How to Giggle with Hannah Berner + Paige DeSorbo

Hello, Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, Hi, how are you?

I'm so great.

I'm so great.

I'm here my last day of Whistler. I'm leaving.

Doug is staying for another week because he loves it up here so much, My little lion bear fucking love Doug.

Is he coming with you or are you going back there again?

I'm going to come back and get him in a week. Yes, I'm going to come back and get him in a week. I do want to make announcement. I'm a European tour. We had to cancel Dublin unfortunately because something came up that I can't that I can't rearrange. So I start out in Rekuvic and all the other cities I'm still

I'll be in Vegas once a month.

Awesome.

Yeah, you'll be there in the heat of the summer.

I know, I know. I can't believe it.

And I hope everyone is checking out my stand up special The Feeling on Netflix. Thank you for all your messages about it. Thank you for all your messages about my book that I still get coming in all the time.

I love that. Yeah, it's all great, It's all great, wonderful. That's great. Life is great.

I started mountain biking and Whistler because the seasons are changing. I brought my e bike up here. So I am becoming a full blown lesbian.

Oh.

Our guests today are the hosts of the Gigly Squad, which is a very popular podcast and they have a new book out called How to Giggle. So please welcome Hannah Berner at page Oh hi girls, Hi Giggly swad Girls. Paige of Soorbo and Hannah Berner. Look who we have in studio today. Actually, we're not in studio. No one is in the same place. You too, aren't even in the same place. Have you guys thought about moving in together?

Yet? We don't spend any time together. This is strictly business. It's a very transactional relationship. Yes, yeah, okay, I understand.

We say that we're in a non sexual marriage. Like most of America.

I yeah, most yes, most married people are not having said, well, Hannah's married. I find one of the most surprising things about you, Hannah is that you're married. And I kind of object to it.

Chelsea.

It's so embarrassing, and I feel like, I feel like we'd be better friends if I wasn't married.

It's I think you would have a lot more friends if you weren't married. I feel like it's like when I had a friend recently who got pregnant unexpectedly and I was like, so sorry, Yeah, I was like, you can't, you can't are you are you going to keep it? And she's like, I've been thinking about him. I definitely don't, you know, like, look at the world. It's a disaster.

And both of the women who are.

Mothers were like, yeah, we're disappointed that she's having a baby too, Like we are all in concert. Everyone is in agreement except the woman having the baby.

Well, it's true, it changes friend dynamics. Paige has this thing where she's like, you can't have a baby until I have a baby.

Yeah, that's where I'm drawing the line.

Yeah, but she's newly single, so I'm like, okay, Well, like my husband's old, so he's running out of time.

Yeah, your husband is just like this like ghost like figure, where is this person?

I actually wanted him to say hi, but then I shoot him out.

Yeah, I want to ever see him. I don't ever want to see him.

It's better own.

When Hannah got married, she literally didn't post a single picture of her husband. It was just pictures of Hannah in her wedding dress.

But you know what, Chelsea, we did reality TV for a second and he was on it for like a second, and it's one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my life. And I just don't want to subject anyone I love to my shit, do you know what I mean?

That's nice?

And I don't want to be subjected to him either, quite frankly, you know what I mean.

I want more of you and less of him. I think there's a comic Erica Rhodes. She just posted something like, you know your friend's in a good relationship when you barely know her your her husband's name. Yeah, you know your friend who's always talking about the guy You're like, I think you're gonna murder him at this point.

Yeah, no, I've met Dez four times. It's also good.

It's also good to be low key married because you're not really dealing with that aspect of things on top of your career. You're not also going out with, like, you know, having like turbulent relationships, which is what would be happening anyway, you know, and downs. That's the one pro so that's a good thing about being married is you don't have to date.

It's less bad than having a kid. Literally, Chelsea, I don't have to worry about the other dating apps and what do I text this guy emoji or no emoji? Because you know I was in the weeds with that back in then.

I know, I'm sure you are you guys. I read your book. I read your book. The girls have a new book. First of all, you know them from the Giggly Squad. They have a new book called how to Giggle, which is them talking about their high levels of stupidity, also in concert with all of the things that have made them successful thus far, which is like one chapter is called how to be Zululu, which is short for which generation are you?

Guys? You guys are gen z No? No, no, no, we're millennials. You're millennials.

Okay, so hard for millennials, you guys, I don't know what generation is?

What I don't know what generation I am either.

Millennials like a slur, now, I know, I know it's not It's not a compliment, So that's why I was trying to avoid saying it. But Delulu for all of those who don't know what that means is delusional. But I love that chapter because it is really fucking true. So, Paige, why don't you you tell me about your delusion and how it got you to be successful?

No, I really think that.

I I'm drinking a course light by the way, sorry.

As you should. As you should.

I think that when I started on social media, I wasn't nervous to start because I truly was delusional, Like I was too dumb right to think of like people judging me.

It never crossed my mind.

Yeah, So like when Instagram came out and it was like you have to have a following to get anywhere in life, I was like, oh, well, I have to try and get a following. So when I would put like Instagram videos out, I wouldn't even think of haters, Like it wasn't even on my mind at that time because I was just delusional, Like I didn't think anyone would dislike me until I went on reality TV and then I was like, oh, okay.

Again, yeah you can be just like on a nice, big level. So you met on Summer YouTube, met on Summer House.

