Dr. Lisa Damour is the NYT bestselling author of Untangled , Under Pressure , The Emotional Lives of Teenagers , and the co-host of the Ask Lisa Podcast . On Dear Nina , I focus on adult friendships, but sometimes I touch on teen friendships because teen friend strife is slipping into adult friendships. While it was once expected that teens would experience friendship changes as part of growing up, it now seems making sure teens never feel upset about their social lives is another thing for pare...
Jul 20, 2023•25 min•Season 1Ep. 65
What happens when two longtime, old school bloggers reminisce about the good old days of blogging? You get laughs, reflections, and a deep dive into the intricate dynamics of the blogging community from the early days to today. I'm joined by my friend and star blogger, Jill Smokler , founder of Scary Mommy , as we delve into our shared experiences of the blogging world and the friendships we made online "way back when." We discussed the thrill of the first comment, the pressure to produce daily ...
Jul 13, 2023•39 min•Season 1Ep. 64
Welcome to Dr. Marisa G. Franco ! Conflicts in friendships can feel so daunting, but sometimes we have to tell friends they've let us down rather than distancing ourselves and ignoring calls and texts. (A tactic too many of us use.) Here to help is Dr. Marissa G Franco, author of the instant NYT bestseller, Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends . Dr. Franco will help us learn what to say to friends when there's conflict and how to hear it when friends are ups...
Jul 06, 2023•26 min•Season 1Ep. 63
"Monday is Nan. Tuesday is Maryanne. Wednesday is Leslie. Thursday is Lisa. And Friday is Susan. It was an act of love, an act of friendship. . . " Many of us enjoy walking with friends. But the power of walking and friendship is extra inspiring in today's episode. Leslie Hooton, author of three novels and a true inspiration, had to learn to walk multiple times throughout her life because of a stroke she had when she was born and numerous surgeries she's endured since. In this heartwarming episo...
Jun 29, 2023•20 min•Season 1Ep. 62
Award-winning journalist, best-selling author, and podcast creator, Jo Piazza , joins me to answer the question---Is texting ruining the art of friendship communication? Together we make the case for old-school phone calls and low-key hangs. We referenced two of Jo's Substack pieces: In Praise of the Low-keyHang I Don't Want to Text Anymore Meet Jo Piazza JJo Piazza is a bestselling author, podcast creator, and award-winning journalist. She is the bestselling author of many critically acclaimed ...
Jun 22, 2023•22 min•Season 1Ep. 61
College friendships! Daisy Alpert Florin, author of My Last Innocent Year , joins me to discuss the unparalleled intimacy of college friendships. We delve into the impact of choosing the right college environment, as well as how the lack of technology (in the 90s) and the abundance of time led to more meaningful connections. Don't miss this nostalgia-filled episode as Daisy and I analyze how and why college friendships can have lasting influence for the rest of our lives. Meet Daisy Alpert Flori...
Jun 15, 2023•28 min•Season 1Ep. 60
How can we help our teens navigate the complexities of friendships without projecting our own experiences, desires, or traumas onto them? What level of parent involvement is appropriate? In this thought-provoking episode, I spoke to the insightful Stephanie Sprenger to explore the delicate art of guiding our children through the messy world of friendships while recognizing when our own feelings and experiences might be hindering their growth and learning. As parents, we might struggle to find th...
Jun 08, 2023•37 min•Season 1Ep. 59
There is tremendous value to poker, mahjong, and other games for making friends and getting closer with the friends you already have. I’m a longtime fan today's guest, author and podcaster, Mark Oppenheimer , who spoke with me about the value of participating in a regular game with friends. In Mark's case, he has a longstanding poker game. I talked about mahjong. Bridge was a big part of my parents' social lives. There is something about a game with a regular group of players that is different f...
Jun 01, 2023•30 min•Season 1Ep. 58
Gretchen Rubin and I spoke about her newest book, Life in Five Senses , and specifically about how awareness of the five senses can improve our friendships. We covered examples such as listening better for what’s being said and not being said, making plans to see new sights with friends, paying attention to where our eyes are focused (not on our phones and Apple watches), hugging friends (a challenge for me!), taste experiments, leaning into nostalgia through discussing memories of smells and ta...
May 25, 2023•47 min•Season 1Ep. 57
I’m revisiting the problems and potential of group texts (but mostly the problems) because there are still some group text shenanigans I’d love to see go away. I want us to love our group chats with friends! We CAN improve! In this episode you will get some easy ways to make the group texting experience better. I’m SO excited for even more listeners to hear Kat Vellos, who helped me navigate the world of group texts and all the friendship issues and potential that come along with them. Meet Kat ...
