01 - He's Having Second Thoughts

This is a headgum original. Eyes about one actor. Find out why Tom Hanks. HBO mini series.

This is a story about something that happened almost 20 years ago. And as far as I know, I may be the only person involved who even remembers that it happened. Now this isn't an important story. In fact, I'm not sure that this story could be less important. But it does involve one of the most popular and successful movie stars of all time. And there is a mystery at the heart of it. A mystery I am determined to solve. This is the mystery of my life

I should start by telling you who I am. My name is Connor Ratliff, and I'm a working actor, primarily in comedic roles. You probably have never heard of me, but there's a slight chance you may have seen me in a film or TV show at some point over the past few years. You might have watched me in the second season of the Marvelous Mrs. Mazel. I played Chester, the creepy guy who says crisscross to Susie when she's in the Catskills pretending to work at a summer resort.

Yeah, I've been hanging around this resort for seven years. And this is the first time I've ever encountered a like-minded person. We are not like minded. I know you, you know me. I don't fucking know you Kind of length now, aren't we? No. Crisscross, crisscross. Go away. I was Black Cindy's attorney on the penultimate season of Orange's The New Black. Evolving into hysterics and changing your testimony at the eleventh hour will not help Miss Jefferson's case. Listen to me. You won't help her.

I also recently did a White Castle commercial dressed up in green paint like I'm a founding father on a$3 bill. Today I stand in this$3 bill For value, for variety, for freedom. Introduce- Or if you want to see an improv show at New York City's Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in the past eight years, there's a decent chance I might have been one of the performers on stage doing improvised comedy.

Please, welcome to the stage, Connor Ratlin. If it sounds like I'm in any way tooting my own horn, I apologize. I'm just trying to paint a picture of who I am now, and that's the way it is for actors. You're always selling yourself. It's disgusting.

I also asked my friend Zach Woods if he would try and describe me. You probably know Zach from Silicon Valley or the office. Alright. Imagine you're at my you're delivering a eulogy and they want a description of my face because my body's been uh burned beyond recognition. Ha ha He and I have done quite a few improv shows together over the years and he's really eloquent at describing people, in addition to being one of the kindest people I've ever met. Like you're you're like Thank you.

A librarian who still gets laid. Or like a librarian where like if someone came into the library with a gun, you would like put up a good fight. Or you would work at like a record store or like well no I'm not saying it's not bad. You would like you yeah, you used to have an archivist There's a quality of an archivist but but with a uh uh uh underlying virility.

So like, I'm not saying I'm a big deal or anything, far from it, but but I'm doing okay for myself, you know, which is a lot for a profession that is notoriously hard to succeed in. It's a struggle month to month, but I'm making ends meet and there's always a chance I'm about to book the gig that will allow me to stop worrying that I'm gonna lose my Screen Actors Guild health insurance.

But there was a time almost two decades ago when I was fresh out of drama school, and this working actor's lifestyle seemed to be just within my reach. And then, all of a sudden, everything fell apart. I'm talking about the time I got fired by Tom Hanks.

Let's get back to the year 2000. At this point I'm living in England, having graduated from the Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts just two years earlier. And it has been a roller coaster ride, you know, feast or famine. I I booked a leading role in a great new play at the prestigious Royal Court Theater. Got my pick. My picture in The Guardian next to a glowing review that got my name wrong.

I had an agent and I auditioned for a lot of things, but I was an American actor, mainly going out for American roles, which were fewer and further between than the British ones. I could do an okay British accent, but not good enough to fool actual British people, all of whom can really tell if your dialect is even a little bit off. So when HBO decided to make the Steven Spielberg Tom Hanks epic miniseries Band of Brothers in the United Kingdom, it was a big opportunity for me.

The main roles had already been cast in America, but now they needed to cast the small roles. They were looking for local hires. It had been my experience that even a lot of really good British actors tended to sound a little bit less natural than I did, delivering very basic American dialogue. In other words, I had a slight advantage.

I auditioned. At first it was just me in the room with a casting director and maybe an assistant or two, but at every call back there were more and more people in the room. I don't remember exactly how many times they called me back, but I believe it was more than two, fewer than six. By the time I got to my final audition, I was told that I was the main contender for the very small speaking role I was being seen for. The role of Private Zelensky.

