Killing the Hour with Chelsea’s Trainer Ben Bruno

a few. There's also some Floridian dates in there, since this will be my last year that I'm able to go inside the state of Florida. So check out Chelsea Handler dot com for more stand up dates for my Vaccinated in Horny Tour. These are my last dates. Okay, hello Catherine, Hi Chelsea. Oh my god, I am fresh as a daisy. I'm so glad. I had a big photo shoot this weekend and I had to really nail

it down, which was not hard at all. I actually enjoyed the week of preparation because I had been on vacation for base only a month and drinking obviously a lot, and eating whatever I felt like. Actually, no I'm pretty good when I'm my vacation, I don't go off. But anyway, I had to get my act together for this photo shoot that will be coming out soon. I won't say what it is for yet, but everyone's going to find

out because it'll probably be a pretty big campaign. But I love having to get ready for something because that's the only reason I would just get it. Like I came home for a week hunkered down. I'm like, on my program, no drinking, no bada. I have been smoking pot, but I'm not supposed to be smoking pot at all because of my situation with my vocal cords. But I decided to give myself a treat and I started a new endorsement deal, also a brand partnership deal with a

company called leisure Town, which is a cannabis drink. So you will be getting a full supply of that because it has the lowest amount of sugar. It only has four grams of sugar. It's calories and they're light, so you can get CBD or you can get th HC, and the th HC version only has two point five milligram of th HC. So yeah, I'm going to bring you a kid. I love that. Absolutely, that's so exciting

to see. I'm somebody who works the deadlines too. Like if I have something that I know is coming up, like I can get it done, I can make it happen. But like I need that sort of motivation that impetus to like here's what I'm aiming for. Yeah, you know, yeah, absolutely I need a deadline as well. If they left to my own devices, I mean I would just basically sit on my ass and it smoked pot with Bert and just stare at him until the taco arrived. I

love it. He likes Spot a little bit more than Bernice. Well, he's like a pothead, you know. That explains his laziness. They're so sweet though, since I haven't been there, they love me now and they come in my room at night and they're both on the floor and then Bert looks at me in the morning like when are you going to feed me? And I'm like, oh, honey, I am going to feed you. Actually, because when I'm home now, I take their feeding more seriously because I'm wanting to

know that I too love them. I'm just not that interested in sticking around their way, right, and like the food comes from you when you're home, not my bell and yeah. Well, we have a quick follow up from one of our callers. This is from Quinn, who called in on our episode with Ashley Graham a few weeks ago. She had sort of wanted to know if she should lose weight before getting into the dating scene. And she says, Hey,

Chelsea and Catherine. I know it's only been a short time since we last spoke, but I wanted to give a progress update. I just recently started a new job as a campaign manager for my boss's state Assembly reelection campaign. Don't worry, He's a Democrat and damn good one at that. At first, I was really nervous about taking this job, as I would be in a new city where I wouldn't know anyone. However, per your advice, I've begun journaling most nights and have become more conscious of how I've

been treating myself, both physically and mentally. All of this has helped me find new avenues of confidence, like being a motherfucking campaign manager. This new confidence has helped me get on the dating apps again in this new city and begin swiping away. I haven't had a date yet, but I'm definitely talking to multiple people right now, and

it's always fun. I know I will definitely have to keep building my confidence and my healthy living journey is far from over, but I am proud of the progress I've made so far. Thanks for your help. Quinn. Oh, great job, Quinn, wait to fucking get after it. Good job. I love that, I know. And it's like when you start doing other things, you realize, like man, confidence can come from all these different places, like it just doesn't

have to come from like one avenue in your life. Absolutely, confidence can come from your friendships, from your family, from your job, from you know, your relationship with yourself, from your animals. You're just making contributions. It builds, instills confidence and builds it absolutely well. It's actually a fitting follow up for our guest today. He is going to join us here in st Okay. Guys, you're in for a

real special treat. Okay. I have Ben Bruno, my trainer, is our guest today and I have spent every morning at eight o'clock with him for the last week. So the last thing I want to do is spend an hour with him on this podcast. But guess what he's coming right in Yo yo yo, Ben, you put on headphones. All right, Ben Bruno's here today everyone. He's my personal trainer and Catherine, have you ever met Ben before? And not in person, just see him on your Instagram. Okay,

well this must be a thrill for you. Ben. Thank you first of all for bringing me coffee. That was really nice. I brought her coffee. I just go. Yeah, he brought Katherine and me coffee. If it was for you, I wouldn't have brought it. Well, you were texting me, so it's pretty weird that you don't know that that was for me. But furthermore, why did you call me when I put my order in for the coffee? Oh?

Because the order I didn't know what it was. It was called the Starbucks Refresher, which I didn't know what that meant. And then when I ordered it no lemonade. I was faced with the choice of mango, strawberry or pineapple. So I called and nobody picked up. So I just went with mango. So whoever that is, you're getting mango, I'm really pleased. I've never tried the mango one before, So here we are. We just picked what I would want. If you didn't like it, I was like, then I

would go with Mango. Thank you, Ben, strong decision making. So, Catherine, Ben has been my trainer for how many years been? What's our too long? Probably seven years, seven or eight years, A long time, A long time. I would say it's probably common law at this point. Hey annoyed me, extremely annoyed me from the very outset of our relationships, and I also annoy him a great deal. But we've managed to remain in a trainer relationship for a very long time,

my longest trainer relationship, that's for sure. And so he's trained a lot of my friends and a lot of my family members, and no one who's really as enthusiastic as I am about working out. I wouldn't I wouldn't call it enthusiastic. No, you're not enthusiastic at all. But well, what it's my motivation? Then I will say, you always

do show up, but you never seem to like it. Well, I mean, I don't know what kind of excitement you want to happen during a workout where you come out of a set and you're like, fuck, that was killed. I don't. I get it's just working out, But I also think I've never actually met trying to think that this is true. But I don't think I've met anyone that complains more than you do. I don't. That's such bullshit. That is a total bullshit. No, it's not about working out.

