Grandma says to stop pacing. You're creating a draft.
I just got a call from AJ. She just had a chat about a text quoting a blog about Christopher Wilde. He's singing tonight at Alexis Bender's birthday party. I have to go.
Good luck convincing mom and dad of that. Go with me. No.
Now let me go if you go too.
How many times do I have to say this? I'm not interested in meeting a stupid celebrity. I mean, I'm sick and tired of Christopher Wilde. He's all you talk about.
I'll shut up. If you go with me and I meet Christopher Wilde, I'll stop talking about him for the rest of the trip.
How about the rest of your life?
How about we never talk about this movie for the rest of my life? Hey, Val.
Hey, Al.
Welcome to D Commentaries.
Thank you. Welcome to you and welcome to our listeners. Today, we're talking about Starstruck.
And it sure does feel like a star came down from the sky and struck me in the eyeballs after watching this movie.
Anyway, Starstruck came out February 14, 2010. So we're now in 2010.
Okay. I'm a junior in high school.
Woo. And, this really launched 2010, I guess, for the comms.
Just your delivery. So funny.
If you can't tell, I hate this movie.
Wait. Let me let me look up what you texted me. Val said, I'm suffering through this stupid movie.
And I was. I was suffering through it. On my day off of work, no less. Well, it happened, and it is because I love you, Ali, that I did it.
It's because I love you that we're here now. So let's get to this.
Let's do it. Okay. So, Starstruck was directed by Michael Grossman. I don't think he did any other DCOMs, but he did a lot of other television directing. Some notables that he did like lots of episodes for were The Invisible Man, Buffy, Angel, Charmed, Zoe 101, Drop Den Diva, and Pretty Little Liars.
So Okay.
Definitely a pretty extensive TV directing resume. Yeah. Then we had Annie De Jong and Barbara Johns as the two writers of this movie. Barbara Johns didn't have many credits to her name. She had something called Firefly Lane, which I had never heard of before. But Annie De Jong, we we know. She also wrote Johnny Capahala back on board, return to halloween and return to Halloweentown as as well as this one. So this was her last one that she wrote.
Okay.
And I liked Johnny Capahala back on board. I didn't love Return to Halloweentown. Yeah. And then this one, I did not like. So it's kind of a crapshoot. I don't know if it was entirely her writing that was, like, the cause of me not liking it. I think it was also, like, directing choices, acting choices, just there was a lot that was just exhausting in this movie. But they're definitely I definitely do blame her writing along with those other things for Yeah. For this. For sure.
Sure. Okay. The it's
we got a
pretty big cast here. So the cast is as follows. Sterling Knight played Christopher Wilde, our heartthrob singer slash sort of aspiring actor. He was in Eve, 17 again, Mackenzie Falls, Sonny with a Chance, so random, Melissa and Jomi and in the rough among other things, so he's been working. Danielle Campbell played Jessica Olsen.
She was in The Originals, Runaways, Tell Me a Story, and The Rookie, among other things. K. You might notice that basically no one in this cast is in any other DCOMs, which I think is also part of the problem. None of them understand what a DCOM is. Maggie Castle plays Sarah Olsen, her older sister.
She was in The Time Traveler's Wife, Todd in The Book of Pure Evil, and something called Arthur. Brandon Michael Smith played Albert Joshua Stubby Stubbins, Chris' best friend. He has probably the longest resume on this list. He was on Unfabulous, Phil of the Future, Sonny With a Chance, So Random. He will be in Let It Shine.
He was in Get On Up, You're the Worst, Four Weddings and a Funeral, The Show, and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So he's both a live action and a voice actor, which is why he has a pretty big resume. Chelsea Staub played Alexis Bender, Chris' sort of famous by association girlfriend. You might recognize her from Minutemen where she played a much more likable character. She was also on the show Jonas.
She was in Fishhook's baby daddy and Archibald's next big thing. Yep. Matt Winston played Alan Smith. I believe he was the movie director who Chris is trying to impress. He was in Fight Club. He was in Passport to Paris. He was in keeping keeping the faith, kicking and screaming, little miss sunshine. I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, and he is a character actor, so he's been in lots and lots of things.
Yes. You would recognize him if you saw him.
100%. Tony Trucks played Libby Lam. She's the sort of TMZ purse anchor person. She was in the movie Barber Shop. She was in Ruby Sparks, Franklin and Bash, and most recently, she's on Seal Team. Yes.
It's still on TV, I think. Yeah.
