We're Not That Cool

One of the frustrations of our business is people who It's the frustration of anything is when you have somebody who they pretend that they like you, but when you don't do exactly what they want, they are done. Let me give an example here, and this is a little bit behind the curtains here with Christmas wish. So I just got an email, and this is in a series of emails from somebody who said, Dave, check your email. I send in a Christmas wish, Dave. I sent in a Christmas wish,

Dave, do you have an update on my Christmas wish? And I looked at the Christmas wish and honestly, it wasn't exactly what we were looking for. And it was somebody who was still young enough, healthy enough to recover on their own. And sure they had some money problems like a lot of people. They'd lost their job and they had some money problems like a lot of people. But it was like, you know what, you're young, You're broke. I was young and broke at one time too. It is

not really worthy of a Christmas wish. And there is when there was some whose spouse just passed away. So I wrote them and I said, yeah, we'll consider your Christmas wish. And then they wrote a couple of days ago and they said, did you got any update on my Christmas wish? Which, honestly, we don't update people on their Christmas wish. We just don't. We get hundreds of submissions. It would like I wish we could, but it is. It just takes a long time to even go through

submissions. It does, so we obviously we can't update people. But if we are going to do a Christmas wish, we'll get a hold of you and say, hey, we're gonna do your Christmas wish? Can you come down to the radio station. And usually that's the first few hear from us. So they wrote and they said any update on my Christmas wish? So I wrote back yesterday and I said, I'm sorry, but your wish wasn't chosen. They wrote back, and this is why I stopped listening to you

guys years ago. Take care wave emoji and I'm like, so, here is somebody who didn't really like us unless we were doing something nice for them. And they admitted that they stopped listening. They don't listen anymore when they wanted, when they had their hand out boy, they sure were friendly. And that is one of the frustrations I think in life. I think it's one of those things like, you know, when you're in elementary school and you share your you know, oreos with the popular kid, they like you

until you don't have anything to give them anymore. And you know what, I'm not gonna let it bum me out because this is just it's just one of the frustrations. I go back to first grade. I think I told you this story, Jenny, even though I've told the story on the air. There was a kid named John Nazarella. He was the popular kid in

elementary school, probably second grade or something like that. So on the way to school one day, my sister was driving and then we stopped at the grocery store and we got two Hershey bars, one for me and one for me to give to John Nazarella because he was the popular kid. So I went in and I said, John, look, I got you a Hershey bar, and he's like, oh man, that's so cool. Figs wow. A couple of weeks later, he had I don't know, some potato chips or some thing, and I said, can I have some, John?

He said no, and I said but I gave you a Hershey bar and he said something like, I don't care. And I realized at a young age that sometimes people like you for what you have, not for what you are. So I completely agree with that, and I feel like you might you learned it at a young age. I think I learned it in my twenties, more so like the friendships I had where if I was like a good friend to them, but then you know, one little thing went wrong and they were super mean to me. I was like, hmm no,

or like truthfully being a part of the morning show. I feel like a lot of people were kind of like faky friends to me too, Oh really yeah, okay, Or I shouldn't say friends, more of like acquaintances. And they, you know, they they saw that I did something like this is a cool job, obviously, like love this job, and they saw that I had this job, and so they wanted to be closer to me, and like I said, more of them, acquaintance is not friends.

And so those people were always people. I'll be nice to them, but I kept them at an arm's length, you know. Yeah, you know, I guess I kind of forget about that sometimes, Jenny, because I forget. I honestly forget because I've been doing it so long that what I do would attract anybody who's kind of a groupie hanger on, like you

know, attention seeker or whatever. So I assume that everybody that likes me is is sincere so and I don't really you know, like immerse myself in a world where people even have an opportunity to like say, yeah, I'm friends with Dave Ryan. Yes, I did get. I did get reminded. I mean, who would say that anyway, But I did get reminded of that. Somebody said, you know why she likes you and I said, no, why because you're Dave Ryan. And I said, oh,

you really think so? I think she really likes me. Is like a friend. And She's like, no, she wants to tell her friends that she knows you and went to dinner with you. And I'm like, really, you think so so? And listen, Dave and I are just Dave and Jenny. We're not that cool. No, we're not that cool. And that's the funny thing is we forget how cool our job is. We're not that cool at all all. Right, Next one, I love this one. It's from Anna she received the first she is the original staff writer.

