Best Of Dear Chelsea: Lindsey Vonn

Oh, hello, good afternoon.

Buenos tardes, I mean buenos I don't even know what I mean.

I'm so sick of my bell correcting me in my fucking Spanish.

I mean, like, she corrects everything I say, but she's not correcting me to speak proper Spanish. She speaks slang Spanish admittingly. She says to me, well, this is how we speak in Mexico. And I'm like, great, but I'm trying to learn Spanish for Spain and true. And I also don't want to point out that I don't ever correct her fucking English, never and never say oh no that words, those words go in the opposite direction or anything. But she is riding me like a wave. Oh my gosh,

Putting up these barriers? Uh?

And she just loves it, though, But I gotta give it to her, like I know that that must be satisfying for her to be able to correct me all the time, tell me what to do. And you asked her to it, Well, yeah, I said I wanted to speak Spanish.

You could let me slide a little bit with my grammar.

But you know what I love. I'm such a grammarian. I care so much about grammar that I really want. I want to speak proper Spanish anyway, It's just it's too much of a beginner's Spanish to be there yet.

Yea, what have I learned this week? I learned about Cuba and sugar.

Oh, tell me about well, you know, after this, I learned all about Spain.

Oh.

I have to promote a show April twenty. It's Spokane. That's the second show we added in Spokane. It's not quite sold out, so please buy your tickets, you motherfuckers. And what other shows do I need to promote? Well, they're all really almost sold out. Red Rocks Amphitheater. That one's not sold out yet. Red Rocks Amphitheater. That's a big one, that's like.

Ten thousand people.

I can't so yeah, go to Chelsea Heler dot com. There are some tickets for some other shows. But yeah, and I'm going to add a whole bunch of new dates I think.

Sometime this month.

Yeah, fantastic.

It's so hard to figure out where I am.

I thought I was in Cuba, So I learned all about the Spanish conquering Cuba and then the English conquering Cuba, and then they had a treaty and they gave Cuba back to Spain, and then they kept Florida, and then they kept the Lower Mississippi some areas around there, and then they discovered sugar during the Atlantic slave trade, which was started by the English.

I'd like to say that, make sure.

We keep that mentioned so that people fucking understand history, because I am so confused about so many things. I was like, well, didn't we all come from Egypt to my brother one day He's like, no, you asshole, And so now I'm reading a book.

Then we all came from Africa. Everybody came from Africa. Yeah, So anyway, the sugar.

Yeah, so Cuba was the center of sugar for a long time. Slaves were responsible for all of the prosperity of the United States, beginning the United States and basically taking all of the sugar cane, hacking it, cutting it, transferring it, blah blah blah.

And so that's when the Atlantic slave.

Trade peaked, was during the sugar I want to say rush, but I don't think it's called a rush.

I like calling it a sugar rush.

Yeah, sugar rush.

That's a different gun.

That's a difference. That's something too. So yeah, there's that.

And then I'm learning about Neanderthals and Denisovans and Anatolia and Homo erectus and how we all kind of changed and when we split off, like right before Homo erectus we split off, we diverged. One became chimpanzees and the other became modern humans. Oh my god, short history of humanity is called I need.

To read what you're reading, because like, as a kid who grew up going to Christian school, where we had let's say, a warped and abbreviated version of science, I didn't even know that like Pangaea existed until I was in college. I remember saying to a teacher once, why does it look like the two, you know, halves of the earth would fit together? And they're like, that's just a funny thing God did. Like that kind of stuff was what I grew up.

I also believed that we were Everything was connected, even the islands, and not all the islands like Sardinia Corsica were never part of the mainland.

They were just like they were volcanic.

Yes, yes, so they have their own thing going.

So that's interesting too that that would naturally happen, that there would be elands sprinkled everywhere.

You know, I mean, I guess I got such bad science education. I didn't even remember the word for continence. You know, the halves of the world. It's just wild.

Yeah, it is wild.

And you know, you know you read something and you retain. I'd be interested in my level of retainment. I want to take tests after every book I read to see how much I took in.

I think we're trying to send you back to college.

I wouldn't some sort of curriculum quite frankly, Okay, what do we got.

What's happening to me?

Well, Chelsea, I had had my.

Ski buddy on today, but I won't tell you that is until she's on.

That's very exciting. So, Chelsea, I had an email come in about Dana, who had called in her step son was being sort of vaguely creepy and yes, yes, and she mentioned like he was maybe being able to touch you peely with her son. And I just thought this email was so important that I wanted to share it with you. Heather says, hello, Chelsea, and Catherine, I wanted to say thank you for providing the audience with the mother that called in about her steps on she feels

I like how she said micro trauma because I learned about complex trauma from a friend of mine over the weekend who I hung out with, and he was telling me about complex trauma is trauma over time, right, like neglect or alcoholism or drug addiction, something like that that you lay witness to.

If you have a sibling that has a terrible.

Schizophrenia, that would be complex trauma, which is different than event trauma rights and PTSD is related to event trauma. But I want to underline the intuition part because more and more people are talking about intuition and understanding that it is a very concrete, if.

Not measurable thing.

And for every woman and man that is listening to all our gaze.

You all have it.

We all have intuition. We all have a feeling in our stomach and our gut. Sometimes it's in your heart, or it feels like in your heart, but it is really in your gut when you meet someone, and it's the exact opposite of the feeling you get when you know something's wrong, when somebody comes into your space a person and you know they're dangerous right away you see that they're sketchy, or that they're unhinged, or that they're unpredictable.