It is. Well, technically, it's on Paramount Plus. They moved it off of CBS to try and draw people to Paramount Plus. K. Then we have Beth Littleford as Barbara Olsen, their mom.
She was on Spin City, the hard times of RJ Berger, crazy stupid love, dog with a blog, which I thought was funny, and love Victor. Dan O'Connor played Dean Olsen, their dad, and he's just a character and voice actor. Like, I didn't know any of his credits, really, but he was in tons of stuff. Alice Herson played grandma Olsen. She was a big, soap opera person.
She was on Another World, One Life to Live, Dallas, and Ellen. Probably one of the people who became the most famous is a person with a really small part in this movie. It's Sukrish Bala, who plays, doctor Sanjay Ladd, who is, Chris's brother-in-law. He was in Notes to the Underbelly, Castle, and most recently, Good Trouble. Nice.
Yeah. Okay. That's enough. The synopsis is as follows. A Midwestern girl goes to Los Angeles with nothing more in mind than visiting her grandparents while her sister tries to meet her idol. One night, she meets the rising Hollywood pop star. They go on an adventure around Los Angeles and start to like each other. When the girl returns home, the famous guy on national TV says he doesn't know her and never met her. K. Well, first of all, there's a typo in this synopsis.
2nd of all, why are they not saying their names? 3rd of all, that's almost the entire story. Mhmm.
Does that mean I don't have to do the synopsis now?
Yeah. Let's just skip it.
Yeah. Let's skip it today. Today's pod's gonna be 25 minutes.
Okay. The only fun fact in this one is that Sterling Knight only sang the song starstruck, like, on the soundtrack because he was cast so late. So all the rest of the songs were actually performed by Drew Ryan Scott.
Hope you're well.
Yep. Okay. Business done. Al, what were your first impressions of this movie?
Thanks, Val. They weren't great. My first impressions of this movie was this movie is bad. Yeah. This is a bad movie. I also have a disclaimer of I watched this, like, a month ago because we had to reschedule some things. So Val watched it today. I watched it a month ago. I have already put it in the back of my head. Like, if you've seen Inside Out, this movie is in there with bing bong.
Okay? So my synopsis is probably going to be incorrect. That's fine. That being said, I rate this movie a 2a half.
Yeah. That's right.
These characters are so unlikable. And I love the idea of, like, this. And especially as a kid, I always dreamed of, like, having this happen to me, and I'm really glad I didn't see this movie when I was a kid. Man, it's bad.
It's very bad.
It's bad. The reason that it does ring a bell is that it is similar to the idea of you, which just came out with Anne Hathaway and the glitz galitzine. Because he is a pop star, and she is a regular person, and they fall in love.
It's very naughty, though.
But it's a rom com. So I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna stand on the Notting Hill and say I do not like the movie Notting Hill.
Woah. I love the movie Notting Hill. It's one
of my favorites. I honestly kinda hate
it. Wow. Alright.
The rom com queen has spoken. Me.
Okay.
Look at us talking about anything but this movie. So, yeah, this was a tough watch from what I can remember. Val, first impressions.
Thanks, Al. Yeah. I wrote exactly the same thing. Nobody in this movie is likable. Like every single person is asinine for various reasons. And so it makes it really hard to watch because who are you rooting for? Who do you care about? Why do you wanna need them to be happy? Like No. And they don't even change. Like, they literally don't change. Like, they're trying to make the message of this movie that they're good just the way they are. And in this instance, no. They're not. Mhmm.
Like, no. They're not at all. And it's funny because this concept is a fun concept. Right? Like, base the basic premise of this movie is that the older sister is obsessed with this singer and, like, go is trying to go out of her way to try and meet him. And, ultimately, the younger sister who could not care less ends up actually meeting him and falling for him. And, like, that's in and of itself. That is a fun idea.
Right? Mhmm.
And even having her be kind of skeptical of him or just sort of not interested in, like, the concept of celebrity is not a bad idea. But the way that it's played in this movie is she is just sour. Like, she is just sour from start to finish. Like, literally, the first thing I wrote is, like, sour puss. Like, I like, she just is sitting there giving the stink eye in the corner, and, like, this is the lead of your movie?
Like, this is the main character you're Mhmm. And, like, he's you know, I felt like the guy, Sterling Knight, did the best he could with what he was given. Like, I felt like he his unlikability was 100% in the writing of his character. Coming off that way. But, like, the the the things that he has to do and say and, like, the ways that he's supposed to react to things, it's, like, why would any human person do this?
And not only just do this, but, like, they go around and around and around, like, 5 or 6 times doing the like, having the same problem over and over.
