Someone’s Getting Their Period…

related to work. And I was like, oh my god, I never thought about it that way, And that is such a great way for me to look at renovating a house. And it's going to take nine months, just like a pregnancy. So when it's over, I'm going to have a baby in a house. What are we doing today? Today, We're gonna be talking about obsession to some degree, people who either can't move on or just a little too into something, or someone a very time movie esque exactly.

Sarah Clona would love this. And we have an update. We have an update from the Gluttonius who was in an episode a couple of weeks ago. So I don't know a lot of people if you listen out of order, will throw back and hear from people that we've given advice to or get updates from. So it's always good to listen to every episode so you kind of know

what we're talking about. And this submission, she had an issue with overeating that she would just go through phases where she would kind of binge and then she would get back on track and you know, feel like she was living a healthier lifestyle. So it's a real pendulum that she just swings one way or the other. But she writes in after hearing us on the episode, and she says, hey, guys, I listened to the episode this morning and heard my submission being read. Oh my god,

have fun and it's not fun. I'm a single mother to a son, and I have never once considered thinking about him as a tool to stop myself from binging. He doesn't see me do it, but has seen my emotional struggle with my weight ging. He tells me I'm not fat and that he loves me no matter what. After hearing my email being read back, I cried. I got the answer I needed. I signed up for Venice Nutrition and I'm going to start my journey and keep you updated. Isn't that nice? I could climax. I could

seriously climax. I mean, oh, this is amazing. And I think it's important to acknowledge here that that episode was not about being thin. It wasn't about losing weight to be prettier or better looking. It was about being healthy. So however that looks to you, whatever that change might be in your life, just to feel better about yourself, just to feel like you're making healthier decisions. And again, whatever we talk about here, you know, take with a

grain of salt, because it's just through two grains of salt. Right. I would like to make a note that there's another great resource for binge eaters and chronic dieters and it's a podcast. It's called Half Size Me with how the Robinson. So she gives you a lot of like good tools for sticking with like new ways of eating and learning to break the cycle of starving and binging. So that's a really good podcast to listen to if you are

struggling with your weight. Well, I mean this is a huge victory, So another problem solved, and I think after that we deserve a break who's our first caller, sweetheart? Well, we have multiple callers today and the first one, her name is Anya. Is it the singer? And yeah. She's a fifty some odd year old female from Florida, and she writes in Dear Chelsea, I'm currently in pre menopause and I'm starting to seriously this is taking a turn. We haven't talked about periods in a long time, so

this is almost like a universe manifesting periods. We also talked about you recently, how I would love for you to go through menopause and how I would love for you to get a period. Hi, Hi, Hi you is it on you? Yes? Okay, Anya, I haven't read your submission, so why don't you just give us an overview what's going on? So back in November I started hearing about Harry Styles a little bit more. That was at the same time, pre mental pause was creeping in hot flesh

is mood, swings, everything, and I started to obsess with him. So, since I'm usually not a stand person, more a modest, quiet admirer, I was wondering if this has to do with the pandemic, pre mental pause and lack of travel, or do I need some serious help with your obsession over Harry Styles. Yes, I think an obsession with Harry Styles is pretty typical for people these days. I think it probably just has to do. Yeah, your hormones are

just probably right in line. It sounds like with a teenage girls hormones because they're also in love with Harry Styles, and so are older women. Harry's has a way with older women. His girlfriend Ollive you a Wild is older, and he definitely likes and appreciates older women. So, I mean, I think your fantasy is it could be because of menopause, but I would think that menopause is when you start

to lose your sexual feelings towards people. You wouldn't gain an obsession, So maybe you're not really even in menopause yet. That could be. Well, that's why I said, like kind of like pre menopause, like Perry menopause, but I think Perry menopause can last for many, many years. But I mean, I think it's good to have an obsession. It gives you something to like masturbate too, if you're into that. It gives you something. Harry is really cute to look at, obviously,

I mean, he's like adorable are you ejecting? Yeah, we should have Harry call into the show. That would be really funny. I have been just dying to see him walk in or out of the building. Yeah, he's funny. He's very funny, Harry Styles. I'm going to actually take a picture of you and send it to him and say that you don't want me to Okay, Well, he'd be delighted to hear that he has another fan in you. If that's even your real name, that is my real name.

