Sextuple Threat

tour tour. So I'm very excited because I'm getting ready to go shoot a movie in Vancouver in a couple of weeks, and I'm also performing in Canada, actually at edmund in Edmonton, Canada, at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival on August fifteen. I will be performing in Edmonton and then I go to Santa Barbara and in between then, I'm playing a principle with great shoes who hates children.

I can't wait to be on set with children that I can openly yes, I can't wait till I have to be in a scene where I can just tell children exactly what I think of them, you know, But I can't say in real life obviously that would be really inappropriate and probably punishable. But I can say it as my character, and I plan on exercising that muscle to a great degree. I hope maybe I'll meet a lover on this film. That would be exciting. A child lover can't say that maybe I'll meet a lover on

this film. You've done a few movies. You did This Means War with Reese. My personal favorite, Hop Hop Hop was great because James Marsden and I laughed so hard on the set of Hop. I that's an Easter movie. Yeah, he's really cute. James Marsden, Yeah, he's great. And he and I we had a day of filming where I think I pete in my pants from laughing so hard. And I don't know what we were laughing at, but we could not get it together. And every time we

had to interact, it was a ship show. And we're bonded from that ever since that because we just knew it was like being at summer way camp, sleepaway camp, summer camp. I can line summer and sleep away and said summary, m Anyway, it was sleepaway camp. It was like you know when you come back from camp and nobody really understands the experience that you had except for you and the people that were there. It's kind of

this ineffable understanding. And so I have that with him and yeah, this means war was Reese and I did that movie that was really fun too. They lowered me. I had they had a stunt woman for me because there was a big car scene where my car falls in this big pond of water that we filmed in Long Beach, and I told them I wanted to do my own stunts, but they didn't take me seriously and I didn't do my own stunts. And how does it

work on these sets? Because you've said before that it's hard for you to say other people's lines that they are writing for you. So are you able to add lib Do you have some sort of like creative freedom when you're doing these Are they very stringent on you sang the lines as they're written. Well, I don't know about this movie I'm going into. I guess i'll find out.

But you know, when you add a little button or you change a word around to the time, they don't really care unless it's like something that needs to stick to. If they're sticklers about it, I will, but I'm yeah, I'm not very good at that. I like to improv and just kind of do it off the cuff. But if you run a scene a couple of times you kind of memorize it. So you did Will and Grace, and they were very specific. Will and Grace was a disaster.

I yes, that is a very tightly run ship. And I was and I don't know what was wrong with me that week. I could not remember my lines. I was scared and nervous. I went in not caring about doing it really like kind of flip it, like oh, this will be fun. I didn't really think about it. And then I got in and I'm like, wait, wait, I'm working with a bunch of pros. I need to step it up. And then I was just too late. By the time we filmed it, it was great, but I I mean, I was yelled at. I was They

were like, what learn your lines? I couldn't hit my jokes. It was bad. Luckily, on tape it did come together because Deb Messing and Sean Hayes and everyone was so nice to me and felt so sorry for me that they helped me memorize my lines. When that happens, does does it make you want to flex that muscle more? After you had that experience, some people would shut down and say I don't want to act anymore. That was very unpleasant. But for you, I feel like when that happens,

your reaction is to be better. Well, oh I needed and now I need to get another acting role to prove to myself that I can do this well, not as I mean, I was just embarrassed, Like I walked in like the cool girl and left like the not cool girl. It was how it happens. You know, everyone is excited for me to be there, and then I just kind of fell apart of the seams. I must have been going through a very difficult time at that moment. I don't remember what was going on, but something must

have been because I was not myself. But anyway, no, I was done with that, and I just thought, oh, I can't do sitcoms. I can't like hit the marks like this, like I can't do it. And then I'm like, of course I'll do it a sitcom again, if it's the right thing, or if it's the right role, or if it's a guest star. You know, I'm not going to be honest sitcom sitcom. But if it's that, yeah, I mean, it's just a different beast. But this is film acting, which is not live, Like you're not in

front of an audience, so it's a lot different. You're in front of a film cruise, so there's a lot more intimacy. Well, this role makes sense for you. At one time, you were offered the role of Aunt Hilda or Aunt Zelda on the Netflix Sabrina the Teenage, which they wanted you to come in for that, and I remember reading the script thinking, how would she ever take this seriously because it was so far fat. Well, you know,

