¶ Negative Messaging Surrounding Perimenopause and Menopause
Hey , this is Sonya from Dear Menopause . You've likely already noticed something a little bit different about this episode . Welcome to some bonus content that we have called Atomic Health . You are going to meet my good friend Roma , and we will be breaking down some content related to women's health and longevity .
I hope that you enjoy this fresh new bonus content that we have created just for you . Hey guys , I'm Sonya . I am the host of Dear Menopause the podcast , and a fierce advocate for empowerment and education around menopause , and I am here with my friend .
Roma and I'm the founder of Vitelle , a platform and app designed to help women through perimenopause and live healthier lives longer .
I am so excited about today's topic . We are going to be talking about the negative messaging around perimenopause and menopause . Yeah , I'm excited too . Why am I so delighted to be talking about this topic ?
I know it's funny , we're laughing when it's actually quite sad . But I think what we've both observed is we were so happy that the topic is finally being discussed , but then when we look at some of the people online on social media , it can run away with some and it gets very dark , very meamy it's . There's a lot to sift through now .
If you look at any of the hashtags .
Yeah , and I think that's why I agreed with you that this was a topic that was really we needed to have as a conversation .
I very much feel , particularly on social media , that there is now it's such a crowded space and there is so much noise , if you want around perimenopause particularly perimenopause , I think you know and the symptoms , and I think that's where the conversation can get very negative , very depressing .
Really , it can get really depressing and from my point of view , that comes down to the way that sometimes certain people depict the symptoms , how they choose to film themselves depicting the symptoms , the language that they use , the fact that that is all that they have to talk about on their social media accounts , and I find that it's a real shame because I
think that we're doing women a disservice , and I think that there's also and I don't believe it's intentional , but I think that there is also some fear that is being created in the general public as a result .
Yeah , I think the big opportunity there is to actually prepare women for perimenopause . Like a lot of the women I've spoken to that fall in their early to mid 30s , as late as their late 30s , early 40s , will even say to me that the word perimenopause was not something that come across and they didn't know how to spell it . So that's sad .
This is not a reflection of the person , it's just the fact that we're not doing better .
Yeah , now I'm going to go . As soon as you said the spelling thing , my brain started going that's interesting . Why would you not know how to spell it ? And then my brain went hmm , there's a couple of really well-known companies out there that use the word peri in their brand name , but it's not spelled peri as in her .
Scientifically it should be spelled , and I wonder if that causes confusion .
Yeah , I think that causes confusion . There's also the thing that we don't associate menopause with an age that starts with a three , sometimes not even with the age that starts with a four .
So I think for the longest time women just don't think that they fall within that bucket and then most women don't know the definition of menopause , like what it is and when it starts , and we finally got to a stage now in society where we're doing the young women , women who are coming of age , teenage women , less of a disservice than we actually prepare them ,
and in ways we've had to prepare them because everything's happening earlier for them , which is also probably the case for perimenopause and menopause . So if we know that young girls can menstruate at nine or 10 , that still blows my mind because there's so much that I don't want to explain to a nine year old around that topic .
That's so young , but it's happening quite a lot , and so at least now we have mothers who will sit down and say hey , you know , here is here your options . This is how you deal with it . When it happens during the month , it's probably a good idea to have a general idea of how regular it is .
Women come to me if you're dealing with any of the symptoms , whether that's PMS or it's anything that happens during the cycle . So I feel like when I talk to women now who are in their early 20s , they're very empowered and yet only 10 years later , 15 years later , we have a whole cohort of women who go oh wait , what ? Like ?
I basically just got used to that . So I spoke in a group last week and I said you know , your mid to late 30s is when SHIT is starting to hit the fan . And there was just this . Everybody started laughing in the room and in a way it was like a little awkward , a little uncomfortable , but then also very much just like oh , thank you .
Like I thought I was crazy . So then , but then once you catch people there , the opportunity to frame it more positively is much , much better than if you then , because if your next step is oh hey , this is what's going to happen . And , by the way , boom , there's 35 symptoms .
You're going to have everything for one of them , and then you become invisible , and then everything's over , and the visualization that we're going to give you of those symptoms is a woman that is dowdy and faggared , exhausted , 18 , 18 years old . Well , yeah , no , I'm not thinking quite that far yet .