We met like the year prior, but like very briefly. But yeah, then we re met on Summer House and became and best friends.

We were the two new girls, so like you walk into an already established like friend group, and we were so scared. Yeah, and like we've never shot reality TV before, so we had this kind of trauma bond. But you know when you look at another girl and you make eye contact and you're like, oh, she's on the same page as me, Like this is fucking crazy, And so it really was a trauma bond that I think makes people closest.

Yeah, I mean reality TV is pretty traumatizing for all of the people who are subjected, for the people who were on it, and then for them people who view it. It's trauma all the way around. Yeah, it's a full circle moment.

My favorite thing is when I meet people who like watch whatever show we were on and they're like, you guys, just like make me feel so good about my life on service.

Paige and I we were reality TV fans. Like again, like I would watch Fando Pump Rules when I had a bad day and I was like, Okay, at least like my best friend didn't punch me in the face for sleeping with Jacks, Like that was how I went to bed at night.

Yeah, I want to circle back to the delusion part because you talk about it to Hannah in the chapter they they h speak on everything in both Chaps and and they both God, fuck this cores light is really hitting me.

I was gonna say the book has made you dumber. She's like, you, guys didn't form one full sentence in that book.

No, but talk because I.

Love this idea and I think more people should subscribe to him. You know, regardless of what medium you work in, Like, it is really good just to be have your dreams at the front and center of your mind and really believe in yourself and have blind faith in yourself, because if you don't believe in yourself, there's not going to be anybody else who believes in yourself.

And that works.

It's like, yeah, you know, it's like faking it till you're making it, but it really that also works.

I believe. You know, We've always been obsessed with seeing like how people make it, and I realized, like the first step is that person alone, somewhere has to decide that they can do it. If you don't at least decide you want to do it, you can never make it.

Yeah, And I think, like I think Hannah is very much like that's the other part of our book, like we are best friends. I wouldn't do half the things I do if I didn't have Hannah, Like I would never go and do like a live tour, Like I don't know how you guys do stand up like on by yourself on the stage, Like that makes me so anxious and so like when we do our like live shows, I would not be able to do it without her, like knowing she's on the stage with me.

Yeah, you talk about having a panic attack before one of the shows, right, And when you guys go on stage, you're not page you're not doing stand up, right, you guys are just doing your podcast or no.

It's like a I mean, we're doing the same show at every show, but it's it's ad lib of us in our podcast format, but it's like segments like we do.

A power point. The power points are hilarious.

It's, oh my god, what a nightmare to create a power point. Oh it's like, my worst nightmare is to be in an office and have someone tell me that I have to start that I have to create a power point.

Chelsea, we have a gen Z doing child Labor who made the PowerPoint for us. We didn't make the power point, but it's so funny to just press the next slide and there's like a funny photo. It's really good comedy, really high level. But with Page she's hysterical, and I think I saw that in her. But she jokes, She's like, I would never do stand up because I don't want to stand for an hour, which is just that's why we're best friends, because we're different in those ways.

When what what was I gonna say?

Every brain cell has been burnt. I'm fighting in my life where but Chelsea, even like what you've done and with stand up, like there wasn't women in late night talk shows everywhere to see like you had to first consciously decide that can be me, and and you didn't. No one like forced you into it. It was you and then even women doing stand up like us taking up space is us having to be brave and not caring what people think.

Yeah, absolutely, you kind of you do.

I mean it's it's a hard it's hard to navigate because people assume that if you are acting in a brave way, you don't give a shit what anyone thinks.

That's not true.

Of course you care what people think. A human we're all human beings. Yeah, we all get our feelings. Her we feel like we're not good enough at certain points in our lives. I was telling Paige Hannah before while you were trying to figure out how to work a microphone, I was telling Paige how much I liked the pictures of her in the book as a young girl, because she looks like a young woman at like six years old. She looks like a little like a woman like her.

Because I look at that site, I get all.

These other little Asian babies sent to me and then but some of them are AI where they have long hair and makeup and they have like a briefcase, and you're like, where are they going to?

You know, like women like little women.

I don't want babies, but I do want little as.

I love looking at babies, Oh God, I love them, especially real big ones, you know, like when they're oversized.

Yeah, oversized.

I just don't understand why anybody ever has a thin baby.

The whole point is to have meat, you know what I mean.

You have you need the meat to grow rolls, and you want to be snugly, Like who wants to snuggle with a little skinny baby?

Nobody?

And if I have to carry it around, I want to get a workout into yeah, you.

Know, like I'm not just And also hide food in it, you know, in its little roles or whatever.

Use it for storage.

I want to see. I wanted to jiggle when it laughs. But Page was a limited to She was a limited to model, like she was the girl.

In the magazine Your Baby, Well you were Your baby was a limited edition baby.

No. I was like the fabio of teen novels. Like when I was twelve to fourteen, I was on every teen novel cover.

Never read one of them?

No?

Oh really really? Yeah?

Oh interesting, So you were, Oh that's so funny. How many teen novels can they put you on?

Oh my god, I was on like fifteen of them, as different characters are the same.

Yeah, so that's really stupid, but I'm glad you made money doing that.

Let's talk about decentering men, because there's a lot of people sitting that have issues or thinking about ways in which we can handle men.

And now we're living in a.

Time where women, I think in general, are pretty sick of men. It's pretty much out like the cats out of the bag that you know, you've really got to step it up to be respected. And there are great men out there that that do step it up and do like stand with women.