That feeling right there.

You can also have in the opposite way about something you should do, or somebody you should move towards, or a thing that is right, And if you really listen to yourself, you are going to know what that is. And we don't talk about intuition in the way that we need to, because young girls need to trust their intuition. They need to trust the way that their body feels, because your body will tell your brain what is happening.

And it is.

It's such a concrete thing. It's like you when you're in a certain situation or you're around someone who makes you uncomfortable, it turns into a physical reaction. Your stomach gets in and not your hair goes up on the back of your neck.

Like trust your changes. The way you're holding yourself and carrying yourself changes, like.

The body is communicating with you.

Yeah.

You know, sometimes I fold my arms when I'm in a conversation and I realize how off putting that is. Like that's the definition of being defensive, is having your arms, even if that's a comfortable position for you. That's how it's kind of received most of the time. And that's

Way or whatever.

But yeah, I think that's a great conversation for any parents listening to have with your young children. Yeah, following your gut. It is so important, especially with situations like the ones we're just talking about.

Where it's not illegal, it's not illicit, but it is something that is having an effect and an impact on that child or that adult. You know, this can happen

So okay, So who's our first guest Okay, our first guest.

We it's our only guest. I forgot that I'm not on a TV show right now. Our guest today.

Is a friend of mine, a good friend of mine, and she's an Olympic gold medalist and she's a skier. But before I introduce her, I really want to mention her philanthropy. She has a foundation called a Lindsay Vaughn Foundation, which empowers underserved girls with camps, scholarships and more. So please make sure you are aware of that and check it out. She wrote a great book which everyone should read.

It's called Rise.

Okay, please welcome Lindsay vat Ah.

There she is, Miss America.

I was hoping that I was gonna interrupt you your ski day today.

Where are you?

I'm in Orlando.

Oh yeah, you know. I have a dilemma.

Actually, I'm glad you brought up Florida because for my new tour, I was just on the phone with my agents this morning and they were going over routing for the fall dates that were going to announce later, and Florida was on the list. And I said, guys, I don't know about Florida anymore.

And they're like, well, do you really want.

To punish the people in Florida, Like you have people you every time you go, you go to like six stops of Florida. I'm like, no, I don't. I don't want to punish the people of Florida. They're being punished enough. But I feel like as a statement, I just have to say fuck off. Like when is enough enough? Like all of this legislation, Like I feel like DeSantis needs to know. Certain people aren't going to come. I'm sure

What are you doing in Orlando?

I'm speaking, you know, Apparently some people want my advice for some reason. I don't know.

I believe it. You're a champion. We were just watching your night race at k I'll say.

The streef, the streef in cloth kids, fool kids, puel kits.

Fuel Yes, kids fuel the strife. Yes, good job guys.

Yeah, and this video is of you skiing the world's hardest ski run. You were not only the first woman to do it, but you also did it in the dark, just to make it more insane. This video is crazy. I'll put a link to it in the show notes.

It's a hard one.

Honestly, I've not run into one American that has gotten it right so far. But it's okay. The effort was there. I appreciate you well.

It's also a hard line to ski. It's it's not even a line.

I don't even know what the fuck you would call what you do, but it is so so hardcore, it's so bad. As I mean, all my ski buddies from Whistler who are real ski you know, like they know how to ski and they are just like you have. When that video came out, we must have watched it like fifteen times. If you haven't seen it, she did it with Red Bull. You can watch it on Lindsay's Instagram, which you should be following her anyway, because you put.

Out great content.

I saw you powder skiing the other day and I wanted to ask you, how do you because if you spent your life training, you know, downhill and solom and all the stuff that you do, do you spend a lot of time in powder before you retire?

Oh No, I never powder skied because I was so worried that I would hurt myself. And some of the other athletes would go powder skiing, like if our race was canceled because of so much No, you know, definitely, I would say some of the girls would go, like people that are from California that grew up skiing powder, But I didn't grow up skiing powder. I'm from Minnesota. There's not one powder day in the entire season. It's

Yeah, powder skiing is really fucking fun. And you know what is so fun about it, or so funny about it is that when you learn how to ski technically, as Lindsay can speak to way more than I can.

But from what little I've gleaned.

Everything you learn about regular skiing goes out the window. When you ski powder, you know, you're not on an agle, you're not turning, You're bouncing like a bunny rabbit through the snow and just like hopping like boom boo boo.

Yeah, it's like leaning back. It's the exact opposite that any instructor would ever teach you. It's all just lean back and ride the wave. It's like surfing. It's pretty funny because your point is the exact opposite of what you've been told, what you've been taught, and just throw it all out the window. Yeah.

Yeah, Well you've been through a lot and you've been injured a lot, and I want to talk a little bit. I know you.

Lindsay wrote a.

Great book about her whole life, her autobiography, and in it you talk a lot about your recoveries from many different accidents, and I want to know obviously you were mentally tough. You couldn't survive all of this and continue to go back out there, especially what you just skied, and kidspoel like.

Why would you do that?

You said, I mean, I think you said you had like your surgery ready to go in case you did wipe out and hurt yourself.

Is that true?

