We have a plethora of emails for the Minnesota goodbye. When I say the word pletha, yes, let me know, does anybody get that reference besides me?
I know that what the word means.
Okay, right, Okay. So in the movie nineteen eighty five or six, Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Chevy Chase were in a movie called Three Amigos and basically, I don't give it, there's no point giving the plot, but they meet this Mexican gang and one of the guys and that's a comedy because they're Mexican gangsters, but they're all stupid and funny. So it's like, yes, we have a plethera, and one guy's like a plethora yes see signor a pletha.
And it's funny because it's just like one guy doesn't quite know why the other guy's saying plethora because it's such a weird word. It is a weird word, and it's just funny in the same way that Napoleon Dynamite is funny even though you don't really quite understand it. Okay, we love it. So a pltha of emails here we go all the way from Austin, Texas. I know I'm a little bit late on this one, but I remember you guys talking a few weeks ago when I had
a sneezing fit just now. You're guys were talking about your favorite cuss words and phrases. I found one that always makes me feel better whenever I get frustrated somebody cut me off in traffic to any minor inconvenience, like my aforementioned sneezing fit. My favorite phrase is god fucking bitch cock motherfucker. Woh Jesus, god fucking bitch cock motherfucker. Now a bit random, and I have no idea where it came from, but it just came out one day
and stuck with me. I've even got my wife saying it now. Love the show. Keep it up, you guys. Dark spit dark, let's see dart spit lick spit lick lick spit All right, hopeing I can snag one of them stickers. Yes, all the way from Austin, Texas. You got it, And I won't say your name.
Some of y'all are nasty.
Some of y'all and nasty, all right. Next one, mary Anne. Now you might remember Marianne. I do, because Marianne is probably thirty five ish year years old, and she came up to the State Fair in twenty twenty three when Drake was on the show, and she's like, do you guys want to hear my Drake impression? Now, Drake used to be on our show. That's what he would talk like, not Drake the artist. And she's very funny and she's a smart ass. She says, Hi, besties, I watch your
live stream yesterday. Thanks for making me late to work. Get bitches. I want to see Dave and font get tased. Ghoulish, I know. Want to tell you about an experience my daughter and I had a dsw and rose Dale Mall involving a taser. They're shopping around, buying shit and neither of us needed. All of a sudden, we heard a loud, booming man's voice come from the front door saying get down, stop running, get down.
Oh my god.
We both whip around see a cop standing in the front doorway pointing what looks like a firearm at somebody that we don't see. We just stand like a couple of dumb bitches looking at like, who the fuck? Who the fuck are they looking for? Two seconds later, some little dicey motherfucker comes out of the back of the store. By this time there's six cops in the doorway. It's got a Hollister back on his shoulder because he had just dumped all of his ill gotten goods in the
back of the store. The cop said, get down, get down now, I'm gonna tase you. The little shit did not comply, and the cop tased him. He went down like a fucking pile of shit. Ye I'm talking plank, like for real, some Scooby Doo cartoon shit. Meanwhile, at DSW worker was standing just beside us, and somebody walked in and she said, welcome in and then looked around nervously, and I said, nope that My daughter said, I wonder where he got that hollister bag. He fucking stole it,
you dumb broad. The suspect was clearly in his fifties, had neck tats, charming fucking individual. Also, I'm just saying, I'm glad you can't take shit that ain't yours. You fucking pay, you fucking shit, pay for your fucking shit, you fucking shit.
Mary.
Yeah, I love you, Mary Anne. I love you guys. You keep smuckers and eye company all day long. I think that must be your dog or.
Yeah, we met Smuckers at the coats for king.
Yeah, or wherever it.
Was Golden Valley or something. Yeah, Smuckers is acutie, Maryanne.
I love you, and I think that's so funny. And I am so glad that this shit bag got tased and went down like a plank.
Because funny that you described it, because that is like the really intense ones you really do, like your whole body just fucking paralyzes and you go.
Down and you topple like a domino and you land on whatever happens to be facing the floor. And I love that. I hate that people think that they can just walk into a you know, a DSWU or a Walgreens and start scraping shit off the shelves and walk out. I saw one with a guy who had a bunch of like expensive purses, and there was a big woman security guard and she is not letting him have these purses, and he is trying to pull him. And he's a guy, so he's strong, but she was a big, strong woman
and he was kind of a skinny guy. He could not get these purses away from this badass bitch and I'm like, go you badass bitch. Yeah.
