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Dear Dr. Tracy

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Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If you’re ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.
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Episodes

Mini Session #10: Coping with Anxious Attachment in Relationships

In today’s mini-session, Dr. Tracy addresses coping with anxious attachment in relationships. She explains that it’s not your fault and stems from unmet needs in the past. Dr. Tracy emphasizes self-soothing with affirmations like “I am loved, I am enough, I am worthy” and highlights the importance of looking inward for acceptance. Understanding triggers, practicing self-compassion, and clearly communicating your needs and struggles to your partner are key strategies. Self-compassion involves ack...

Jul 14, 20249 min

Parenthood, Perfectionism, and Finding Peace after Birth Trauma with Dr. Mona Amin

Trigger warning: Traumatic birth experience In today’s session, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Mona Amin, a board-certified general pediatrician, online parenting educator, wife and mother. She shares her mission to provide relatable content for parents, aiming to instill confidence and calm in their parenting journey. In this episode, Dr. Mona candidly opens up about her traumatic birth story, the subsequent health challenges her family faced, how it affected her marriage, the importance of self-...

Jul 11, 202455 minSeason 5Ep. 28

Mini Session #9: Let's Talk About Feelings with Dr. Becky Kennedy

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Becky discuss the impact of growing up with parents who, despite their best efforts, did not validate certain emotions. This creates an intergenerational legacy where unvalidated feelings become triggers today. They highlight the importance of changing the script for our children's future and our own mental health. By showing kindness, compassion, and curiosity to ourselves, we can model these behaviours for our kids. They challenge the outdated belief tha...

Jul 07, 202410 min

What to Do When They Never Plan Date Nights

Tired of always being the initiator in your relationship? This week, Dr. Tracy addresses the common issue of "my husband doesn’t plan date nights," a struggle many listeners have shared. She discusses the prevalent belief in heterosexual relationships that men should instinctively know and plan for their partner's needs, emphasizing that healthy relationships require intentional effort and open communication. Dr. Tracy highlights the importance of recognizing different seasons in partnerships, a...

Jul 04, 202449 minSeason 5Ep. 27

Mini Session #8: Addressing Mom Burnout & Perfectionism with Dr. Jen Douglas

In this week’s mini session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jen Douglas, a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, licensed psychologist, and mental wellness speaker, tackle mom burnout and perfectionism, highlighting the pressures modern mothers face. They discuss how today’s moms spend twice as much time on parenting compared to 1965, coupled with the demands of being constantly available to employers. This has led to unrealistic expectations of being a hands-on, super-present mom. They emphas...

Jun 30, 20248 min

The Dos and Don’ts of Postpartum Visits with Renee Reina

The dynamic duo is back together! This week, Dr. Tracy welcomes back her fellow Canadian sister, Renee Reina, host of the top-ranking podcast The Mom Room, for an open and honest discussion about handling visitors after giving birth. Renee shares her personal experience and how her perspective on postpartum visits shifted after having her son, Milo. They distinguish between true support people and visitors, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing the mother's comfort a...

Jun 27, 20241 hr 1 minSeason 5Ep. 26

Mini Session #7: Prioritizing Intimacy

Today's mini session is all about scheduling sex and prioritizing intimacy. Don't leave sex until the end of the night when you're exhausted. Dr. Tracy encourages listeners to be intentional about scheduling it and making it a priority. Remember, intimacy isn't just about intercourse; it's also about emotional connection and shared activities. She offers suggestions and encourages new approaches like naptime sex and taking off the pressure by just being close. If sex feels like a chore, talk ope...

Jun 23, 202410 min

Managing Sensory Overload with Dr. Brooke Weinstein

This week, Dr. Tracy has the great honour of speaking with Dr. Brooke Weinstein, a renowned expert in sensory and emotional regulation, about the critical importance of understanding and managing our nervous systems. Dr. Brooke, known for her engaging and digestible social media content, explains the concept of sensory overload and how our fast-paced digital world contributes to widespread mental health issues. They discuss the differences between tantrums and meltdowns, the necessity of regular...

Jun 20, 20241 hr 4 minSeason 5Ep. 25

Mini Session 6: Unpacking Codependency and Trauma with Anna Aslanian

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy chats with Anna Aslanian about codependency and understanding how people end up in codependent relationships. They redefine codependency, moving away from the old assumption that it always involves addiction, and instead highlighting it as a response to trauma and a way of seeking safety in relationships. They emphasize that dependency is not inherently negative, as humans are relational beings who need connection. Dr. Tracy and Anna also explore the nuanced defin...

Jun 16, 202410 min

Understanding Avoidant Partners with Greg Stewart

In this highly relatable episode, Dr. Tracy teams up with her favourite co-host, her husband Greg, to dive into the tricky terrain of avoidant attachment styles in relationships. Sharing their personal stories, they unpack how our past experiences shape behaviours today. Dr. Tracy breaks down attachment theory, reminding us that dependency isn't weakness—it's human. They explore why updating relationship "scripts" is crucial and how regular check-ins can prevent resentment. Greg opens up about h...

