#157: Transform Your Day: Using the Daily Action Worksheet for Mental Health and Growth

Recently, I got an eviction notice pinned to my door of my apartment. I'm serious. I'm not making this up. I paid my rent eventually and it wasn't. I didn't want to pay my rent, but new management company and things got lost in the shuffle. And anyway, if you want to check out that story, listen to the previous episode. But the thing that impressed me about it is I didn't. I didn't hide the fact that I went through this experience. I felt a lot of shame for a couple hours,

a mistake. I've lived there seven and a half years. I've paid my rent every time. But this happened and I was kind of embarrassed. But one of the reasons that I was able to go ahead and talk about it and not get stuck in shame after having this experience, not a big deal, although I didn't want to get kicked out of my freaking home, is, is that I have some practices in place that help me to stay grate.

And that's what we're going to talk about today is a practice called the Daily Action Worksheet that will help you stay grounded in adversity and help you stay focused on the good stuff in your life. So welcome to the Decide youe Legacy podcast. Today's episode is on using the Daily Action Worksheet. Three keys that will help you to make this a habit. And you're going to want to do this. So by the end of this episode, you're going to want to make this a daily habit.

I guarantee it. Because you're going to see so much benefit from engaging in a habit that keeps you focused on the good stuff in your life. Big time progress is made as we channel our energy towards our opportunities. Not the obstacles, the benefits and the gains, not the gap. Okay, so by then you're going to grasp this and understand how to use it. I want to talk about a fear I faced recently because nothing is more important

to your mental health than facing your fears. And nothing is more damaging than playing it safe. I. I had a hard conversation with an employee and it was good and was positive. And I learned. I have had multiple hard conversations recently because I love reminding myself that the quality of my life is directly connected to my willingness to have difficult conversations where I could be rejected, judged, laughed at, cast aside. Cast me aside. Okay, so I've had

some. I want to challenge you to do the same. So I'm your host. My name is Adam Gragg and I've been a family therapist for over 25 years. I'm a Legacy Coach founded Decide youe Legacy in 2012. My purpose in life is to help people and organizations live with courage that connects to your mental health, that connects to having practices in your life like this Daily Action Worksheet. My struggle with this is like everybody's struggle with starting a new habit of gratitude

in your life. It's kind of cliche. It's something your grandma would tell you after she pulls her teeth out. Get it? So. But it's true. And simple stuff is so needed in this world. The simple things are what keep us grounded in this complex world. And you can go to this. And in the hardest times of my life, I could still take hope in the fact that I could grasp onto some good things in my future in the darkest days. And I've had some very dark days. Just ask my buddies. I've had some very dark

days. I've always been able to grasp onto some kind of hope that it could be better in the future. I'm going to give you that hope, some of the hope that I have today. So I asked my team today what makes it difficult to start a new habit of gratitude in your life like this Daily Action worksheet. And everybody on my team is trained to train our new clients and our prospective clients and the businesses we work with on using this worksheet.

This is where we start. We. In fact, if somebody can't do this worksheet consistently for a week, they're not going to get. They're not going to be able to benefit from what we're teaching at Decide youe Legacy with Living With Courage. They're not going to be able to grasp it. Some of the things I heard from my team is the tendency to procrastinate gets in the way because we don't want to start something and then fail ourselves. And we want to live in excuses. We make excuses like we don't

have time. It just takes you. And it will take you just 10 minutes a day, 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the afternoon as you make this a daily practice. People don't want to grasp the truth. So Kelsey on my team, she says she just makes excuses to forget how beneficial it is for her. Come on, Kelsey. You know, so it's going to take some energy. It takes. The pain people experience when starting a gratitude practice is pretty extensive at first because they're

letting go of those worries that give them a sense of safety. I know that pride doesn't make sense for you, but we're used to thinking in a certain way. Keeping it, thinking it will keep us safe. So if I look at all the bad things, I'm going to be prepared for those bad things happening. And so we zero in on those things, on what could go bad and we forget what could go right. We're letting go of a safety blanket by choosing to be grateful. The worksheet.