All right, well that's great. Look at that crush received reciprocated. So just pretend you're dating him and start telling people, Well, don't do that, but just enjoy it. Just enjoy your new relationship. I'm trying. My son is not happy about it. But oh, I didn't realize that there was a son involved. I'm sure he's probably like, I don't need my mother to be into Harry Styles exactly. Yeah, but your son, he's you know what, this is your private life. Perfect.

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay, thanks, thank you. This is a term that I don't understand all this fucking lingo. But I think Stan is like a super fan. Oh yeah, I didn't know what that meant either. God, sometimes I feel so stupid. I'm like, what I know, I feel so old? Well yeah, yeah right. I also don't like anything trendy, like you hated wheneveryone said, or when people say or anyways anyways. When everyone's saying anyways anyways, it's like, no, it's anyway. There's no s at the

end of anyway. And like, I know, I'm such a stickler, Like it actually makes me irritates the ship out of me when people say that word, because as as soon as they say it, I lose respect for them. I have such respect for you correcting, Yeah, you appreciate, but most people don't want to be correct. I don't want to sound stupid now, but other people don't mind sounding stupid. People don't care, you know, Like I I'm such a stickler for grammar because I didn't go to college obviously,

so I'm overcompensating. But I take it very seriously. Just like last night at dinner, I said to my girlfriends, I used the word platitudinizing, and they're like, uh, not a word. I said, you want to make a bet, and so I just had you look it up on the way in and then set them all the link to the definition of platitudinizing, and you're said, I guess who went to community college for one semester? Me. Do you have a celebrity crusher? Like who has been your

biggest one before you became famous? Was there someone that, like you really loved Bruce Springsteen? I mean I liked them, I didn't love them. I was never like wanted to like sit on bon Jovi's face or anything like that. Like, uh, Simon le bar On from R and A Rand was like big. That was a big deal for me. That was like my first major man crush. I loved him and my sister like Nick Rhodes. Then I had a crush on a famous baseball player, and then I think, yeah,

that that was it. I always liked older men, even when I was like a child, I liked older guys. Which you dated an athlete now, um, yeah, I can see you with the baseball player. Yeah, sure, I'd date anyone, you know how open minded. I just like, I like to keep that out in the open for everyone listening that you are looking and you're ready to receive receive penetration. What is your feeling on people abbreviating things like California.

Nothing makes stach, it makesach annoys or cow so like I like hashtags, I find annoying any sort of anything that you abbreviate, even in text messages, like what does everyone says dead now dead dead, I'm dead or period in the sense is like conversation, but then the conversation is never over. I wish it were. I know so many times people are taking so long for like what could be just a quick transaction, you know, they take it so slowly and you end up talking to someone

from way longer than you need to. What about these people who want to get on a call when it could be an email there is nothing more. Let's let's do zoom send me an email. It will take two seconds, right,

and you'll get an immediate response. I also on that subject matter, don't really like to FaceTime anyone, And I know people really like it, but you have to sit there and hold the phone, like without your air pods in Like when you're on the phone with somebody, you can get a million things done, Like if you have your air pods and still pay attention or stop paying attention, you know, and get a million things done. But FaceTime is really hard. It's annoying for me to like, you know,

it has its time. It comes in handy, yeah, right for brief interludes like when you were in Canada and I would FaceTime you and have shown me how to turn the oven on. Ye, and I would FaceTime your two daughters up there that you've left behind. Fatherhood was good. That was good as a father. I am their father still, So that's why they called me down. And I'm just so happy you don't have kids. If you had kids,