I remember my final call back vividly. The room was filled with proxies. There were Tom's people, Stephen's people, that's Hanks and Spielberg, but I'd reached the point in the process where I was hearing people refer to them by their familiar first names. And also higher ups from HBO. These are the bigwigs, and they were looking at me, deciding whether or not to hire me.

And they did. They hired me. I was offered the role which would appear in the show's fifth episode, possibly also the tenth, and the very good news was that Tom Hanks himself would be directing episode five. So I was going to be directed by Tom Hanks, one of my favorite actors, as well as the writer-director of one of the most enjoyable feature films in recent memory, that thing you do. I told everyone. Absolutely everyone. This was the greatest thing that had ever happened to anybody.

I was going to be in the TV event of the decade, produced by one of the greatest filmmakers of all time and the two-time Academy Award winner whose work I had admired since I was a small child. Now I'm not gonna pretend it was a meaty role, it wasn't. My character only had a handful of lines, and they tended to be short and to the point. But I would be on screen, talking to the main character

And I really felt like this was gonna be the thing that would jump start my acting career. People would look back later and see me in this minor role in a major show and say, That was his first on screen performance. That's where it all started. I remember saying to someone out loud that it felt like everything was finally falling into place. Later on I remember thinking I shouldn't have said it out loud.

The day before I was due to film my first scene, I had booked an afternoon train ticket from Liverpool to London. That's when I got a phone call from my agent. In a panicked voice, I was delivered this news. You have to get on a train to London right away. Tom Hanks has senior audition tape, and he's having second thoughts. He thinks you have dead eyes. dead eyes. What did that mean? Thank you.

You know when like a person is killed in a movie and you don't know they're dead yet, but they have a sort of startled look. They have like a sort of startled expression. What you're doing now, which is not typical, I would say, of your face. is you look like someone who is just you're like, why is that actor making that weird face? And then they fall to the ground and you realize they've been like whatever s like knifed or shot or, you know, poisoned.

I know. Okay. Maybe describe my face in emotional terms. what I look like. What's the feeling when you when you think of my face? With an emphasis on the eyes. I've never felt less articulate in my life. Uh your eyes your eyes We're now also just to give some context to anyone who's listening, we're standing on a street corner at one AM outside the Westfort Street subway staff. People are walking by and watching me say to Connor again and again, Your eyes, your eyes, your eyes.

It's the most romantic moment we've ever had by far. Yeah, like you could play a s a murderer. You could definitely like you could play someone who kills or you could play someone who like is a victim of a murder. You could play either side of a murder convincingly. You could be the startled, the startled newly dead body or the cold-blooded fucking psychopath. But a participant, not a bystander. No no I don't buy you as a vice too. Ha ha ha. Dead Eyes will be right back.

You need to get there right away to re audition. He thinks you have dead eyes. Now I don't think that Tom Hanks ever intended for me to know that he thought I had dead eyes. No. I talked to my friend Darcy Carden. W we became friends a few years ago at UCB in New York. You probably know her as Janet from the Good Place. Is there a way that we can get that motherfucking agent assistant on this podcast? I don't remember who it was. I'm so bad with names and Right, right.

Two decades went by and I don't remember who it was. God, I hate that person. Truly deeply hate that person. Although, whatever, it's probably given you a lot of gold in your life. But like, what a thing to tell an actor. It only is in recent years that it occurred to me that I shouldn't have been told that. Right.

Because it really put me in my head. Yeah. So then I I get to London and I meet with the casting director, Suzanne Smith, who w the two of us rode in a town car from London to Hertfordshire um Hatfield Aerodrome, which is this giant airfield where they filmed Saving Private Ryan. Oh wow and so it's just huge. It's the big I've still never worked in any place that was as big as this and it was bustling, you know. So we had like a forty five minute like town car ride and she was very nice.

Even that is insane, Connor. She was very sweet to me, but it was clearly just so uncomfortable because she she had cast me and now she was maybe going to have to uncast me. Right. Right. And so we rode up there and then I remember waiting in an office for I think it was a couple of hours. Get there right away. A certain point passed where I realized I could have taken my original training. It's on my time. And and I don't say this to complain at all because it is

It Tom Hanks at that point was in the middle of prep for directing this episode. So he has he was out like scouting, looking at location things and sets and all this stuff. And so I'm s I'm sitting in this office for like two hours. So everyone like knew. I am clearly like this problem. I'm like this like manifestation of a a thing that's gone wrong. Yes. And and then finally I get to a point where I remember hearing a noise from down the hallway. And

It was as if if Tom Hanks was like a bird or some kind of animal, it'd be like this is the cry of the it's like in a nature joy. I just hear this thing that sounds like a and then I hear like little British laughs, like these little like a A titter, a titter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, he's coming close. And then I could hear him going into a r the room next to where I was for via another door. So I didn't see him go into the room.