Jun 13, 202442 minSeason 5Ep. 24

Mini Session 5: Turning Invisible Work into Visible Work with Eve Rodsky

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy chats with Eve Rodsky about turning "invisible work" into "visible work." Invisible work includes the behind-the-scenes tasks mothers and women often handle without recognition. Eve shares how she created the "Shit I Do" spreadsheet, listing all these tasks and gathering input from women in various communities. This effort made the extensive contributions of mothers more visible. Eve discusses the importance of women taking agency in their lives and introduces the...

Jun 09, 202411 min

Breaking Relationship Patterns with Amy Chan

Have you ever wondered why you constantly end up in the same type of relationship? Or maybe you're contemplating whether or not you can continue on with your current partner. These are all common questions we've all asked ourselves at some point in our lives and will be addressing in today's conversation. In this episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Amy Chan, founder of Breakup Bootcamp and author of "The Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," to discuss why we stay in bad relationships a...

Jun 06, 202448 minSeason 5Ep. 23

Mini Session 4: Debunking the Myth of "Happy Wife, Happy Life" with Greg Stewart

In this mini session, Dr. Tracy and her husband Greg debunk the myth of "Happy Wife, Happy Life." They argue that true happiness in a relationship should not come at the expense of one's own well-being. They emphasize the importance of having difficult conversations and maintaining a genuine friendship within the relationship. They also touch on the necessity of self-awareness and curiosity in resolving conflicts and highlight that we can only control our responses, not our partner's actions. Ul...

Jun 02, 20249 min

Putting Your Relationship First with Dr. Stan Tatkin

In a world where we're encouraged to prioritize individualism, and set boundaries, the importance of our relationships can often get lost. In this week's episode, Dr. Tracy chats with Dr. Stan Tatkin, a renowned clinician, researcher, and author of the bestselling book "Wired for Love." They explore the concept of interdependence in relationships, using the three-legged race analogy to highlight the importance of teamwork. Dr. Tatkin emphasizes understanding our own and our partner's brains to f...

May 30, 202450 minSeason 5Ep. 22

Mini Session 3: Attachment Styles and Conflict Resolution with Dr. Morgan Anderson

In this week's mini session, Dr. Tracy is joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson to discuss the challenges of relationship repair through the lens of attachment styles. They explore how individuals with anxious attachment struggle with distance, often engaging in anxious pursuit and abandoning their own needs to regain a sense of safety. These individuals must learn to self-soothe, such as by taking a walk or doing a task, and become comfortable with discomfort. Whereas those with avoidant attachment dea...

May 26, 202410 min

How to Overcome Perfectionism

In this week's solo episode, Dr. Tracy tackles a topic that affects many of us but is also something that is very near and dear to her heart, and that is perfectionism. She explains how perfectionism is more than a desire to do well, often becoming a relentless pursuit of flawlessness that can harm our mental health and relationships. Dr. Tracy explores the internal and external roots of perfectionism and introduces the concept of urge surfing, a technique used to manage the impulse to be perfec...

May 23, 202445 minSeason 5Ep. 21

Mini Session 2: Differentiating a Narcissist and a Non Narcissist with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman

Are you dealing with a narcissist or someone with chronically defensive tendencies? In this session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jaime Zuckerman explore the key differences between a chronically defensive person (non-narcissist) and a full-blown narcissist. The session delves into the behavioral contrasts, highlighting that defensive partners lack malicious intent, whereas narcissists are often intentionally harmful. To wrap up, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jaime offer insights on managing relationships with both no...

May 19, 202411 min

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Navigating Marriage and Divorce With Kate Anthony

Did you know that 69% of divorces are initiated by women? In today’s episode, we’re going to gain insights on why this is the reality. Join Dr. Tracy and guest Kate Anthony, author and host of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, as she shares her expertise on the pivotal decision many women grapple with: "Should I stay or should I go?" Having personally navigated an emotionally abusive marriage, Kate understands better than anybody the importance of creating a safe, supportive environment for ch...

May 16, 202452 minSeason 5Ep. 20

Mini Session 1: Navigating Defensiveness in Relationships with Matthew Frey

In this session, Dr. Tracy and Matthew Frey discuss a crucial issue that affects many relationships: defensiveness. They explore how defensiveness not only creates barriers but also diminishes and invalidates your partner's feelings. Matthew shares a personal revelation from his own life, noting how his failure to validate his wife's experiences contributed significantly to the deterioration of their marriage. He highlights that understanding doesn't require agreement but rather a mindful consid...

May 12, 202410 min

Truth, Trauma and Transformation with Dr. Frank Anderson

In this incredibly important episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Dr. Frank Anderson, a renowned trauma expert and author to discuss the profound impact of trauma on personal development and well-being, as well as insights from his latest book, "To Be Loved: A Memoir of Truth, Trauma and Transformation," exploring the journey towards healing and forgiveness. The two kick things off by highlighting the importance of therapists sharing their vulnerabilities and human-ness to bridge the gap between them and...

May 09, 202449 minSeason 5Ep. 19

From Conflict to Connection with Greg Stewart

This week, Dr. Tracy and her favourite co-host/hubby, Greg, are back and here to tackle one of the most common issues couples face in relationships: why bringing up one problem with a partner often leads to a flood of additional grievances. They discuss why this might happen, identify defense mechanisms and avoidance strategies, and emphasize the importance of understanding and communication in relationships. They introduce the metaphor of a "bridge" between partners and the importance of integr...

