#164. Effective Delegation: 3 Steps Every Leader Should Know

A lesson that I keep learning and relearning is how to let go of control and trust people. I struggle there. I struggle there big time. And what I don't trust, I know I try to control. I try to grab on with anxiety to situations. I get calculated in my interactions. I try to control responses. But I know I can't do life alone. I have to learn to delegate. Delegation is a challenge for me. And that is

what we're going to talk about today. Effective Delegation Three steps Every leader should know I'm in a situation, well, a lot of situations where I need to trust. Well, I can trust and open up to people or I can try to control and there's a consequence to that. They don't flourish, they don't feel trusted, and the relationship doesn't grow. So it's trusting people on my team, trusting people that do contract work, trusting my accountant and bookkeeper and attorney,

trusting my friends and my family. It goes on and on. So welcome to the Decide youe Legacy podcast. Today's episode is three steps every leader must know for effective delegation. By the end of this episode, you are going to be inspired to see that you can have a lot of freedom by learning to trust, that it's going to benefit you much more than cost you, that the results, even if you delegate poorly, are going to be better than not delegating at all. And that you can do some things, take

action to delegate and get better at this skill. And it is a skill. I'm sharing this today because I am struggling greatly with delegating and letting go. So I have the hope that this podcast will help me to refine my process and to be reminded of the importance of delegation. You have to do that to grow a team. You can't go through life alone.

When I realize that delegation is not going to kill me, that the consequences are not going to be so dramatic, that it's going to derail my business or my life or my health, then I'm more willing to actually delegate. It's not going to have huge consequences and I can do it incrementally with little things and go to bigger things. That's what good leaders do. A lot of times they test not in a bad way. It's just seeing if someone

follows through. They're going to see if they can trust them with more things and more things. And that's how you can grow in your career, by being trustworthy consistently at a very high level. Consistency is key. Consistency in your integrity in your behaviors and your follow through and your communication, you can work on that. And I'm going to challenge you to work on that

today. So I like to challenge everybody to face their fears. And. And I want to share one fear that I faced recently as I went to a 50th birthday party for a bunch of friends in Portland. Hadn't seen many of them in 10 years. Had a great time, but I was afraid. I didn't necessarily want to do it. My inner roommate was talking me out of it. I trusted my gut intuition, followed through on my values of intentionality, relationships,

connection, fun. Made the decision to go. It was a great decision. So I'm Adam Gregg. I'm your host of the Decide youe Legacy podcast. I'm the founder of Decide youe Legacy. I'm also a family Therapist of over 25 years and a legacy coach. Do speaking as well. My purpose in life and the purpose of Decide youe Legacy is to help businesses and people live courageously. You can take action to do so, and

it will help your life tremendously when you do so. I struggle with delegating because I'm afraid that they could fail, that I could be embarrassed, that I make the wrong decision, that I trust somebody. They're not untrust, they're not trustworthy. I am afraid of the negative consequences when I delegate the cleanup, potentially if they don't do it well. And even I get a little bit afraid of all the interaction that needs to go on when I delegate. So I hire a new employee to delegate to them.

And that requires a lot of interaction to get them up to speed. I'm afraid of that at times. I'll mess that up. I'll train them in the wrong way, I'll offend them, they won't like me. I mean, all these things can go through my head in those situations. But again, the benefit far outweighs the cost of not delegating at all. So it triggers a lot of fear in me. And the thing about delegating, too, is it triggers fear because I have

been burned in the past. I have made bad decisions in the past to delegate. I have trusted people, and I've also trusted people that have been extraordinarily great assets in my life. And more people, as I look back, have been trustworthy than untrustworthy. It's just those few that have been extraordinarily untrustworthy can often get magnified in my central nervous system to protect me from getting hurt again. I don't want to live that way.