And then I was sitting there and at a certain point they call me into the room. Connor. Connor. Connor. Connor. Connor. Will you come in the room? And Tom Hanks is sitting there on a couch. and he looks like he's dying. Fuck, what like sick or just stressed? Like W worse than anything in the movie Philadelphia. He looks like he's just like like because and I didn't know this at the time, but it was like a shock. Uh I didn't know about the movie Castaway, which is what he had just filmed.

He had just imagine him shaving that big crazy beard and hair. Right. So he's just under like a short, like almost like Michael Stite, basically. Yes, yeah. And he had this like gray and black stubble. And he's just wearing like sweatpants, but they look like they're just about to fall off of him. Like he's just he's gone so method for castaway that it's a shock to see Tom Hanks and think like, oh no, is Tom Hanks sick? Is the word sinewy? Yes. Yes. I I I was stunned when I saw it. Yeah.

Sure. And and then he was uh Oh hey, how you doing? And I sat down and and there was not a lot of chit chat. Right. Uh but he said uh well uh let's uh let's hear it. I proceeded to do uh I think a three minute scene opposite a non actor. It was like a pr I know it was a non actor because they were not good at acting. It was just like a producer or an assistant or somebody. They had all the dialogue and every now and then I would say, Yes, sir, no, sir. Would you like some tea or coffee, sir? And

So there was just uh it was just me sitting there for most of it not doing anything and this other person kind of not doing a good job acting. Part of me can't help but think that it made my acting look worse that I wasn't like the scene wasn't going well. Right. Well th yeah, it's um an impossible task. And I don't know. I don't have any memory of whether I was like popping my eyes or trying to like. You probably were.

I I bet I was. And so I do the scene and I remember he said, uh, Oh, is that it? I wish there were more. And he and then he like shook my hand and I went out of the room. And then I sat there for I I think uh it was probably only a few minutes, but it was like a long few minutes. Yeah. And I'm sitting on this couch and Suzanne Smith, she knelt down in front of me. And I remember it was like it's was such a gentle Pose. Yeah.

And part of me thought like, Oh, she has good news for me. She's gonna tell me, like, you've got it, you know, get ready to film tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. And then she said They've decided to go another way. Oh my God. And that was when I I remember I teared up, like instant I teared up and I remember saying I I've already spent some of the money. Oh god. Yeah. Hey. And she's like, No, no, no, no. You y the contract's been signed, you'll be paid.

And I remember thinking, Oh, should I say I'll do it for free, you can keep the money if you let me be in the I remember thinking, Should I say that? And I didn't get it. I didn't say it because I knew I knew that if I said it the answer would still be no and I would have lost even more uh I be I would have I would have lowered myself for nothing. don't wanna like make them fire you again.

Yeah, well I just it was one of those things where like when you know it's a second no, there's no need to humiliate yourself further. Um now here's the thing I I wanna ask you is uh have you ever been fired as an actor from a job?

When I okay, this is this is not the same thing. But when I was in junior high, I was a part of a children's theater company that was really, really, really my life. Like my s my you know, my social circle, my best friends. It was like you know, like That's that's the word. Yeah. Like I was doing plays on the weekends that you'd like have to come pay and see at like a cool theater. Yeah. But you know, us we're we're like

cl not class clowns, but we like to be funny and we like to like get attention and it's maybe good, it's maybe bad. But what it did was make the director of this play hate me. And he like basically fired me. He had a one on one conversation with you or was it with parents? With parents. Like I got into my mom's car after school one day and I knew things were going bad. We didn't like each other. He was a piece of shit and he's dead now. That's great. That's a happy ending to this story.