I complain about or put me on a polygraph. I'm serious. Well, we don't have a polygraph, Ben, because that's from the I'm telling the truth. No, they still use polygraph not admissible in court though. Anyway, Ben, are you what people would consider a bro? In some ways? I'm a bro? I yeah, I don't like to admit it. But when I think of my interests and what I do for fun and things, for better or worse, I'm just like a typical dude. Right, Okay, so you what does that

mean to you? What are your interests? You know, I like working out, I like watching football. I love golf. I love watching golf. All my golf friends understand that everyone else thinks that's the dumbest thing ever. I like dude stuff. I like, uh, you know, my go to order is a burger and fries. Yeah, I would say I'm pretty average. I actually googled average height for a dude because I have a lot of friends that play basketball, and so when I'm around them. I feel like I'm

just three ft tall, and I'm right on average. I'm five nine and three quarters and the average according to Google is five nine and like point six. And then my shoe size is a nine and a half, which is average for a guy. So in just about every way, I'm average. Well that's good for you to know. I'm glad that there's scientific data behind that to back up that argument, because yes, nine three quarters, So stop that that's ridiculous. Well, no one is saying three quarters. I listen,

I will round up. I'm gonna say five ten. Say that that's better than saying five nine and three quarters. Why why do you say five ten minus one quarter? See just so the listeners. No, this is the type of ship that I deal with every single workout. Chelsea comes in every day. I'm gonna I'm gonna give the listeners. This is actually therapy for me. I'm gonna give the listeners like taste into what I deal with on a daily basis. She comes in, I say, Hi, how are

you feeling? Because that's actually very important because I'm a trainer. I need to know how your body is feeling. Then I say how you doing, which to me means like you're like mental state, what's been going on? Whatever? Also, to backtrack, I see Chelsea every fucking day, So a big part of it is just trying to kill the hour. I need talking points. Yeah, well that's what you do need because the questions you ask are repetitive. When I say,

how is your body feeling? Then how you're doing? She goes, you just ask me that, You just ask me because you do. You have different things, but you repeat yourself all the time. You go, you go like this, hold on, let me talk now, you say, he goes, I come in, He goes, Hey, how you doing good? How you doing? Yeah? Time the third No, well, then come up with some new material. There's not new material nothing. You can't just keep asking the same question and hoping for a different answer.

That doesn't make any accumulate talking points if I do something on the weekend. But otherwise my day's my life's ground Hug day. I trained people, and then I eat dinner and I watch a little TV, go to bed call today, so there's not much for us to talk about from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday. Also, her life is ground Hug day, so she don't have shipped to talk about either, So I'm just grasping at straws. And then everything I do say she tells me is a

dumb question. And then also just so that people know as a trainer, I I actually I find this funny. I take pride in being pretty creative. I'll to my own horn. I I got named the most innovative trainer by Men's Health. Meanwhile, every single day two years, Yeah, and I'm still it is what it is. Meanwhile, in my field, I'm considered innovative every day that since I've trained Chelsea, which I don't know how many days that is, but it's way too many. She goes Google new Ship.

We did this one before, as if like that's what training is. You were just pretty much otate twenty exercises till one of us gets sick of the other person and moves on. But every day it's like Google new ship, Google new ship. And then any time I show something different, she's like, this is way dumber than the original one. This is like dumb. So that is what I go through people, and you love it. You love it. I'm glad it seems like you're getting stuff off your chest.

So Katherine Ben is a very straight bro. How I would classify him in my group of people that I know, and he goes to therapy. He has a therapist that he's been seeing for a few years now, right, six

or seven? Oh yeah, six or seven years. And let's talk about I would like to hear about your therapy experience as a male, as a bro, because a lot of men can't go to therapy and they don't want to even talk about what's really happening because they're scared and they don't think it's a necessary So what's been your experience? Well, I'll tell you how it started. I tried therapy at two different points in my life before this little six month run. Once six year ru six

year run. Sorry. Once when I was ten years old, I got put in therapy, but I don't think it was therapy. I think it was um, I don't know all the differences, but this guy was a psychiatrist. To backtrack real quick, my my dad passed away when I was nine, and that's obviously there's a lot of ship that comes with that. So my mom put me in therapy with the guy that my dad had actually seen, and that was definitely different than the therapy, I do now, because that was like I would say to him that

that was a failed attempt. I guess because he would say he was a medicine guy, and I think maybe some people benefit from medicine, but I think sometimes feelings of depression and stuff can be situational. Sometimes it's probably chemical, sometimes it's situational. And I just remember at ten, the guy would say to me, how do you feel about your dad dying? And I'd say, I'm sad, and I'm like, dude, who wouldn't be sid And then I went again when

I was probably nineteen or twenty. At another low point in my life. I had a back surgery when I was nineteen in college, and the surgery did nerve damage in my right leg, and in hindsight, it was a great thing for me because it got me into physical fitness and now I'm a trainer because of it. But at the time it was a real low point because I had always been very physically active and into sports. And after the surgery, I lost about forty pounds and I'm I was this big to begin with, so I

didn't even have that to lose. I was super skinny week and just really depressed because my right leg like basically shut down. I couldn't drive or anything like that. And so I was super depressed and tried therapy again, but I wasn't really open to it at the time. Long story short, Now this is my third foray into it,

and this time started about six years ago. I woke up one day and thought I just drank too much coffee on an empty stomach and just felt wired and just got something to eat, kind of went about my day. Second day this happened, I felt this crazy fast heartbeat the middle of Los Angeles, which is hot, and I was freezing cold and felt like I couldn't take in air.