And I think that's what our problem is when we don't like movies. That's that's our problem. But but it's an it's a recurring theme of movies we don't like Yes. When you've done the trope the same time.
Yes.
What's the movie with is it Hounded?
Yeah. Well, hound Hounded? Like Hounded. I don't remember. Yeah.
Where is, like, the same thing?
Yes. Yeah. Like, we're not learning anything from the previous time that this happened. Like, why is this happening multiple times just to fill 90 minutes? Like, that's not a good reason to do it. So, yeah, it sucked. And, like, the like, everyone sucks. Like, his parents suck. Their parents are whatever. They don't just aren't really present.
And then, like, her grandma is probably the best character in the whole movie, and she has, like, 5 lines. Like, the director like, again, the actor is doing what he can with that part, but, like, his whole purpose for existing is just to tell Chris to stay out of the tabloids for a weekend. Like Right. They couldn't have just said, you know, like, he got in trouble again, like, just stay out of the tabloids. Like, I don't know.
It there was just, like, a lot in this that felt very, like, manufactured. And, like, the the first, like, scene and a half, like, felt very much like stuff I've written, which is not, you know, like, when you're overexplaining or, like, setting up too much exposition or whatever, like, you know, I'm not a professional screenwriter, at least not yet. And I make a lot of rookie mistakes, and, like, a person writing for pay for, like, should not be making those mistakes. Yeah.
1 hundo.
Anyway, that's a lot of first impressions. Long and
short of it Passionate passionate first impressions.
Did not like this movie. And, also, just one other quick thing. For a movie that is literally filled with musical numbers, the sound mix of this movie, because I was listening to it in headphones, is awful. Awful.
Yeah. It was really bad.
It was so bad. Like, not just the musical numbers either. Like, the whole thing. Like, the sound mixing is terrible.
There was one time where they were walking down the street, and you could tell that there was a problem. And then it cut to, like, terrible sound and then back to normal sound. And, yeah, it was really bad.
It was
really bad. It was really bad.
Okay. Al, quotes or moments? Any? I'm not even gonna say favorite. Just any?
Yeah. I didn't have any favorite moments. My favorite moment was the credits. But I had a a couple quotes. Is it too late for me to be an only child? You drive me straight there and then come back to this fabulous life. You're gonna pay for this. I already am. We all saw your sister on TV, and we all thought she looked wacko. Go away. I actually live here, and that's it.
Good choices. Good choices.
Val, what were your favorite or nonfavorite or just some quotes or moments?
Thanks, Al. So the first quote I wrote down is horrible. So his parents say, it's your chance at what we've always wanted. And I was just like, well, that is actually pretty good writing. Right? Because that's just, like, so clear. Like, his parents are living vicariously through him. So I did find that to be interesting. Not necessarily a good quote, but interesting.
Mhmm.
And then at one point, someone literally says, you could fall and break a hip. And I just put my hand to my forehead. At one point, Chris says to Jessica, just stay, and she goes, woof.
Yeah. Like a little dog.
Yeah. Jessica says, you know, Sarah, in a weird way, you're a good sister. And then her sister says, pretend like you don't know me.
I wish I wish that would have stopped it. Thought about a better line.
And as far as favorite moments, I don't have any, but, my least favorite moment is when Sarah, her older sister, faints because she finally gets to meet Christopher Wilde, her hero. And Stubby, his best friend, who they've been kind of weirdly shipping her with the entire movie, literally drags her away unconscious. And I know it was played for a laugh and it was meant to be funny, but, like, it made me deeply uncomfortable that they did that. Yeah. One more thing to put on the pile of things that stink about this movie.
Okay. Al, let's let's just I've, I've gone to the Christopher Wilde concert and ripped my top off.
And in this scenario, Christopher Wilde is and everyone attending is over the 80s.
Right. We're not at the under 21 club.
Christopher Wilde reunion Tour.
Yes. Thank you.
He is now in his forties. That's right.
And now our tops are off, and we are in Spoiler City. We we drove in that pink car.
Yeah. We drove in the pink car, Spoiler City Arena.
Love it.
I am going to do my best to remember this movie, and I'm gonna disclaimer it right now. I don't care if I'm right or wrong. I So whatever I say is how this this movie went. Great. Okay. We start with Christopher Wilde who is a pop star, and he we are introduced to him by singing a song. So we open, and he's singing a song. And then, he's on he's on the TV, and then we cut to Midwestern Michigan, I believe, Kalamazoo.
