I have been away for almost 2 years after going through a health crisis... I'm back and I'd like to thank everyone who reached out to me during my absence. Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrief . If you are in immediate crisis and need assistance, call...
Nov 08, 2023•13 min•Ep. 217
IDoes the pain of grief ever sto hurting so much? If so, when? I reflect (and maybey rant) on my experience wih the ebbs and flows that pain brings with grief. Spoiler alert: it begins to hurt less until it doesn't! Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to schedule regular sessions with a professional: www.betterhelp.com/dealingwithmygrie...
Jan 28, 2022•27 min•Ep. 216
I have returned to podcasting after a long hiatus. While I have had some struggles with my physical health, Im doing well and looking to get better. I've received a lot of email in the last 6 months and today. I'd like to focus on platitutes and the things that people say when we are grieving. Why aren't they helpful? Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your menta...
Jan 19, 2022•19 min•Ep. 215
As we approach Father's day, it dawned on me that during the Mother's Day/Father's Day period there is a certain segment of the grief population that seem sto be totally ignored... that would be parents who have lost children. I know that people post about loss of all types every day, but during this period I rarely see posts by parents who have lost children but I see a lot of post of individuals mourning their parents. If you have lost a child, i'd like to know how you cope during this time of...
Jun 09, 2021•10 min•Ep. 214
As I release this episode of the podcast, I am remembering my dad's 86th birthday. It also marks the beginning of my mourning period leading to his death anniversary on the 24th. As this is the third year I have had to navigate this anniversary without the words of my mother to comfort me, I try looking for other ways to keep from focusing to much on my dad's death anniversary. This year 'm trying to be inspired by others. Joe Biden went from losing his wife and daughter just before taking offic...
Apr 14, 2021•16 min•Ep. 213
Dealing with recent challenges has forced me to re-examine my relationship with the word "help". Being an only chile, I was "forced" to figure most things on my own. Asking for help was something I didn't do often. If I did I'd ask my mother for help. Now that she's gone, I have other's that I can go to, but for me that is often difficult. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe...
Apr 07, 2021•15 min•Ep. 212
We've been dealing with COVID for over a year... During this time their are a lot of things that we've done that we didn't think we could do, things we didn't want to do... but we did them anyway. Needless to say, it has been a rough year. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify If you are worried about your mental health and want to sc...
Mar 25, 2021•11 min•Ep. 211
I have been away for a long time. My home caught on fire in February 2020 and before moving back into my home in November 2020 I moved a total of 4 times. I caught COVID in February 2021 which caused me to be in the hospital for almost 3 weeks. Needless to say, it has been a rough year. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me...
Mar 17, 2021•6 min•Ep. 210
I have often been asked if I have problems discussing the circumstances surrounding my dad' s death. Truthfully, I used to , but since starting the podcast It has been a lot easier for me. People need to know that some things they see on television is real, and it effect real people. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me us...
Aug 12, 2020•10 min•Ep. 209
Have you ever had an issue expressing how you navigate through the grieving process? If so, I had a conversation with a film maker who has a project that is a must see for grievers as well as those who are supporting grievers. Lindsey Whissel Fenton is an Emmy award-winning storyteller who is passionate about using public media to build empathy. She is currently a senior producer at WPSU where, most recently, she developed, produced, directed, and wrote Speaking Grief , a multi-platform initiati...
Jul 30, 2020•55 min•Ep. 208
Jul 21, 2020•8 min•Ep. 207
A listener asks if I still styruggle with someThe short anse things since it seems like I have come up with coping skills for a lot of things. The short answer is yes... I struggle with some things. However, there are some things that don't bother me so much. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe on Spotify Contact me using any of following: ema...
Jul 10, 2020•24 min•Ep. 206
I received letter a few months ago from the person convicted of killing my father. This letter had been written in 2008 and had never been claimed by my mother. I'm not sure if she was truly aware that this letter had been written, or if she simply chose not to receive it. In any case, it weas not what I expected . Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to su...
Jul 01, 2020•14 min•Ep. 205
A few months ago, I received notification that the person convicted of killing my father will be eligible for a parole hearing in April 2023... that is less than 3 years away. Even still, while the hearing is in less than three years, he still has another mandatory 8 years let's be fty to server. When I was a kid, 50 years seemed forever... now its right around the corner. I know have to ask myself how I feel about that. Do I consider what my mom would do or think about this, do I lean on religi...
Jun 26, 2020•17 min•Ep. 204
I had a wonderful chat with Callsuma Ali about my relationship with my father. We also talk about his murder and my process for dealing with the aftermath of his loss. Connect with Callsuma on Twitter at https://twitter.com/CallsumaAli
Jun 21, 2020
Sometimes grief comes between us. we plan for many things, but grief is not one of them. As we be go through life, planning for what we think is going to be the future, grief has a way of derailing those plans, So much so that it may begin to eat away at the fabric of our relationships. As we begin to process our grief, how quickly we move through has a serious impact on what people think about us and how they act towards us. The key thing to remember is that we all process differently... and th...
Jun 10, 2020•15 min•Ep. 203
On May 25, 2020 George Floyd lost his life to the hands of the Minneapolis, Minnesota police when a police office knelt on his neck until he was dead. This is just the latest example an unarmed African American man whose life has senselessly been taken by those who have sworn to protect and serve us. In the wake of this tragedy, there have been protests and riots all across the country. In the midst of it all there are many people who do understand what many African Americans go through on a dai...