I'm thinking about some of the women that are probably in their fifties , but it's , it's almost like . So , okay , this is where I'm going .
These are , these are some of the women that I follow on my , my Instagram account , on social media , that are using their platform to educate women on the fact that the symptoms that they're experiencing are likely to be perimenopause .
So , to do that , because of , you know , instagram and social media and algorithms , you know , video reels , those sorts of things are what we need to do to get engagement right . So they act out the symptoms and , in acting out the symptoms , they dress themselves down .
So they don't do their hair , they don't have on makeup , they wear track pants and daggy old big baggage t-shirts and they slump around the house , bumping into furniture and ripping over things and walking into rooms and then obviously forgetting what it was that they walked in for and turning around and walking out again , and that sort of thing is what I'm talking
about , and I get so disappointed that they feel the need to dress themselves down to role play the symptoms . If you're a woman in your , you know your example of you , know you're in your late 30s .
You've just had this penny drop moment of oh okay , shit is about to hit the fan , things are starting to change , but the next thing that you say is that You're going to go , oh hell , and I'm going to age 15 years as well in the next five years . Yeah , yeah . That's what I find frustrating and I find is really doing women a disservice .
And then there's the flip side . There are people who have to prove that they're now aging body that has things that are not sitting as tightly anymore as they did before . They have to show that in underwear and skimpy bikinis to even illustrate more how it's changed . And I find that really difficult too , because it's because , again , it's , it's clickbait .
It's quite often , you know , if you , if you just take a candid shot and you're on the beach and you're wearing your swimsuit and and of course we know it's going to be a little stylized because it's social media , but then please strut it , own it , do it .
But if you're taking your clothes off in a real just in order to illustrate how you've now got a bit more around the waist , or if the caption then says , oh , just getting used to this new body , it's like put it , frame it differently . Like you know , keep playing , keep being playful , keep learning new things , show us what that body can do .
Of course , I don't have the body that I had when I was 20 . But my body has also done some pretty incredible things that my 20 year old body and brain could not wrap their brain around . I struggle with that and we both know a lot about the topic . So we know of the possible perimenopause symptoms and menopause symptoms , but also they don't not .
Every woman will have 35 symptoms , so I honestly their symptoms I don't even want to know about . And there are also symptoms that will affect your lifestyle more and there are some that will affect it less . There are things that may be caused by different things than perimenopause . That's an important distinction .
Like if you think that you can keep living the way you lived in your 20s . You know , be stressed to the brim , keep drinking alcohol every night because it's your reward and your way of like getting out of the day , and then you wake up the next day and you have anxiety . It may not be perimenopause .
Yeah , I think if you want to scare someone somewhere , it might be better there to say hey , you may have to just have a look at your lifestyle in general overall and make healthier choices so that you don't deal with some of these symptoms in a stronger way .
Yeah , absolutely , and I think that's so important that we need to really raise awareness around the fact that not everything is going to come down to perimenopause . You know , and by constantly bombarding women with you know , whether it's a visualization or a list , or you know this constant .
You know perimenopause is all these random and weird symptoms and , yes , for some women , you know , they may experience some of those random , weird . You know , and we'll talk about some of the statistics in a minute so that we're not just kind of , you know , talking about social media .
¶ Improving Education and Healthcare for Women
You know I have a prime example of a client in the gym recently who she's a new client to me and she had been struggling with you know what she kept saying with her perimenopausal symptoms . Her doctor wasn't being particularly supportive of her GP , so I recommended a new GP for her to go and try , who I knew was great with perimenopause .
She went off and saw her . She came back to me and she went oh my goodness . So I sat down with the GP that you referred me to . I said to her you know she did this , which I she booked a long session with her , so she had half an hour with her .
You know we went through how everything that's changed in my life in the last three to four years and what I'm feeling like and you know . And she goes .
And then at the end of the session she looked me dead in the eyes and she said to me so you're telling me that during COVID you stopped exercising , you drank more , you're now studying full time , you have a teenage son and you've got some anxiety , you've put on weight and that's because of perimenopause .