It was this really weird feeling. I couldn't breathe. So I was training a guy I still trained him now, and he was like, dude, you gotta go to the doctor. So I went to the doctor. They did this whole work up on me E k G. The treadmill test, and then the guy told me I had a panic attack, and I was like, what the fuck. I think most of my friends people in my life would describe me as pretty chill. This is like, right now, this is

as animated as I ever get. I'm a pretty even keel person, and so the panic attack thing felt weird to me because I usually felt like I was never two up or down, and that really threw me for a loop because I was like, wait, am I like cra easy? Like what is this thing? The panic attack was made worse by all those feelings that I think people dudes might have when they think of, like I've had a panic attack, because it seems weird. And I

took myself down this whole rabbit hole over that. This is over the course of three or four days, where I was like, I can't believe I had a panic attack, Like am I like this anxiety kind of person? Now? I just felt very weird about it, and so someone suggested therapy, and then the first person that was recommended to me. Her advice was to carry around a brown paper bag in case you get anxiety and then you can breathe into it. And I'm like, yeah, no, I'm

not doing that. So then I was talking to one of my family friends from home because I had remembered his son got anxiety, and to be truthful, I didn't even really know what anxiety was prior to that, and he told me that there's this woman in l A that it was a great therapist, and I looked her up and she happened to be very close to my house. So I've seen her ever since that panic attack, And originally my first appointment was just to figure out why I had a panic attack, and then I've just been

going ever since. In some ways, I think of it like a paid friend, but a friend that just gives like way better advice than my real friends. Because the thing about dudes, dudes don't want to go to therapy, But I bet guys we probably need it more than women because guys just in general give shitty advice. So if you ever talk to your friends about your problems, you're not getting good advice. They're probably gonna direct you in a way that will like lead to more problems.

So I think it's good to just have a professional opinion. And then also too, I do spend a lot of time as a trainer. I take on a lot of other people's problems over the course of the day. They tell me all their stuff, but I don't really get too into my stuff. And I realized that it's just good for me to have you have this outlet to get everything off your Yeah, I haven't spoken in like eight minutes, so I mean, let it rap. I'm just talking. Honestly.

I had to deal with Chelsea for an hour already today, so I can't hear her talk anymore. I'm just gonna keep talking. But I think for me, it's just I go once a week or once every other week, and I get a good sounding board, and I think sometimes even if there's actually a lot of times I will say I've told her straight up that I'm not really good at the therapy process. Sometimes she'll ask me. I'll be telling her something and she'll ask me, like, how

does that make you feel? And I'm like, I don't know, Like I'm still trying to figure out my emotions. But I think talking through things sometimes I solve my own problems. But it's also just good to have someone to talk to. And it's made me probably better than maybe it has. I don't know. Your body is pretty good. At least I've yet to google any exercises for her personality. We're working on that, but I do think it helps me. I noticed. I think it's helped me a lot in

now I have a living girlfriend. It's helped me with that type of stuff and she likes it. I go to therapy, so do dude should go? Just it's probably a better way to get girls too. I think girls actually now it's like now it's cool. Now it's cool. So the other part to this is I remember when I first went to therapy. There was like sort of a shame when I had the panic attack where I felt like I was copying to guilt to a couple of my buddies and across the board all my guy friends.

But one was like, oh, yeah, dude, I go to And I was like, what the funk? I've known you forever and I don't even know this. Guys just don't really talk about it. But I think it's more common than they think. Do Have you had a panic attack since you went to therapy? You know? I don't think

to that level, but yes I have. But it's it's actually way better now knowing what it is, because I've had times stress, you know, and who I don't know the continuum of panic attack for stress first whatever, but I've definitely had times where I'll be feeling nervous about something or uncomfortable or just unhappy, and then my heart rate just gets jacked. It's like I can feel it throughout my whole body, or I'll just start sweating or

things like that. And so I've learned now it's less of a panic attack, because i think part of the panic part comes, at least for me, from not knowing what it was. But when you know what it is, and I've learned breathing techniques and I've learned how powerful breath can be to back that stuff down. The breathing thing is crazy in the sense that I can go from feeling jacked up to like a zen like stoned, in like a minute, just through breath. What breathing exercises

do you do? Uh? Well, they're all cousins of each other. I think I've learned different ones, but one is called It's just a breathing ladder that I learned, and that is essentially the exhales twice as long as the inhale. So you breathe in for one second, out for two, in for two out for four, three, six, four, eight, five ten, then you do five ten twice and then go back down four eight, three, six, etcetera. And by

the end, etcetera. And then by the end you know you you either are cool, or you do it once through. Another thing that I just learned actually from therapy is called square breathing, and I believe in and it started with the Navy seals. I could be wrong about that, but I think that's what she said, and that's essentially think of a square. So the you inhale for four, then hold it for four seconds, exhale for four, hold it for four seconds, and you repeat that. Another thing

is called five seven eight. You'll see they're all related, but five five seven eight is breathe in for five, hold it for seven, exhale for eight. That that I learned from my training mentor, Mike Boyle, and that takes it's a twenty second breath and you go through three times. He actually told it to me in the sense of he's a he's a napper and can basically put himself to sleep in the afternoon doing that, which is pretty crazy. And then I can't remember the fourth one, but they're

all in a similar type of thing. And I actually remember that time you taught me the meditation where we did the guided meditation in my front yard and then I just passed out. I don't know if you even remember that you had a guided meditation. I didn't teach you anything. It was a guided meditation that we listened to. Well, you taught me. I never tried it before, But to

people listening, I thought meditation. I'm not even fucking talking, and I don't think you can tell me to shout up at this point, buddy, Well, I think, uh, the meditation was a thing that Chelsea turned me onto that felt too woo woo for me. I Um, I have a real tricky time, like I hate like yoga class, I like stretching, but anything that feels to woo woo, that's what I thought the meditation was. But Chelsea's actually taken me through two guided meditations and I fell asleep

both times. And I'm not a napper, So that that shows to me that, uh, it's probably something worth exploring. Yeah. Well, and I mean when you're focusing on your breath, you know, some people say that meditation is really just focusing on yourself and focusing on your breath. So in a way, like you're doing your own form of meditation where you're doing this box breathing or these you know, these other