I don't those girls. Are those girls really know? You couldn't And if you couldn't do this job, well, I guess we would have never met Brandon. I don't even want to think about such things. That's just like a bad nightmare, all right. The next submission comes on, and right onto the next mission, it comes from Steve, who is from Chicago. He writes, Dear Chelsea, I had a rough job lost a few years ago, and I'm having a hard time getting over and I can't let go

the anger. What do you suggest move the funk on? Buddy? Tell him that because he's on the phone. Okay, great, sweetheart, Look I'm gonna should I open my movies. Yeah, well he mentioned skiing naked with you, so I don't know if you should do anything to egg him on. Steve, where are you? I'm here, Steve, Hi, we can't see you. Where's your turn your camera on? Alright, Steve, listen, we don't worry about it. I don't need to see you. I can are you. It sounds like you're stuck in

a victim mentality sort of. Yeah. I had a bad job loss about four and a five years ago, and some things were used against me that we're sort of spun in a certain way that maybe look bad, and I never had a chance to defend myself or even explain what had happened. And even though I had the full support of management. It was a job I had pursued for about three years, finally got it, super happy.

I thought I'd worked there for about seven eight years and retire and then, uh, you know, six months into it, that was that Well, what happened essentially boiled down to a woman in the office that sort of hesitated to say this, but I thought I was creepy, and like I said, I had full support, but it got up to the CEO and he said, we can't tolerate this stuff. And my opinion was what do you can't tolerate? What right? And I never got to defend myself my boss, his boss,

and his boss said wrong. But then that was that. Was it against one woman or multiple with well, I don't really know exactly, but I was able to get some details sort of after the fact, and so it might have been. I know there was one specific person that was pushing this, and I also heard from somebody else that the idea was to replace me with someone else in the office who was much younger than I was. Well, that can't feel good to be called creepy. No, it

was horrible, and um, but what are you gonna do? Right? Yeah, so you need to move the funk on because like, that is old, that's history. There's nothing you can do about it. And the only thing you can do is let go. You have to let go of your anger. That is the past, it is behind you, and you just have to focus on having more positive vibes moving forward so that you can secure another job. Do you have a new job? No, So, I've been in the digital space for a long time. It's you know, it's

an extremely young industry. This company was in the movie business. I've been in sales. It was a sales role, and you know my age. I tried really hard to find work after this happened, and I think weren't weren't flowing my way. And so I do printed shirts and apparel for organizations, businesses, et cetera. I've been doing that for quite some time. It's a decent little source of income. But I just started. I started ubering four and neft

years ago and I've been pretty much doing that ever since. Well, that's good. That's something you're bringing in some income with that, right, Yeah, it's sometimes it requires a lot of hours. I was out till three o'clock on Friday and two a month salary. But you can make pretty good money if you push it. Well, Steve, I think you need to give yourself room to grow. And you're holding onto this thing that happened four years ago.

It's not serving you. So it's taking up space. Anything taking up space is not going to allow you to, like, you know, really invest time or energy and to moving forward and whether that be emotionally, mentally or with finding a job. So the longer you hold onto this, it's just gonna hold you back and hold you down. So I think you just gotta sucking throw that out and focus on what you can do moving forward. Yeah, and take pride in your job, like be happy that you

have a job. Some people are starving, you know. Yeah, you're working at uber. You have the ability to work harder to make extra money. These are all good things too. You know, you don't have to hold on to somebody what somebody said or may have said, or may have not said. Somebody may have not even said that about you. You know, that could have been an excuse to replace you with somebody younger. It's just it's irrelevant really to your future. Right, And then all makes a lot of sense.

And you know, I get it, and it's not something that that I hang on to all the time, but it sort of flares up, you know, like a like a thing, a virus. It's it's inside you, you you know, and things will trigger it. So I hear what you're saying, and I know I need to do it. Yeah, but you need some tough love. You need a nudge in the right direction, Like that's just coming from a loving place. You can't just immediately fast forward and have it not

be there. But you can have it come up without it bringing you down, you know, like, you can have it come up so that it diminishes each time it does come up, so that in a year from now, it's not an issue at all. Right, Okay, do you smoke pot here and there? Yeah, well, maybe smoke some more. Enjoy yourself, you know, just enjoy yourself and have a nice time. Okay, Yeah, try and find a girlfriend, you know. Well, then definitely don't try to find a girlfriend. I don't