And she said why don't we have a little look at your lifestyle issues before I talk to you about hormone therapy ? And this was why I'd sent her to this particular GP . And she came in and she was like it was like a light bulb moment .
I hadn't drawn the dots between the fact I drunk so much during COVID and I hadn't stopped that pattern that I stopped exercising during COVID and I hadn't really got back into my regular routine . My child is now a teenager . I'm studying full time . Yes , I've got anxiety , yes , I've put on weight , but it's not just because of perimenopause .
Yeah , it's a downward spiral .
If you go just easy and you know you could be in perimenopause and then take prescription medication for it , take hormone replacement therapy or bioidentical hormones and this is directly a quote from a clinician that I've spoken to If you think that that is your , yeah , get out of jail free card to then continue to not exercise and continue to not practice
mindfulness or like take your energy back to continue to drink more I think I can relate to as well with COVID . It's not even the quantity , was the regularity of it , because there was just nothing breaking that cycle Then , yeah , guess what ? You're going to have to make some changes . I just lost my train of thought , which we could ascribe to perimenopause .
It's another reason why we're having these conversations , because it's that funny . For me it could also still be postpartum and I'm happy to blame everything around me . I'll let you add to perimenopause and menopause . Can we talk about what you think we could do better ?
Yeah , I think what we could do better is . This may be controversial . What I would love to see done better is that the education doesn't just come from people on social media . We need education to come from the government . We need education to come from the schools . So we need education to come from sources that are trusted and tested and qualified .
Why we see so much noise in the space is because there is not enough regulated education that is available for women . We also need to see posters in our GP clinics . We need to have GPs and clinicians that are better educated and informed .
I'm not saying they all need to be experts , but they need to have a standard level of information that they can provide to all their patients . When we can meet a national standard of information and education , then the need for women to seek out information and education from less qualified and trusted sources diminishes .
No , I think you're absolutely right . I think the problem and I've had this conversation with another clinician is that often the respected voices don't want to disseminate the information in the way that we consume it , so they won't be seen on Instagram . They literally said to me . They said I'm too busy to be on social media , which is the extreme opposite .
We need doctors on social media and we need also with more people who are qualified in the space . Then also it becomes more cohesive .
Because I think what's happening now is you have the messaging of blast your belly fat , and it could be a doctor , could very well be a doctor that has an MD , still using this very triggering language , but also appealing language , because that person then proclaims that they can spot , reduce your fat around the belly , and then somebody else might get drowned out
who's saying something around your lifestyle or hormones that is more well-rounded . And then we have somebody else talking about fasting , which probably appeals to some people , but then again you don't know whether you can trust that .
There's a lot of information , especially around hormone replacement therapy , that is so confusing and you and I consume a lot of it and I find the same people will say you should start early then say , oh , you should probably only start when menopause has started . So can we first even just explain menopause to people ?
Can we explain that it's an entire year since your last period ? Because I would say 80% to 90% of women are not familiar with that . They just think it's something , this event that occurs when you're 50 . I would like to see that language and then I would like to see the language around the change and that still , it presents an opportunity .
And I think one thing that I've been saying just more recently is the same way we have checkups for other things , like we go to OBGYN , we go less than we used to . I remember in my late 20s they still expected you to have a pap smear every year , and I think now they tell you it's about three years , five . Well , yeah .
With the new technology . New technology five years .
Yeah , so great . For five years you don't see your gynecologist . But why don't we have a standard checkup .
You can also self-test now .
Yeah , I know , but the thing is women . There's another statistic that women actually don't go to the doctor because we're too busy .
Yeah .
So we have a check-in that also instills trust . Where we're going to go in at 38 . Say , 38 years of age , is when you go in and you get checked up and it's when you test all the vitamins and minerals . Hormone testing it's a whole different conversation . But you just give that person the opportunity for 30 minutes to be heard and be seen and prepared .
Yep , breast checks , hapsimares , skin checks , all of the blood work that you talked about Blood pressure checks , cholesterol , bone density , all of those things can you know ? There should absolutely be some regular standardized checkups that are done at perimenopausal stage and then also , I believe , at that postmenopausal stage as well .