types of breathing techniques. The breathing stuff actually works better for me than just trying to meditate, because it could just be me, but I doubt it. It's really hard to just be told clear your mind for ten or twenty minutes, because all I do is just think about all the ship that's been bothering me. So I think the breathing stuff is good for me in the sense that I don't go blank minded. I'm counting the whole time, so my mind can't wander. Yeah, it gives you something

to focus on. Yeah, I bet you. With all your breathing though, now you would be able to meditate more easily because the meditation is just focusing on your breathing, because it is a meditative thing anyway. So are you ready to give some advice to callers? People call in ask for real life advice, and then we have to give them good advice. This feels like the blind leading the blind. Well, we're gonna take a quick break and we will be right back to answer some questions and

we're back fantastic. Well, you know what, We're gonna do things a little bit differently today because this is training focused and health focused. We've got a lot of sort of like quick little bite questions. So are you going to be able to answer a questions to sent way or are you going to ramble on and on and on on? All right, let's hear the questions. We have something to ramble on a little bit later. We have some really good callers calling in, but we'll just start

with some little quickies. So our first question is resistance training using one's own body for weight training a k A. Plank pull ups, push ups, etcetera. Just as efficient and beneficial as lifting weights. Joe. Joe, Yes to a point. I think in the beginning it's great, but I think as you acclimate to your own body weight, it's really good to add a little bit more resistance. And we

we follow a tendant in training. It's called progressive overload, basically meaning like you want to gradually make things harder. So unless you just kept adding body weight, which I don't think many people want to do, you're going to run out of ways to progressively overload. Got it? I agree? Chelsea concurs. Hi, Chelsea and Ben. My name is Abby. I followed that on Instagram, and I'm curious if he's still single. I wanted some he's got to live in girlfriend?

That was quick? Sorry, Abby, I wanted some advice on how to get motivated for the gym. I used to go every day in between shifts at work. I now find myself struggling for motivation to go even once a week. Chelsea, You're in insane shape, so maybe you could chime in on this too. PS. I'm twenties six years old, Abbey bed Why don't you take the lead on this one. I don't know the question in that it sounds like she was just explaining her situation. Yeah, I think the

question is how to get motivated for the gym. To me, something that is interesting to note is that like she was maybe doing like a shift at are going to the gym and then doing another shift at work, which like you can do when you're like but she may have just been sort of overworking herself in general. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that my motivation is looking good, so I just feel more like mentally normal and clearheaded when I am feeling good and looking good, and I

like to be strong. I was on vacation for two weeks recently, and I didn't work out for two weeks, and that was probably the first time in like two weeks I've never worked out first time in two weeks, the first time that I didn't work out for the duration of two weeks, you know, like I'll always work out so and shut the funk up, just trying to help the people that made no and I didn't like it because my ass melted. And then I got back and I worked out for like a week. I did

pilates for a week. But like, as soon as you start working out and seeing the results, I think that's really it. Once you start to see the results, it becomes kind of addicting. I will say, personally, I'm not the type of trainer that just lives to work out. I'm not somebody that works out every day. I usually strength train three days a week, and then on other days I try. I try to be active every day,

but I get sick of my own workouts. I've I've been I've been training people for fifteen years, and I'm just kind of you know, I spend my whole day in the gym. So what I do when I'm not feeling motivated, because I definitely have weeks where I won't do the weights, is I just make appointments with friends to hold myself accountable. You know, a lot of a lot of my clients probably a big part of it.

It's just built in accountability. But if you don't have a trainer, you can create that same accountability by just making appointments with friends. There's a lot of times that I'll make an appointment on a Monday with my buddies for Tuesday, and I think to myself as they're driving over, man, if they if they cancel, like I'm skipping. So it's like it's a really good way I think for me to to stick to it. That's great. Next question, My question for Bruno is why don't you like burpes? I

hate them. To Wendy Man, I don't even know why this is controversial. When I say I don't like burpies, all these like really jacked CrossFit guys get mad at me. But I'm not talking about for them. They can do whatever they want, but a lot of just normal people that don't live to work out think that that's the way that they're gonna lose weight. But burpies are actually I call them advanced exercise masquerading as a beginner exercise. It's actually pretty hard to do correctly and requires a

lot of mobility. So if you just passed a normal workout class. I would call myself captain obvious if you went past a normal class. Almost everyone's that does burpies sucks at them like jack. Guys are the ones that fight me on it, but they don't even do them. It's always like beginners, and it requires a lot of mobility and a lot of people hurt their back, risks, knees, etcetera doing that, etcetera. Uh, and could easily just get

their heart rate up through safer means. Yeah, it seems like something that is very easy to do with poor form, which can lead to getting hurt. So I just a simple way. I just say break it down into its two constituent parts and do push ups and squads separate but don't combine. I was had a trainer. I think this was I used Chloe Kardashians trainer for a short period of time, probably before I met you, Ben, and I remember in the middle I remember, I remember we

broke up a couple of times. No, we didn't, we didn't. Anyway, I think he made me do a burbie. If I'm thinking correctly about what burpies are, which is when you run up and down the floor right like jump off like do like a belly flop. Yeah, And I as soon as I saw that, I was like, I can't do that. Not because I don't think the burpies work, It's just because they're too hard. It's too annoying to

jump up and down like that. I'm not into jumping period. Well, our next question is make sure we asked Ben some real life questions to not just fitness. We shouldn't let him get off easy today. Okay, Well we'll have a couple more quickies and then we'll get to some serious stuff. Okay, great, I'm like twelve. I always laugh when I hear quickie. Oh God, that's what I'm dealing with everybody like a

fucking eighth grader. Well, that fits right in with our next question, because our next question is I always have pain in my hips when I have sex and missionary position. I'm in the gym four times a week, and I have done a lot of hip mobility work on my hip flexers, but it hasn't fixed the problem. Any suggestions on specific exercises or stretches I could try. I like it from behind, so it's not the end of the world.