And you can hit the link right now to Shatterproof Yourself Light. You get access in the bonus section to a video that goes over this worksheet in depth. This is free. Share it with your friends, use it with your family, use it with your team. Watch that video. Download the PDF of the worksheet. You can fill it out on your laptop or your iPad or even your phone and it'll guide you. You fill out one for each week as you go and I'll share with you what's on that briefly so you

can have that in mind. But that's seven. That's Shatterproof Yourself Light. Seven small steps to a giant leap in your mental health. Just hit the link to download it and go through it. And the first part of that worksheet is you list the good stuff that happened yesterday. So what happened good that occurred in my life yesterday. So you think about that in the morning and then what am I excited about during the day ahead? You share some

items. I'm going to go over a Daily Action worksheet that I have completed at the end of this episode, so you get a real example at the end. And I'll also share with you that I wasn't evicted, by the way. So good. I have a place to live and a bed to sleep in. Cool. Great stuff. So I don't want to leave. And the second part of the Daily Action worksheet are, well, the things that are exciting today. And then the third part of that

in the morning is what you're going to focus on today. Your key areas of focus that are going to give you the biggest wins during that day. So you know if you do these three things, you're going to be able to look at the end of the day and say it was a successful day. Write that down. Then at the end of the day, you have this Life Tree. That's the Decide youe Legacy logo. It stands for seven different life areas.

Spiritual, family, health, intellectual, social and fun, career and financial. And you're going to shade one of those leaves in once you have invested 15 minutes of your time in that specific life area of the Life Tree. I do this at 8 o' clock at night. Sometimes I do it at the end, at the beginning of the next day, because I'm not perfect. Make it a seven. We're not talking perfection here. Then after you shade those areas of the life tree,

you're writing down your three biggest wins during the day. What happened that you'd say that was a success? I grew here. I learned some things. Even though it was painful at the time. Emotions aren't facts. I learned and I grew. And then what you believe are going to be your three successes tomorrow, put that down on paper, type it in your phone, type it on the worksheet, the PDF. Do that for seven days in a

row. It's going to impact your life. It's going to show you patterns, areas of your life, of those seven life areas where you may be neglecting things. But first, key for you to actually be able to engage this worksheet is to grasp that it's not about perfection. That's a huge obstacle that we have. We overthink it. We tell ourselves we didn't fill it out right or good enough or we missed a day. And I can't do it now because I missed a day. And it won't be a

complete week. Go back and complete that day, even if it's two days later. Go back. It'll challenge your thinking. You can remember what happened that was good in your life from three days ago. I promise you the inner roommate's gonna tell you you can't, but you can. Psychologically. We know that most people, 99% of people can go back even if you have dementia. That's short term memory. Your long term memory is often much better than your short term memory.

Don't overthink it. Don't make it complicated. This is why it's intimidating people. You see this complicated worksheet? It looks that way, but it's a really beautiful worksheet. Thanks to Lloyd, my guy on the team who does really great worksheets. He's a whiz at that. So I'm very grateful for my team and what they do. It's a great worksheet. Download it, check it out, but be willing to let go of that perfectionism, because perfectionism causes procrastination. I've never seen a

perfectionist who is not also a procrastinator. If I can't do it perfectly, I'm not going to do it at all. Living in the middle is where life is best lived. That is where relationships are formed. That is where spontaneity occurs. You can do so much in 15 minutes, including this daily action worksheet. So the second key to making this a new habit in your life is to be committed to decide. The word decide means so much to me. It's purposefully chosen as a word in the name of

our business. Decide means to relinquish other options. It means to look and say, this is a good thing and those are not the best things for me. Good is the enemy of the best. This Daily Action worksheet is a great thing for you. This means you're giving up the option to quit. So you have situations in your life. You can reflect on where you've made a commitment to a

workout, to a diet, to a relationship, to a new habit, to going to the doctor to get into bed on time, to getting up on time. Reflect on those times when you made those commitments and I can almost guarantee you, you will be empowered. And remember that you can make a commitment even to something like this Daily Action worksheet. You can choose to do things that are good for you and make those a part of your life. And if you reflect on that thinking about how you felt, then it'll energize you to

engage in an activity like this today. It's great to set a goal and then reflect on how you're going to feel when you achieve it. It'll motivate you to go through the exercise and the pain, because pain is the price of freedom to get to that place where you've achieved that goal. This is the same thing. This is an entry point, as I said,

to working with decide your legacy. This worksheet is so foundational. If you can't do this, I don't think coaching will help you because you're not willing to make a commitment to your own investment in yourself. You don't have to do it perfectly. But to grasp the fact that something like this, there's other forms of a gratitude practice. I just like this one because I understand it and I've been teaching it for decades.