We used to have to track when people would come in with other store bags that were empty, because it was so clear that they were about to steal something from us.
Oh dang, like at the Disney Store.
At the Disney Store when I work there. Yeah.
The theoryal among a lot of these people is, you know, all of these rich corporations deserve it. I'm going to go ahead and take a stuffed Mickey and a stuffed Daisy and a Mickey Mouse shirt and fuck you corporation. You can afford it. The problem is because people don't want to admit it is now they make up for
that in charging you and me. More So, when you go into Walgreens and you take along like a box and you scrape off a bunch of shampoos into your box and walk out with it, you might think, well, Walgreens can afford it. Well, yeah, I guess they can. They're not going to go out of business. But who do they pass that cost along too? Who?
Who the consumer?
Yes, Bailey, Yeah, I.
Feel like we're in class right, Yeah, the way I want to raise my hand.
Yeah, it also like sucks too for the people who work there because anytime we had to do like inventory and we find like, oh, we're missing a lot of stuff because someone came in and stole it and we didn't catch it, then we get in trouble for like loss prevention, like oh, you guys need to be better, and then we have to go through a training on lost prevention, and then we have to, you know, show off how good we are at making sure that no
one steals anything. Sucks, So you're really making it a shitty day for the sad little worker who was only getting paid eleven dollars an hour to be there.
Right, and, as my book says, take a shower, show up on time, and don't.
Me me me me, Yeah, go ahead, don't steal anything.
Don't steal anything yet. You both had it yet, so don't steal shit. I know that you're broke. I know that you would love to have this expensive thing or you need you know, Campbell's soup, but you just can't steal it. You know, I'm going to guess that somebody listening is going to be able to justify stealing food because their family's hungry. So if you want to justify that, then let me know how you justify it. Let's see,
and would I steal if my family was hungry? Yeah, probably to feed my family.
Go to a food bank. That's what I would do well.
And that's the thing is, there's a lot of food bank resources that you can go to. And when you go into a food bank, they don't say, hey, show me proof that you're poor. I mean, Jenny's rich. He has a camper van, and she could walk into a food bank and she could, like, you know, load up a big cart full of you know, Campbell soup and craft.
Mac and cheese. Like that's not natural. She has money.
Yeah, it's not fully unnatural.
It is very much died.
Hey, let's see what else we got here, Dave Jenny Bailey. I am forty four years old. I don't remember writing in for a specific famous person. Oh I remember what we did. We talked the other day about writing to somebody famous and what you heard back. I was younger eighties or nineties. I was in a few fan clubs, the Mariah carry fan club and the Mark Paul Gossler fan club. I had a huge crush on Zach Morris
from Saved by the Bell. I think I saw an ad in a magazine for them, or inside a cassette tape where you could write them a letter and get stuff mailed to you. Might have cost ten or twenty dollars and they'd mail you a signed picture, a newsletter, and maybe some other things. Were any of you in any fan club Keep on being Awesome? You had Dart liquors from Liz any fan club, Bailey, you strike me as a fan club member.
Yeah, this is gonna sound so nerdy. So when I was fifteen, I was really into baseball in the Minnesota Twins, like two thousand and five. Team was just like my entire personality. There was a baseball player named lou Ford and he was Yeah, he wasn't necessarily like the best baseball player, but for some reason I was obsessed with lou Ford, so I would go see him anytime he
had like a meet and greet. One time I went to see him at a meet and greet, got my picture taken, and then he had another meet and greet the next day, and I got the picture printed out and I brought it to him so he could sign the picture of this.
Oh yeah, he.
Definitely thought I was weird. I was. I don't know, I was weird. But there was this other woman that was always at the baseball games and she had like a big sign that said like lou Ford Fan Club, and so I was like, oh my god, I love loof Ford. I need to make friends with this lady. So I would talk to this woman every time because my mom used to have like take us through work.
So we went a lot and she gave me a button of lou Ford's face, and I remember being like, what do I have to do to be in the fan club and she said, well, you have a button, so you're in the fan club. And so me and this lady got pretty tight, me and this lou Ford fan club lady. So technically I still have that button. So I'm still in the loof Ford fan close.
It's just the two of you and the fan club.
Probably we were just obsessed with lou Ford for whatever reason. So yeah, I was.
