Ever feel like you're being deliberately provoked by your woman? Or that she sometimes pushes and pushes until she gets a rise out of you -- often about what seem like tiny things? This pattern can be confusing until you understand the deeper reasons for it. And it's quite a common in dating and relationships, though we don't often discuss it explicitly. Related to polarity, the way Jason puts it is that "the poke is a call for presence and deeper feeling." It's not always the most mature or con...
Nov 22, 2024•57 min
Ever gotten the sense that a woman is sizing you up ... deciding whether you match up with a list she has in her head around her ideal partner? You might be right. Whether you're online dating, speed dating, or meeting someone in real life, a lot of women do have a list, and it can be confusing or even frustrating when you interface with it. Here, we discuss the nuances of "the list" -- the why behind it, how to engage with it, and the tension between the need to be open/flexible, and the need t...
Nov 15, 2024•1 hr 8 min
What does it actually mean to be needy? We use the term a lot, and sometimes in less-than-kind ways -- both in terms of describing others as well as ourselves. Having needs is a universal experiences. Humans, animals, plants, and every living thing has certain needs. Human beings need food, water, and sleep on a biological level -- and we also need love, respect, and a sense of belonging. If we don't have these needs met, then we have reactions. In a love relationship, it can feel difficult or e...
Nov 09, 2024•50 min
Do you ever feel ashamed of your porn use, or wish you could stop or cut down? Ever had trouble getting it up and wondered if that's connected to porn use? Ever compared dating partners to women you see in porn, and wondered if that was negatively impacting your sex or love life? Over 10% of men are addicted to porn, according to a 2019 study in the Journal of Behavioral Addictions . (As of 2024, I suspect that number is even higher.) Porn has also been linked to to erectile dysfunction, prematu...
Nov 01, 2024•58 min
If you've ever felt anxious around a woman you were attracted to, gone rigid when you tried to flirt, or completely shut down during a fight with your partner, you know what it is to go into freeze. When we're overwhelmed, we can lock up. This is inconvenient if what you really want to do in that moment is to move, get someone's number, or speak up for yourself during a moment of tension with your spouse or in a meeting at work. Where does this behavior come from? Why did it develop? What do we ...
Oct 25, 2024•1 hr 16 min
Ever wondered what different women say when they get really real about their last relationship? How about why they do growth work — and what it looks like for them? Here, I take you behind the curtain to give you a peek at exactly that. This is an amalgam episode with responses from over over ten women who answered three questions: What’s the biggest thing you learned in your last relationship? What’s a memorable time a man showed up for you or honored you in some way? Why do you do growth work ...
Oct 18, 2024•1 hr 5 min
If you love having sex with women and want to be known as a great lover, being good at going down is an important part of your repertoire. ;) But it’s not easy to talk about this with anyone, so here we’re laying it bare. Four of us ladies share openly about what really works for us in oral sex -- what we desire, long for, and what holds us back in terms of receiving deep pleasure. Whether you're married and wanting to know how to excel at cunnilingus on your wife, or you’re dating and want to h...
Oct 12, 2024•1 hr 11 min
When your partner gets anxious or upset, do you feel like it's your fault or that you have to fix it immediately? How able are you to stay grounded and feel your own self, even amidst her storm/upset? Ever found yourself doing anything to calm her down -- because your sense of being OK was contingent upon her feeling OK? (We find this common in the men with whom we work. Here, we talk about how to stay grounded even when she's going through it. We outline how to know what's actually going on for...
Oct 04, 2024•59 min
"For so long I felt like, ‘this is only happening in my marriage.’" If you've ever experienced something dark, difficult, or deeply challenging in your love relationship, *and didn't feel like you could talk about it with others,* you'll relate to this episode. Few topics bring up wounds as deep as betrayal. Whether you've experienced a partner cheating (physically or emotionally), abuse of some kind, or some other kind of damaging withholding or acting out in a relationship, you're familiar wit...
Sep 27, 2024•1 hr 15 min
What are you most ashamed of? Is it your sexuality -- how much you want and need sex, or your deep-down cravings that you fear others would judge if they knew about? Is it your yearning for love, your desire to be held or seen or known in some fundamental way? Many of the biggest breakthroughs we've witnessed in clients have come when they've headed directly into shame, been witnessed with compassion, and come out the other side. It is almost inevitable that releasing shame builds power, which i...