But there's a lot of things that overshadow that. So we're having a loser epidemic for sure. Yeah, what do you think that's about. I don't know.

I saw there was like a study or something like the rate of how many more women are graduating college and own houses and how like it's society TikTok.

Yeah, society has society hasn't caught up.

That, like men need women more for marriage because like we don't need them anymore for financial support, and so I just think it's so funny that like the world hasn't won't admit that, but like we may.

Their lives so much better, you know.

Well, also it's just because we don't need we don't need them for those things anymore. We don't need them to buy the house anymore, and we don't not we don't need their financial input. So it kind of leaves men with like, Okay, now you have to actually show us what other valuable things you can contribute because that's not a necessity, and they're like, wait, what, like what

We're a big proponent of like being single is so much better than being in a relationship that isn't the right fit. Where I think there was a time where it was like just being in a relationship and being picked or chosen by a man meant you were successful. And then we realized like, oh no, that could actually be so much worse for your mental health. And we Paige and I are both guilty of being boy crazy. And I used to make so many decisions based on well,

Yeah, I once pretend to be into the Grateful Dead.

I was dating this guy named Brett and he was a dead he loved the dead, and he was from Jersey was and I just pretended that I was a dead head, like I was like, oh god, I fucking love them. I've been to like forty shows. I've just made up cities that I had seen them in. So ridiculous.

First of all, I was lying to him about my age too.

I think I was seventeen at the time, because he was a twenty he was like twenty eight, So I lied and said I was twenty one and I hadn't even been to half of the places that I, you know, pretended I had been. And then when we got there, I was like, oh my god. Like I tried to listen to one of their albums before the Clausner, like I was.

Gonna pick up all of them. There's all there's like no fucking lyrics to their song.

I was just fucked up at these shows, you know, it's like, oh, Scott, I.

Was doing a lot of crowd work about like what's something you pretended to like for a man? And the comments were so funny, like girls would yell Anal his parents, Harry Potter, it was everything. And look, I appreciate a man with a hobby. I do like them being busy, and I do like you learning from a man, but just making sure that you're not he's he's attracted to you for who you are and for who he is, yeah.

Right, and also finding out if we like them, like, yes, it's not an audition.

You're auditioning for me. I am not auditioning for you.

I had this friend who set me up recently with a guy, and I wasn't into him, and she's like, oh god, I go thanks for setting me up.

But that's not it gonna work.

You know.

There was a couple things that I just was were boner killers immediately, which is almost anything with me these days, and and she was like, God, I find him so hot. I'm like, well that's the problem. Then you fucking go out with him? What do you find him so hot? So you wanted to vicariously fuck him through me?

So what are you doing? Then you state him?

I do live vicariously through page though. Now she's single, and I'm like, what are we doing? And She's like, now doing a life going? How single life going?

Page?

Honestly, I haven't really like I haven't felt like I've gotten to enjoy it because I've been doing so much and I and that's actually probably the best part about being single. Being home by myself on a Saturday night, I fucking love it. Like there's I've never gotten bored by myself.

Yeah, I'm with you on that. I'm with you on being alone. When I'm in Whistler, I like to get into bed at around seven thirty.

Yeah, And like being being in my thirties and being single it's so I was really nervous. I was like, because I mean, when I was twenty five, I was like, oh, I'll obviously be married by my early thirties. And now that I'm thirty two and I'm single, I'm like, I couldn't imagine I would not I don't think I would like it.

I'm not ready. I already know I'm not ready. Yeah, well, that's great that you know that.

So talk about decentering men though you guys never answered that question. Oh yeah, stay focused, Okay.

I just want to ask Chelsea questions about her life. No, de centering men is so so important. We have a whole part of the book where it's like list all these things that don't involve a dude. It's kind of like the Bechdel test, where like being conscious that you're not making all your decisions based on if a guy likes you, and page you remember your therapist what she said to you about like how you sometimes wait for men to choose you.

Yeah.

I had a therapist one time tell me that, like I've never picked my own boyfriend, and it just kind of like hit me, and I mean she was exactly right, and I was like, I couldn't ever get that. Yeah, I've never gotten over it. I'm like, oh my god, I haven't picked a single one of them. They've all picked me, and I've just like gone along with it. And when I was first going on a reality show, I was dating a guy and he said to me, if you go on this reality show, I'll never speak

And you know we are that. I feel like that last generation that had the Disney movies of like the Prince is going to save you, And I feel like it's important to have that relationship where you find the guy who on paper is everything you want, Like he's tall, he's charming, he's successful, but he's not right for you. And like, to me, that was signing a deal with

Yeah.

I think that it's interesting what we are willing to kind of like give away of ourselves as women for not just men, for lots of things. Like you're willing even when you meet a new friend. Sometimes you'll pretend you're interested in things. I have a friend who is different depending on who she's hanging out with. Yeah, I mean she's not a close friend obviously, because I fucking hate that shit.

Oh you hate children? I hate children? Like, yeah, you know somebody.

Who changes their temperature based on who they're speaking to. And I think women could do that a lot because we just always are trying to please people. But it is very empowering to finally sit step back as a woman at whatever age you are, and realize, oh, actually, I'm the one, like I have to choose. I'm choosing to be your friend, I'm choosing to be going on a date with you, and being the one that is behind those choices.