Yeah, I mean I'm getting my knee replaced, so I figured this was a perfect time to do it, because if I crash and I need surgery, I'm getting it anyway, so I don't mind risking it. But I've had my fair share of surgeries. I mean, you've hurt your knee, you know, you know the deal. But I don't think it's ever impacted my passion for ski racing or for skiing in general. I just love the mountain. I just wish it had been a little bit easier on my body.

Well, let's talk about the mindset that allows you to do that, because you work out really hard, so I know your body's been beaten up, but you still have a significant amount of strength left and determination in order to keep all of that going, which I think is really vital for I think all women, you know what I mean, with like our physicality, It's like you get an injury and you can.

Be so down on yourself.

First of all, it's depressing and you're immobile, and then you're taking pills and you're you know, you're trying to recuperate and all of that is like a real negative downer on you. So to be able to pick yourself back up that from that, not once, but repeatedly is very admirable.

And to keep going.

You know, I know a lot of people who get into an accident, they don't want to ever do that thing again. And it's like, oh, I want to do that thing right away again because I don't want to be scared of it.

Yeah, exactly. I mean I think to your point, a lot of people can get down and I got very down. I mean I got really depressed when I was injured. I missed the Olympics. I was injured back to back acls, which took me out for almost two years in a row. And it's really hard to find anything positive, you know, when you especially when you repeatedly get injured, like what am I doing?

You know?

Why am I doing this? And it's hard to find the motivation. But I think for me it always goes back to passion, you know why I love ski racing and I've always had and that's why I kept doing it and kept coming back, but it doesn't make the recovery any easier. You know, it's always with rehab, it's always two steps forward, one step back, and sometimes one

And your transition since you've retired has been You're still really involved with the US ski team. You're still really involved in skiing. You're skiing with people all the time in Utah Vale or you know, all over the place, I guess.

And so tell me it.

Talk to me a little bit about that transition for you, because I know, as an athlete or I don't know, I can imagine how difficult it must be to say goodbye to that part of your life. But in a way you've kind of extended it in a way that we haven't seen many people do publicly.

Yeah, I mean, I definitely felt like when I retired, a part of me died, you know, it was something where I knew I could never go back, and I've been doing it my entire life. I've been skiing since I was two and a half years old. And after I retired, I woke up and what I loved to do every day was suddenly gone, and I had to really figure out, Okay, what is it about ski racing

To be honest, yeah, I know.

I like watching what you've been doing in the last couple of years. And we've known each other for a long time actually, and it feels like you have really found your groove and like all of these opportunities, your philanthropy, your foundation, and all of the business opera tunities that you have cultivated for yourself is a great model I think for a lot of younger athletes who are probably looking going, oh, she made this like so seamless, you know.

Well, it's definitely wasn't seamless. I mean, I can't tell you how hard it was. You know, as a ski racer, we don't we don't make money. There's no money in ski racing. So I had to really work hard to make a business for myself. And my dad always made me aware when I was younger that if I wanted to be successful, I had to be more than an athlete, and so I always took that approach. I always want

I think, you know, fucking tell me about it. I mean, honestly, like, women are so much better. When I was at the doctors this morning, and I would ask him one question and then he just stopped everything he was doing to answer the question. And I looked at him and I wanted to say, keep keep keep going, like don't we don't have to do separate things, like you can work and talk, can't.

You after like get it together?

I mean, women are just like you know, you're eating a hard boiled egg, feeding your dog, getting on a plane, like, we're doing a million things at once. And it's so crazy to me that they cannot talk and think at.

The same time.

They can't even fathom what we do. It's pretty n no.

I know your mom was a big influence on you.

I know you posted something today about her and her determination and how she inspired you and showed you what determination looked like.

So talk to me a little bit about that.

I mean, I think my mom impacted me in more ways than I even really truly understand now, and I think now that she's passed away, it's been a few months, and you know, I still always reflect on what she showed me. My mom had a stroke when she gave birth to me, and she wasn't able to do physically the things with me that I would have loved to do with her, like ski She couldn't ride a bike. The only thing she really could do what she loved was swimming, which I'm ironically horrible at I think like

Yeah, And I think you continue to understand it the longer we're without our moms. You know, when my mom passed away, I certainly was too young to even understand on the impact. I remember be talking in this interview about somebody asking me why I'm so strong, And I remember talking because I saw the way my mother and

The reason I'm able to do that.

Is because of my mother. And so I remember I was reading this book recently. It's called The Seven Deadly Sins. We're having this author on She's awesome, and it just talks about how we don't give our mothers enough credit for even just the time that they grew up and the time that they raised us in It was so

Me, she was older.

So I have to say, like, the idea that relationships can even strengthen beyond them being here on earth, I totally believe to be true. And I hope you feel that too, and are open to those signs and signals and like, you know, the stillness sometimes when you feel another person's presence is really just so powerful.

Yeah.

And my mom actually lost her mom when she was young as well, and when she was in the hospital, she said, I want you after I'm gone, to talk to me as if I'm there, and I will be there and I will listen, just like my mom was there listening to me. And it gave me a lot of comfort. And you know, I when I ever I want to call her, I just I just talked to her. She's there.

Oh, yeah, she is. Yeah, it's so sweet. I believe that our moms are there.

Hopefully they're hanging out and your mom isching my mom something, you know, hopefully.

Listening to the podcast right now. Blah blah, crying.

Okay, anyway, thank you for sharing, Thank you for being candid. I feel like we just had this moment.

We did.

We were.

Last time we saw each other.