I got the first staff writer sticker and honestly got way too excited to learn that it was for me. Thank you. I'm still still too scared to put it somewhere. Someday I'll find the perfect spot. Anyway, I only have a five minute daily commute that I can listen to, which has gotten a bit longer now that I have daycare drop off and pick up. Long story short, I binge listened to the Minnesota Goodbye when I can so.

I heard last week you guys were talking about swinger conventions and the person that wrote in about camping swingers parties, Jenny, proceeded to say something to the effect of people are just getting it on while camping. How awkward. It triggered me to remember my favorite joke ever that I literally and waiting to write in about. It is one of those jokes when you think about it, your eyes water and nose things like when you drink a spicy McDonald's sprite.

I will bless you with the joke. Here we go. Y'all ever had sex while camping? No? Well, I heard it's fucking intense. Ha Okay, I'm not laughing because I read it last night, So I laughed at it last night. I am so hoping you guys think it's funny, if not embarrassing. No, it's very funny. You ever heard that you ever had sex while camping? No? I heard. It's fucking intense.

I love the Henry the Wasp joke and dumb slapstick humor. And that is from staff rder number one, and thank you, Anna, I appreciate that one. I'm gonna hit delete so I don't read it again. That takes me a second. Here we go. Yesterday we were talking about the last couple of days. A woman was doing an office cookie exchange and there was one gluten free person in the office, so everybody who's making gluten free cookies? And she said, am I a jerk? Because I'm not going

to make gluten free cookies just for this one person. So we had a discussion about how some people have to avoid gluten because it can be so bad for them, and other people avoid gluten because they think it's healthy, and so it's like, ah, I don't want gluten in my diet. And we said that's kind of one of those things where you think you think you're doing something healthy. But if your body tolerates gluten, you can have all the gluten you want. I guess. But some people will be like,

oh, I'm gluten free, sugar free and fat free. Well, sugar free and fat free might be good, but you don't need to be gluten free. But it's a trendy thing, so Ken writes in and Ken says Dave, and he's all the way in Iowa. By the way, you are correct, gluten is fine for people who have not been diagnosed with silliac disease or a small number of ailments and allergies, all of which are very rare. Peer review double blind studies have shown people do feel healthier when going

gluten free. Why because they now are paying more attention to what they eat and end up not eating the shit food they were eating before. Okay, it has nothing to do with how much gluten they eat. And it's a research study from John Hopkins Institute. And it sounds like Ken knows what he's talking about. So in other words, if you're going gluten free, that probably means you're going, well, I'm going gluten free. I'm also going to not drink as much. I'm gonna avoid some cookies and can avoid some

salt and fat and red meat. So I'm gonna feel better, not because I'm gluten free, but because overall I'm doing better. It makes sense, Yeah, it does, I get it. Ken says, I'd like to slap a staff writer sticker on my laptop. Well, you send me one. I've been listening since I was thirteen years old in two thousand and two, back in the extreme Jamie years. Wow. Okay, thank you, Ken, appreciate that. Hitting delete on the button. Here we go with.

I don't have anything to say other than thank you. I'm listening to podcast and getting caught up from my vacation, and I started to make it one point five one point two five speed to save a little time. And I finally listened to today's show. Yay, Jenny. What speed do you listen to podcasts at? I always do one. I can't believe all these people that are listening to faster speeds. I feel like my brain doesn't work that way. I can do one point five at the most. I cannot

do five or two point zero. That's double speed. I like a nice, comfortable level is one point two five. But I can do one point five. It depends on how well the podcaster articulates. But the two women I listen to on my favorite podcast, the Air Disaster Podcast, I do one point five and it's fine. Yeah, she wants say, I want to send a picture of my stickers that arrive while I was out of town. Thank you just for being yourselves. Have a great Christmas in New Year.