It's not worth it. So three steps that are essential for a leader to learn how to delegate. Now, number one

is to define what trust looks like. What does it look like specifically? So how would somebody know that you trust them? How would you interact with them differently? How would they behave in a trustworthy way that would tell you that they are being trustworthy. So if you can write that down, things are clear on paper, put it down on paper on purpose and see, like, if you hired this employee, this is what trust would look like. And, and for me, it would look like they're

openly communicating with me. They're willing to share that they're struggling. They're willing to share that they don't know how to do something. They're willing to ask questions, even interrupt me, because they're asking questions. I like being interrupted with good questions from people on my team because I know they're learning and growing, and I know that they're doing something even in that situation that is uncomfortable. I don't always want to be interrupted. I mean, don't

get me wrong. But if they're mustering up the courage to say, I don't know this, can you help me? That's a great thing. Define what trust looks like. Does it mean perfection? Well, hopefully not, because they're not going to be perfect in getting the project done. They're going to make mistakes just like you would. So does that definition require or does it mean that you are lighthearted around them and having fun? I mean, when you trust somebody, you're bantering,

they're talking to you openly about their struggles. They're not looking for perfectionism. They're not trying to be perfect themselves. All those things to me, build trustworthiness. So. And then attention to detail. But admitting when you made a mistake, that's huge. I mean, a trustworthy person is going to say, I messed up here, I dropped the ball. I was wrong. No excuses. Admirable quality that I see again and again in people that I build

trust with. Are they willing to own how they have made mistakes in the past? Even to say, look, I did this in the past, but I'm not going to do this now because I learned from it. And I had a situation one time where my daughter pointed out to me that she had addressed a sit. She had addressed a concern with me that didn't help her trust in me. And. And then. And I didn't necessarily recognize how impactful it was, and I did

it again. And it related to trust. In fact, it was continuing to ask the same question again and again, not just Asking her how she had done studying her four finals. It was asking her multiple times. And. And she had shared, dad, hey, well, you know, I don't need to be asked multiple times. I got it taken care of. You can. I appreciate you sharing feedback with me, but I don't necessarily need you to ask me so many times. And then I would go

ahead and do it again. And that would hinder the trust that she would have in me because I would say it multiple times. I had to step back in myself and say I don't need to be a nag. And a nag. One of the ways I think of being a nag is that I'm trying to control someone's behavior in that situation. So I appreciate her sharing that I didn't correct it. Eventually I got the point message

and I started to correct it. Big deal. So define what trust looks like so you can explain to them clearly what success looks like in this relationship. So if it's a project that

they're working on, let's say I was just talking to our graphic designer about developing a bookmark that I give to clients that helps you shift your perspective. And we had to go through numerous iterations. So success as I defined it is that we have a deadline and that you're checking in with me midway through the project and that it's me asking for clarity in those

areas. And then as I've worked with her and gotten to know her as a contractor, we've had good communication and good check in and there's ownership of when we make a mistake, both sides. When I'm too much involved, she has the freedom to say, dude, back off and trust me. But I don't want to just not give her the support she needs in the project because she needs enough information to create and succeed and make a winning pro,

a winning completed project. But we had to define it. So that's what success. If you can define it for people, as I do with clients, any kind of contract, any coaching relationship, let's define specifically what success would look like. If we engage in this and if we can define it clearly, then we can focus on that and it's going to show you how much progress we're making on the journey towards getting that project done or establishing that employee employer relationship

reaching our goals. It's crucial. I recently decided to revamp the whole Decide youe Legacy website. It needed a revamp that requires me to trust and delegate because I can't do the website. I think I can do some things and I'm pretty dangerous, actually. I'll mess it up pretty bad. And I need to trust people who have more expertise in this area than myself. So I hired somebody. He did our website, his company, the company did our web, completed our website in the

past, they're gonna do it again, a great thing. And I have to let go. And it's scary to me. I feel even silly sharing how controlling I can be. And go to the worst case scenario. It's going to bankrupt our business, they're going to mess it up, it's going to look funky, I'm going to have the brands destroyed. I mean, all these things. And if you're hearing and listening to this, if you work for this company that I hired, forgive me because I trust you enough to hire you. And

it's my problem, it's my issue. I am a control freak in recovery and I've made a lot of progress recently, but I got a lot of work to do. That is me. So second essential step to learn how to delegate is that you must provide clarity. And this is a little bit different than defining what trust looks like. The clarity means that you are taking the time to do the hard work that it takes to delegate. Well, because they won't know what to do unless

you ask for what you want. And you spelling out what you want means having a job description or a project description, explaining to them what tools and resources they have, asking from them what they need, asking what questions they have and need answers to. So for this website project, he has to ask me specific questions, some of which I give him that I want

addressed on the website and we talk it through. I have to take the time to step back and send the content over that I want on the website. I have to be able to share with him what ideas I have for the branding, what our niche is, who our target market is. Kind of the same thing, what makes us unique as an organization, what our values are and how I want those things expressed, and then to trust that he does what he does best, which is the creativity. And his team is a team of writers.