It's the one I know. Committing to something that you can follow through for yourself. Because coaching is a process of following through on commitments that you know will benefit you, even if you don't feel like they will benefit you. Challenge clients, challenge prospects, challenge people. When I speak to engage in this type of action. So the

third key, and I'll just share a success story. Actually, somebody that I know and I know very well drug their feet for a long time and had a lot of excuses on why they wouldn't engage in the Daily Action Worksheet. I Already do something like this. I've already made it a practice. But they have made it a practice in various forms throughout their life. But one thing they had not done is committed to doing it consistently every day. They committed to

doing it consistently every day. And they noticed that they were neglecting one part of their life and that was the social and fun area area. They made it an intention, intentional commitment to shading in that social and fun goal area. And they started to block out chunks of time where they spent 15 minutes at the end of the day texting and calling friends and planning things with friends for the weekend. They noticed

the difference that made in their lifestyle and their weekends. They started to get excited about. They started to see that they had good things planned and that anticipatory excitement made the rest of their week more enjoyable. And they ended up shading in that social and fun area of their life tree on their daily action worksheet consistently for the next month. Noticed that it was that it was impacting the other

parts of their life tree. It was making it easier for them to shade in the area of health because they were starting to exercise and go on walks with friends. It made it easier for them to shade in the spiritual area because they were engaging relationships with friends where they were talking about spiritual type things. It made it easier for them to shade in the career area because they were engaging in social and fun activities

which were leading to career opportunities for them. They were more excited about shading in that area as well. That's what happens. That's why this is so foundational for you. So check it out. So the third key to

making the daily action worksheet a part of your life, a lifestyle habit, is to remember that a very key psychological principle that what you put your attention to in your life grows, that you have neural pathways, connections of neurons that form based on what you

focus on the most. Neuroplasticity basically means that you can change those neural pathways through intentional habits of gratitude and focusing on your 7x vision and focusing on your relationships that you have that are so positive and encouraging in your life and, and channeling energy into those things and making sure you invest in areas of your life which are gonna make positive neurons, neural networks, more accessible for you to form. And you can actually see this stuff in

brain scans and imaging. We have high powered imaging that you can access and see stuff start to form. And basically what it is is that your brain channels in to what you're intentionally deciding to focus on. So you read a book, you do A gratitude list. You spend time with your friends sharing what you're grateful for, sharing what you're excited about.

And it's going to start to form new neural pathways which starts to create even this cognitive bias that is positive, where you start recognizing the good stuff in your life and not the bad stuff. You're going to see the bad stuff when you're grateful. You're actually much more prepared to be able to handle the bad stuff in your life because you're accessing resources that you're not able to access when you're anxious in tunnel vision and seeing how to protect yourself

and how to defend yourself. No, gratitude changes that. So what you, that key concept of recognizing that what I focus on grows is going to empower you to channel your focus towards what is good. And it's going to give you energy to realize that I have this power to channel my thinking. There are very few things in your life that you have control over. You don't have 100% control over your health. You have a great deal of influence on

your health. You don't have 100% control over what other people do in your relationships, but you have a great deal of influence over how you approach relationships and your willingness to have courageous conversations. The thing you do have influence over is your actions, which means you do have influence over whether you, whether or not you choose to focus on the positives in your life. By completing the Daily Action Worksheet, you. You don't have 100% control over your thoughts. You have

intrusive thoughts. Things trigger you, like a bearded man who reminds you of some abusive person in your past, or like some situation where somebody approaches you to ask questions, and in your mind you're thinking they're going to reject you or they're trying to sell something to you because you've been sold a lot of things in your life, and they're really just trying to encourage you. That's what happens with