But variation is the spice of Life. Thanks Jess. That's I'm glad you covered that, Jess, because Ben was going to say, take it from behind. That's exactly what you were going to say. I was thinking it, I wasn't gonna say it. I would say, First off, I'm curious, like what exactly she means when she says missionary, because I don't know how your hips could hurt, just like lying flat. But I think if if her legs are up, you know, around whatever, I would say that she probably

could be doing some Yeah. I mean, now, sorry, I'm just visualizing your legs and then your hips are in. Off, you don't just lie there like a stick figure. Some do. But there's you know, there's some there's some clarifications I need. But in general, I would tell her to do the pigeon stretch. That would be a good one. And yeah, and then if she wants to google or YouTube or whatever Stationary spider Man's that's a really good bang for

your book, Mobility Drill. I don't hate that joke. I don't hate that my best I can't even say anything right now, Chelsea. We have a quick call from a friend of yours. Rosanna is calling perfect. She had a question for you, says My question for Ben would be how to make my calves smaller? They are enormous. Thanks Rosanna, that is a really tricky one. She already asked me, and I gave her what my feedback, which was, well, I'll wait for your feedback. Oh my god, look who

it is is, Hi Hi. Oh my god, what a valiant. I love it. I'm in my pink palace. Rosanna is one of my friends who I just went to Vancouver Island with. I told them earlier about falling asleep, or maybe it was in another episode about falling asleep at three in the afternoon and then waking up at three am. Rosanna. We had a great time. Chuck spent a lot of the week sleeping and we watched Your Sleep. I brought her what she needed in between getting drunk in the

hotel bar. It was a good week. Yeah, we didn't make it very far, but Rosanna made various reservations all throughout town every night, like six or seven different places for lunch and dinner, and then we would just cancel all of them and activities too. We also canceled a lot of activities, but we didn't need him Okay, so this is Ben Bruno, this is my trend, or you're finally needed Rosanna tell him about your situation. I have a situation. I have the opposite situation that most people have.

I don't need to build up my calves. I need to reduce my calves. Their massive. They are not calves, They're full grown cows. So I just would like to be able to fit into boots. You really are you also recently lost weight? Right? How much weight have you lost? I'm not really quite sure, but I've definitely I've definitely lost them weight, and I've been heavier, I've been smaller, but no matter what, my calves are still so muscular. My legs in general are muscular, but my calves especially,

I mean, Chelsea can tell you. We were in Victoria's. She was like, damn girl, those are sound cats. So I don't know if there's something I can do to lean them out. Wait, let me ask him one question. Did you notice that they reduced in size when you lost weight a little bit? Yeah, for sure, that's really the best thing you can do. Unfortunately, for both people that have small calves and big calves, calves are just some people have big calves genetically, some have teeny ones

and more so than almost any other muscle. It's hard to change that. But I would say losing weight all over will definitely help you lose girth in your calves, but also doing things like calphrases to get them to shrink won't have that effect. So I would say, like, don't do anything other than you know, maybe lose weight, and also just know that it's one of those grass is Greener things. You probably think. It's way more negative

than most people. I get far more questions about how to grow calves and like, like me, for example, I have teeny calves, to the point that if I ever share a video of myself doing pull ups on YouTube, the trolls tell me I'm cheating because my calves are so small that I have nothing to pull up. So just no rosetta there is. Yeah, it's just I bet I bet people just yeah right, Well, she used the calves the cows. That's cheesy Jim humor too, so we're

even up. No calves the cows is the title of every like cheesy internet calf article like how to turn your calvestack cows. So but yeah, I would say, first off, congrats on losing the weight, But I would say as you do that more in your body acclimates and stuff, they'll probably come down a little bit. Okay, So I mean I take classes and stuff, and sometimes when they'll do the calfhrases and calf exercise, just set that one out and do the yoga shivasana and just lay there

while they do the cal phrases. What about Pilate's like, well, that helped lengthen them out. No. So, actually that's a tricky one for me to broach because a lot of women that do pilates tell me that they want to get long and lean. It's actually impossible. Your muscles insertion points are set so you actually can't lengthen a muscle. When when when women say that, I just kind of nod because I know what they mean. But that's actually not happening. You can't lengthen a muscle. It's it is

what it is, your anatomy. But I think you can tone the muscle and stuff like that. But I think a lot of what you're talking about will is just more about like weight loss and fat loss. Got it. But I do think pilates does help you be more conscientious of your posture and your alignment. So just by nature of doing it, you stand up a little bit taller and your posture is a little bit better, and that always makes everything also look better. Yeah, I actually

love pilates. I didn't mean that to say I don't like pilates. I love it. I do it myself sometimes. But I think that it's a misnomer to say that you're lengthening things. But I do think that you're there's a ton of benefits to it. Okay, so my calves are what they are, more or less unfortunately. Okay, I want you to take that into the weekend, Rosanna, exactly energy. You can take that big calf energy into the weekend. It was very nice meeting, like it's your last. It

was nice to meet you too. Thanks for calling Rosanna your problem. I'll talk to you later. Chuck, that was funny. She's cute. They all call me Chuck. I love that. It's very I don't know, actually just a mystery. While this is a very interesting gym and relationship related question, it's a little long. I cut it down to about a third of its original linkage. She's a writer by trade, but just be prepared Dear Chelsea. I'm a twenty six year old grad student in a relationship with my partner,

we'll call him Dan, who's thirty one. We've been together for five years now, and it's been the most stable and loving relationship I've ever had. I've always been very skeptical of marriage, but in this relationship, I'm open to the idea, and we've been recently talking about getting engaged. Then something happened that has me questioning everything. Within the last few months, Dan has started a fitness journey cringe. I also hate that Word has been going to the

gym with a personal trainer. It's all he talks about anymore, and I've often found him standing in the mirror flexing his arm muggles, which kind of makes me want to hurl. But I know he has had some insecurities about his appearance in the past, and I'm proud of him and the work he's been doing to feel good about himself and his body. When he started getting very into his gym life, I noticed that our intimacy was decreasing. There

was an obvious shift. When I would bring it up, he'd brush it off, saying he was tired and deny my advances. One night, when I was met with this response, I had had enough. When I asked him what was going on, he paused, said he didn't want to hurt me, and eventually told me, you've gained a lot of weight in the last six months, and it's made me less interested. I guess I was crushed. I'm a healthy weight and I love my body. I work out five days a

week at home, walk often, and eat well. I know I've gained a little weight, and I just accepted it as part of becoming an adult. I'm aware that I won't be the scrawny, hundred and ten pound girl he five years ago, forever just a sex. By the way, if this person is distancing himself from me due to a few pounds of weight gain, are the foundations of our relationships strong enough to handle the really hard things together.