want to be giving out advice like that. That's that's how we get into trouble around here. So around here in our doctor's office. Okay, Well, good luck to you, Steve, And I'm glad you called. Yeah, sorry about the video. I wish I could have. Yeah, that's okay. Maybe his pants were off and he didn't want us to see that he was exposing himself. Well, we know that all men do, these zooms men. It's just such a disappointment

with the way that they pulled their penises out. I also like to state, though, about Steve's specific situation, is that men have to err on the side of caution now in their interactions. I understand I'm not telling them to go assault a woman. No I'm not. I don't think you are, but like anyone listening, that is the way men have to operate. But they have to assume that you've already been acute. Yeah, that you've already sexually

assaulted someone. Come from that place of apology and reform, because I mean, all men aren't bad, but there's enough bad ones that you've sucked over everybody. So now all men have to pay the price. White men have to pay the price for your advantage taking since the beginning of time. And you can only just say yes, I'm sorry, please tell me more, and I'm willing to listen because we have been man explained to for too long, So

you need to listen to what we're telling you. We want you to succeed, we want you to stick around, but you need to listen. The thing is, it's like, okay, so that guy could have been a creep also, and he could have been in the wrong, and you know, maybe we should have delved into that a little bit further. But even then, I want people to like pick up and move on to a different point, right like, because we all make mistakes and we have to learn from

those mistakes. And people calling you creepy is like you would have to think about that, right, But yes, yeah, we need additional context for some of these we couldn't offer well rounded advice. He still needed to move on. That was well, we're still growing as a counseling couple, so we were growing. We're having growing pains. That was growing pain. That smell of that beef jerky that you're eating is a definite growing pain. It's so fucking gross. It's a turkey. I hate having to eat on a

fucking schedule. I love eating and I can't stop eating. And now we know it gets because do you like truffle? Like the taste of truffle? I love it. This weekend, I think I'm going to make mac and cheese, and there's this truff I don't want anything to do with macaroni and cheese. I know, I know, but I can't right now. I'm at my steep end of things, So no macaroni and cheese for me. This is not I

don't I fucking love. One day in Whistler, when I wasn't skiing because my knee was swollen and hurting, I made myself Annie's macaroni and cheese, the organic. Yeah, and it was just like a vat of cheese and I just ate the entire thing and it felt so cozy and warm, and it was one of those days where I was just like, you know, sitting by the fire. I just love fucking macaroni and cheese. What is that your meditation reminder? Our medications letting me know that your

period is on the approach? No, it is not. It should have a much louder notification of the blaring horn. It's like, get ready, good, ready, there's a count coming down the street. Do you have another caller? I don't know. I wasn't listening. I'm just kidding. Our next submission is from William. He's in his thirties. He is a teacher from California, and he writes, Dear Chelsea, I recently had two amazing dates with the same woman and we really vibed.

We had conversations about another date. We made out, couldn't keep our hands off of each other. She asked if I was looking for a friend with benefits. I said I'd be open to basically anything, and so we decided to just any man. We're open to anything, right, But we decided to keep it loose. We really connected. We both love hockey, we have the same taste in beer, we have the same degree. How many dates? Was this to two dates? But this is where things take a turn?

He said, it's not been three days in contact? Okay, is he there? Well? Are you there? Yeah? I got it working finally, thank you? Yeah, okay, cute beer and I like your face, thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's all that's in the picture right now. But yeah, I like me. It's pretty good too. Okay, well, let's not get carried away. So let's so what happened on the first date and what happened on the second day. Break it down for us. Okay, Like on the first day we met on Bumble, you know, and it's not a

good Is that a good dating site? Because I need my friend Kelly from Whistler to get on Bumble? Well, like, it's good because women get to make the first move and so so it avoids a lot of awkward situations that women have to deal with. Like I have a lot of female friends. They tell me like the horror

stories of you know, Tinder and everything else. But at least there you get ladies get a little bit more of a filtering option for themselves, you know, and it takes the pressure off the guys to make the first move, so it helps out a lot in that kind of way. Okay, bumble is great, you matter or she made the first move then, right, yeah? Yeah yeah yeah, And we got to talking away, you know, like I mean, we were really like into each other and we went out. We're

both vaccinated, so we were like feeling pretty comfy. You know. I was like, I was my first time going out to eat, like in a year. Conversation was rolling the entire time. We had a lot of similarities going on. We kissed. It seemed like we were pretty into each other. What do you mean just kissed, like kiss on the street. Where were you in the car? Like I was walking back to her car, and it's kind of kissed on the way back. Oh that's cute, that's nice and romantic.