So in probably , let's say , 38 , and then maybe 58 . And you know , in 58 , we can also be doing bone density and things like that again as well , because you know once then you postmenopausal , you know , so many women don't have , don't know what their bone density is . Yeah , they don't know it before and they don't know it after .
I mean , that's probably used to sum that up so well . That's . The other problem is , if there isn't one standardized appointment , like even the offer of it , then we're consuming all this information . So one day we might read a lot about osteoporosis and get freaked out . Oh God , you know , my bones will get brittle .
The next day we're reading about vaginal dryness and then the next day again it's anxiety . So , yeah , I wish there was an integrative clinic . I'm actually I just spoke to someone who's in Sydney , as you are , and she's talking about opening a medical center that will be integrative and combine all of that .
So GP , obgyn , endocrinologist and mental health people and health coaches . Maybe the plan is to make that fairly high touch , high price . But you know , with time she wants to be able to actually provide a free service to the affected areas of Sydney that really need it .
Yeah , great , because that is one of the downsides of our medical system is that you put together a collection of services like that and it does become very selective as to who can access it . It's accessible for the average patient .
Yeah , I think sadly that's not just Australia , I mean , it's . We all know about the healthcare system in the US . I come from Germany originally and , to be honest , germany is always held up as like great when it comes to pregnancy , postpartum .
There's so many services , but there's almost this like when you're middle class it's almost screwed because you , you know , you don't have the money to pay for a lot of out of pocket like you could , but it could cost you dearly , like any specialist appointment here , and you're not poor enough to actually get the full suite of services from the government .
But there's also there's a logistics price . In order to access these things , you have to be stubborn and you have to be able to go in and demand them . And so I think this goes back to the education . If you don't know what you're asking for , then it's really hard to request it .
Yeah , Basically we need to change all of our medical systems , all of our education and awareness campaigns coming from different sources . You have a big job ahead of us .
I know what are your favorite sources right now . Are there things you gravitate to more ?
Look there are . I probably spend a lot more time listening to Dr Louise Newsom and I get really disappointed when I see other people try and tear her down , which does happen . And that's the other thing that I find really disappointing in this space , and it wouldn't matter who it was , Any and this
¶ Managing Menopause and Support Gap
. I think this ties back in with what you were saying before about . You know , here in Australia , as an example , we need to see more doctors , you know in this space . But I think that there is this fear that when they do , they open themselves up to being attacked and pulled down . You know , Dr Ginny does do a great job here in Australia .
She is probably one of the few in Australia . Kelly Teagle is great with Welfen , but she's also very busy running Welfen as well , so that kind of does keep her out of the public eye a little bit more . But you know , I look at Dr Louise Newsom , who is UK based . She does have a little bit more of a global kind of stage as well .
But then , you know , there's always seems to be somebody willing to drag her down as well and have an attack at her about something that she said , and you know that must be really difficult to be constantly having to manage that as well as everything else that you know she's doing .
I'm also really interested right now in the work that's being done by Dr Avram Blooming . So he wrote the book Estrogen Matters and he is a US based doctor .
His book was actually written quite some time ago , but he's getting a lot more airtime about it , I guess at the moment , and as a breast cancer survivor , and particularly somebody that had an estrogen positive breast cancer , he talks a lot about the research that he has done and his team have done actually around the ability to provide women that have had an
estrogen positive breast cancer with MHT to manage their menopausal symptoms , which here right now is an absolute no , no , and is like no , you do not do that , no , you cannot have that , Like just literally , will not have a conversation with you about it .
He actually has researched to show that women should be able to have some estrogen put back into their bodies without a fear of it creating a recurrence of the cancer , and that we actually deserve it for a quality of life perspective . And he's he's , he's fascinating .
I think I would like to go a little deeper into what you just said about cancer as well , because I have had conversations with oncologists , and especially the ones that deal in gynecological cancers , and you know there are women who are affected by that . It doesn't discriminate , so it can be very young .
Now we're talking about people who are completely unprepared anyway , potentially either having to deal with the BRCA gene , which means you have to make an informed decision when to remove your reproductive organs and your breasts , and that one of the oncologists told me can be as early as the late 20s yeah , because you try to minimize the risk .