We were on the Kelly Clarkson Show or no, was it Kelly class was Kelly Clark with Wolfgang Fuck And we were talking about her book and she started crying, and then of course I started crying because it's contagious and so now we're just crying whenever we see each other.

Okay, So, anyway, we're going to take some callers.

We're gonna call in and we're gonna give them some advice, and we've curated this episode to suit things that you would.

Have experience with.

Yes, okay, and we'll take a break and grab some cleanex and be right back.

And we're back.

We'refrect Are we ready to continue?

We're doing okay?

Oh yeah, okay, i'd be great.

Well, our first question comes from Rachel in Denver, and she obviously, somehow a month before we talked about getting you on the show, knew that you were going to come on.

She manifested it.

And so she says thank you in advance for reading my letter. I'm hoping Lindsay Vaughn makes an appearance on the podcast, so this question is written to both Chelsea and Lindsay. Dear Chelsea and Lindsay. I'm a thirty three year old single female living in the Denver area of Colorado with my dog Hide. My main hobbies are mountain biking and skiing, but I love staying active in general. A year ago, I ended a toxic long term relationship.

I love that.

This leads me to my first question, which is what are your tips for being a single, solo female traveler. I want to be able to make new friends and ski and mountain bike wherever I travel to. In particular, how can I make friends with guys who like these activities without looking like I'm interested in them. My second question is do you have any recommendations on a good ski jacket and bib Combo. I've had my same ski

Rachel.

Okay, well, let me answer the last part first, because Lindsay sent me her fucking suit which is called core right by it it's by Head, but Lindsay designed it. This is the best ski suit I have ever had. It's two pieces, but it has it's Is it gore tex or is it something stronger than gortex, because I.

Think I think it's something similar but stronger.

Yeah, because I have gortex suits and they're not like this, and I love Arctarics, that's what I usually wear. This is better than Arctarics. This not only keeps the cold the wet out, it keeps the wind out. It's somehow fucking windproof this suit. And Whistler has very strange weather patterns, so there's a lot of really like Arctic blasts, and it gets really cold.

Most people don't like to ski in that. I love that, but this keeps me warm.

And this scuit, I mean this suit, Lindsay. Everyone stopped me. I've never worn a suit so many days in a row, and then I wore this suit.

I know, I actually noticed that I'm like, Wow, she doesn't stop worrying it. She must like it because you normally change like every single day, which I do too, so I get it. But I appreciate the support. That was like a great that was a great ad life.

It's just the best suit. And I'm not full of shit.

I love it so much, like I you literally wouldn't wear it if you didn't like it.

I know that, Yes, you do know that.

And I'll just all the details, even around the knees, like that little roushing and then like the bottom couffs, everything, the pockets.

Everything is perfect on this jacket.

And when you ski, like you know, if you're protecting the back of your helmet, which I learned like how to keep you know, you always want to trap heat when it's really cold. This suit is just like it's almost like a NASA suit. That's how I felt like. I just felt tougher. So everybody who anybody who's listening that wants to ski, yeah, please look into her. Go find Does it come in different colors or is that one color?

Yeah? I think it's it's in like forest green and baby blue and yellow and black. Oh great, Oh perfect, that's nice. Y, So I'll have to send you some more colors so you can rotate instead of just having every single day. Although green's my favorite color, so I do think you look great at that.

Yeah, that's a pretty color. And let me know how that knee surgery goes.

Also, because I'm interested in possibly replacing my knees at some point both of them.

Yes you should. I mean I know a lot of people that have had it, and they've all raved about it, so I am very excited. I'm always limited with what I can do physically because of my knee, and I'm excited to hopefully not have that in the future.

Plus, you're so good at recovering from surgeries, like this is going to be a please from you.

I can do my own rehab.

Yeah.

Okay, So the first part of that woman's question.

Yeah, So the first part was how does she get into groups and meet guys without there thinking they're into them?

I don't, right, Well, that's a separate issue. The first issue. First of all, you should join Strata if you have it.

If you're not on Strata, because that's a great bike riding community where you can compare speeds, meet people, talk to people who.

Are in the area that you're going to.

If you don't want to go on these adventures by yourself, there's always cycling groups. You know, in my Orca, I know, there's tons of cycling groups that you can join as a single person and find people that are also going to be single, so that you're never really alone traveling, because I think as a female it is more important to always surround yourself with some people that are going to be there, you know, whether they're friends or not.

There's also like in Portillo, Chili, there's you know, groups that come down. There's also singles women's week. You know, there's most ski resorts have you know, either a singles week or a women's only week. You know, there's a ton of groups that you can travel with and meet up with, so you're not by yourself, but you're with people that are equally excited to do what you want to do.

Yeah, so that's the easy part.

So get your ski suit, go on your trips, join all these clubs, and then come back with a husband or ye per excellent, excellent.

Well, our next question comes from Miranda, and she's going to be joining us here on the zoom. She's twenty eight. Dear Chelsea, I'm a female golfer and constantly on the golf course men make sexist comments toward me and my female friends. I usually just laugh off their quote unquote jokes, but it bothers me so much to the point where it negatively affects my game and my desire to get on the course. I've asked a couple of women in my life for advice about this, but there are never

Hi, Miranda, Hello, how's it going good.

Our special guest is Lindsay Vaughan. So you have heard today to give you advice as well.

How are you good? How are you good? I normally cheer for Team Canada that I can make an exception to them.