it's magic. So anytime you read something like that, you're like that, you're gonna really have to stretch to make this believe. Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to be in a movie just to be in a movie, Like, I'm not going to just do that, but I am going to say yes to things that are fun. And you know, this idea of being on a movie set right now, I haven't been on one in a really long time, and it's not my main thing, so it's a nice it's nice to kind of be able to

incorporate that with all the other stuff I do. It's nice to change it up. So I'm looking forward to it. And you know, obviously it's shoots in Vancouver, which I've said before, which is my favorite place. In the world is Canada, and I just can't wait to be reunited with all of my girlfriends there. It's going to be magical, and they're going to have to be on set with

me as my hair, makeup artist, stylist. I don't know what other things I can punch them in for, but well, it's nicely you have these different creative outlets now, so you're gonna be acting. You're redoing a house, You're playing construction worker, interior designer, wearing multiple hats, wearing multiple hats. I mean, I'm really a jack of all trades, you know what I used to call myself. It's kind of like David Hasselhoff. He was a lifeguard, he was a musician,

and he was a night writer. He was a triple threat. I am a lifeguard. Also, I'm not a night writer. But I have a podcast and and I do stand up wait, and I am doing movies. So I'm a quadruple threat. Wait, and I write books. I'm a quintuple threat. What else do I do? I don't know, But I don't know the next term for six things? Do you? Let's just stop at five? Well, great, I do think it's a good idea. To stop there because we've got some keys your favorite. Excuse my swallowing, Yes, Okay, I'm

ready for a quickie. Okay, the first quickie is Dear Chelsea, OMG, fucking cats. I loved your discussion at the end of McDonald's Anyone, and had to validate Brandon on his cat issues. I'm spending to renovate my basement for the second time in four years because I have two cats and one will only pe on the base boards, not in the litter box. I feel like I've tried every suggestion out

there for it to stop. I feel like I've given the cats an excellent life, and anyone else would have given up on this peing cat by now putting it down or sending it back to the shelter where it came from. I think I could bring myself to put the peing cat down, but my husband says absolutely not, and is willing to put us all out on the street for this cat. What should we do, Love, Kelly?

I mean, I think cats are your department. Brandon. Well, if you've tried everything, it's hard to say what else you could do, because I don't know what all that has entailed. There are a lot of sprays that you can put on the area where a cat has been urinating. In our house, we use diffusers. We have one in every room. We have a multi cat and they are supposed to calm. They're supposed to help cats to stop

sport multi cat. The diffuser is for multiple cats in a home because a lot of times that is why a cat is spraying to you know, obviously markets territory. So we have these diffusers through the house that let off the pheromone of like a mother cat, and so it's supposed to help keep them calm, help them stop scratching, stop spraying, And we have not had any issues. The only time that we've had a peeing issue is when we bring them back from being boarded. It is very unpleasant.

What is spraying exactly that like like climaxing kind of They back their butts up against the wall and just spray all over the wall to let you know they are here and this is their spot. How did they get it on the wall? Though cats spray, I don't understand how it cats. It comes out vain well. I think the hole is right under the butt hole, yeah there, and their tail shakes and they just spray. Sometimes it's

a lot of pace. Sometimes it's a little pe. But it's just they'll go around in a little spirits different areas. I feel like Bert does that. Bert sprays, Oh, but I think of it. Well, tell me I don't know my son, and I'll tell you that I do. So I don't know, Kelly. I don't have any good advice to you other than if you've not tried those diffusers.

They have been great in our house. Something else, Kelly, is if you're cleaning your baseboards and using bleach, cats are attracted to the bleach, so I know that that can be a source for their spraying as well. So just maybe take a look at the cleaning products that you're using and if they have ammonia in them, cats are attracted to that and can mark in those places. Yeah. Sorry, this isn't like Yeah, I mean we have an in

house cat specialist. It. I don't have any advice for you because I don't really know anything about cats and I'm not interested in learning. I hope your pe problems stop. The next quickie says dear Chelsea, I need some advice regarding my nightmare of a sister in law. She is straight up a total bitch and goes out of her way to make it known that she doesn't like me. I have a one year old son, and when she holds him in plays with him, it makes me feel uneasy.