I can't get the comment out of my head. I went to stay with friends, and when I returned home, my boyfriend apologized endlessly. However, it all just feels like damage control. I fell in love with him because he was a kind, thoughtful, smart and loving intellectual book nerd. Now he's starting to feel like a conceited Jim rat. Should I try to work through this incident or hit the road. My love for him is not based on appearance, but this comment is making me question if he can

love me the same way. Amy, Hi, Amy, Hi, how are you? Hi? Ben Bruno is our guest today. Hi, nice to meet you. That must have been an unpleasant conversation to have. It was, it was. It shocked me a little bit, but yeah, I decided to come back home and work it out. But not much has really changed, especially on his part. Still kind of obsessive with the working out, a lot of damage control, like saying, you know, I didn't mean what I said this and that, and

it's like, okay, then why did you say it? And it's just been really confusing. Did you leave for a period of time? I did, Yeah, about a week, just to like get my mind off of things and hang out with some friends. But yeah, it's just been it's been hard to wout my head around. Yeah, that's a pretty dicky thing for him to have said to you. And also like the whole obsessive working out, Like you could forgive that, but those two things together now you're

piling on unattractive qualities. It's not a left field too. This is not like him. So within like the past two months, this obsession has started and has changed the way like he treats me and how he feels about himself as well. You know, we were at the beach the other weekend and I saw these growy guys that were like very muscular playing a game or whatever, and he looked over at them and looked out at himself,

not really good about himself. So I'm trying to decide, like, are you saying these comments because you don't feel good about yourself? Or is this I don't know, it's it's just been so confusing. Yeah, I mean I think it's worth a longer conversation about it, where you sit down and be like, listen, this is like a big red flag to me, like, not only are you behaving in a way that seems obsessive, now you're attacking me. These

are not qualities. I'm looking for to have a larger conversation about that and what that sets up for any future together. Right, you should call him out. What do you think, ben Well? Has he gone from non worker outer to like a full Jim Douche, like a full transformation kind of thing. Yeah, it's kind of been like I work out and stuff, but it's not all I talked about, Like it's just like a part of your routine, like being healthy, a part of your regime. Yes, regime, Yeah,

the full on gym culture. Does he do like the weird eating habits and like this ship like that too? Not really. Definitely has cut down on alcohol, which that's fine, and definitely from working out at home to going to a gym where he has like a personal trainer and things like that. And maybe he's like looking at other people's bodies that are super jocked. I don't know. I'm just trying to figure out when this is coming from. But it could be just like the new environment of

where he's working out. I don't know. Well, I think a lot of workout dudes. It's hard for me to say without knowing him, but a lot of workout dudes have this. They call it body dysmorphia. But I think about themselves, and then I think they put that on to other people too. So I'll have trainer friends that

are big dudes, you know. As reference, I'm five nine, about a hundred seventy pounds to some people, I'm big to some people, I'm small, But there's a lot of trainer dudes that are huge by all standards, and they talk about how they're insecure because they lose eyes and stuff, and I look at them, like, what are you talking about you? And then I think they also put I don't know what the word would be, but they have unrealistic expectations of what other people look like and things

like that. But I think if he's going like full Jim, you know, I don't want to say douche, but douche, then I think he could be in that mindset where And I think also a lot of dudes get a superiority when they lift, you know. I remember when I moved to l A and started training actors, a lot of my Jim Rat friends would ask me what some of these famous guys like benched and squat and stuff, and when I would tell them the number, they would

be like pussy, like they were better than them. And I'm like, this dude has you beat in every facet of life, and you're acting like you're better than him. But Jim, people are really like that sometimes, and I think that a lot of guys when they lift, get an arrogance about that. But as it relates to you. I don't know. It's hard for me to say, but I think it's like super shitty that he's putting you in that spot. And I also wonder if he's expecting you to do all that weird stuff too, which would

be dumb. I don't think you should. That's pressure should be placed on you. I will say again, I'm a trainer. I'm not somebody. I have very few trainer friends because I'm not somebody that likes to work out every day. If I have a buddy that tells me that, you know, he does like chest on Monday back on Wednesday, I'm like, Okay, we're probably never gonna be friends that type of thing. But I think it's very healthy to work out in moderation. But I think when you take it too far, it

can be unhealthy for your body and your mindset. You definitely have to talk to him. And you said he's like flexing in the mirror. This might be like addition by subtraction. If it doesn't end up working out, that's tricky. Great, Yeah, it feels like this may be an opportunity to encourage him to get into therapy. This doesn't even feel like a couple of therapy situation, but like he needs to examine why he is turning this self hate rid of his own body and his own fat or whatever on you.