Yeah, people around you, I'm just saying therapy speak now. But Paige and I have been deep in therapy.

People. Do you guys go to therapy together? Because you should.

We have had a lot of podcast duos. Do Paige and I weirdly don't fight about anything, Like.

Okay, that's not weird at all, by the way, that's.

What we thought about one thing, and I haven't really let it go. Hannah, Yeah, that was fucked up. That day we hosted the Vanity Fair oscar red carpet and I had a dress on that had a slit on my right side, and so like you should have thought about and so like I really needed to stand on a certain side. But it's Hannah's bad side. Paige doesn't have a bad side, and she wouldn't let me stand on that side, and I death stared her at the entire time.

Oh yeah, which is your good side, Hannah?

My left side is good side. The other side is like monster monster, Yes, I yeah, it's yeah, yeah, Page.

You don't seem like you have a bad side.

So that's why I was like, you have a slit in your little princess dress, bitch, get to your side. I don't want to she from.

She looked at me like she was my child and like I was sending her off to summer camp for seven months. Like she looked at me and she was like, I'll literally die if you make me stand on the side.

And it's like we're very.

Like low priority friends, like you know those friends were they're always looking for a problem, like you know, you can't make dinner, and they're like you always do, like they make things into bigger things.

Where we're low maintenance friends.

We're very low maintenance friends. Yeah.

Yeah, it's really but it's really hard to have high maintenance friends in this you know, in this climate, in this political climate climate, it's hard to stay in touch with anybody.

We're fighting for a fuck lives right now. Save yourself.

You girls talk a lot. We are we are fighting for our lives.

You girls talk a lot about we're about to just be disenfranchised from voting completely, so especially married people. So there you go, Hannah again, another wing Winter Winter Winter. You guys talk a lot about being nervous, like and you do so much. I mean, your social anxiety you talk a lot about and you talk about talking about that a lot, but you're both public doing public facing things.

So when you have that, how does that work?

How do you manage your social anxiety if you are a blocker?

Yeah, a per panet all.

Yeah, yeah, I gave I gave them on to my friend the other morning when she woke up. She had done mushrooms the night before, and she was all anxious the next day. And you know, sometimes mushrooms hit weird. You guys don't do enough drugs. I feel like your generation is it doesn't do enough drugs.

So I don't know, we're mollis. We've done drugs, but gen Z they don't.

Yeah, that's the generation. They don't do. Even their teen pregnancy rate is even down.

Yeah, they're not even their parents' basement.

They're not even sneaking out.

They're not even getting fingered on the side of their leg.

They're using therapies week. How do you get fingered on the side of your leg.

When you're like, you know what, You're like fourteen and he has no idea what he's doing, and you're like, that feels so good, and then you tell your friends you're like, We're like, we had the best time.

That's my thigh.

Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back with Hannah and Page.

If you'd like advice from Chelsea, right into us at Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love to hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on, and this week we're especially looking for questions about dating. If you are dating, if you're single, if you have issues with someone that you just met, if you have issues with someone that you've been dating for a while, please write in at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.

And we're back with Hannah and Paige from the Gigly Squad. We're talking about their new book, How to Giggle Catherine. We're going to take some callers and you guys could give your sagacious advice.

All right, well, our first question is just an email she's not joining us, but it comes from Carrie, she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to ask an etiquette question regarding my nephew's wedding. The wedding invitations arrived and my grown daughter, twenty seven years old was invited. However, her partner, with whom she shares a home and a child, was not included.

That's weird. I thought the rule was over eighteen you get a plus one.

Well, not everybody invites you with a plus one because but if you know somebody has a partner, they should be invited. Yeah, and they have a fucking baby together.

That is weird.

I would say something. I would say something, but I say something about everything. So yeah, what do you girls think I would say something?

It's worth it. It would throw it out. There was this the mom by the.

Way, this is the mom. Yeah, the daughter, this is the mom.

Get your mom to call her. Yeah, to deal with that exactly for sure.

But also lose the baby. Don't include the baby in that invitation. Nobody wants them there.

I do think mom sometimes want to like make it more drama than it actually is. Like it might actually have just been an oversight. Maybe someone was helping with the invitations and left off, you know, so I mean act like, oh, maybe this was just an oversight, like they.

Yeah, yeah, but definitely bring it up.

Yeah, all the wedding stuff. Weddings have become like I hate to use this word, but shoo gee. Like it almost feels like weddings have become like handmaid's daily to me. I don't know.

They have a certain like eeriness to them.

The dad walking you down the aisle and.

The like, Yeah, he's like very outdated in my opinion. Weddings it's like, let's a date, this exactly exactly. I felt awkward during mine, but it was fun mm hmm. Okay, you keep telling yourself that, Hannah, I'm going to be divorced by just back out.

It was like the night I decided to try whiskey sours for the first time, and I was like, I love these.

Oh my god.

I did that at my sister's wedding. I was like sixteen years old. I went up to the bartender. We were on Martha's vineyard, and I was like, what is a drink that is going to fucking get me fucked up? I was sixteen in my Laura Ashley bridesmaid dress and the like long Island iced tea I had seven. My father carried me up to my sister's honeymoon sweet and put me in bed at like seven thirty at night and said, don't come down to the wedding again. That's when I fell in love with alcohol.

I was like, I could use this to avoid weddings then for sure.