My baby daddy and I are getting married, and I have serious anxiety about being forced to include her in my bridal party. I come from a Catholic, traditional Mexican American family and feel like everyone will think I'm a trader and petty person if she isn't part of the bridal party. Do I have to include her? Christina, No, she doesn't get invited to be a part of your bridal party because of her behavior and because she's made you feel uncomfortable and not welcome. So that's very simple

and straightforward. And you can say that kindly or you can say it like, hey, you've been mean to me. I don't want you in my bridal party. Sorry, that's it. I mean, I'm sure there's two sides to this story, but since you're writing in you know I I would say that in a nice way, but I also think you have all license to say that in a like forceful way. There's no reason to scream or yell about it, but you can be like, I'm sorry, this is just unacceptable for me, Like you don't make me feel good.

This is my wedding day. It's the most important day of my life, and I want it to be pleasant. So there's yeah, no, don't stand for that, and don't put yourself in a situation where you're not going to feel loved and happy and celebrated on your wedding day. Period. Okay, And the next one says, Dear Chelsea, my x is nineteen and I'm twenty one, and I recently realized that I actually like his brother Moore, who is twenty six. What should I do? Should I follow my heart's desire?

I don't think so. I think you stay away from brothers and sisters people unless it's the love of your life that that they had that storyline in Malibu Rising, this book I just read, and I don't appreciate that. I don't want to have sex with anyone my sisters have had sex with, and I certainly don't want to have sex with two brothers. So I just don't think that's good. You know, It's like, are you in love with him or do you just have a crush on him?

If you have a crush on him, you'll get another crush on somebody else sooner than you think, Okay, we're going to take a break right now. Well, uh, I don't know what's going to happen, but you're gonna hear an ad break. I've read this book that talked about being like open and shut. You know, when you're open to a person, when you're open to them, when you're open to a new idea, or when you're like being adventurous and you're being open. When you say no to

new things, you're shutting down. And then that's a whole other kind of space that you don't want to be in. So you had a good result with this where you felt like you were pushing someone pushing, pushing because you were just exhausted, and you're like, as soon as I let them in, the amount of energy I was putting into it was totally different. Yes, right, right, that's true.

I had a friend who wanted to hang out a lot, and I was like, you know, not that into it, and but she was an old friend and so I did. But I was resisting it, resisting, and I didn't want to deal. I didn't want to deal. And then I did, and it was so easy, and it was just like, you know, two hours of my time was for her. She needed and wanted, and I just had to like give in and do that. You're putting so much energy into saying no to things that sometimes it's easier to

say yes to them. Unless it's a sexual account. You can never be pressured to say yes to that. Okay, does everybody hear me means no, my body my choice? Oh I learned a cute dance about my body my choice. Uh no, don't touch me there. This is my no no square. No, don't touch me there. This is my no no square. So say that if someone comes up to you at the bus stop, that's gonna be great content of you for TikTok, I think, Oh, okay, yeah, yeah,

that's a good idea. Thanks thinking, all right, So, dear Chelsea, looking for advice on how to safeguard my emotions. I just had a fight with my partner because I've been feeling sad about numerous life events and it's all sort of come crashing down today. The sadness lingered, and overall he was there, but not in the way I need him to be. I came to realize tonight it's because he doesn't want my sadness to affect his good energy. He impulsively bought a three night streaming concert ticket to

one of his favorite artists. Are you okay? Yeah? Sorry, I've had to seizure concert take it to one of his favorite artists while this discussion was happening. But where does this leave us? When one of us is sad and can't seem to pull themselves up, and the other is doing their best to stay happy and doesn't want to risk your feeling of sadness? How can you be there for someone and not let them quote unquote harsh your mellow? I hope this makes sense. What's her name,