If I don't write again before then, love you all. And she put them up with her Christmas lights display on her wall. It looks like, so thank you, Liz, appreciate that one. Okay, let me see if this is something that we can do here. Oh, Jenny, this is it's a reminder talking about our predictions that we made earlier in the year. You know, at the beginning of every year. I've been thinking about those actually, so by the end of so we play those when we

come back from the holidays. We do. We always play it the first day we're back from her holiday break. Okay, this says my name is Jess, longtime listener, first time emailer. Thought first, I want to thank you for accompanying me every morning for the last twenty five years or so. Thank you, Jess. I appreciate the laughs, discussion and music. Every morning. I work at a local medical clinic. I always enjoyed your

show's New Year's predictions twenty twenty four predictions. For example, which celebrity couple will break up makeup? I was wondering if there was any chance you'd be willing to share your list of questions so I can do this at our clinic with the staff for twenty twenty four. Is something to do for our holiday week. Okay, let me write her back right now, Jenny, Let's let's do this. Okay, Okay, let's let's go in ahead and read

some Okay, so I can. I'm gonna go on my computer real quick because I can pull up our kind of show schedule from that day and probably be able to find exactly what we had. You just gotta give me like a minute. I want to start in with celebrity death. Yep, that's one. Celebrity breakup or divorce. Celebrity break up or divorce. Who on the show will have the best year? Do you do that one? Yeah?

We did that one? Mm hmm. Anything else? I'm looking Sorry, I have so many show schedules when I'm trying to IM worried now this is not that entertaining. I'll tell you what I can probably is it? Okay, hey, come back to this. Okay, So let's scroll down a little bit and see what we can find here. On the Show Monday podcast, A Show's Monday Podcast, Dave never said the answer to the first

grade homework question what word is the one that didn't work? Okay. The unfortunate thing is during the podcast it actually because of iHeartRadio and the stupid Zoomba Zumba casino whatever, it cut off the answer. Oh did you know about this? No, during the Minnesota Goodbye cut off that answer. It cut it off during the actual podcast, the radio show. So I'm going to give you this one again and i will give you the answer. So this is a first grade word problem. And the kid brought it home to mom

and said, Mom, take a look at this. I can't figure it out. Which of these words does it belong friend, desk, toothbrush, egg or silver? And this got a lot of people riled up because people missed the answer, and they even wrote into our boss Rich and said I missed the answer. Can you find the answer? So we got him the

answer. So friend, desk toothbrush, egg or silver. I think there's multiple answers, but for example, you could say friend is the only human, egg is the only thing you can eat, toothbrush is the only one with two syllables, desk is the only piece of furniture, and silver is the only color. The actual answer is silver. Why because it's a noun and an adjective, a noun silver like silver coins or a silver bar silver, you know, gold and silver or silver that's silver car So that was

the answer. The answer is silver. It doesn't satisfy a lot of people, but that is the answer. Do you want me to listen real quickly these answers for the prediction, Yes, please do yes, so we've got sometime on that. Yes, celebrity arrest, new celebrity couple, celebrity social media cringe worthy moment, celebrity divorce, celebrity baby, celebrity comeback, celebrity fall from grace, celebrity meltdown, slab beef, and who will have the

biggest song? And then these were kind of coworker questions between all of us. Who will be honored for something, who will have the most shocking thing happen, who will cry the most, who will spend the most on something ridiculous, Who will have the biggest year, Who will do the dumbest thing this year? Who will have the most tickets? Oh, like parking tickets? Oh yeah, probably Okay, I was like tickets like concert tickets? Okay. And who will go on the most unusual vacation. So those are

the ones that were between the four of us. Okay, that's cool. I can't wait to see what our predictions are. Yeah, don't worry, Jess, I will send these to you and you can play this with your people at your office. So thank you for listening. I think that's going to wrap it up. Yeah, for the Minnesota goodbye, we will be back. I'll be off on Monday, but Jenny, when Drake will do a Minnesota goodbye on Monday, keep them emails that coming in and send them

to Ryan Show at ktiebdb dot com. I'll be back for naughty Tuesday, so if you want to write in a naughty email. One thing that was how much time we got. We had a minute and a half perfect. A survey from porn Hub came out Thursday about the most popular categories of porn and it is giant test porn and what is giant test. It is the

one that I saw was animated. I'd never seen it before. It was basically a regular sized woman with another woman, and then she would shrink one woman down to about the size of your index finger, and then she would have sex with her. It was just weird. And that apparently is giant test porn. And there's maybe other varieties, but I had done enough research. I was kind of like, yeah, it's kind of like walking into a store and going there's nothing here for me. It was like, no,

I'm gonna go check out daddy mature porn. Now that's my favorite category, daddy mature. All Right, I'm gonna have to tell you to wrap it up because okay, the topic, Yeah, because we got to get going here. Goodbye, goodbye,