it because everybody's going to unless they pay a lot of money .
Well , I mean everyone , bro , you're just Boost the Brand . They can't do it unless they sponsor , right ? What are you crazy ?
You understand what we're doing here , or no ?
Yeah , I understand .
Good the fuck . They gotta pay me a million dollars per episode for me to fucking even say a word . A million dollars , wow .
Do you think this is worth ?
man .
Just by sitting here , we're burning tens of thousands of hours per hour . What do you mean Like ?
if you take our collective time , that we're worth . I'm so confused . Don't worry about it , okay .
Well , so yeah , what was the bet that we were talking about before you ?
turned down For $200 . Oh yeah , there's no chance of getting that . What is the bet that you were talking about before you turned down For $200 . Oh yeah , there's no chance of getting that . What is the bet that you got for $1,000 ?
Put my ex on the spot To do what ? But ?
what .
I can't believe that it's considered putting her on the spot . Of course it is , of course it's putting her on the spot .
He loves her . I would say he doesn't give her the full $1,000 and that would help her so much .
That's probably like six months of rent . She wouldn't give a fuck . No , of course not . She wouldn't give a fuck . She wouldn't care yeah .
If you were to ask her hey , this was a situation , I didn't do it , but I could have gotten $1,000 for you She'd be furious , yes , If he did tell her afterwards .
But I'm not going to put her on the spot , bro , it doesn't matter how much money . Okay , this is a woman . That's love , man .
I also call BS on that . This is a what Like with a woman . Well , no .
You fucking asshole . No , I didn't say that . I'm saying with enough money . No , Tully doesn't think it's fucking love .
Well , I think Tully has reasons why he's saying that let's find out what those are .
Let's not On the next episode .
Tully has said what is true love ? Tully has never said . Tully has said he's never experienced love . So how do you know what love is ? Man , Did you ?
So how are ?
you basing it off a movie man .
Harris , yeah , I saw in a movie Curly Sue and Donald Duck . You know they don't love each other .
Harris , I have one question for you why you read this book . Yes , did you ever read what's on the back of this book ? Oh my God .
Do you guys ?
know what's in the back of this book ? No , harris , do you know what's in the back here ? I ?
read it once , but I don't remember what it was . Yeah , I read this already . No chance At any point . We are one question away from a different life . I read this before . I even started .
You didn't remember it .
Guys , hit me with some final thoughts . Mike , give me something .
Tully's an ass man , you already said that . Yeah , because you can't say it wasn't true . Love man , you don't know what that is . Next podcast is going to be interesting bro , true love . How do you know what the fuck true love is ? Harris ?
before we do the podcast on true love , I'm going to give you a warning . A lot of times , when we talk about very specific topics , we actually kill them . What do you mean ? Are you ready to kill true love for yourself ? What do you mean ? True love ? What do you mean ? Are you ready ?
to kill true love for yourself . What do you mean , true love ? I thought you had everyone believe in true love , man .
Listen , I do and I am . However , my definition of true love is very specific . What do you ? Mean . How I define true love might be very different from how I totally define it .
So how would it kill my ?
point of view of true love . That's what I'm saying that if you hear my understanding of true love , you might abandon yours and I'm worried about that .
What are you talking about , bro ? Everyone can have their own opinions on true love they can .
But whether or not it's true is a different story . Reason to wear true right .
We're using the word true right . You didn't say , based on my understanding and my opinion , that I was in love .
You didn't say that , I didn't .
I asked him has he ever been in true love ?
Like have you ever been in love with a person ?
With an assumption that you were Dude . The way I felt when when she rode your dick was really good . You just said it was about the sex . It was partly about the sex ?
How many percent ? 90-10? , 80-20? , 70-30 ?
Half . There's something about the way she rode your dick . No , she didn't ride shit , I did all the work , bro , alright . There's something about the way she rolled you down ? No , she didn't ride shit , I did all the work , bro . Okay , fine , all right . But the way I felt about her , and when it ended , the explosion . No . I was just fucking .
You were drained like a lizard . No , I was upset .
I felt like my heart was fucking broken . After the chihuahua what is wrong with you ? You know what man Fuck you .
Fine , he's still emotional about it all there . Yeah , yeah , he's like he's the only kid . Your heart is still broken . Yeah , no , we shouldn't do this topic next week why he's not ready for it .
He's not ready for it . He's not ready to let go . No , okay , there could still be a future between me and him .
If he did quit the vape in two weeks he was incomplete like finished . If he finds the answer to this , for six months he's going to come here and not do anything . We don't want that , Unless he wants that .
There still could be a history there , man Huh .
There could be a history there , man huh , there could be still history . He's saying there . Well , history in the future , of course there could be a future here still . That's why he doesn't want to burn the bridge . Yeah , with the hall pass . Yeah , harris , true love , not yet .
I think the hall pass was just her feeling bad that I wasn't going .
No , I don't think no , I think it was her feeling bad that she's pop-offing somebody else .
Oh shit , yeah , you believe that too , huh .
You know , I was once like a slug , like you , so I know how these things work . I'm not saying I'm not longer a slug , but I know and I've been in your shoes , or you've been in my shoes , you believe that too , that she was power .
Harris , it's difficult for me to to put my chips on the fact that she has some kind of morals and ethics , based on some of the scenarios that you've described .
Based on the limited knowledge we have of her from you , I might be wrong , she's not . Mother Teresa . I don't think so .
at least I might be wrong my dad has claimed she's just texting me , using me for the money and all this shit . Come on now . Send her 20 bucks from .
You but through me . Yeah , I'll send you the 20 bucks and .
I'll send you the 10 that you lost in the bet . You can send it . That's from me too . What is going on here , man ? Yeah ?
We the best for you . Whether you understand it or not , that's up to you . We'll just leave it at that . So I think we communicated everything . Therefore , these are our final thoughts . Thanks for watching .