Caitlin Brandon? Would you like to take the lead on this or shall I? I think you should start with this one. Okay, Well, first of all, what's her name again? Caitlin? Caitlin? This is gonna be a problem because you know how bad I am with names. Ever since I accused of my friend of not remembering names, and I haven't been able to remember anyone's Caitlin. No one is responsible for your emotions but you. So that's the first thing. You

cannot expect your partner to keep you emotionally afloat. I understand you want him to comfort you and to be there for you in a way, but like that is an inside job, that's your job. So as a partner, you can only be there so much for your partner as well, Like he should be buying tickets to the concert. You guys should be do in your own things to make yourselves happy and then worry about how you're going to come together and make each other happy. But you

cannot expect somebody else to put you in a good mood. Yeah, you can't allow someone to provide you your happiness. And I've been in a long term relationship, so I understand this dynamic. And I think as long as your partner is acknowledging how you feel, like, hey, I get that you're sad, I understand the reasonings behind it, that is really all you can expect of them. Because you're not living the same life. You're going through things separately, Like

he's internalizing this pandemic differently than you are. And as long as he's doing that and not making you feel like you're not being heard or seen in your emotions, you can't rely on him for much. More in that, like, you have to be able to pick yourself up from whatever point you're in. And there's also nothing more unattractive than managing another person's emotions. Right, this came up with

us even though I was wrong. I thought you were sulking about something that I said, which was not true because it's about the house and it has nothing to do with you. But anyway, I didn't like something in the house and I told Brandon, and Brandon didn't respond, and I thought he doesn't he's taking it personally, and he wasn't. But it goes back to the point of

managing other people's emotions is so fucking exhausting. Having to walk on eggshells around somebody because they're going through a hard time or not saying the right thing, knowing that you disappointed them and then trying to redirect your attention in the right way to make them feel heard or

seen can be an exhausting endeavor. So it's like, be careful about that too, and have realistic expectations of your partner as well, because if you are both going through things, which from your letter you understand that he is, like he probably needed this outlet to just watch his music, whatever the funk it is, zone out for a little bit. You as a partner should also want to give him that time and let him have his three days whatever

it is. You know, there are other people in your life that you also can leverage, like a girlfriend, a family member, someone else to confide in or talk to or just get out of the house with. Like you, no one person can provide you everything you need, So assuming that your partner is going to be there for all of your emotional roller coaster. Yeah, and also assuming that your partner should be doing what you would do is irrelevant because you're not the same person. Your whole

set of experiences, your childhoods are different. Everything leads to a different human beings. So you're two separate individuals. So how on earth can you expect him to behave in the way that you would behave? Like, it's just that doesn't make sense when you really break it down. Well, okay, and so for this specific example, for me reading this, I would have tried to use that concert to pull myself out of it, like, be excited for him that he got that watch it with him. You know, there

are other ways to retrain your brain. Yeah, when you're emotionally yea, it's emotionally distressed to say, oh, let me embrace this moment or embrace his decision making, flip the switch on it. Because yeah, I agree with that. There's more positive ways to look at everything. And I think that we you and I have both had that in different ways with work or personal where people have had to say, like, look at the positive things that are happening, don't focus on the one thing that you wish you

could change. Yes, yes, that happens a lot where I'll be like bitching to my manager about something. I'm like, well, you know, and she'll be like, wait, why are you focusing on that? You're focusing on the thing that you don't want to do instead of all the things that you do want to do or the one thing that you didn't get with all these things other things that you do have. So that's always a good reminder for me because I can get on that like little victimy

pity party sometimes. I mean I used to do that a lot growing up, and obviously I'm trying to shake that habit, but yeah, I can get negative and it's like no, no, no, you can't. Getting negative is just reads more and more negativity. Yeah, you acknowledge it, you accept it, and you move on and then maybe give your boyfriend or husband a blow job I don't know, and it in on a high note for him, right, Sorry? Yeah, well let us know how that works out for you,

all right? So I think we hit that one out of the park. Tie five on that. So this next one is just writing from Nikki. She says, Dear Chelsea, your recent special evolution fucking slade me such vulnerability and truth. Here's my question. I like drugs, I like alcohol. I'm not dependent on either. I'm a mom, a corporate citizen, and an anxious, depressed mess trying to hold life together while battling for custody and dealing with the day by day. Forty is around the bend, and I want to make

changes and actual growth. How do I do this without the bullshit and what we'd edibles, etcetera? Do I take? I finally just got approved from my medical marijuana card in New Jersey. I want to be creative, energetic and freethinking who I was before all the bullshit and rage set in. Send me your advice. Well, this is good news because she's not even forty yet and so she I'm forty six. I just turned forty six this year and I didn't even get my ship together until I