That's right.
And, Sarah really likes Christopher Wilde and is a big fan. And her sister, Jessica, is not a big fan and is really annoyed. And she's like, turn that off. I hate celebrities. Oh, wait. I'm a little troll. And that's so then I guess what would make this movie more fun is if she was a little troll.
Right. Or if we ever found out what her fucking problem is with celebrities.
She might I might maybe might remember her saying. We we might find out.
Okay. I might have, like, stopped paying attention. No. And she actually
Or we won't, and I'm mis remembering because it's been a while. Okay. So then they're going to LA as a family. You know, you visit grandma on a trip. So they're in LA. And then the boys so Christopher and his friend, go to a party in LA, and his girlfriend, Alexis Bender, who is also famous, is there. And she does not like his BFF, Albert j Stubbins. And she waited for the paparazzi. She's superficial. At this point, we think she's gonna have a bigger role in this movie.
She does not. We get back to school, and they're obsessed with the music. And then the dance is coming up, and they're looking at dresses. And she's like, I don't like this dress. Although, Val, out of all the dresses, the best one was the first one, and they hated it.
I know. And it was the that was the best one. Okay. Then we go back to Christopher's house, and he, like, clearly owns the house, but his parents are, like, business parents where they're, like, running his life for him. And so they're like, you need to be better and but, like, wearing suits, but also, like, not gonna tell him they love him type appearance.
Then this guy, Alan, comes over to Christopher's house, and he's a movie producer slash director. And he's like, you gotta stay out of the tabloids. I need you to prove to me that you're a serious actor. And he's like, yeah. Yeah.
I could do that. So he's like, I'll put you in my movie if you can keep your face out of the tabloids for, like, 1 week. Sure. So then the girls fly to LA. So Sarah needs to go to Alexis's birthday because Christopher is singing at Alexis's birthday, and Jessica is super annoyed. But if she goes, okay. Well, this is our cold open. You remember it. Mhmm. Then the BFF, Stubbs and Christopher are talking before the party, and he's like, dude, you gotta cover for me.
I gotta stay out of the spotlight, but I have to sing at this party. I can't not go to this birthday party and sing. So then they, like, disguise, and they walk down the alley to get in the back door. So he's not going through the front with all the paparazzi. He got him through the back door.
It's like the paparazzi don't know back doors exist.
Right. Sarah uses Stubbs as a cover to get into the party. No idea how. She kinda, like, trips into him and then is like, hey. Oh my god. I can't believe I saw you here. And then he's like, okay. And, like, they definitely have some sexual chemistry that we never, explore, but he's like, you're cute. I'll let you in. Christopher performs.
We have a musical number. Bingo. Then Jessica gets tired of waiting in the car, and she goes to look for Sarah. But then she ends up down the same alley that Christopher used to go into the building. And right at the same time, they run into each other, and he, like, hurt her head, like, got a concussion.
He takes her to, like, the emergency room after putting her in the car, and she threw up on Stubbs' shoes. And then I, they're in the hospital. How do they not call their parents? Don't worry. We find out how because the doctor is Christopher's brother-in-law.
So he's doing this under the table for them. Of course, he's a doctor in LA. Then the parents try to, like, get him back home because Alan is at their house for a party, so they're like, you gotta come home from wherever you are. We need you to here to sing for the movie producer. There's paparazzi at the hospital. So the doctor and Christopher switched
because
because we just don't see her until the next morning. We don't like, that was never resolved. I was really bothered by that.
Yeah.
So then he takes her to her his house. So out of the hospital, she's not concussed, but let me take you to my house. And this is a point where 14 year olds should have cell phones. Okay. So he takes her to the house, and then he, like, hides her in the guest room of, like, no one can know you're here because you're a normal person.
She's like, okay. Well, I don't even like you, so I'll stay in your room. He sings an acoustic set for everyone. They make eyes on the balcony. It's not talked about again for another 45 minutes. She's mean. She is mean to him. She is mean, mean, mean and wants to be taken home. The paparazzi follows them, and she tells him that she's not a fan of him. I like your music, but you you don't know me.
You I don't know you. You're just a superficial celebrity. I don't like you. But then because the paparazzi followed, he has to stay at her house, and so they pull his car into grandma's garage. And he borrows grandpa's clothes because grandpa is no longer with us. May he rest in peace. And then he sleeps in the garage. Then they go to the garage the next morning, and Jessica's like, no. Don't go in the garage. Already gone.