May 18, 2023•37 min•Season 1Ep. 56
One afternoon Emma Nadler gets a call from her daughter's doctor that changes her life forever. Faced with the realities of raising a child with a rare genetic condition, Nadler must confront her preconceptions of motherhood and her perfectionistic beliefs." Today we’re talking about how to support friends facing an ambiguous loss. My guest, Emma Nadler, is a psychotherapist in Minneapolis and the author of The Unlikely Village of Eden , briefly summarized in the words above. Emma’s incredible m...
May 11, 2023•27 min•Season 1Ep. 55
One of Laura Tremaine's friendship philosophies is to put connection and relationship on your daily to-do list. And one example of a "to-do" we discussed was this: TEXT YOUR FRIENDS BACK! This came up for Laura after a few friends called her out. After realizing some of her communication mishaps and a few other friendship details were falling between the cracks or hurting friends' feelings, Laura solved the problem by putting her friendship goals and intentions on a daily to-do list. She has her...
May 04, 2023•33 min•Season 1Ep. 54
Evereve's co-founder and co-CEO, Megan Tamte , joins me to discuss making new, very close friends later in life. And by later, we mean any time in adult life. We talked about how to reach out to potential friends, how to hear "no," how to say "no," reaching out to old friends, and real friends vs. deal friends. Megan also gave me some emergency fashion advice at the end. I recently saw a story on the Today Show about two women who traveled around the world together. They promised they would do t...
Apr 27, 2023•31 min•Season 1Ep. 53
Today on Dear Nina I have a guest with a harrowing and inspiring story to share about starting a new life with new friends after a horrific tragedy. This is unlike any story I've heard firsthand, and I'm grateful for Jen's candor and honesty. Jen Zwinck wrote to me: After my husband was killed, I moved with my daughter to a small island in the Caribbean where I didn't know a single person. I went there to heal. What surprised me was the friendships that I formed while I was there, these women wh...
Apr 19, 2023•34 min•Season 1Ep. 52
First thing to know, not all friendships with issues are "toxic." I'm not sure there's a more overused word on the internet. That said, it's something we need to discuss on a friendship podcast. Recognizing a toxic friendship and what to do about it sounds like a serious thing to discuss. And it is! But my two guests are so fun and delightful that you could almost forget how unhappy these kinds of friendships can make people. Get ready for a lot of Midwestern accents on this episode, starting wi...
Apr 10, 2023•30 min•Season 1Ep. 51
I'm thrilled to welcome my mom back to Dear Nina. My mom, Kathy Sackheim, has been an instrumental part of the Dear Nina friendship universe. I quote her often in the column and the podcast. In this 20-minute episode she answered some questions that came in from the Dear Nina Facebook group . We covered the ways she's seen attitudes about friendship change through the decades, whether parents and kids can be friends, whether parents should get involved in teens' friendship issues, handling other...
Apr 03, 2023•19 min•Season 1Ep. 50
Author, Will Schwalbe , joins the show today with some of these thoughts and more: It's better to say something than nothing. Make the hard phone call. Donate to the cause. Let friends help you. Ask questions. Look past what you think you know about people. Assume the best. These are all keys to long-term friendship I discussed with Will, author of We Should Not Be Friends: The Story of a Friendship . The first part of the episode is a natural continuation of last week's episode about the benefi...
Mar 27, 2023•38 min•Season 1Ep. 49
There is so much value to having friends with different points of view and backgrounds. I love witnessing a friendship between people whose differences should make their connection unlikely, but instead their ability to discuss their experiences leads to greater understanding and closeness. Challenge and disagreement can be an enriching aspect of a friendship rather than something to avoid at all costs. It's not about convincing the next person; it's about diversity of experience and opinion in ...
Mar 19, 2023•32 min•Season 1Ep. 48
In an episode with Jill Smokler, formally THE Scary Mommy of the famous Scary Mommy, and currently the host of the podcast, She's Got Issues , you’re going to hear about the most common mistakes people make in friendships, and the hard learned lessons . You will also hear an all around honest chat between old college friends and some regrets from that time. Jill and I went to WashU together! She's been kind of enough to now have me on her show for a second time. We covered lots of friendship iss...
Mar 13, 2023•5 min
I have author, Christie Tate, back on the show! I have been so eager for this conversation. We are talking about Christie's newest memoir, B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found . We're focusing on friendship triangles, envy, jealousy, competition, and ghosting--all issues that come up in the book. You might know Christie as the author of the fantastic memoir Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life . It was a New York Times bestseller and a Reese Witherspoon book ...