So really , what they do in the lead up to that is they're trying to preserve a woman's ability to have children later on , as much as that's possible , or in that moment , and then they decide when to take everything out .
These women don't go into perimenopause , they go straight into menopause and they do it at an age where they've probably just really found their footing with their period , with their cycle .
And one of the things that he said that was absolutely missing is how to transition these women into menopause with dignity and prepare them for the absolute intensity that is menopause when it's medically induced and everything that comes with it .
So there are a few very vulnerable voices on social media that talk about it and I think when it comes from the person directly , I really I get drawn in and that's where I like to listen to that , because then it's firsthand like lived experience and that when that is more negative but often the people who are affected like that are actually not negative .
You know , they've the joy and the beauty and the will to go on and find ways to make it better . I wonder what you think about that .
Yeah , no , I absolutely agree , and I worked for a period of time and I still do some writing for Pink Hope , which is a not for profit that works specifically in that space of supporting women with the predominant of the brachygene and the different genes around that do mean that women choose to have preventative surgeries you know , gynecological or breast to ensure
that they are removing the risk of future cancers . It is a really really big concern . You know that is one of the biggest things . You know it's dealing with their loss of fertility . You know often they are going , they enter into egg harvesting and you know , or they go into early IVF of the hope of having .
You know , if they're in a relationship , they perhaps bring their plans to have children forward so that they fast track that before they then have the surgeries . Or you know you've got women that are so young they haven't even met their partners yet and they're the ones that do the egg harvesting and things like that . Them managing menopause is really difficult .
It's really really hard and it's really unfair and it's really traumatic . It's really traumatic . You know . Not only are they , are you dealing with the trauma of the surgeries , and these are big , invasive surgeries . You know whether it be the breast removal and then reconstructions .
The surgeries for those , you know , can be many and very big surgeries , and then the gynecological surgeries as well , same .
So there's the trauma of , you know , finding out that you need to have the surgery , making the decision whether you do or don't , then the surgeries themselves , and then there's the menopause afterwards and there's the young women , and it's really hard , it's , you know .
Yeah it really is , and yet you know we don't hear enough about them and we don't hear enough stories about you know how to manage that ?
Because I almost feel like when you come when something is so stark , that's when people start adding more good stuff , because people want to give hope and not just the young women , anybody who goes to medically induced menopause that's when you're trying to add in good things like how can you make this process better , how can you make the journey better ?
And yet when you're healthy , we go the other way . We go and this is also a very female thing . We can't just say , hey , this is next stage coming . You know it's going to be rocky , it's not going to be that easy , but here , ways to manage it and it's going to be okay because we've got you , we've created this community , we're creating this conversation .
So I really wonder how we could cross that divide .
I had an interesting conversation with someone because I was talking about the need for I realized this through my lived experience that there's a support gap that exists between being handed off from your specialist , whether that's your surgeon or your oncologist , that basically puts you into that induced menopause , to your kind of life afterwards , and having to manage
all of that by yourself . And there is a significant gap that exists there and from a support perspective . You know I was talking to someone in the nursing space about you know how do we feel that gap and you know they made a really great suggestion and it was like well , why don't you go back and talk to some of the pharmaceutical companies ?
Because it's their drugs that you know . Often it's either their drugs or it's . You know the surgeons , it's the surgeries you know that are putting the women into this position . What are they going to do to support them ?
Yeah .
That's a really good question . That's a really good question .
So we're revamping healthcare and then we're also going to fix the pharmaceuticals . And we're going to bring the pharmaceutical companies to answer some questions as well , and we'll do that in order to improve the messaging around menopause and menopause .
It's really , I think , whenever things look like that and you know we've talked about how we've personally been affected by menopause or menopause have you seen ? The psychologist online is probably multiple , but this one in particular she dropped dirt into a glass of water , so it's a clear mason's water is clear .
She drops a little bit of dirt in and then she tries to fish out as much of that dirt individually as she can and obviously it doesn't . It doesn't work .