was forty, So you're right on track. I mean, what state does she live in? New Jersey? Yes? Okay. As far as edibles go, like she didn't she say she's going through a custody battle. Yes, okay, So obviously you want to be alert for that during the day, right, you want to be like on your game, So if you're dealing with something like that, I would use edibles at night for if you want to hang out with your girlfriends and you just want to laugh your ass off often be silly, or for sleep if you have

any trouble sleeping. And as far as creativity, yeah, you want to use them when you have time set aside to be creative, like if I'm going to write a chapter in a book, or if I'm going to write some stand up material, like I'll set aside two hours and I will take the weed that I think is

going to help me get there. As far as the actual brands and types, it's different state to state, so I can't recommend any brands, but I can tell you about strains and like, you know, a lot of the labeling that they now have on all of this cannabis will tell you the kind of mood that you can

expect to get from it. It's it's not a guaranteer of that, but you know it'll say creative or you know, easy breezy or chill vibe, which you know obviously isn't going to be something that's going to keep you up. Sativa is also something that is supposed to give you more of a kick than indica. It's indica is supposed to put you to sleep. I feel like those two terms to describe weed are kind of over even though

they're still labeled like that. I think there are so many more nuanced ways to describe it because there's so much more than taking the edge off or giving you energy. But you just have to do your research about what's available in your state and also really just start with micro dosing. I don't know if you want to smoke weed or not, but if you are smoking it, I would just smoke a little bit just to see how

it affects you. And you know, sometimes when we like a new thing, I always make the mistake of overdoing it and doing it all the time, and like with weed, it's very easy to get in the habit of just like because you once you see the effect, you're like, oh, I'll take another edible in three hours, and then I'll take another one of three. It's really about minding and being mindful of how your body is reacting to the medicine, right, and cannabis is medicine. It grows out of the earth,

it's like from mother Nature. So it is medicine, and so you should think about it that way. And when it has a nice effect in you, like when you're trying out strains, make sure you just make a note or take a picture with your phone of all the ones that you have a good time with and a good experience with. But don't overdose yourself. Just start very minimally, start with two and a half milligrams or five milligrams. Do not go beyond that until you understand what you

like and how you like it. Would you add anything onto that? Brandon, I mean, the only thing from her write and was I would kick the alcohol. I mean, at this point, like, what is it really doing for you? It's a down or it makes you blow. I would say, if you're looking for a major switch, that is that is good. I would also say you don't have to think about it as like eliminating alcohol from your existence, because I'm sure you think that takes the edge off.

I know for me personally, pot does a much better job of taking the edge off than alcohol. But alcohol still has a very special place in my life. So even if you just minimize your alcohol and take for the week and just try using cannabis instead of the alcohol, and that transition alone will put you really in touch with the way your body is feeling. Plus, when you're trying cannabis, you don't want to be under the influence of other things because you're not going to be able

to identify what the cannabis is doing. Well unless she said that, she is an anxious, depressed mess, and so for you telling her like the two point five micro dos of a mint or or of some sort of edible, like sometimes you don't even know that it's working. You think, oh, I need to take another, but it is. That's the other thing. You have to give it two hours. And sometimes people like I don't feel anything, I don't feel anything, and then they take more. And that's a mistake until

you have experience with it. You don't want to augment any anxiety or any reaction, like you know by thinking, oh, this isn't affecting me, I'm going to have to take more that That's not a good solution. That's for a very advanced users like myself, who can take a hundred milligram edible and go to lunch. I can take a lot of things and go to lunch. But I'm a very rare case and i have a very strong constitution, and I've also had a ton of training, So I

would definitely air on the side of experimenting. You are a beginner in the world of cannabis and you are experimenting, and nothing that I just told you about five milligrams is not going to make you go over the edge. Like these are micro dos for a reason, So there's a whole new world of cannabis now. But yeah, I would lay off the sauce for a while if you can, or like limit to drinking one night a week. Also

be excited entering forty. These are like where things can really already divorced, and most people have to go through their divorce when they're in their forties, So check that box. Thank you, NICKI for writing in Thank you, Niki. So our next emission comes from John. He's fifty eight. We don't know where he's from, but he says, Hi, Chelsea, trying this out for the sake of sound advice. I'm a fifty eight year old married man to a beautiful

sixty two year old female. We've been married for almost ten years. We are both fit and used to be sexually active and still try to be intimate, but my wife is going through some changes and we haven't been able to have intercourse because her vagina, for the lack of a better term, has shrunk. She consulted her doctor and he gave her a cream to apply to try and loosen things up, but it doesn't seem to work from her perspective, and of course it is not my priority.