Yeah yeah, you know, like that's what I was saying. I thought everything was pretty good there, you know, And then the second date what happened? Well? Wait, so then you how did you get in touch with her for the sex? So you knew leaving the first date you were seeing each other again. Yeah, we were already planning in the second date. Were you thinking though that maybe you would get more than just a kiss on the first date? Like, were you thinking or you didn't even

try to push it. I don't know. I try not to hold any expectations when I when I go on dates. I was cool with whatever happened. You know, we're covering codependent, so like, I'm trying my hardest to slow myself down. I was even trying in the moment. I was like, Okay, make sure you don't get attached too quickly or anything like that. You're a recovering codependent from what you were

codependent with your last partner. I was married for seven years and that was like totally what destroyed our marriage. We were both just totally codependent. It just devolves into this toxicity. Talk more about that, Like, what what do you mean? Can you give us a specific example, because I think I have a lot of people probably feel that way in their relationships. Yeah. Well, you know, for me, my codependency was about affirmation. I needed constant affirmation that

someone loves me. Yeah that's annoying, Yeah, exactly right. Then her codependency issue was mistrust. She just thought I was cheating on her all the time. It sounds like you both had the same problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know we did exactly when we both decided to get help, we just kind of grew apart after that. There was just too much toxicity in that past. Were good. That's good that you moved on. That's good that you're done with that relationship. So you we don't want you to

repeat the same thing the second time. We want you to have success. So okay, so the second date. What happened on the second date? I had reservations for a really nice restaurant in town, but it was outdoors and it started raining, so they had to cancel everything, and I had to reorganize like the entire date, like I like within like an hour, So like I took it down to like super low key, took her to my favorite pizza place, and um, after that, we went to

the drive in. We watched Wonder Woman. Oh, I liked it a lot, But I like Marvel movies more than d C. But that was a good movie. Do you know what that means? He might as well be speaking Japanese, but I know, I know DC and Marvel Arrivals. I do know that. Yes, Well, I was going to do that the Marvel television show at one point, So I did know. But okay, fine, that's yeah, we won't hold that against you. You're a white male, of course you love that ship, so okay. And then so you go

to the drive through. So how did the date end the second night? It ended pretty well. We kissed a few times, we were talking about a third date. And then the next day she was hanging out with some of her friends and she was like shooting me like photos of her brunching and stuff. And I was hanging out with some of my friends and I was shooting her photos of us jamming because me and my friends are all musicians and stuff. Oh by the way, I

know I'm light skinned, but I'm actually Chicano. Well it's just that me and her like that. That's one of our very similar things that we have, is that both of our ancestors come from the original settlers of Riverside. Well, we're not related, you know. Like that. That was like a running joke for a couple of weeks there. It was just like, okay, well, let's make sure we're not cousins. Okay,

so then you're not related. Check that box. That's great to hear, but yeah, okay, So everything seemed to be going fine the next day following the second day, and then she just kind of goes to you like there was no more communication. And in your submission you mentioned possibly writing her attacks to kind of recap, like, hey, sorry if I did something, Sorry if you think you're feeling a certain way, what what happened there, and what's

the status. Well, she told me that she had some stuff going on, but she also confirmed that she was feeling like things were moving too fast. Oh she did say that, Yeah, how did you react to that? When she said that, I mean, like, I'm kind of self aware of you know, that part of me. I was just kind of like, that's cool. I kind of turned you off that that's all right, you know. And she was like, you know, I still want to be friends because you know, we have so much comment and I