So and I had seen I hadn't seen this before , so it kind of blew my mind Then she just starts pouring clear water into it more and more and more and more and more , until all of the dirt is washed up and flows out and then it's back to clear . And I just thought that is such a nice way of thinking of our lifestyle .
When things go wrong and you know we also forget that they're within perimenopause not every day is going to be terrible Like , yes , there are days that are harder and there are days with more symptoms , but there are also a lot of days where you can celebrate the fact that you are now more of your own person , like I find now .
I get less nervous speaking to people . I get less nervous speaking publicly because I honestly don't care anymore . Like I don't care about what people think , I can say something with more conviction where there was much more .
You know , like they say , it's called conviction confidence , something where men will often present something with absolute conviction and even if someone in the group knows that what they're saying is not right , nobody is going to challenge it because of how they present themselves . And I used to definitely be the opposite of that and now I go .
That's right , I think .
I love that , but you're right , there is definitely a space that we step into where we do put less time and energy into worrying about what other people think , and it's incredibly freeing and it opens us up to being able to do more with our lives as a result .
I think and that's where I see so much of the beauty and power that comes from moving through the transition and into what I am really beginning to see as an opportunity for a midlife transformation that opens up post the menopause transition .
Yeah , I was going to ask you what are the things that you actually look forward to at the stage , because you know it's easy to look back and go oh , I wish I still had whatever I had in my twenties . You know my body , my brain , my resilience , my ease of living . You know , just hop on a plane .
What are the things you've discovered in the last few years and what are the things within that that you're excited to either explore more or just explore anew ?
Yeah , that's a really good question
¶ Navigating Menopause and Embracing Change
. I think the biggest thing for me has been that less care about what other people think Like and and it's I find it really hard to describe . It's not as simple as that . There's words that you know power , potency , empowered you know , but there is definitely a transformation that happens .
Somebody described it the other day as it's an identity shift and maybe , maybe that's what it is , and I think it's an identity shift that that happens without you actually going out and seeking and you know a lot of people go out and actually purposely create an identity shift . I think that there is an identity shift that happens through the menopause transition .
That is a subconscious thing that you know if you are open to recognizing it and getting curious about what's changing and willing to lean into the things that are changing . That you just said you know having more conviction , even though that little voice at the end of your sentence of is .
You know if that , I think , is getting quieter each time and your conviction is growing . You know leaning into that as opposed to you know your old patterns , which might have been . You know the opposite of that .
That is an identity shift that's just organically happening and I truly believe that that is , you know , something that we have to look forward to and just really being open to letting that unfold , seeing where it takes you . I am lucky enough to have my kids in my twenties now . So you know , my years of having to raise my children are over .
You know , my boys are fully fledged , fully evolved adults , you know . Yes , they still live at home but they are completely financially independent . They live fully evolved adult lives . Now that is really lovely , having them . I actually enjoy having them in the house as adults . It's completely changed our relationships . It's fun .
I love watching them as adults go out about in the world . And it's changed what I can do now as a woman . I'm not a slave to the oven anymore .
I don't have to be at home thinking about who I'm going to cook for and making sure everybody's got dinner on the table at five o'clock and getting them to sports training and making sure homework's done and all of those sorts of things . I love that . That part of my life is now over . It's changed the relationship with my husband .
We have moved into a completely different stage of life . What we now plan for our life is our next phase of life . The next third of our life , basically , is exciting again . It's not just planning family holidays , it's just us . Where are we going to go ? What are we going to do ? Where are we going to live next ?
We can downsize now and what do we want that to look like . It's a really exciting phase of life to be moving into . I love this part of my life .
That sounds so nice , I'm still in . The slave to the oven prepared three different meals for five o'clock , five thirty . You know when you're waiting for your child to say mama or mom , and then they say it non-stop .
You see , I don't get that anymore .
If they don't get the attention they deserve . Mama , mama , mama , mama . There's something very rewarding .
But , like you said , I think I really look forward to for me , even just a few years ahead , when traveling gets easier with children and then where you can like skip out and go somewhere , just the two of you , and have a little bit more of the quality time . Right now , we're definitely still in the handover phase . It's like were you able to do this ?