Mar 06, 2023•34 min•Season 1Ep. 47
This week's episode with guest, Shari Leid , focuses on wisdom she’s gained after meeting with 144 of her friends. Our episode makes the case for the casual friendship. We also talked about expanding your friendship network by putting yourself out there to connect with new and old friends, giving friends grace, having intentional conversations to deepen friendships, and considering whether your "bar for entry” to friendship is too high. Meet Guest, Shari Leid Former litigator, Shari Leid, curren...
Feb 27, 2023•25 min•Season 1Ep. 46
Do your adult friendships mirror what you saw growing up in your household, or did you set out to do the exact opposite in your adult social life? I spoke to author, Linda Pressman, about her experiences growing up as the child of Holocaust survivors, her parents' friends, and her own adult take on friendship. Meet Linda Pressman Linda Pressman is the author of the recently published memoir, Jewish Girls Gone Wild . Her previous memoir, Looking Up: A Memoir of Sisters, Survivors and Skokie won t...
Feb 13, 2023•28 min•Season 1Ep. 45
The topic of diet culture and friendship inspired more emails from my Facebook group-- Dear Nina: The Group --than any other topic since I started the podcast. What do I mean by diet culture and friendship? I'm referring to how the culture of dieting and the worship of thinness affects friendships, can become competitive, and is spread among friends. We also discussed friends being overly invested in and overly influenced by each other's decisions about food. Pam Moore is an occupational therapi...
Jan 30, 2023•35 min•Season 1Ep. 44
Do you overspend to keep up with friends? It's tricky to navigate conversations about money with friends. What issues have come up for you about money and friendship? Does splitting things get tense? Planning trips? Participating in expectations around weddings, showers, going in with friends for gifts? Money can be a big issue between friends. Some of the solutions discussed in the episode can apply to any topic that's normally private and therefore tough to handle in friendship. Mia Brabham , ...
Jan 16, 2023•25 min•Season 1Ep. 43
Taking time to identify the friendships that are going well in your life and WHY is a worthwhile activity. It's my January challenge for listeners, readers, and for the Dear Nina Facebook group. This is one of my more personal episodes. Thanks for being here! Here is the 7-day happiness challenge from the New York Times mentioned in the episode. The challenge was inspired by the long study on happiness, all of which is compiled in the book The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientif...
Jan 06, 2023•18 min•Season 1Ep. 42
I spoke to narrative coach, Lisa Harris, about the sometimes-fuzzy lines between "work friends" and "real friends" and also the line people cross between friend and customer. In other words--treating your friends like your customers. Not a good idea! Meet Lisa Harris: Lisa Harris the CEO/founder of Lisa Harris & Company . Lisa’s entrepreneurial journey began in 2016 after publishing her book, Unveiled Beauty: Handwritten Stories From a Poetic Hear t. She spent 18 years in executive leadershi...
Dec 19, 2022•21 min•Season 1Ep. 41
I think this is the first time I've publicly discussed the bizarre memory of waiting up long into the night to see if I made the Pom Pom squad at Highland Park High School. Thank you to Rachel Levy Lesser and Stephanie Goldstein for inviting me on Life's Accessories, The Podcast to talk about the BIG mistake I made quitting the tennis team in high school, how a little bit of good old-fashioned friendship jealousy got me back into tennis, and why I love tennis people so much. ALL THE DEAR NINA LI...
Dec 14, 2022•3 min
Episode #40: After discussing the topic of great gift ideas for friends in my Facebook group-- Dear Nina: The Group --I heard such thoughtful examples that I wanted to share those ideas with listeners. There are some really creative gifts in this quick 10-minute episode. I also briefly discussed Anna Goldfarb's recent Atlantic article, "Gift-Giving is About the Buyer, Not the Receiver." Anna was a guest on episode 35 of Dear Nina. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO 📢 This week’s fabulous sp...
Dec 11, 2022•11 min•Season 1Ep. 40
Everyone tells me their city is the hardest city for making new friends. It's a common problem! I spoke to Pam Lamp who has a fun and helpful story about making new friends at 57-years-old when she moved to Nashville with her husband and had to rebuild her social life. Pam's story spoke to me because I often hear from listeners and readers who struggle to make new friends as an adult. I don't think people realize how much work and humility it takes. You truly have to take the initiative and not ...
Nov 28, 2022•24 min•Season 1Ep. 39
I spoke to author Diana Spechler about a piece she wrote in her Substack called “How to Make Friends.” It was a refreshing take on making friends when moving to a new city and on friendship "deal breakers." What are your friendship preferences and limitations? Does repeated cancelling get to you? Is a friend who wants to talk several times a week asking for too much? Each of us has different "deal breakers." Outside of a significant breach of trust, there is no right and wrong here--just persona...
Nov 13, 2022•35 min•Season 1Ep. 38