All right, next one, keep me anonymous. I listen to you guys all the time, and I know both you and your listeners will have great advice for me. I am a newlywed and my husband covers the mortgage and electricity. I do the groceries, trash, water, and phone bill. When we go out, we take turns pain but there's no real system in place. It's just something we started when we moved in together and never remember they're married. We do have a joint bank account, but we never actually
use it. That's where my question comes in. How do married couples typically manage their finances. I grew up watching my parents share one bank account, so I'm unsure what's best for us. My husband seems uncomfortable with the way we're handling things, but I wonder if there's a better approach. What do you think, FYI? We both earn about the same amount. Love you guys, thank you, and Jenny, You're my girl. For us. Susan does all the money. She
does all the money. She's good with it, she understands. She goes to the financial meetings. I go to and my eyes glaze over and roll up in the back of my head, and I pray for the clock to move quickly, and She'll be like, oh, well, what that the wroth four ol one k planned with the blah blah blah, why are you? And I'm like, oh fuck, And I'm looking for a window to leap out of.
But Susan does all the money. I trust her. I think sometimes she spends a little frivolously and I don't like that, but I'm not and I think sometimes, honestly, I think she hides purchases from me because I get annoyed when she wastes money. But then she gets annoyed when I spend money on magic.
How much are you wasting?
She spends a lot on the grand kids, buying them toys that they don't need. I mean, if you have a kid or grandkids or niece and nephew, you go to their house. Their house is full of toys. Yeah, they're all over the floor, They're in their toy box, They're all over the living room floor. They don't play with nine out of ten of them. Yeah, But Susan will be like, oh, I found this cute little thingy thing, any thing, and she'll buy it. I'm like, they're never
going to touch it. They don't need it. But to answer the question, Susan does it because I totally trust her?
Yeah, I Well, I've never been married, but I did have a live in boyfriend, so we lived together for too long and we shared so we had the rent where the rent was automatic so it would be cut in half, so we would both pay equal rent, but then all of the utilities. Because I got the apartment it was so it was under my name when I got it, and I lived there for three months without him before he moved in, and so I paid for all of the utilities. And every so often I'd be like, hey,
can you give me some money for these utilities? Or like can you start paying for the Wi Fi? Or can you start paying for whatever? And he'd be like, well, you just have to tell me when you just have to tell me, like how much I owe you? And he'd get so bent out of shape about it, like can't you just put it in your phone as a reminder. You pay the rent and it comes out of your bank account automatically, but you need to be reminded to pay me for the utilities that I'm paying for. So
he only paid half rent. Bro got off so easily.
You don't like this guy. The more you told me about this guy, I don't like him. So let me ask you, Jenny, you handling finances, what do you do well?
I think for like a marriage, what I feel like is like the new norm with millennials is most people have a joint account that covers all of the bills that you both contribute, usually like an equal amount, unless somebody is making significantly more money. And then you still keep your separate accounts for your own personal hobbies and stuff.
I feel like that's kind of the new norm, whereas growing up for me, like everything was shared, Like my parents all their money went into like one bake account and stuff. Yeah, so I think the new one is like, yes, you still keep your separate ones, but then you have the joint one that covers all the things that you guys should be like splitting.
Okay, I don't know that there is a right answer. I think the right answer is what works for you. But you also have to trust the other person. And I think that's one of the big things that couples fight over is money and whether you are spending too much money. Like if I brought home a brand new motorcycle without asking Susan, that would be a bone of contention. Yes,
but I would never do that. And the funny thing is she would have to do all the paperwork and sign everything, and I'd call her up and go, oh, do.
We have money for a dome periment on a more And.
She would have to figure out where that money's going to come from, and we do. It's just a matter of like, you know, I would never do that, and she would probably never go buy a wash or dry without saying, Hey, I'm gonna go run down to Best Buy and get a new washer, tryer, you know. Yeah, all right, next one, this is Janita, and here is Jannita's weekly rant. And let's see what one Nita has for us today. Here we go.
Hey, y'all, So I had a totally different rant already for this week until I was listening to the radio on my way to work this morning and I heard Julia, you have got to be fucking kidding me. First of all, don't put every woman in your goddamn category. Every woman does not fucking need two men. First of all, you said you need one guy that's fun and spontaneous. Then you said you need another guy that's trustworthy. It could be trusted.
Bitch. You just said that you was cheating on your husband and he doesn't even fucking know it. So basically, that's not a woman that needs two men. Bitch, You're just a sluto, So don't put everybody in your category.