And you get carried, that's amazing. I want to get carried everywhere. We actually in my wedding, we planned for page to catch the bouquet, so we like fully cheated, like fully like quarterback, like I called the shots. But it's now, and.

Really just because I didn't want anyone else to catch it, not because I wanted to get married next.

I was just like, no one's catching my best friend's bouquet, right, well.

That's now this video is going viral of the bouquet being thrown and all these girls running away from it. Like that's the theme now, Like I don't want to get married next.

That's cute. I like that.

Yeah. Who Yeah, try not to get hit with the bouquet is the new game there. You just try to peg your friends like dodgeball.

Yes, exactly, like tag you're it. That's actually that's an ominous. Yeah, it's an ominous warning.

Yes.

Well, our next caller is Nora, and she had a toxic X reached back out to her, so she says, Dear Chelsea, I had one of the most heartbreaking breakups last summer, a couple of days before my birthday. It all started with me going out sailing with my boyfriend, having a great time, about to say I love you to him for the first time, when he stopped me mid sentence and said, don't say it. And then long story short, she got wasted and got in banned from

Nora, I love your voice. I could listen to you read stories.

I feel like all the thanks Page, Hi, Nora, how are you Hi?

Yeah?

I was surprised.

Yes, this is Noura Dipsy doodles, my god, Hello, Laura, say hello to Page and Hannah.

I love you guys.

I listened Squad literally every week, and my friend got freak out. I like, I'm so glad you guys are a guest because literally obsessed with your guys.

Thank you so much. I thought you were a producer was like.

Gonna fire us. He thought you were on assumed to fire us, and Chelsea was just surprising us.

She's an interventionist. We're intervening, but this is about your marriage, Hannah. She's actually, this isn't a podcast, Paige, tell her what we're doing.

Yeah, Norah's like, I'm does a secret family.

You need to fucking wake up, Nora. First of all, okay, you do not You cannot be attracted to men who treat you badly. This is a condition and if you don't learn it now, you're gonna continue to learn this over and over and over again. You he is not worthy of you. No man who treats you that way is worthy of you. And regardless of what happened, and like posting on Instagram that all of that is garbage,

Ten minutes after you spoke.

Is somebody who's actively trying to her your feelings and you're saying that you like that.

The girl who's dating was like, Okay, we need to you need to post something because like we need Like she was feeling insecure that I was still talking to him, But I'm like, all you need to do is just text me and say hey, I'm seeing someone and like we can't talk anymore, instead of just post on Instagram, which he knew is what I wanted for the next month.

This is all like, I want to take everything he said to you, everything he said to you, all of your communication, put it in a big plastic garbage bag over your head, and throw it out the fucking window because none of the details matter. Nothing you said to him and he said to you, You're like you're focusing on the minutia of it, and this like what did you say and what did he say? It doesn't matter. He's a piece of garbage. He doesn't respect you, and

Yes, and I have had long term relationships where I've had boyfriends that treating me with respect, and I mean, sometimes it's just not the right place or they're a little bit boring. I guess I do like the drama a little bit, but.

We understand playing games. Paige and I love games and we love getting obsessed with the guy who never lets you fully have him. But as someone who's very competitive, the way you really win is not getting him. The way you win is him never having access to you ever again and going and crushing it. That's you want him to look at his phone and be like, I fuck up with her, and that's the win.

Hannah like, if I I also love a little bit of toxic, Like I get the fun of like back and forth and back and forth, and I get like that can be exciting until it gets to a point where it's just too much. And I used to do this thing where I would like blo them and be like, Okay, they'll never see me again. And then Hannah was like,

And to see you. He can't even be in the same room as yeah, like that's winning him. Him choosing you and then fucking it up later is just waste your time.

Yeah, And I went to Japan and like he was supposed to come and like he got to seal the photos he missed out on. I went for two weeks. I went on like a solo chip to Puerto Rico, and that's when he saw it and was like, oh fuck, like she's having an amazing time, Like yeah, I miss her. And I'm like, yeah, I know.

You can't meet a new guy unless you also like close it with him. I'm about that with careers too, Like you have to really close the door for other doors to open. And I think you should torture him by never talking to him again.

But just posting like my travel and yeah.

Yeah.

But just also as a like an ethos to yourself, you have to like make a promise to yourself that you're not going to be that's beneath your set of standards, Like you want your standards here and people need to meet them, especially if you're going to be dating them, and that's just the way it has to be.

Yeah, don't engage.

And it did take six months to like really like work on myself and like not date anyone, and like I got to meet therapists and everything. So I feel like I really learned how to be on my own without dating because I was always dating someone or having questioned someone because it's fun. But I was like, well, I need to learn to just like be okay with my career, my friends and like but myself and as the hardest part is always a learning process.

Yeah, but then you're going to realize like, oh oh that that actually brings you so much more and long term, like.

Your career and your friendships are going to be there for you.

You know.

So throughout all these guys, however many men you end up dating in your life, and there will be more, you know, multiple people, hopefully you're not you know, like that's that's a nice thing to have variety and have different experiences. But yeah, I would say put all your energy into your work and into your friendships and into your family, and that's where you're gonna get the light back.

Not from as much fun as it is to like have that toxic relationship. Sometimes it's so much more fun when someone's obsessed with you, Like I really do believe that the guy has to like the girl more, and I love that, you know, I love when they're Also.

There's nothing hotter than a guy who's like playing games with you and you don't actually know what he's like, Like you're making up in your head how great this guy is. That girl's bored with him.

