SUMMER BONUS: The Season for Entrepreneur-slash-Poets

Is it "unphysical abuse" and a "disservice to his feelings" to name my cat Richard? How do I tell my mother-in-law that my five-year-old doesn't need haute couture? Should I attend the wedding of two people I don't recognize and am not even sure I know? Plus: Is Alyssa telling the truth, can I reset my sweat?