So this might be a time to encourage him to be like why don't why don't you explore that with somebody and what's coming up for you with that? M Yeah, So he started going to therapy and then we did have a longer conversation about this whole topic, and he like blamed it on seeing unrealistic body expectations, like both in the gym and on social media. And for me, I'm like, as a female, like that should I deal

with every day? Like we all, so you'll put it on me, like, this isn't my problem, you know, it's his ship. I think that's a really really good point. And first of all, even if you have gained a little bit of weight, like you're still a very slender person, and even if you weren't, it wouldn't matter. It shouldn't matter to him what you weigh. He's having some sort of a physical mental reaction to whatever he's going through, and that's that's something he's got to kind of unpack

on his own. Yeah, I guess My question knows do I stick around for that and how do I move forward with trust? I don't really trust you now, Like I don't really feel like I even know you anymore, Like you've changed in two months, like drastically, and not even his body, just like his perginality and what he's

doing his actions. So yeah, I mean, if there's an opportunity for you to go to therapy with him and talk to his therapist with him, I would take that opportunity really yeah, and just say like, this is what I'm seeing. This is a different person than I, and I'm concerned, Like it's a little bit fanatical, and it's also having a negative impact on me. It's hard for something to be happy for somebody to encourage them when it's coming right back at you. He should be happy

about his body. What's he focused on you for. I definitely think you have to press him a little more on what he meant by what he said and things, because I think it sounds like he backtracked. And I just know as a dude, sometimes if I say something that doesn't get a good reaction, I just retreat and then just go like, hey, I don't mean that, Like

all good. But whether there's smoke, there's fire. So I think you have to really understand where he's coming from and then you can evaluate if it's something you can get past or not. But I think the retreat thing would probably be because he saw that he piste you off and hurt your feelings and doesn't want to keep that going. But the feelings are still there, so even if you just sweep it under the rug, that's it's going to come back if you don't really talk about

that a little bit more. Yeah, that's kind of like where I met as how to move forward with us and whether it's worth it or not. Um, how long have you guys been together? Five years? So it's kind of gone to the point where like things are getting very serious and I've never been like a marriage person or kids person, and like we've talked about these things, but I've been more open about them. And then this comment came up and it like really was triggering for me,

just like my past and everything. And so it's just, yeah, trying to trying to figure out what to do next. But I would agree that a deeper conversation and possibly therapy together would be guid Yeah, you should give it. I mean, it's five years is a long time to be with somebody, So give it the amount of attention it deserves and the respect it requires. And if there's not a change, then you know you have your answer and you're going to move on right right, Okay, well,

thank you, all right? Well keep us supposed to a me. Okay, Well, I will thank you so much. Ye see this is serious ship ben yeh. Well, our next color is Alicia. Alicia says, I'm fifty three and I'm in perimenopause. I've begun reading some things about how women my age should focus on strength training and do less high intensity interval training or high impact cardio. When we talked on the phone, she said, just kind of always been a cardio person. If I can work out four days a week, what

would you suggest as a training schedule, he asked. My current back to school routine is Monday, I do cardio strength, Wednesday triple met con all cardio but at different levels. Saturday cardio strength where I'm mix in some weights. Sunday strength all weights. Alicia. Hello, oh shitsky doodle, Hi Alicia, Hi, Alicia, Hi, I have been Bruno my trainer here a perfect time for your question. Yes, I was excited to see that

you're looking for questions. I'm at the age where I'm starting to read and learn about menopause, and I really like to work out, and I've been reading and hearing about that women my age should be focusing more on strength training. And I grew up doing so much cardio all the time. So what do I need to be doing well? Question? You said that, but then when Catherine was reading your schedule, it sounded like you did three days of strength training in one day at cardio. Monday's

and Saturday's are a mix of cardio and strength. Classify that as a whole strength class. Well, what I'll say I always recommend I tell women to think of strength training as the entree and cardio is the side dish, so they're both important. But if we had to allocate percentages, I would probably say two thirds to three quarters strength training, one third to one quarter cardio. But I don't think that you have to have a strength day only cardio

day only. What will typically do is just incorporate a little bit of cardio at the end of the strength workouts. Um, it's just you know, some intervals and stuff. But I would say for you, three full body strength workouts a week is great, and then if you enjoy cardio on top of that, do it. And also I do agree, sounds like you answered your own question in the question, but you were talking about trying to not do as

much high impact cardio. I do think that first off, strength training, if you do full body strength training is cardio. People that do body parts splits, not so much if you do like a chest day or whatever. But if you're pairing upper body and lower body exercises, you're gonna get a cardio effect from that too. But I think it's great to supplement the full body strength work with some low impact interval training. And then also it's just some low intensity training like going for a walk or

a hike or things like that. But I think that's like a good long term strategy. And then also incorporating mobility work in there too. Yes, that's that's built into a couple of the classes my training. The best part of this whole COVID thing is I found this trainer. Sounds like a good trainer. Yeah, so it sounds like I'm kind of on the right road. Need to make sure I get the strength in on on the weekend because she does that on the days I go to work,

So all right, I will keep at that. Cool. Yeah, don't over you the cardio. Yeah, it's hard though, I know, I know it feels like it's good, but it's better to strength train. Yes, yeah, okay, okay. It's been so fun to talk with you. Thank you so much for taking my question. Thank you, nice to meet you. Bye bye. All right, well, our next question comes from Kim. Kim is forty nine. Dear Chelsea, I'm really struggling with my fitness. I started putting on tons of weight about ten years ago.

After a round of Whole thirty, I knew something was wrong, and after several doctors, I was diagnosed with celias and Hashimoto's thyroiditis. I went gluten free, obviously, and soy free, another allergy I discovered and started to feel so much better. Work relocated me to Florida. I'm a private teacher slash family assistant, and it was great for the health part because I would just ride my cruiser bike around the horse farms for ten to twenty miles a day, taking

in the canal els in the sunsets. The weight seemed to fall off. I move a lot with this job, and my location and level of activity during work and time spent outside seems to vary, as has my weight. Now that you have my back story, I'd like to ask for your help in mindset. I've always been one to just do fun activities my whole life and not think of it as exercise. I just recently signed up for an adult tap class here in my current location,

and I hiked at my last location. I'd love if you had tips to help me develop a traditional workout mindset, whether at home or going to the gym. Kim, oh, hey, Kim, Hi, Hi, I'm well, how are you good? Thank you. Ben Bruno's our guest today, so it's perfect timing for your question. Yes, I'm sorry. He's our in studio health expert today. So is your question more related to the fitness side or the diet side. Well, I have the diet side pretty well nailed. I know how I have to eat to

feel good, and that's you know what I do. But I just have a hard time getting in the mindset of like going to the gym and doing typical workouts. I like to be active. I ride my bike, I hike. I just started TAP lessons. I know, if I'm moving with my I have hashes and ciliac. So if I move like three or four hours a day, I'm great. But sometimes it's really hard, and I just feel like I need to somehow incorporate going to a gym and not looking at it as a torture chamber. Can you

do it with a friend? Will that help you? To enlist a friend that you like. Go to a class two days a week, if it's a bar method or soul cycle anything. I mean, I guess I have a few. I just relocated to Nashville, so I know a couple of people. Well that's a good way to make friends, probably to actually yeah, so, and I've already become friendly with people in my TAP class, so you know, hopefully that'll progress. I have a partner who loves to bike ride.