Yeah, Like anytime I see an ex with a new girlfriend, I'm like, I feel so bad for her. She's like a week away from realizing this guy fucking sucks.

Well he broke up with her after two months because he's like, oh, yeah, I was wrong.

Leave him out to dry, leave him to dry. Sorry I'm yelling, Chelsea.

Okay.

It's like I'm like to the girl singers like, oh no, like it did, Like it didn't work out.

I was wrong.

She's actually like talking to him just yeah, how tall is he? I need to know? I literally need to.

Yeah that.

Would you even be responding no?

Which is also let's fast forward to it actually did work out and you're in the kitchen with him one day, and he's annoying you, and you hate how he breathes, and you remember how he didn't even choose you the first time around. You'll hit him with a kitchen knife, you know, Like this is not good.

What's up with a pet in your hand? Are you journal? You always tell people write stuff down that I was.

I was, I was gonna take notes, but it turned into hearts.

And you're gonna take notes on She doesn't know what she's talking about.

Honestly ridiculous.

It makes me look official.

Ura, Thanks for calling in. You need to get your ship together. Okay, like, no more of this bullshit.

Okay, okay, everything else is good.

Yeah, everything else is good. But like, don't obsess over this guy. I know that's easier said than done, but you just hurt us. Like that's a waste of your time. You're better than that.

Okay, bye, okay, okay, okay.

We love you. Wait, Chelsea, look at my sweat that This is what men do to me. I got pissed at us. Call Hannah.

Looks like both of her under arms water just broke.

She's sweating like she has diarrhea from under her arms.

Oh my god.

Okay, it's actually a disease, Chelsea, So you should be more sensitive because hyperhydros disease called hypo something.

Anyway, what who Okay? Our next caller is Joe Well.

Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty seven year old single woman looking for some advice on how to embrace and fully enjoy my single life. For most of my life I yearn to be in a relationship. But thanks to therapy and You're Insightful podcast, I've come to realize that being single can bring me immense joy. Recently, I've found happiness and simply enjoying life, pursuing hobbies, traveling solo, making the

At Joell?

Hi, Joelle, Hi, Hi, Hi. This is Paige and Hannah, our special guest today.

Hi Joell.

Hi, guys.

This is so great you guys. I'd like perfect to give me advice.

Yeah, seriously, I feel like we need to start a forum. I mean, there must be some forums out there for people who don't have children who need to band together. Right, there should be some sort of where you can meet people in your community who also have these same ideas

Important to you.

But yeah, there's plenty of people out there that are doing exactly what you're doing that don't that that aren't into that lifestyle.

But how do you go about? Where do you live? I'm in Toronto, Okay, well that's great.

Well that's a big city, so that's going to be that's not that's not that. I think you just have to like get outside of your comfort zone and like

Like, like where do you what do you like to do?

No?

I do?

I like I obviously like exercising, and I love like going to concert and things. I guess like it's just that, like I'm thirty eight. So it's just at the point of like, Okay, I guess my friends have kids and they're like in the younger age, so I know that, like yels will get easier for them to like want to hang out. But this is like the age where

To kind of do the activities I want to do.

I think you wait for your friends to get divorced. They will soon give it.

Started flying their husbands, yes and or back. That's a nice idea. That's a great idea. You guys, have you done that? You thought about doing that? Joel? You know what, I'll think about it.

I'll about it. No. I do think making friends as an adult, Joel is so hard and weird. But what Chelsea's saying is, I feel like there's so many people just like you, like there needs to be an app or something made and there. Paige literally sent me a meme today talking about how these later in life. Friends you make could be so special because they're like meeting you when you're fully evolved. And what it sounds like,

Yeah, are you on like dating apps or how are you meeting people?

I am not on day y Ops, there's just the world. I know, I know, but it's yeah, I know, I know.

We're talking about friends and she you know, she's saying that she's not that the dating thing isn't the priority for her.

I think, right Joelle, it's friends.

Oh exactly. If I meet someone, that's great. But like right now, I'm just like I'm good being single. I just end my life and just not have like any boy drama for now.

Yeah.

I respect that and that's fine.

Like you can take a cooking class, you know, you can like kind of just like bounce around to do different things that may seem like corny or whatever, or like out you know that you wouldn't normally do, or even if it feels like it's a couple's thing, like you go like sign up for some hiking class or some like short you know, five mile like running.

Chelsea wants you to hike so bad. I don't keep saying hike it.

Whenever I think about things group activities, I think of hikers.

Actually, one of my friends randomly joined like took a battles anonymous, like like just like wanted to take ballet and just like see what it was like.

And she was obsessed with it.

And she met like this whole group of girls that like can't do ballet, and now they hang out like outside of ballet instead.

There's something about getting older where you get connected to your and your child again, where you're like, wait, what did I love to do? Or what do I want to do? And Paige and I were starting this new thing called hobbies. We never did it before. It's very difficult, but trying, Like like what Chelsea was saying, random things that you think you might like, it's so easy to make friends while you're like doing pottery. You're like I like your pot, and she's like I like your pot.

Yeah? Right right?

But also just like expand your surround you know, like broad in your horizons, Like do you just get out and do some things that you haven't done in a while, and with the vibe that you're down and ready to make some new friends, and you're going to attract people just by having that kind of energy, very positive, upbeat, optimistic, just like looking for new connections.