Teachers either I was either their favorite or their least favorite. Always. I was either like their little prize student or they like wanted me out of their class. It just depended on, you know, how how I if I rubbed them the right way or the wrong way. Yeah. And

Yeah, so this guy didn't like me. He thought I was a distraction. I probably was. I I think I like, you know, did some sort of thing on stage during like a little abner that like, you know, pulled focus or something and that was like a good excuse for him to get rid of my. Oh man, he was gunning for you.

He was gunning for me. Thank you, Connor. He was gunning for me. Um, but it it really like shook up my life and it was a big like uh'cause I wanted to be an actor as a career. So that early being told no really affected me and and and kind of like fucked with me. So anyway. When you say fired, that is the very first thing I think of. And I don't think I've been fired from an acting job as an adult, but the night is young.

I don't I don't see you getting fired at this point, unless like that guy's like son or grandson gets some power. You know, that teacher if that guy do you know did that guy have children? And are they in the industry? Oh, they're in the theater industry for sure. Then this is not over.

No, this is not over. No, and and I mean I'm I'm talking freely about this, but people that I know and love, I'm the one I'm the only one who didn't like this guy. P he was like really um idolized and and people s there's like When he died, a lot of there was a lot of Facebook stuff going around, like, we need to honor his legacy. And I was like, Get me out of this Facebook group because I don't like him. See, that's where the-

Of course. Uh they're yeah, of course you can.'Cause they can either hear you or it doesn't matter. You know? This what this particular thing that you went through is not common. It's such a like it's so one in a million like this has never existed before. It is not like, oh yeah, I have a firing story that's no, there's nothing like this.

And weirdly, I have told this whole story to many people. Like my whole family knows this story. Even if it was like a beloved town per like a like the you know, the sweet like mayor of your town fired you or something like that. This is different. This is like This is the world's favorite person. Yes. And and I'm part of that world. Yeah. And I remember thinking, I must have been so bad. Oh god.

So bad that not even like the nicest person in show business could bear to like have me be part of this thing. Now this is actually the part that like upsets me the most out of this whole story is not the like, Yes, sir, would you like some coffee, sir, guy? What would that acting job have gotten you? It's what did the confidence blow do to you? Does that make sense? It's not like I'm more concerned with like how it affected you and your like confidence or or whatever it whatever it is.

How did that affect you going forward as opposed to like what this IMDB credit would have gotten you? S how how what w was that moment in time where you like, uh, my life is over? Like like my career is over?

I definitely knew that I was on a break. I definitely knew that I'm like I'm not I maybe w I need a couple of years away from this because I really I think it was I really just wasn't strong enough to deal with you know, that's just part of the industry is that you sometimes Things don't work out.

Yeah, but this was an exceptionally like this was like a joke version of that. Because it was America's sweetheart or like the world's sweetheart. The world's like favorite man who's, you know, not just a good actor, but he's like Mr. Nice Hollywood or whatever.

And I couldn't you know, there was a point where, you know, my parents were uh my mom in particular was like angry and was like, I'm not going to see any Tom Hanks movies. And I was like, I'm not gonna stop going to see Tom Hanks movies. I love Tom Hanks. And I mean even even in my interaction with him, which was one of the worst days of my life, he was nice to me. I mean, it was a nice interaction. He didn't fire you to your face. Now, yeah. He didn't fire you to your cold dead eyes.

Uh you know, I spent a lot of my thirties sort of rebuilding my like from my late mid twenties to late thirties, I spent a lot of time sort of rebuilding myself. And I think at the time that we met, when I was at U C B, I had zero career ambitions for working in show business. Totally. I think we even talked about that. I didn't care about I wasn't trying to book acting work. I didn't want to work in T V or movies or anything. I worked in a bookstore and I was fine.

Totally. I mean, if listeners of the pod may know this, Connor's rise at U C B was fast and furious. He he he kind of skipped over many of the normal steps and went from quickly being on from from being a student to really quickly being on a Herald team, which was fast, and then really quickly being on a weekend team, which was like unheard of. So he he was a little bit of like, who the hell is this guy? But we liked you right away and

'Cause I remember like no I remember being like, This guy is so fucking talented and I remember talking about this type of thing, movies or or auditioning or whatever, and you were and you were like, I really don't I don't have any desire to do that. Yeah. Before I could return into show business. I had to get myself to a place where it mattered less and where I didn't

I didn't have to need it so much. Right. And I couldn't sort of go back into show business until I sort of protected myself to the point where I couldn't I I wasn't so like I'm not so vulnerable about stuff like now. Like when I when I audition for stuff, there's the pros and the cons of it. Even a dream job, if I audition for it, the there's always an upside and a downside and I look at both. That's a very healthy way to look at that.