I think you'll have to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, you're right, you're right.

Well, Lindsay, do you want to start this one? Because I feel like you've probably had a lot of experience with this kind of thing.

Yeah, I definitely have. I honestly I enjoy it. I use it to my advantage and I love also self deprecation. So you know, whatever guys throw at me, I usually make some self deprecating comment back, or you know, I hit them with I kind of flip it around on them, or you know, I don't know. I just find that the more I use it as like a positive, I always performed better when I was keying when people made

Yeah, that's a good point.

Yeah, I like that. I like the idea of using it to fuel you.

I mean, listen, if you're talking to me, obviously I'm just gonna go off on that guy and they're never going to say another thing to me.

Again, I knew that was coming.

I can't give you the language to do that, but I mean, you just give a dish up what they're dishing up right back at them. Because men can't handle what they say to women. They can't fucking handle it. They're sensitive and they're insecure.

Secure.

You wouldn't be making.

Fun of somebody unless you were insecure, you know what I mean, especially when you haven't done anything to deserve that.

You're golfing.

I know, I feel like by me not saying anything, it almost compromises my comfort just to almost protect theirs, which which I hate. And the annoying thing is it normally happens when like I normally only golf with one friend, and when you only book a tea time for two people, they always pair you with two other people, and it's always two older men that are saying stuff to us the entire time. So it's basically four hours of this.

Also, the question is like why golf? I feel like there could be a better sport.

No, let's deconstruct this even more.

That's a good point.

I think it's that you're playing golf.

That's a good point. I took it up during COVID. You know what you get outside, you have some drinks, riding in a car. It's very fun. I find it relaxing.

Yeah, it sounds like you need to get two more friends though to do it.

Yeah, you're not. Your day isn't ruined every day by these two idiots. So A, get some other friends, rope them into golfing. Actually, A I and find a different sport. B. If you're going to stick to golfing, rope some other friends in so you don't have to deal with two guys you don't know.

Yeah, I have done that.

And see, make sure you give it back to them. You know what I mean. They will cower as soon as you level it up.

Men, understand that the dynamic is shift. As long as you're not saying anything, they're going to keep going in on you. It's like a bully. And as soon as you turn around and say, hey, like this guy said to me the other day, these guys invited me, helly skiing? I said, no, my knee's really blown, like my knee was too swollen.

I go, my knee hurts. He goes, oh, your knee hurts, like oh yeah, And I don't want to be seen skiing like you see. That's good?

Right, So good?

That was over.

That conversation ended, and he never came back around. If I hadn't done that, he would have continued on and on and on. But it's good to just kind of get some stuff in your arsenal that you could throw back at them. And with men, it's really not that difficult, Like you don't have to be that prepared for what they're talking about.

No, you know, yeah, you're very right. They're always the stupidest jokes too. They're not funny at all. They're all terrible. It's never it's like if you're gonna make a joke too, to make it a little bit funny entertaining something though, it's always like a guy puts the ball not very far and he says to his friend like, oh, you hit that one with your purse, so stupid.

Yeah, exactly.

You can come up with some good, good lines in return.

Yeah, I can come up with something better than that. But it's just I feel like it always throws me off guard every time, which is so strange because I should be used to it by now.

Well, then you have to get more prepared. You have to go in there more prepared with the mission. Like today, I'm going to give it back. I'm going to serve it right back up to them, And just think about every woman that you are helping by you using your voice, because the next time they run into a woman like you they're going to be much less likely to harass her.

So if you need that as an extra motivation, use it.

That's a good point.

And to your point, they're going to say the same jokes every time, so you're not gonna have to come up with that many like clapbacks.

Right, yeah, oh it looks like you hit that with your purse. You can say what it looks like you hit that with one of your balls. There's lots of old man bald jokes that you can make, or you know, intellect jokes, or the fact that we're in the year twenty twenty four?

Is it twenty three? Yeah, don't take next year that I've been thinking it was twenty.

Twenty four for like two years already. I don't know what i'm smoking. Well, we all know what i'm smoking at that's a given. Also, try smoking pot while you're at the golf course. You won't give a shit about anything then true about what they're saying. You'll be really focused on your game.

Yeah. Yeah, Normally the drinking comes into play and it makes it a little easier, but it's just more annoying than anything. It's just irritating that people are still saying things like this.

Yeah, but definitely don't let anyone decide like how you're going to spend your time. You're not going to knock golf because guys are there. You're going to make sure that you're.

Going to golf. You know what I mean? That you're going to be fine when guys are around.

Right, as long as I don't pick another sport before then.

Well yeah, I mean try volleyball or something that seems going to be the.

Team sports are Okay, I got a couple of those on lock. But you know this is good for summer. It's good for summer.

Oh yeah, okay, good, yeah, awesome.

Well Branda, please let us know what kind of come back to come up with and how it goes next time.

All right, Well, do can I say one thing before I leave? Chelsea and Catherine. I thought of you guys the other day because me and my friends were on our way to a ski trip and my friend decided she would eat her breakfast in the car and it consisted of hard boiled eggs, and right before I turned around, I saw her about to open the container and I prevented it from happening. But I could not believe she was gonna eat them in the car.

I could not believe that in the privacy of her car of car.

It was our car.

I was, my boyfriend was driving. I was in the front.