Sep 20, 2024•1 hr 10 min
Ever experienced porn addiction (and had that affect your love relationship), contended with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, or been worried about what your cock looks like? Then you'll feel right at home with this episode. Here, several men in our community share their unvarnished truth with their own voices. They forthrightly and vulnerably answer 3 questions: What's a major lesson you learned in your last relationship? What's a sexual challenge you've had and how have you addre...
Sep 13, 2024•46 min
Do you wish your woman was more open to sex? Not just intercourse, but the fun of the whole sex thing -- kissing, making out, foreplay, getting hot and heavy, doing the dirty. Ever longed for more from your wife/girlfriend/partner when it comes to sexuality -- and not just "from her" but with her? Ever wished she had more fun when it came to sex, that she enjoyed it more, was more expressed and into it ? Many of our clients feel a yearning to connect more with their woman, but aren't even sure h...
Sep 06, 2024•1 hr 5 min
Ever been around a woman who was closed down, shut off, or emotionally unavailable? Ever felt like your partner wanted to say something but was holding back, and if you'd somehow shown up in a different way, maybe she'd have let you in? Perhaps you've felt some version of, "I can’t handle that anger right now so I need to remove that anger from her." Or if your partner is upset with you, you've expressed something like, "You don’t need to feel that way because here was my *intention* in doing th...
Aug 30, 2024•1 hr 7 min
"When I was at my worst, I didn’t know there was a way out." Sometimes in life we get stuck. We don't know how to deal with big feelings, so we self-medicate -- with alcohol, or porn, or weed, or food. But often the self-medication gets in the way of things we really want -- love; intimacy; healthy, connected sex; joy. You may think of 12-step programs as solely for alcoholics, but they're far mroe comprehensive. There are programs for porn addiction, codependency in relationship, sex & love...
Aug 23, 2024•1 hr 11 min
Has your woman ever been in her masculine, and you wished she was in her feminine? Here's something that doesn't work: "Hey, could you drop into your feminine already?" ;) So how do you polarize your woman well? Polarity is one of those mysteries in life like electricity: We don't fully grasp why it works, but we can harness its power to make our lives better. I love polarity work because it can make a concrete difference in sex, love, dating, and relationships. I've seen countless clients ditch...
Aug 16, 2024•1 hr 10 min
Have you ever been concerned about getting involved with a woman because you didn't want to hurt her feelings if it didn't work out? Ever felt like you shouldn't go deeper emotionally with a woman you were dating because you weren't sure you wanted to put a ring on it? Does it ever feel like all women want a long-term, committed relationship, so if you're not available for that, you're somehow doing something wrong? The fact is, sex, dating and relationships are complex. There are a lot of possi...
Aug 09, 2024•48 min
If you’ve become aware that you experienced developmental trauma (and/or attachment wounding), you may wonder how to heal from it. Where do you go to move through stuck parts of yourself that are holding you back? How do you get things moving and release blocks so you can finally get what you want in sex, dating, and relationships? Jason was a self-proclaimed late bloomer Nice Guy with developmental trauma — he had sex for the first time at 26, and still had a lot to learn around dating. Plus, h...
Aug 02, 2024•52 min
Ever felt like when it comes to your relationship, you're constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop? Or that when you come home, you don't know what (or who) you're going to get? Or that every moment is, "Are they OK?" "Are they OK?" "Are they OK?" Reality check: It is not normal to be constantly on guard or anxious in your relationship . That kind of chronic anxiety is highly dysregulating -- and yet it's the "norm" for many of the men with whom we work. Whether they're in sexless marriages...
Jul 26, 2024•55 min
Ever wanted to explore role-play in sex? If so, you're not alone! According to research, one in three people in North America alone wants to try some kind of role-play in the bedroom, whether that's doctor/patient, professor/student, cop/detainee, pirate/wench or some other sexy dynamic. Why is sexual role-play so intriguing? Is it different from kink/BDSM? How do you bring it up in a fun and respectful way with a partner? What are your hesitations, and what might your partner's hesitations be? ...
Jul 19, 2024•1 hr 22 min
"It felt kind of like a trap, but at the same time felt like a soothing warm blanket to feel safe and ruminate within." "The codependent relationship is filled with drama. There is blaming, a victim and the rescuer/protector. That rescuer is filled with needing to be needed. That’s where it began for me." "It was years of trying as hard as I could to make things better but never being good enough to matter how hard I tried." The word "codependence" gets thrown around a lot, but it's not always c...