Woah. Grandma says that the girls can take the car that they have to go to the beach where where he serves because Sarah's still trying to look for Christopher Wilde. And there and there he is at the beach in grandpa's floppy hat, his little bucket hat. She knew exactly where to look because he's at the beach where he likes to surf. I hope my monotone is as fun for everyone else as it is doing it.
Then they hijinx their way out from the paparazzi, and we have a flirty LA montage. Perfect day, but then the paparazzi shows up. And then she tries to get the map out, and they lose their way. And then they're fighting, and then they get stuck in the mud. And then the the car quick sands into the the sand and muck, and then they fall and the car is gone.
Those are real events that happened. They can't reach their parents, so she needs to go back into the muck to get her backpack. They get mad at each other, but Sarah has the keys. I don't know what keys. Okay. Then they fight about him being unlikable. She is rude because his life isn't real. That's why she doesn't like celebrities because your life isn't real. You've never had to work at a shoe store. You've never had to pick gum off your shoe.
I don't know what she said. And she yells at him. And he was about to, like, confess something, but then he pulls her in her into because they're, like, walking out of, like if you've ever been to California, they have, like, the valley. So they basically were in, like, coming over the mountains back toward the beach into, like, a dry escape mountainside. So they're basically they left their car and are walking back to civilization.
So at this point, because they were fighting, he pulls her into what can only be an E. Coli pond. Like, these people are gonna get tetanus. They're getting E. Coli.
Also, they're literally screaming at each other, and then, like, he pulls her into a pond, and all of a sudden, they're like,
It's very much like the boy who who likes you at school hits you on the playground.
It was
so It's giving it's giving that. It was awful. So then he he confesses about his parents and his life and how he does it for the fans. And he goes, you like me, and she goes, you wish. So he, like, doesn't really like this celebrity life. And I and it's because of, like, the paparazzi paparazzi are intruding on his life. So he doesn't have any privacy, basically. So then they, quote, walked back to the beach. Impossible. They're holding hands.
They are holding hands at this point, and they con confess their likeness. They're like, I like you. I like you, but it's not done yet.
And they almost kiss.
They almost kiss. Sarah ends up at his house with Stubby somehow. So the sister is now with Stubby in his house. How did that happen? We don't know.
Because Jessica it's so stupid. Jessica insists on taking his keys and get leaving them with Sarah because they're taking the pink car. And so Sarah has his keys to his, like, fancy car and finds the car and then realizes it's his car because
That's right.
His driver's license is just in the visor of the car. This is a guy who owns 6 cars, but he keeps his driver's license in the visor of this one.
1. Okay. So then they're at the house, and then we cut back to the beach where they do almost kiss, but then the surfers run by and are ruined. So she can't tell anyone, because I'm Christopher Wilde, and you're just an ordinary girl. And So so that they fight again.
Yeah. They fight constantly in this movie. Constantly. His intention is valid. But, like, he never once articulates himself until, like Yeah. Way later about, like, what he actually means by that. It's awful. Like, I know I understand he's a 17 year old boy, but, like, freaking say it in a way that makes sense to anyone. Okay. Sorry. Keep going.
That's okay. Okay. So then there they fight, and she tries to leave. So she's like, I'm leaving. And he goes, stop. So you think that he's about to be like, I'm sorry. I like you. Whatever. No. He wants her camera.
He wants her camera where they had been taking all of these pictures because what if she, like, posts them? And she's like, are you fucking kidding me? And this is the one time that I will take her side because I don't think that I like her very much. But in this one moment, I will take her side because that was a bitch move. And then she turns around, walks away, like, throws a camera at him, and then she has nothing.
She has no backpack, no money, no phone, nothing. She has to turn around and walk back to him and ask him for money to get home.
And then he hands her 5,000
dollars, and we'll leave it at that. So then they leave as if to never speak again, and then they fight about being crazy with the paps. They both don't get one another's side. You don't understand what it is to live like me. You don't understand what it is to live like me.
So then she finds a pay phone. The the paparazzi swarms. And so now it's, like, kind of like it's out that, like, she was noticed. He writes a song, and one of the lyrics is an ordinary girl. So he's, like, writing this nostalgic remember that shitty thing I said about you?
I'm gonna monetize it. He's Taylor Swifting. And then we get a montage. And then he misses her, and then Alexis, the girlfriend from the very beginning, she walks in, and she's like, I heard you were cheating on me and breaking up with you. And he's like, we weren't really dating.