I love sex, but she feels broke if we can't have sex. She's tried to force herself on me, and it hurts to see her in pain, so I end up pushing her back. I've discussed options with her, and she says she'd be willing to try and go to a toy store to find something to help our sex life in lieu of intercourse. It seems to go nowhere, and I'm trying to figure out if we just need to be celibate for now. Yeah, obviously you need to be celibate for now. I mean, why are you torturing

each other? He's like, I don't care about sex. I don't care about sex, but it's always talking about I know. But just leave her alone and go smoke some weed. She's in pain to have sex and her vagina is shrinking, but she's trying to engage, So then he should finger blast her. Well, there you go. I mean we don't compromise that. Yeah, if sex is painful, then try a finger blast. You can start with one finger and if things go well at another. I love when we can

wrap these up very neatly. So John, there you have it. Just finger blast your wife, quick and easy. Thanks for writing in poor John for eight year old John. He wanted a sex with Sue very specific way to alleviate this pain, and you gave him finger blast your wife. It was perfect. They need some of the relaxation techniques are weed Mom from earlier is using They really do all our last submission comes from I like the voice you use when you talk about submission. You know, all right,

this is the It's like the love boat. Rob Reiner was in a movie where he played a radio host. In his voice, I wish I could emulate. It was just so soothing. He's got that jew uncle funcular voice. I am Jewish, low and behold. Once we found out my mom's adopted, and we found her birth mother, and I'm Jewish. How convenient for you. I'm Jewish on the right side. It has me the mom's side, right, yeah, it does. I'm not Jewish on the right side, so I'm not even a real Jew even though I'm a Jew. Wow,

you better better now, all right. Our last submission comes from Shannon B. Fifty out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She says, Dear Chelsea, here, I am suddenly fifty years old, married with one teenage girl. I worked two days a week as a law firm receptionist, and I'm bored. I don't want to look for just any job yet. I want to do something cool and make a ton of cash. I'm a big Instagram fan and I see all these

influencers raking in the dough. I'm shy in reserved, so I'm a little scared to put myself out there on a social media platform like that, but I'm willing to do it for the right project. I just want to make money fast, none of this working ten years ship to make the first big buck. I can do just about anything, and I'm willing to do just about anything. Basically, I'm a fifty year old approaching menopause who is finding herself stuck in life. What do you suggest? Oh? Fuck, Brandon,

what do we suggest this? I mean, Shannon, are you there? I'm here, Hi, Shannon, Hi, Hi, Hi guys. All right, Shannon, what's going on? We just if you should whore yourself out on social media to make a quick buck, right, yeah, I mean why not? Everyone else is right, but it's so hard if you're shy, and but I feel like if everybody else can do it, I can do it. I just don't know how to do it. Shannon, It's

never too late. Look at all these moms on TikTok making a living getting brand endorsements just for being themselves. Just lean into the shyness. You're not that shy because you called us like that's not a shy thing to do. That's cool, But I'm scared and very nervous and shaking. Oh well, who cares about that. You'll be fine in a while, But yeah, lead into the social media of it. Why not in cash in so you don't have to work in an office job. I mean, did you say

you working? Are you a paralegal? Is that I work in a law firm. I work at the front desk. Firms are depressing. I know that for sure. It's it's a lot, and I do their billing, so it's like, yeah, it's like boring on top of boring, how waring can you fucking get? My sister was a lawyer, and my sister was a health attorney and she worked at this like small firm in Morristown, New Jersey, and she was like, this is soul crushing and I was like, well, so