Let's catch Lindsay up on this so she's aware, Lindsay. It was revealed to me late last year, in twenty twenty three, that Catherine travels regularly on planes with a ziploc bag of hard boiled eggs that have been peeled and then and eats them because they're a good source of protein. I said, well, it is true.

However, they do smell like heart boiled eggs.

Foot eggs smell no feet.

Yeah, smell like ass. But I think, you know, maybe maybe eat them before you get on the plane because they are a good source of protein. But like spare your seat made.

When you're closed vehicle. I made her eat them in the parking lot. She was standing in the parking lot eating them, because I I mean, that's a.

Fair, that's a fair.

Some peanut butter or something like a peanut butter stick like, that's better. That's not offensive to anyone. Everyone loves peanut butter. Almonds don't smell except the kids.

That are allergic to peanut butter on planes.

Yeah, there's many options.

I flew home from from somewhere yesterday and they put down a thing of those almonds, and I'm just like, those are the most unappealing almonds I've ever seen.

Like I was just like what, I was, just like unsalted, and I just looked at them.

I'm like, I don't even want one, you know, like almonds when they're hot on a plane are good. When they don't do that and they just throw some mixed together, I'm like, no, no, no, back the fuck up, bring me some eggs anyway, So grab your obits and grab your peanut butter, don't grab your eggs.

Head to the golf course and stand up for yourself.

Yes, or I do grab my eggs and no one will go near me.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

My love to your friend.

I'm sure you would. You guys have got along well.

Awesome, Thanks so much for colleague and Miranda to take care.

So yah bye.

Yeah. I don't know why anyone golfs anyway. I find golfing to be so boring.

It seems I can confirm it's very borings.

Oh right, exactly.

You know what I've been watching is that Full Swing documentary docuseries.

Do you know about this on Netflix?

Oh?

Yeah, it's actually makes golf someone interesting.

Yes, I was gonna say the same thing because I was like, oh, this is something I know nothing about.

Let me watch a couple of episodes.

And it's a lot about Jordan's speeth and they have a couple of players that are like on the up and up.

Yeah, Jordan's great. I mean, I love Jordan. He's under armor guy and I've known him for a long time. There's some I mean, there's some good people, and I think you just don't see their personalities when they're playing, which is why I think others are more engaging. But I think that this is showing actually a good side of golf, So good on them. And also break Point. I've you seen at the Tennis one Breakpoint.

I've seen a couple episodes of that. And then the Formula one also, I haven't seen that yet because that's I'm less interested in Formula one than I am in golf, but I'm going to get to it because that's another sport where I'm not paying attention and I don't know what needs.

To be really good.

Yeah, I thought you would love Formula One. It's like skiing. It's speed, it's like adrenaline.

Yeah, but there's a lot of mechanics.

It's very mechanical, actually not really well the way they talk about cars and the pit.

I like the attitude and the strategy and the winning championship vibe. I love that.

You know.

What is also great about full swing is it's great to see the ebb and flow of a career because you're never at your height all the time. There's highs and there's lows, and it's always like the underdog that comes in, you know, and wins when you least expect it. And the people that have been revered or celebrate to the most always end up not forever, but they always dip and they have their troubles too, So it's never like just some static road where it's just an assent, you know.

What I mean.

It's honestly really cool because it's kind of like every athlete has their own little mini documentary. And to your point of ebbs and flows, no career in any sport, I don't care who you are, is always at the top, and I think it humanizes athletes and shows you how hard it is to be consistently at the top. I mean again, no one's at the top forever, but to be able to come back every time you go down

Yeah, and it's not you know, there's a lot of similarities. You know, in my business, there are dips, and there are valleys, and there are struggles, and it is exactly how you behave in those moments that make you a champion. You know, it's how you pick yourself back up and how you succeed again after you've fallen or you've failed or what you deem a failure or you have at placed.

Absolutely not. Until totally agree.

Well, our next question comes from Lana, and this is a bit of a relationship beet question. I'm twenty four and I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years. This summer, we'll be moving in together for the first time in a new city with new jobs. Within the next year or so, I expect to be engaged to him. Our dynamic has always been the same.

How are you? I'm doing you and you are twenty four? You said, right, yes, I am okay?

So the only thing that struck me in your letter, if you hadn't said this part, which was he used to be affectionate with other people and then he got his heart broken, which is the reason he's giving you for not having as much.

Affection as you.

Is kind of like, oh, so he has the capability, but he's chosen to shut down rather than open up. So that doesn't make a lot of sense, because if he really felt like you were the one and you guys are supposed to be together, I would imagine that that would be brushed open. And again, you don't really we don't really have control over who we fall over. That aside, it does sound like you're expecting from him what you're giving out, and that's not a fair thing to do in a relationship.

You can't expect the.

Partner to give you what you want to give, or that your partner is going to be great at all. Four love languages, like, that's just not realistic.

Actually, if I.

Can interject, there are five love languages, and the one that you left out, Lana was quality time, which is the thing that he is really giving you, and that may be the way he expresses his love languages. Started interrupt.

I don't know. I'm glad you did.

I mean, I had no idea that we're five because I haven't read that fucking book. I've only heard about it NonStop for the last ten years.

That's the thing is, I think everybody hears like the Instagram snippets of it.

Oh, I'm figuring of the four agreements, that's what they're giving. Okay, got it.

But yeah, you know, the thing about the love languages is it's about finding out what each person's actually is and expressing love to them through that, Like maybe yours is more heavily these verbal, little sweet things that he might say, and his maybe quality time, so it's just a mismatch, and figuring out how to encourage him to give you what you need and you to give him what he needs.