was all like, yeah, me too. I wasn't texting her a lot or anything like that. I would just hit her up every once in a while. And then one day on our Instagram, I noticed that she blocked me, and like I was like, oh, okay, I guess I did something. So I sent her another last text and I was just like, hey, I'm sorry if I offended you in some way or anything like that, I'm terribly sorry. And I was just kind of like, I don't I

don't know what I did. M okay. So, and I have a lot of feelings and thoughts on this scenario, But what in retrospect, like being self aware? Are there certain things that you said or did that gay her the impression that you wanted more than she wanted, or that you wanted things to escalate a little bit more quickly than maybe she had anticipated. Like, are there certain moments that you see like Okay, I could have done this differently, or that you'll take into the next interaction

that you will hopefully amend in some way. That's kind of like what I wanted to ask, y'all, what can I do to slow things down? How can I stop this premature excitement? Were you trolling to her on Instagram a lot? Like looking at her stories? If she's not a public person, she could probably look and see who's

watching her stories. It sounds like something happened after they went on the date that turned her off, that she felt like you were all over her or something and liking all of her photos or you know, sometimes girls feel smothered like that, but like, yeah, you should totally take that as an indicator to chill a little bit out, because clearly you kind of for her to block you on Instagram. I guess I know people do that a lot, right,

I mean, well, I'm a friend that blocks people. Yeah, but I think that there were probably things leading up to that signs maybe we're accounted for and like your que car, Yeah, and you're saying it yourself, so that means it's true. Yeah, Like you obviously have something to offer. You know, your you seem kind, you're handsome, you know that there is a problem that you're trying to resolve.

But there are also things that maybe you should be a little bit more thoughtful about in terms of your interactions, Like if you know that this is an issue, implement certain rules for yourself. Like I used to have a two text rule where I would send to an initial one. If I didn't get response, I'd send one more generically, and then if no response, that was it. Like it shouldn't take much more than that. No one should have to get to the point of blocking you. That's what

text too many. Yeah, I think you should subtract to text, maybe just bring it down to one and then slowly built back up to two. That sound advice. Yeah, I like that idea a lot. Yeah. I wasn't rolling around Instagram though, by the way, That's kind of like why I was so shocked, because I was like, anyone right, right, But anyone blocking you on Instagram that should be the end of the interaction completely anyway, Like, don't follow up on that. It's like some breaking up with somebody and

then having to tell them again. So, yeah, next time the person blocks you on Instagram. Hopefully there won't be next time. Hopefully we can nip this in the bud, but if the first time ever. Yeah, you also have to give relationships or interactions room to grow. And I think sometimes what happens is people get so like you get so excited about it. They're just like they invest all in. I do that with friends, and I've seen

the Brandon has no friends because you're friends. For me, it's not the game of like, oh, what sort of friendship dynamic are we gonna have. It's like we're friends or not. And that's kind of that. But in a relationship it's a little bit trickier. Because you have to

temper those interactions. You have to give them space. So if you get to the point where you want to text this girl or not this specific girl because that's wrap on her, but the next one text someone else, like when you go to read true phone to check on her or text her and she's not a message to check on you, message of friend. Like, just apply that energy into another relationship. And there's no point in

like watering a dead flower. So if you can see that it's not blossoming, invest that energy into yourself for someone else. Don't spend too much music, write music or what do you do? You know, play an instrument, that's cool, you know, put your channel and your stuff into that. Someone's gonna love you soon. Yeah you seem lovable. Yeah, you do seem lovable. Thank you, Thank you. I really appreciate that, especially from from Chelsea. Thank you very much.

What about what about Brandan? Yeah, hey, there's no higher there's no higher than a gay guy complimenting. That's very true, that's very true. I just don't know you, but she taste than I do, so it's probably a higher even without it being her. It just has better taste. I have no style so I guess my compliments void. I didn't mean it in the mean way. Sorry, that's okay, fine, we're just giving you ship. No, No, your compliment is totally valid and I appreciate it. Yeah, and also you

do have a lot in common with the person. That's nice, but don't take it too far with that. It's nice that you both have the same heritage, and it's nice that you both like the same beer. But like, those aren't like cosmic signs from the universe. It's just coincidences. So just like, don't take all of it so seriously. You know, I like that a lot. Thank you. Okay,