He does that schimish emmy. Writing not my thing, but you know, we do write a lot, so I'm lucky to do that. But I just don't know why I have such a It's like I have a wedge to prevent me from going to the gym. You just have to find some classes that you like in that are in the gym. You know what I mean, and just sign up for like two a week and commit to that. That's a great way to aid work out and make friends. And they could be strength training classes, you know what

I mean. So you know you're going and you're not responsible for your own regiment. It's being provided for you, right m h. I sort of feel Kim, like you have the best of both worlds, you know. I think that's what everybody wants to get to, is like just doing something fun and it's exercise. By the way, It's like that old saying, find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life. But I feel like the same applies here, you'll never work out

a day in your life. Like I feel like you got it great, Like Chelsea said, joining a couple of extra classes. Maybe that's a strength training class or something like that. But I think you've got a good mindset. Oh well, thank you. Do you have anything to add, Ben, I actually hate to say this, but I really like what Chelsea had to say. But I would also add that they have a lot of workout programs that you can get that you can do at home. So if

you just have an aversion to the gym. There are a lot of home workout programs, and I know a lot of female trainers do stuff where the workout program includes an online fitness community element like Facebook, book groups and whatnot. So if you struggle with accountability, some of those might be good. You do it and then you report back to the trainer and the group. That's not totally my thing, so I'm not I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I know

they exist. I would also I want to plug my girlfriend. She is Celiac. She has a whole thing. She's on Instagram and has a blog called yeah at No Bread, Um at No Bread, and it's like a website and an Instagram handle that has she is an amazing cook, but it's all glue and free stuff. Yeah, you should follow her. She's got great recipes and great brands to buy all of that stuff. Absolutely, I'm always looking for

new things. Yeah, but I would look at some of the online The female trainers that do online programming do a really great job of doing stuff to build a community. If you just hate going to the gym, you can check in with people online and whatnot. Yeah, I don't even know. I guess I don't have an adversion going to the gym. I just I guess maybe just to get started and just not look at it as, oh, let me go rund my bike. It's all fun, and you know, I know when I do go, I feel good,

I have results. I just don't know what the mind blocking. You just have to find a class you like and then you're gonna be down with going. That's it. Just find a class you like and go and do the social aspect of it too. And if you don't like going to the gym but you like the working out, then do what you know and then get one of those I mean, they're on peloton, they're on tonal. There's all these types of things you can do at home.

But I hear what you're saying, but you just have to like dive in and find the thing that you like to do, and then you'll want to go to the gym. One more thing, I want to add a lot of people when they embark on strength training for the first time, feel like they have to do this whole crazy program and work out an hour at a time, and it's totally fine. I would maybe start with like fift twenty minute workouts, and just dip your toe in, and I think as you get a little better at it,

you might like it more too. Okay, starting small amounts, maybe that's my problem. I just feel like I have to. Well, strength training is a thing that if you just come in guns and blazing and go too hard, you're gonna be sort of shipped. So I think, I sometimes think and that's very de motivating. So I think that if you start slowly and build progressively to kind of mitigate that soreness and get used to it, it will help you in the long term. Okay, great, thank you so much.

I will try both the online and just moving to the gym and making it a social thing. Cool. Thanks for calling in. Thank you bye. And on note, I think I'm done talking about nutrition. Well let's take a break so we can be done talking about that and we'll be right back with Chelsea and Ben Bruno and we're back. Excellent. Well, Bennett, that's point in the show. We like to ask our guests if they would like to ask Chelsea for some advice, be not really to

be honest with you. I mean, that's that's why I go to therapy, so I don't have to ask people at Chelsea for advice. Accept that. I feel like if I asked Chelsea for advice, I would end up like face down in a ditch somewhere. Then why hasn't that already happened? Because I don't take what you say like, I don't, I don't really interesting, I don't pay attention. Yeah, interesting, Well, I think that means that Ben Bruno doesn't have any questions for me, And you know what, I'm totally down

with that. I need the day off of answering questions. What questions would I have for Chelsea? Well, why don't you think I have a question? I do it. I knew if you were me, how would you deal with the client? Like you? Because I've struggled with this for seven eight years, however long we've trained every single day. I think like I don't know what to do in

this situation. I'm well, fire me if you if I make you so, But like probably of the time you're pleasant, right, So that's either this is the bed you made and now you either have to lie in it, not lay in it. You have to lie in it or fire me. It's I mean, the ball is in your court. No, I of the time, So you're not going to fire the juice is worth the squeeze. No, I'm not okay, So then there we go. Then what do you How would you deal with me? I don't know what to

tell you. I wouldn't know how to deal with me either. That that actually makes me feel good to hear. That makes me. This is been big. This is a cathartic podcast for me. It's been such a release bed. Where can everybody find you? At the Kitchen. That's the name of his gym at his house. It's called the kitchen

and his address is exactly don't say the address. Do you have an it's you of Instagram, Ben Ben Bruno training, Ben Bruno train er in one of training Bruno training to research this really not really, that's the wrap up. We're done, Catherine, We're done here. Good night. So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at Dear Chelsea project at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea

is a production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stump, produced by Katherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.