Okay, is it wrong to like specifically ask for that? Like That's what I've been doing in the past few weeks, Because I wrote in this email after we had like a little bit of not an argument but a discussion. I mean I kind of circled back to him later after I kind of decompressed, and I was kind of saying, like, growing up, I didn't get verbal affection or physical affection for my parents, and just thinking about living my whole life.

It's communicating what you need from your partner, and I think that's great, and what if he's not able to deliver it though?

Right And there have been times recently where he has been so stressed out with being on the job market and everything where he has been like, I'm not really in the mood to be really affectionate right now. I'll spend time with you and we'll have dinner together, but I'm not going to be as loving as you want me to be right now. And I think as long

First of all, there's no perfect person, Like there's no one that's going to do all the love languages, and that's perfect. But at the same time, if you're communicating what you need to him and he's not able to give that to you. You're young. You can't spend the rest of your life feeling like you need something else.

Yeah, Like I want to say, I am a little bit like I think your boyfriend and I have been in relationships with people who have been very needy of affection and time and like lots of cuddling and.

Kissing, and I can give only so much.

Like it's not a reflection of how I feel about them, it's a reflection of like, I'm very comfortable in my own space and in my own skin, and when I'm needed like that, you know, if I wanted to be needed like that, I would have become a mother, Like, I don't like when I feel needed, so I can kind of relate to you know, it's just a different set of importance around you, like what I value. I also don't like gifts, like I don't care if I ever get a gift in the world. Ya, it doesn't

Right, And back to the point where I said, he was saying that he used to be like really loving in relationships. That was also back in high school. So I don't know if that's like a fair comparison because he was saying, Oh, I was getting all this advice from girls to text my girlfriend I love you every day and good night gorgeous, and he obviously figured out that's not what you're supposed to do. So I don't know if it's really like trauma why he's closed off,

She meant that he also had a loss of someone close to him as well.

Yeah, I mean that could be it. I mean, but you know, is he going to go to therapy? Is he open to that? Like, have you discussed that?

I have discussed that he thinks that he is generally okay, and he's like the strong one for all the other people in his life, and that he would be open to therapy if something bad happened or something traumatic happened. But I'm of the belief that anyone could use therapy y at all times. So I don't know if you can really convince someone of going to therapy without them feeling they need.

To No, and there's no point, like, there's no point in forcing somebody to go to therapy. It has to be their idea, otherwise they're not going to absorb anything that they're going there for.

Right.

I almost thought about, you know, now that we're getting super serious, I am going to be moving to a whole different state with him. We've been together for four years and so now it's like finally becoming real, Like I, if I do this move with him, next step in a few years is maybe getting engaged. And I was thinking, well, maybe I should say, like, if I'm going to get married to you, I want you to be open to therapy. But I don't know if that's a fair ultimatum.

I think that's fair. I mean, we live in twenty twenty three or sometimes twenty twenty four, you know.

Have you tried golfing.

He actually used to be on the golf team.

Oh okay, well he's tried it. We just had a golfer Collein. So there's some similarities here. Well not very many actually, but I just thought golfing was something that I should bring up again as far as.

The therapy goes.

Maybe it's you two going together. Maybe there's something there. Maybe it's not just like you have to go.

Yeah, it's good to get a third person involved in this because I don't want to qualify you as needy because you're saying what you want, which is good, but you might be coming across as needy and that might be rubbing him the wrong way and then you're creating like a chasm.

So it's like if he.

Could modify his behavior a little bit and you could modify yours and meet in the middle, which would be like what would happen in therapy ideally is somebody saying, Okay, this is you got to compromise. Then I feel like you would have more of a like workable dynamic instead of you feeling ignored or slighted.

You know.

I feel like that might be a good option for you to bring up. Yeah, especially since you're moving. That's a perfect excuse. We're moving to a new state. We've never lived here before. There's gonna be lots of pressure, there's gonna be lots of opportunity. I want to stay grounded, and I would love to have like a wad for us to just make sure we're always ahead of our problems. You know, therapy is great when you're going through something, but it's even better when.

You have the tools before you go through that.

So hang your hat on that and make it couch it in that, and then when you get in there you can get into these issues.

That's actually really you're so smart, Chelsea.

Yeah, I think so too. Right in this moment, I was like, Wow, why didn't you think of that earlier?

Brilliant O. Great problem solved.

Awesome. Well, Lana, let us know how it goes. Let us know how the move goes as well.

Yeah, we'll do. I really like your idea, Chelsea, because we're also going to be living together for the first time, so that's also ourwines.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you don't want to screw this up. You want to succeed. Blah blah blah blah. Let's go to therapy.

Right, for sure.

I like that idea.

Well, thanks so much for your suggestion.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely awesome.

Well you know how it goes.

Okay, take Carolta, good luck, she's a baby.

I know I wanted to go break up with him, like, fucking, it's your twenty four you need to find a new boyfriend.

I want to be like we all felt so needy at twenty four, like.

Mabe, I know, I know IM married at twenty two.

Shit, I always forget you were married.

It's so weird, you know, we don't even talk about it. But yeah, I always want to say whenever anyone in their twenties ask me for advice, I'm like, whatever, you just don't get married, don't.