is your marriage. But you're still in that. And so she left her marriage and her law firm and now she works in health law in a different way. But she made a big change in her life, not when she was fifty, right before she was fifty, and she's real happy about it. It's not the same as social media, but like, I think your attitude towards social media it should just be like yeah, whatever, I mean, that's what everyone's doing. Do it. But also I'm in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Like there's no like I have like two followers. I mean there's like, no, there's no buts the That's the great thing about social media is it doesn't really matter where you are anymore. Everyone is connected, everyone is accessible online. And some of these people that have the biggest followings are in bum fuck nowhere, like I'm from plat South Dakota population someone there could do it. You just keep posting. What you got to figure out what your stick is? Like,

what is your stick? Are you? Like? What's your thing? Are you going to be a TikTok mom? Are you a dance? Can you dance? Okay? Well, then maybe you can make fun of them. You can be like, listen, this is how unlike this I am. You know, maybe that's your that's your vibe. It's a hard one. And if it's not social media, what is it? You know? Only fans only fans only. I could probably answer that,

but I thought you guys could shed some Really. I wish I had better advice for you, but I would just say, like taking a leap of faith in general, even though that's really lacks besifitsit, taking a leap in general. I think it's a good practice to have as an adult woman, especially when you're fifty. You need to kind of reboot, right, like to be like, yeah, well, and Chelsea, you've taken multiple risks in your career. You're not fifty yet. I'm not fifty, but you've taken risks in your career

and they've always worked out or benefited. You've either learned something or grown from it. So it's the same thing. Just take the leap, try it out. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but you're not out. And don't limit yourself to social media because that was just like an idea put out there for no reason, Like, don't limit yourself to that. There are other ways to make money quickly, like with the Internet and like buying and selling things trading.

People get into that rather easily. It seems like there are a lot of different Like you know, bitcoin, Go get some bitcoin, like that's going to pay off. Become a day trader my bitcoin. I got bitcoin about four years ago and bitcoin me neither. I'll never understand what the bitcoin is, but I know that I'm making money. Okay, you're looking at me. I can't tell you what it is. Either you were going to check my coin base. I

have the information, Shannon. Let us know what you figure out, Let us know what you try, what works, what doesn't. Please give us a post. Okay, yeah, just do something though, Okay, make a change, all right, Thank you, Thank you Shannon, Bye, Shannon, Bye, guys bye. Anyone who wants to make a later in life change, well people have. This is what we're dealing with. We're realizing people don't have balls. They need more balls. They need that nudge. They need people to say, hey, hey,

fuck go jump because people will retreat. Well, that's why they need you, because most people are not courageous. Right, People need to be re operate from that place. But I think people in general would benefit from being a little bit more courageous, not arrogant, courageous, right right right.

You know what her question about confidence and arrogance makes me think of an update we just got from a RAM And if you remember a rom she is the woman suffering from body dys morphia and an eating disorder, and she wasn't sure whether or not to tell her friends and family about her recovery. So we're gonna take a quick ache and when we come back we will give you a ROMs update, so again for anyone listening.

We spoke to a rom during our McDonald's Anyone episode which had marked the nutritionists on, and she sent over a little updates. So I just wanted to oh, this is exciting. Oh my god. It's so exciting when people we have like such good patients because they come and then they return to give us an update. I love progress reports. Well, Aram says, Hello Brandon and Chelsea. I'd say that overall I'm doing well, and although recovery from anorexia has its ups and downs, I'm improving every day.

I took Chelsea's advice and some of Brandon's with a caveat. Brandon and I talked about how it could be a good idea to open up to more of my loved ones about my eating disorder and body dysmorphia in order to get more support. I found this to be difficult because many of the people in my life unwillingly have fat phobic pro diet culture beliefs. I mean, just the other day, my grandma bitched at my grandpa, called him a glutton for eating half of a watermelon, which is

sucking insane because watermelons are water. So I decided to take Brandon's advice, but with a lateral step. I picked a few of my most level headed, thoughtful, and honest loved ones and asked them their opinions on things like body image, confidence, and the roll of food in their life. I feel like people gave me much more honest and thoughtful answers than they would otherwise had they known about

my eating disorder and body dysmorphia upfront. I think had I told them about what I was struggling without right, they would have felt more compelled to filter their opinions and tiptoe around me in an effort to not trigger and offend me. And as far as Chelsea's advice goes, and Chelsea, do you want to remind me? Yeah, yeah, I remember. Just to remind everyone, she asked us if she should tell her closest friends. She wanted to tell her closest friends. I think she was ready to do that,

and then you said it. So she was the one who brought that question. It wasn't like your advice. You just said confirmed it, you know. So she was like so, But also I think I told her that this is her situation. She has no one to rely on really in this instance for this problem but herself, like, you can gather your support around you, but it is your decision to change your life. It is your decision to make a move. So I think that's pretty much what