I've made tons of friends.

I just turned fifty and I when I was forty, I made a whole new group of friends when I moved to Whistler, when I bought a place in Whistler. I have like ten super close girlfriends that live here now in addition to my regular rotary. Like, so you're never going to stop making friends. And while it might be like an awkward attempt in the beginning, it's a

It's really in the vibe that you're putting out.

That's true.

And actually like second part to that, like and I feel like you guys probably like I don't know if you have that issue, but like on the money aspect, when you're making those friends, like sometimes that is hard to be like hey, like I kind of like nice things and want to got to nice dinners, but then other people are kind of like, oh, I don't have

Well, it's good, that's a good question.

It is a great question.

It's I mean, you know, in my situation, I just pay for everyone all the time.

But I know that's not because I don't want to fucking hear about splitting checks. I don't ever want to hear about that.

It's like just I would pay them extra money to not hear that conversation, but I understand that's not a reality for everyone. I would just be sensitive to other people's financial situations and be like, yes, if you don't have to cut someone off because they can't afford to go to No Boo with you, but you can just be mindful and go to somewhere, go somewhere with them that is a little bit less expensive, and save Noboo for your friends who are in the same kind of

You could go play pickleball. People love pickleball. I know, I know.

I feel that's the way about pickleball too. Hannah likes pickleball. No pickleball, I know, I'm kidding. She's a proper tennis player.

Yeah, so are you, ChEls. But I do like having specific friends for things like you love sushi, you have your girl you always hit up when you want to go to sushi, or you have your like girl who likes to do yoga with you or something. So that's okay too. I think to have those people that you pick for different events.

Right well, well, we're just focusing on getting her some new friends. Okay, so not right now, she doesn't have fifty to choose from. We want to make her go out and get these friends and then yes, and then you can pick ones for specific activities.

Chelsea, how do you approach people if you want to be their friend?

What do you do if I want to be someone's friend?

Yeah, I'm full full right now, I don't have room do I'll give you some of my friends, Joel, do you want that?

The rich one? I?

Joelle is like, I want some sugar daddies, sugar mama, sugar mamas.

Sometimes when I meet someone and I don't have time for them, like the bandwidth, I give them to my sister.

I'm like, I have a new friend that wants a lot from me.

Do you want her.

To my Sister's like, I like her, I'll take her once I did invite a bunch of people to a dinner, including Page, and then I didn't show up, so Paige had to hang out with them.

Oh I love that.

I love that.

That was the craziest move I got.

I got a cough.

I had it all arranged and Joel.

In the meantime, with your existing friends that you have, you know, be be flexible about spending time with them when they can, you know, so that you're not missing them too.

And I understand when people.

Have little children it's really difficult to make those kinds of arrangements and it is kind of taxing. So but you know, don't count them out. You know, you can go and hang out over them. I know you don't want to hang out with the kids all the time, but like, you know, just be a little bit bendable so that it works both ways.

Yeah.

No, for sure, that's definitely something I can do.

Yeah, okay, so what's what are you gonna do?

Now?

What's what's your plan?

Well, I guess I'm mean I go find new friends. I won't do I won't do ballet, but I do I do started playing tennis, So I think that's great.

Yeah, that's so fun. A doubles league. You meet so many people, right, you could.

Join a tennis club. That's such a fun backdrop. It's like white lotus.

Yeah, okay, well killed but yeah no, ya, yeah, it's just like I guess it's just getting out of my comfort zone. And like it was like, maybe like, oh, do I wait it out a couple of years and you know when my friends get available? But yeah, no, as you mentioned, and I also read your book and I love that part in Whistler when you made all your new friends, like your skiing friends. So I was like, yeah, maybe I'm just in the part of my life where I can find like new single friends I want to do.

Like no, yeah, I'm always making friends, like seriously, I mean, I know I joke about not wanting anymore, but I'm always making new friends. And like, as you age, I think you get better at making friends and you also are more discerning about who you choose to be friends.

Very true, Harry, You're a better picker.

Yeah, so pick wisely, Joel, You're going to have lots of people wanting to be friends with you.

Amazing, And you have four new friends today. Where are your friends? Perfect?

Great, you're all in my hopefully in my back rackets.

Choosing friends financially, you have.

To friends based on their financial situation.

I mean, and I'll sie if I can make you.

Tax return and a therapy bill.

Yes, all right, Okay, have a great day.

Thanks Joe, bye, Chelsea. I love how you hold people accountable. You're like, so what are we doing when you leave this call?

Yeah?

I just feel like women need to know that, you know, you you do make friends as you go through life, like there, it's not like you just you make friends and then that part of your life it's yeah, yeah, and you have to be willing to, like, you know, do stuff that you don't want to do. Like I went mountain biking the other day. I mean, I didn't want to do that. No, I don't know what the point of me saying that is.

But I.

Bought my friends here.

The snow is not that great, and they're like, let's I so I had my boat bike. I flew my bike up and then they were like, okay, we're gonna take you mountain biking now because this is what we do when the snow is gone. And I'm like okay, And then I went mountain biking. I'm like, I don't really think this.

Is for me.

No, I'm so adventurous, I know, but I'll do it again because whatever.

It's like. My friends like to do that, so I'll do it with them.

You know, like you want to be like malleable, you're not like rigid. I will only do this. I only like to do this. I hate when people are like that.