intrusive thoughts. But I will tell you this, the Daily Action worksheet, it makes intrusive thoughts less sticky. You start to get space from them and realize that they're not true much faster because you have a practice like this in your toolbox that you can access every morning, every afternoon, or even during the day, because you want to shade these areas as you go during the day. That's a great

practice as well. So the challenge for me with something like this is, hey, if I don't do it for a full week, my perfectionism comes to play. And I wanted to share. Share my Daily Action worksheet. This is it reality for me. I'm just going to read it because I filled it out this morning. This is a Tuesday. So here, here's my positive, so really great meeting with a client. Potential new client company, business that's really exciting for me. Getting

a payment that I've been waiting for. Going and giving my dog a bath was a real positive thing. He's trained to give me a bath. Meeting with some friends, meeting with the guy that produces my podcast. Yeah, he made this list, Troy. So excitement today. Focusing on growing, focusing on encouraging clients. I had things down there. Recording podcasts, having some organization I can do later today. Those are really positive, exciting things. Getting some exercise after work, eating a good meal,

simple, basic things can go on there. Having a cup of coffee, you know, all these things can make the list. I got a Father's Day card early for my parents. And yes, I did open it already. I always do because I generally know they're gonna give me a gift card and I wanna see what it is. So thanks for the Starbucks gift card. Mom and dad appreciate that. So, and then I put down that on my today's Focus. Well, recording podcast. Great.

And what have I shaded in on the tree areas? The spiritual I've put in the work area which most of you, if you work a job, you're gonna shade that in pretty easily. Intellectual development haven't done anything for health.

I've gotten some social and fun and the wins I'm going to fill out later today. But my wins from yesterday was new work opportunities, a great client, progress on their marriage, getting well, some of the same wins so that it carries into the next day. The wins from yesterday becomes my positives, often become my positives the next day that I reflect on. So I start my day by just copying that and pasting it in the same Daily Action

worksheet. So another opportunity that I had, dealing with the difficult conversation, that was a win. And then my successes yesterday were actually just client progress. Some things with getting more sleep, some summer activities that I have done some planning with, taking my daughter to college in Boston was a win. Getting that planned out and meeting with some family that live in Boston that I rarely see if I've never met them, in fact. But that was a win because I got some put some energy

into that. So it's both personal and professional that go on this Daily Action worksheet as well. So if you've just in reviewing here basically what I want to the Daily Action Worksheet three keys to making this stick as a new habit. So remember, it's not about perfection. That's the first key. The second key is to be committed. You have the ability. Don't talk yourself out of it. Don't listen to that negativity. Third key is is what you focus on grows

remembering. That will empower you. If you found this helpful, check out Shatterproof yourself lights 7 small steps to a giant leap in your mental health There's a worksheet. The bonus section again has this daily action worksheet. In a walkthrough video there's another whiteboard because in the full version I have worksheets and whiteboards that I've used with clients for 25 years. I give you a walkthrough video on that

and some other content to help you understand it to make it stick. So shadowproof yourself light an abbreviated version than the full version you can purchase. Both of those links are going to be in the show notes today as well. So nothing will make my day more exciting and enjoyable than hearing from you on how you've taken action based on this content. Make a commitment to apply something from today and apply it today because 80% of changes is action, only 20% or less is

insight. You gained insight from this content today. There is no positive change until you decide to change. Decide today because your legacy depends on it. To decide means that you're eliminating other options and your legacy is the impact your life has on other people. So by the way, with that eviction,

I went in, I talked to management, got it cleared up. It was probably my fault because I didn't watch how things were coming out of my account anyway. I decided to pay the late fee without any kind of grumbling. But you know what? I was able to channel it towards gratitude quickly and I wasn't evicted and I didn't catastrophize it. So I'm kind of proud of myself as well. So do me a favor. One thing is take action today and then subscribe and follow me

because I want to stay connected with you. I want to close the way I always do. Live today, your life today, the way you want to be remembered 10 years after you're gone. You decide your legacy, nobody else. I appreciate you greatly and I'll see you next time.