I've been with my husband for thirty seven years. We go out together, we have fun together, we do everything together. So I have everything all rolled in the one and I'm pretty sure there's a lot of women out there who have the same thing. Every woman don't need two men. Every whore does. Well, there's my rent for this week. So love you guys. Talk to you next week.
Janita. If you ever decide you need two men, look me up.
Different.
She doesn't even think you're cute.
Okay, how do you know?
She told me?
She did?
She really me, she said, But Blanita, if you missed it also yesterday, make sure you go look at the video of us Taisy and Dave because I did use the taser that you gave me to taste Dave yesterday, So please go do It's on the Instagram Dave Brian show.
Jenny. Yeah, an email from Lauren. I painted my countertops. It was certainly a temporary fix to my ugly countertop. After two years, we ripped him out because I hated the feel and top finish was wearing away around the sync and from washing. Then fortunately my husband was able to replace ours, and with a lot of sweat and swearing. He now has a personal vendetta over who built our cabinets. Ordering mid price countertops from Minars was cheaper than I
had expected. Are they my dream countertop? No, but ten thousand times better than my nineteen sixty seven countertops. Whipe your project goes well and lasts longer than mine from Lauren, I mean.
I only anticipate that they will last like a couple years. But right now, it's just not in my budget to get new countertops and new cabinets and all that stuff, So I feel like it's a temporary fix for now. I did spend probably an hour last night literally watching YouTube videos on how to do it right, so I feel like I'm pretty well versed, and I'm going to give it a go. The stuff arrives tomorrow and I'll hopefully do it over the next handful of days.
I love that you do that. I know that so many people are just like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm going to watch a YouTube video and learn how to do it. Yeah, I don't know how to do anything around the house.
Then he does that all the time, which I always think is really cool.
Yeah, I do It's pretty easy. Just YouTube university is what I like to call it. You just watch the videos and then the important part is to read, like if you're using a specific product, read the reviews and anything that people like dealt with. So for instance, this like epoxy stuff I'm going to be using with the paint, people like gave their opinions of like what they did wrong and stuff. So that's helpful where you're not going to necessarily see that in a video that you're watching
of a tutorial. So I think that that is very helpful as the comment section as well, on top of watching a tutorial.
Okay, it reminds me of a time a few years ago we wanted that I think they used to be called California Closets, but you know what I mean. It's like, yeah, you buy these things and the California Closets person comes by and installs them, and it shelves and racks and hooks and things like that. Well, we bought a little bit more of an upscale version of California Closets and they weren't called that, but it was a do it
yourself kind of thing. So you buy all these measure measure measure, and then they send over this amazing elaborate shelving system, and we hired a handyman, just a handyman to put it in for us, and this poor guy, I felt so bad for him. He was there for probably eight hours a day for probably three days, and he was making you guys. I might have told you, Jenny, it was before your time, Billy. No progress, oh, no
progress at all. And I'd come in every day from work and I'd be like, Oh, I can't wait to see what he's done. I'd walk up into the bedroom and there he'd be with wood and instructions spread out all over the floor, with no progress. And I started to ask Susan. I said, do you think that he's like scamming us because we're paying him hourly and he's getting nothing done. Do you think that maybe he's like
laying around playing on his phone, taking a nap. And I talked to him and he said, I just can't figure it out. They're just so complicated. And I think he really did try. But I told him, I said, it's okay, I'll pay you for your time, but obviously you're not making any progress on this one.
So stop wasting my money.
Yes, so I didn't fire him, but we just both agreed, like, this is not something that's going to work. Yeah, so we hired somebody who did clause it's all the fucking time, probably somebody who does videos on YouTube, and he nailed it within a day or two. So and they're beautiful.
All right.
I wish we had more time, but that is gone to do it for today's Minnesota Goodbye. Now the next couple of days, I'm not gonna be here. I'm on vacation all next week. So loaded up with questions for Jenny and Bailey, and maybe Vaught will be on it too. Maybe maybe he.
Will be on some of them. He's not always on everyone because he's got a lot of other work to do, but he'll probably be on most of them.
Yeah, we do have things to do other than talk on the radio, so I mean, and we do. Really that's maybe not a parent but we do. All right, Thank you for listening, really appreciate you being here, and join us again tomorrow for another Minnesota Goodbye. Oh you can write in and have your own email featured on the Minnesota Goodbye. That email is Ryan Show at KADWB dot com.