I don't claim to be a skilled writer in that regard. Business, professional writing. I'm good in some ways maybe, but I'm not good in some ways. And the problem with me at times is my ego. I don't want to let go. That safety, ego function makes me want to control and protect and protect what I have and what is mine. And that's not healthy and good. And it creates a great deal of stress.

So all this delegation from for you listening, I hope to inspire you to see that at the end of this episode, you're gonna see a path to freedom and actually a path to more success in your business, a path to more success in your relationships. You can do things specifically, that's gonna save your life potentially because you're letting go of things. So I was just talking to somebody today who's a friend and

he's in his 80s and he struggles with some health areas and his spouse struggles as well. And that was the question I had is what can you let go of? Because he admits he's a control freak as well. And he has people trying to help him, but he's not letting them help him. And so the assignment for him in our conversation was what can you do to get some help? You know, And I challenged him too, because he's a good friend.

I mean, it was like, hey, I had permission to push back and saying, you know, my perception of you at times is that when people give you a good idea that is requires getting help from somebody else, that you quickly go on to a new topic. Maybe I'm wrong here, maybe I'm off pace, but. And you have freedom to share with me if I am. But it ended up being a very productive, positive conversation about how to take care of aging family members in a healthy way without burning yourself

out. He wants to get out of his house more. And he went to the

casino with some people in his family and had a great time and was really energized by it. And I'm like, he likes to go to baseball games and sporting events and he can't get out because of his spouse at times. At least that's what he tells himself. But he has all these family members that would like to actually get him out and, and step in and help, but he's not and hasn't by his own self admission, been doing so really crucial thing.

So you provide them clarity, and that can be checking in with them and giving them more clarity, sending an email, asking for an update. And there's a fine line at times between being nagging and controlling and being informative and being healthy in your discussion of the project's progress. Cause you're not gonna be a good leader too if you forget what they have committed to doing because you're paying them to do a certain task.

So one of the big mistakes that I have made over the years in coaching clients, former coaching clients, people that know me, I apologize for this one, is not following up with clients on their commitments, commitments that they have made. Part of that is because I know there may be some pushback as to why they didn't get it done. And they have some shame, potentially. It's not really justifiable shame, but they're ashamed that they didn't get the project done that they committed to.

This is not necessarily contractors, but it can be. If you don't hear from a contractor on an assignment, there's a good chance that they got sidetracked and they're working on it to catch up and they don't really want to check in. I mean, but that may be a good reason to potentially check in. Not to

shame them, but just to have some dialogue. Because maybe it opens up a conversation about how they're not managing their time well and you still believe in them, you still trust them, but you have a good, healthy conversation because they can admit, and they will admit, hopefully, in that situation, that they're not making the progress that they wanted to make. So the third

essential is to let go. This is all about letting go, but to intentionally get to the point where you're making the decision that I've gotten to the place where I can let this thing go and give them a chance and believe in them. And when you let go, you gotta really let go. I mean, like, it's really essential. They feel in you, in your approach, that you're actually saying, I know you can do this. I believe in you potentially even more than you believe

in yourself. I know you can do this. And I'm going to let go of the situation. And I've just talking about this. I have a great deal of areas where I need to let go more and to see what happens, but I need it. I need to make sure I do that. I asked one of the people on my team, a real key staff member today, like, what can I do to better let go? And the employees said they wanted to think about it. And I just got an email from them because I'm in a studio right now saying, hey, I want to talk

to you more about that. I have more thoughts on it and I'm really excited about the conversation because I think it'll help me tremendously because they have very good insight. I need to let go. And so in recently, some ways that I have let go are by spending some money on things that I wouldn't normally spend money on. It's a letting go of my finances. Because you can let go there. You can let go of plans by letting someone else make the plans. And not that you're not sharing your opinion or