Jul 12, 2024•1 hr 1 min
Did you have a deeply present, emotionally aware father who took the time to attune to you and teach you how to be a trustworthy, integrated man? If so, you're in the minority. ;) Most of our clients had far-less-than-ideal role models when it came to the masculine -- which makes becoming a trustable adult man challenging. For example, do you feel equipped to lead hard conversations with your woman partner, and help the two of you navigate repair? Are you able to stand up for yourself in a deep,...
Jul 05, 2024•1 hr 6 min
There's a lot out there about Nice Guy Syndrome. But what happens after? What is the magical land of Boundaries, for example? If you’ve figured out you’re a Nice Guy, you’ve likely been in a love relationship or two (or five) where you felt like your partner walked all over you, or where you developed resentment after overextending yourself. Or perhaps you've consistently felt used in your relationships. If you’ve ever had thoughts like, “When’s it going to be my turn? Why doesn’t she want to ha...
Jun 28, 2024•1 hr 15 min
Ever contended with anxiety, depression, chronic pain, ADHD, or OCD ... and had that affect your sex or love life? Ever suspected that you have generational trauma, or thought you were broken? Ever felt like there was something wrong with you because you just can't seem to get it together when it comes to relationships? Spoiler alert: There is nothing wrong with you, and you are not broken. Sometimes we just all need some support to break through big blocks. Here, I talk with David Romero, psych...
Jun 21, 2024•1 hr 2 min
"I took responsibility for things that wasn’t mine to take." So begins the brave stories of four men who share their personal experiences of what it was like being in relationship with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder (or with traits of it). If you've ever been unsure about whether your partner may have traits of BPD, this is a good one to listen to. For example, ever felt like your role in your relationship is solely that of a caretaker? In one man's words, "I felt like a caregiver ...
Jun 14, 2024•1 hr 31 min
Have you ever felt like you needed to make a lot of money to impress women? Ever had a dynamic shift around money in a relationship, and not known how to deal with it (for example, she starts making more than you, and you have unexpected feelings about that)? Have you wondered who should pay on a date (do you offer to? Is that considered sexist now?) If you've wanted to be a fly on the wall and hear the unvarnished truth about how women feel about men, money, and masculinity, then this one's for...
Jun 07, 2024•1 hr 7 min
Ever chased emotionally unavailable women? Ever dropped a connection because you felt overwhelmed, or like something was "off" but you couldn't quite name what it was? Ever been uncomfortable with the "mess" of dealing with someone else's emotions, or been hesitant to share your own out of a fear of rocking the boat? Then this episode will resonate. Here we talk directly about avoidant attachment traits -- including what they've been like for us personally. For example, finding something small b...
May 31, 2024•48 min
Sexy time, pickers, and dating, oh my! Here I answer the following three common client or listener questions: "I’ve heard women say it’s a red flag if the man has not had relationship experience. What do you say?" "One issue I've had is selecting the right female partner. What is a good way to guide myself to go about doing this?" (My picker is off) "How do I initiate sex without coming off as demanding? I come from a relationship where I think I pressured her into sex, or I wrongly felt sex was...
May 24, 2024•29 min
When is it time to stay and work on things in your marriage, and when is it time to let things go? Perhaps you can relate to scenarios like these: You're worn out and exhausted because you're always the one reaching out to your wife and never getting anything back You're great co-parents but your sex life is DOA As a couple you rarely or never openly fight, but there's constant, underlying tension You feel like you can never get it right with her, and often feel hopeless about experiencing the i...
May 17, 2024•1 hr 14 min
If your marriage isn't working, you're suffering. Maybe you're fighting all the time (whether aloud or not). Maybe you're great co-parents, but you don't connect in an intimate way anymore. And when I say "intimate" I'm not just talking about sex; I'm talking about warmth, closeness, and connection. Should you automatically stay in a relationship because there are children involved? The fact is, kids are perceptive and intuitive. They're aware when there's distance or discord between parents, ev...
May 10, 2024•53 min
Have you ever been scared of your wife / woman partner? Ever been harmed by her? If yes, it's likely you never felt like you could talk to anyone about it because you were afraid of what they would say, or whether they would shame you. In polarity work, we often talk about feminine storm. But where's the line between feminine storm, feminine rage, and abuse? We want to break the silence and go into this. According to the CDC, one in seven men in the U.S. has suffered severe physical violence at ...
May 03, 2024•49 min