I told her. Well, so she says, as far as Chelsea's advice goes, I was able to use it and build on it. For the most part, I can't really rely on anyone else when it comes to this disorder, and at its root, it's a problem that I have with myself. Chelsea said that this is not going to be the narrative of my life, and she's right. So I have to take the toxic narrative that is currently occupying my thoughts and change it into one that is healthy.

My focus the last few weeks and months has been on diving into why I have so much self hate, what cognitive and behavioral habits I have formed around the self hate, and how my psychologist and I are working on undoing them. For example, in the past, I would pedestalize and glorify certain types of bodies while degrading my own. What I started doing instead is actively viewing all body

types as neutral and equal. To one another that woman is not superior for having a flat stomach, or you are not inferior for having bigger thighs, or that person is not inferior superior for having X, Y or Z. And doing this, I've begun to view my own body and other bodies with a little bit more indifference as opposed to an immediate, toxic opinion or judgment. I love what she said. That's so important. Inferior superior. We always

do that. You know, whenever you're judging somebody, you're thinking that you're better or smarter, or prettier or whatever. If you're judging somebody that didn't do something the way that you would have done it, you're like, well, I know better. So there's superiority in that. Anytime we're judging others, we are acting superior or inferior. So she spelled it out, and she is on her way to a brighter day.

I think, well, she wraps up saying so, given this advice and working on a racing self hate, A follow up question I have is regarding confidence in general. What makes a person confident in themselves? How do you form it, how is it maintained? When does confidence turn into air against Thanks so much, guys. Arom Arrogance is when you think you know better or you think you are better. It's a lot to do with it has a lot to do with superiority. So arrogance and superiority are linked

in my mind. And to instill confidence in yourself, it is a conversation that you have to have with yourself, either through meditation or positive affirmations. There's no reason to not be confident. You know, you have to be confident in the abilities that you have and in the ways that you are able to change your life. And making this change is going to work towards instilling more and

more confidence in you. You've already begun the path to get more confident, because once you realize that you are powerful enough in your own life to make changes, then the confidence comes because you're like, oh, wow, I just did that. I just changed my life. Wow. And so arrogance is just when you're an asshole about being confident. You don't have to do that. Eloquently put well, eloquent is my middle name, or lae ease or joy actually joys my middle name. But you know, I don't want

to tell everybody about that. People just expect too much. Brandon, what are our takeaways from today? I feel like painful sex is no boy. No, that's no good. Nobody wants to be in pain during sex. It's supposed to be the complete opposite unless you're into pain, you know, and some people are. I kind of like it a little bit rough sometimes, you know, if I'm with somebody that I really like, like, I like it if they man

handled me a little bit. I know that's out of style, but I do like a little bit of Like I like to be dominated in sex. I don't like to be the dominator. It's no fun. Well, it's good to know what you like. Yeah, it is good. It's good. I'm so there's so many straight men listening to this podcast. I'm sure. So that's great. And on that note, I guess I'll just look for d m s in my Instagram. I'm gonna have to scroll through them, and it's very unsettling.

But a lot of guys talk about want to put it their cocks in my asshole and that they want to fuck me and come on my face. So I mean, there's a lot of opportunities out there, and that's why we're gonna have to wrap things up because I gotta get back out there, guys. Oh yeah, yes, slide into my d MS. Also, I am on tour. My tickets are officially on sale. We've added a couple of extra shows. We're going to be announcing dates as we go. You can buy tickets a ticket Master for my shows. I'll

be playing my next big show. I'm at the Santa Barbara Bowl August one, so you can come see me there. And then I have all the other cities that I have already released and tickets are available and I can't fucking wait. It's called vaccinated and a horny, So make sure that you bring your vaccinations and your horny nows and then keep them to yourself. Please, if you want any assistance with your partner, your best friend, really, anything, you can write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.

Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.