May 02, 202448 minSeason 5Ep. 18

The Courage to Choose Yourself with Julie Chavez

In this deeply relatable episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Julie Chavez, an elementary school librarian from Northern California and the author of the USA Today bestselling memoir "Everybody but Myself." Julie opens up about her journey from prioritizing everyone else's needs to understanding the crucial importance of self-care, a lesson learned through her own struggles with anxiety and depression. Together, Julie and Dr. Tracy dive into the transformative power of therapy, the discipline and "...

Apr 25, 202459 minSeason 5Ep. 17

Body Memories and Intergenerational Healing with Dr. Tanya Cotler

Coming to you from Nashville, Tennessee, Dr. Tracy reunites in person with her dear friend Dr. Tanya Cotler, a clinical psychologist specializing in maternal mental health and child-parent attachment. Dr. Tracy kicks off the episode by sharing a recent personal experience of a body memory—a sudden, unexplained emotional outburst she later linked to her childhood. This episode dives deep into the concept of body memories—emotions stored physically that our brains may not recall cognitively—and th...

Apr 18, 202457 minSeason 5Ep. 16

Why Love Isn’t Enough with Matthew Hussey

Is love really all you need when it comes to relationships? In this insightful conversation, Dr. Tracy and Matthew Hussey, renowned love and relationship expert, explore the very real challenges of finding the right person in today’s society. Before diving into the advice and strategies, the two share a candid connection about the ironic struggle they face as "experts" in their field, when really, they are just humans navigating the same love-life struggles as everyone else. Matthew then shares ...

Apr 11, 202445 minSeason 5Ep. 15

Understanding Grief Beyond the Surface with Meghan Riordan Jarvis

Have you ever considered the subtle ways grief touches our daily lives? In today's episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with grief therapist Meghan Riordan Jarvis to unpack the nuanced experiences of grief and loss beyond what we often associate with obvious tragedies, like the death of a loved one. They discuss how grief can sneak into our everyday lives, often unrecognized, and explore the importance of tuning into our bodies and managing our nervous system's response to grief. Meghan, drawing on both...

Apr 04, 202459 minSeason 5Ep. 14

A Couple's Guide to Raising a Highly Sensitive Child Together with Greg Stewart

This week, Dr. Tracy and her favourite co-host and hubby, Greg, dive deep into the heart of what it means to parent as a team, especially when faced with the unique challenges of raising a highly sensitive child (HSC). Through their personal stories and recent parenting experiences, they offer a candid look at the complexities and joys of navigating life with an HSC. They discuss the critical role of teamwork in understanding and supporting their child's intense emotions, while also reflecting o...

Mar 28, 202451 minSeason 5Ep. 13

Transforming Fear into Fulfillment with Heather Chauvin

It's time to get uncomfortable. This week, Dr. Tracy sits down with Heather Chauvin, a renowned leadership coach, TEDx speaker, podcast host, and author of "Dying to be a Good Mother." Together, they tackle the universal challenge of embracing discomfort and leaning into fear. Heather brings a wealth of experience from her own life, sharing how her battle with stage 4 cancer and the trials of motherhood propelled her towards a life of authenticity and courage. She emphasizes the significance of ...

Mar 21, 202454 minSeason 5Ep. 12

ICYMI: Sleeping in Separate Beds with The Mom Room's Renee Reina

Did you know that 1 in 4 couples sleeps in separate beds? In honour of Sleep Awareness Week, we're revisiting the intriguing concept of "sleep divorce," a choice often misunderstood and stigmatized in society. Dr. Renee Reina, a Ph.D. in psychology and host of "The Mom Room," joins Dr. Tracy to debunk myths surrounding this phenomenon. Together, they explore how prioritizing sleep by choosing to sleep apart can actually nurture and strengthen relationships, contrary to the belief that it signifi...

Mar 14, 202452 minSeason 5Ep. 11

The Roots of Codependency: Trauma, Love, and Self-Compassion with Anna Aslanian

Do you feel you put others before yourself in order to keep the peace? In this week’s episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Anna Aslanian to dive into the complex world of codependency, self-sacrifice, and interdependence in relationships. Anna, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a rich background in psychological care, sheds light on the roots of codependent behaviour, often tracing back to early relationships and trauma. Together, they explore the nuances of trauma and debunk the negati...

Mar 07, 202451 minSeason 6Ep. 10

Rewriting the Narrative of Success, Storytelling, and Self-Discovery with Zibby Owens

Zibby Owens is the creative force behind the award-winning podcast "Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books," an accomplished author and CEO of Zibby Media. In this episode, she joins Dr. Tracy to explore her latest fiction work, "Blank: A Novel," reflecting on her multifaceted journey from writing her first article at 14, through her divorce, and into the literary world, emphasizing the therapeutic power of storytelling. Zibby shares insights into overcoming internal barriers and the importance of e...

Feb 29, 202437 minSeason 5Ep. 9
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