Jun 06, 2020•27 min•Ep. 202
Why did my mother give me my name.... Darwyn? Last week I talked about change... change while going through the changes that grief brings. This week is about the evolution of grief... how my grief has evolved and how I have evolved (or maybe not) around it. I used to be angry, lost, confused in the immediate days and years following my dad's death. Somehow, somewhere I found the act of forgiveness which allowed me to release the anger and begin to have some sort of inner peace. I used to believe...
May 27, 2020•20 min•Ep. 201
Heraclitus, the Greek philosopher said, “Change is the only constant in life.” As I publish this episode I realize that not only is change constant, but I have no control over how or even when it affects me. Change for as much as it can be welcomed and good when we know that something good is coming can be so dreadful when the unexpected bad thing s happen. Even when we know that bad things are going to occur I sometime ignore the signs talking myself out of how much I will be impacted by the ch...
May 20, 2020•25 min•Ep. 200
As I sit working from home amid the COVID-19 pandemic I have realized that the link between this virus and grief is more that just the deaths caused by the virus. With all the talk about the number of cases and death expected to rise, speculation about a possible vaccine years ahead of the normal timeline for vaccine development and the politicizing of the virus by both parties here in the U.S., Just like I have often done in grief, I just want to isolate myself (even more than I've been forced ...
May 06, 2020•13 min•Ep. 199
As this podcast episode is being released on the anniversary of my father's death, I find myself being consumed by a different question than usual. When did I start my healing process? The answer... when the bleeding stopped! When I physically fall, sometimes bhe bleeding doesn't happen immediately. The blood and pain take a minute to be registered by my brain and they suually hit at the same time. At that point there is no denying what has happened. For that brief second while you are waiting f...
Apr 25, 2020•21 min•Ep. 198
February 25 is a day my life change... yet again! On this day my home caught fire in my living room and dining room. What the fire didn't destroy smoke and water damage did. After spending a month in a hotel, my family is now renting a house while out home is being repaired. They say it'll be 6-8 months to complete... did I mention hotel? During the month we spent in the hotel, we met many people - some who were staying long term for work and some who had suffered misfortune like my family were ...
Apr 15, 2020•21 min•Ep. 197
There are amazing people using different avenues to express and deal with grief... especially as it relates to children. As someone who lost my father when I was a child, I look to spotlight organizations who are helping children deal in some way no matter how big or small with their loss. This week I have a conversation with Sarah Illiatovitch-Goldman Sarah works for the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago where she is is the Director of Hearts to Art Summer Camp - a performing arts program for young...
Feb 19, 2020•42 min•Ep. 196
People don't give us what we expect in grief because they don't know what we need... and often cases we don't tell them. Before we pass judgement on those around us, let us first take a step back and process what is going on around us and try to figure out exactly what's behind a persons actions and what we can do to help them hep us. Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following: Click here to subscribe via Apple Podcasts Click here to subscribe on Android Click here to subscribe via ...
Feb 12, 2020•30 min•Ep. 195
Sometimes we can't give grief the attention it deserves either because the magnitude of grief hasn't hit yet, or because there are other pressing needs that need our attention. When my father died. my mother's main focus as making sure our basic needs were met. There was no time to sit and reflect on the journey she would have to take in providing for a household as a single parent. conversely, it didn't hit me for 4 years that I would have go through certain aspects of life without my dad aroun...
Feb 05, 2020•12 min•Ep. 194
I last saw my uncle in June of 2016. At the time he told me he had something for me but he had decided he'd wait and give it to me later. As it turned out, later would never come because he died 3 weeks later. Christmas of 2016 on a visit back to S. Louis, my aunt and cousin presented me with the item my uncle bequeathed to me... a Rolex DateJust watch. I was thrilled and nervous at the same time. I had never owned anything that expensive that I couldn't drive and I was afraid that somehow I wou...
Jan 29, 2020•20 min•Ep. 193
When my dad died, I was just a child t a new school trying to fit in... trying to be accepted by those who had barely known me for 5 months. And suddenly after his death I wanted to fit in even more so. I didn't want to bee seen as different. Even in high school, college, and the military I would hide that part of me that me me "different." I would become a chameleon and simply hide in plain sight. I would in some aspect become part of my environment and surroundings. I'd become just another fac...
Jan 22, 2020•22 min•Ep. 192
In October of 2011 I contracted a flesh eating bacteria while watching my son play baseball. Some believe I was bitten by a spider - probably a brown recluse. To remove the dead tissue and ger ahead of the virus I underwent 4 surgeries over a 10 day period to make sure all infected tissue had been removed and that the virus/bacteria had been completely removed. But part of this process involved packing the wound after each surgery with a material that would head drain and keep the wound clean. I...
Jan 15, 2020•18 min•Ep. 191
Happy 2020! A new year, a new decade. As I mentioned previously, I have not been able to keep up the schedule for the podcast. I've been playing catch up with the other aspects of my life and just haven't been able to devote as much time to the podcast's production. Hopefully, that is all behind me now and I can get back to the regulaas schedule for the show. As I look back at 2019, I realize that it is the community I have found in grief and the relationships I've established that give me inspi...
Jan 08, 2020•21 min•Ep. 190
I am focusing on making new traditions... or at least getting back to old ones this year. The last month and a half have been emotionally draining, mainly dealing with cleaning out my mom's house. Now that it's over, mentally I feel like I'm recovering at a decent pace. I've been able to start enjoying things I used to do with mom... like eating Cream of Wheat again which is something she made on Saturday mornings. I know Christmas is a hard time of year for some, but I'm happy my family will be...
Dec 25, 2019•17 min•Ep. 189