anything, but you're trusting that they can do it. Well, it's a good reason to have a travel agent at times to trust them that they can do your agenda. I like that. I don't like overjamming my days. You can let go of your health, not to let go of your health and like not take care of your health, but trust medical advice that people give you. People that have more expertise on your health than

you do. Like your primary care physician or trusting your financial accountant or planner on decisions because you've delegated that to them and then taking their advice on how to make that win and not thinking you have all the answers, which I can at times, trusting your attorney if you have one. Those are all ways to delegate. And then you learn in the process. And so what it means to let go is going to

be. It's on the other side of anxiety. It's sort of close to anxiety, but there's going to be a sense of excitement with it. Like I'm letting go and I know they can do it. This is gonna be big. I may be let down, but I know people don't generally wanna let other people down. I mean, I find that if you delegate, there's people out there, they just wanna win. I mean they wanna let you, they want you to be excited about what they actually get done. Which will be

very surprising to you if you're a control person like me. I mean, very surprising when you see somebody who, they see how you've let go and then they over exceed your expectations and then the business with them grows, the trust with them grows, they get promoted, they, they grow in their position and you see them succeed and that's very exciting. And so a little story here. I

decided that I was going to delegate something to a person recently and it ended up being that they, they did a really good job on the project but. And they did a really good job in the situation. But they came back to me and they were going off and moving town and I knew that it would be a short term project but basically expressed that that it wasn't the healthiest dynamic and just be short and

sweet. I hired my daughter and I said that on another podcast and Emerson, she came to me and she said and she's an adult and everything, but she had never actually worked as an employee of Decide youe Legacy. And I feel like she would be a great employee. I know she'd be a great employee and I think there's great

potential in the future and Everything. But she came to me and she expressed that after I had delegated this stuff and she wasn't supervised by me, but expressed that she was at a place where she wanted more of a dad than a boss. She's going off to school. And I took that kind of hard. I mean, it was like I delegated something I trusted something I fully trusted. It

was kind of. It was a risk and everything. And then it took me a couple days to bounce back out of that and think, and this again, I'm owning this right here. And then to just think, you know, that's really a valid point and that's a mature perspective. And. And as I went into

it, I hadn't thought it through enough. I got overly excited about having her on the team and I didn't think it through enough to go through the process that I would go through in delegating to somebody else because I was so excited. So you can kind of jump in too quick. And I don't think I did jump in too quick. It was spontaneous. I'm really glad because I learned and I believe she learned and I believe my team learned. Our team grew in that whole process. So make a decision.

You know, indecision is a decision. The worst thing you can do is make no decision. The best thing you can do is make the best decision. And the second best thing is to make a decision that doesn't go well. That's better than making no decision at all. So let that sink in. And if you found this content helpful, hit the link to Shatterproof yourself light. 7 small steps to a giant leap. To a giant leap in

your life. Period. It's a 20 minute video, 25 minute video in a worksheet, four page worksheet you fill out as you watch the video. You want to write your answers down. I would encourage you to. Or type them in the fillable PDF. Download that. It's going to help you out and it's going to help you in one area specific to delegation and it's the emotional component. One of the sections is on how to own your emotions because that letting go is an emotional fear thing

that you can actually do. There's an article that's linked that goes on with

this, goes along with this episode as well. And it's on. It's on delegation steps. That article has not been written yet, but by the time it's been, this podcast has been published at least like a month after it's been published, there will be an article on this content. So that's a challenge to myself. I just delegated that to myself as I went through this episode. So nothing's going to make me happier than knowing you took an action based on this content to delegate.

So please share with me in the comments how you have delegated because that's gonna inspire me and take one action. That's you applying something here that you learned in this podcast. Share it with your friends. I wanna delegate to you. Give it a rating and review on Apple or Spotify. Subscribe as well. Share it with other people. That helps it reach more people organically. And that's what we're in the business of doing, helping people live courageously. Delegation is a courageous act.

Trusting is a courageous act. There's no positive change until you decide to change. To decide means you are eliminating other options and your legacy depends on you. Deciding the impact that your life has on others is your legacy. I want to close today the way I always do. Live the life today that you want to be remembered for. Ten years after you're gone. You decide your legacy. Nobody else. I appreciate you greatly and I'll see you next time. RA.