there's hope, William. Let us know what's going on. I would like an update on your next few dates on what's going on, so keep us posted and just just remember taking slow, like nothing's that serious. Yeah, take things slow. And if I'm in that area and you still haven't met a girlfriend, maybe I can come over and have sex with you. Yeah, well yeah, or maybe even go on a date. You know. Well, I don't think I

need the date part. I mean, especially sounds like you you like to you know, I would be more of a sister transaction for attentions man, I'll save you. The attention is very small, so just stick with the sacks and then it's a it's a win, all right, Okay, I'm taking that win, all right. Bye. But he was cute, you know, Santa Claus cute Chicano kind of way, Like I love that. I love when men have like full faces and beards and are playful. You know, so many

women are like really hard up for a man. So many women really want to be with somebody, They really want to be with a responsible person, or you know, somebody's got a job and it's got their ship together. And you know, I don't know how much she's got a ship together because we didn't get into that. But like I like to think that there's a lid for every pot there and that's why I keep telling you,

we're going to find your lid. Like you're ready for a relationship, and I was ready for a relationship, and I've already changed my mind, so I think I think I'm ready, and I'll never will be ready for a relationship. It all just seems like too much work. And I don't I really only because I'm very bored at this point in my life. When I'm in l A for some reason, I find myself bored. As soon as you got back, you asked how to log into Tinder. No, I want to Riah, and there were some hot guys

on Riya. But I did something wrong with my location, so like I had changed my location in Vancouver when I was in Whistler, and then I never changed it back. So I was missing all these connections. And then there was one cute guy and I was like, are you He had a bunch of pictures of snowboarding and I was like, are you skiing or snowboarding? He said snowboarding and that was the end of that relationship. Grown men on a snowboard. I need a guy who could ski.

It's like Peter Pants and more arrested development, Like get on a set of skis like an adult, and it's so much hotter, Like men's skiing is so much hotter than a guy on a snow Snowboarding feels like younger, like you're clinging to something. Do you when you have an interaction with a guy on a dating app and you're suddenly not into it for one reason or another, do you tell them or will you just stop responding?

Usually just stopped responding, I mean, I don't owe them anything at that point, but I do like to tell people when they do things that annoy me, like that guy I was, I was seeing some guys sleeping with some guy right before I left. When I went Whistler this year in December, and I got there and he and we was cute. We hung out a bunch of times before I left. Was a nice guy. Yeah, met him and then he sent me in Whistler like he made this big thing that he was sending me gift,

that he was sending me gifts. He said it like three times and then asked me if I found it at my door three times, which was also annoying. And then I found the gift and it was a black dildo and I just thought, what why are you sending me a vibrator? Like that's not funny, Like he thought it was funny. He's like, oh, you're gonna love it.

It's like no, not first of all, like I'm not twelve, and don't send me asked me about a gift like a serrious like I thought it was something sweet or sincere, like something like you know, useful exactly, like do you ever use those heated gloves. I got you which heated gloves the heat admits. Yeah, I use them all the time. That's what I skew it. I wondered how they were. Oh yeah, I said. I thought that's a thoughtful kid. Yeah,

that's a thoughtful gifts. I actually got a pair for a for her birthday this year, and then I got a pair for Kelly too, because she didn't have heat to gloves. It's so nice to have your hands warm, so you always default to a heat admit instead of a dildo. Guys, Oh yeah, it's just dildo. It is just such a gross And by the way, I've been sent so many dildos. I mean I got three on my birthday and whistler At got three dildos. So he's

let alone in his idiotic thinking. And then my friend was like, I love this vibrator, and I was like, oh my god, there's nothing more annoying than sitting around talking about viber. You got a fucking vibrator from your facialist. Okay, so that's the next vibrator. I was going to say that I got. Yeah, so Vanessa, who installed my neck with my own blood? Everyone or like, it's all like we're just yes, like we're all just trading like here, why don't you I just don't use vibrators. I just don't.