Yes , no , have you checked on that ? Have you packed the lunch bag ? It's a lot . I don't need extra negative messaging around what my body may or may not do . I think I want people to show me how to do that in the best way for me . If , who do I admire ? I always go back to people where I go . Wow , you know not .
Oh , she's running her household perfectly . I do have a really I have like a dirty secret . I love organizing videos . Have you ever seen the ASMR videos on TikTok , where someone just opens drawers and they have like the little things where it's perfectly organized , it's perfect , the fridge . They pre-wash their berries with baking soda and water .
Oh my God , what about these people ? One drawer just for raspberries , one drawer just for blueberries . They have little drink trays where everything just rolls forward and gets pushed forward and I go oh , and then I open our fridge and like half the stuff is just like falling at me .
That's because you live in the real world .
Yes , that's why that's definitely where my fantasy runs away with me on social media . But otherwise I think I just look forward to like I want to see people who are managing their life day to day at the similar stage in a way that I can aspire to Like some days that is me , other days it's absolutely not .
And then obviously I want , like vetted information that will make me feel like I have options . I think that's another big one , having options and not just oh , you have to take hormones or you cannot take hormones . That's the other thing . We can't just say black and white .
Someone tried to make me that type of hippie and they were like well , I feel holistic , then you must be against hormones . Like , if I break my leg , I'm not going to see my chiropractor okay , I'm not extreme and not an idiot and if I'm going to slice open my foot , I won't see my acupuncturist . But I think I want to be able to have options .
I want to know that if I choose one thing , it will positively affect my life and if it doesn't , I may just have to go off it again . So I just wish there was more coherence on social media around that . Right now it's like you said , it's very noisy and a lot of it is very fear mongering .
Yeah , I do fear that that's where we're heading very much , and it's a shame because I think there was a window there where we had the opportunity to raise awareness , create conversation and really have good , solid , balanced conversations . But I think that window is getting narrower and the noise of everything else is just filling up the gaps .
And I've just escaped the pregnancy noise , literally Like you'll never sleep again and I feel like why are we doing ourselves such a disadvantage ?
Well , now we're being told that about perimenopause . That's the other thing that when we're talking about it's , you're going to have a brain fog and you're never going to sleep again .
Your memory is you're never going to remember anything again and you're constantly going to be hot flushing and you're just going to get itchy and you're never going to have a libido again . And it's like I said we'd talk about stats and we didn't do that .
But yes , there are a variety of symptoms , but not every woman is going to experience every symptom and some women 20% of women will experience no symptoms . She will just transition through and it will be a smooth transition and there will be very , very minimal bumps in the road for her .
There's one group we didn't include in who we should listen to , which is if you have access to your mother and your older siblings , those are the people to look to first . If you happen to fall in the good category , the lucky category of 20% , and you had a mother who goes , I don't know , like it was okay , you might very well be okay .
If you have a mother who says , oh no , it was horrible and my menopause happened at 45 , you should probably take yourself to the doctor sooner , yeah , so I think , and then wait in fear of what might happen for you , because we now have the therapies available to and the lifestyle adjustments , the science behind the lifestyle adjustments that you can make now to
ensure that you don't repeat that experience , or at least to minimize the repetition of those experiences and as much as we bash the lucky , lucky gentlemen who don't go through any of it at that age .
Sometimes it might actually be better to look at what men are doing to be healthy during that stage and just go and get a little inspired .
Not everything might fit for you , but if they even just inspire you to go for a walk of 30 minutes because they said that it should be 150 minutes a week , that's a fantastic way to start and I think that's why a lot of people are gravitating towards the people that we know who are blowing up on social media .
So yeah , I think finding a balance between the motivation , inspiration and then the information is really important to me , and saying that I will go and restrict the blood flow to my upper biceps to go and do some heavy strength training , like I've seen it on social media among the men , because apparently if you work a restricted muscle to exhaustion , you end up
with bigger gains .
Awesome , go get jacked , babe . Thank you so much for your work .
Thank you , thank you , thank you , thanks . I love this episode . I'm very excited about this new format .
You've been listening to Atomic Health , a sub-series of Dear Menopause with Sonja Lovell and Roma Van der Volt . If you'd like to know more , check the show notes for links and further details . Thanks for listening .