The family flies back to Michigan, and then the paparazzi did end up finding Jessica through the paparazzi Libby Lamb, who was a TRL person who was a recurring character who we never mentioned because it's not important. And then Alan doesn't want him in the movie now because he didn't stay out of the paparazzi. But if he makes the story go away, then he can be in the movie. So he's like, if you just, like, say this is all a fluke, then you can be in the movie. The paparazzi end up in Michigan at their house in Kalamazoo.
He goes on to the TRL show called starstruck, and he's like, I've never met that woman in my life. Sorry to this man. I don't know who that man is. That's a Keke Palmer reference. And she's literally, like she cries and stands up for herself in the paparazzi, and she shits on him again.
She's like, he is terrible. Stubbs, the best friend, kinda sticks up to him too, and he's like, dude, you have to, like, give a shit about this. And Alan is excited to see him, and he's like, no. I don't wanna be in your movie. And Alan's like, wait.
I kinda like that you just told me no. He asks parents to be parents and not business parents. Jessica is going to homecoming. Oh, this is where the dresses were. JK, she's trying on Sarah's dress is one of Sarah's friends makes fun of Jessica for looking dumb on TV. We saw your sister. She looked wacko. Sarah, brings Jessica to the dance. Christopher shows up in Kalamazoo, Michigan to perform at the dance. He sings at her, and they lock eyes and don't blink.
I want the world to see what you mean to me. And then the paps show up, and Starstruck shows up. And he says he knows her, and he's crazy about her. Sarah faints, but Stubbs is there. They have sunglasses from the sunglasses moment earlier. They were wearing sunglasses earlier. It's important again at the end. And then they grab awkward hands and dance. I think it was some sort of, like
Yeah.
It was like this. Clasp. Yeah. And they were like this, which was not happening at, like, 2010 dances in my neighborhood. And then it ends with a Stubs concert, And I never need to talk about this movie ever again in the 1.
Oh, and they also fight at the end. Oh. My god. They fight again.
I'm tired of this because boy, oh, boy. It's too much.
Too much.
Too much. Honestly, if you like this movie, I need you to slide in our DMs and tell me why.
Yeah. Like, it is exhausting to watch this movie. I I because I don't get it. I was so checked out of this movie. Yeah. Like, a lot of the other movies that I have not liked, it's because they were over the top and campy and things like that. And, like, at least that's, I guess, engaging. You know what I mean? Like Mhmm. You you don't necessarily like what you're watching, but it's holding interest to some degree.
This was just I couldn't I literally couldn't make myself pay attention to this about 2 thirds of the way through. Because I was just like, this is the same argument over and over and over, and I just don't wanna watch 2 people yell at each other for this long. It was exhausting.
I'm tired talking about it.
Alright. Alright. Well, we did it. We did it.
We're we're done with the podcast.
No. We still have a couple things left.
Oh, okay. What do we have to do now?
Would you like to play some bingo?
I would love to, but only because it's with you.
Oh, thanks, pal. Right back at you.
Oh, thanks. One hit wondersong. I mean, Sterling Knight hasn't had many songs.
No, if any. So, yeah, let's count it. Alright. Let's get it. Breaking the 4th wall looking into the camera.
The TRL person.
Yeah. Because it's like news. Yes. Counts. That's true.
Holiday themed.
No. Clunky metaphor. I feel like there's something in the cars, but I don't care. Something in the cars.
Okay. Parents who just don't get it. The business parents.
Yep. Cool non parent adult. There's no one cool in this movie.
No. Someone too famous for a TV movie.
No. No. Mm-mm. Competition to resolve central problem.
No. No. A montage sequence. Yes.
Yeah. Several. Cliche villains. I don't think there's really, like, villains. They're the villains.
Yeah. I don't think there's villains.
You know what I just realized? I feel like this is supposed to be a play on Pride and Prejudice. Maybe. Like, it really now that I'm thinking about it, it feels like that's what it was trying for. Mhmm.
I've only seen it once, and I don't know if I, got it as much as everyone else gets it.
It's like, even the fact that the older sister ends up with the best friend like, there's a lot, actually, now that I'm thinking about it.
But I'm 27. I have no money and no prospects. I'm going to die alone. What did she say?
I don't know.
Clothes or item you own?
So I had a ton of disposable cameras.
Oh, that's a good one. My family did too.
Mhmm. Gen z, we used to have cameras that we could go get developed at Walgreens, and, and then you would just get the pictures back. Like, the the camera was just Yeah.
For, like, 5 books. And now it's, like, 35.
Yeah. But it was great. Like, we would take them to camp. A lot of people would use them at their weddings, like, put them on the tables. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a pretty fun thing. Mhmm.