Maybe I don't right. I think you've said that before, that you're like people of a certain nature. It's like, oh, well, if you don't have someone. I mean, no, I'm not really big on masturbating. I mean you would think actually that I have the time to do it, but so sometimes but not really. Now, I don't know how you could. You always have people of the house. You were either asleep or you have people at the house, So I don't know when you would have time to get about

belt walking. And I'm made jerking off in the middle of that. You. Oh god, Brandon, come on, talk about white privilege. Stop it. I think it's time for me to charge my tesla. We're going to go to a break. Oh sweetheart. Well, I feel like we gave some sound advice today. It sounds like we're going to wrap things up. By the tone of your voice, I think we should.

I mean, I don't know how we could, how we could top William And he doesn't sound like he wants me to, so no, he doesn't want anything to do with you. But he definitely would have sex with me and be funny if I had sex with every drear. Did he remind you of anyone that we know? It's a hardy body type. Yeah. I we don't even know what was going down from the neck down because we only saw him from the neck up, so I can only imagine that his stomach matches his face. Yeah, and

he just seems like a thick, like a hearty man. Yeah. I like that kind of look. I mean, I don't really it's a kind of like a lumberjack look. It's not really my thing, but I'm open to it. You don't like too muscily. I like guys that are like really fit, but not muscily, but like fit so I can handle a little stomach like a little bit of meat. But I don't like when guys are like, you have a big belly, like, I'm not into that. I don't like things flapping. No, you don't like persons right right,

but I do like them as friends. Well, now we know. I just want to wish everybody happy St. Patrick's Day, even though it's nowhere near March. You have no idea when any holidays are because you don't celebrate anything I know that same Patty's Day is Marche and that is not close. Let's just plan on our summer vacation, Brandon, why don't you start figuring out where I'm going to go, where you're going to, where I'm going to, and you

know where I'm going where? Okay, so we have everyone also keep an eye out for Chelsea stand up dates because they're being added now that people are being vaccinated and things are opening up. So she has dates in July and Nashville, which I know off the top of my head. Those are all sold out. So if you're looking for something to do for your summer vacation, you guys are performing all over the place. I'm performing at Humphreys and San Diego. I'm performing at the Santa Barbara Bowl.

I'm performing in Vegas on of Light tenth at the Mirage Santa Barbara Bowl. I think it's August one, and then I'm doing a whole slew of dates all over across the country. So new dates will be added. So I dates right, We just added two new shows. So oh and to my Canadian and brothers insist, well, my that's really where I'm from now. To all my Canadians. I will be touring in Canada. I just have not announced those dates yet. So don't you worry. I will

never forget you. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? You know what, Canadians don't even say fucking They're too polite. My point of that is, We're going to Nashville for your stand up dates at Zany's, which are all sold out. But then I'm going to stay for a few extra days and I'm going to fucking Dollywood. Oh my god, oh my. I wish you could say, but you're going on your family vacation at the same time you are going to climax all day long at that.

So Dollywood's like, is it like an amusements an amusement park. She owns it, and I guess she's there sporadically. I don't know if there's a Dolly calendar for me to check to see, but I'm going to have to get irving on the horn somebody to figure out when she's going to be there. Oh yeah, I'm sure they can help you out with that. Did you watch the Dolly documentary? I started, I haven't finished it yet, but I just

love Dolly. Yeah, I know that like Dolly too. Yeah, everybody, you had a Dolly shirt that you wore a lot until it was fraying. You loved that, you were too so many stand up shows. Finally someone said something, there's like, what is going on? Right? It's just more of a cute shirt though. But I do love Dolly. I love Dolly and I love There's another good documentary on hbox that's awesome. I haven't watched it, but I hear you

have a different appreciation for her. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the way she can move her body, the way she moves like when she was young, starting at well, I mean she still can move her body, but she was like so much older when she made it. She was like it almost you know, fifty when she really hit it without Ike when she left him, so god, Yeah, she was such and amazing performer. Well that's a great

ending note. It's never too late. Doesn't matter how fucking old you are, Guys, get out there and do what you want to do. Yeah, go after menopause like it owns you. I mean, like you own it. You're going to own it. O O bye