So it did make me stronger, but it took a long time because back then it was all I wanted. Right. And now Your identity. Yeah, and I mean now I I worry sometimes because I never wanna I always remind myself like I don't wanna get to that point where Uh, I need it so much that I uh because in part because I think it's naturally it's automatically unattractive to anyone in show business. Totally. Casting directors and uh anyone who's hiring actors.

the sight of an actor who really wants the job is like such a turn off. And so You know what's so fucking funny, Connor, is when I I remember reading or hearing a story about, guess who? Tom Hank. that he was auditioning, auditioning, auditioning, getting nothing and then He star he started kind of

feeling the way you you know, like he kind of started feeling like, Do I even need this? Do I even want this? And he would go to auditions and not care. And in some like this is I'm sure a made up story that I heard or read. But like he walked into the audition and fell down and didn't care.

and, you know, charmed the uh the the auditioners, the auditors, the auditioners, and got that job and it was some big job. Anyway, like when I think of the the the desperation that we bring in and ha and how unattractive that is. I always think of this Tom this made-up Tom Hanks story about him not caring, and that's when he started booking jobs. Oh wow, it all comes around. It all comes around. Hinksman.

One of the interesting things I only recently realized is that not only did Bander Brothers win for best, you know, TV movie or miniseries. It also won for best casting of a miniseries and best directing, which included all the directors of all the episodes. So everyone involved in the process that I was a part of was honored at the highest level of achievement. They all won em Emmys for their work. So their work is not in question.

We gotta get Hanks on this. I'm I I cannot I cannot wait. I cannot wait for you guys to to bury the hatchet and become old friends. What I would what I would like to do ideally is to get a chance to re audition for him. Or even just have him look at my reel. Maybe that'd be that would be less nerve wracking for me if I could just show him my reel and be like, Look, this is this is A handful of shows, you know.

No, you have to audition for him. But I a reel is great, but he you've got to audition for him. I know. I have to man up and actually sit in a room once'cause I feel like I have to go through the a process. I have to uh uh do my research, see if I can find the original audition tape. I if I see the audition tape and I have dead eyes, it changes the uh Changes m my goal for meeting Tom Hanks because then I almost feel like I need to like Yeah.

And and hopefully uh my goal is for this to end with a new friendship and maybe a new professional collaboration. I I'm not bl I'm not kidding. I can see it. I can truly picture it because I think he would love you. And of course you're you're without a doubt talented. So like this the idea of you guys being in a scene together, I can see it. I can see it. You know, you're like you're working at like a local newspaper. He's so good.

Old friends. Okay, thanks for having me on this. I can't wait to listen to it. for doing it, Darcy. This is gonna end well. I really feel it. I really, really feel it. I truly do. One of the main people I wanted to talk to for this podcast is London-based casting director Suzanne Smith. Because she was the person who I spent the most time with on the day that I was fired. And I was really curious to hear what memory she might have of me or if she even remembered me at all.

So I found Suzanne on Twitter um several months back and I clicked follow. And so I sent her a message reminding her who I was and telling her about the podcast and I waited a few days and no response, so then I nervously sent her a follow-up. thinking maybe she hadn't seen the first one. I just wanted her to know that this was like a legit thing and this wasn't some angry actor looking for a you know, a story of revenge or something.

And a few months later, I decided to reach out again. So uh uh I sent her an email with a link to a an early edit of the first episode and I know this sounds like I'm stalking her, but w when you're trying to get hold of someone, y i you often don't know if the messages are getting through. You know, I don't know if I'm using the right email address or if this is someone who

checks their DMs or if they're just swamped in messages from strangers and it just falls by the wayside. So at this point I was basically ready to give up because I thought, well, there's no way we're ever gonna get a response. And that's when I learned something about show business that I did not know. I was talking to another casting director in New York City and they said, Well, maybe she has an agent.

I did not know the casting directors might have agents. This person got me Suzanne Smith's agent's contact information, and I emailed him and he responded almost immediately. Let me read you the email. Hi Connor, thanks for your email. This isn't quite Suzanne's thing, I am afraid, but thanks for thinking of her, and I hope it goes well. Now I gotta say, even a no is better than silence. Because it's an answer. I can process it.