They're kinda coming back around kinda how, like, Polaroids are coming back around.
Yeah. Yeah. Rotten Tomatoes 40 to 60. I'm gonna give this what
I I'm gonna where were you? What do you wanna say?
I would well, I wanna give it what it what it I think it deserves, which is, like, 27, but I know it's probably higher than that. Correct. It's 67. No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
That's why I need someone who likes this movie to slide in our DMs and tell me why.
No. No. I can't.
No. Alright. Happily ever after.
I mean, I guess, until they have their next fight.
They don't last.
Man, the more I'm thinking about it, the more I realize this is based on Pride and Prejudice. And it makes me mad because I really like pride and pride.
Famous, the Pride and Prejudice guy?
He's he's really wealthy. He's, like, like, he's famous in a different kind of way. But people fawn over him kind of similarly because he's, like, a good catch because he's, you know, comes from money. Okay. Yeah. Almost kissing. Yes? Textbook. Yes.
Yep. Someone who became famous. There's a couple people with, like, a 1000000 followers on Instagram.
Really?
Daniel Campbell, the lead
Oh, Jessica?
Has has 3,200,000 followers. Wow. I think I think I with 33,000,000 followers is pretty famous.
No. For sure. For sure.
Alright. I don't know what you're doing. I wasn't really listening, so I was following you on Instagram. So
Betraying of one's real friends or values. Yes. When he says he doesn't know her.
Your childhood crush. Yeah. I'm sorry to say because he was on Hannah Montana.
Oh, was he?
Or he was in a show that I watched. Hold on. I gotta pull it back up.
He was on he was in 17 again.
Oh, that's what it was. No. He's in Hannah Montana. Don't know who he was in Hannah Montana. Okay. I'm marking it.
Okay. K. Obviously, bad special effects or stunts. Honestly, the car sinking was kind of a good
Pretty cool. Effect.
Yeah. Yeah. Alright. None. Yeah. I can't think of anything else.
Dixie channel star. I mean, he was on shows, and we had people who are on Sunny with a Chance. The mom was on dog with a blog. Cool. I think we mark it because a a culmination of Disney Channel Stars.
Sounds good to me. Musical number. Many.
So many. They didn't need to be in there, and I said that's coming from me. Magic?
No. None magic. Benefited from some magic.
The magic of celebrity.
Someone says the title of the movie. Yes. It's the first song Yes. In the movie.
Yes. Scooby Dude.
There's nothing Scooby Doo. No.
There's something Scooby Doo.
Yeah. Okay. The heroes create the problem.
Yes. Because they're both assholes. Yeah. Lead is a fish out of water.
No. Not really. I mean, I you could maybe say she is in the world of celebrity, but, like, meh.
Yeah. Alright, Val. Not a surprising day. We have no bingo.
Shocking. I'm shocked. Shocking.
Alright. Well but maybe you'll win here. This one's for money. Just kidding. $5,000? It's for $5,000 straight from my pocket that I've been carrying around this entire time that didn't sync with us in the car because I've been carrying it around in my wallet.
And it's also dry and clean. Yep. Mhmm. Not muddy at all.
This one is called name that celebrity. I'm gonna give you a movie title and a character in the movie who plays a celebrity.
Oh, okay.
So this is not like Keanu Reeves is playing himself.
Right.
This is this is like Keanu Reeves is in a movie playing a celebrity.
And what's the name of that celebrity?
And you have to name the celebrity who plays that person. Oh, I have to This might be hard. Wait. So you have to name this celebrity who's the actor. You have to name the actor
Oh, okay.
Who plays the celebrity in
the movie. Okay. I see. Okay. Yeah.
Alright. Movie number 1, win a date with Tad Hamilton.
Oh, He was in everything for, like, 5 years, and then he just, like, vanished.
Married to Fergie. He was they're not married anymore, but they weren't married.
It's like that, da da da da. Like, it's I know I know what it is. It's just I don't know. Go ahead.
Josh Duhamel.
See? I had the I had the right syllables. That's that's that's that.
Josh Duhamel. Duhamel. You do not get the point.
No. Thank you. That's okay.
Okay. In the movie Just Friends, pop star Samantha James is played by
Oh, no. I literally don't remember. I I don't I only remember Ryan Reynolds and what's her face?
Yeah. I don't know. Anna Faris.
Oh, okay. Mhmm. That's a good movie. I haven't seen it in a really long time.
I hate that movie.
Really?