Yeah, exactly, I mean twenty four years so needy. I used to I had a boyfriend. I remember who I was talking to over this weekend, actually because he was texting me, and I used to beg him like I would be like I wanted to sleep at his house every night. He lived up the street from me in Santa Monica, and I would go over there every night. And I remember once he was like, hey, do you have to sleep over every single night? And I was like yeah, I'm your girlfriend obviously.

You know.

Now as I'm sitting here.

As a forty eight year old woman, I'm like, oh, how annoying you know to not be able to.

Go, Oh, sure you need space, let me.

I won't sleep over a few nights a week that if you know, when somebody asks you for space, you have to fucking respect that and give them double like let them have their space. So yeah, I think there's a there's a neediness that comes in your twenties. You really want this fairy tale that you think is going to happen.

There is no fairy tale.

Yeah, it's like going to the Eiffel Tower.

I went with my boyfriend and when I was twenty one to Paris, and I just had this vision of like what our trip was going to be like. And he was British and I was still American and I was twenty one and he was thirty four. And we went to London and we stayed in a hotel room and the bathroom was inside the bedroom. There was no separate bathroom.

And I was like, this is not how I yeah. Yeah, we didn't speak the entire trip to Paris.

There were pictures of me alone at the Eiffel Tower and him alone at the Eiffel Tower and the Louver and every other thing that you saw, and the Champs de Les because Princess di had just died there, and the Plaza Athonite just us not speaking because I was so disappointed in this fantasy that I had created in my mind that had never shown proof of life.

You know what I mean, It's just proof of life.

Yeah, there's no I mean, we just were not as fantastical. When we're older, we get it.

Yeah, just more real.

We've been disappointed enough.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

A quick break and we'll be back to wrap.

And we're back with Lindsay, Vaughn and Catherine to wrap up today's episode, which was good. This was a great episode. Yeah, you gave good advice, Lindsay gave good advice. Lindsay, you look fucking beautiful, by the way, ridiculous. I was just sitting there looking at you, going, wow, you're looking real gooding.

Yeah, yeah, this, this lovely hotel is really making me glow over here.

All Orlando hotels are beautiful, so pretty well, Lindsay, is there any advice you'd like from Chelsea?

Yeah?

Do you want any skiing advice for me, lindsay, yes, how do you ski?

So damn well? Chelsea? In your bikini? I've always wanted, how do you like not freeze your tits off?

Like?

That's what I want to know, because I can't even handle being in my ski clothes, let alone like basically naked. But that's not my question. That was just something I'm curious about. But my actual ques es is how do you Cause you love skiing and obviously I love skiing, but you work so hard? How do you manage both things? Like how do you manage getting time to do what you love? And how do you manage being a boss?

I just I'm like, listen, if I don't get to ski for a good solid two months a year, then I'm not worth anything the rest of the year. So I will work all summer long, I'll tour and I'll do that stuff, and then I have to have my time to ski because it's just so important for me. It's my only real passion besides what I do and reading books and stuff like, I love skiing. You know, the way you talk about it is the way I feel about it. I always want to be on the mountain.

I'm like, yeah, I like to go out.

At eight thirty and get like three or four runs before anyone else comes out, and then I like to ski with my friends. But I feel like we talked about this earlier or the other episode, you know. I think for when you're in the public eye and the way that we both are, there's so much attention on you, and your life is so much about you, and you're so self involved that it's so necessary to actually have

Event in your life.

And I always make sure that I take myself out of my comfort zone, and I'm trying different things so that I remain normal, like a human being that's constantly growing and evolving and not just spinning around in this little hubris that is our lives.

Yeah, okay, that's a good point. I mean, I played tennis. I love tennis.

What about golf?

Have you thought about golfing? I think you should take up golf. That feels like the missing hole.

So many puns in that, so many, so many puns.

How do you also manage to change the subjects? How do you also manage being away from your dogs?

Well, I mean that's just out of good parenting.

It's better that they're not with me in Whistler because they like to be at home in LA where they can go in and out of the house. They just prefer that, and I took them to Whistler and they're just too old for that. So the next round of dogs I get, I will make sure they're younger and they're more adept, and then I will bring them to Whistler. But I'm just trying not to torture them because last time I brought them they were like, what is snow?

America and one of these mountain dogs that like just wants to live in the snow. Maybe it needs like I.

Need a part time dog for the winter, and then I need a dog for summer. That's what I need to do to split my time up. Thank you Lindsey for taking the time to do this. I really appreciate it, and you know I love you and I hope you have a great rest of your day in Orlando. I think it's going to really be falls to the wall.

I mean, well, maybe I hit of Disneyland while I'm at it.

Yeah, nothing better than an adults going to Disneyland with no children exactly.

Not creepy at all. Well, thank you, I love you, and I appreciate you having me on.

Yeah, thank you so much.

We'll speak soon, lindcybye bye, and don't forget everybody. My new special Revolution is now streaming on Netflix and it's badass. And then I'm doing a tour a little Big Bitch store. Go to Chelsea Hamma dot com for tickets. I've added some new dates. I added a date in Monticello, New York. I'm coming to Colorado to Red Rocks, you have thetheater. I'm coming to calum the Zoo, and then I'm coming to a bunch of places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga.

That's May nineteenth, twentieth, and twenty first, and.

Then I'll be in Atlantic City June tenth, which is almost stilled out, so get your tickets.

If you'd like.

Advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Katherine law and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com