Having said that, this is a bummer because Suzanne Smith was the one person who I think really saw how I was that day. I met her in London and we shared a forty-five minute car ride to the airfield and and the office where I did my re audition. And she saw how sad I was and how nervous and scared, and she saw me when I broke down in tears after she told me the news. And I wanted to know if she remembered me. That's all. Sound.

It sucks, you know, in a story about rejection from a long time ago, to book end it with another rejection two decades later.

So then it occurred to me, well, maybe I need to go back even further to my very first professional acting job, all the way back to nineteen ninety two, in Columbia, Missouri. I was about to begin my senior year of high school when I was cast in the lead role in a production of ordinary people.

This was part of the University of Missouri Columbia's professional summer rep, so this was basically the first time I had ever had a job as a professional actor, unless you count a couple of local TV commercials I did as a young child. The role in Ordinary People was an especially intense part.

If you've ever seen the Academy Award winning movie version directed by Robert Redford, I was playing the Timothy Hutton part, the young man whose older brother died in a boating accident and who tried unsuccessfully to kill himself. A lot of the play is about my character talking to a therapist. Played in the movie by Judd Hirsch. You're here and you're alive. And don't tell me you don't feel that. feel good. It is good.

Believe me. During that summer, the role of the therapist was played by a middle aged actor, the correct age for the part, and it was exhilarating for me to act opposite a professional actor who really knew what he was doing. It made it feel like acting was easy. I don't even remember working to memorize my lines because the intensive rehearsal process made it feel so natural for me to know what to say and when and why.

The play was well received, so much so that in September MU decided that the opening production of the regular school year should be ordinary people, held over from the summer to start out the academic season strong. The entire cast was available to do a two weekend run of the show, with the exception of the actor playing my therapist. Enter a young actor, a senior at MU to take over the role.

My name is John Ham and I played doctor Tyrone C. Berger in the nineteen ninety two production at the Rheinsberger Theater at the University of Missouri, Columbia of Ordinary People. doctor Tyrone C. Berger. Which sounds like too funny too funny a name. Yeah. In the next episode of Dead Eyes, you'll hear me talk to John Ham about his own struggles in show business. Les Moonvis at CBS had told my agents to stop sending me in because and I quote, John Ham will never be a television star.

Wow, wha what did you feel like when you heard that? Uh not great. See? Nobody has it easy, not even John Ham.

Look, I know. I am looking for answers to some very stupid questions. This isn't a vendetta. I I don't want this to be the story of some bitter actor holding a ground. I see this podcast as an opportunity to have some honest conversations with a handful of people who were also directly or indirectly a part of this. Crazy thing that happened to me once. Not a single person involved in this story thought about it again for the rest of their lives. I get I guarantee Everyone has a Deadey story.

And most of them don't actually involve dead eyes, but everybody has a weird disappointing thing happen to them at some point in their lives. So while I'm investigating the specifics of my own past, I'm gonna stumble across other people's stories. Things that blew up their lives, threw them for a loop, baffling failures that either destroyed them completely or forced them to rebuild from the ground up.

If you h if you had to describe me as someone who hadn't who did ha didn't know me. There's times actually I will uh eliminate that from a a breakdown description when sending it to a client, whether it's like ugly man or, you know, unsightly woman. Thank you. And maybe this could all lead to me getting a chance to audition again for Tom Hanks. We'll worry about that later. This isn't about a destination. It's about a journey. the journey to solve the mystery. of my dead eyes.

Dead Eyes is a production of Headgum Studios. It was created by me, Connor Ratliff. It's written by me and it's mostly me that you hear talking about. Show is produced and edited by Harry Nelson and Mike Komite. Special thanks to Jared O'Connell, the Reverend John Delore, and to my guests, Darcy Cardin and Zach Woods.

If you like Deadeyes, please let us know by doing all the things that podcasts ask you to do. Subscribe, rate, review, follow us on Twitter, tell your friends about this show. Especially if you're friends with Tom Hanks. Do you remember the scene at the end of Captain Phillips where he's getting checked by the doctors? I mean that's a spoiler, he lives. Uh it is one of the most astounding pieces of screen acting I have. and you can tell him I said that. That was a hidgum original.