It is like I I hate it more than I hate Notting Hill. Wow. I hate the movie Just Friends.
Interesting. You and I have very different taste in romcoms, I think. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. You kind.
Okay. In Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Aldous Snow is played by
Oh, god. What is his name?
I went for the hard ones.
It's like I could draw him, but I don't know his name.
What does he look like, Val?
This is, like, when I could sing every line of a song, but I don't know the name of the song or who sings it. Shoot. What is his name?
I would describe him as scraggly.
Yeah. Oh, he's very scraggly, and he has a cockney accent. And he's He
was married to Katy Perry.
He was. What the heck is his name?
Everyone is listening to this screaming. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.
I'm sorry, guys. My brain is not working fully today. I can't I can't get it.
Russell Brand. Oh, yeah. Okay. This one's my favorite. In Home Alone, Gus Polinski, polka king of the Midwest, is played by who?
John Candy.
Yeah. Gus Polinski, Polka King of the Midwest, Polka Polka, I know you might know that one. I love I rewatched it because I pulled it up. I rewatched it, and I think it's so funny. He was like, yeah. We sold 6 128 scenes.
I love that movie. We watch it every Christmas.
As you must. Yeah. Alright. Last one.
I'm gonna go 0 for 0. I guarantee it. Oh, no. I got one already.
No. You got one. I got one. You're one for 4. Our DCOM roots, the movie model behavior, Jason Sharp is played by who?
I don't think. Have we watched that?
It is not technically a DCOM because it was before Disney Channel original movies were, like,
a thing. I do not even know what that movie is, so I couldn't
Valerie Allory Agnew. Everyone is once again screaming at you. It is Justin Timberlake.
Oh, okay. Yep. Relevant. Relevant today or this week.
Absolutely insane that you've never seen bowel behavior because that was a formative movie for me as a small wee wee little blonde child who looked like a German boy.
Well, let's add it to the list of happy scenes.
Oh, let's do it. Alright, Val. Congratulations. You went 1 for 5.
Thank you. I'm glad
I know there's someone out there who went 5 for 5.
Oh, 100%. And if I'd maybe slept a couple more hours last night, maybe I would've gotten one more.
Maybe. Alright, Val. Well, that was a time. You know, any time with you is a time well spent. Yes. But boy, oh, boy, I don't ever need to see this again.
Nope. Definitely not. And, unfortunately, this is the last one for a few weeks for us. We're taking a couple weeks off. It's my fault.
You can blame me. I'm moving, and the prospect of moving with a small child and also just having to move all my equipment and stuff for this means that it probably makes more sense for us to just not release episodes in July. So we'll be back in August, and, we'll miss you in the meantime. And if you don't wanna have this be the last thing you hear from us, go ahead and go back and listen to something else in the catalog.
You can still listen to our voices. Yeah. 1, by going back and listening. 2, I'll give give us a call. If you know us personally, you can give us a call.
You can. And if you don't know us personally, you can become a Patreon patron, and maybe we'll record something special for you. We'll
give you a call. And, also, Val, you said, unfortunately I don't know that it's unfortunate because it is a very exciting time for you and your family, and all of us support you in your move. And we're not taking off 4 months again. We're taking off 1. Yes.
That is true. That is all true. And I'm not moving far, so we're we're still gonna be in the same city.
Far, wherever you Copyright. Okay.
Yeah. We just needed to, you know, have a bedroom for our child who's currently sleeps in the foyer.
Yeah. I think that's a smart choice, Val, and we all support you. So we will be back in August with a surprise. Whatever comes next, we're not gonna tell you.
Also, if you haven't already, go back and listen to our episode where we interviewed Johnny freaking tsunami.
Johnny freaking tsunami.
It's the episode right before this one, and it was such a fun conversation. Please Nicest
man on the world.
Truly the nicest person ever. And if you haven't gotten married yet and you are about to consider hiring him to be your wedding officiant, because then you could have Johnny Tsunami be your wedding officiant.
How cool would that be? Or you could ask me or Val do it.
It's true. We're all redeemed. All 3 of us.
Alright. I love you, Val.
I love you, Val.
Bye, Val.
Bye, Al. This podcast was produced by me
and me, and it was edited by me. The music was composed by Michael McNally.
You can find us online at the tridentnetwork.com/dcommentaries hyphen pod. And you can
find us on Instagram and TikTok at d commentaries.
D commentaries is a part of the Trident network. To learn more about our videos, live shows, and other podcasts, please visit the trident network dot com.
Disney Channel Original Movies.
Damn it, Ali.