Yeah, it's not. Some people have like friend groups since they were like in elementary school, which I was always jealous of.

But then I was just gonna say that. Yeah, no, I have a friend.

I have a friend who she and her nine friends have been friends their entire lives. They're like, they're all forty four and they've been together and it's so beautiful and nice. But they all have other groups of friends too.

You have to. You have to. Yeah, I went to three different high schools, so I've always like.

Well, we know why that happened.

We're going to take a break and we'll be right back with Hannah and Paige. And we're back with Hannah and Paige. Page Disorbo and Hannah Berner wrote a new book.

They wrote it together.

They actually wrote the book together, which is called How to Giggle. And they're from the Giggly Squad, which is your podcast that everybody loves and everybody loves to giggle.

And Chelsea, we were very inspired by your books. Yeah, your books.

Well, I didn't see that when you shouted out to all of the icons in the book, I didn't see my name there.

So that's funny. You're on the back cover.

That's funny you say that I saw Barbara Corkoran on there, but I didn't see.

Hannah's obsessed with Barbara Corkoran.

It's I have her name referenced outside of that show ever, Barbara Kor talking about.

This working alone, Chelsea, you have to have her on the pod.

I have to find out who she is. Is she the blonde woman from Tank with the short hair?

She's a pip. You would like her. But Chelsea, we got you to give a quote on the back. That was the only quote I wanted, was Chelsea, I.

Don't know that because I got the book electronically. Hannah souk Off. Okay, so there is no quote from me anywhere to be found.

Do you know what your quote is? Do you know what it is?

What does it say?

It says? I met them once.

Chelsea, that was before I even met Paige.

Yeah, one of them.

One of them. I met half of them once I forgot I forgot what it was.

Okay, well, Catherine, what else do we have we want to close up with some I do.

Have one little quickie. If you're okay on time, gals, we'll hit it hard. So this comes from m She says, Dear Chelsea, I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year. He's extremely attentive to my emotions, patient, passionate about his interests, driven and successful. Problem is he's a slob. Not only are the surfaces in his house always sticky, full of crumbs and cluttered, but he often forgets to shower after the gym and never puts the toilet seat down after peeing.

I love him a lot.

He's emotionally mature in ways I've never seen in a man. But will his messiness and general lack of awareness about things that aren't emotional in nature break us up?

It's never going to work.

Should it? Am?

I missus frustrated? It's over trained. Find a man who's pre trained.

I'm not so gross.

I once dated a guy who had a funky smell that came from his gut. I'm assuming, and he didn't smell at in the daytime or at night, but in the mornings, I was like, I can't deal with the smell.

Like it was strong.

It was like this his bio bio gnome mom, whatever whatever it was it was. It doesn't go away. Smells don't go away. When someone doesn't, he's like a It's like a feral cat.

This guy.

Also, I feel like nothing I'm married or like, wouldn't know when it's like living with someone or whatever. But I feel like it is those like little day to day things that like keep you together. So like yeah, he can be emotionally intelligent, but like he thinks, Yeah, and I.

Care if he's ambitious. He's a literal skunk that's running wild in your apartment.

Yeah, unless you're planning on removing your nose, Like you have to move on.

And find a different partner.

I also have a theory that you will fall in love with your your partner's natural scent and like you too have like a similar smell. I don't know I made that up, but I feel like it's a no.

I think when you when it is, when there is good chemistry, then the smell is good.

You.

Yeah, what you smell is smells good to you when there is natural But clearly that's not working because he's Yeah.

Like you get less UTIs and stuff with the right guy.

Oh god, haranging uti right now.

Yeah, that's kind of a thing where like sometimes you're like smells don't work together and like you got right know or whatever. I will also say, some of this smacks a little bit of undiagnosed ADHD, So like get him tested and get him on something and see if that changes. That might be your last ditch effort.

Oh yeah, medicate him, Yeah, medicate him and then maybe he'll start wiping his ass.

I mean maybe, who knows. And also like he doesn't get to kiss you if he hasn't showered, if he's stinky.

I mean he could hire a cleaning lady. But the not showering thing, that's like, yeah, I don't know if you're changing that a person.

Whenever we do advice, I always envision it's the same people. So like, this is the guy who started dating a new girl, and this new girl is calling it about how he smells.

That's a great eye.

That's a great idea for a podcast, actually, Hannah, Okay, well, that was an upsetting way to end this episode.

That was not what we wanted to go out with. But that's okay.

I think it's apropos for our guests today.

Paige.

I don't mean to be so cutting towards you. This is only directed towards Hannah.

Okay.

I don't know you well enough to treat you this way, so I just want you to know that is all. Hannah.

No, it is such a privilege to get harassed by Chelsea Handler. I want to do it all day long.

Do put your arms up for a sec will you please? Both arms? Both arms.

There we go okay, and we're wrapped for today. Have a great day, girls, everybody. You can go get how to giggle at your local bookstore, local bookseller.

Go buy your books and bookstores. People do do.

Do do do drum roll, Catherine, please, Chelsea Handler abroad. Abroad is my European tour. So I'm coming to obviously find.

A husband abroad.

I need to get the help out of this fucking country, and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Rekuvik. I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.

In May and June.

I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona and Lisbon.

I'm coming abroad. Is abroad that sounds like fun.

I'm gonna go see I I know I want to go see me abroad and there there, I'll be there.

I'll be excellent. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

Right into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com